Valerie Jones joins me for a powerful conversation about something so many of us need to hear: redefining what it truly means to be selfish. Valerie is a life coach, host of The Selfish Woman Podcast, and the author of the upcoming book The Selfish Year: The Power of Choosing Yourself, hitting shelves in September 2025.
In our conversation, Valerie shares the transformative experience of her own "selfish year" after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship — a year that challenged her to get radically honest with herself and stop outsourcing her self-worth. We also dive into dating as a self-growth experiment (yes, really!), how emotional safety shapes our experiences of sex and intimacy, and why centering ourselves is not only radical, but absolutely necessary.
Here’s what else we get into, in this episode:
- Why Valerie chose “selfish” as her word of the year and how it became a life-changing framework (5:38)
- What Valerie’s recovery from people-pleasing looked like, and how it shows up in her work and life today (15:26)
- Emotional safety is non-negotiable for sex and intimacy (25:39)
- How to start trusting yourself again after emotional abuse (32:25)
Learn more about Val Jones: Valerie Jones is a Life Coach for women who are ready to create the life they truly desire. She is on a mission to redefine the word selfish, and help women learn how to prioritize themselves. Through her proven methods based in neuroscience, Valerie has helped thousands of women create better lives and relationships.
Valerie is host of The Selfish Woman Podcast and author of The Selfish Year: The Power of Choosing Yourself. She is known for her direct approach and relatability combined with humor and compassion.
Resources:
Thank you to today’s podcast sponsor: Wild Pastures
Submit your questions here for possible inclusion in future Q&A podcast episodes
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Valerie’s website
The Selfish Woman Podcast
Valerie on TikTok
Valerie on Instagram
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