Episode 320: The Black Hole of High Conflict with Brook Olsen

If you’re stuck in endless loops with a high-conflict ex, Brook Olsen wants you to stop expecting them to change, and start changing how you respond.

Brook is a Certified Parenting Educator, Divorce Coach, and author of The Black Hole of High Conflict. In this conversation, we get real about what happens when you stop feeding the conflict, why parallel parenting is often the only way forward, and how choosing not to engage isn't weakness, it’s clarity. 

Plus, Brook offers a framework that isn’t just theory, it’s deeply practical and actionable, especially when the legal system or co-parenting landscape isn’t exactly on your side.

Here’s what else we get into, in this episode:

• Why disengagement is a laddered process, and how to stay in it (8:50)
• The nervous system’s role in conflict and how to regulate your response (10:27)
• What conscious competence looks like in high-stress situations (28:57)
• The difference between co-parenting and parallel parenting (32:52)
• How to stop pushing back and start reclaiming your energy (36:10)

Learn more about Brook Olsen: Brook Olsen is a Certified Parenting Educator with the International Network for Children and Families, a Certified Divorce Mediator, Divorce Coach, and author of The Black Hole of High Conflict, which offers perspectives and strategies for navigating a high conflict divorce.

Brook’s knowledge of how the nervous system works and understanding of the role it plays in psychological and physiological reactions to trauma, conflict and anxiety brings a holistic approach to his work with families caught in the High Conflict cycle.

Brook teaches classes in the High Conflict Diversion Program and trains instructors to teach the Program throughout the U.S. and Canada. He also leads workshops in communication for couples and is a peer consultant for fellow professionals.

Resources & Links:

Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Our Family Wizard
Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate 

Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective

Brook’s website
Brook’s podcast
The Black Hole of High Conflict
Brook on Instagram
Brook on Facebook

Brook’s Facebook Group for High Conflict Divorce Support 

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-320-the-black-hole-of-high-conflict-with-brook-olsen/