Episode 16, Season II: “Breaking Free from Fear: How to Stop Letting It Run Your Life and Ruin Your Relationships”

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Love Dog Podcast. I'm your co host
Ryna Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hinsley, the
founder and CEO of the lovedc relationship coaching services and
of course, the Love Dog Podcast. You can find her
at the lovedoc dot com and on all social media
platforms at doctor Sarah Hinsley.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Hello, Hello, what's going on.

Speaker 3 (00:32):
I really enjoyed the fact that we got to ride
together today.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
I got to catch up, so we got to catch
you all up on listen. Sarah and I have had
quite the morning. Okay, oh my god.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
I woke up to four piles of diarrhea.

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Thankfully it was not a child, but it was a dog,
which may be even worse.

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Actually it was. It was wed. It was bad.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
And then Sarah woke up to a sick child.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
I did. My little eight year old woke up with
a fever and she just got her braces and her expander,
so her mouth is like all hurting her and then
she has this fever and throw infection. And so it
was just like no, two weeks into school and it's
everybody has the germs. Now the germs are upon us.

(01:17):
It's just rough, like having an elementary age kid. I mean,
of course, they get sick like less the more they grow,
Like Gabby hardly gets sick like she might get a
cold like, but that's about it, right. She's fifteen almost,
her immunities really short up from all of the preschool
and kindergarten and elementary years. But Lexi's just not quite

(01:37):
there yet. She's just starting third grade. And so it
doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
You'll get through all that and guess what then you'll
be cleaning up dog shit good time.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Oh trust me, if we didn't have a doggy door,
I would be doing that a lot, because we have
just like sweet Sarge, who's some kind of a doodle mix.
I don't even know if we know exactly what Sarge is,
like a doo draw but mac my gigantic golden doodle
bowl and a China shop dog. So sweet, but he

(02:07):
just has no conception of his size. He's like a
delicate little flower too. I mean like tap water, you know,
like I can't drink it.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Something I do think it's something about the poodle.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Yeah, but Bitsy is she's a multi poo, so she's
half poodle, but she's.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Like she's savage though.

Speaker 3 (02:24):
Yeah, she is so savage.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
I don't know. Maybe it's the mall too.

Speaker 1 (02:27):
I don't know, you know, like maybe the mall's just
like the male poodle has a more sensitive stomach.

Speaker 2 (02:32):
Because I mean, and I don't blame Sarge.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
I really normally I would get so mad, but I
didn't get mad at him this morning. It was completely
my fault last night. This was not only was it
four piles of diarrhea, it was four piles of diarrhea
that had set overnight.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
It was it was lovely, but Randa is taking like
a sparkling night.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
I literally it spackle like. And then I like, shan't
like for an hour, guys, for an hour. I cleaned
up poop this morning. So this look is brought to you.
Today's book is brought to you by Bye dog diarrhea.
Ye bye dog diarrhea, some dry shampoo, and and.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
I woke up at four thirty to use the bathroom
and then could not go back to sleep. I'm staring
at the wall. And that happens so often now lately.
It's like five am pee, you know, laid down and
boom right away because I'm like, well, I have to
get up around six to get LEXI ready for school,
and I'm committed to cooking a healthy breakfast. I'm so

(03:26):
proud for my kids. I just about knocked the microphone
into my face too, and I said that it's because
I've been up since four thirty. But you know, I'm
just she doesn't like school breakfast. It's trash, it's sugar
and crap, and so you know, I'm making scrambled eggs
or homemade oatmeal or you know something that I'm trying
to like. Really, I know, I'm trying so hard, and

(03:47):
I've packed their lunch every single day, healthy lunches. Although
Gabby's like, it's so cool that you pugged my lunch.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
It's my almost fifteen year old's wrong, Gabby, it's actually
really co.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
I'm just like, I'm buying her premade salads and Greek
yogurt and things that she can just throw in her
lunch box, because apparently it is uncool for your mom
to pack your lunch once you are in high school.

Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's not my mom packed my lunch all thor high
school mom did look back, and I'm so thankful to
speaking of children though, and then we'll move on. But
I actually got a text from my son today that said,
and guys like, after being you know, chin deep and
shit all morning, this actually made my morning way better.
It like made my all the bad things go away.

(04:30):
He sent me a text out of the blue, like
no one told him to do it that I know of,
and said, thank you mom for being the best mom ever.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Oh that would just warm my heart. That's my fourteen
year old would send that to me. And she is
sweet and we do you know she can be she
can be so sweet. But I feel like, like high school,
everything's so dramatic. Yeah, I'm like, where is this drama
coming test.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Season for her? I freshman in high school until varsity.
Each year varsity cheer into a much larger school too, Henry.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Clayrick Clay is huge. Like my entire high school was
three hundred people. Yeah wow, yeah it was really it's tiny.
So I just felt like I was in this which
I didn't love. I did not like it at all
because it was just everybody needed to be all flower there,
you know, everybody. You know, there was not a lot
of friends to choose from, and then you know in
high school, girls like switch alliances and friendships and but

(05:26):
it's brutal at Gabby School. It's like she knows she
can be a wallflower, right and I think her biggest
stresser right now. She's the school so big she doesn't
know where she's going. It's like two floors, and so
she's just like, I just get lost a lot. Still,
like everything looks the same, and you know they have
a day and B day, so it's not like she

(05:46):
has the same classes every day.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
That is confused.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
It is confusing. I don't really love block scheduling, but
it is what it is. But she can be really
sweet when we're connecting over boys or clothes or like
things that inter her. But but also then it's like
everything's like a huge deal, like I don't have the
hoodie that I need. Oh my gosh, what am I
gonna do? You don't deal with that with boys, No,

(06:12):
you don't see that's the thing my steps on. You
could literally dress him in absolutely anything and he does not.

Speaker 1 (06:17):
Care, very still doesn't care. So but so we've had
quite the interesting morning and that. But that's not what
this episode is about.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
It's not.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
This episode is about fear, fear and living in fear
and how to release.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Fear and how fear can ruin your relationship, or it
can keep you stuck in a really terrible relationship. I
just feel like it is the principality that I hear
most often in my practice. Yeah, you know, well, And
one of the things I hear so much, which blows
my mind, honestly, is like, well, my partner's cheated on

(06:58):
me a bunch, and so like, how do I ever
know if they're not cheating on me? I'm always afraid
every day and I'm like, okay, well they're showing you
a pattern of who they are. So at this point,
do you really want to be in a relationship where
you have to constantly wonder what someone is doing behind
your back. I would not want to live that way,
because I did live that way. So I have personal

(07:18):
experience living that way for like ten full years, and
it wrecked my nervous system wrecked it.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
And I'll mention it ends up wrecking like all the
other relationships in it.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
It does because you become so.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Hyper fixated on the fear of losing that person or
them cheating on you that you.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Just kind of forget what's really important.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
You do forget what's really important, and then your friends
are like, I don't want to hear about this anymore.

Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yeah, you know, I.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Don't want to hear about how your partner did this
awful thing when they've done twenty five million awful things right.
And I have so many clients specifically in my group,
less one one, but more specifically in my group that
are just like, well, how do I forgive when they
haven't even taken accountability? And I'm like, you can't. You
can forgive, but you can't be in relationship with them

(08:12):
without them taking accountability and working towards repair. You know,
love is unconditional. Being in relationships are conditional, and they
should be absolutely conditional. We can love someone from afar
while we protect ourselves and heal ourselves and.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
Move on from and give the forgiveness mostly for yourself.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, for yourself for staying in something that was way
less than you deserved. So I hear so much fear around,
you know, specifically when I talk about the mindset work, well,
how do I get rid of the what if? What
if they're cheating? What if they're doing this, what if
they're doing that? Well, you're really in fear, and becoming
secure takes you from what if to even if and

(08:52):
so one, when you really reach your security, you're gonna
not be turned on by that anymore. You're not going
to feel the need to compete with these other women
that he talks to or dms or whatever. You're going
to be like, no, I know my worth and this
doesn't work for me anymore. Like I'm so above this,
this is so below me that I Am not going

(09:15):
to do it anymore. But that's not the only place
I see fear show up. I see fear show up
when there are other difficult things in the relationship and
we have someone who has some degree of attachment anxiety,
And I would say, you know, obviously for the fearful avoidance,
this is a problem as well. So anxious preoccupies and
fearful avoidance, I would say both kind of equally share this.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
Fearful avoidance.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, it's actually in the name fear of betrayal being
the biggest fear, and so they're just constantly navigating this
fear that the relationship isn't going to work out. And
sometimes they're actually in a fairly decent relationship with someone
who's closer to secure, they'll create right, they're creating betrayals

(10:05):
out of things that really aren't betrayals. Like I had
a perfect example of this the other day. We had
an FA and a DA couple, and the FA was
just picking apart the words of the DA, like no,
you need to say it like this instead of like that.
And then the DA is like, but that's what I said,
and he's like, no, you didn't. You said it like this.

(10:28):
And honestly, I hear that all the time constantly from
like an F a DA couple, where like an FA
may be like running out the door and says okay,
love ya, and then the FA is like, no, I
need you to say I love you, not love ya,
And so the DA is like I did say I
love you. And they're like, no, you said love ya. Wow,

(10:49):
And the DA is like, but I meant I love you.
Like to me, it doesn't mean anything different, and but
to the FA, it means something so much different. Right,
And I say all the time, and you get comments
about it, I'm gonna try to be more self aware
about that. I preach self awareness. It's a bad habit. Listen, like,
I'm trying to gain your approval right right, right right,

(11:12):
And okay, I say that a lot so back to
what I was talking about. The FA is just picking
apart the words, whereas the DA is like looking at
the grander meaning of what I said. And that's very
FA and DA like to do. And so that is
an instance, honestly of when it's that small of a

(11:36):
fearful avoidant just trying to find a betrayal because their lens,
each attachment style has a filter and everything that their
partner says and does runs through that attachment filter. So
the apiece is abandonment. I'm going to be abandoned. I
sense any way in which this relationship is not one
hundred percent stable and they are not falling all over me.

(11:58):
I have fear abandonment, and I view their act as
potential abandonment. Theases betrayal. Everything they say and do. They
have the absolute worst intentions. They don't mean what they
say or whatever they said. They did it to hurt me.
That is it's such a problem.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
I'm still guilty of it.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
Yeah. And then the DAS is defectiveness. Everything you say
to me or do, you're trying to tell me that
I failed you. You're criticizing me, you're attacking me. That's
why they can't take any criticism, right, and I just
did it again. Right, I'm gonna have to unlearn this. Yeah,

(12:34):
you need to go back to speech class. Maybe I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:36):
Yeah, there are some classes out there for you know,
in terms of I saw something the other day that's
completely off the subject, but it said like it came
from a person who actually like does speaking engagements for
a living. And there are certain phrases that will ruin
you know, any speaking engagement, right is one of them. Yes,
you know is another.

Speaker 3 (12:59):
Okay, And I'm guilty of a lot of those. I
think I'm guilty of those in casual conversation more than
when I do a professional talk. If I do a
professional talk, this doesn't come out.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
And I think, you know, at the end of the day,
this is a casual conversation.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Guys, like we're in here. We do not script this.
We don't script this in any way.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
We don't even decide what we're gonna make the podcast
about until we are on the way to the podcast.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
And we're like, Okay, what are we going to talk
about today? And we and it's usually driven by things
maybe we've been through that week or something.

Speaker 3 (13:30):
Something that happened in the practice or yeah, a client
that I've had that's inspired something that I that I
see very commonly, and so I try to make it
about yes, what my brain has been thinking about recently.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah, And it's healthy for me to do that, and
it's you know, it's really about just the two of
us showing up authentic, and it gets easier, like I can.
I've actually gone back and watched some of our earlier episodes,
and I know that I have gotten so much more
comfortable behind this mic because right, right, But I've gotten

(14:09):
so much more comfortable because I would I would get
really nervous.

Speaker 2 (14:14):
And then not and not yeah, and not really know
how to.

Speaker 1 (14:20):
Use my voice and use the way that I would
just normally talk as just like the most authentic rain
of And so I've had to kind of learn how
to melt into that. And it's a learning process. I mean,
we're learning.

Speaker 3 (14:36):
And when we like you say uh huh or right
too much, we know we know we do Okay, we're
flawed humans, but we ain't perfect. We're not perfect, and
we're over you're trying to be. We're not trying to be.
That's we're going to be authentic. And if I say, right,
too much. It's just part of part of who I am,
so what Ebbsy's. But fear does show up so much

(14:56):
in people's lives. I know my personal journey of fear
was a very difficult one. It would be things that
consumed me every moment of every day. I had level
ten anxiety, a lot of anxiety around my health and
my children's health, in my children's well being. I had

(15:18):
a very traumatic birth with my daughter. I had a
very bad a couple very bad birth complications that I
think really traumatized me too. And so I think I've
always had some health anxiety. I don't anymore now. I'm

(15:39):
just like, if I have something wrong with me, like
it's gonna get worse and then I'll know and then
I'll go to the doctor. But I'm just I'm neutral
about stuff because when you've had a lot of trauma,
your body is forever a little wonky. And we've talked
about that signals kind of learned to fire differently. But
I just have this viewpoint now that if some it's

(16:00):
something bad, it's just it's gonna get worse.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
And then I'll then I'll go get it checked out,
all right and well, and you know.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
I mean we were talking about this on the way here,
even in you know, the business and watching the business
grow and seeing how, you know, the reach that we've
been able to create within the business. And then you know,
over the summer we've had quite a bit of fluctuation.
And I say fluctuation but like dip, right, We've had
some dips in ourselves. And you know, I can easily

(16:31):
I Sarah is the face, the brains, and everything that
is is the love doc and then everything behind the
scenes is Raina.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
And so it's like we're in this together.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
And occasionally fear will creep in where because I've said
it once, I'll say it again. I've lived off raymon
noodles in a prayer before, like I've been flat ass broken.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Oh maybe broken in a joke.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
Yeah, And you know, just recently, I think it was
just a few days ago, you know, I had some
fear based thoughts of like what if this is Like
what if it's run its course? Like what if we've
like what if we've done all the audience right, Like
what if we've done all we haven't even crashed the
surta no, And I'm.

Speaker 2 (17:18):
Like that's it.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
Well, it's such a narrow viewpoint, and it not only
discounts your value and my value, but it discounts the value.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
Of the business and the mission.

Speaker 3 (17:30):
And that's what I always you know, fear is it's
the opposite of faith first face right, And that's really
important to understand. You cannot be in fear and have
faith at the same time. And I think that's why
the devil loves to use fear, because he knows it
rips you out of the one thing that connects you

(17:51):
to God, which is faith. And so the way that
I handle fear now is, of course I am very
observant of my thoughts, and when fear creeps in, I
rebuke it in Jesus name. I won't participate no Satan,
not today man, and read today in Jesus' name, and
I repent for it, and I bring God in and

(18:12):
I ask God to help me reframe this, to help me,
because there has actually been scientific research conducted that shows
that anxiety and gratitude cannot live in the brain at
the same time. So if you are in gratitude, you
cannot be feeling anxiety. And that is so profound because
I think that a lot of faith is in worshiping

(18:32):
God is gratitude. I'm always every day thank you God,
Oh my goodness, thank you for my blessings, thank you
for this abundance. I do not know why you have
chosen me, or picked me or blessed me to have
this life, but I want to be a good steward
of it, and I'm so thankful. All the glory goes
to you.

Speaker 2 (18:48):
Yes and amen.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
That is a place where you can't feel anxiety and fear.
So when fear creeps in, first of all, you have
to be vigilant of the thoughts of fear, and you
have to be like, oh, there it is, there's sphere
direct and I won't participate. No, you are not gonna
drag me there into that place of what if? What
if anything? Right? What if a bomb hits us all tomorrow?

(19:13):
Then I always say there's two roads, right, There's two roads,
especially if you're a believer. If you're a believer, there
truly is two roads. One you die, and then you're
gonna be in glory and you're gonna have no pain,
no fear, no suffering. All the veil is lifted, all
of God's promises are revealed, and you're not gonna give

(19:34):
a crap about what's happening on earth because you are
in your final heavenly destination, right or two, you suffer,
and I think that is what most people are afraid of,
is the suffering. But listen, if you stay close to God,
he never leaves nor forsakes you. He gives you. He
supports you through the suffering. He gives you the ability,
He gives you the strength. And I know this because

(19:56):
I have been on my knees literally unable to walk.
Can function in the worst of it these strength to
put one foot in front of the other, per se, right,
I mean one foot in front of the other, whatever
that looks like, even if your wheelchair bound. It's one
wheel at a time, I guess, until it gets better.

(20:17):
Or He allows you to gain radical acceptance of your circumstances,
and he allows you to learn and grow from your suffering.
So many people in the Bible suffered profoundly and God
redeemed their suffering in some way. Does that mean that
their suffering was like completely reversed, You know, no. If

(20:40):
someone is paralyzed, that might not be reversible, right, but
God will see them through the strength to carry on
in their life with this condition, whereas when we don't
have God, we're victimized. We fall victim to the devil's
self pity. We have this external locus of control where
we feel like we're just so oppressed that we have

(21:02):
no strength to get out of it. When God says,
I did not give you a spirit of fear, but
I gave you one of power, love and a sound mind,
he meant it. He meant it. He gives you so
much power that we don't even begin to tap into.
And I know because I've scratched the surface with it,
and my life has changed profoundly.

Speaker 1 (21:22):
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means chili weather. And you know what goes well with
chili weather, Cozy Earth. Their fuzzy blanket that they sent
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Speaker 2 (21:36):
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Speaker 1 (21:38):
It's somewhat weighted, but not so weighted that you feel
like claustrophobic, because I don't love a weighted blanket.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
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Speaker 3 (21:46):
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Speaker 1 (21:49):
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Speaker 3 (22:02):
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I even hate hotel sheets. It's like I'm going to
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(22:26):
They stay so cool during the evening when you are
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(22:48):
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Speaker 2 (22:53):
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Speaker 3 (22:56):
All of these big you know speakers like Tony Robbins,
you know he always says your your perception is your reality,
and it is so true if you shift your perception
out of fear and into gratitude, or out of fear
and into the present moment, because so much fear is
future based what if? What if?

Speaker 1 (23:17):
And it's a practice, you know, it's a practice that
you have to, you know, remind yourself about.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
I mean again, just the other day, when you know.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
Those fearful thoughts kept creeping in, and you know, I
still struggle with that scarcity mindset of like okay, well
or a worthy minds like am I worthy of this? Why?

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Like you know, the blessings that have been bestowed upon me?
Like why me?

Speaker 1 (23:41):
You know, I've made so many mistakes in my life.
But then I have to remind myself that at the
end of the day one, I've stayed true to God
even in the face of my worst, you know, I
leaned on God, and even in my best, I've also
leaned God and shown him gratitude. And then so when

(24:03):
that fearful thought crept in, I just had to say, Sarah,
and I will never give up.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
No matter what happens.

Speaker 1 (24:09):
You know, yeah, whatever, you will not outthink me, You
will not outwork.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
Me right, you won't know and me neither.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
And we're so we're so passionate about the mission of the.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Business, about the mission.

Speaker 1 (24:23):
And helping people, yes, and showing people what healthy love
for not just their their partners look like, but really
what self love looks like. For sure, our journeys to
self love have been long and they're ongoing, yeah, and
very bumpy, and you know, fear is crept in so

(24:44):
many times and we've had to you know, rebuke it
and and you know, it's it's so beautiful and I
I'm so I just this whole week has been very emotional.
Maybe it was because that message we got this week
from you know, one of your followers who's been listening
to the podcast.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Great messages this week that we're such a blessing of
just you've changed my life so much. Your content has
been so helpful and understanding myself and my relationship. And
I mean that blesses our hearts.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
And it's a reminder.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Those messages like that are a reminder from God that
no matter what, fear can never win. It can't because
it's it's the moment from our missions. Because it's moments
like that, it's the people that we're helping. It's the
people that come to us and write to us and
say the things that they say that I'm like.

Speaker 2 (25:36):
It ain't about the money.

Speaker 3 (25:37):
Yeah, no, it's not about It's about I mean, the
money is a plusness and help. We try to help
people with it, right, and that give a lot to
the church.

Speaker 1 (25:45):
But it's not we want to do like we want
to be philanthropists, Like, yeah, that's our goal is to
be billionaires so that we can just be missionary. Yes,
and that's all we want to do is help everyone,
to help people.

Speaker 3 (25:56):
And literally your money and give away lots.

Speaker 2 (25:59):
And lots of other to help people.

Speaker 3 (26:00):
I would even search the dream because I don't need
billions now, I give away ninety percent of it and just.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Live goodwill do.

Speaker 3 (26:07):
She is a massive goodwill find queen. But I think
one of the things too that helps me is knowing
if it's not happening right now, it's not happening. And
really think about that statement. If it's not happening right now,
it is not happening. Because all there is is right now.
Life is made up of a million moments of now,

(26:30):
and when you spend now projecting into the future, with
fear you are ruining the now, you are wasting your life.
And I never truly was able to hang on to
that until I had God, and you know, I just
could never. It would just go back to what if,
what if? What if? What if I have cancer? What
if I have this? What if I have a mess?

(26:51):
Would I have this because I had five million horrible
symptoms from trauma that would try to convince me that
I had MS or cancer or everything. And then I
would go get a bunch of tests and it would
all come back clear, and then that would relieve my
anxiety for a little while until the next wonky thing
popped up. And that is actually how how the anxiety works.
When one thing settles, your brain is like, no, but
we need you to be hypervigilant and feel threatened because

(27:13):
world is so.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Dangerous and it's your norm.

Speaker 3 (27:16):
Yeah, and it's your norm, and it makes you hyper
vigilant towards your body. And then when you actually there's
so much research and you should really check out like
Alan Gordon and Nicole Sacks, and I mention their names
a lot, just because they were such a huge part
of my healing journey and their research and their science
has fascinated me from the first moment that I looked
at it. But when you hyper fixate on something that

(27:39):
you are afraid of in terms of your body or
like your life experience, one you start to hyper focus
on it, so you see it everywhere or you see
it all the time. Two. If it's like in your body,
the brain goes, oh, that stomach pain you have, you're
very afraid of that, and that's telling us it's important,
so we must make that bigger. So actually, when you

(28:00):
have a symptom and you have fear with it, it
wires it in harder and there are gosh, what is
that guy's name. Gupta is his last name. I can't
remember his first name. He runs the Gupta Program, and
essentially his program is all about this that diseases like
chronic fatigue and all sorts of other sort of diseases

(28:24):
that we don't really know why they happen, are really
heavily wired in because when they first appeared, usually they
were caused by stress or trauma on the nervous system,
plus some genetic predisposition for it, or maybe some kind
of trigger like a viral trigger, or exposed you know,
being exposed to talksin so he talks about mold illness,
and he talks about chronic fatigue, you know, chronic epstein

(28:48):
bar things like that. They become chronic because the brain
wired it in, because of the fear response attached to it,
because what fires together wires together in the brain. And
so the actual way all of that and this was
a huge part of my healing was one not only
my faith in God, but two starting to view any
symptoms that I had as neutral, or any life hiccup

(29:11):
as very neutral, like, Okay, well that is what it is.
It's just oh, I have this, my hand is numb
right now? Okay, well, what's.

Speaker 2 (29:18):
A body trying to tell me?

Speaker 1 (29:19):
I just lean in with curiosity now, right, like, instead
of like allowing it to scare me, because we y'all know,
you know, our ailments. We've talked about the good we've had,
the ailments, we've got very similar ones. And instead I'm
just like, Okay, what's my body trying to tell me?
How can I learn from this? You know, I'm just
I've started to look at every experience as how can

(29:41):
I learn? How can I grow? Instead of oh gosh,
what's happening?

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Right? And I think a lot of people too, will
use avoidance like, well, I'm just gonna put it out
of my mind and not think about it. But really,
healing comes to being connected to your body, but not
judging or assigning meaning to whatever's happening in your body.
And that is a huge part of emotional processing as well,
and actually getting emotional completion to happen, which is long

(30:05):
term nervous system stabilization. That is truly how we get
our long term nervous system stabilization is through proper emotional
completion in the body. And I teach that in my group,
and it really is one of those things where I'm
just I'm just very neutral. I'm just like, oh, hi,
little numb hand, Okay, Well, if you're something bad, you

(30:27):
will get worse. So what I'm gonna do right now
is just still allow you to be here with me
as I go through my day. I have had days
where my palms would sweat off the chain for no reason,
no reason at all. I've had days where I've had
debilitating stomach pain for no reason at all. I've had
days where I have had numbness and tingling for no
reason at all. All of those are stress based symptoms

(30:48):
where your nervous system has been so stressed for so
many years that it's just misfiring. It's just a misfire.
Ninety nine percent of the things I experience, which I
experience a lot less than I used to a lot
lots to night, and they are all out to it.
I'm just are just I'm like, it's just a misfire.
It's just a misfire. It's okay, I'm not dying.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
And if I am dying, oh well.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
Yeah, okay, yes, And then it's like, well, what about
your kids? Yes, that does tug on my heart. I
don't want to leave my kids. They've already lost one parent. No,
my beautiful husband has adopted them. They are legally his now.
But they would be devastated because.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
I'm there, you know, I'm there, the closest person to them.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
Obviously they love their dad, they love their you know,
adopted father, but it definitely would be a big trauma.
So they happened to me. But I have to think
about it as like, Okay, well, I'll be in heaven.
God's going to reveal that everything that happens on earth
there's a reason or purpose or underlying It's a temporary

(31:48):
state anyway. Do I want them to suffer here on earth?
Of course not. But am I going to feel they're
suffering or know they're suffering when I'm in heaven and
glorified and there is no suffering. No. So.

Speaker 1 (32:00):
But death reveals a lot too, you know, it does,
And I've learned that from you know, losing my own mom,
probably prematurely, you know, I think, oh, for sure, she
didn't know. I was only thirty four, and I know
people lose parents much younger than that, and so I'm
grateful that I had her for as long as I did.
But you know, it was in her death that gosh,
I can't even name the things that I've learned, and that,

(32:22):
if anything, I think it's helped me become less fearful
of my own mortalent.

Speaker 3 (32:28):
Yeah. I think Jared's death did the same thing for me, yea,
because it was like, well, he experienced it. Yeah, everybody
experiences it, you can't nobody. Was it Van Wilder or
something that said nobody gets out of this life alive?
Like nobody does.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
It's the one thing that died.

Speaker 3 (32:45):
And I think it's more that people are afraid of
the suffering and I get that. I do. And everybody
will suffer in this life one way or the other.
We say it all the time. Life traumatizes us all
you are not special. No, you are not special. And
I hate that because ideal. I deal with some people
who have massive trauma and I cry with them and
my heart breaks with them, and I hold their hand

(33:07):
through it virtually, and I hold space for them and
we try to navigate it together and try. I try
to bring them from the place of traumatization and victimization
and self pity and hopelessness to growth. And I always
tell people pain is the best launching point for growth.

(33:29):
And so you can't fear pain in your life. You
cannot fear suffering because suffering there is such an amazing
way that suffering can transform you for the better.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Yes, if you allow it.

Speaker 3 (33:41):
Yes, and sometimes our suffering is life long, but only
really a lot of times if we allow it to be. Now,
I'm not saying people that have like chronic pain, they
don't suffer their whole life, but get this, Alan Gordon
and Nicole Sachs found that a lot of chronic pain,
if not the majority of chronic pain, is neuroplastic pain
or what we call psychogenic pain. Their pain is real,

(34:05):
their pain signals are firing. It's not quote in their
head right, But there is nothing structurally or organically biologically
wrong with them. It's that wonky misfiring from suppressed emotion,
from chronic stress, et cetera. So the firing is happening,

(34:25):
that's causing the pain. But once they are able to
heal their nervous systems, their pain goes away. And Alan
Gordon and his podcast Tell Me About Your Pain, is
a beautiful example because he talks about his journey. He
had so much chronic back pain through college that he
could not live a normal life. He would have to
like bring a pillow to the movie theater and he would.

(34:47):
And I know my dad, who was in chronic pain
since the moment I was conscious until his death. I
one hundred percent know his pain was psychogenic. But he
would never ever open himself up to that idea. It
was always no, I have degenerative discs. Of course you do.
But there are a lot of people that have degenerative
disks that aren't basically couch bound right right right, that

(35:09):
have the exact same sort of structural issue that you do,
that are going that are out and living their lives,
and his doctors have told him that he would never ever,
ever even be a teensy ween. See bit open to
the fact that the trauma of his life and the
stress and his mindset and the chronic fear that he
kept and just his negativity and pessimism stressed his nervous

(35:33):
systems so much that his pain that what should have
caused him very little pain or pain that he could
have been able to live with, ended up being crippling.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:42):
And then I think too, which happens so often, is
you know, then you seek medical attention, and again we're
not doctors are so important. Medical doctors are so important
for so many reasons, and we're not discounting their value
in any way, shape or form. But I think, you know,
they only have so many tools in their toolbox. They do,

(36:02):
and then they create sort of these compounding problems by
prescribing just band aids and not getting to the root problem.

Speaker 3 (36:10):
My dad was addicted to opiates. He was addicted to
opiates for the last twenty years of his life, and
ultimately they cost him his mind, They cost him his mobility,
they cost him his personality, They cost it he was
a shell of a human being. And my ex husband
died from opiate to Opiates are a huge issue in Kentucky.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
We have like the most, specially with the dangers of
like fentanyl.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
Oh gosh, is such it's so bad here, dangerous. It
has been for.

Speaker 1 (36:35):
Years, and now they're putting finnel on everything, everything, everything.

Speaker 3 (36:38):
You can't. I mean, my husband, he's such a joke, sir.
Of course he's one hundred percent joking when he said
this to me. But he was like, man, nobody can't
even get any good drugs to experiment with any margin.
I dies, it's not the old days. You know, you
do a little experimentation.

Speaker 2 (36:53):
Yeah, you can't do that anymore.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
And I've had to talk to my daughter about that.
You cannot even try it once.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
Josh and I were just talking about it last night.
You know.

Speaker 1 (37:01):
Obviously Josh is a police officer, so he's all you know,
he's constantly i'ming an arcan people. And you know, an
ar canning is usually as the result of like somebody
might just take as annex that they got some from somewhere,
you know, and just because they needed to help sleeping,
and then all of a sudden they have fentanel poisoning,
you know, and.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
They're like overdosing.

Speaker 1 (37:20):
Yeah, and it's dangerous and it's scary, and it's really scary.
Not to live in fear, but it is scary for
for the for our children.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
Yes, And so I refuse to live in the fear,
even for my kids. Oh my gosh. I still I
still have to make sure that I am extremely vigilant
about fear towards my kids. Yeah, my kids are.

Speaker 2 (37:45):
It's a different kind of everything.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
And and I don't know, I was telling this is
a little bit off subject, but I was talking to
Donald last night and I was like, why is it
that when somebody hurts my child, I have this extreme
visceral reaction that I literally want to punch them in

(38:07):
the face. And that's not right, it's not godly. I'm
innu it. Do I rebuke it?

Speaker 2 (38:12):
Do I challenge it to.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
Like nature, you know, versus nurture, like where it's just
instinctual for you know, parents or specifically a mother, you know,
where we've carried these children in our wombs and we're
so biologically connected, you know, I mean their DNA flows
through us and our DNA flows through them and we're
you know, it's it's.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Their staying niological. Yeah, it's very biological.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
I don't know if our audience knows that, but when
you have a child, their cells circulate in your brain
for the rest of your life, so they literally are
connected to for the rest of your life and there's
no escaping that.

Speaker 2 (38:49):
Yeah, I want to go banshee.

Speaker 1 (38:50):
If somebody hurts shape too, listen And I'm I'm pretty savage,
Like he got this is he got his yearbook yesterday,
his senior yearbook, and I'm flipping through it and I'm like, good,
these kids are ugly, Like my child is beautiful. I'm like,
how did he not get best looking? They don't even
think they do those superlatives anymore. And the thing is is, like,

(39:11):
if you guys knew JP, he is the most humble,
like non confident child. And like his senior portrait, like
his senior portraits, he.

Speaker 2 (39:22):
Looked like a model.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah, like, and the thing is the irony, just like you, Joe,
thank you well.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
This irony is you haven't even almost peaked. Dude, You're
so handsome and you haven't even almost.

Speaker 3 (39:34):
Don't peak until they're like thirty thirty five. I think
men are most handsome, like in their mid thirty.

Speaker 2 (39:40):
Oh my gosh, I feel like even now Josh it
you know, Josh is forty three.

Speaker 3 (39:44):
I got me a young and am I am. I
am a historically a cougar. Every man I have ever
been with the exception of one, has been younger than
me and it has never turned out well until this one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:01):
Yeah, you know, god, Don is a good looking Guy's
funny because we're we're at Thursday Night Live.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
I was standing over with you.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
You and Donald were standing over here, and I was
staying with Jacqueline and her friend that was with her.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
And her friend was like, who is that guy? He
is so hot?

Speaker 1 (40:18):
I was like, that's serious, I will punch you in
the face.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Yeah, I'm just kidding. That would not be.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
Sheally okay, okay, yeah, but no, but.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
That happens all the time. Like I see women staring
at my husband constantly. Yeah, because he's hot as a Yeah,
he's jacked, he takes really good care of his body.
He's still got hair, he's yeah, you know, his beautiful teeth.
He's he's like almost six two, he's.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
And he's only thirty six right now.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
He's thirty eight, thirty eight, thirty eight, getting thirty nine.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
I feel like between the ages of really thirty two
till like forty five, I think men really really peak,
and they.

Speaker 3 (41:00):
Really do, especially if they take care of themselves. Where
a swim and it's harder.

Speaker 2 (41:06):
Men get older and they look rugging and sexy. We
get older and we're like tired.

Speaker 1 (41:09):
And it's so fair.

Speaker 3 (41:13):
Her face just starts melting downwards, and we're getting everything
injected to try to keep it.

Speaker 2 (41:20):
Many salt and peppers. And there's the fear.

Speaker 3 (41:23):
Of aging that is a huge fear. And then I
heard my practice. I'm not getting any younger. I'm in
this terrible relationship, and so i want my relationship.

Speaker 2 (41:30):
To be better, but it keeps a lot of people
and I'm not.

Speaker 3 (41:32):
Going to get any younger. I don't want to get
a divorce because I'm in my forties. She's gonna want me. Listen,
there there'll be seventy year olds on the dating apps. Yes,
I have had a seventy two year old client that
was with a forty something woman for years and years.
He was she was literally the trophy wife. Even admitted like, okay,

(41:54):
I was in a bad place, and I got a
trophy wife. She was complete DA completely checked out totally.
He wont with him for his money. He was a
very wealthy man, and ultimately he wanted intimacy. He wanted romance,
he wanted effort. He wanted to know that he was
more than just what he provided financially. But he was like,
I'm terrified, am I ever? Like? Who's going to want
a seventy two year old man? And I said, but listen,

(42:17):
wouldn't you rather even if let's say you've got five
years left, let's just throw out the average life expectancy
of like seventy six, seventy seven years old. Let's say
you're average five years. Do you want to spend the
next five years living with somebody who barely speaks to
you and spends all your money like water and could
not care less if you're okay, happy, sad? Do you
want to let where there's zero percent intimacy? He's like, no,

(42:40):
I think I don't. I don't want to go to
my deathbed like that. And I said, what if you
don't find anybody else?

Speaker 2 (42:47):
Okay? What if?

Speaker 3 (42:49):
What if it's just you and your friends and you
get to fish and you get to do the things.
He was still kind of an active dude, right, And
I said, I said, I don't know about you, but
my mom's in her seventies and she's she's set like
seventy five, and she's had pancreatic cancer, and she's jawser
sizes and she travels, and she she would love a mate.

(43:13):
She would love a mate. But my mom is a
little on the DA side. But I think she's learned
a lot. I think she's worked on her security a lot,
and I think she would really love a partner.

Speaker 2 (43:24):
It is never too late to live. My dad used
to say that all the time.

Speaker 1 (43:29):
He had this sign, your dad married a bombshell, Yeah,
she said. Is a hottie, Yeah she is, and super
sweet and looks a good looking dude, not to like,
very offensive.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
But he's asive, he's hilarious. Yeah, he is kind cultured, Well,
he is kind. And what is he seventy.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Five seventy four, seventy five, seventy five.

Speaker 3 (43:50):
Yes, he's a fantastic catch.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah he is.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
He's a fantastic catch. And so I'm just sitting here
when people are like, well, what if I don't find
anybody else? I always say, do not let the fear
of not finding someone stand in your way. There are
seven billion people in the world.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Fear just makes you cynical too.

Speaker 3 (44:12):
It keeps you from everything you want. You cannot have
what you want. I truly believe in the law of attraction,
and I think fear is the lowest vibration that you
can operate under. And I think that that is why
I was like, I'm just a cursed person. That's how
I felt about myself. You know, when all the five
weeks of hell trauma or six weeks of hell trauma

(44:32):
happened to me, Mom had cancer, ex husband died, DA
boyfriend left, Charlie died, my dog was Charlie. It was
just like, I felt like I'm a cursed person, and
I really believed that. And then vestibular migraine hit, and of.

Speaker 2 (44:49):
Course you consumed.

Speaker 3 (44:51):
I was consumed. I was consumed with fear and it
crippled me and it kept me from my potential and
it kept me from the foe on what was good
in my life. And when you focus on what is good,
and you focus on your blessings, then you will will
absolutely start seeing the good. And it's snowballs it's snowballs.

(45:13):
And now in my life, what if it's just like okay,
even if, even if I die tomorrow and my kids
have this horrible trauma, I'm going to be in the
glory of God. I have to trust. I have to
trust God deeply that he will see them through, that
they will He will redeem their suffering in their life,
and then they will meet me in heaven and it

(45:34):
will be in the blink of an eye, because there
are no time. There's no time in heaven. And that
is just what I choose to hang on to, so
that the fear of what if that you get cancer,
what if you have MS, what if what if you
get lu Gerrig's disease, what if you get I mean,
it tried to happen. The other day. We're watching Boardwalk Empire,
which is an older show. But I don't know why
we're on this gangster show. It's just like we just

(45:56):
watched The Sopranos again, and you know, Steve behin me
such a great actor. But the little child called polio
like in in the in the show, and my oldest
daughter is not fully vaccinated. And before you'd freaking judge me,
she has two autoimmune diseases, and her immunologists would not
allow it. So don't you come at me, okay me,

(46:21):
all right, but it cross my mound. Oh my god,
what if she gets polio? What if the detap that
she had, you know, it's worn off by now? What
if you know, we do a mission missionary and she
goes and gets polio? And I was like, stop it
in Jesus' name, No, what if a plane crashes into
our house tomorrow. I'm not ruining my I'm not ruining
my time right here in this moment thinking about this

(46:43):
chance that my child, who cannot be fully vaccinated because
of her autoimmunity, risks and her and they did full
genetics and listen, her care team made that decision.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
And there's tons of places to go on mission trips
that don't Yeah, that aren't third word. I mean even
in our own backyard. I mean, Southeastern Tucky does mission.

Speaker 3 (47:01):
Yes, So I'm just like, you know what, No, I'm
not going there. But before I would have been consumed
with it for days, and I would have been like,
is there a way we can find a way to
vaccinate her? Is there not something else we can do?
Is there you know?

Speaker 2 (47:14):
And I'm just like, no, not things that haven't even
happened yet, haven't even have yet.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
And I'm not a doctor. Her care team we made
for a decision. We had multiple Okay, but I'm not okay,
I'm gonna med with Rachel Green. If you have a
heart attack, you don't want me around. I'm not the one.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (47:31):
You want me to pick your brain, help you fix
your relationship, sure, I'll do that all day long, but
I can't help you if you go down with a
heart attack in a restaurant. You know, like, remember how
Rachel Green said that to us?

Speaker 1 (47:43):
Oh yes, ros, why don't you get out your scalpel
and your fossil brush?

Speaker 3 (47:46):
Fossil We love the friends. We love friends. We're huge fans.
That's friends. But we have a lot of reference.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
She has a PhD. Yeah, the good kind, so the
not the not the dirty kind. Okay, I don't know
where Y's brains are going. That's another friend joke. You
have to be a friends fan to understand.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yes, And I was just like, no, Okay, I'm not
a doctor. Her care team made this decision. There's herd immunity,
other people protected, there's you know, and I don't even
judge anti vaxxers. I don't even judge them because likely Listen,
my daughter's care team admitted because she was super premature

(48:24):
and they vaccinated her right away with everything and anything
under the sun, it likely caused. And then we did
genetics she had some risk factors genetically, her vaccines likely
cause toronto immunity. That is from her immunologist. So do
people have their reasons. Yes, I'm I'm so sick and
freaking tired of the judgment and hate in the meanness

(48:45):
of this world.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
It's surface level judgment, right, because you don't understand somebody's story.
You're not seeing the underlying, you know, backstory of everything
that's happened prior to that. You're just judging people on
the surface. And it's not okay.

Speaker 3 (49:01):
Yeah, it's not okay. And I am so sick. I
am so sick.

Speaker 2 (49:06):
Well it's easy to do It's very easy to do
it because the world.

Speaker 3 (49:11):
Yes, because social media is just a breeding ground. Everybody
has like a you know, it's.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
A breeding ground for judgment. It's a breeding ground for fear.

Speaker 3 (49:18):
It is a breeding ground for fear mongering. It's not
there's a lot of fear. Mom, Oh my gosh, so
much fear mongering. And listen, guys, you can't believe everything
you hear.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
It's ruining your brain. It's ruining brains, and it's ruining
your adrenals. You're pumping out every time you're in fear,
You're pumping out massive amounts of cortisol, which is inflammatory.
It makes your belly fat, it makes you swollen, it
makes you feel like crap, and yes, it increases your
risk of.

Speaker 3 (49:44):
Autoimmunity and other things. So save your adrenals. Lean into God.
That's my best advice. Faith is the opposite of fear.
Lean into gratitude. Monitor your thoughts, catch fear, refuse to
participate in its. Frame the thought, or invite God in
to help you reframe it for you. And then remember,
if it's not happening right now, it's not happening. And

(50:06):
don't let the fear of anything holds you back in life.
Take the risk in life. I don't know who said it,
I forget, but someone very smart once said, if you
don't take a risk, you're likely to regret not taking
the risk versus trying and failing. Oh for sure, we
regret more of the shots we don't take than the

(50:27):
shots that.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
We all know.

Speaker 1 (50:28):
I mean, it's it's cliche, but we all know that
the most successful people are the people who have failed
the most.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Because failed to take the risk.

Speaker 3 (50:39):
Listen, and I don't care to talk about money because
I want people to have money, and I think that
it shouldn't be taboo to talk about money. We don't
want to brag about our money. We want to help
people make money, right, help bring money to you. When
you're scared about money, money will not come because you're
rejecting it, you're not open to it. That's God's law
of attraction. If you believe. Listen to this, and this

(51:00):
is where we will wrap it up. I had a
fear based thought about our business because yes, the last
few months have been kind of slow, but that's summer
for you. It just is people are out there with
their kids. You know, they're traveling. They don't have time
to pour into personal development. We know it's coming, it
is what it is. Things will pick back up. But
I had the tiniest fear based thought, just like you,
what if we've saturated our audience. What if this is

(51:22):
as good as it gets? You know? And then I
said you know what, No money comes to me easily.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
It just does.

Speaker 3 (51:27):
Money. Money flows to me and I because and it's
about the mission, and whatever about the money, the money
will come. I'm not going to worry about it. Two
things happen that day. Would you believe this. I got
a call and I still got to call this guy
back because we keep missing each other from the guy
who sold me my car. And he was like, your
down payment, we forgot to credit it to you when

(51:49):
we did the deal. And of course I didn't notice
in all the paperwork. There's tax, there's title, there's all
these things I didn't notice, so they didn't give me
this credit of twenty five five hundred dollars of my
down payment. He's like, so I owe you twenty five
hundred dollars. And he's like, I just need you to
call me back and give me the car. Do you
want me to put it on or we can mail

(52:10):
you a check. The same day I had that thought,
Absolutely not. I will not be in fear of scarcity,
in fear of not having money. My focus is on
the mission money of QUM. Then I get a check
in the mail for four hundred and ninety eight dollars
from the government where I overpaid my taxes. My account.
My account was a little too good, and I just
opened it and it's four hundred ninety dollars. Three thousand

(52:31):
dollars came to me in one day when I rebuked
the fear, and I said, money comes to me easily.
I'm not worried about it. My focus is on the mission.

Speaker 2 (52:39):
Proof right there, folkus.

Speaker 3 (52:40):
It's the law of attraction. It is God's law. The
law of attraction is real. Quantum physics has proven it.
Psychology has been saying it for years. The Bible talks
about it, and so it's we don't it's not the universe,
and we organically don't manifest anything. But God created a
universe based on energy, and so what energy are we

(53:03):
putting out into the world? And it will come back
to us. That is when God said, I gave you
not a spirit of fear, but one of power, love,
and sound mind. That's two Timothy one, p. Seven. And
he means it because he says, I gave you power,
and I gave you a sound mind. I did not
give you a spirit of fear that is from the devil.
And when you operate in the devil's playground, you will

(53:24):
get more of what he has to offer. So let's
end it right there.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
Preach girl, prey, preach Ah.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
I love it though, it's always it always, you know,
I always leave here feeling refreshed and feeling like, you know,
whatever happens from here is exactly how it should and
everything unfolds as it should.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
And so if you have.

Speaker 1 (53:46):
Been struggling with living in fear or you know, really
just struggling with really the biggest thing, which is detachment, right.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
You're based detaching from something that is not serving you.
And of course a lot of most marriages are fixable. Yeah,
most relationships are fixable. Yeah, and people don't realize if
both people have to want it though.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1 (54:11):
But if you're struggling with detachment and fear, really just
fear withinside your relationship in it any way, doctor Hansley
is here to help, of course, you know, tune into
the podcast. The podcast is free. We're here for you, guys,
and we give you all this good free content. And
I say we I'm just here to give personal stories.
Doc is really the brains, but we're here you can
listen to you know, every week we drop a new episode,

(54:33):
and I think that most of our episodes are really
the basis of what we really talk about in every
episode is to have no fear right and to learn
how to detach in a way that is healthy, but
mostly how to love in a way that is secure
and healthy. So please go see Doc at her website,
the loovedoc dot com for all of our listeners. We

(54:55):
offer a special promo code which is love Doc twenty
seven that gives you twenty seven percent off all of
her services except her one on ones, which that might change.
We might we might start doing something now we're changing up.

Speaker 3 (55:07):
We changed our software because our one on one system
and then the group and the courses wonder another system.
Now we've merged all the systems together. Listen to tech
is the worst side of the business. It is the worst.

Speaker 1 (55:18):
Yesterday I finished the new system. I think fingers crossed
that I've dotted all the i's and crossed all the
t's that like, I seriously when it when I like
went through all of it one last time to just
check it all to make sure it all matched and
everybody's names were right. I mean, it's so tedious. I
was like I might throw up. I really felt like

(55:41):
I was like, I'm gonna throw up. I'm like, because
this has been just the pain of my existence for the.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Past really like three weeks that I've really been honed
in on it.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
But I think it's done, which just gives us so
much more room to be able to offer you know,
some discounts around one on ones with Doc and our
other coaches.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
Yes, so more room, Yeah.

Speaker 3 (56:02):
To be able everything being under the same sucstem.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
Yes, it makes it a little bit more accessible. Yes,
we won't get into.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
The how and why.

Speaker 1 (56:09):
You don't care about that shit, but but seriously, I
know y'all care, y'all care about a lot of y'all
do want to meet with Doc one on one or
want to meet with one of our coaches one on one.
But her group, of course is wonderful too. Even the
self paced program is wonderful program. You can you can
buy the self paced program.

Speaker 3 (56:27):
Which is do it all on your own.

Speaker 2 (56:28):
And do it all on your own and then add
the place later.

Speaker 1 (56:31):
We When you buy the self pace program, you're automatically
give given a promo code to pro rate the costs
of that self paced program off. If you do decide
to add the calls later. So there are so many options, guys.
I know we don't go into a lot of detail
on the pod about the specific services that DOC offers,

(56:52):
but please reach out to us at support at the
lovedoc dot com. We're here to answer all of your
questions and of course continue to write to us.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Please questions. Your feedback means so much as yours.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
Your just comments, if we're If you enjoy this podcast,
it helps us on the hard days where where tech
makes us want to melt down into a little ball
and just cry, or.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
If we just you know, we've had bad days in general,
kind of four piles of diarrhea. You know, it happens.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
It happens. Life traumatizes everybody, and so your positive feedback
is it means a lot. It means so much. And
you're so thankful to you for just giving me a platform,
because without you, I would have no platforms. So thank
you for blessing our business so very much. Please share
with your friends if this has helped you, because our
mission is to help as many people as possible. That's

(57:42):
all we truly want at the end of the day,
So thank you so much.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
That's right, and until next Time Guys, Peace, love and perspective.

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