Crazy Women Dangling Carrots - SFTS74

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT === Perhaps more than anyone else out there who talks and writes about relationships, Emily and I really advise against dating crazy people...no matter what. But sometimes it's not as easy as throwing a blanket over the word 'don't' and leaving it at that. In this episode, I finally elaborate upon some of the subtle ways crazy chicks will somehow find ways to get you to stick around...even when you know they're stark raving nuts and will likely ruin your life. One of the key ways is 'carrot dangling'. As much as it sounds like an old-skool PUA tactic, it's really sort of the opposite. It's a weird but frustratingly effective tactic that just about any woman can use, frankly, but crazy women are especially fond of. Why is that? Well, it has an, um...insane way of getting us as guys to stick around when we really should be running away. Check out the brand new Substack at https://mountaintoppodcast.com/substack

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with your host Scot McKay
All right, gentlemen, this is your main man, Scot McKay, coming at you again with anothersnippet from the summit as part of the mountaintop podcast from X & Y communications.
If you've been listening to these podcasts or reading my newsletters even for a shorttime, you already know that I and my wife both survived first marriages respectively, of

(00:28):
course, to crazy people.
So both Emily and I are, of course, pretty much lockstep in recommending very highly
that you guys and you know, also women, let's face it, it's not gender specific, stay outof relationships with crazy people.
And by crazy people, I mean anybody who is under the care of a psychiatrist.

(00:49):
What I haven't done over the years is elaborate enough, I think, on the specific signs ofsomeone who is indeed a crazy person and therefore you should avoid getting into a
relationship with.
I've talked before about when people sort of stop making sense.
You're out on a date with them and they're talking about something like, you know,satellites watching them from outer space or a team of monkeys clean her bedroom at night.

(01:18):
Yeah, I know those uh are extremely random examples that are kind of making it sound likeI don't make any sense, but believe me, it makes sense in the sense of it not making
sense.
Other things like weird, strange actions that make you think, why is this person doingthis?
I had a woman, true story, sit in front of me on a date and open up a medicine vial.

(01:40):
She goes, let me show you something.
I'm like, what is this?
The meds you're taking for some crazy psychosis?
No, was arguably worse.
She had saved her kidney stones that she had passed over the past two years and she wasshowing them off to me on her first date.
That should have been a red flag, but it was only after she tried to throw my Toyotapickup truck into park on an interstate that I realized this woman really is cray cray and

(02:05):
I should stay away from her because really I'm just following the pattern of my firstmarriage all over again.
Yeah, you got to say to yourself, gentlemen, you're going to stop dating crazy women.
All right, now that you've done that, what next?
Well, there are more subtle signs someone is not on the same plane with uspsychologically.
And sometimes I think it's not that
the red flag there is harder to see or recognize.

(02:29):
I think when someone's acting crazy and they're not quite all there mentally, we know it.
We still see it.
It's just sometimes it's tantalizing to keep them around.
Now, the obvious stereotypical reason is that crazy women are amazing in bed.
In fact, let me assure you, it is a stereotype.

(02:50):
right?
Enough said.
But a lot of guys think, okay, you I'm gonna put this to the test.
Then what happens because you tested that hypothesis, she's exactly the same chick,weirdly and ironically enough, that we've always feared.
She ends up, for example, revoking consent the next morning, or telling you she'spregnant, or telling you she couldn't get pregnant, but voila, she could get pregnant.

(03:13):
All that crazy drama, borderline stuff.
You know, realistically speaking, it only happens when women are a little bit crazy.
Now, you may have also heard stereotypically that all women are crazy.
Well, that's not true either.
There are plenty of sane, normal women and they would be happy to act in the sane, normalway with you if you would just stop allowing women who are crazy into your life.

(03:37):
And it really is as simple as that.
This is not a change in habit I'm asking you to perform.
This is not even really much of a mindset shift.
Most of us as guys, if we're really honest with ourselves, would really like to stopattracting crazy women if that's what's been going on.
Gentlemen, it's a decision.
It's an on-off switch.

(03:58):
It's a binary moment in your life where you say, you know, self, I'm going to stopattracting crazy women.
And when I see red flags, I'm going to run the other way instead of saying, you know what,either it won't be so bad or I'll just take her for a test drive because crazy women are
wonderful in bed.
or you know, I'll fix her.

(04:19):
Aren't those famous last words, right?
But I want to let you in on another subtle way.
Crazy women will keep you in their lives and kind of keep you ensnared.
And that's this.
Now bear in mind, both Emily and I are firmly convinced, and indeed I've talked topsychiatrists who won't argue with us, that crazy people realize they're crazy.

(04:41):
They also
tend to make decisions to stay off their meds because they like the way they feel whenthey're crazy.
So they know the way they are and they like it that way.
And if that sounds far-fetched, consider alcoholism.
A lot of those guys would love to drink because they actually love the way they feel whenthey're drunk and therefore what do they do?
They fall off the wagon.

(05:01):
Well, other mental illnesses in my estimation, and I'm no psychiatrist, but I've seen alot.
In my estimation, I believe it's extremely possible and plausible
that crazy people like being crazy.
if they can cause you to put up with their crazy and perhaps think, well, all I deserve isa crazy person or all women are crazy.

(05:23):
Therefore all I'm ever going to attract are crazy women because those are the only onesavailable to me.
If that's your belief system, you're going to keep attracting those crazy women until youjust say no.
And even when they start weaving their petty pace in your life, not to go allShakespearean on you, but there you go.
They're going to find ways to keep you around and what they're going to do is what I calldangling the carrot.

(05:46):
A friend of mine said, Hey, you know what?
I have this woman who says she's bought me this amazing present.
It's a briefcase and I really need a briefcase for work.
And it's so nice of her to buy me one.
Maybe, you know, she's not so bad after all.
Maybe she's got some sanity there and I could put up with that.
Well, not only is that wishful thinking, but here's the pattern.

(06:07):
She's going to keep dangling that carrot.
You won't ever actually see a briefcase.
You'll invite her over for dinner or out on a date and the third, fourth, fifth, sixthdate will happen and it'll be like, no, yeah, no, I forgot it.
Yeah, next time we see each other for sure, I'll bring it.
Yeah, you know, and it's beautiful.
Or you know what, I forgot to wrap it.
Next time, you just have to wait a little bit longer.

(06:28):
I have to go to the store, find some wrap, then I'll give it to you.
Five, six, seven, eight dates later, you still don't have a briefcase, okay?
but she's dangling that carrot and you're still hopeful, you know, she's not crazy.
There's nothing wrong with her.
She just, you know, legitimately forgot my briefcase and I want that briefcase.
So that's what she's doing.
And that's how you're responding.
Could be that you lent her money and she's paying you back, but she's paying you back kindof with the slow drip method.

(06:54):
Okay, here's $20.
I'll give you another $40 next week.
I'll give you another $30 until finally the $500 she owes you is paid off.
She's literally buying your time.
wait for it on a payment plan and you're putting up with it.
Okay.
So, you know, the takeaway there ultimately is don't lend money to crazy women, but Idon't want to digress too far.

(07:14):
Okay.
Another way a woman may dangle a carrot for you is promising you to cook you a nice dinneror give you a massage or take you someplace special because you've been such a gentleman
and buying her dinner for so long and buying her presents and taking her on shopping datesthat she really just wants to pay you back.
But
No, not really.

(07:35):
You're going to keep paying for dates, taking her out to dinner again and again, and she'sgoing to keep reminding you and herself that she said she would do this for you and really
hasn't yet.
And of course, you can fill in the blanks with the fourth way women tend to dangle acarrot, and that's sexually.
You know, if you keep dating me and perhaps putting up with my moments of complete utterinsanity and the associated subtle or not so subtle ways that I'm just ruining your life

(08:01):
in the process,
then maybe you'll get a chance to have sex with me, or maybe you'll get a chance to haveanal sex with me, or whatever it is that's not happening yet sexually that she knows is a
bargaining chip with you.
She'll dangle it and she'll withhold it.
Now, not to be missed, a lot of women will dangle carrots even if they're not reallypsychotic.

(08:23):
So yes, if a woman is acting crazy,
and you're staying with her simply because she's dangling such a carrot, get over yourselfand make the clean break.
And she'll probably say, I'll go get that briefcase right now, or we can have sex rightnow.
But don't fall for it, gentlemen.
It's going to be the same old, same old, because she's crazy and she likes it that way.

(08:44):
In the specific case of carrot dangling, if a woman isn't insane, at least clinically,she's still not being very ethical with you.
She's still not being
a high quality human being with you if she keeps dangling that carrot.
So if you feel like you've exhausted your cycle of dating with her and it's over, don'tlet that carrot entice you into sticking around either.

(09:09):
Make that clean break gentlemen, always.
No matter what carrot is being dangled or who's dangling it.
Want to talk about this or anything else?
Scot at mountaintoppodcast.com.
Be good out there.
As always, visit mountaintoppodcast.com for more.

(09:30):
Love you.