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August 5, 2025 44 mins

Vanessa chats with "Spicy Ones" coach Mary Van Geffen for a conversation about what it really takes to parent strong-willed, defiant kids. Mary shares how her own journey—from being a spicy child herself to raising one—led her to become a gentle parenting coach. 

They swap tips on how to stay calm, kind, and firm even on the days your child pushes all your buttons. You'll hear why separating your worth from your child’s behavior is one of the most important things you can do as a mom, and how choosing to love your child unconditionally—even when they are hard to love—is actually a spiritual discipline.

If you’re raising a spicy one this is your reminder that you’re not broken, your kid’s not broken, and you’re not alone!

Mary has opened her Moms of Spicy Ones®️ group program back up. This 8 week course is the guide to building a beautiful (and durable) relationship with your strong-willed, intense powerhouse - no matter their age. Only listeners of this podcast get access to one of five exclusive $50 off coupons. The code is MOMFORCE. Registration is at https://www.maryvangeffen.com/moso

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1:00 "Very good moms can have wildly defiant children."

2:00 "A spicy one is loyal to their own soul more than to your agenda."

3:05 "We’re in charge—but we’re not always in control of them."

6:59 "Sometimes, it’s not the child that’s spicy—it’s the parent’s level of support and need for control."

10:02 "I want to reduce the number of children who grow up feeling like they’re wrong or broken."

17:01 "Parenting is a spiritual discipline, practicing unconditional love for someone who isn’t always lovable."

 

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