Episode 1, Season II | Sex & Intimacy Series: "Attachment in the Sheets"

Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Love Doc Relationship Coaching Services with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. 

Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" Season II, where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.

Episode 1, Season II | “Attachment in the Sheets: How Each Style Navigates Sex & Intimacy”

Welcome to Season II of The Love Doc Podcast with Dr. Sarah Hensley, kicking off with a powerful new series: Sex and Intimacy. In this opening episode, “Attachment in the Sheets,” Dr. Hensley dives headfirst into how our attachment styles show up behind closed doors — and why understanding these patterns can completely shift the way we experience sexual connection.

Dr. Hensley begins by unpacking the anxious-preoccupied (AP) attachment style in the realm of sex. APs are often the chameleons of intimacy, hyper-attuned to their partner’s needs and desires but rarely in touch with their own. Their deepest fear of abandonment can lead them to override personal boundaries, agree to things that don’t feel good, or mold their sexual expression entirely around what they think their partner wants. This form of self-abandonment might feel like love or closeness in the moment, but it slowly erodes the AP’s internal sense of safety and sexual autonomy.

Next, the fearful-avoidant (FA) style takes center stage — a deeply complex and often contradictory experience in the bedroom. FAs may begin with high emotional awareness and sensitivity to their own needs and desires, but that clarity can quickly get hijacked by old patterns of fear of betrayal or fear of vulnerability. For some, especially after trust has been broken, physical intimacy becomes a place of shutdown. Others may still engage sexually, while emotionally checking out, using physical closeness to mask the deeper disconnection they feel inside.

Lastly, Dr. Hensley explores the dismissive-avoidant (DA) style — often the most misunderstood when it comes to sex. For many DAs, sex becomes the one “acceptable” avenue for intimacy, even though emotional vulnerability remains off-limits. This creates a paradox: they may initiate or enjoy sex, but still struggle to feel safe, connected, or fully present. Alternatively, DAs may avoid sex entirely, perceiving it as another emotional demand or pressure they’re unwilling — or feel unable — to meet.

Throughout the episode, Dr. Hensley weaves in the science of what’s happening in the body — including key hormonal responses that men and women experience during and after sex, such as the bonding power of oxytocin and the physiological patterns of stress and arousal. She emphasizes that without emotional safety and secure attachment, our sexual experiences can easily become performative, disconnected, or fraught with unmet needs.

This episode is an invitation to reframe how we view sex — not just as an act, but as an emotional experience shaped by our history, attachment wiring, and our ability to feel seen, safe, and truly wanted. If you’ve ever wondered why intimacy can feel so difficult at times  — this episode is a must-listen.

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