Hypnosis to Learn From Previous Social Regrets

Adam works with a client to help them learn from previous social regrets where, with hindsight, they didn't do it as they wanted to. Adam helps them take the director's chair to replay and refine the moment until they feel it was as they wanted it to be, and then feel empowered to apply those lessons in future social situations.

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Episode Transcript

(00:05):
Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
genuine. Issues.
Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and

(00:31):
enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
Hi, it's Adam here and you're about to listen to a hypnosis
session all about changing social behaviour.
And I was working with a client that felt that they couldn't
really pick up on certain cues and respond in the way that they

(00:54):
would want in certain social situations.
And sometimes that made them feel that they weren't living up
to who the person that they wanted to be, and maybe they
would disappoint people they care about around them.
So this uses the control room ofthe mind metaphor, but in a
specific way. It's a form of control room of
the mind plus stage disassociation and partly the

(01:17):
rewind technique as well, so that this client could see
behaviour they either regretted or were embarrassed by, and then
they could keep rewinding and changing it until they were
happy with it and then associateinto that resourceful feeling.
So they could really wire it in and feel that way.
But then also to experiment withthe idea of having this ability

(01:38):
to evaluate pitfalls, but also easy wins in real time.
And again, that's all within this control room.
So if you've ever had situationswhere you felt that you
embarrassed yourself in social situations or you didn't speak
up as much as you wanted, or youwanted to be a bit more
confident and not so people pleasing, you might get some

(01:59):
value from this session. Just be aware that some of the
suggestions are very, very connected to the client that I
was working with and that might not be relevant for you.
They wanted to be more supportive and and encouraging
and protective. It might be that you want
something else. Maybe you just want more
confidence or you want more playfulness in certain social

(02:21):
situations, in which case you can just change and adapt that
for you. And if you like the idea of a
bespoke session entirely calibrated for you, have a look
in the description for a link where we can have a free 30
minute consultation call. We'll have a chat and maybe I
actually end up working with youdirectly and and I become your
hypnotherapist. For now though, find a quiet,

(02:43):
comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.
Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as

(03:14):
you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
relaxation. And as you exhale, feel a
wonderful sense of release, as if any tension, stress, or
worries are leaving your body inyour outward breath.

(03:40):
And when you breathe in, just allow yourself to breathe in for
slightly deeper than you normally would.
And as you exhale, you can elongate the outward breath,
breathing out maybe for twice aslong as you normally would.

(04:04):
And as you create that vacuum inthe diaphragm, you're able to
breathe in even deeper than you were before, each breath getting
deeper than the last. But I want you to imagine
breathing in a feeling of pure resourcefulness, breathing in

(04:31):
the resourcefulness and exhalingany feelings of lack, of not
being good enough. Just allow that so each breath
makes you feel more worthy and more confident than the last.

(04:56):
The deeper you breathe, the morerelaxed you become, and the more
relaxed you become, the deeper you breathe.
And as your body relaxes, your imagination awakens.
And I wonder if you could imagine a staircase that leads

(05:18):
down to a room, and that room isa control panel for your mind.
Let's just walk down this staircase, any staircase you
like, a spiral staircase, a wooden staircase, or perhaps an

(05:41):
opulent marble staircase leadingdown to this control room.
And as I count downwards from 12:50, each descending number
takes you deeper and deeper relaxed. 10 Taking that first

(06:01):
step, just feeling a wave of relaxation from your forehead. 9
loosening your jaw and eight, another step down the staircase.
Just feel any muscles in your neck and shoulders that might be
tense, just releasing that tension. 7 Just feel it going

(06:25):
down now into your shoulders. And then 6.
For your arms feeling limp, loose and heavy.
And five, just imagine your internal organs all relaxing now
halfway down the staircase. Four, that relaxation going into
your gut, continuing to breathe in that distilled representation

(06:49):
of worthiness that's in breathing in and breathing out.
And then that 4 becomes 3 and just feel your legs feeling like
your arms limp, loose, relaxed down into your calf muscles. 2
and then one, even your toes canfeel relaxed and then rippling

(07:11):
up to the top of your head and down to your fingertips and
zero. You are now at the bottom of
that staircase and there is a short corridor that leads to a
door, and behind that door is a control room.

(07:32):
And this control room has the ability for you to make powerful
changes to access more of those skills, resources, or abilities
that you desire and to reduce anything that you don't.

(07:55):
But standing in front of the door, I will count from 5:00 to
1:00. And imagine opening the door and
walking into that control room. And you may see a futuristic
control room, a mechanical control room.
Maybe it has dashboards and gauges or something futuristic,

(08:16):
intuitive. Just your thoughts.
Control things 5. Putting your hand on the handle
4, turning the handle 3, openingthe door, 2 walking through the
door and one closing the door behind you.
And imagine yourself in that control room and I want you to

(08:37):
see a couple of dials. I want you to see a dial for
confidence and just turn that up.
And then I want you to see a dial for people pleasing, which
may be too high, and just dial that down.
And I want you to imagine there is a comfortable chair and a big
screen. And this screen could look like

(09:01):
a cinema screen or it could looklike a high tech monitor or
perhaps a very large flat screenTV.
And this screen has the ability to not just observe memories,
but to change them with all the wisdom, knowledge and creativity

(09:24):
you now have. And I want you to think back to
a specific memory where you cameto the conclusion that your
behaviour wasn't quite right. Maybe you were not protective
enough, encouraging enough, supportive enough, or perhaps

(09:48):
something else. I want you to imagine sitting on
that chair, looking up at that screen, almost like you're
taking the viewpoint of a documentary filmmaker that
happened to be in that place at that time, and therefore you see
yourself on the screen like an actor.

(10:10):
You're simply the observer. And sometimes when you observe
yourself like you're someone else, you can distill new
insights and distinctions that were invisible at the time, and
there is no requirement to remember it perfectly.
Your unconscious will fill in the gaps in the same way that a

(10:35):
dream feels like it's real, because your imagination fills
in the gaps. That's what I want you to
imagine. There you are, seeing what
happened on the screen exactly as it was, and then perhaps it

(10:55):
continues until you found out that what you did was somehow
wrong, disrespectful, or not supportive enough, or something
else. If you could imagine seeing that
as it actually was, then play itagain from a different angle.

(11:20):
Just imagine a camera at a different place in the same
room, maybe closer, maybe further away, until you get a
clear representation of what happened and also what you would
like to change. And once you've seen it as it

(11:41):
was, let me know by nodding yourhead.
And then imagine rewinding it. But this is the control room of
your mind. You are the director here.
And I want you to imagine Take 2, see yourself doing something

(12:04):
else in that same situation thatwould have improved it, improved
it for you, improved it for yourrelationship generally, knowing
what you now know would have been a preferable version of
what happened. But Take 2 isn't enough.

(12:26):
Some of the great directors had 1020, sometimes 50 takes for the
same scene. So I want you to imagine you
keep rewinding it and playing itforward until you get exactly
the right take. Maybe it's your mannerisms,

(12:51):
maybe it's your tonality, maybe it's what you said or what you
didn't say. Maybe it's being more vocal and
supporting someone, or maybe notsaying anything and just
observing. But I want you to keep changing
the takes until you found the perfect one, and then test that

(13:17):
scenario out. Allow it to continue until you
get that vote of reassurance from someone else's
interpretation that if you did do that new thing in that same
situation, their emotional evaluation would have been

(13:42):
different. When you found like, you've got
the right version. That's good for you and good for
others at win win. Let me know by nodding your
head. That's it.
And then rewind it. And when it's at the beginning,

(14:05):
I want you to see another dial that is sensory acuity, the
ability to notice and observe what's going on.
Not just your own feelings and other people's, but maybe even
the facial expression and the cues from someone you care for.

(14:27):
You dial up the sensory acuity and you dial up your
self-confidence, people pleasingand poor boundaries.
That's dialed all the way down. You can feel confident being the
person you want to be. And when you've got all of that
right with the right level of resources, step into the screen.

(14:51):
And now just imagine it's the very beginning of what happened,
but you are now in your own body.
And from a first person perspective, I want you to feel
that you're testing out two of your favorite scenarios to come
to the conclusion which feels right, not just looks right.

(15:18):
Try that first version, see how that feels, and then try the
second and see how that feels. Just like you're trying on some
clothes in a fitting room, but you're only going to choose one.
And once you've chosen the best one and you imagine how it would

(15:39):
feel to do those things, to say those things, to be that way and
feel that way. And if it feels right, let me
know about nodding your head. That's it.
And then continue the rest. And then just see if the
anticipated feedback observations change, and if it

(16:06):
does, it's right. And if it doesn't, just go back
and make it minor tweak, a change in amendment as you
consider yourself like Goldilocks, but instead of three
bowls of porridge, you've got 30.
And you can keep trying the porridge until it's exactly the
right one for you. So when you feel like you've got

(16:30):
that updated version, I want youto feel that that is then
updating your subconscious mind so that anything similar in the
future will activate this version of you with this

(16:51):
confidence, this level of sensory acuity, and this ability
to do things on your terms in the way that you desire, but in
full consideration of someone that you care for.

(17:12):
Go back to the chair and then think of one more situation that
perhaps required you to evaluatethings in real time.
Maybe it was a large social gathering, maybe something

(17:32):
different. And again, see that on the
screen as it was. But as the observer, you could
imagine that there is additionalinformation that you can pick up
on. Things that feel safe, things
that feel reasonable and OK or easy wins.

(17:59):
Things you could do to let someone know that they are
supported, they are respected, they are protected, and I want
you to get a sense that there isa particular tone of voice and

(18:21):
that has the ability to evaluateyour options.
What can I do here? What's the pitfall?
And sometimes all it takes is toevaluate the pitfalls and avoid
them and see those low hanging fruit, those easy wins, and pick

(18:46):
them. And I wonder if that part of
your mind would be willing to coach you to look for those easy
wins and avoid those pitfalls. I just see that version of you
on that screen in that same situation.

(19:10):
We're making different choices based on what you're picking up
and what you're observing in real time.
And then rewind it, step into that version of you and feel how
it would feel to go in armed with an inner coach, a warm

(19:32):
encouraging voice, say you've got this, but it might nudge
you. You could say wonderful things
about that person to that group and it would get back to them
and they would feel honoured andsupported or.

(20:01):
That person there seems quite arrogant, quite pushy.
If that person says something rude, you could easily ask in a
very firm, respectful way, what did they mean by that?
And that would be you protectingand perceived to be protective.

(20:27):
And if you could imagine that confident, encouraging voice
guiding you in real time, let meknow by nodding your head.
And I want you to feel this is acheat code, a way for you to
have an edge. Because by training your brain

(20:49):
on the past and feeling resourceful and empowered in the
present, you get to avoid more of those pitfalls and pick more
of those low hanging fruit, those easy wins to step into

(21:10):
that feel what it would feel like in that dynamic with that
voice encouraging you, guiding you, evaluating scenarios,
things to avoid, things to be. I want you to imagine there is a
dial that represents the resources of someone that you

(21:32):
admire having those qualities. Picture their face and just
imagine dialing up their resources in you in that same
context. What it would feel like to
emulate their way of being in certain situations for you.

(21:55):
Dial that all the way up and feel how it would feel to be
that way. And if this feels like it would
be helpful, let me know. By nodding your head.
That's it. And then you return to the
chair, see the screen and now see images of your past.

(22:22):
But you having the resources youwould need.
But also see yourself in the future.
See yourself with more confidence, more sensory acuity,
just noticing what you need to notice.
But also the ability to protect.If someone needs protecting to

(22:45):
encourage, if they need encourage to support, if they
need supporting to not say anything, if it doesn't make
sense to say anything at all, because you don't have to say
something. You just could say something.
And I want you to feel that yourunconscious mind is going to

(23:08):
extract wisdom from the past andconsider anything in your future
as reconnaissance. So you just get better and
better and better. It's time to leave this control
room. But I want you to see another
dial that represents worthiness and just put that all the way up

(23:31):
to 100 that you feel absolutely worthy.
And then you leave the control room, You close the door, you
walk up that same staircase, andthen imagine floating all the
way back to your present. Very soon I will count from 1:00

(23:54):
to 10:00 to awaken you. And you will awaken feeling
resourceful, confident, worthy, with almost like a software
update to iron out the bugs of the past and install new
strategies for the future. So take a deep breath in through
your nose and out through your nose.

(24:18):
Just wiggle your fingers, wiggleyour toes, connect and calibrate
into the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
awaken you. Starting to count 123 waking up
456 more alert 7-8. Open your eyes.
Open your eyes 910 Wide awake, Wide awake.

(24:42):
Wide awake. Thank you so much for joining me
on today's episode of The Hypnotist.
And if you've enjoyed this show or got some benefit from it, you
may know of one other friend or family member that may also

(25:06):
benefit from this hypnosis session.
In which case I'd like to ask a favour of you.
And that is if you could spend 10 seconds to share this episode
with someone that you know that may also benefit, that would
really help me to access new people that don't already know
about this show. Thank you very much for

(25:27):
listening and I will see you again on the next episode.