How You're Getting in Your Own Way with Nicole Lohse

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Nicole Lohse (00:00):
Okay the kids having a temper tantrum, and if
a parent or caregiver meets itin a way where it's like, don't
have the temper tantrum, like,Get over yourself, like, you
know, distract or shaming, orwhatever it is that's imprinting
in their system. It's not okayto have feelings. It's not okay
to be an expression of my lackof needs that are being met, and

(00:22):
it's either entangling shameinto it or again, like, oh, the
distraction just makes me neveractually move through what I'm
experiencing and recognizing I'mokay. And that's the difference
in between nervous systemregulation versus dysregulation.
If we're constantly taught froman early age to feel a certain

(00:43):
way, to be a certain way, to beshamed when we are feeling that
instantly is teaching us tobecome dysregulated in how we
experience ourselves or howwe're ultimately being human.

Kate Harlow (00:58):
Hello, beautiful. I am so excited for you to hear
this incredibly just healingepisode you will be transformed.
Nicole Laos is just absolutely ahugely brilliant Somatic
Experiencing practitioner. She'strained in Feldenkrais in

(01:18):
internal family systems. Nicolebridges, science, spirituality
and lived experience, and she isso in alignment on the path. She
even does a little session withme in this episode, she's just
so walking the talk, helpingwomen humans, but all humans who
are stuck in their survivalpatterns, really get to know

(01:41):
their survival patterns and getto understand the nuances of
where our patterns come from andthe deeper traumas they're
trying to protect in such abeautiful, compassionate,
honoring way, like she helps youhave so much compassion for
these parts of yourself, andshows you how to start Living
more from your wholeness. Andher work is incredibly embodied.

(02:03):
It's incredibly powerful. She'sso brilliant and such a love and
such a magical like, like Earthfairy earth being. She's so, so
grounded, so heart centered, andjust Yeah, has a lot of wisdom
to share. And this episode is,it's a workshop, it really and
she does take me through aprocess. So get out your

(02:25):
notebook. Get out your journal.Um, enjoy the episode. Spread
all the word or spread the wordto all your all your friends.
Share this episode with anyoneyou know who you think could
benefit and enjoy.
Hello. Beautiful. Welcome to thenew truth podcast. Hi Nicole, Hi

Kate.

I'm so I'm so excited to do this. Have this
chat with you, and I first haveto share the hilarious moment
that just happened where I said,Do you want to ground? So just
for some context, every everyepisode Catherine and I have
done over the last, obviously,Catherine's not here anymore,
but over the last four and ahalf years, almost five years,

(03:15):
we always ground before everyepisode. And when we have guests
on, we ground, we do this littleit's actually psychosomatic, and
it's a three part thing to toget, you know, present and
connected to our bodies andconnected to each other. And I
said to Nicole, do you want toground before we recorded? And
she goes, You know me, I don'tneed grounding. I got five, I

(03:38):
got five planets in Taurus. AndI'm like, oh yeah. And I have
three so I think we're groundedenough. Let's go. We don't need
more grounding. We need morefire. So let's light the fire.

And I love it. It's funny too, because I, you
know, I often don't do muchgrounding, and even in my
programs, when I'm working withmy clients, it's not something I
guide people into because, notjust because, you know, it's
easy for me to be in that space,but also because what I teach is

(04:11):
more how can we be with ourexperience, instead of always
trying to change our experience?And I think people are really
caught up in resourcingthemselves. And, you know,
having these strategies, thesegrounding practices, and all
these things, the list oftoolboxes, which, of course, is
important. I'm not saying it'snot important, but I really want

(04:32):
to invite people to recognizethe difference of like, I'm I'm
doing something to change myexperience, versus how do I
pause and actually justacknowledge what it is I'm
experiencing

totally because it's, it's like, that's what
people have done to us our wholelives. Is like, change how your
feet, like a little kid's havinga temper tantrum. And it's like,
there people are just trying tochange the experience to, like,
be happy. Look you got icecream. Like, look over here.

And. Can drag you from feeling, yeah, instead of
actually just being with, youknow,

totally like, what you're when the sunset is there,
you're just, like, with it. Nomatter what the sunset is,
you're with the sunset. Can yoube with? I love that. And, and,
yeah, I just, I think there's alot of a lot of things in
healing that then get takenlike, it will really, like, the
ego gets a hold of it, and thenit becomes this thing that we
use against ourselves or thatwe're in instead of actually

(05:25):
something to support you.

Yeah, we can even use that kid with the ice cream
as an example, right? It's like,okay, the kid's having a temper
tantrum. And if a parent orcaregiver meets it in a way
where it's like, don't have thetemper tantrum, like, Get over
yourself, like, you know,distract or shaming, or whatever
it is that's imprinting in theirsystem. It's not okay to have

(05:48):
feelings. It's not okay to be anexpression of my lack of needs
that are being met, and it'seither entangling shame into it
or again, like, oh, thedistraction just makes me never
actually move through what I'mexperiencing and recognizing I'm
okay. And that's the differencein between nervous system

(06:08):
regulation versus dysregulation.If we're constantly taught from
an early age to feel a certainway, to be a certain way, to be
shamed when we are feeling thatinstantly is teaching us to
become dysregulated in how weexperience ourselves, or how
we're ultimately being human,versus if the kid with an ice

(06:31):
cream is having a tantrum, andwe meet them in that like, Hey,
I see you're upset. And ofcourse, easier said than done
when we're in our owndysregulation. But I'm just
going to hold this, yeah,example. But you know, if we
hold that space of like I seeyou're upset, I acknowledge what
you're experiencing, if we canhold our own sense of space and

(06:55):
our own sense of presence withwhat is for this little kid, we
are holding a coherent field, afield of safety and connection.
We are in our own regulation,and we're inviting them to move
through whatever they'reexperiencing back into
realizing, like, yeah, actually,this is what I'm missing. This

(07:17):
is why I'm upset. Of course,depending on the age. They can't
necessarily vocalize what theyactually need in that moment,
but you're at least holding thisresonant field for them to
attune, to to realize that it'ssafe. They can have their
experience. They can movethrough their experience. And
we're there for them. That'svery different, and that's what
actually teaches them to throughour CO regulation, they are

(07:42):
learning how to self regulatethemselves. And this is, you
know, it actually makes me quitefrustrated how these words, like
regulating the nervous systemare being thrown around, because
I think we're missing a littleeducation around that, because
people think like, oh, toregulate my nervous system, I
just need to settle and whatactually needs to happen is we

(08:05):
actually need to create spacefor what it is we're
experiencing, to move through itand realize we're okay. And
again, depending on ourupbringing, our developmental
trauma, there's lots that canimpact our ability to do that.
But regulating your nervoussystem isn't just about calming
yourself down a regulating,ready? Regulating your nervous

(08:25):
system is moving through whatyou're experiencing and realize
you're okay. You belong. Youknow, we're here for you,

yeah, and even the example you just gave that that
that like that little kidsnaturally knows how to do that,
right? Because that's whatthey're doing totally and we we
only don't know how to do thatbecause when we were little, we,
like all those examples yougave, we were shut down from our
feeling, our feelings fully, andactually, from and having

(08:54):
someone be able to just hold thespace and witness it and be with
it and allow it to be okay. Sothat's

holding a presence, right? Exactly. We're
in our own dysregulation and inour own chaos, then there's
nothing to attune to. But whenwe can hold that presence and
that, yes, I got you, I see you,it's such a different
experience.

And that's what you know, I think of all the parents
who have a hard time doing thatand sending love to all the
moms. I was looked after myniece without my brother for
well, my parents were there,but, but I was the primary
caregiver for five days. Andshe's a manifesting she's a
manifesting generator. And athree year old, oh my, she has
almost all her centers defined,and she has a Leo in the inside.

(09:38):
She's like a Leo. Oh my, and aLeo rising Leo moon. I looked up
her chart, and I'm like, Oh, Iget you girl. Like, at the end
of the week, it was such aspecial experience. But, man, I
just want to shout out to allthe moms out there, like, whoa.
You. What you're doing is like,next level. It is next level
human. Because, I mean, how manymoms? It's pretty rare that. Mom

(10:00):
goes into parenting with areally regulated or with a
regulated system, with theawareness, with the ability to
actually be with her ownfeelings, because that's what
the mom needs to is, right? Ifyou're holding the space for
your kids, you also need to holdthe space for yourself, and
that's how you come in. What'sthe word you used? Co? Was it co

(10:20):
regulation?

CO regulation? To co regulate? Yeah, we have to be
in have regular, a regulatednervous system. So let's define
regulated a regulated nervoussystem, because that can be
helpful to have a regulatednervous system means that you
have the ability to be flexible,you have stability, but you also
have flexibility to navigatewhatever changes are happening

(10:44):
within your environment. So itdoesn't mean that you're always
just calm and settled. And it'sabout being fluid, being
flexible, being able to adaptrelative to the present moment.
So another way we can speak toit is the window of tolerance,
or your window of capacity. Howmuch capacity do you have to
navigate the given moment? Doyou move into dysregulation

(11:07):
pretty quickly? Then your windowis pretty small. You're not
alone. Most of the world has apretty damn small window, or
they live in the faux window

where, well, the ones that live in America, we're
more we're more chill over here.Yeah. Good point. Good point.

Um, yeah. Right. So the more capacity we have,
the bigger, bigger window wehave, the bigger sign of nervous
system regulation that that'swhat that indicates, yeah.

So you keep saying Calm down, and it makes me every
time you say it, I'm like, thereason so we do it to ourselves
now, like, I just need to calmdown and do meditation. But
like, well, how many times as akid did you get here, hit, did
you hear the term, the termphrase, calm down, calm down,
just calm down, just calm down,just calm down. Just got and
then, like, our

(11:53):
spouses say neither of us havespouses, but people spouses say
it, you know, because

why we don't have spouses? Because if someone told
us to calm down exactly, you

know, I have five Taurus planets. Get out of my
way. Don't tell me what to do.But, but calm down. You hear it
everywhere, right? And then, andthen everything is about, like,
oh, you feel bad. Just like,breathe deeper. Calm down. Like,
do it. Like, I used to do thatto myself, where I'd be in bed,

(12:24):
spinning my wheels with anxiety,and I try and do, like, a
hypnotherapy thing, and I would,like, get worse, yeah, and I
didn't understand it. Andactually, the game changer tool
for me, that I that I teach alot of women, or I do with women
at the immersion or share itwith my clients, is, do you
know? Michaela Boehm, nononlinear movement. Okay, it's a

(12:46):
I studied for a year, or not ayear. I did her level one
training nonlinear movement. Youwould love it. It's I'll send
her, I'll send you her stuffafter but nonlinear movement is
based on somatic experiencing,and you get on your hands and
knees. That's where you start.With your eyes closed, and you
put on non linear movement musicwhich is non lyrical, like no

(13:09):
words, just music to tofacilitate the journey. You
close your eyes and you justnotice what you feel, and then
you move as that feeling. Andthen you and then you let your
body do the rest, and she doesguided ones. But it's really,
really powerful, because it thefeelings, of course, change, but
you're not doing it to changethe feelings. You're doing it to

(13:30):
actually, and sometimes, like,I'll, I'll be feeling one
feeling, and then all of asudden I'm screaming, and then
I'm crying, and then I or, like,sometimes I'm not, it's more
like joyful or pleasurable, butit's, it's like letting it work
itself out, rather than yourmind trying to do it.

Yeah, it's more bottom up versus top down. So
top down has that that agenda,whether it's calm down or change
the experience, or, I'm surewe'll dive deeper into all the
ways we can top down, our wayout of things, versus bottom up,
is learning to listen to what'shappening on the inside or
what's happening in theexperience, and how do we follow

(14:08):
that? So there's, there's,again, acknowledging what is and
letting it take shape, andhowever it wants to take shape,
is what you're describing. And Ido want to name for some people
that can be really hard. So youknow, for some people, they
might not at all like non linearmovement or even being asked the

(14:32):
question like, What are younoticing on the inside? Are What

are you feeling? Yeah,

because listening is too scary, is too much. So
just acknowledging that, as wellas if you grew up in a childhood
home, or through your childhood,grew up in a way where you
weren't supported to listenright? You weren't supported in
your yeses and nos and in yourcuriosities and finding your own

(14:59):
edges. Is of what's okay and notokay for you, if you were always
told how you had to be, what wasokay not okay, you didn't get to
listen to yourself. You had theexternal world telling you what
you needed to be or and youprobably still seek the external
validation and are needing theguidance, because you never got

(15:23):
taught or supported to guideyourself into your own
discovery, right? So I just wantto name that, because I know a
lot of people have a hard timegoing inward or knowing how to
listen or being with andacknowledging what they're
experiencing. And it's likethis, the starting point is just
acknowledge you don't know. Andit makes sense that you don't

(15:46):
know because you grew up in away where it wasn't you weren't
in an environment where it wassupported. You had to ship shape
shift, or you had to besomething that you were expected
to be, because your lifedepended on it.

Yes, yeah, absolutely. Thank you for that.
So what? So what would yousuggest for people like that,
where it's they try, you know,different tools to actually feel
whatever's there but they can'taccess it. What? What do you
what would you suggest?

I'm a big fan of the practice of acknowledgement,
so pausing and noticing whatwe're experiencing and
acknowledging like this is whatit is. So when someone asks me
to go inward, I feel nothing.Great. I'm acknowledging I feel
nothing. It's really hard for meto go inward. When someone asks
me what I want for dinner, and Idon't know I can acknowledge

(16:40):
that, yeah, I have a hard timemaking decisions, but I also
don't know, because I've neverhad the opportunity to really
listen and discover what I want.Like, just the acknowledgement,
to me is one of the richestpractices. Like, yeah, I need
external validation. Great.There's a reason why. Right?

(17:01):
Okay, perfect. Can I then,through that acknowledgement,
start to get curious on whathappens when I inquire inward?
It's probably really scary, andthat's why you're kept out of
your experience, because it's sounknown, unfamiliar, and in the
past, there would have beenconsequences if you were just
yourself, right? So it'sstarting to hold these different

(17:24):
layers that are at play, thetrauma and the survival pattern.
The trauma being, you know, itwasn't okay to be yourself,
because something, anythingcould have happened, whether a
raised voice ignored abuse, youknow, the list can go on shame
Exactly. So it's kind of likethat's the trauma, and we can

(17:46):
speak a little bit more to whattrauma actually is in a moment,
but it's like, there's thetrauma, but then we have the
survival patterns we'vedeveloped as a result of our
trauma. Because we don't want tofeel that pain, we don't want to
feel the shame, we don't want tofeel the terror, whatever is at
the core of that, right? Andthose brilliant survival

(18:06):
patterns are like, Oh, I'm goingto shape shift. I'm going to
people please. I'm going to staysmall, I'm going to be overly
confident, you know, and bereally good at all the sports
and and activities that I do,and we can have endless survival
patterns, and you have somegreat archetypes that you speak
to is in ways to categorizesurvival patterns, right? And

(18:30):
it's like, okay, there's areason why we did that. We're
doing these survival patterns.We're existing in the world, and
these survival patterns to helpus not feel our trauma,
something that was too much, orsomething that was missing, or
there's so many layers to again,what trauma is, yeah, then

(18:51):
there's, there's more. I'll justmap out everything, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Go the way I like to seeit,

right? I love how you I just want to acknowledge
you. I love how you articulateeverything, you're just such a
it's so clear. It feels Yeah,it's amazing. Anyways, carry on.

So how I see the world or ourself and our
patterns is Yeah, at the core,we've got our trauma, then we
have these survival patternsthat were needed. We had to
adapt, yeah. Do not feel thepain, the shame, the terror,
then we have how we feel towardsour survival patterns, and this
is where I find we get so stuck,and this is how we get in our

(19:30):
way, right? So me, for example,I am still navigating layers of
being seen, and I am frustratedwith it. I am over it. I just
want it to be different. It'slike, what do I need to do to
fix this pattern of mine that'srooted in being seen right? And

(19:51):
this is where I really inviteyou all to notice, like in this
present day, how do you feelabout these survival patterns
that have. Played a reallyimportant role in your life,
because that's a really hugenugget to pay attention to. So
if I take my being seen piece,for example, my fear of being

(20:12):
seen, you know, I can feel I caninquire into it. I feel myself
get smaller. I feel my eyesdarting around a little bit more
and paying attention to whathappens in my physiology,
because it's easy for me, butsome of you might not
necessarily notice what'shappening in your body and your
physiology, but you know what itfeels like to be small, like,
you know what it feels like tobe still, to hide, right? So

(20:36):
it's like, okay, yeah, you canrelate to this pattern. That's
really important. It servespurpose, and then I've have my
frustration towards it, and Ilike to differentiate it as the
pattern is usually stuck intime. It's a fragmented piece of
me that's looping in thisexperience that's relative to my
trauma. And it's, you know, it'snot the here and now version of

(20:57):
me, it's a fragmented piece ofme. But then I have the present
me who is frustrated and annoyedand just wants it to be
different, and I'm signing upfor all these courses. I'm not
because now I'm a bit stubbornwith who I work with, but you're
a hermit, kind of a hermit, butyou know, I'm looking for all

(21:19):
the answers. I'm I'm bookingthis session. I'm booking that
session. I just want to workwith this piece, but I'm in
conflict with the survivalpattern that's like, No, I have
to stay small. I can't be seen,or else I'm going to die. And I
know, because of the layers ofwork I've done with this piece,
it is intergenerational. It goesback generations, and it's

(21:40):
understandable that previousgenerations had to conform, had
to stay silent, couldn't beseen, because they'd be
outcasted, they'd be shunned,they'd be ostracized, they'd be
killed, right? So when I canhold the awareness of my
intergenerational thread here,it instantly gives me a bit more
space and understanding. Andthen I have a little more

(22:04):
compassion for the ways I needto stay small and I'm separate
from it now, and I see it as afragmentation, whereas when I am
in the conflict or in thefrustration, I'm just butting
heads with the thing that feelslike it has to do that right?
I'm not going to get anywhere.If I'm continuously trying to

(22:25):
find the answer, if I'mcontinuously trying to fix this
part, if I'm continuouslysigning up for a million courses
and reading all the books andlistening to all the podcasts,
it's like no what actually needsto happen is I have to see the
different layers that are atplay, my trauma,
intergenerational past life,whatever the trauma, the
survival pattern that has beenadapted to help me not feel

(22:47):
that, the shame, the pain, theterror, how I feel towards the
pattern, because it's alsounderstandable. I have
frustration, but I can pan out,and I can hold it with more
grace. I can hold it with withand I I'm I want to be clear. I
can hold it because I can seethe layers, and I understand the
trauma. For some people, it'slike I can see the layers, but I

(23:11):
still have an agenda. I stillwant it to be different. And
that's it's really hard to findgrace from that place, yes, so
it takes,

it's also really hard for the shift to occur from
that place, like thetransformation to occur if
you're attached to the result,

yes, exactly. So the practice here is starting to
untangle and see the layers atplay, because then we can pan
out and hold it from more of asense of self, place of
wholeness, a place of coherence,where we get to be the empathic
witness for these layers thatare at play, just like the kid

(23:47):
that you know is having ameltdown with his ice cream, a
temper tantrum, it's lacking thekids lacking the empathic
witness. So how do we become theempathic witness for our
fragmented pieces so we can havemore grace and understanding for
all the different ways we showup in the world, and we start to
live more from this place ofgrace and compassion and ease,

(24:12):
instead of the chaos andconstantly trying to fix. And
you know, I'm doing that again,giving yourself hard time. It
makes sense you do that, and canyou pan out and acknowledge that
you're doing that?

Yeah, I love that. I love your language, the
empathic witness. I forgot thatterminology I I took a year
program with Nicole. It was soincredible. And we were really
just being the empathicwitnesses for ourselves and each
other. It was such an incrediblecontainer. And I love that, even

(24:44):
even the whole map in thepicture, because it it for
everyone listening who's juststuck in the pattern side, and
in the trauma and in the thejudge, and then the feelings
about the thing, and just.Stuck. It's like a foop fucking
loop where you just, like,stuck. I didn't invent it, but I

(25:07):
love it too. Fucking loop, foop.I always say foop. And people
like, what's a foop? But you'relike, stuck in that foop and,
and isn't it nice? Because evenjust by us having this
conversation. It's a moment ofpanning out and realizing, Oh,
there's another part of you andthat that's there. I call it
your hair when you call it TheEmpathic witness, like that part

(25:28):
has always been there and itnever left, and it's just
waiting for you exactly,

yeah. So let's, let's even map one out. Let's,
are you open to mapping one ofyours out? Kate, and that way
other people can kind ofpractice mapping, mapping, yeah.
So what's one of your patternsthat you're working with?

Oh, oh, gosh. What am I working with?

Or anything you're wanting to be different,
frustrated with? Maybe you'renot

the big, I'd say the biggest thing I'm noticing,
or I'm experiencing right now isthe all the stuff that keeps
coming up about going to Kenya,even though, and I keep saying
I'm moving to Kenya, I'm goingfor six months. I don't know how
long I'm staying. It's totallyopen. It's an experience. I
spent four and a half monthsthere last year, but it's
actually happened every timeI've gone where my mind is like,

(26:22):
what are you doing? So right nowI've got my apartment, and my
mind is like, set like, youshould need to stay here. Like,
this is so good. Grease has beenso good for you. You've changed
so much. Like, as if, like,goodbye, Grace forever. I'm
never gonna see you again. Likeit, yeah. And so that's, that's
the thing that I'm working withthe most right now,

perfect, great. So we can call that a survival
pattern. There's a part of youthat's trying to hold on to, I'm
hearing security, familiarity,maybe, right? So there, it's
really set on, like, keeping youthere. It wants to have you. You

(26:59):
know? Why would you change?Things are good here. You're
part of the community. Everyoneloves you, and you love them
back. There's just such abeautiful exchange there. And
this kind of, also sense of,potentially it ending like this,
is it with you leaving right?There's some sort of experience
within that. So we'll call thatyour survival pattern and and

(27:20):
I'll invite those listening likethe way I like to map it out is
with circles. So if you'relistening, you could even just
draw on a piece of paper alittle circle at the core, which
represents the trauma. We don'tknow what Kate's is yet, and
then we have the circle aroundit, which is the survival
pattern. So in Kate's situationhere that we're talking about,
if there's some sort of partthat wants to hold on to

(27:42):
security, the familiar, so apart that a survival pattern
that loves the familiar andsecurity

and my soul does not so

experiences there

unscripted woman does not

get me out of here. Yes, kind of fun that you
have this part. I don't know ifI've ever seen this part of you.
Yeah. So for me, just for thoseyou know that might not relate
to Kate's, maybe you relate tostaying small or a fear of being
seen. Well, the fear is beingseen, but the survival pattern
would be staying small, hiding.You can put any survival pattern

(28:24):
there, right? Or a survivalstrategy, whatever words you
want to use. So then draw athird circle. So first is a
trauma. Second is the survivalpattern. The third circle is how
you feel towards your pattern.So, Kate, how do you feel
towards we've already heardabout, the soul piece. Soul
piece is like, No way, let me befree. So that's how you feel.

(28:47):
One part of you feels that way,

how I feel towards it. I mean, I'm more surprised
than anything, I think, because,because the other part of me is
so, so solid and clear thatevery time I follow my heart and
my body, and it's a yes thatlike there's so much growth and
magic on the other side of thatand like that. So I'm so solid

(29:11):
in that. So I think I feel morethan anything. I don't feel
judgmental towards it, and Inavigated. I not I don't listen
to it. I work, I work. I havelots of practices that I work
with it and let it out and letit speak and but it's more just
surprising, and it's like, youknow, it's, it's sort of like

(29:33):
it's been for a few months, butit's kind of maybe once a week
where I'll wake up in the nightand be like, What if you get
murdered? What if you like,would it like you or like you
can't just walk down the streetlike it's just like all you
know, what if irrational? Yeah,yeah,

yeah, yeah. Would you say that you have certain
practices that try to change itin any way, like settle it down
south? Soothe it, anything likethat,

I'd say maybe in the middle of the night. Yeah? I
do. I do, like, talk to it likeit's a child and like, just love
it and soothe it in the middleof the night, just because that
helps me. Not, I don't want to,like, amplify it, but then
usually in the day, I'll just,like, go, let it go. And I
usually through writing ormovement, just let my, let
myself, like, fully go into thefeeling.

Yeah, great, perfect. So you know, for those
listening, you might have moreexperiences towards your
patterns that are more aboutagenda based. Like I it's
amazing what can have an agendalike, even the compassion. I
mean, in the middle of thenight, it's understandable,
because you want to get back tosleep. But compassion can be a
tricky one, because I can havecompassion for these patterns I

(30:45):
have, but I still have thisflavor of wanting it to be
different,

calming it down. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so
do

to really notice the ways that you feel towards
your patterns that have somesort of agenda, want it to be
different or trying to fix it,you know, like, yeah, kind of
like being sneaky with it even.I mean, this is my own way of
practicing. It's not that it'sright or wrong, but even
parenting parts, I find we'vegot an agenda there, you know,

(31:14):
like, Yeah, and again, there'slots of incredible modalities
that parent parts thatdefinitely have massive impact.
So I'm not saying that it's aright or a wrong there. That's
more agenda based, versus reallygetting to know why that part
exists,

unless you're the parent that you described at the
beginning of the episode thatjust sits with

Yeah. Well, the agenda is presence, I guess,
yeah, yeah, yeah. It's reallyholding space for what is which?
Yeah, empathic witness and,yeah,

I can think of the old pattern that I can think of
that was the strongest that Idealt with for so many years
that I know a lot of women dealwith, is was jealousy. I had it
in my, like, 20s and early 30s,so severely. Like, I mean, it
was really intense and, and Iremember, like, spending 1000s

(32:04):
of dollars going to like,workshop after workshop after
coach after healer, afterhypnotherapist after like, can I
delete this part of my brain?Like it was just like I had so
much shame and so much and I wasso hard on myself about it, and
I tried so hard to get rid ofit, or to fix it, or to to set
my actually might be an evenbetter example, because it was

(32:25):
like it was I, I judged it, Ishamed it, I I just felt so many
her I was embarrassed of it. Iwanted to hide it, but it like
when it was when jealousy wouldrear her head. I was like,
literally nothing could stop.Like one time I kicked a door
and was like, yeah. Anotherstory like

the jealousy pieces, yeah. I'm sure we can
all Yeah. So again, if peoplecan relate to that, map it out,
right? The jealousy is some sortof survival pattern, and then
you have how you feel towardsit, the embarrassment, the
shame, the wanting it to bedifferent, trying all the
things, throwing all the moneyand trying to fix it, right?

(33:04):
Yeah. So, so far, we've gotthree circles, the trauma, the
survival pattern, and how wefeel towards it, and, and again,
what we're doing here is we'repausing and noticing the layers
that are at play and, and thisis where, you know, yes, I'm a
somatic experiencingpractitioner, and I'm, my
background is in Feldenkrais andyoga, and I'm very body based,

(33:27):
but I find we can actually stepaway from, like, what are you
noticing in that, or what areyou experiencing in that, and
instead, just like, have somefun with it and see these
different layers that are atplay. We don't have to always go
into the depths of it. If I'mworking towards healing the
trauma, then, yeah, we have togo a little more inward to ride
the waves of whatever we'retrying to avoid feeling or

(33:49):
protecting ourselves fromfeeling, but to also, like, have
fun and map out our experiencesand understand ourselves a
little bit more, right? Andthat's where the fourth circle
comes into play. The circlearound the other three is when
we can pan out and holdawareness of the judgments, the
frustrations, the even thecuriosities, but still wanting

(34:11):
to fix it or the compassion, buthave an agenda to make our
patterns be different, thesepatterns that have been there
for a really long time, that areultimately just a fragmented
part of us as a result of sometrauma. So from that panned out
circle, that's where we canwe're going to come back to this
in a sec, but that's where wecan have more space and grace

(34:33):
around our experience. For thoseof you that have a hard time
recognizing that you're alreadywhole, and you have these
fragmented pieces being able topan out outside of the judgment,
the frustrations, the trying tofix. It's really hard, and we're
going to go inward first to seeif that can help you understand

(34:56):
more of what it feels like to bewhole, because it is felt.
Experience. It's very much like,Oh, there I am in that. And if,
if by the end of this podcast,you experience that awesome, but
if you don't, and you just like,well, I know I'm whole, I kind
of congrats the concept, but Idon't have a felt experience of
it. No, you're not alone. Butwhat I would invite you to
really

notice, I do want to sing Michael Jackson right
now. What is it really bad youare not alone.
So I just channeled MJ. I loveit. Love it. My voice is a
little under the weather, so itdidn't sound as good as him.

You need your offer lessons again. Okay, carry
on. Sorry for interrupting. Solet's so to at least hold
awareness of the layers can behelpful, because we start to see
more of what's at play, right?So let's go inward again with
your little piece, Kate, we can,we can pendulate in between the

(35:54):
jealousy, or shift in betweenthe jealousy and this other
piece. But let's, let's see whatthis part of you that wants
stability, wants familiar, whatit's afraid will happen if it's
so there Kate just made abarfing and barfing earlier, so

(36:15):
that barfing is how you feeltowards it. Oh,

isn't that interesting?

Cool, right? There something that is annoying

part of me that loves the freedom and loves the
unscriptedness and loves the notknowing what's coming and where
I'm going, in
conflict judges this piece andlike is making fun of it. Yeah,
interesting,

right? They're definitely in conflict with each
other, yeah. So let's see if wecan find out what that part of
you that wants stability isafraid will happen if you don't
have stability. So see, and thisis what I do in my sessions and
guide people through in myprograms. So it's we're just
going quick. This, the answersdon't necessarily come right

(37:02):
away, for those of you listeningand inquiring, but ultimately,
what we're doing is we'relooking at the survival pattern,
and we're trying to understandwhat what its job is, what its
purpose is, what it's afraidwill happen if it's not there.

So first, do you want me to share? What just came
up? What just came up actuallyis, is the fear, and I don't
know if it's connected tostability, but when you ask the
question, what came what I Icould feel was this fear of
fear, because I love Kenya somuch, the fear of like, not like

(37:41):
it, not not loving it. There'ssomething the fear of it
changing my view of Kenya, orsomething like that.

So it's like, the fear of the unknown, really,

yeah, the fear of the unknown. And if I go there
and I don't like it, like, whatif it changes how I feel about
it?

Yeah, yeah. So there's something that wants to
hold on to, the stability andthe familiarity, yeah, fear of
the unknown, being not what youexpected or

what you want to be, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So for those of you listening, if you look at
your survival pattern, sometimesan answer will come quickly,
like Cates does, and it doesn'tneed to always make sense, but
you're starting to get insideinformation, inside information
about insider information,insider on why that part exists,
right? So. So when we're askingthese questions from a place of

(38:32):
an agenda, wanting it to bedifferent, trying to fix it, we
are less likely to get theinformation just naming that.
But sometimes something willcome through and it's like, oh,
now I have a differentunderstanding of it, and it's
easier for me to pan out andunderstand like, of course, that
pattern exists because it'safraid of the unknown, afraid of

(38:55):
my expectations not being what Iexpected, and for me to
potentially, I'm making anassumption here, we can dig a
little deeper, but for there tobe disappointment, or for there
to be grief of losing something,or, you know, my guess is
there's some more layers there.So even as I'm naming that Kate,

(39:17):
see if you can again, we'reacknowledging this part that
wants stability, wantsfamiliarity, in fear of not the
unknown and not getting what youexpect. And is there anything
else coming through around whatmight happen if that happens?

Yeah, I guess the only thing is okay, then what do
I come back here? It's justlike, and yeah, the unknown, and
then that doesn't happen. And Ithink also that a lot of it with
Africa is primal, like, it'slike, actual Primal Fear and
like, also the collectivestories, like, when I'm there,
I'm not afraid at all, like, Ifeel so safe and I and I, it's a
very different experience. Butwhen I'm not there, this is when

(39:58):
the fear it never it doesn'tcome. When I'm there, it comes
up when I'm not there.

Can you feel there's something that it's
coming through for me that I'mcurious about? Can you feel
anything about when somethingdoesn't work out? Like, when
something doesn't work out, whatshows up?

Oh, like, what's meant to work out works out.
Like it it gets better. It just,I might get redirected. But is
that your mind saying that, orthat part saying, I mean,
that's, I feel that higher tell,but it feels like it just coming
like from the ground up,whatever you said, bottom,

bottom up, yeah.

Okay, so, yeah, it just feels like that,

yeah, yeah. So there's a knowing, it'll just
work out. There's no trust.Yeah, my guess is that's more
from higher self, from this moreexpanded space. Yeah, I want to
do a little more digging intothe stability piece. Okay, okay,
so notice that part of me thatis hesitant and wants to stay
and is kind of holding on to thefamiliar. Does it know that

(41:02):
experience, the trust in theflow and the unknown and the
that part? Yeah, no, no, yeah,exactly, yeah. So that's
important to differentiate,right? Yes, yeah, no, right. It
it's still stuck in thisexperience where, where the fear
exists of the unknown? Yes,okay, so see if you can. And I'm

(41:25):
trying not to do a full sessionhere, because then we could do
more parts work, and we canreally start to explore more,
but see if you can see that as afragmented piece that's kind of
looping in some sort of fear,yeah, fear of the unknown, fear
of things not working out asexpected. But I'm wondering if
there's anything else in thismoment that wants to come
through, and I'm just doing thisas a demonstration of like you

(41:49):
can see the difference, right?This fragmented piece is still
continuously going to be inconflict with you until we see
it in whatever the core piece,

yes, yeah, whatever I think it's the other one.
Yeah, yeah.

So you think, which makes me think that you're
saying it versus the part sayingit, Okay, interesting. Can you
see the difference? Yeah, right.It's like we're trying to figure
it out and what we're workingtowards. And again, this isn't
easy, and if we were doing asession, I would drop in more,
but I also want to use it as aneducation to help people

(42:23):
differentiate, like the traumasin this part that's stuck in
time, that's fragmented, thatfears the unknown, that that has
a story to share. And my guessis, honestly, that this feels
ancestral, like it's bigger thanyou. Yeah, yeah. So we can kind
of hold this piece for now withawareness that there's something

(42:45):
deeper to heal and transform, sothat this fragmented piece no
longer lives and exists in thisstory that it believes, right?
Yeah, so we can do a sessionaround that, and this is what I
work with with in my programstoo is like really starting to
understand the trauma for today.What I want to invite people
into is to really see thesedifferent layers, the fragmented

(43:09):
piece that no matter what youtry, it's not going to change
until you listen and support itbottom up to take shape and find
its way through whatever itsfears are. And this is my
intuitive guess is, the more wepay attention to this piece of
yours, it feels like it's linkedto something not working out.

(43:30):
And like, devastation, yeah,destruction because something
didn't work out. Yes. It's like,how do we let it tell the story
so that it can move throughwhatever it's looping in, right?
And we're doing that by byinquiring from this spacious
Space Place, instead of tryingto figure it out, trying to

(43:51):
solve it, trying to Yeah,

so someone's, if someone's following this, or for
everyone following this, rightnow, and they were trying to let
that part tell the story. Howwould you what? What would you
suggest, like, that writing, orlike, just Yeah, out loud, or
mirror work, or what? How wouldyou suggest they

Yeah, there's a number of different ways. So
first, obviously, sessions withyou,

we'll get to that.

The first piece would always be continue to
check in with the parts of youthat are trying to fix these
survival patterns, right?Because as soon as that flavor
is there, you're getting in yourown way, which is totally
understandable. It takes a lotof practice to start to identify
these flavors.

Is the title of this episode.

This is how you get you're continuously getting
it, believe me, I do it all thetime, but we need to catch
ourselves in it, yeah,acknowledge like, of course I'm
trying to find the answer. Ofcourse I'm frustrated, and of
course I want this to bedifferent. It's understandable,
and that pattern exists for areason. And so let's shift to
jealousy. The jealousy existsfor a reason, right? You can

(45:05):
even hear, as I'm acknowledgingthese two different reason
layers, there's already asoftening, like, yeah, it makes
sense that there's frustration.You're over it, and it makes
sense the jealousy exists, yeah,now when you're exploring the
jealousy is the survival patternand then the traumas at the
core. And you might notnecessarily know what's there.

(45:31):
So you can first start by withthese circles, even seeing them
as two different things, how youfeel towards the pattern and
your survival pattern. Don'teven need to know about the
trauma yet. And it's like, okay,these are different characters.
If I were to act out the becauseI know you love, you know,
acting out and and performing myhow I feel towards it, it feels

(45:55):
this way. This is what Iexperienced when I'm like that
and when I just want it to bedifferent. I'm so frustrated,
I'm so annoyed. And then whenI'm the jealous piece, it feels
like this. And you know, ittakes on this personality and
this character, and it feelslike this in my body, or this is
what it looks like, right? Sothat you can start
differentiating these two asdifferent things, then you can

(46:16):
start to explore the jealousypiece, like if you were either
observing the jealousy piece, oryou are the jealousy piece. What
are you afraid? One of myfavorite questions is, comes
from ifs internal familysystems. One of my favorite
questions I ask is like, what isthe jealousy afraid will happen
if it's not there? And a quickanswer comes, I'll be alone,

(46:37):
abandonment, right? Maybe that'syour answer. Maybe something
else

comes out. When I was jealous, like, I think
someone asked me that, and itwas that my boyfriend will
cheat, like the jealousy waslike keeping him from cheating,
which, I mean, it ruined our sexlife in our relationship, but we
it was when I was in my 20s andI had a five year relationship,
but there, but I, someone askedme that one of my someone, I
think this guy did personatherapy with and I and this, the

(47:05):
fear was that he would cheat onme if I wasn't jealous, right?

So that's, I love, that you're naming that, because
that's like the first bit ofinformation you get. And then
ultimately, we're kind of doingsome digging to see what's the
core wound here, right? So it'slike he's gonna cheat on me.
Well, what are you afraid willhappen if he cheats on me? No,
there's layers here, until wereach the point of the trauma
and and to me, the trauma existsusually as well. Shames a whole

(47:37):
other story, because shames thisintergenerational, passed down
thing. Can talk about that in asec, but usually there's some
sort of terror involved there,right? The abandonment, it's
like complete terror, aloneness,shock, confusion, not knowing
what's going on. Usually,whatever's at the core of it, we
can map on what I what's calledthe threat response cycle, where

(48:02):
we're stuck in this moment wherethere was a perceived threat,
and we from then on, perceivethat that threat is still
happening, and we can get stuck.I'll just keep it really simple
for now. But in the threatresponse cycle, we can be stuck
in the startle. We can be stuckin the shock. We can be stuck in

(48:24):
the preparatory state, wherewe're like on alert, like, wait,
what? What's happening? What,what's there's a change, and I
can't grasp what's happening inthe change. And we can be stuck
in the defensiveness, which isusually the incomplete fight or
flee response, where I'm eitherstuck always in in fight mode,
or I'm stuck in always escaping,fleeing, difficult, challenging

(48:46):
situations. I can be stuck inthe collapse. I can be stuck in
a rigid freeze where I'm holdingall this tone all the time and
can't feel a thing. I can bestuck, yeah, lots of different
places. So usually when we dosome inquiring into what's at
the core of it. So thisabandonment, there's more of a

(49:06):
physiological response that'sentangled in it, and the story
of abandonment, in this case,that's entangled in it. So the
more we can see what's at thecore of the fragmented piece,
the easier it is to understandwhy the jealousy exists. Of
course, the jealousy exists. Idon't want to feel the pain of
of abandonment and the terrorthat comes with abandonment,

(49:29):
like, Hello. I'd way rather bejealous, because that gives me a
sense of false power and, you

know, torture every day.

So again, the more we understand the core, which,
you know, that's, that's wherewe do the deep work of healing
the trauma, the more we can alsopan out and have more grace for
the many different ways we showup in the world. So by, yeah,
kind of getting to know thejealous part in this context and
acting it out, or. Writing itout, like, get let it take

(50:02):
character, let it show you. Whatis it there for? What is it
afraid will happen? What's itsjob? What's its duty? How long
has it been doing this? One ofmy favorite questions is like,
What year do you think it is?And a lot of times it's like,
1840 and it's like, yeah,exactly. We're working
intergenerational peace, andit's like, yeah, like past life

(50:26):
or past life exactly. And it'slike lifetimes of having to have
lived in this because we'refragmented. Our soul has been
fragmented. Part of us is stuck,looping in this existence, and
our job is to hold that space,coherent space, this place of
grace, this place where we'rethe empathic witness, or the

(50:47):
what do you call it? Again herethe heroine, the heroine, right?
We hold that to welcome thatpiece back home, to heal that
fragmented piece, to transformwhatever it's stuck in, so that
it can be integrated back intothe whole

I love I love it so beautiful, and I love how
nuanced it is. Like, it's justlike subtle and nuanced, subtle
and

nuance. And we will say sometimes our patterns
for them is extremely entangledand messy, and we have a lot of
teasing it apart before weactually get to the trauma
right, where it's like, let'sjust practice seeing the circles
and panning out whenever we canbe like, of course, I'm
frustrated right now. Of course,I'm, you know, signing up for

(51:34):
another course, because I justwant the answer, you know,
except my course, you're welcometo sign up for my course.

But, I mean, obviously everyone needs that
first.

Wow, yeah, the more we can see those layers,
the more we can have grace forourselves, instead of be in
conflict with ourselves all

the time. That's amazing. So, so if you were to,
if you were to name how we'regetting in our own way,

to say, use anything with an agenda and
yeah, wants to be different ishow we get in our own way. The
frustrations

during the checklist, let go. Him
proposing, well,

don't even burn it. Just acknowledge, oh, that
you want an agenda, right?Exactly, right. The practice of
acknowledgement is so valuableand so impactful. And then
again, we're just holding thelayers. It's like It all exists
for a reason.

Yeah, it does. It's amazing. Wow. It's, I just,
yeah, I just love how youarticulate everything. It's so
clear and so concrete, like, itjust feels digestible. Thank
you. There's a lot of noise.There's a lot of noise out
there. Yeah, it's like, you'relike, the brush of breath of

(52:59):
fresh air, like, at the top ofthe mountain, like, Thank you,
clear skies,

yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been cool in my own
journey, because, especiallywith us afraid of being seen
peace, right? It's, there's beena lot of hesitation to be on
social media and to, you know,play the marketing games and to
do this and to do that, and as ahermit, as you would call me,
the need to go inward and makesense of things myself is so

(53:28):
important before I'm teachingit, yes, and I'm definitely well
on the journey with you all aswell. Like I continue to have my
own survival patterns and deeplayers of trauma that I'm
ongoingly healing, and I'm happyto report that as I continue to
do my work, it becomes easier.It's not always easy, but it

(53:50):
becomes easier because I'mcoming at it with more
coherence, more spaciousness,more ability to hold what is
instead of just like bouncingaround from one pattern to the
other pattern, and just inconflict with myself trying to
make it all be different. It'slike, oh, wait, I can exist in
grace, and I can exist withinthat spaciousness and hold off

(54:12):
for being human and and I wantto also name that I'm not just
doing that for myself, but I'mdoing that for everyone on this
planet. And that's the that'sthe other practice here is, how
can we pause and notice howwe're experiencing other people?
Are we in conflict with theirsurvival patterns? You know,

(54:34):
yes, most people are existing intheir survival patterns, and
here we are having judgmenttowards them. You know,
projecting on them, and in thatthird circle, really, really
unable to see them as a wholehuman being that is fragmented
and showing up in the world inthese ways, where they're just

(54:55):
trying to survive, they're juststuck, looping, perceiving the.
Looping to get them looping,looping, or looping, looping,

loop. I mean, you could call it looping. Even made
it better. It was born here onthe new truth. There we

go. We're shipping a looping,

yeah, that allows you to practice compassionate,
more compassionately, and howmuch time I mean, it blows my
mind. It feels like it'samplified right now. And maybe
it's just because everyone'svoices are amplified right now.
I realized, as I said, thatthat's probably why, because
everyone you know has alwaysfrom their survival patterns in

(55:39):
the third circle, gossipscomplaint. Talked about other
people behind their back, butnow they're doing it publicly on
Facebook and like, oh my god,some billionaire guy had an
affair at the Coldplay concert.Next thing you know, everybody's
posting about, like, Who gives ashit?

And why is it yours to post? Yeah, and this is
where it's like, we can have, wecan have compassion for their
need to post, right? It's like,do I have judgment for their
need to post? Or can I havecompassion but also be in the
disgust and be like, That's notokay, right? So I do want to
point out, when we're we canhold space for people's survival

(56:17):
patterns. It doesn't mean thatwe just are like, You do
whatever you want, like, walkall over me because it's your
survival pattern. It's like, Isee you in that and here's my
boundary. That's not okay, yes,that's disgusting, that's
doesn't meet my values. What'simportant to me. And I don't
want to engage with this dynamicanymore, but it's coming from a

(56:37):
clear place, instead of asurvival pattern, just, you
know, being cheeky or being ajerk towards their survival
patterns. And I want to nameit's a practice like, what I'm
inviting into is an ongoingpractice and way of life. It's
not easy, but it's we'recatching these layers that are
at play. And, you know, myprinciples are pause and notice.

(56:59):
Like I'm constantly pausing andnoticing. Am I in a survival
pattern? Am I in these qualitiesof how I feel towards my
survival patterns trying to fixhaving the agenda? How can I
continue to pause and notice myexperiences? Can I connect back
into that sense of wholeness? Soam I pausing and noticing? Do I
have awareness of what layersare at play. Can I bring

(57:21):
curiosity to them when I havethe space to Can I recognize
that there's nothing to fix andI'm already whole, as is
everyone else, right? And like,how do I continue to integrate
that into my everyday life? Thisis an ongoing practice, yes,
yeah,

which is why you shared that you're on the path
too, and the greatest teachersare because the path never ends
and it's and the work onlydeepens at the more you the
deeper you go into your ownjourney, and the more expanded
you go exactly. I Oh, I had aquestion from the last thing

(57:59):
you're saying, and now, where isit? What was the last thing you
said?

Was talking about my principles, pausing and
noticing, awareness andcuriosity. Nothing to fix
already.

Oh, yeah, yeah. What would be? What would you
say? Would be cues? Or how wouldsomeone know if they're in

their wholeness. Hmm, good question. Do you want
to answer first?
No, so you answer, okay, so I'llfirst pose it as a question, and
then I'll share my experience.So when I'm in the third circle,
I have more tension. I'm tryingto fix. I'm having conflict. And

(58:47):
you know, want it to bedifferent when I'm in the second
circle, in my survival pattern,I also have an experience,
depending on what the survivalpattern is. Let's stay with my
usual one of staying small,right? I feel my shoulders go
down and my voice, oops, I'meven quieter with my voice,
right? I'm my I can't even findmy words right now as I'm

(59:09):
entering that pattern. And if Ipan out and acknowledge this
part of me that feels small orneeds to still stay small, if I
acknowledge how I feel towardsit, if I acknowledge why I need
to stay small, with theawareness of my ancestral line

(59:29):
and what happened in the past, Ican breathe more. You can even
hear my voice. My voice is verydifferent right now than when I
was in my survival pattern. I Ifeel an expansive state around
me. Time feels to me, seems tomove slower. There's the sense

(59:50):
of grace and ease and love, andI feel very present in my in
this state of wholeness. I'm soI can feel the differences in
between all the layers. And forme, that's what I'm constantly
pausing and noticing, Oh, thereI am in my hiding. Oh, there I

(01:00:15):
am in my judgment towards it.Oh, right, there.

Kate Harlow (01:00:18):
Love it. You can literally, physically, I mean,
when you were moving back alittle bit, this will be on
YouTube eventually, but the youcan actually see yourself going
through the circles

Nicole Lohse (01:00:30):
totally, right? Like my body changes, and that's
where, you know, all thesestories lie within your energy
field. They lie within yourcells, you know? And that's what
I love about theintergenerational pieces is we
have the science has provenseven generations stories exist
within our cells, within ourDNA. So you know, there's our

(01:00:54):
what we're doing here is we'rerewriting the stories that lie
within ourselves way our nervoussystem has been programmed and
wired. We are rewriting thatprogramming right, and we're
remembering that we are thiscoherence. We are this state of
flow. We are this place offlexibility, of regulation, of

(01:01:18):
stability, yet fluidity, right?Like we are, that we just tend
to exist within our fragmentedpieces instead of remembering
that we are this.

I love that. Yeah. So clear. So if someone wants to
rewrite the program in theircells or whatever you said, I
can't remember the exact phrase,how do they work with you? How
do you how? What do you do?

I will, I'll say, I do have a podcast that I
stopped doing because I neededto take some time to go inward
and continue to evolve my ownexperiences. But there that's a
great resource. It's called theexperiential podcast, so I
welcome you to check that out.We never got to do an episode,
which is mind blowing, but I wassaving you for a certain topic,

(01:02:08):
and when I never got there. Soone day, I'll start one day. So
that's a great resource. Andthen on my website, you'll also
find, we'll find a downloadable,free resource that goes great
with the podcast, which can helpyou map this out, just like we
did today. And then, programwise, I have a few offerings.

(01:02:32):
One is a study group. It's a lowcommitment offering where we
meet once a month for fourmonths, and you have some
content to go through, and ourconversations together as a
group allow deeper understandingof the content you're going
through, the self explorationsyou're doing. And then if you
want to book one on ones for mewhile you're doing the study
group, you can. And then I also,in the fall, run my bigger

(01:02:57):
program, which is discover. AndI'm in the midst of trying to
decide if I want to do the usualfour months or actually make it
a larger commitment, but staytuned at discover is we meet on
a weekly basis. There's eightmodules, there's tons of content
to support you in understandingmore of these layers that are at
play, connecting you more withyour internal and external

(01:03:21):
experiences, and justunderstanding more of the
complexity of what it means tobe human and how to have again
grace in it all as well. So,yeah, the best thing to do is
book a call with me, and then wecan chat about what's what's the
right fit, and we can go fromthere.

Amazing is your website, Nicole laos.com, it
sure is okay. So we'll link thatbelow, and we'll also link the
link to book a call. Can we dothat below the episode? Yeah,
and, and then all the freebiestuff you talked about, we'll
just link that all below theepisode. And, yeah, amazing. So

(01:04:00):
beautiful. I mean, I've donelots of work with you over the
years, and I mean, it's lifeit's life changing, really,
because it's like, it's, it'sgetting intimate with your own
blueprint. And it's sobeautiful, so and powerful.
Thanks. So highly recommendNicole for those of you who are

(01:04:21):
ready to change your story andto sit with out of your own way,
sit with all your parts and getout of your own way, yeah, if
you're really ready to get outof your own way and book a call
with Nicole, and also you'rejust such a love just to meet
you and have a conversation withyou. Are there any final words
you have for our new truthers?

Just invite you to also remember again hard if play
was never a part of yourexperience growing up, but how
can you find more play? How canyou find more creativity? How
can you play with the edges thatare uncomfortable? Role within
those realms of play andcreativity to notice both the

(01:05:04):
discomfort and the fear as wellas what's possible when you
start to tap into thosedynamics. Because, yeah, so much
can happen when we allow thoselayers to come online, beautiful
and again, they're not onlinebecause of trauma. Understand
that, and then, yeah, you canmap that out. But yeah, how do

(01:05:25):
we have more fun with this, allof this?

You know that? Yeah, that's good at that.
Goals, yeah, it's just like, whyare we taking this so serious?
Come on. Like, exactly, yeah,yeah. Love it. Love you so much.
Thank you for sharing all yourbrilliance and wisdom and your
heart, yes, my pleasure, yeah.All right. And for those of you

(01:05:47):
listening, I think this isprobably going to be an episode
you listen to many times, butdefinitely share it with all
your sisters out there who youknow are operating from their
fragmented parts and beatingthemselves up for operating
their fragmented parts, who needto hear this message, and we'll
see you next week. You.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Cardiac Cowboys

The Joe Rogan Experience

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How You're Getting in Your Own Way with Nicole Lohse

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}Stuff You Should Know

Cardiac Cowboys

The Joe Rogan Experience

All Episodes

How You're Getting in Your Own Way with Nicole Lohse

Stuff You Should Know