TLP462: Overcome Your Fear of Being Seen with Linda Ugelow

Linda Ugelow is the author of “Delight in the Limelight: Overcome Your Fear of Being Seen and Realize Your Dreams.”  In this episode, Linda shares how fear often stems from past experiences, and how leaders can reframe internal narratives to demonstrate more confidence. 

She dives into the power of self-acceptance and how it shapes leadership presence, especially in high-stakes situations. Linda shares how leaders can embrace strategic vulnerability—being open without oversharing—to build trust and credibility.

If you’ve ever doubted your voice, this conversation will challenge your assumptions and offer a path forward to speak with clarity and confidence.

You can find episode 462 wherever you get your podcasts!

https://bit.ly/TLP-462

 

Key Takeaways

[01:29] Linda shared that before becoming a confidence coach, she was an organic farmer growing specialty vegetables for local restaurants. But ten years ago, she realized she was in the wrong business. She knew she wanted to make an impact, and rather than judge that desire as grandiose, she owned it and began her personal transformation journey.

[03:10] Linda explains fear always has a reason. It stems from life experiences, cultural influences, and how we were raised. People might have been bullied, overlooked, or told to stay silent growing up—leading to ingrained beliefs like “It’s not safe to be seen.” Fear, she says, isn’t the enemy; it’s a messenger from the past.

[06:16] Jim prompted the distinction between self-awareness and self-acceptance. Linda encouraged us to love the sound of our own voices—not to dominate but to take up space with intention. She frames presence as a balance between owning the moment and celebrating others' moments in the spotlight.

[08:23] Leadership moments aren’t always obvious. Linda encourages leaders to view these moments as service, not performance. If your voice might help move things forward, step in. The environment matters too—leaders must foster psychological safety if they expect others to contribute meaningfully.

[13:01] Though she has a background in expressive arts therapy, Linda identifies as a coach. She helps people resolve deep-seated fears using tools like EFT (tapping), creative visualization, and inner forgiveness. Her process isn’t traditional therapy—it’s based on what worked to dissolve her own fear of being seen.

[20:28] Linda explained that vulnerability looks different depending on the context—on stage vs. team meetings vs. watercooler chats. Her own experiences showed that being human—forgetting a point during a talk or making a mistake—can deepen connection and make you more relatable and trustworthy.

[24:05] Jan asked how Linda helps leaders shift from fixed to growth mindset. Linda shared she overcame her fear at age 60. Her advice: start small, build confidence with tiny wins, and remove what's blocking you. Once the fear is cleared, skill-building becomes easier. “This is your life,” she says. “Live it fully.”

[26:59] Linda wrapped with a powerful reminder: be your own best supporter. Silence your inner critic and give yourself permission to speak. Slow down, enunciate, and let your voice reflect the value of your message. People want to hear you—believe that, and speak like you do.

[29:08] And remember...“We don't always have an accurate view of our own potential. I think most people who are frightened of public speaking and can't imagine they might feel different as a result of training. Don't assume you know how much potential you have. Sometimes the only way to know what you can do is to test yourself.” - Scott Adams

Quotable Quotes

“Fear is not the villain. Fear is a messenger.”

“We need to not feel the pressure that we have to be a 10-year experienced speaker when we are just starting out.”

“Self-expression and speaking is your human design.”

“It's never too late. I overcame my fear of speaking when I was 60 years old.”

“The world opens up to you when you remove all the blocks.”

“Be your biggest advocate. Your staunchest supporter.”

“If we’re going to bother to say it, let our words be heard.”

“Perfect does not make us human.”

 

This is the book men