If you’ve been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you’re alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It’s called the Abuser’s Playbook. And if there’s a playbook for them, there’s a playbook for you, too.
In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn’t about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back.
The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you’ll hear about in this episode):
Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle
Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth
Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what’s actually theirs
Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective
Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible
Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack
Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead
Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval
Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself
Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control
➡ Download The Survivor’s Playbook at KateAnthony.com/playbook
Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
How He’ll Likely React Bingo card
Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach
Kate on Facebook
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Episode link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-333-if-theres-a-playbook-for-them-theres-a-playbook-for-you/
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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Dateline NBC
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