Episode 336: Breaking Patterns, Choosing Power: Dating After Divorce with Jennie Young

I’m excited to welcome back Jennie Young to the podcast. Jennie is here to talk about dating after divorce and how to protect yourself from getting tangled in the patterns you worked so hard to get yourself out of. She’s the creator of the Burned Haystack Dating Method — a sharp and fiercely feminist approach to spotting danger early in the dating process, and the author of the upcoming book Burn the Haystack

In our conversation, Jennie and I dig into the realities of dating after divorce: from spotting danger in seemingly “safe” profiles to challenging the patriarchal scripts that keep women waiting to be chosen. Plus, we talk about shifting into the seat of choice, what it looks like to feel genuinely comfortable being single, and how these changes ripple out into raising kids with healthier expectations.

✨ Podcast episodes are available in two formats - audio and video! If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• Jennie shares her origin story and the ah-ha moment that led to creating The Burned Haystack Dating Method (2:31)
• The feminist philosophy behind Burned Haystack and how it flips the traditional “pick me” script (5:33)
• Why green flags can actually be red flags in disguise: from love bombing to performative sensitivity (15:25)
• The importance of being comfortable (and even happy) being single before re-entering dating (32:44)
• What the “extinction burst” in the toxic manosphere means, and why starving it of attention is essential (35:09)
• How to shift the messaging for our kids so they grow up with healthier expectations and values (42:39)

Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney’s, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others.

Resources & Links:
ALL NEW: The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are Now Available on YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

Jennie’s book Burn the Haystack
Jennie’s Substack, Burned Haystack
Jennie’s website
Jennie’s Facebook Group