Even Other Dating Gurus Fall Into This Trap - SFTS67

=== SNIPPETS FROM THE SUMMIT ===  Why is dating and relating to women seemingly so difficult nowadays? Well, it has everything to with post-modern pressures and expectations, of course. As it turns out, our grandparents who have been married for 50 years or more had it figured out all along. But weirdly, not only are most so-called 'dating experts' following the post-modern herd, they're even falling into the trap themselves...as in, with the women in their OWN lives. How did we get this far gone, and more importantly...how do we snap out of it and start relating to women again as humanoids before us did naturally for thousands of years? More at https://mountaintoppodcast.com

=== HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE TO GREAT MEN EVERYWHERE ===

The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. I discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave a review. As we say here in Texas, I appreciate you!

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
You're listening to Snippets from the Summit with
your host Scott McKay.
How's it going gentlemen my name is Scott
McKay and you are tuned in to yet
another Snippet from the Summit as part of
the Mountaintop podcast from X&Y Communications.
As you guys know already I talk till

(00:21):
I'm blue in the face about transactional relationships
and the pitfalls of them.
It used to be that people would get
together and have a partnership and you probably
have already noticed that a lot of the
old-timers out there are the ones whose
relationships last.
Yeah, I mean sure there's a time element
out there.
Someone 25, 30 years old from say Generation
Z can't have been married for 50 or

(00:43):
60 years already.
That just doesn't make sense in time, space,
or dimension.
But there really is no doubt about the
simple fact that people who are older tend
to have been married longer and tend to
stay married compared to well the litany of
couples you know who break up and never
make up here in the postmodern era.

(01:06):
Well you've heard me talk about transactional relationships
in terms of people getting together because of
what they can get out of the relationship
with relation to what they'd have to give
back to the relationship to make sure that
this other person in the bargain you know
their needs are met as well.
Well nowadays as I've discussed on this podcast
in the past, a lot of people and
I would say there's even leakage up into

(01:27):
you know middle-aged folks at this point
because of how society has trended towards this
phenomenon.
Basically of people getting into relationships saying okay
here's what I want you're gonna give it
to me.
There's not even any thought given to what
this other person's expecting out of the relationship.
They're just sort of expecting that this person
will be along for the ride to give
me what I want.
Call it the Siri effect.

(01:49):
Call it the well you know what the
effect of the incredibly fast development of AI
and its encroachment on our social values you
know and that could be a whole podcast
in and of itself but people are being
trained en masse to believe that you know
what the world revolves around me like I'm
a toddler like I'm a child a petulant

(02:11):
child who's spoiled and I deserve to get
what I want and I want to get
what I think I deserve.
Now on the other hand since 2005 the
URL for this particular practice the main one
has been deservewhatyouwant.com.
Yeah I know a lot of you guys
go to mountaintoppodcast.com get show notes and
everything that's all good but deservewhatyouwant.com is

(02:31):
basically the flagship website the jumping-off point
if you will for this entire practice and
even in the year 2005 20 years ago
two decades deserving what one wants was a
revolutionary concept.
I would say virtually all the dating advice
from that era and moving forward to today
was all about hey you know what you

(02:52):
already deserve this finally get the partner you
deserve etc etc without any feeling that you
have to earn this distinction of deserving something
in other words being the kind of person
someone else would want before expecting to get
the kind of partner you want.
Well nowadays I believe that we are in

(03:12):
grave danger of descending down the rabbit hole
of normalizing transactional relationships to the point of
no return and here is something scary I
noticed this week a particular dating guru who
will remain unnamed as you know I don't
want to infringe on his practice but I've
known him probably for 15 years now posted

(03:33):
one of those long self-absorbed screeds on
Facebook that's designed to capture your attention and
get you to read and really he's just
fishing for people to like and approve and
engage with him right he was talking about
how after all of these years he finally
found a woman who he thinks is his

(03:54):
forever partner you know his ride-or-die
and this Facebook post went on probably about
25 to 30 paragraphs not until the second
of the last paragraph was it written in
the first person plural it was first person
singular all the way until that point I

(04:16):
did this I realized it was up to
me to what I wanted I I I
me me me and bear in mind he
was writing a fluff piece about his ability
and his success in finding the relationship of
his dreams well guess what you know what
they say there's no I in team there's
no I in we either and gentlemen regardless

(04:39):
of how society is training us regardless of
how many times you've told Siri what to
do and gotten accustomed to it regardless of
how many interactions you're having with an AI
robot nowadays that's also dehumanizing your personal communications
right as you're talking to someone who well
really isn't a person the danger like I'm

(05:00):
saying is we're gonna go even deeper and
deeper into depersonalizing our actual IRL relationships with
women now if you think that's a good
idea you're probably already a man going his
own way one of the MGTO guys and
guess what go for it but go your
own way don't pretend you're gonna drag some
poor girl into this with you now that

(05:22):
poor girl probably has designs of her own
on having you do her bidding welcome to
why relationships don't last not only our relationships
basically expendable when you don't value the human
side of them at all but once they
outlast their welcome or once you realize this
person isn't gonna give me what I want
you're gonna be out of there and so

(05:43):
is she and when both people are vying
for what they want all the time and
prioritizing that well what other outcome can you
expect other than failure gentlemen we have to
go back to being humans again I mean
you know women are human beings we are
designed to be in partnership with female human
beings listen I've talked about the pressure on

(06:05):
the birth rate and on the family obviously
there's not going to be any nuclear family
there's not going to be any babies born
when people are basically being so transactional that
much is a given but I'm talking about
the more human side of all of this
today gentlemen when you find a woman who
you're absolutely hot for sexually and who you
actually like and whose values are the same

(06:27):
as yours and you actually know what's going
on inside her head the exponential value of
having that relationship in your life exceeds whatever
benefits materially speaking or even emotionally speaking that
either you or her are gonna get out
of it now listen here's the punchline even
though society is training us to treat transactional

(06:51):
relationships as normative again even dating gurus are
falling into this trap people who teach this
stuff who make a living off this stuff
have been falling into this trap it doesn't
change our primal archetypal need for human connection
and guess what guys if you're first in
line if you're the last man standing out

(07:13):
there apparently to announce to a perfectly good
woman that's who the hell you are I
bet you'll find that a lot of perfectly
good women are gonna find themselves snapping out
of that frame that society is imposing upon
us and remind themselves yeah you know what
that's what I've always wanted next thing you
know the two of you will be together
you'll be connecting you'll feel like you've known

(07:33):
each other ten years after two days right
she'll already be bragging about you to her
friends and oh yes by the way your
sex life is gonna be a whole lot
better than some woman you're in a transactional
relationship with let alone what your sex life
would be with a robot want to talk
about this or anything else Scott at mountaintop

(07:56):
podcast comm be good out as always visit
mountaintop podcast.com for more