Episode 344: Best Of: Raising Other People’s Children—Trauma, Boundaries, and Belonging with Debbie Ausburn

In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Dr. Sharon Spano welcomes Debbie Ausburn, who has spent decades raising children who weren’t biologically her own—as a foster parent, step-parent, and advocate. Drawing on her career in social work and law, Debbie shares compassionate, practical advice on how to build trust with traumatized children while holding clear boundaries and protecting your own wellbeing.

Whether you’re a foster parent, stepparent, or a caregiver stepping into a child’s life in a season of crisis, Debbie’s wisdom will help you approach the journey with realistic expectations and courage.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why divorce and family disruption are still traumatic—even when we normalize them
  
  
• How trauma affects children’s development, behavior, and ability to trust
  
  
• The difference between supporting a child and trying to “fix” everything
  
  
• How to set healthy boundaries while staying loving and consistent
  
  
• Why children often express loyalty to absent or biological parents, and why that’s okay
  
  
• How to balance caregiving with your marriage, career, and personal wellbeing
  
  
• Why every child needs to know exactly where they stand—and what the rules are
  
  
• The importance of acknowledging your role without trying to replace a parent
  
  
• Tips for managing time, appointments, and the emotional demands of foster or step-parenting
  
  
• The power of showing up with empathy, clarity, and steadiness over time

Transcript: Here

Debbie Ausburn:

Website: https://debbieausburn.com/

Book: Raising Other People’s Children

Sharon Spano:

Website: sharonspano.com

Facebook: facebook.com/SharonSpanoPHD

Instagram: instagram.com/drsharonspano/

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sharonspano/

Book: thetimemoneybook.com

Contact: [e-mail]

Substack: substack.com/@drsharon

The Other Side of Potential Podcast: sharonspano.com/podcast/