340: How to Advocate for Yourself at Work. Step 3-Master the Ask

In today's episode, Heather wraps up her three-part series on how to advocate for yourself at work and this one's all about the magic moment: mastering the art of the ask.

If you've ever hesitated to ask for what you want because you weren't sure how to do it gracefully, persuasively, or confidently, this episode is for you. Heather breaks down what true charisma really means (it's not about being flashy or loud!) and how you can use empathy, storytelling, and the right tone to inspire others to say yes.

With powerful stories, evidence-based research, and step-by-step guidance, Heather shows you how to turn your next "ask" into a collaborative, impactful conversation that gets results.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What Charisma Really Is – It's not charm or popularity, it's the ability to get people to act.
  
  

• How to "Know Your Jury" – Why understanding your audience's pain points, needs, and goals changes everything about how you ask.
  
  

• The Power of Believing in Your Jury – How your energy and mindset shape the way others respond to you.
  
  

• Storytelling vs. Metaphors – Why the right metaphor can connect faster and hit deeper than a long story.
  
  

• The Role of Evidence – How to collect and create evidence to strengthen your case before you ask.
  
  

• Tone Over Body Language – The science behind why tone of voice carries more weight than posture or facial expressions.
  
  

• The "What Now?" Question – What to ask if your first request doesn't get a yes and how it helps you find your next step.
  
  

Resources & Links:

📘 Free Guide: Advocate for Yourself at Work – Download Heather's companion workbook to put this three-part series into action.
🌐 The Elegant Warrior – Visit elegantwarrior.com for more resources

In this episode:

[00:00] Welcome to Part 3: Mastering the Art of the Ask
[01:15] What "charisma" actually means
[04:45] Knowing your jury and why it matters
[06:40] The difference between empathy and perspective
[09:10] Believing in your jury before they believe in you
[11:23] Why your words matter more than your body language
[13:45] Storytelling vs. metaphor: what connects faster
[16:10] How to collect and create evidence
[18:30] The truth about tone of voice and energy
[20:50] What to do when your ask doesn't get a yes
[23:00] Putting it all together: the three steps of self-advocacy

💬 Quote of the Episode

"Before you worry about them believing in you, try believing in them and see what a difference that makes."

Connect with Heather:

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• Heather's TikTok ‍

• [e-mail]

 

The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may