February 9, 2025 • 39 mins
Skylar is back for her fourth session a little over one year from her first session, and WHAT A TRANSFORMATION! Skylar and Traci discuss how she just wanted to be okay around black beans and eat a burger, to earning more money in one month than she did previous year. She got herself a management company thanks to another friend in the business (Danni Daniels) and just returned from the AVN awards. The goal for this session is to help her cut ties with her parents who repeatedly cause her anxiety and stress. Her uncle was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer, and she was forgotten when she asked to be included in plans to spend time with him. If that's not enough, she was all excited about a boob lift. Still, she then decided to postpone it until she's in a better mental state to handle being unable to work or lift anything heavy for 6 months while she's healing from the surgery. After covering a variety of issues, Traci now has the groundwork to move forward and get Skylar in a better place.
KEY POINTS:
-Traci Kanaan introduces Skylar Calico, highlighting the unplanned nature of the podcast and the real-life stories shared by guests.
-Traci recalls Skylar's initial session a year ago, noting Skylar's bitter and angry demeanor at the time.
-Skylar shares that her career took off after releasing bitterness, focusing on social media and content creation, which led to earning four times more than previously.
-Skylar mentions attending the AVN Awards with her social media management agency, contrasting it with the strict control of talent agencies.
QUOTABLES:
“ And sometimes you get caught up in the moment of life, yeah, and you don't sit there you think, you know, a year ago, I was grossed out by black beans, yeah, oh my god. “
“ It's causing a lot of strife within my family themselves, but more importantly, my uncle has stage four fucking cancer, right’
“It's the triggers, and it's also like, so I basically came to terms with the fact that my family is dead to me”
PRODUCTS / RESOURCES:
To learn more about Wings Hypnosis and book a session with her, visit wingshypnosis.com OR follow Traci on:
IG | @wingshypnosis - instagram.com/wingshypnosis/
YT | youtube.com/channel/UCXL-XQBxmgLL_NdYa_qN0zA
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Traci Kanaan (00:04):
Music, none of what happens on this podcast is
planned in advance. My guests,my clients, are real people with
incredible stories. They aregraciously sharing their
hypnosis session and theirhealing journey with you the
listener, you will experiencefirsthand, their highs, their
(00:26):
lows, and their laps. And wehave Skyler back. It's been like
a year, okay, and, and just soyou know, we haven't done like
sessions in between. Everysession we've done with Skyler
has been on the episode here inso I'm just going to review.
Okay, alright. First of all,welcome to the hilarious
(00:47):
hypnotist. I always do shit outof order, because that's how I
roll. Um, so welcome to the outof order hilarious hypnotist,
but you will be seeing her inorder. Um, because a year ago
was our first session, and and Imet Skylar. It was Thanksgiving,
and you could just tell she was,like, tweaked, bitter, angry and
(01:09):
and maybe worse than now,definitely so anyhow. And then,
like, between that session, andthen I think we did one in April
of 2024 you had ended up, inthat span of time earning more
money in like, the last monththan you did the whole year
(01:30):
prior.
Skylar Calico (01:31):
Yeah, and I ended up, like, really, like, like,
your career just took offbecause let go of all the
bitterness and all theeverything, and then just like,
be like, I'm focusing on mycareer, and I'm like, happy
doing it, because I literally dosocial media for a living, and
I'm a content creator, yeah. Anda lot of times it's like, funny
shit and like, when you're not amiserable person, people like
(01:53):
watching that a lot more, yeah.
Traci Kanaan (01:56):
So it's really been cool for me to just see
this person just bloom and justYeah, take advantage of all
these opportunities
Skylar Calico (02:06):
four times what I made then, wow. So it's just
been like this, up and up and upand up and up, wow, yeah,
Traci Kanaan (02:15):
I used to say my icy comedy heart, but it is for
hypnosis. Now. What's today?Two, 625, all right, so however,
you didn't come back here justto tell me that things are
amazing, but I had to start withthat, because that that's what I
(02:39):
live for.
Skylar Calico (02:40):
You know, everything we've worked on has
worked. It's just like, lifehappens. Yeah, you know, like,
it's not like, it's like, oh,well, we didn't get to this
enough. It's just like, No,people kind of suck still.
Yeah, I can't control whether ornot people, I can't stop other
people from people who suck as
Traci Kanaan (02:59):
much as I try. And if I could, I Yeah, alright. So
any other updates you want togive before you go into the what
you're here for today? Because Idon't even know other than,
Skylar Calico (03:14):
other than, like, the brief summary I gave you the
other day, yeah, um, I don'tthink like, I'm traveling the
country.
Traci Kanaan (03:23):
You went to the avian awards. I went
Skylar Calico (03:25):
to the avian awards. I was not nominated or
anything. I just I went
Traci Kanaan (03:29):
when you got a agent. I have an
Skylar Calico (03:33):
agency. Yeah, I actually went with my agency.
And my agency is like a socialmedia management agency. It's
not like talent agency, so it'svery different, and I'm very
glad that I went with a socialmedia agency over a talent
agency, just at AVN, forexample, because, like, the
talent agents, like, are like,holding their girls there, and
(03:54):
they're like, No, you have atime slot. You have to be here.
Well, like, I'm watching thisone girl cry. I'm like, That.
That seems a little traffic,yeah, but, uh, my agent's like,
Come goes, you, please. I don'tcare. I don't have any of you.
Like you're just here of yourown volition. And it's pretty
much like my agent works for meinstead I work for my agents.
Okay, pretty nice.
Traci Kanaan (04:14):
Awesome. So you got the social media and now, is
this the one that Danny?
Skylar Calico (04:18):
Danny Daniels, yeah, turns it on to Yeah. Danny
Daniels, I described her as,like my trans mom the other day,
and she like, she loved it.
Traci Kanaan (04:28):
Oh, awesome. Yeah. All right. So, Danny Daniels, if
you haven't seen Danny Daniels,check her out. An amazing trans
performer.
Skylar Calico (04:38):
Oh, my God, I actually did a scene with Danny.
Oh,
Traci Kanaan (04:41):
cool. Well, don't check her out at work. No, not
suitable. Not Safe For Work. Isit Danny with two ends or one
Skylar Calico (04:48):
end? 1n, d, a n, i, d, a n, I, E, L,
Traci Kanaan (04:52):
S, and then x, x, x.com, or something like that.
Yeah. They're, they're
Skylar Calico (04:57):
like, Danny's a cam model. Mostly, but you can
find old scenes, and they havean O,
Traci Kanaan (05:03):
F and everything. So props to Danny. Did a scene
with Danny. Did a scene with
Skylar Calico (05:06):
Danny and Aubrey Kate, which is pretty cool. Um,
but no, Danny. Like, basically,when I was at Paradise, at the
clubhouse, and I walk up, andwe've been filming all day, and
I'm just exhausted. I am, like,run through because I'm managing
everything on my own too. Solike, if I took a day off to
film, suddenly everything elsewould fall apart, and then I
knew I had six times as muchwork the next day to do, because
(05:28):
I had, like, done the stuff thatI need to do still. But like, I
had taken time off from, like,sitting in front of a computer.
She goes, Do you have an agent?And I was like, No, I didn't
know. Here she got Matt on thephone. Who's, who's my agent
here, call him, talk to Matt.Okay, I talked to Matt. And
Matt's like, hey, so we can doas much or as little as you
(05:49):
want. And I was like, fuckingperfect. Like, I want so much
control. It's not even funny.Like, I want you guys doing the
bare minimum. But I want, Ilike, because every other agent
I talk to, we're going to takeover all of your social media,
all of your paid sites, all ofyour everything. And I'm like,
no, no, I just need a little bitof help with, like, the basic
(06:11):
questions that just consumetime. Yeah, right. The Hey, can
I get this? Hey, can I get that?The plug and play stuff like,
that's all I need you guys todo. I don't want you like, you
know, chatting individually withpeople. I want you just doing
plug and play
Traci Kanaan (06:26):
nice so and just to put this all in perspective,
I feel like our session a yearago was like, if I could just
enjoy a burger. Yeah,
Skylar Calico (06:39):
I could just enjoy, I did enjoy a burger I
had. I had some kind of baklavashit this morning. That was
great.
Traci Kanaan (06:47):
We've gone from earning six times as much money
as we did a year ago, if I
Skylar Calico (06:52):
could just enjoy a burger, and if black beans
didn't scare the now, like, waymore tattooed, and, like,
successful and, yeah, it's
Traci Kanaan (07:04):
weird. So awesome. Okay,
Skylar Calico (07:06):
so sorry. I kind of went on a weird tangent
Traci Kanaan (07:10):
there, because it shows, it shows how far you've
come. And sometimes you getcaught up in the moment of life,
yeah, and you don't sit thereyou think, you know, a year ago,
I was grossed out by blackbeans, yeah, oh my god.
Skylar Calico (07:24):
Watch our original like, rewatch our
original session, just so thatway I could, like, put
everything yeah
Traci Kanaan (07:31):
for myself again. Okay, so now you have new
challenges coming up, yes, if Iremember correct, you had had or
have scheduled
Skylar Calico (07:41):
boob lift. I ended up rescheduling that I was
supposed to have my consultationon Monday. And I was like, you
know, I've got some, like,mental health stuff that I'm
working on. And when you get abreast lift, you have to, you
can't lift over 10 pounds forsix months, right? And you can't
work out and everything else.And I'm a very active person,
(08:02):
and so I'm like, let me, like,work on my mental health before
I lose this very, very importantcoping skill that I have, yeah?
Because otherwise I'm just, I'mgonna go crazy.
Traci Kanaan (08:12):
Alright, so six months, yeah, uh, 10 pounds or
less. Mm, hmm, no, working outlike I can't even
Skylar Calico (08:21):
lift my cat. She's 12 pounds. She's gonna be
so mad at me if I can't dancewith her in the kitchen. No
Traci Kanaan (08:28):
cat lifting and and this is I can't even stress
enough that don't fuck withthis. Yeah, because I had a
girlfriend who didn't fuckinglisten and then blew it, yeah,
and and did some damage toherself. So, yeah,
Skylar Calico (08:45):
I have a, I have a friend who, she's like, Oh my
God. Like, rest, like, I got itdone absolutely there you're
gonna be like, No, I'm being sounproductive. I'm like, oh god.
So, like, there's a lot ofthings. I'm like, I just wanna
work on. Okay,
Traci Kanaan (08:58):
so mental health rescheduled the boob lift for
six months, right? Yeah, yourescheduled it for six months
out.
Skylar Calico (09:06):
I haven't officially rescheduled. I was
like, let's, let's, like, wait,you know, okay, and if I can get
cleared up in less than sixmonths. But I'm like, Yeah, I'm
doing really good in less thansix months, then yeah, We'll
reschedule. Get it done, andthey really just need two weeks
warning. Okay?
Traci Kanaan (09:24):
And then you said your mom, like, said something
to you, like, she knew you werecoming in here too. Oh, so no
contact with my parents. So nocontact with parents for a lot
Skylar Calico (09:38):
of reasons, some of them political, some of them,
whatever, mostly like a lot ofwhat I do for a job is about
media literacy and, you know,fact checking and everything
else. I always look for a left,a right and a middle and
everything else before I evermake any comments on anything
like you, make sure that yoursources is right. Right, okay,
Traci Kanaan (10:02):
my dad is
Skylar Calico (10:05):
drinking the fucking kool aid on a lot of
things and not fact checkinganything. It's causing a lot of
strife within my familythemselves, but more
importantly, my uncle has stagefour fucking cancer, right? My
uncle was down for probably thelast time, like, down here in
Florida. He lives inMassachusetts, and he was
supposed to be down, like, aweek before I went to AVN, so I
(10:27):
called them, and I was like,hey, what day is he arriving?
They're like, my mom's like, Idon't know. You gotta talk to
your father. I'm like, okay, heydad, what day is he right? Oh,
we don't know. Fucking hell. Um,my dad is a chronic alcoholic.
Okay? He used to be one of themost intelligent men I ever
(10:48):
knew.
Traci Kanaan (10:49):
Um,
Skylar Calico (10:52):
and now it's, it's hard to listen to him talk,
okay, and he sees no problemwith it. I understand that. I'm
going to have to, like,basically say goodbye to him in
liver failure, anyway. So myuncle, sorry again, I haven't
taken 80 minutes. Um, okay, butwe're kind of all over the
place, um, so my uncle came downfinally and I we were sick when
(11:20):
we first got back from Vegas, aswe are every single time. And so
I called my dad the day before,and I was like, hey, Rob's been
clear of symptoms. And I've beenclear of symptoms for, you know,
a little bit of time. We'll be24 hours clean tomorrow. Can I
please see my uncle? Like I'mgoing to stop by. And he's like,
yeah, totally blah, blah. Ithink, okay, we squared this
(11:41):
away. So I call him on my wayover,
um, the next day, he goes, Oh,we're in clear water drinking at
11 o'clock in the morning.
I go, Well, I really wanted tosee my uncle. Oh, well, I don't
know. He leaves Friday, and I'mlike, Yeah, Dad, I have a life.
(12:03):
I have things going on that meanthat this was my day, that I
could see him, yeah,potentially, before he dies, and
he just can't. Then I'm like,okay, and he goes, Well, you
should have called me before toremind me. I'm like, I called
you yesterday. I called you onmy way. How much more reminder
(12:26):
Am I capable? Like, not evenjust, like, do you want? Um, and
you know, he's like, Well, blah,blah. And I'm like, Yeah, don't
worry. I won't be asking you foranything ever again. I won't be
reaching out again. And I just,and I've had all the trauma with
my mother in the past, and the,you know, their parents are
(12:48):
still together, right? Myparents are still together, and
they are in this wonderful,narcissistic, co dependent
relationship where my mother's anarcissist, like, diagnosed,
like, I don't throw this wordaround willy nilly, where, like,
you know, like, some people arelike, Oh, my God, that's so
narcissistic. Of you know, mymother literally is a diagnosed
narcissist, and my dad is a Btype submissive personality who
(13:11):
is incredibly co dependent onher. So it's, it's a wonderful
thing, okay,
Traci Kanaan (13:18):
all right, and so
Skylar Calico (13:21):
both I know. Alright, so you didn't see it,
yeah, we're literally lookingat, I'm trying to orchestrate
with my grandmother, who's up inMassachusetts too. I may have to
go fly up there now because,like, I'd be damned, and I got
the money to fucking do it. Iwill. Yeah, you know, as much as
I really don't want to go backto my hometown,
Unknown (13:41):
yeah, the fuck we are okay.
Traci Kanaan (13:46):
So you didn't get to see him, so you're gonna have
to fly to see him. So maybe itwas actually the way it was
supposed to work out. Yeah? So
Skylar Calico (13:54):
I'm not really mad about that. It's like all
the other shit as well with myparents. It's just like
accumulating, accumulating,accumulating, accumulating, and
finally, like, this was kind ofthe the straw that broke the
camel's back that I was like,You know what? You guys really
don't add value to my life, andthey only call me when they need
something. You know? They onlycall me when they're like, hey,
(14:15):
our dog sitters out of town. Canyou let the dogs out? I'm like,
oh, so me for having a wife, youknow, or like, half the time I'm
not even in state, like, I'm,you know, you know how much I
try we travel. Yeah, they'rejust out of touch with your
life. They're out of touch withmy life. And then, like, if
you're not able to helpthemselves, Well, I just, I
(14:36):
struggled for so long with you,and I just worked so hard. And
I'm like, that's I'm 27 yearsold. How much are you going to
cry about when I was four?
Traci Kanaan (14:46):
Yeah, but that's the narcissistic way,
Skylar Calico (14:48):
yeah. Like, I always use the example of, like,
dare
Traci Kanaan (14:51):
you not structure your whole world around me. I
was
Skylar Calico (14:55):
just an example of, like, my mom does not clean
the house at all. She does notclean she doesn't. Do laundry.
She does not. She barely cooksanymore. But like, you know, if
she had her way, she would donone of these things, and does
the bare minimum. Like, you goover that house and the sink is
so full of dishes and food, andthere's the I like, I'm always
wiping down the counters whenI'm over there, and everything
(15:16):
else. It's just dirty. It's amillion dollar house and
everything else. Um, I justremember her folding this towel
one time, like a singular towel,because she needed to pack for a
cruise she was going on orsomething, and she Oh, look at
me. I slave away. Like,literally, like, I slave away,
poor me. Woe is me. Like, Ithink that's the first how you
(15:41):
folded in a year. Okay, stand ifyou're like, Yeah, I have three
small children, and I have tochase them all day, and I have
to do this, and I have to dothat, and like, I cook and I
clean and I slave away and I goto work, and I do this like she
(16:02):
spent the last like, 10 yearsgetting her master's degree.
Didn't work, lived off of my dadfor all that. Yeah, she had
scholarships and everythingelse, but, like, he paid for
everything, like, with thehouse, blah, blah, took her time
getting her master's degree,yada yada yada. And then like,
was like, oh, I want a career,because I've never had a career
(16:24):
because she was a dependent.
It's I slave away, and I'm like,Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (16:33):
okay, so what, what can I help you with?
Skylar Calico (16:37):
Is it the triggers? It's the triggers, and
it's also like, so I basicallycame to terms with the fact that
my family is dead to me. Okay. Iwant to come to terms with the
fact that my family is dead,dead to me. You know, like, I
want to not, like, miss them somuch. I want to not. I want to
be okay with the fact that, likeevery mental health professional
(16:58):
I've gone to, every singleperson in my life is like, dude,
cut your family off. Okay? Youknow this isn't just like, my
friends being like, Oh, my God,you shouldn't talk to them
anymore. Like, no. Like, mentalhealth professionals are like,
No, this is an extremely toxicrelationship in your life. You
need to cut your family off.Okay? How do I become more okay
with that? Because, like, partof me is like, I just, I could,
(17:18):
I could always, I could, just Icould. I could reach out. I
could. I could just call them. Icould, I'm a bad daughter,
because I'm not there for themconstantly. I'm not like they
called and I didn't answer andnow they're mad at me.
Okay, like guilt.
Traci Kanaan (17:35):
Okay, so what are the reasons to cut your family
off all right? Toxic, yeah,actually, you gave me those
reasons. What are the reasons tostay in touch? They're my
family. Okay?
Skylar Calico (17:53):
I have a 16 year old autistic brother, that's
right, yeah, who is not greatabout answering his phone, and I
don't want to lose him, becausehe and I are practically twins.
Okay? We are two peas in afucking pod, and he is, he is
the the man of my life. Like,like, if it comes between my
(18:18):
brother and anyone else, it's
Traci Kanaan (18:20):
my brother, alright? So, because they're my
family, the 16 year old brother,two peas in a pod, why else keep
in touch with them? I couldn't,honestly, like, there's no okay,
alright. So what happens if youcut them off.
Skylar Calico (18:42):
So the problem is, my mother does this fawning
thing. So that's like, why shecalled me last night. She's, oh,
I was thinking we could getlunch tomorrow or something. I'm
like, wow, you've never invitedme out to lunch ever in my life.
Right the minute that I like,set boundaries. It's well, like
you, but like, I'm, look at,look at how great I am. I'm I'm
(19:04):
trying, and they do this just alove bombing thing, and the
like, the fawning, and like, allsudden, she's like, Here, here's
a thing that you like here,here's and I'm like, I'm not, I
don't even really like thatthing anymore. That was cool
when I was like, 14, yeah.
Traci Kanaan (19:18):
But lunch tomorrow, set boundaries
Skylar Calico (19:21):
when you set boundaries, when I set
boundaries, she almost fawns andshe love bombs and does the
like, oh, fuck, I've been caughtnow I have to, like, suck up
really hard. And I'm like, Idon't want you to do that. I
just want you to respect theboundary. And if we were to
ever, you know, have arelationship in the future, like
(19:43):
respect the boundary. Let me dothe healing, let me do the work
on myself. Okay? And then let mecome to you that that would be
ideal, because, like, she'sstill my mom. You know, as much,
as much as she is terrible, Istill. To crave intrinsically as
(20:04):
a daughter does, to have arelationship with her as one
does. I don't know why, as onedoes is just my phrase for
today, but I've said it probablyseven times, and I've only been
awake for an hour. That's allgood.
Traci Kanaan (20:18):
She's still my mom, and I crave that
relationship as one does, as onedoes, you're literally, Oh,
yeah. Everything you say, Canwill be used again, alright, as
one does, this one does, that'sone hit. It just does. See,
Skylar Calico (20:43):
you're gonna start using it though, this one
does,
Traci Kanaan (20:46):
alright, so there is, there's the gotcha, yeah?
Okay, um, I know they're toxic,but they're my family. Yeah, I
know they're crazy, but I don'twant to lose touch with my
brother. Is it possible youwould lose touch with your
(21:07):
brother if you cut them off?
Skylar Calico (21:10):
Yeah? Like they've always said, I can still
have a contact with my brother.The problem is, my brother's
really bad answering his phone.Okay? And he's really unreliable
on his own. Okay, so he's
high functioning, like, I sayhe's autistic, and people are
like, Oh, we picture, you know,I'm like, no, no. Like, he's,
he's high functioning, just painin my ass.
(21:32):
That's, that's the
Traci Kanaan (21:33):
gist of it. Okay, so he's unreliable. So if you
call him five times, how manytimes will he answer?
Skylar Calico (21:41):
Probably none of them. I'll get a Snapchat later
if he remembers. Okay, yougotta, like, just barely catch
him in that one. Like, most ofthe time I would go through my
parents to have contact withthem.
Traci Kanaan (21:54):
Okay, all right, so how if you were to cut off
your family? How would you feel?
Skylar Calico (22:05):
How would I like to feel? Or how would I feel?
How
Traci Kanaan (22:07):
would you like to feel?
Skylar Calico (22:09):
I would like to feel relief. I would like to
feel control,
you know, in control of ofmyself, in control of the
situation, I would like to feelindependent. Okay? You know,
like, when you break up with abad boyfriend, you're like, I'm
(22:31):
a trap bitch. I don't needanyone. And you're going out
with your girlfriends and like,that's the feeling I want, okay?
Traci Kanaan (22:36):
And then when you've tried to set boundaries,
and it doesn't work, what'shappened in the past. It's
Skylar Calico (22:41):
a lot of the fawning. It's a lot of the like,
Please come back. I love you.I'm like, again. It reminds me
of just like a breakup, andthey're like, but I love you,
and you're like, that's greatfor you. So fawning and guilt,
it's the fawning and guilt, it'sthe it's a lot of the like, but
you're still our daughter. Like,you're supposed to blah,
blah, blah, and I'm like, andyou cut off your mom because she
(23:07):
wasn't the first narcissist. Myword was worse,
Traci Kanaan (23:09):
okay, all right, but you're still our daughter.
All right, the relief, like
Skylar Calico (23:16):
you still owe us. We did so much. You did. We did
so much for you when you wereyounger, like we we sacrificed
so much for you. And I'm like,Uh huh, send me a bill. Send me
an invoice. I will pay it if itmeans that I no longer have to
deal with these fucking guilttrips.
Traci Kanaan (23:33):
Yeah, but that won't it. Won't know
Skylar Calico (23:37):
that's the point that I'm at. We're like, just
send me a fucking invoice sothat I can pay it, and we can be
done with this, whether it's anemotional invoice or a financial
one. Okay,
Traci Kanaan (23:47):
all right, so here we go. Let's think about all
this. All right, you have thisrelationship with your parents,
and it's just an ongoing deal,you know, Father, yeah, I get
the
Skylar Calico (24:00):
glimmer of positive and then your father's
Traci Kanaan (24:04):
chronic alcoholic, narcissistic relationship with
the parents you have a B typedad and an A type mom, after
calling every day to see youruncle with stage four cancer,
Who was down in Florida for thelast time. They didn't really
(24:27):
make a time for you to meet withhim, and so now you have to fly
to see
Skylar Calico (24:31):
him. Well, they did, and then they went, Oh, we
forgot. Oh yeah, yeah, that thatwas part. It wasn't the like, he
didn't make a time that wouldhave been okay. It was it was
the oh, well, you should havereminded me okay.
Traci Kanaan (24:44):
And your mom was folding towels for the first
time in forever. I slave away,and then she spent 10 years
getting her masters because shewanted a career. Um, I wrote
down my family is dead to me. I.Not, oh, sorry. I don't want to
miss them. Cut my family off. Ihang in there because they're my
(25:08):
family, and for my 16 year oldautistic brother, when I set
boundaries, I get all thisfawning and love bombing like,
oh, fuck, I've been caught at mygame. She's still my mom, but I
want to feel relief, control,independent, like I'm the bad
(25:30):
bitch that I broke up with thistoxic relationship. Does that
sound about right? Okay? Andwhen you hear these words back
at you, what do you sense? Whichpart, any of them, just a
general, especially, like, the
Skylar Calico (25:48):
the ending part with the, like, when we started
getting into the, you know, whyI want to separate, blah, blah,
like, battle, I was like, yes,yes, absolutely. Like, that's
all I do. I want to have this,like, Independence feeling and
this, like breaking away and youknow, I'm my partner has, you
know, his parents are dead, andI'm kind of fucking jealous.
(26:11):
Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (26:12):
I saw that post. I saw that post on Facebook where
you said I didn't want to meetyour parents, and he takes you
to clear to be actually buried
Skylar Calico (26:20):
him a statue off the coast of Clearwater Beach.
Traci Kanaan (26:23):
Yeah. I was like, wow. Okay, wow. He
Skylar Calico (26:27):
was totally okay. He was like, That's fucking
hilarious. Like so many peoplewere like, you're not supposed
to make those jokes when yourpartner has a dead parent. And
I'm like, No, you don'tunderstand. He wrote the fucking
joke like he's the one who wrotethe joke. And I said, if I film
this, are you okay with it? Andif I posted, you went, hell yes,
yeah,
Traci Kanaan (26:44):
buried in a statue. I was like, Alright, I
guess we all go our differentways. Okay, so go ahead and
close your eyes, and I want youto think about this relationship
with your parents, and there'sgood and bad. We've talked about
(27:07):
various aspects of it over theyear, alright, and in your body
somewhere, you feel when youthink of your mom and your dad,
their dad's an alcoholic. Mom'sa narcissist. Where do you
experience this? In your body,somewhere between your head and
(27:30):
your toes, there's going to be asense of family right here,
okay, in your gut,
Skylar Calico (27:36):
kind of like a diaphragm, okay, I'm trying not
to gesture to the boobs. So, youknow, we're trying to keep it
relatively busy. Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (27:49):
we never mark this for kids. Don't worry.
Skylar Calico (27:55):
Oh, like, like, right, okay, so in your like,
the heart chakra, kind of,
Traci Kanaan (27:59):
okay, that makes total sense to me. But even that
you mentioned the the gut alittle bit. So it's gut is
control, and then heart is love,alright, so go ahead and focus
on that and think of what coloris this feeling, what color, if
(28:22):
you were to give it a color thatrepresents your parents and the
relationship with your parents.What would that be like? A
yellow orange, a yellow orange,okay, is it hard, or is it soft?
Like texture one, yeah, um,trust your first impressions,
kind of liquidy, liquidy. It'slike, like an amorphous blob, an
(28:46):
amorphous blob, yellow, orange,amorphous
Skylar Calico (28:50):
like a Topaz color, amorphous blob. Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (28:54):
alright. And, and it moves around, doesn't it?
Okay? So does it always stay inthat general location, or does
it move to other parts of yourbody? It
Skylar Calico (29:05):
can move like, forward and
back, like, from the front tothe back, but it doesn't really
go up or down.
Traci Kanaan (29:12):
Okay, so it moves front and back.
Skylar Calico (29:15):
Like, sometimes I'll feel it more in my back,
sometimes I'll feel it more inmy like, stomach area.
Traci Kanaan (29:19):
And is this a feeling that you want to keep in
any way, shape or form. I waslike, no, okay, all right, why?
I mean, I
Skylar Calico (29:28):
like the color, I like, I like having access to,
like, the heart and the stomachand stuff like that. But, but
that, that lump that's sittingthere, like, blocking
everything, yeah,
Traci Kanaan (29:37):
alright, so let's take that lump out. Okay, that
yellow, orange, amorphousliquid. Go ahead and just, if
you want to, like, put a strawand then let it drain.
Unknown (29:50):
Sectioning,
Traci Kanaan (29:53):
I'm not, I'm good, but I'm not that lipo sectioning
the damn Yeah, but it just. Thatorange, yellow, whatever it is.
That's your family relationship.You don't want to keep it right?
So let's get it out. Okay, allright. So imagine however you
take this out. Maybe the hole inthe liposuction was a bad
Skylar Calico (30:13):
enough you said, you said straw. So I'm just
picturing somebody with, like, agiant, like, syringe, and then
just, like, get creative.
Traci Kanaan (30:20):
I don't care. I just don't want that idiot,
right? I don't give a fuck howit looks out. It just, it's not
doing you any good sittingthere. But if you're reluctant
to get rid of it, what's thatabout? Like, oh, like, I, if I
get rid of this, then my parentsare gone. And so there's that.
(30:44):
Yeah, okay, so let's get busy. Ayear
Skylar Calico (30:46):
ago, yes, now I'm just like, Y'all dragged me
down.
Traci Kanaan (30:50):
Yeah, right, alright. So get rid of that
orange, yellow, amorphous liquidthat's in there. Yuck, right?
Just,
Unknown (31:01):
am I okay? Do
Traci Kanaan (31:04):
it, do it, do it, do it, alright. It's gotta come
out because it's stuck, right?And the more it's stuck, the
more it stays there, and thenthe more it does, like damage
and stuff, alright. So, and itit, you know, stuck energy ruins
your body, alright. So that'swhy it's got to go, alright. And
when you feel it's out, you'reprobably not done. Just get it
(31:27):
out. Get it out. All right,check back in. What do you
experience now in that space,like, space like, it's not
Skylar Calico (31:38):
cluttered, it's like everything's kind of like
shifting into where it
Traci Kanaan (31:42):
should be, yeah, alright. Is that a good feeling?
Yeah, okay. It's like not beingbloated. Good, alright. So now,
somewhere out in space there isa relationship that you enjoy.
Okay, okay, imagine thisrelationship, and maybe it's and
(32:09):
it can be relationships that youenjoy. So it could be your guy,
it could be m, who we've talkedabout before. So go ahead and
hold that relationship in yourhand and think about what you
love about these relationships,like these people support you.
(32:31):
It's not always all about them,right? They love bomb you, but
it's sincere, but they'll alsotell you when you're fucking up,
but in a loving way, right?Okay, how does this feel when
you look at this relationshipcompared to the yellow, orange,
amorphous? Well, a light purple.I like purple, and it's glowy,
(32:57):
glowy, Perfect, alright, so holdthat in your hands, and that
light purple, and go ahead andgive it a spin, and it's going
to spin in a way that feels goodfor you. Okay. So that spin that
means that there's more peoplein your life that give you that
all right. There's people thatsupport you and love you just as
(33:18):
you are. Okay? You got that keepspinning. It should be growing
all right? Because you're goingto meet more people. When you
set your frequency to this,you're going to start to attract
people with that same dynamic,right? And when you're ready, go
ahead and take that glow purpleand put it in your heart solar
(33:40):
plexus area and notice whathappens?
Doesn't that feel better? Yeah,doesn't that feel better? Okay?
So that's something you can do.You. Let's just call it that
purple glow feeling all right.And these are all pro Skyler
(34:00):
people put it right in there.All right, so now let's test our
work. That yellow, orange,amorphous blob is knocking on
the Skyler door. What do you do?
Skylar Calico (34:17):
It's on the floor. It's just a ball of fat.
Like, that's all I'm picturing.Have you ever seen fat outside
of the body when they take itout? Like, that's just yep, yep,
all right. It makes that soundtoo but, but now
Traci Kanaan (34:30):
it's saying, Hey, I love you. I love I'm the
yellow, orange, amorphous blobthat loves you. What do you
experience?
Skylar Calico (34:38):
I don't need a yellow more of a more amorphous,
blah, but I have yellow, orange,amorphous.
Traci Kanaan (34:50):
Good, alright, so can, let's set up like a
protection, um, you can takethis yellow, I'm sorry, purple.
All the glow purple. Take alittle piece of it, and I want
you to maybe make an imaginaryring or a necklace or a bracelet
(35:12):
out of that purple glowmaterial, and it protects you
from that yellow, orangeamorphous block from getting
back in. Oh, there you go, addedas a charm there, yes, okay, and
what, what shape is it?
Skylar Calico (35:30):
Um, I just pictured like a little like
glowing star, like fall,
Traci Kanaan (35:34):
perfect. So you have the glowing star there,
alright, and now it's protectingyou. And so now the yellow,
orange, amorphous blob said,Hey, I really, really love you.
We should go get lunch. No,
Skylar Calico (35:52):
like I'm literally picturing it as
Calcifer from House movingCastle's Moving Castle
Traci Kanaan (35:57):
like that.
Unknown (35:59):
A little charm,
Traci Kanaan (36:01):
all right, and is it working? Yeah, okay, all
right, I'm trying to just createall these different scenarios.
Can you pull a sense of reliefand control from that purple
glowing star? Yeah? Okay, howabout that independent bad
bitch? Yeah.
Skylar Calico (36:23):
But I don't have to be this this. Have the people
that support me like I alwaysforget that. I have people that
love me and support me. I'm justlike, Ah, now I'm alone, and I'm
not alone.
Traci Kanaan (36:35):
You're not alone, you're not alone. Um, okay, so
now we're going to do one morething we have that protecting
you, just to check our bases. Goahead and close your eyes, and I
want you to imagine that yourparents are here in spirit, not
(36:57):
dead, but just their theirspirit is here, and there are
these cords that connect you,okay. And these cords represent
emotional, physical, spirit,okay. And some of the cords are
really good, and some of themsuck, alright, what I want you
(37:21):
to do is imagine cutting thecrappy cords that connect you.
Skylar Calico (37:27):
Is it wrong that I immediately pictured bungee
cords where you, like, unhookthem and then they snap towards
you?
Traci Kanaan (37:34):
Let's review. There's no way to do this wrong,
okay?
Unknown (37:39):
Like, I'm just like
Traci Kanaan (37:42):
the one thing that you can do, I bungee cords work,
yeah, if you want them to zapthem back, yeah, with the
cutting it, there's a loose end,and you want to reconnect that
to you, okay. But I mean, if youwant to have some bungees that
snap them back and then somethat you cut, yeah, and
reconnect to you. It's all good.Okay, so go ahead and string by
(38:05):
string, memory by memory. Takeall the time you need to either
bungee, zap them or cut thatcord. And you can cut that cord
in the most spectacular, amazingway possible. I've seen people
with fiskers. Scissors, becausethey're really sharp. I've seen
machetes, knives, pocket knives,sledge matics, whatever, however
(38:33):
you want to annihilate, breakthat connection and reattach the
loose end to yourself,
Skylar Calico (38:56):
and they have gone off like Fucking wildfire.
People love just saying I'mlike, happy little tree. So
there's a single little mistake.Oh, it's fine. Just channeling
my inner Bob Ross,
Traci Kanaan (39:11):
happy trees. Happy little trees. Awesome. What else
could I help you with? I feellike we I feel like we did just
like, a tune up.
Skylar Calico (39:20):
Yeah, I feel like that was a good tune up, though,
awesome, yeah, because now Ican't think of anything like, Oh
no, I don't have enoughproblems. Tracy, you fixed me
too good. How dare you
Traci Kanaan (39:34):
keep the love bomb? No bombing, as one does.
It sounds like a Pokemon Hypnobomb. Do they do their Yeah, and
one does as one does. And onedoes, you can you can get no
love, Bobby,
Skylar Calico (39:48):
I'm working. That's not the title of this
Hypno love bombing as one does.Alright?
Music, none of what happens on this podcast is
planned in advance. My guests,my clients, are real people with
incredible stories. They aregraciously sharing their
hypnosis session and theirhealing journey with you the
listener, you will experiencefirsthand, their highs, their
(00:26):
lows, and their laps. And wehave Skyler back. It's been like
a year, okay, and, and just soyou know, we haven't done like
sessions in between. Everysession we've done with Skyler
has been on the episode here inso I'm just going to review.
Okay, alright. First of all,welcome to the hilarious
(00:47):
hypnotist. I always do shit outof order, because that's how I
roll. Um, so welcome to the outof order hilarious hypnotist,
but you will be seeing her inorder. Um, because a year ago
was our first session, and and Imet Skylar. It was Thanksgiving,
and you could just tell she was,like, tweaked, bitter, angry and
(01:09):
and maybe worse than now,definitely so anyhow. And then,
like, between that session, andthen I think we did one in April
of 2024 you had ended up, inthat span of time earning more
money in like, the last monththan you did the whole year
(01:30):
prior.
Skylar Calico (01:31):
Yeah, and I ended up, like, really, like, like,
your career just took offbecause let go of all the
bitterness and all theeverything, and then just like,
be like, I'm focusing on mycareer, and I'm like, happy
doing it, because I literally dosocial media for a living, and
I'm a content creator, yeah. Anda lot of times it's like, funny
shit and like, when you're not amiserable person, people like
(01:53):
watching that a lot more, yeah.
Traci Kanaan (01:56):
So it's really been cool for me to just see
this person just bloom and justYeah, take advantage of all
these opportunities
Skylar Calico (02:06):
four times what I made then, wow. So it's just
been like this, up and up and upand up and up, wow, yeah,
Traci Kanaan (02:15):
I used to say my icy comedy heart, but it is for
hypnosis. Now. What's today?Two, 625, all right, so however,
you didn't come back here justto tell me that things are
amazing, but I had to start withthat, because that that's what I
(02:39):
live for.
Skylar Calico (02:40):
You know, everything we've worked on has
worked. It's just like, lifehappens. Yeah, you know, like,
it's not like, it's like, oh,well, we didn't get to this
enough. It's just like, No,people kind of suck still.
Yeah, I can't control whether ornot people, I can't stop other
people from people who suck as
Traci Kanaan (02:59):
much as I try. And if I could, I Yeah, alright. So
any other updates you want togive before you go into the what
you're here for today? Because Idon't even know other than,
Skylar Calico (03:14):
other than, like, the brief summary I gave you the
other day, yeah, um, I don'tthink like, I'm traveling the
country.
Traci Kanaan (03:23):
You went to the avian awards. I went
Skylar Calico (03:25):
to the avian awards. I was not nominated or
anything. I just I went
Traci Kanaan (03:29):
when you got a agent. I have an
Skylar Calico (03:33):
agency. Yeah, I actually went with my agency.
And my agency is like a socialmedia management agency. It's
not like talent agency, so it'svery different, and I'm very
glad that I went with a socialmedia agency over a talent
agency, just at AVN, forexample, because, like, the
talent agents, like, are like,holding their girls there, and
(03:54):
they're like, No, you have atime slot. You have to be here.
Well, like, I'm watching thisone girl cry. I'm like, That.
That seems a little traffic,yeah, but, uh, my agent's like,
Come goes, you, please. I don'tcare. I don't have any of you.
Like you're just here of yourown volition. And it's pretty
much like my agent works for meinstead I work for my agents.
Okay, pretty nice.
Traci Kanaan (04:14):
Awesome. So you got the social media and now, is
this the one that Danny?
Skylar Calico (04:18):
Danny Daniels, yeah, turns it on to Yeah. Danny
Daniels, I described her as,like my trans mom the other day,
and she like, she loved it.
Traci Kanaan (04:28):
Oh, awesome. Yeah. All right. So, Danny Daniels, if
you haven't seen Danny Daniels,check her out. An amazing trans
performer.
Skylar Calico (04:38):
Oh, my God, I actually did a scene with Danny.
Oh,
Traci Kanaan (04:41):
cool. Well, don't check her out at work. No, not
suitable. Not Safe For Work. Isit Danny with two ends or one
Skylar Calico (04:48):
end? 1n, d, a n, i, d, a n, I, E, L,
Traci Kanaan (04:52):
S, and then x, x, x.com, or something like that.
Yeah. They're, they're
Skylar Calico (04:57):
like, Danny's a cam model. Mostly, but you can
find old scenes, and they havean O,
Traci Kanaan (05:03):
F and everything. So props to Danny. Did a scene
with Danny. Did a scene with
Skylar Calico (05:06):
Danny and Aubrey Kate, which is pretty cool. Um,
but no, Danny. Like, basically,when I was at Paradise, at the
clubhouse, and I walk up, andwe've been filming all day, and
I'm just exhausted. I am, like,run through because I'm managing
everything on my own too. Solike, if I took a day off to
film, suddenly everything elsewould fall apart, and then I
knew I had six times as muchwork the next day to do, because
(05:28):
I had, like, done the stuff thatI need to do still. But like, I
had taken time off from, like,sitting in front of a computer.
She goes, Do you have an agent?And I was like, No, I didn't
know. Here she got Matt on thephone. Who's, who's my agent
here, call him, talk to Matt.Okay, I talked to Matt. And
Matt's like, hey, so we can doas much or as little as you
(05:49):
want. And I was like, fuckingperfect. Like, I want so much
control. It's not even funny.Like, I want you guys doing the
bare minimum. But I want, Ilike, because every other agent
I talk to, we're going to takeover all of your social media,
all of your paid sites, all ofyour everything. And I'm like,
no, no, I just need a little bitof help with, like, the basic
(06:11):
questions that just consumetime. Yeah, right. The Hey, can
I get this? Hey, can I get that?The plug and play stuff like,
that's all I need you guys todo. I don't want you like, you
know, chatting individually withpeople. I want you just doing
plug and play
Traci Kanaan (06:26):
nice so and just to put this all in perspective,
I feel like our session a yearago was like, if I could just
enjoy a burger. Yeah,
Skylar Calico (06:39):
I could just enjoy, I did enjoy a burger I
had. I had some kind of baklavashit this morning. That was
great.
Traci Kanaan (06:47):
We've gone from earning six times as much money
as we did a year ago, if I
Skylar Calico (06:52):
could just enjoy a burger, and if black beans
didn't scare the now, like, waymore tattooed, and, like,
successful and, yeah, it's
Traci Kanaan (07:04):
weird. So awesome. Okay,
Skylar Calico (07:06):
so sorry. I kind of went on a weird tangent
Traci Kanaan (07:10):
there, because it shows, it shows how far you've
come. And sometimes you getcaught up in the moment of life,
yeah, and you don't sit thereyou think, you know, a year ago,
I was grossed out by blackbeans, yeah, oh my god.
Skylar Calico (07:24):
Watch our original like, rewatch our
original session, just so thatway I could, like, put
everything yeah
Traci Kanaan (07:31):
for myself again. Okay, so now you have new
challenges coming up, yes, if Iremember correct, you had had or
have scheduled
Skylar Calico (07:41):
boob lift. I ended up rescheduling that I was
supposed to have my consultationon Monday. And I was like, you
know, I've got some, like,mental health stuff that I'm
working on. And when you get abreast lift, you have to, you
can't lift over 10 pounds forsix months, right? And you can't
work out and everything else.And I'm a very active person,
(08:02):
and so I'm like, let me, like,work on my mental health before
I lose this very, very importantcoping skill that I have, yeah?
Because otherwise I'm just, I'mgonna go crazy.
Traci Kanaan (08:12):
Alright, so six months, yeah, uh, 10 pounds or
less. Mm, hmm, no, working outlike I can't even
Skylar Calico (08:21):
lift my cat. She's 12 pounds. She's gonna be
so mad at me if I can't dancewith her in the kitchen. No
Traci Kanaan (08:28):
cat lifting and and this is I can't even stress
enough that don't fuck withthis. Yeah, because I had a
girlfriend who didn't fuckinglisten and then blew it, yeah,
and and did some damage toherself. So, yeah,
Skylar Calico (08:45):
I have a, I have a friend who, she's like, Oh my
God. Like, rest, like, I got itdone absolutely there you're
gonna be like, No, I'm being sounproductive. I'm like, oh god.
So, like, there's a lot ofthings. I'm like, I just wanna
work on. Okay,
Traci Kanaan (08:58):
so mental health rescheduled the boob lift for
six months, right? Yeah, yourescheduled it for six months
out.
Skylar Calico (09:06):
I haven't officially rescheduled. I was
like, let's, let's, like, wait,you know, okay, and if I can get
cleared up in less than sixmonths. But I'm like, Yeah, I'm
doing really good in less thansix months, then yeah, We'll
reschedule. Get it done, andthey really just need two weeks
warning. Okay?
Traci Kanaan (09:24):
And then you said your mom, like, said something
to you, like, she knew you werecoming in here too. Oh, so no
contact with my parents. So nocontact with parents for a lot
Skylar Calico (09:38):
of reasons, some of them political, some of them,
whatever, mostly like a lot ofwhat I do for a job is about
media literacy and, you know,fact checking and everything
else. I always look for a left,a right and a middle and
everything else before I evermake any comments on anything
like you, make sure that yoursources is right. Right, okay,
Traci Kanaan (10:02):
my dad is
Skylar Calico (10:05):
drinking the fucking kool aid on a lot of
things and not fact checkinganything. It's causing a lot of
strife within my familythemselves, but more
importantly, my uncle has stagefour fucking cancer, right? My
uncle was down for probably thelast time, like, down here in
Florida. He lives inMassachusetts, and he was
supposed to be down, like, aweek before I went to AVN, so I
(10:27):
called them, and I was like,hey, what day is he arriving?
They're like, my mom's like, Idon't know. You gotta talk to
your father. I'm like, okay, heydad, what day is he right? Oh,
we don't know. Fucking hell. Um,my dad is a chronic alcoholic.
Okay? He used to be one of themost intelligent men I ever
(10:48):
knew.
Traci Kanaan (10:49):
Um,
Skylar Calico (10:52):
and now it's, it's hard to listen to him talk,
okay, and he sees no problemwith it. I understand that. I'm
going to have to, like,basically say goodbye to him in
liver failure, anyway. So myuncle, sorry again, I haven't
taken 80 minutes. Um, okay, butwe're kind of all over the
place, um, so my uncle came downfinally and I we were sick when
(11:20):
we first got back from Vegas, aswe are every single time. And so
I called my dad the day before,and I was like, hey, Rob's been
clear of symptoms. And I've beenclear of symptoms for, you know,
a little bit of time. We'll be24 hours clean tomorrow. Can I
please see my uncle? Like I'mgoing to stop by. And he's like,
yeah, totally blah, blah. Ithink, okay, we squared this
(11:41):
away. So I call him on my wayover,
um, the next day, he goes, Oh,we're in clear water drinking at
11 o'clock in the morning.
I go, Well, I really wanted tosee my uncle. Oh, well, I don't
know. He leaves Friday, and I'mlike, Yeah, Dad, I have a life.
(12:03):
I have things going on that meanthat this was my day, that I
could see him, yeah,potentially, before he dies, and
he just can't. Then I'm like,okay, and he goes, Well, you
should have called me before toremind me. I'm like, I called
you yesterday. I called you onmy way. How much more reminder
(12:26):
Am I capable? Like, not evenjust, like, do you want? Um, and
you know, he's like, Well, blah,blah. And I'm like, Yeah, don't
worry. I won't be asking you foranything ever again. I won't be
reaching out again. And I just,and I've had all the trauma with
my mother in the past, and the,you know, their parents are
(12:48):
still together, right? Myparents are still together, and
they are in this wonderful,narcissistic, co dependent
relationship where my mother's anarcissist, like, diagnosed,
like, I don't throw this wordaround willy nilly, where, like,
you know, like, some people arelike, Oh, my God, that's so
narcissistic. Of you know, mymother literally is a diagnosed
narcissist, and my dad is a Btype submissive personality who
(13:11):
is incredibly co dependent onher. So it's, it's a wonderful
thing, okay,
Traci Kanaan (13:18):
all right, and so
Skylar Calico (13:21):
both I know. Alright, so you didn't see it,
yeah, we're literally lookingat, I'm trying to orchestrate
with my grandmother, who's up inMassachusetts too. I may have to
go fly up there now because,like, I'd be damned, and I got
the money to fucking do it. Iwill. Yeah, you know, as much as
I really don't want to go backto my hometown,
Unknown (13:41):
yeah, the fuck we are okay.
Traci Kanaan (13:46):
So you didn't get to see him, so you're gonna have
to fly to see him. So maybe itwas actually the way it was
supposed to work out. Yeah? So
Skylar Calico (13:54):
I'm not really mad about that. It's like all
the other shit as well with myparents. It's just like
accumulating, accumulating,accumulating, accumulating, and
finally, like, this was kind ofthe the straw that broke the
camel's back that I was like,You know what? You guys really
don't add value to my life, andthey only call me when they need
something. You know? They onlycall me when they're like, hey,
(14:15):
our dog sitters out of town. Canyou let the dogs out? I'm like,
oh, so me for having a wife, youknow, or like, half the time I'm
not even in state, like, I'm,you know, you know how much I
try we travel. Yeah, they'rejust out of touch with your
life. They're out of touch withmy life. And then, like, if
you're not able to helpthemselves, Well, I just, I
(14:36):
struggled for so long with you,and I just worked so hard. And
I'm like, that's I'm 27 yearsold. How much are you going to
cry about when I was four?
Traci Kanaan (14:46):
Yeah, but that's the narcissistic way,
Skylar Calico (14:48):
yeah. Like, I always use the example of, like,
dare
Traci Kanaan (14:51):
you not structure your whole world around me. I
was
Skylar Calico (14:55):
just an example of, like, my mom does not clean
the house at all. She does notclean she doesn't. Do laundry.
She does not. She barely cooksanymore. But like, you know, if
she had her way, she would donone of these things, and does
the bare minimum. Like, you goover that house and the sink is
so full of dishes and food, andthere's the I like, I'm always
wiping down the counters whenI'm over there, and everything
(15:16):
else. It's just dirty. It's amillion dollar house and
everything else. Um, I justremember her folding this towel
one time, like a singular towel,because she needed to pack for a
cruise she was going on orsomething, and she Oh, look at
me. I slave away. Like,literally, like, I slave away,
poor me. Woe is me. Like, Ithink that's the first how you
(15:41):
folded in a year. Okay, stand ifyou're like, Yeah, I have three
small children, and I have tochase them all day, and I have
to do this, and I have to dothat, and like, I cook and I
clean and I slave away and I goto work, and I do this like she
(16:02):
spent the last like, 10 yearsgetting her master's degree.
Didn't work, lived off of my dadfor all that. Yeah, she had
scholarships and everythingelse, but, like, he paid for
everything, like, with thehouse, blah, blah, took her time
getting her master's degree,yada yada yada. And then like,
was like, oh, I want a career,because I've never had a career
(16:24):
because she was a dependent.
It's I slave away, and I'm like,Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (16:33):
okay, so what, what can I help you with?
Skylar Calico (16:37):
Is it the triggers? It's the triggers, and
it's also like, so I basicallycame to terms with the fact that
my family is dead to me. Okay. Iwant to come to terms with the
fact that my family is dead,dead to me. You know, like, I
want to not, like, miss them somuch. I want to not. I want to
be okay with the fact that, likeevery mental health professional
(16:58):
I've gone to, every singleperson in my life is like, dude,
cut your family off. Okay? Youknow this isn't just like, my
friends being like, Oh, my God,you shouldn't talk to them
anymore. Like, no. Like, mentalhealth professionals are like,
No, this is an extremely toxicrelationship in your life. You
need to cut your family off.Okay? How do I become more okay
with that? Because, like, partof me is like, I just, I could,
(17:18):
I could always, I could, just Icould. I could reach out. I
could. I could just call them. Icould, I'm a bad daughter,
because I'm not there for themconstantly. I'm not like they
called and I didn't answer andnow they're mad at me.
Okay, like guilt.
Traci Kanaan (17:35):
Okay, so what are the reasons to cut your family
off all right? Toxic, yeah,actually, you gave me those
reasons. What are the reasons tostay in touch? They're my
family. Okay?
Skylar Calico (17:53):
I have a 16 year old autistic brother, that's
right, yeah, who is not greatabout answering his phone, and I
don't want to lose him, becausehe and I are practically twins.
Okay? We are two peas in afucking pod, and he is, he is
the the man of my life. Like,like, if it comes between my
(18:18):
brother and anyone else, it's
Traci Kanaan (18:20):
my brother, alright? So, because they're my
family, the 16 year old brother,two peas in a pod, why else keep
in touch with them? I couldn't,honestly, like, there's no okay,
alright. So what happens if youcut them off.
Skylar Calico (18:42):
So the problem is, my mother does this fawning
thing. So that's like, why shecalled me last night. She's, oh,
I was thinking we could getlunch tomorrow or something. I'm
like, wow, you've never invitedme out to lunch ever in my life.
Right the minute that I like,set boundaries. It's well, like
you, but like, I'm, look at,look at how great I am. I'm I'm
(19:04):
trying, and they do this just alove bombing thing, and the
like, the fawning, and like, allsudden, she's like, Here, here's
a thing that you like here,here's and I'm like, I'm not, I
don't even really like thatthing anymore. That was cool
when I was like, 14, yeah.
Traci Kanaan (19:18):
But lunch tomorrow, set boundaries
Skylar Calico (19:21):
when you set boundaries, when I set
boundaries, she almost fawns andshe love bombs and does the
like, oh, fuck, I've been caughtnow I have to, like, suck up
really hard. And I'm like, Idon't want you to do that. I
just want you to respect theboundary. And if we were to
ever, you know, have arelationship in the future, like
(19:43):
respect the boundary. Let me dothe healing, let me do the work
on myself. Okay? And then let mecome to you that that would be
ideal, because, like, she'sstill my mom. You know, as much,
as much as she is terrible, Istill. To crave intrinsically as
(20:04):
a daughter does, to have arelationship with her as one
does. I don't know why, as onedoes is just my phrase for
today, but I've said it probablyseven times, and I've only been
awake for an hour. That's allgood.
Traci Kanaan (20:18):
She's still my mom, and I crave that
relationship as one does, as onedoes, you're literally, Oh,
yeah. Everything you say, Canwill be used again, alright, as
one does, this one does, that'sone hit. It just does. See,
Skylar Calico (20:43):
you're gonna start using it though, this one
does,
Traci Kanaan (20:46):
alright, so there is, there's the gotcha, yeah?
Okay, um, I know they're toxic,but they're my family. Yeah, I
know they're crazy, but I don'twant to lose touch with my
brother. Is it possible youwould lose touch with your
(21:07):
brother if you cut them off?
Skylar Calico (21:10):
Yeah? Like they've always said, I can still
have a contact with my brother.The problem is, my brother's
really bad answering his phone.Okay? And he's really unreliable
on his own. Okay, so he's
high functioning, like, I sayhe's autistic, and people are
like, Oh, we picture, you know,I'm like, no, no. Like, he's,
he's high functioning, just painin my ass.
(21:32):
That's, that's the
Traci Kanaan (21:33):
gist of it. Okay, so he's unreliable. So if you
call him five times, how manytimes will he answer?
Skylar Calico (21:41):
Probably none of them. I'll get a Snapchat later
if he remembers. Okay, yougotta, like, just barely catch
him in that one. Like, most ofthe time I would go through my
parents to have contact withthem.
Traci Kanaan (21:54):
Okay, all right, so how if you were to cut off
your family? How would you feel?
Skylar Calico (22:05):
How would I like to feel? Or how would I feel?
How
Traci Kanaan (22:07):
would you like to feel?
Skylar Calico (22:09):
I would like to feel relief. I would like to
feel control,
you know, in control of ofmyself, in control of the
situation, I would like to feelindependent. Okay? You know,
like, when you break up with abad boyfriend, you're like, I'm
(22:31):
a trap bitch. I don't needanyone. And you're going out
with your girlfriends and like,that's the feeling I want, okay?
Traci Kanaan (22:36):
And then when you've tried to set boundaries,
and it doesn't work, what'shappened in the past. It's
Skylar Calico (22:41):
a lot of the fawning. It's a lot of the like,
Please come back. I love you.I'm like, again. It reminds me
of just like a breakup, andthey're like, but I love you,
and you're like, that's greatfor you. So fawning and guilt,
it's the fawning and guilt, it'sthe it's a lot of the like, but
you're still our daughter. Like,you're supposed to blah,
blah, blah, and I'm like, andyou cut off your mom because she
(23:07):
wasn't the first narcissist. Myword was worse,
Traci Kanaan (23:09):
okay, all right, but you're still our daughter.
All right, the relief, like
Skylar Calico (23:16):
you still owe us. We did so much. You did. We did
so much for you when you wereyounger, like we we sacrificed
so much for you. And I'm like,Uh huh, send me a bill. Send me
an invoice. I will pay it if itmeans that I no longer have to
deal with these fucking guilttrips.
Traci Kanaan (23:33):
Yeah, but that won't it. Won't know
Skylar Calico (23:37):
that's the point that I'm at. We're like, just
send me a fucking invoice sothat I can pay it, and we can be
done with this, whether it's anemotional invoice or a financial
one. Okay,
Traci Kanaan (23:47):
all right, so here we go. Let's think about all
this. All right, you have thisrelationship with your parents,
and it's just an ongoing deal,you know, Father, yeah, I get
the
Skylar Calico (24:00):
glimmer of positive and then your father's
Traci Kanaan (24:04):
chronic alcoholic, narcissistic relationship with
the parents you have a B typedad and an A type mom, after
calling every day to see youruncle with stage four cancer,
Who was down in Florida for thelast time. They didn't really
(24:27):
make a time for you to meet withhim, and so now you have to fly
to see
Skylar Calico (24:31):
him. Well, they did, and then they went, Oh, we
forgot. Oh yeah, yeah, that thatwas part. It wasn't the like, he
didn't make a time that wouldhave been okay. It was it was
the oh, well, you should havereminded me okay.
Traci Kanaan (24:44):
And your mom was folding towels for the first
time in forever. I slave away,and then she spent 10 years
getting her masters because shewanted a career. Um, I wrote
down my family is dead to me. I.Not, oh, sorry. I don't want to
miss them. Cut my family off. Ihang in there because they're my
(25:08):
family, and for my 16 year oldautistic brother, when I set
boundaries, I get all thisfawning and love bombing like,
oh, fuck, I've been caught at mygame. She's still my mom, but I
want to feel relief, control,independent, like I'm the bad
(25:30):
bitch that I broke up with thistoxic relationship. Does that
sound about right? Okay? Andwhen you hear these words back
at you, what do you sense? Whichpart, any of them, just a
general, especially, like, the
Skylar Calico (25:48):
the ending part with the, like, when we started
getting into the, you know, whyI want to separate, blah, blah,
like, battle, I was like, yes,yes, absolutely. Like, that's
all I do. I want to have this,like, Independence feeling and
this, like breaking away and youknow, I'm my partner has, you
know, his parents are dead, andI'm kind of fucking jealous.
(26:11):
Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (26:12):
I saw that post. I saw that post on Facebook where
you said I didn't want to meetyour parents, and he takes you
to clear to be actually buried
Skylar Calico (26:20):
him a statue off the coast of Clearwater Beach.
Traci Kanaan (26:23):
Yeah. I was like, wow. Okay, wow. He
Skylar Calico (26:27):
was totally okay. He was like, That's fucking
hilarious. Like so many peoplewere like, you're not supposed
to make those jokes when yourpartner has a dead parent. And
I'm like, No, you don'tunderstand. He wrote the fucking
joke like he's the one who wrotethe joke. And I said, if I film
this, are you okay with it? Andif I posted, you went, hell yes,
yeah,
Traci Kanaan (26:44):
buried in a statue. I was like, Alright, I
guess we all go our differentways. Okay, so go ahead and
close your eyes, and I want youto think about this relationship
with your parents, and there'sgood and bad. We've talked about
(27:07):
various aspects of it over theyear, alright, and in your body
somewhere, you feel when youthink of your mom and your dad,
their dad's an alcoholic. Mom'sa narcissist. Where do you
experience this? In your body,somewhere between your head and
(27:30):
your toes, there's going to be asense of family right here,
okay, in your gut,
Skylar Calico (27:36):
kind of like a diaphragm, okay, I'm trying not
to gesture to the boobs. So, youknow, we're trying to keep it
relatively busy. Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (27:49):
we never mark this for kids. Don't worry.
Skylar Calico (27:55):
Oh, like, like, right, okay, so in your like,
the heart chakra, kind of,
Traci Kanaan (27:59):
okay, that makes total sense to me. But even that
you mentioned the the gut alittle bit. So it's gut is
control, and then heart is love,alright, so go ahead and focus
on that and think of what coloris this feeling, what color, if
(28:22):
you were to give it a color thatrepresents your parents and the
relationship with your parents.What would that be like? A
yellow orange, a yellow orange,okay, is it hard, or is it soft?
Like texture one, yeah, um,trust your first impressions,
kind of liquidy, liquidy. It'slike, like an amorphous blob, an
(28:46):
amorphous blob, yellow, orange,amorphous
Skylar Calico (28:50):
like a Topaz color, amorphous blob. Yeah,
Traci Kanaan (28:54):
alright. And, and it moves around, doesn't it?
Okay? So does it always stay inthat general location, or does
it move to other parts of yourbody? It
Skylar Calico (29:05):
can move like, forward and
back, like, from the front tothe back, but it doesn't really
go up or down.
Traci Kanaan (29:12):
Okay, so it moves front and back.
Skylar Calico (29:15):
Like, sometimes I'll feel it more in my back,
sometimes I'll feel it more inmy like, stomach area.
Traci Kanaan (29:19):
And is this a feeling that you want to keep in
any way, shape or form. I waslike, no, okay, all right, why?
I mean, I
Skylar Calico (29:28):
like the color, I like, I like having access to,
like, the heart and the stomachand stuff like that. But, but
that, that lump that's sittingthere, like, blocking
everything, yeah,
Traci Kanaan (29:37):
alright, so let's take that lump out. Okay, that
yellow, orange, amorphousliquid. Go ahead and just, if
you want to, like, put a strawand then let it drain.
Unknown (29:50):
Sectioning,
Traci Kanaan (29:53):
I'm not, I'm good, but I'm not that lipo sectioning
the damn Yeah, but it just. Thatorange, yellow, whatever it is.
That's your family relationship.You don't want to keep it right?
So let's get it out. Okay, allright. So imagine however you
take this out. Maybe the hole inthe liposuction was a bad
Skylar Calico (30:13):
enough you said, you said straw. So I'm just
picturing somebody with, like, agiant, like, syringe, and then
just, like, get creative.
Traci Kanaan (30:20):
I don't care. I just don't want that idiot,
right? I don't give a fuck howit looks out. It just, it's not
doing you any good sittingthere. But if you're reluctant
to get rid of it, what's thatabout? Like, oh, like, I, if I
get rid of this, then my parentsare gone. And so there's that.
(30:44):
Yeah, okay, so let's get busy. Ayear
Skylar Calico (30:46):
ago, yes, now I'm just like, Y'all dragged me
down.
Traci Kanaan (30:50):
Yeah, right, alright. So get rid of that
orange, yellow, amorphous liquidthat's in there. Yuck, right?
Just,
Unknown (31:01):
am I okay? Do
Traci Kanaan (31:04):
it, do it, do it, do it, alright. It's gotta come
out because it's stuck, right?And the more it's stuck, the
more it stays there, and thenthe more it does, like damage
and stuff, alright. So, and itit, you know, stuck energy ruins
your body, alright. So that'swhy it's got to go, alright. And
when you feel it's out, you'reprobably not done. Just get it
(31:27):
out. Get it out. All right,check back in. What do you
experience now in that space,like, space like, it's not
Skylar Calico (31:38):
cluttered, it's like everything's kind of like
shifting into where it
Traci Kanaan (31:42):
should be, yeah, alright. Is that a good feeling?
Yeah, okay. It's like not beingbloated. Good, alright. So now,
somewhere out in space there isa relationship that you enjoy.
Okay, okay, imagine thisrelationship, and maybe it's and
(32:09):
it can be relationships that youenjoy. So it could be your guy,
it could be m, who we've talkedabout before. So go ahead and
hold that relationship in yourhand and think about what you
love about these relationships,like these people support you.
(32:31):
It's not always all about them,right? They love bomb you, but
it's sincere, but they'll alsotell you when you're fucking up,
but in a loving way, right?Okay, how does this feel when
you look at this relationshipcompared to the yellow, orange,
amorphous? Well, a light purple.I like purple, and it's glowy,
(32:57):
glowy, Perfect, alright, so holdthat in your hands, and that
light purple, and go ahead andgive it a spin, and it's going
to spin in a way that feels goodfor you. Okay. So that spin that
means that there's more peoplein your life that give you that
all right. There's people thatsupport you and love you just as
(33:18):
you are. Okay? You got that keepspinning. It should be growing
all right? Because you're goingto meet more people. When you
set your frequency to this,you're going to start to attract
people with that same dynamic,right? And when you're ready, go
ahead and take that glow purpleand put it in your heart solar
(33:40):
plexus area and notice whathappens?
Doesn't that feel better? Yeah,doesn't that feel better? Okay?
So that's something you can do.You. Let's just call it that
purple glow feeling all right.And these are all pro Skyler
(34:00):
people put it right in there.All right, so now let's test our
work. That yellow, orange,amorphous blob is knocking on
the Skyler door. What do you do?
Skylar Calico (34:17):
It's on the floor. It's just a ball of fat.
Like, that's all I'm picturing.Have you ever seen fat outside
of the body when they take itout? Like, that's just yep, yep,
all right. It makes that soundtoo but, but now
Traci Kanaan (34:30):
it's saying, Hey, I love you. I love I'm the
yellow, orange, amorphous blobthat loves you. What do you
experience?
Skylar Calico (34:38):
I don't need a yellow more of a more amorphous,
blah, but I have yellow, orange,amorphous.
Traci Kanaan (34:50):
Good, alright, so can, let's set up like a
protection, um, you can takethis yellow, I'm sorry, purple.
All the glow purple. Take alittle piece of it, and I want
you to maybe make an imaginaryring or a necklace or a bracelet
(35:12):
out of that purple glowmaterial, and it protects you
from that yellow, orangeamorphous block from getting
back in. Oh, there you go, addedas a charm there, yes, okay, and
what, what shape is it?
Skylar Calico (35:30):
Um, I just pictured like a little like
glowing star, like fall,
Traci Kanaan (35:34):
perfect. So you have the glowing star there,
alright, and now it's protectingyou. And so now the yellow,
orange, amorphous blob said,Hey, I really, really love you.
We should go get lunch. No,
Skylar Calico (35:52):
like I'm literally picturing it as
Calcifer from House movingCastle's Moving Castle
Traci Kanaan (35:57):
like that.
Unknown (35:59):
A little charm,
Traci Kanaan (36:01):
all right, and is it working? Yeah, okay, all
right, I'm trying to just createall these different scenarios.
Can you pull a sense of reliefand control from that purple
glowing star? Yeah? Okay, howabout that independent bad
bitch? Yeah.
Skylar Calico (36:23):
But I don't have to be this this. Have the people
that support me like I alwaysforget that. I have people that
love me and support me. I'm justlike, Ah, now I'm alone, and I'm
not alone.
Traci Kanaan (36:35):
You're not alone, you're not alone. Um, okay, so
now we're going to do one morething we have that protecting
you, just to check our bases. Goahead and close your eyes, and I
want you to imagine that yourparents are here in spirit, not
(36:57):
dead, but just their theirspirit is here, and there are
these cords that connect you,okay. And these cords represent
emotional, physical, spirit,okay. And some of the cords are
really good, and some of themsuck, alright, what I want you
(37:21):
to do is imagine cutting thecrappy cords that connect you.
Skylar Calico (37:27):
Is it wrong that I immediately pictured bungee
cords where you, like, unhookthem and then they snap towards
you?
Traci Kanaan (37:34):
Let's review. There's no way to do this wrong,
okay?
Unknown (37:39):
Like, I'm just like
Traci Kanaan (37:42):
the one thing that you can do, I bungee cords work,
yeah, if you want them to zapthem back, yeah, with the
cutting it, there's a loose end,and you want to reconnect that
to you, okay. But I mean, if youwant to have some bungees that
snap them back and then somethat you cut, yeah, and
reconnect to you. It's all good.Okay, so go ahead and string by
(38:05):
string, memory by memory. Takeall the time you need to either
bungee, zap them or cut thatcord. And you can cut that cord
in the most spectacular, amazingway possible. I've seen people
with fiskers. Scissors, becausethey're really sharp. I've seen
machetes, knives, pocket knives,sledge matics, whatever, however
(38:33):
you want to annihilate, breakthat connection and reattach the
loose end to yourself,
Skylar Calico (38:56):
and they have gone off like Fucking wildfire.
People love just saying I'mlike, happy little tree. So
there's a single little mistake.Oh, it's fine. Just channeling
my inner Bob Ross,
Traci Kanaan (39:11):
happy trees. Happy little trees. Awesome. What else
could I help you with? I feellike we I feel like we did just
like, a tune up.
Skylar Calico (39:20):
Yeah, I feel like that was a good tune up, though,
awesome, yeah, because now Ican't think of anything like, Oh
no, I don't have enoughproblems. Tracy, you fixed me
too good. How dare you
Traci Kanaan (39:34):
keep the love bomb? No bombing, as one does.
It sounds like a Pokemon Hypnobomb. Do they do their Yeah, and
one does as one does. And onedoes, you can you can get no
love, Bobby,
Skylar Calico (39:48):
I'm working. That's not the title of this
Hypno love bombing as one does.Alright?
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