Episode 2, Season II | Sex & Intimacy Series: “Pleasure, Not Shame - STD Truths, Healing, and Sexual Empowerment with The Yoni Nutritionist” - The Love Doc Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Love Dog Podcast. I'm your co host
Raina Butcher here with our host, doctor Sarah Hensley.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hey, Hey, what's up? Oh gosh? Not much excited for
episode two of our series on sex and Intimacy and
we just started season two with our new set and
we are ready to go. We have a very special guest.
Would you introduce her?

Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, we have the Yoni nutrition Nutritionist aka Adrian. Hey, Adrian,
how are you?

Speaker 3 (00:39):
I am good? Thank you?

Speaker 1 (00:41):
How are you so good? Thank you so much for
being here. We are so pumped to have you on.
I've been following you probably for about a year now
on social media and you are just such an inspiration
and you've given me just so much clarity and hope.
And so just tell our listeners a little bit about yourself,
tell them what you do and really what you have

(01:03):
to offer.

Speaker 3 (01:04):
Oh, I appreciate that so much. My name is Adrian,
and I am the Yoni Nutritionist. I'm a holistic nutritionist
that specializes in nutrition and lifestyle practices for women's sexual health,
particularly vaginal health, particularly helping women heal the root causes
of recurring vaginal infections. And not only am I a

(01:26):
holistic nutritionist, but I am a very passionate sexual health
advocate and educator, and after living with STIs and dealing
with my own vaginal health issues for most of my
sexually active life, I have learned so much and I've
learned that there's still so much stigma around these things,

(01:46):
which trying to help end by educating people and supporting
people who are going through these very common things and
who feel very alone.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Yes, I absolutely and I think that that's what's going
to be so valuable for our listeners. And what we
talked about, you know when we talked last week is
I know a lot of people that doctor Hinsley deals
with and her practice and amongst couples, that a lot
of people come in talk to you about maybe some

(02:16):
infidelity that they had.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yep, and which STIs end up being a part of
that infidelity, right, And oftentimes that's how they found out
that there was an infidelity because they were diagnosed within STI,
and it just kind of quadruples the trauma that they experience,
right not only being cheated on, but also now their

(02:37):
health being somewhat put at risk, and they feel completely
traumatized and alone and lost, and they may have gotten
a diagnosis of HSV, which is I know something that
you talk about a lot, which is you know, herpes,
and it is so common and it is something that

(02:58):
still has so much stigma around it. And I know
the clients that have come to me and kind of
had this experience are wholly you know, lost and not
knowing what this means for their future, what it means
for you know, if they end the relationship. I've had
clients say, now, I don't feel like I can end
the relationship because nobody will want me after this has happened.
And it is it is just, you know, so heartbreaking

(03:22):
to see how deeply they are affected a lot because
we just don't have good information and because of the
stigma that still exists. So will you talk about that
a little bit.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
Well, it's my favorite topic because none of us were
taught about this stuff, and that's where a lot of
the fear comes in, is because we don't know a
lot about these things. And when people hear the word herpes,
it's like a branded scarlet letter or something like that,
when it's just the stigma that's the problem, and this
lack of education and the fear around these things because

(03:55):
we all fear what we don't know, right, And there's
so many layers that go into the shame and the
feelings that come with a diagnosis like herpes, like HPV
two of the quote unquote lifelong viruses that are sexually transmitted.
But little do people know is that they are. They

(04:17):
can be very manageable and preventable, and there are tons
of things that you can do to manage these viruses,
prevent transmission to partners, and learn how to live confidently
within yourself and in your relationships and in your sex
life when you live with these things. I've lived with
both genital herpes and cervical dysplasia one of the types

(04:40):
of HPV, for over twenty years now, and I mean
I've got lots of experience with dating and relationships, and
I've learned so much over my personal experience of twenty
years living with these things, but also in my research
and education as a nutritionist to learn how to you

(05:00):
live confidently with these things. And it is unfortunate when
these things happen because of infidelity a lot of times,
though they of course they do happen because of infidelity.
But what a lot of people don't know is that
both of these HPV and herpes viruses can be asymptomatic

(05:20):
in people for a really long time.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Very long time, And that's something that I didn't know
specifically about HSB. I actually did my dissertation on HPV
and the shame and the stigma and how it affects
romantic relationships, And what I found in my dissertation research,
which I actually published like seven years later in twenty seventeen,

(05:43):
is that people just didn't know anything about HPV. They
didn't know anything about it. Despite having lots of ads
like around gardasil and the vaccine and everything, people just
didn't know. And it's the most part and it's the
most prevalent one. You know, the research shows literally if
you're sexually active and you have more than one partner,
you're going to get some strain of HPV. But a
lot of the times, you know, the body clears it

(06:06):
without it ever being sort of picked up on a
papsmerror or anything like that. And usually the risks of
cancer associated with HPV are are pretty low if you
are being screened and taking proper you know, post diagnosis
treatment protocols. So talk to us a little bit about

(06:27):
you know, how what people should do if they get
this diagnosis and they feel really lost. What's the first step.
What would you tell people to do?

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Well, the best thing that people can do is learn
about it. And I feel like it's such an Both
HERPIES and HPV diagnoses can be so overwhelming, and because
of the shame that people feel and they feel like
they did they did something wrong, so many people don't
even want to say the word herpies, so they will

(06:55):
a lot of people will just kind of go into
denial and not believe it and not want to do
any of the research or learn about it because they
just it's just too much, which is unstandable because it's like,
you know, it's not just the physical stuff, it's all
of the emotional stuff that's attached to These people sometimes
would rather just avoid.

Speaker 2 (07:17):
I don't want to feel necessarily under the rug.

Speaker 3 (07:21):
Yeah, so I think, but it all rare.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
It's ugly. Head Eventually in one way or the other,
you know you're going to have to pass it.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
Yeah, And knowledge is power, Like there are so many
it's really so interesting. I think it's interesting to learn
about these things and understand how they work. Take the
sexual transmission out of it for a second, because that's
where the stigma comes from. And learn about these things
how they work as viruses, because that's what they are.

(07:50):
And really it depends on the health of your immune
system to manage these viruses and prevent them from developing
in just long term health issues cancer, or prevent transmission
and prevent recurrence of symptoms and outbreaks. Right, there's so
many things that when you learn it, when you can

(08:10):
see it in that way, in that kind of non
sexual lens for a second, you kind of be like, oh, yeah,
it's just it's a virus.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
It was so interesting. In my dissertation, I had a
group of women diagnosed with HPV and I had a
group of women that were coming to college health services
for diagnosis of mono or epstein Bar virus right, which
of course it used to be labeled the kissing disease,
but you can get epstein bar you know, drinking after
someone or whatnot. And we did find a huge difference

(08:42):
between the groups in terms of how they viewed their
diagnosis and the stigma associated with it and the shame
that they felt and the guilt that they felt, and
how they felt like it affected their romantic relationships, and
so essentially both HPB and epstein bar or viruses that
live in the body. Both, I mean, epstein bar can
have some pretty serious consequences if it rears its ugly head.

(09:03):
It can give people long term chronic fatigue. It's associated
with some kind of nasty health issues if it if
it recurs. And yet the people that had epstein bar
were not the tiniest bit worried right about that diagnosis,
whereas the women who had HBV reported significant shame, guilt, depression,
and distress associated with their diagnosis.

Speaker 3 (09:26):
And isn't it interesting because it's because it's related to
sex and sexual trends, and I think women's sexual health
has been so stigmatized and shamed for so.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Long and not talked about, not talked about.

Speaker 4 (09:40):
Nobody's talked about it.

Speaker 2 (09:41):
Right, because I mean, gosh, all you have to do
is look at the Internet trolls that are, you know,
telling you you're dirty and gross and you shouldn't be
talking about this, or you know, you're promiscuous or you
must have been, you know, doing a bunch of really
bad things to acquire this diagnosis. And we know that
that it's just true. You can get an STI the

(10:04):
very first time you have sex.

Speaker 3 (10:08):
You can get an STI when you're married. And yes,
infidelity happens, but it's also not only because of infidelity.
I was talking to a male client last night who
was misdiagnosed many times by his doctors. Finally received an
HSV one and HSV two diagnosis and had to tell
his wife, and of course she just assumed that he

(10:31):
was cheating on her and he, I mean, I can't
prove that he wasn't, but he was really convincing me
that he hadn't right, and you know that holds all
all kinds of other shaman stigma. And yeah, you can
sleep with one person one time, do everything right, and
wear a condom and still get things like herpes or

(10:52):
genital warts, because sometimes condoms don't protect the area where
the skin to skin transmission happens, right.

Speaker 4 (10:58):
Like the pelvic area.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
I mean, I've known someone who that happened to where
you know, it was transmitted on the pelvic area, and
you know, they did everything right, they used protection, you know,
and it's still it didn't matter.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
And so you know, sex is inherently risky and you
have to be willing to I think it's important to
understand the risks right so that you can be emotionally
prepared for whatever the outcomes may be. And so, how
do you recommend having that conversation with a potential dating
partner if you've had one of these diagnoses? How do
you navigate that?

Speaker 3 (11:34):
It really comes down to confidence in yourself. And that's
so much easier for me to say than it is
to do, because trust me, it took me a long
time to feel confident in both of my diagnoses. But
that's the thing. Learning about it is step one again
taking the sexual transmission out of it for a second

(11:56):
and learning how these viruses work as a virus and
how they how manageable they can be, and start putting
those practices into place, because there's tons of things you
can do with your diet and your lifestyle and supplements
and your mindset around relationships, your relationship with sex, your
body and your vagina, your sexual health, and you know,

(12:19):
work through a lot of those feelings of shame, which Sarah,
as you know, is like rooted in so much more deep.
There's just so much that goes into it than just
the sex part. But when you can understand those and
start doing the work, working through those even if it's
just little steps every day, you'll start building your confidence
and trusting your body and trusting that these things aren't.

(12:42):
You start to see it as not a big deal,
because you know it's not. So when you go into these,
you know, conversations with potential partners, if you make it
seem like it's not a big deal, chances are most
of the time they're going to see it is not
a big deal.

Speaker 1 (12:58):
But I think too, like create and honesty within yourself
and a trust within yourself, and it's probably one of
those those things like you know, the more you do it,
the more comfortable you get doing it, you know, and
then it becomes easier and it becomes more natural. And
I think that you know, honesty and trust, I mean,
as Sarah talks about, and with so much is so
regulating to the nervous system, and the more we can

(13:21):
be honest with ourselves and with others is a way
that we show up more authentic. And and that's really
what this is about, you know. And so because you know,
I know so many of our listeners are probably living with,
you know, some of these diagnoses, and this is probably
going to be just so unbelievably refreshing for them, right

(13:42):
and so, and that's why I wanted you on right,
That's why I wanted you here, is just so that
you could offer this sense of hope and just this
idea that hey, it's not that big of a deal.
Just be honest, be honest, show up, authentic, and then
the right people will come in and the wrong people,
you know, can hit the road.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
They'll see themselves out and that's a good thing that
they did, That's right.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
And that's why it's so important again for our listeners
that they need to hear this because I know that
rejection can be such a big component of something like
that for someone who's who maybe wants to step into
that and be honest, if they're in the dating phase
of their life, and then you know, you do get
rejected and psychologically that's really difficult. And I mean, Sarah,

(14:26):
I know you can speak on that and speak on
you know a lot of your clients that maybe come
in and that deep sense of rejection and what it
does to them.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yes, it you know, rejection can be really painful. It
is something that I think all of us in different
ways have experienced in our lives in different forms of rejection,
but with rejection, the primary emotion that's experienced is shame,
and shame we know is so detrimental. Again, my dissertation
was all about shame, and I even found in my

(14:55):
dissertation that shame decreased CD for help ourselves, which is
really important in managing viruses like HPV for example. And
so the more internal shame that we have, the more
likely we are to have recurrences of some of these
viral STDs or outbreaks of these viral STDs. And so

(15:16):
there's a link there between our psychological I mean, of
course there's always a link. We live in the biopsychosocial
model of the world. But if you are living in
chronic shame or you're depressed or distressed over your diagnosis,
that could potentially make your diagnosis worse. And so it
is so important to know how to process any shame

(15:36):
associated with rejection and to be able to see that
objectively that rejection is usually coming from a lack of understanding,
right and a lack of comfort that somebody has with
this diagnosis because they don't know about it. They don't
know that you can live with it and that you
can manage it and that you can prevent transmission and

(15:57):
so that it's not a scarlet letter. And like I
just try to tell my clients, those people probably have
more deep rooted issues with intimacy than you knew about
right in this dating phase. And they're probably doing you
a favor by walking away because when other things come
up in your relationship that is difficult, they're probably going

(16:20):
to be inching away from that as well. So let
them see themselves out. And the people that are able
to lean in and the people that are able to
accept you and to be understanding are the people that
probably have more capacity for intimacy in the first place.

Speaker 4 (16:34):
Ye, rejection's a myth, right.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
It is a myth. I mean spiritually it's a myth.
I mean, you're never rejected. You have a God that
will never leave or forsake you. So you know, I've
had plenty of experience, you know, battling rejection throughout my
entire life, and it wasn't until I got really close
with God that that healed that for me. But for

(16:57):
those that you know, don't have that relationship, you have
to understand that rejection is a shame based emotion and
shame is just so incredibly painful, and we have to
be able to learn how to deal with our internalized shame.
And that's something we've talked about a lot.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
And I think that when you can see it from
the perspective of you know, rejection isn't always rejection. It's
just somebody's lack of capacity to understand right and so
or to want the same things you want exactly, And
so it's not you know, because I mean, obviously I've
I've dealt with rejection. I think all females have in
some way, shape or form, and males, yeahs.

Speaker 2 (17:31):
Which everybody's dealt with some form of rejection somewhere, and
nobody loves it. Nobody likes it. But it's what's your
story behind it? Right? Is your story that yes, I
am shameful and I am you know, I'm inherently bad
or defective now that I have this diagnosis, or is
it that you know this happens to I know, I
believe the statistic on herpes is one in five people,

(17:52):
if that's still correct or still updated, And so that's
a heck of a lot of people, right, that's twenty
percent of people. So we're talking about it. A good
handful of the population is dealing with this, and so
talk to us a little bit about specific dietary interventions
for HSV or HPV or some of those longer lasting,

(18:12):
you know, viral diagnoses. Obviously ones that can be cured
with antibiotics, we're dealing with a different beast here, but
for those those long lasting diagnoses, talk to us a
little bit about your recommendations for diet, for supplements, for
things for our listeners that might be diagnosed with these issues.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Well, thinking about these things as viruses, you know, you
can kind of relate to it as in managing the
common cold, which is also a virus, because it can
be that simple. It's really keeping your immune system strong,
so that means eating, trying to reduce any kind of
chronic inflammation, because chronic inflammation can suppress your immune system,

(18:54):
which can bring up these viruses. Also managing your stress,
especially around with herpes, because because herpes is a virus
that lies dormant in the nerves, so the stress is
going to trigger it. But there are also other triggers
that sometimes that are food based for people. So, for example,
with herpes, foods that are high in the amino acid

(19:16):
called arginine. Just think of arginine as bad, okay, And
all foods have this amino acid arginine in them, but
some foods have higher amounts of arginine in them. For example, chocolate, nuts, seeds,
corn oats, everybody's favorite things, all of my meats, like

(19:39):
all foods have higher well, some some have higher amounts
of arginine in them, which can replicate the DNA of
the herpes virus and trigger it in some people. Like
I've talked to people who will get triggered by eating
peanut butter or puff pastry or something random, or even
if they have an alcoholic beverage a glass of wine

(20:01):
or two, they'll have an outbreak. And it's not like
that for everybody, but those are just generally the foods
that you want to pay attention to when you do
live with herpies. There aren't really specifically any foods that
are triggers of the HPV virus because it's a little
bit different the way it works. But in terms of

(20:23):
managing it with herpes, you can take a supplement called lysine,
which is kind of like the opposite of rginine. Think
of rginine being bad and lysine is being good. It
blocks that replication of the DNA in the replication of
the virus, so taking a supplement with lysine. There's a
ton of foods that also include higher amounts of lysine

(20:45):
as well. But just thinking about immune boosting foods, whole
foods as much as you can, you know, fresh fruits,
fresh vegetables, whole foods, good quality sources of protein, whole grains,
and try to stick with that diet. I would say
seventy to eighty percent of the time. Sixty sometimes you
don't have to be you don't have to go crazy,

(21:06):
but just making sure that you are taking care of
your immune system and introducing foods that are high in
vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, and S. Those are
the immune boosting vitamins that are really great for managing
any virus and supplementing with them as well, making sure
you're taking good quality vitamin C, zinc, vitamin D the

(21:29):
immune boosting supplements in addition to L lysine. Green tea
is really good for HPV whether you want to drink
like green tea or macha. That's also really good, high
in antioxidants and really just you know, moderating the inflammatory foods.
So if you're dealing with chronic inflammation, that's going to

(21:51):
weaken your immune system and leave you more susceptible to
these viruses coming up or being persistent. So gluten, dairy, sugar,
all of the fave.

Speaker 2 (22:01):
Yeah, yeah, the good all the good stuff.

Speaker 3 (22:05):
This doesn't be cutting them out completely, like right right,
that's some ice cream in my freezer right now.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
And yeah, but I think this is just good advice
in general for for your health anyway, right, I mean
it's those are cancer preventing foods, the whole foods, the
vegetables of fruits, you know, those are foods that can
prevent heart disease. There are foods that can you know,
lowering your sugar can prevent diabetes. So it is not

(22:31):
just about managing vaginal vaginal health, you know that is
going to health be an overall anti inflammatory approach.

Speaker 3 (22:39):
Yeah, and it's it's really just managing your stress, you know,
keeping a healthy lifestyle. You can sure alcohol and moderation. Smoking.
I would say smoking cigarettes is bad for your immune system.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
I love cigarettes, right, is like confession, I love cigarettes.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
I don't smoke anymore, but you know I will always.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Just like the Chandler Bang.

Speaker 1 (23:08):
I will always yes, I will always be a Chandler Bang,
and you know, always want to smoke and see other
people smoke and be like, God, that looks so good,
Like you know, watching Yellowstone, watching Beth doesn't smoke a cigarette,
or watching Carrie on Sex and the City smoke a cigarette.

Speaker 4 (23:25):
Oh gosh, I'm just like, oh man, they make that
look so good.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
And I think it, you know, is the act itself
that I love, you know, and that I miss the
most because you know, even now when I'll smoke a cigarette,
I'm like, this is gross, Like it's nasty, right, like
the smell of the taste and all the things, But
the act itself, I will always have just this love
for so Confession of the Hour, Raina loves cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (23:52):
Okay, Judger, if you want to know our habits, you know,
but I think you know, when I comes to managing
these things, putting your health first is so very important
because if you don't feel good physically, it takes an
enormous toll on your mental health. And I'm glad that
you brought up stress. I think stress is such a
huge moderating factor. You know. I have a lot of

(24:17):
people don't know this, but I have a dual concentration
in health psychology, so social psychology health psychology. I was
very interested in the impact of disease on relationships and
our relational health and how you know, disease can alter
our romantic relationships and put a burden er a strain

(24:37):
on that, and then how social support can help our
immune system and help us manage chronic disease. You know,
that was one of my major interests when I came
into graduate school and inside of graduate school, and there's
a really strong relationship between having good social support, specifically
a healthy marriage, and the ability for your body to

(24:58):
manage chronic illnesses, including chronic viruses. So I'm sure that
there's literature out there that you know, if you have
a loving and supportive partner, you're probably less likely to
have outbreaks than if you do not, or if you're
in a marriage where there's a lot of stress.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
So interesting the psychosomatic connection to all of the same.
And when we were talking about rejection earlier, you know,
it is really a matter of creating that safety within
yourself and feeling safe in your body no matter what
life throws at you, no matter what type of you know,
situation you're in, but especially when you're when you feel

(25:38):
safe in a relationship and with your friendships and your family,
because that does help to kind of regulate your nervous system,
which helps you, you know, manage and prevent these viruses.
If you're in a constant state of stress and you
don't feel safe inside of yourself or externally in your
relationships and your work environment, whatever, that's going to trigger

(26:01):
your nervous system to be like up.

Speaker 2 (26:03):
Yeah, and that's like one hundred percent of my clientele. Yeah,
one hundred percent of my clientele are chronically dysregulated. And
of course I used to be as well, because when
you have relational trauma, especially relational trauma that starts in childhood,
you're a nervous system becomes wired towards being in a
fight or flight state, or even you know, in a

(26:24):
functional free state, which is that blended state between fight
and flight and then moving up into freeze and then
back down where you're just being fueled by adrenaline when
you're productive, and then when you're off, you're just like
dead in the bed right, you're bed routing. And so
many of my clients, because they've dealt with significant attachment
issues from childhood. They've lived there their entire lives. They

(26:46):
don't know what it feels like to be safe, and
I didn't until I was thirty nine years old, and
I struggled with so many physical health symptoms of just
about every variety. And so I think four individuals dealing
with these issues really becoming attachment secure, which at the
heart of that is nervous system regulation and stabilization and

(27:08):
being able to create safety in the relationship to self,
which then allows you to create safety in romantic relationships.
It's just probably a vital component or something that they
might want to seek out if they're dealing with these things,
because stress is such a moderating factor in the proliferation
of viruses in the body.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, and that's a lot of work. I mean, I
went real deep for a few years in my own
healing of my own trauma and stuff, because some of
this stuff is so subconscious and it's so deep that
you don't even know why you feel like this or
why these are happening, and you just think why me
and you feel Sometimes we'll fall into the victim mode

(27:49):
and not even realize that these things are happening for
a reason. And sometimes when these things come up, especially
if you're getting chronic herpies outbreaks or persistent HPV infections,
it's instead of I used to go into this like
spiral of shame and anxiety and what's wrong with me?
And what am I doing wrong? And I instead of

(28:11):
seeing it like that, I started to try to see
it as what is this trying to show me? And
what is this trying to teach me? And really trying
to understand what my body was literally screaming right at me.
And that's when I can kind of work backwards to
sort kind of understand patterns and connect dots and do

(28:31):
a lot of the deep emotional trauma work that was
really disregulating my nervous system causing my chronic at one point,
chronic symptoms.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Right, And it sucks like it was hard.

Speaker 4 (28:44):
Yeah, And I know that.

Speaker 1 (28:47):
I know that you also, I mean, we've talked a
lot about sti's STDs, but you also work with clients,
you know, who just want a healthier vagina, right, and
a healthier sex life. And so I'm curious how do
you help those people?

Speaker 4 (29:03):
Because I know a lot of our listeners are going
to be intrigued by just.

Speaker 1 (29:06):
Overall vaginal health, right, and a better sex life because overall,
a better vagina equals better sex.

Speaker 3 (29:14):
Yeah, and who it benefits everybody?

Speaker 2 (29:17):
Yeah, everybody's happier, that's right.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
I also help women who struggle with other chronic infections
like yeast and bb and UTIs because that's a whole
nother bacterial and fungal infections are also just ah other ballgame.
But it's really about learning about this stuff and understanding
how your diet can be crucial to your vaginal health
and how it is connected because it's essentially connected to

(29:43):
your gut health, and really just getting more in touch
with your body and learning what to eat that works
for you, not just what to eat, but how to eat.
And also just like sexual empowerment. You know, we've been
taught to be quiet about these things for so long,
but I think it's so important to talk about masturbation
and like pleasure and not just sexual pleasure, but like

(30:07):
our loving ourselves, right, because it took me a really
long time to learn how to love myself and unlearn
all the bs that I grew up learning from my
parents who did it right.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
Well.

Speaker 4 (30:19):
Yeah, yeah, and.

Speaker 3 (30:21):
Feel empowered in my body and confident in my body
and in my sexuality too, and in my relationships with
my friends and people, you know, my family as well.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
Yeah, And I think it's so much.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
It is so important to talk openly about sexuality. And
this is something that I tried really hard to do
with my son because I felt like, just so I
was a preacher's daughter and we were a little sheltered,
and so I feel like growing up, like sex in general,

(30:54):
always had this stigma that it was bad and that
you shouldn't do it and if you do it, then
you know you're damn dhill and when in reality, sex
is like the most normal thing there is, right, Like
everybody does it, like if if well, if any of
us have anything, the one thing in common we have

(31:16):
is that we all have sex, right, and we all
you know, And so it's like, why not normalize it
and talk about it more openly. So because what it
ended up happening for me, and what I tried not
to do with my son is to say, oh, no,
you can't have sex, right, No, I said, you're gonna
have sex. I know you're gonna have sex probably, you know,

(31:38):
I mean, yeah, do I wish you'd have sex, I mean,
get married and then have sex. Sure, every parent wishes that,
but that's not gonna happen. So you're gonna have sex.
And I'm here if you need to talk about it.
Because that I had the opposite effect, because sex felt
so taboo. It made me want to do it more,
you know, it made me want to I tried.

Speaker 4 (32:00):
It made it more interesting, It made it more like.

Speaker 2 (32:03):
Uh, reactance. There's actually a psychological term for that. It's
called reactance. Where you feel coarse or controlled or pressured
to not do something. Therefore you want to do it
more right.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
And it leads to things like sexual permiscuity right, And
I mean I can be a testament to it. I had,
you know, I had some sexual permiscuity in my life,
and I feel like because I mean, I remember the
day that my mom found out that I was having sex.
It was like the frickin' roof blew off the house,
you know, I mean, she was an emotional wreck and
thought it was like the end of the world. When

(32:36):
the best response she could have given me would have
been like, Okay, let's let me educate you, let's talk,
Let's let me give you some education on maybe the
risk that comes along with sex and you.

Speaker 4 (32:49):
Know, maybe what you shouldn't should and shouldn't do, and.

Speaker 2 (32:52):
That would have gone over so much better. Yeah. Absolutely,
And you know I have a teenage daughter now, she's fourteen,
and of course I do believe that that is too
young to be having sex.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
Luckily I think she agrees with me. But you know,
there's going to come a point in her life where
she's going to be potentially pressured and or wanting to
make this decision for herself. And you know, I do
emphasize that. I you know, my personal faith belief is
that God designed sex to be in the covenant of
marriage because of the protection that it offers, right, because

(33:25):
there are risks, right, and diseases and pregnancy and all
of those things are risks, and if those things happen
in the covenant of marriage, you're so much more psychologically protected, right,
if it's a good marriage. But that's not necessarily how
everybody's journey is going to play out, right, And I
don't have ultimately that control to be like, hey, yeah,

(33:46):
you're gonna I mean, what can I do handcuff myself
to her? Right, It's not gonna it's it's impossible to
know what choice she'll make, and so if she's going
to make a choice, I just want it to be
an educated choice, and I want it to be a
choice that will protect herself and that will help her
to be able to navigate the complexity as well.

Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, and I think as women, we just again like,
the more we talk about it, the more you release
the stigmas around it, the more natural it becomes, and
then there isn't the need for the permiscuity that comes
along with it. And then I think that's how you
prevent things.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
Like sti's STDs.

Speaker 1 (34:24):
It's through the knowledge, it's through talking about it, it's
through being honest and open. And I mean, honestly, that's
why when I found you, I was like, this woman
is so refreshing. I mean, it was just so refreshing
because it was really the first time that I saw
someone that was just like, no, I'm gonna talk about
this and I don't care what you say and I

(34:45):
don't care what.

Speaker 2 (34:46):
You think, and that is really brave. Yeah, even more
of that, and it's.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
So beautiful and again, just really refreshing.

Speaker 2 (34:53):
So thank you, yes, thank you for everything that you
do and for the education that you bring and and
like you mentioned, just things like chronic BV. Now they
have research coming out showing it sexually transmitted. And so
many women have been gas lit by being told like
you're just wearing your panties are too tight, or it's

(35:14):
this or it's that long. Yeah, and no, actually you're
getting it from your partner. And there are things like
you're aplasma for example, that are associated with or I
had pre prompt so my my daughter, my first daughter
was born five weeks early at spontaneous rupture of the membranes,
and then found out later with my second child that

(35:37):
I had europlasma, which is a bacteria and it can
cause rupture of the membranes. And I remember thinking, oh,
my gosh, did my husband cheat on me while he
was cheating on me? For sure, he's cheating on me
the whole time, and I didn't know it. But my
provider was like, well, not necessarily. You know, it's not
something that likes routinely tested for. He could have had
this forever and then you know, we just it's not

(35:58):
something we routinely test for. And I do think they
should routinely test women for it if it's related to
early birth or rupture of the membranes. And there are
so many things that we need to be talking about
and considering that we're not. And I know that women
who struggle with chronic yeast, chronic BV, chronic UTIs, it's
really really hard on them, and we need more information

(36:21):
to help women versus just well, here's your next round
of antibiotics. And then they're on this like vicious cycle
of like, why I took antibiotics for my BV. You know,
I have a yeast infection, I got some miss and
then you know, everything gets messed up.

Speaker 4 (36:34):
Yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (36:35):
I've had women come to me crying because they have
been on rounds of BV because their doctors have misdiagnosed
them with BV. And I said, go back to your
doctor and ask them to test you for Uia plasma
or michael plasma, which is another very suborn strain of
bacteria that acts that feels like BV easter UTI, but

(36:57):
is a completely completely different bacteria. Sure enough positive, So
her doctor has been testing her and treating her for
the wrong bacteria for so long with the wrong antibiotics.

Speaker 2 (37:09):
Reckon, forget Yeah, I.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
Forgot destroying her emotional and mental health because of it,
and it's just so frustrating that, you know, we really
have to be our own health advocates. Like, obviously we
need our medical system, we need our doctors, we need treatment,
we need medication, but sometimes the doctors don't get it
right right, right. And if your systems are chronic and

(37:34):
you know you are treating them and you're getting treated
and taking the medication and they come back, you know,
it's so important for you to understand that you got
to be your own health advocate and either research or
find me.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
I am such a fanopolistic medicine, I honestly, and this
is so terrible. Other than the surgeries that I've had,
I don't think I've ever been helped by one single
mainstream doctor in my.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Life.

Speaker 4 (38:02):
But your leg is broken, Like you need a medical.

Speaker 2 (38:05):
Right, I mean there are certain things, yeah that I mean,
you know, modern medicine has has really helped my mom
who's had pancreatic cancer. But there but I'm also like,
at the same time, we probably have natural ways to
treat so many things that we either just don't know
about or people aren't going to the right providers to
be able to get access.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
Our food system is flawed, you know, we all know that,
and it's it's leading to more a lot more than
what we even realize. But I think the good news is,
you know, I think the human race is like we're.

Speaker 4 (38:41):
Becoming more conscious of it more and more every single day,
and with every every generation.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
You know, I think that maybe not definitely not ours
or you know, JP's my son and maybe not even
his children, but maybe the generation after that, like we
can get it right in terms of like going back
to those old holistic ways of you know, healthy food
that's not full of preservatives and actually addicting us to

(39:07):
things like sugar.

Speaker 4 (39:08):
You know, that's just keeping.

Speaker 2 (39:10):
Us in this actually addicted to sharpness. I am fully
addicted to sugar, and I have given it up before
in my life and felt a million times better mutter
and then I mean it doesn't take much for me though.

Speaker 1 (39:23):
Man.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
It takes like one crumble cookie or like some ice
cream and then I'm like break back there, you know,
And that is actually a goal that I have this summer,
is like nope, I'm cutting this crap out and my
kids are going to eat less of it, and we
are not gonna have all the fatty cakes in the camper.

Speaker 3 (39:42):
You know.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
And I've had seasons of life, you know where you know,
I've like no, no sugar at all, and the other times,
you know, I've gone full, you know, fat girl on sugar,
and then other times, you know, it's just a moderation
thing for me now where I'm just like okay, every once.

Speaker 2 (39:56):
In a while, I everything I eat, I feel like
I need something sweet.

Speaker 4 (40:00):
Now had to put me in a stray jacket.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
Bad, no, so bad.

Speaker 3 (40:06):
The reason why I started the Yoni Nutritionists because I
had something called candida overgrowth, which was basically a systemic
yeast overgrowth that took over my whole body. Like I
had crazy chronic symptoms that I didn't even realize that
were connected to my gut health. And this like overgrowth
of bad bacteria and fungus, and I was getting like

(40:27):
recurring monthly yeast infections for a year. I had cystic
acne on my face like bad, Like it was very bad.
I was embarrassed to go out in public. I was
chronically fatigued. I was sick all the time. It was miserable,
and my doctor at one point just told me he
couldn't help me. He didn't know what to do because
he would just send me home with prescriptions and I'd

(40:48):
be back two weeks later something's wrong and he's like,
I don't know what to do. And this was before
I even became a nutritionist. So I learned about this
candida overgrowth and I had to change do this pretty
strict elimination diet and clean it up and do it
for about four weeks, and my symptoms cleared up in
four weeks once I changed my diet.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
Food.

Speaker 2 (41:11):
Yes, life, it is life. And I think food and
stress are the two biggest things that we need to
get under control for our health because I know that,
Like when I had vestibular migraine, I was on a
completely whole I mean they put me on this most
restrictive diet humanly possible. I mean I got so skinny
because I could only eat like a handful of things
and it was all whole foods, and it was great,

(41:32):
probably for my health, but you know, it was my stress.
It was my nervous system that was so wrecked that
that was really the cause of these migraines. It wasn't
like a glass of red win er. It wasn't you
know this this, or that it was my stress, and
then once I was able to really truly heal my

(41:53):
nervous system, that my symptoms went away. And so I
think that there is such a huge, huge stress component
to all chronic illness that is not taken into consideration,
or it's taken into too much consideration sometimes, right Like
people go to the doctor and like, oh, you're just
stressed out. Well, okay, that might be part of it,

(42:14):
but usually these things are very synergistic, right Like, there's
multiple complex factors, and we have to be able to
look holistically at the issue of like, Okay, let's look
at your diet, let's look at your stress levels, you know,
let's look at whatever supplement you're taking. Let's look at
you know, whether you exercise, or how much sleep you're getting.
All of those things are really important and we have

(42:34):
to we have to tackle it from the whole picture.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
I think, yeah, yeah, and sometimes doctors, unfortunately are missing
that piece of the puzzle.

Speaker 2 (42:44):
And I feel like they are more often than not,
not to interrupt you, sorry, but yeah, more often than not,
or I don't.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
Want to say, I was going to, yeah, missing that
piece and It's hard because you know, everybody trusts their
doctors and relies on their doctors and just wants a
quick fix and a quick pill. But sometimes it takes
so much more to address the root causes of any
chronic health issue, and people would rather avoid that because

(43:11):
of other They don't feel like they deserve to feel better.
They don't want to feel better. They want to stay
stuck in those old habits. They don't want to change,
they don't want to do the work and grow and
give up all their comfort foods. And I'm like, well,
especially when it comes to women telling me their sex
life is, you know, completely struggling, their relationships are struggling,

(43:33):
and I'm like, what would you rather do? Eat the
cake or have sex?

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Yeah, I mean at the end of the day, you know,
we don't always get to eat our cake or have
our cake and eat it too or as they say, yeah.
And for me, I know, particularly for managing chronic health symptoms,
and this is just in general, like my gut issues,
the things that I've had, especially that we're associated with trauma.
Sleep was huge, it was huge, and when you have

(43:58):
a nervous system that is to stry related sleep becomes
nearly impossible. And I'm probably sleep better now than I
have in a really, really long time. And I've noticed
that that is such a huge, huge component for me
of feeling good and managing the trauma symptoms that are
still lingering for me. If I get good sleep, I

(44:19):
really don't have anything going on. If I have a
bad night of sleep, and usually that bad night of
sleep is my fault, then I'm miserable. I'm miserable. Everything
flares up.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, Well, and then I have always felt too if
the more tired you are, the more apt I am
to grab things that are not good for me.

Speaker 4 (44:39):
Yeah, interns of food.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
So it exactly really is like the foundation.

Speaker 2 (44:42):
It is the foundation, and it's of the synergy. Yeah,
because you have to have self regulatory ability to be
able to make good choices. And when you think about
self regulation being like this gas tank, so work stress
takes from it, not sleeping takes from it, Relational stress
takes from it, you know, the stress of having some

(45:02):
kind of diagnosis that maybe chronic takes from it. And
so then it makes it even harder to make these
choices right. And so we have to have support in
multiple areas in place for us to have the self
regulatory power to make the good choices. Right, So start
with one thing. Start with one thing, right, don't try
to tackle it. This is what I would tell people,

(45:24):
and what I learned on my journey is like, don't
tackle everything at once. Start with one thing, get really
good at it, and then add something else in. Like
if it's your diet, okay, great, if it's sleep okay,
whatever it is, start with one thing and then just
slowly try to add things in because you can kind
of get that sort of paralysis of like overload of

(45:44):
like I have to change everything in my life and
I don't know how to do that, so then I
can't change anything.

Speaker 1 (45:48):
I'm frozen, right, Yeah, And it doesn't have to be
that way. And I think, speaking of synergy, just the
two of you all, you know, each of you have
something so unique and special to offer in terms of
all the things that really matter to get your physical
and mental health under control.

Speaker 4 (46:05):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
I think for our listeners, this could not be a
more beautiful little situation, right, Like, I just think it's
it's so special because I mean, obviously, Doc, you're gonna
help people with nervous system regulation and relational trauma and
then you know, you owning nutritionist Adrian, You're gonna help people,

(46:26):
you know, with their their nutritional health and their vaginal
health and their sex life. And you know that is
a beautiful marriage right there. Y, I love it, and
we're so thankful for you to come on and to talk.

Speaker 4 (46:39):
To us about things.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
I'm just so honored to like get to meet you
in person, you know, cause it's funny, like and I
know some of your your followers do this, but like
when you see influencers on social media, like it's like
they're famous, you know, and then like and then you
see them in real life and you get to talk
to them and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm like
such a fan, and like you guys are like famous,

(47:01):
Oh y'all are y'all are famous? And I'm just I'm
glad to know you both. And I'm I mean, I
think that I can speak as maybe an outsider here
and for our listeners, what you all are offering the
world is so valuable and it's it's.

Speaker 4 (47:18):
Changing the world and it's saving.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Lives and it's it's just it's so powerful. It is
so powerful, and I'm just so thankful to know both
of you.

Speaker 4 (47:27):
Thank you, Yes and.

Speaker 1 (47:30):
Adrian, thank you so much for coming on here. And
just tell our listeners where they can find you.

Speaker 3 (47:36):
Find me on Instagram at yony Nutritionists. That's my main
hub of communication and all of the things that I
share and do. O. I'm also on TikTok at Yony Nutritionists.
You can find my website yoninutritionists dot com and those
are my main pages.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
Perfect and then your services, tell our listeners just a
little bit about your services.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
So I offer four different online self guided programs and
guides for the four different vaginal infections that I specialize in.
So I have one for yeast infections, I have one
for BV infections, and I have a Herpes guide and
an HPV healing Guide. I offer one on one support
and coaching, and I have a Herpes women's group support

(48:21):
program where we do monthly group support calls. And those
are really fun because it's all kinds of tea.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Oh my god, that is so important, guys, Oh my god,
just for the tea.

Speaker 3 (48:39):
We do have some good chats. Yeah, And it's so
nice to have a community of people where you feel
like you're not alone when you're dealing with these things
and you're crazy because we're all going through it in
our different ways, but we have all of the same
emotions around these things, and being in community with other
women is just so powerful and empowering. So thank you

(49:01):
so much for having me.

Speaker 2 (49:02):
Thank you, thank you for being on here. And we
really just hope that that if you are impacted by
an STI a chronic one, or you struggle with chronic
vaginal infections, or you struggle with you know, self confidence
around those things, please check out the Yoni Nutritionist and
her services because she is out there bringing not only

(49:25):
awareness and confidence back to individuals who are struggling with
these things, but she's also bringing healing into the world
and we appreciate that so much.

Speaker 1 (49:33):
Yes, and authenticity, Yes, amen to all the authenticity.

Speaker 4 (49:38):
Like that's just it's so regularly.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
It's just very commendable.

Speaker 4 (49:42):
Also to all of.

Speaker 1 (49:42):
Our listeners, of course, go check out doctor Hinsley services
while you're there checking out the Yoni Nutritionist at.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
The lovedoc dot com.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
For our listeners, we have a special promo code love
Doc twenty seven for twenty seven percent off doctor Hinsley Services,
and of course we have to take a moment to
thank our sponsor, Cozy Earth.

Speaker 4 (49:59):
We love you you, Adrian. If you haven't tried anything
Cozy Earth, do it because.

Speaker 2 (50:04):
We'll make your life exponentially better.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Their pj's are made from the viscous of bamboo.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Yes, and as their sheets are too.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Yeah, the sheets are our top notch, top notch. They
have a ten year warranty and a thirty day sleep guarantee.
Everything they have is the perfect gift for anyone.

Speaker 4 (50:23):
And with Father's Day coming up.

Speaker 2 (50:24):
Please go check out check out the sleep shorts.

Speaker 1 (50:26):
Sleep shorts or your Sarah's husband loves them. I'm gonna
have to get some for Josh for Father's Day. Go
see them at cozyearth dot com loh love dot.

Speaker 2 (50:35):
Yes for forty forty percent off, which is very generous.
We love you Cozy Earth, thank you so much for
sponsoring our podcast.

Speaker 4 (50:41):
And thank you Adrian.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
We love you.

Speaker 4 (50:44):
We're good.

Speaker 1 (50:44):
We're so glad to know you now, and listeners please
go follow Adrian at the Yoni Nutritionist, go check out
doctor Hensley and until next time, peace, love and perspective

(51:04):
be

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Episode 2, Season II | Sex & Intimacy Series: “Pleasure, Not Shame - STD Truths, Healing, and Sexual Empowerment with The Yoni Nutritionist”

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Episode 2, Season II | Sex & Intimacy Series: “Pleasure, Not Shame - STD Truths, Healing, and Sexual Empowerment with The Yoni Nutritionist”