The Relationship-Smart podcast

In this episode I explore a bunch of pressures on female libido that I see over an over and yet are not commonly thought of as desire stoppers.

I am hoping that this episode feels hopeful and gives you lots of options for healing and exploration where you otherwise may have been feeling stuck.

This episode does come with the trigger warning of the mention of sexual trauma.

Listen to the end for my top tips on what to do once you disco...

Solutions are good right? I am just trying to help. Yes, but we actually find it really frustrating when we are sharing an issue and our partner jumps straight to solutions. Why is that? What is going on here? And what do we want and need instead?

Listen to this episode as we explore what is going on with not always loving solutions.

About Nicole

Nicole Mathieson is a couple therapist and relationship focussed counsellor helping p...

In this episode, I talk to my beautiful, soulful friend Kris Franken.

So many people ask me how they can find themselves, be true to themselves and still be in relationship. It can be tricky to navigate. We fear that if we change and become more true to ourselves that we will lose our partner. We fear that authenticity and integrity means loss of connection. Well, today I called in Kris to talk to us about this because Kris, in my o...

Does your partner have sex tantrums?

How does it make you feel?

How do they feel?

What is going on and how do you get out of the downward spiral of need, guilt, obligation, and then less desire?

Listen in as we unpack this very common dynamic, try not to generalise too much, and as I give you a few pointers to get back to sex without the guilt, anxiety and pressure.

For more exploration on sex tantrums check out Emily Nagoski's book...

Intimacy (and I am not talking about sex), in my opinion is one of the hardest things in the whole world, but also, something that gives us the deepest most heart fulfilling satisfaction.

Gah, what a dilemma! It would be so much easier if we could just get all operational and robotic and not have to have those hard conversations, get vulnerable and honest with ourselves and then share it with another....we could just get on with it...

Hello ,it's me Nicole Mathieson and I would like to introduce you to my brand new podcast; The Beauty Load, How to feel good enough in your body.

This podcast is inspired by my book also called the Beauty Load in which I explore this exhausting pressure, anxiety and insecurity that many if not all women feel in regards to the way they look.

In this podcast, I aim to explore how the Beauty Load is felt by different people, i...

Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men.

Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

follow me on instagram @nicole.mathieson

In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty.  The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic messaging and an obsession with be...

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be worried!" but this just keeps us st...

If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance. In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves.

The Beauty Load book out April 2022

Instagram: @nicole.mathieson

Hosted on Acast. See acas...

There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it? In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book:

-from my own struggles with feeling enough -to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends -seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem to be struggling in the same way -my fear for my own children -and our need to unpack ...

How do you manage stress in your relationship?

How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you? Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged.

In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so important and I go through the Gott...

You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay. We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain, but to recognise all of these feelings as understandable responses to what is going ...

How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire? 

Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves.

Does that resonate with you?

Come with me on this podcast journey while I explore this a little.

Find out more about my coaching / counselling and reso...

We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever"

Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness ...

Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist.

Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us.

We chat about: -her break-up stories and how she navigated them -how to recognise a narcissist -the places p...