April 29, 2025 • 64 mins
Get ready for an inspiring conversation with Blair Channing Rae. She is a Navy veteran, social worker, writer, and social media influencer who is seriously lighting up the world one Ripple at a time. Today, we dive into Blair’s incredible journey from serving in the military to becoming a powerful voice for mental health awareness. She shares her experiences living with bipolar disorder, opening up about how vulnerability and honesty have fueled her mission to connect, inspire, and empower others.
Blair’s story is a beautiful example of how authentic connections can happen across social media platforms like Instagram, X (Twitter), Threads, and beyond. From her first posts that caught my eye to the incredible spark of friendship that grew across the miles, Blair has shown what The Ripple Effect really means. It is through creating positivity, building real community, and showing up with light even on the hardest days. She has been a lifestyle influencer since 2023, and her content focuses on mental health, identity, pop culture, and relationships. She is also currently working on a book of essays entitled Being Social: The Psychology of Social Media.
If you’ve ever wondered how a mental health advocate and a social media influencer could roll all that into one unstoppable force, Blair Channing Rae is your answer. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this conversation about resilience, friendship, purpose, and the power of a single Ripple to change lives.
Listen until the end and Ripple On!!!
Ripple with Blair Channing Rae: @iwritergirl
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I am so absolutely grateful thatBlair Channing Rae stopped by
the ripple effect podcast today.This woman is someone that
caught my eye and attention onsocial media. I have loved every
time her post pops up on X orTwitter or whatever the hell
Elon's calling it today, andInstagram, because she is light
(00:22):
up the screen. Her smilesinfectious. Her attitude about
the world is infectious. Herdesire to create positivity out
there in the world isinfectious. She's a Navy
veteran. She is a social workerby day, and a social media
influencer by night. She's awriter. She is got a personality
(00:44):
that doesn't quit. You're goingto see that in this interview.
Blair Channing Rae is the realdeal. When you think about great
people who enter your life, thatshow up in unexpected times, we
often ignore these things, and Idon't know what it was about
reaching out to her, connectingwith her many gosh, probably
(01:05):
over a year ago now, but therewas a spark. And the spark was
the thread of friendship and adesire to get to know me, and a
desire to get to know how we cancontribute to one another's
lives. And it has taken a whilefor us to get this thing
scheduled, but I'm so gratefulwe stayed patient and focused
and diligent to get it done.When you see this interview, the
(01:28):
camaraderie, the rapport, theyou'll be like, hey, these guys
got to be friends for like, wayback with this today, it was the
first day we actually met onvideo. Everything else has been
email or social mediaconversations. The beautiful
thing about that is this justgoes to prove that if you put
your time and your energy andgetting to know people, they can
(01:48):
be clear across the world, clearacross the state, clear across
your city. Never meet them inperson. Hopefully I will meet
her in person one day. But thatyou can turn a connection, an
ordinary connection intosomething extraordinary. And I'm
so grateful for her support. I'mgrateful for her being in my
life and just the fact that wecould do this. I think when you
(02:12):
listen to this interview or youwatch it on YouTube, you're
gonna see what I saw, which is awoman who is on a mission to
make a difference and do greatthings in this world, because
she's gone through theseexperiences. She understands the
challenges with mental health,she knows what we're up against
in so many ways, and she is notrunning from the fight. She is
(02:32):
going headlong into it. And shehas a mission to change the
world, and I have no doubt in mymind that she will. And with no
further ado, let's dive into ourinterview with Blair Channing Rae!
(03:03):
Guys, I am super excited to havemy good friend and, you know,
just a character, join me todayfor this podcast, Blair Channing
Rae is joining us for The Ripple Effect Podcast. I met Blair
online through Instagraminitially, and then started
following her on a couple ofother platforms. And I'll tell
(03:25):
you why I follow her, becausethere are people that just make
you smile when their posts popup, and she is one of those
people. She exudes positivity,she exudes what we're about at
the Ripple and I'm so gratefulshe squeezed us into her jam
packed schedule to come join ustoday. So Blair, welcome to the
ripple effect podcast. How areyou doing? Thank
you, Steve, thank you for havingme. I'm doing great. I wish it
(03:48):
were warmer here, but, you know,we're waiting on it. It's
spring, at least
it's spring. So tell everybodywhere you are. You know, in in
the US. Right now,
I am in Washington, DC, andright now we're coming up on the
cherry Boston festival. Yeah,that's a big deal here, and so
(04:10):
I'm looking forward to it. I'veonly lived here about four
years, and this will be my firsttime. Oh,
that's awesome. So is it like, abig thing down, like, on the
like near the National Monument,right the the whole area right
there. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.So what is it about the festival
(04:32):
that attracted you this year,but not the last three Ah,
well, I'm familiar with a lotmore people, so it's more of a
social affair. Getting me wrong,I have zero issues going out by
myself. But for something likethat, I like to be around
natives who understand. And mostof my friends are transplants,
(04:52):
like I am. They don't get it,yep, yeah. Sometimes they're
natives and they can explaineverything
that's perfect. Yeah? Yeah. Imean, that's the way to go. You
get the inside scoop. You getthe, you know, all that
undisclosed knowledge of peoplethat have been doing it forever,
and they tell you where to go,what to do,
yeah, I
(05:13):
like it. You're Rippling whenyou're doing that. That's
awesome, yeah?
And they like looking at itthrough my lens, because it's
like, oh yeah, I've never lookedat it like that before. She's a
first timer.
Well, so let me ask you, whatbrought you to the DC area?
Well, I've always wanted to livein a big city, so when I was six
(05:35):
years old, I told my mom and dadI was going to live in New York.
And they were like, Sure,everyone says that. And my uncle
and auntie had this show thatthey like to watch called Green
Acres. Oh, boys character. She'slike, darling, I love you, but
give me Park Avenue. And I justlooked at my mom and dad like,
(05:58):
yeah, you know, I like thecountry, but the city's calling
my name. So after leaving NorthCarolina for a couple of years,
I finally got the opportunity tocome here and get settled. And I
love living in an urban area.There's so much to do. Yeah,
yeah, DC is, I think a lot ofpeople sleep on DC, yeah,
(06:22):
there's so much culture. There'sso much to do while you're there
and and that's even outside of,like, what people know, like the
Smithsonian National Museum,those, those things are great,
but they have so many like, coolthere's a great theater vibe,
there's a great nightlife.There's just an energy and
enthusiasm, and if you can stayaway from all the politicians,
(06:44):
it's a really cool place to be.
Well, good luck with that. Ifind that DC is pretty insular,
like if you live there, youdon't really hang out much
outside of that. I think theI've been to Manassas, I've been
to Leesburg, and those areprobably like, too far out for
(07:06):
most people, yeah? But, um,yeah, DC is just the nice, right
type of vibe. I like thediversity. I like all the
amenities you name. But let'snot forget the food. Yes, yes.
Food is great.
Yeah, yeah. I love that. I lovethat. So you are finding your
traction there after four years.Now you're going to be like all
(07:29):
the rest of the natives and belike, this is the Cherry Blossom
Festival. It's not it's not beenpopping until you showed up, and
then now, all of a sudden, it'son a new level.
Well, I'm going to try and getas many people to go with me
this year so we can make it atheme. Yeah, I just think it
would be so cool to get someannual stuff in, because I don't
have my own traditions here.
(07:49):
That's well, you know, if theyselect you as the cherry blossom
queen, then you'll have thewhole entourage following you
next year. So I
don't know if I want that kindof attention, though.
It could be over the top. Couldbe too much, right?
Too much. Didn't have to go allanonymous online, and no one
could find me.
(08:12):
Well. So speaking of online,that's how you and I connected,
right? And one of the thingsthat I really want to say to
your face, that I feel like youneed to hear is you exude a
level of positivity and just,you know, the best way I could
describe you is a ray ofsunshine, right? You really have
a really phenomenal way of justimproving people's day by the
(08:37):
posts that you make. And I justlove your take on a lot of
things. I like your approach. Ilike your energy and your vibe.
How is it that you found yourway on to like the platforms
like Instagram? Are you tryingto tell us a little bit about
that journey into social andkind of what you want to do with
it and how you're doing it,because I know kind of one of
your strengths is focusing onwriting, right? And that's the
(08:57):
area that most interests you. Sotell us a little bit about how
the social, you know, platformscame to be, and what your
experience has been so far.
So I'm thinking back really farnow. Steve's like, let's go back
to AOL
chat room. There's no way you'reold enough to know AOL. There's
(09:18):
no way
I'm gonna take you back, thenostalgia is going to hit you
over the head. AOL chat rooms,and I got started connecting
with people from differentareas, and I liked it, yeah. And
along with being able to expressyourself, not so much behind the
(09:39):
screen, but just with words, youknow, and so I think it was when
MySpace and Facebook took offthat I realized I had a knack
for connecting with people andwas great with content. And it.
(09:59):
Took off from there. A year intoit, I decided to start talking
about my mental healthstruggles. I do live with
bipolar disorder, and so thatwas a little frightening at
first to share, but just havingthat community come around,
because there are other peopleout there going through it,
(10:22):
really people say that, butthere really are. So getting
that community with me reallyhelped me make some strides in
my mental health, and fromthere, I've just combined a
little bit of advocating formental health as well as
connecting with more people forthe opportunity to tell some
(10:42):
stories, which I'm currentlyworking on now in a book of
essays called the socialexperiment. And it's just like
it sounds, you know, we've gotsocial media, so it's like an
experiment of sorts, and I'vejust gone back to about 2007 and
taken different accounts onlineand written them up in a cute
(11:05):
little set of essays. Oh,
that's awesome. Can you give us,like a idea of the framework of
the essays, where you're, youknow, where you're kind of
focused on? Are you trying toprove out a theory? Are you
trying to illuminate, you know,how different there is now
versus then? Or
I could go back for now versusthen. Really, it's just to get
(11:26):
some important topics out there.I'm really big on again. We're
talking mental health,Alzheimer's disorder, hmm, some
family stuff, because I recentlywent on ancestry. My father's
dad passed away when he was veryyoung, and my grandmother moved
(11:50):
the family away from the hair inlaws. And just from there, we've
got a really bad, interestingbackstory, a family of
sharecroppers who migrated,really, to the north, the great
migration, as I'm sure you'veheard about, yep, and everyone
went off to college and gotgreat careers, and just we have
(12:12):
a generation of scholars in ourfamily. So I'd like to talk more
about that. That's myrelationship with my dad, who
recently passed away fromAlzheimer's, and working through
the grief has helped me find thestrength to restart my vlog and
get back out there with theseessays. So that's what I'm
(12:33):
working on now. That's
That's great. Well, you and Ihave that in common. My mom
suffered with Alzheimer's for 10years, and it is, in fact,
actually did another interviewjust a little while ago for the
podcast. It was talking to thatguest about Alzheimer's and just
how, how absolutely devastatingit is. She's dealing with it
with one of her parents rightnow, and just how hard. And, you
(12:56):
know, people don't recognize theupheaval it causes in a family.
You know, there's, there'svarious stages, right? But I was
reminding her, because she's inone of the rough stages that but
her, her parent, can stillrecognize, sort of recognize
people. And I said, you know, Ihad somebody reset the
perspective for me back when mymom was going through it was
(13:16):
that it's hard on you, and it'shard on the family, but the gift
that it has to the person that'ssuffering from it is that every
day is a new day, and everyperson they see is a new friend.
Oh, wow. And so every day israther than look at it as the
negative, look at it as thegift. And for them, they get to
(13:36):
experience it all over again, asif it's the first time, because
for salmon is again, right? Like
that? Yeah, I think I love thepart that my dad never forgot me
and that just stuck with me. Buteveryone isn't that fortunate.
No, no, there's a differentfeeling when your mom or dad
(14:01):
don't recognize you because ofthat?
Yeah. I mean, your wholeidentity is wrapped up in that
recognition, you know, in a lotof ways. And so I think that's
some very admirable work thatyou're going to be putting out,
and can't wait to read it. Forsure. What is it about writing
that really tickles your fancy?
Being able to express myself,because as a child, I had to
(14:24):
suppress a lot of things, um,growing up, it's like children
were to be seen, not alwaysheard. You know, I was boomer
parents. Yeah, boomer parentsfrom the south. So yes, No back
talk. No, I'm asking a question.Don't even question me. Yeah,
(14:48):
yeah. So
I found a notebook and startedwriting, and no one could say.
Anything to me, yeah, until mydad found it. And there were, I
mean, there were some unpleasantthings, but why are you reading
(15:09):
my notebook?
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't like that. I didn'thave any privacy. And when they
explained that, I couldn't evenclose the door, wow, I couldn't
let you grow
up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I you andI have that in common as well.
How was, you know, aside fromraised by Southern parents that
(15:31):
you know, might have ruled withan iron fist, how was growing up
in your home? What was that, youknow, what was that like? What
was the best parts of yourchildhood that you remember
best parts of my childhood aremy summer vacations. Okay? My
dad was a social worker, and hegot extra time off during the
(15:52):
summer. Somehow we gotThanksgiving and Christmas and
summers. So those Okay, thosevacations really helped me out.
And I think my thing aboutgrowing up, especially as a
little black girl in the 80s,was just having pop culture like
the Whitney Houston and princesfor music. And then, you know,
(16:15):
despite what Bill did The CosbyShow that being groundbreaking,
as well as the Fresh Prince ofBel Air, that was different
world. Yeah, different world wascorrect. So
it was like I was on the Comingof Age of a new Black
Entertainment era, yeah. And Ilove that from my childhood. I
(16:36):
mean, everyone loves 90s Hip Hopand R and B, come
on, yeah, like that. Yep,
gotta give him a side eyes,like, I don't trust you.
Yeah, I don't trust you. So thatwas the big thing. And I like
that. My parents advocatededucation because, like I said,
it's just, it's a really bigdeal. And probably my other
(17:00):
favorite thing about childhoodwas just my siblings and I, you
know, we played together, evenwe had this WrestleMania thing
that we did. I had two youngerbrothers, and they swore that
they could kick my butt, andthey could until one day I swore
I had my little brother pinneddown, and it was over, they tag
(17:23):
team and it was over. There wasno more Wrestlemania. They want.
No You know, what's reallypopular these days is to have
the comeback series might be agreat wonder. I mean, we get a
whole reality series going on,just the WrestleMania, the
(17:45):
rebirth,
those are some good times. Idon't care where anyone says. I
know it's fake, but I love it.That's
awesome. I love that well, so Iknow from your bio, you went
into the service, you'd probablyserved in the Navy. What
motivated inspired you to dothat? And first and foremost,
(18:07):
thank you for your service toour country, so I really want to
recognize that. But whatmotivated you to go to the Navy?
That's a that's kind of a bigleap for a girl from the south.
I
know it's a big deal, butactually, there are a lot of
girls from the south and theNavy, believe it or not,
Mississippi, Louisiana. For me,it was just time to tap into
(18:33):
that dream of leaving NorthCarolina. Yeah, I was deeply
involved with my circle, andeven my dad, you know, you
reminded me that, hey, you saidyou wanted more than this from
life. What's going on? So when Idropped out of school and just
was lost, and I found myself ina recruiter's office, and there
(18:54):
I was, yeah, going away.
So where did your service takeyou.
I only went to Jacksonville,Florida, okay? And this place
called Diego Garcia, yeah, and Iwas there for four years, and I
loved every minute of it. It'sthe camaraderie, it's the
(19:15):
everyone talks about the rulesand, oh, I don't want anyone
telling me what to do, but what?Where are you going to work
where no one told you what youdid? So I'm glad I didn't allow
that to negate how I was goingto experience the military. It's
the best thing for me. It allowsme to live the lifestyle I do
today. I wouldn't take anythingback, but I'm concerned about
(19:39):
the military today, just withgoing on, just the things going
on, and government in ouradministration, I'm deeply
involved with the LGBTQcommunity, and that it's
troublesome for me to know. Thatwe could possibly go back to a
(20:01):
time where you can't serve basedon your sexuality? Yeah, and the
other thing too, we had young,black and brown people coming in
more and more. What does it sayto them when our when their
forefathers and foremothers havegone before them and can't get
(20:22):
recognition because some reasonthat's tied to your skin tone. I
don't, I don't like that. I'dhave concerns about anyone
considering going in right now.Yeah,
I, I totally understand that.I'm actually speaking to a
military organization next Gosh,better look it up two weeks now.
(20:43):
But that the it's reallydesigned. It's an organization
called MERIS, and it's reallydesigned to help active military
find their footing and theiropportunities after they leave
the service, right. And sadly,the military doesn't matter
who's in office right. Has neverbeen good at supporting exiting
military to what's next, right,educating them on how do you
(21:06):
take what you learned in themilitary and apply that into the
civilian sector? How you cantake those skills, those values,
that honor and actually utilizethat as a strength in order to
land your next job? And they doa they do a really good job. I
spoke for them when they firstlaunched, 10 years ago. They've
got a 10 year conference reunionthat's coming up. But the thing
(21:26):
that I find that's a littleconcerning and alarming is the
number of people that aretransitioning out because
there's concerns about where itis, what's happening. The future
of the military doesn't matterwhat branch, and so their
numbers are significantly higherthan they ever have been. And
it's it's unfortunate too,because I think, and you may
(21:47):
have experienced this once yougot out as well, is that the
civilian world doesn't do a goodjob understanding the value and
the resources and the assetspeople that served in the
military are, they are just anabsolute gem. My I own a
software company in addition towhat I do for ripple. And one of
my best hires started off at thelowest level possible in my
(22:09):
little, you know, fledglinglittle software company, and now
he's my coo but he served in themilitary for 20 plus years, and
20 years of giving his life, andthen when he was ready to
retire, was almost like it neverhappened, right? And didn't have
resources, and kind of basicallygot told, hey, look, you know,
the best you could hope for is ajob at Jiffy Lube or work at a
warehouse, and this guy'srunning, you know, now, a multi
(22:32):
million dollar software companyand, you know, keeping me out of
trouble all the time, or gettingme into some occasionally, but
at the end of the day, you justgot to find people that believe
in you. And I feel like now thetransition, it's so hard, right?
Yeah, and that's what I meanabout the people going in,
(22:52):
transitioning into the military,because they're going to need a
mentor. You're going to needsomeone who watches over them,
has their best interest. I can'tsay wholeheartedly that that's
the case now, but I do speakwith veterans and some of our
experiences, I find that somepeople's experience were less
(23:12):
pleasant than others fordifferent reasons, but overall,
I think for the veterans whocame out during My era, we can
say that we did have support. Wehad our mentors in I cannot say
that for this generation ofyoung, yeah,
sadly, well, you know, yourreputation probably preceded you
(23:32):
as a wrestling, you know, champ.Before you got in, were you
wearing the belt on the firstday
or No, no, I'm more of a runner,so I'm a track star. Yeah, okay,
yeah.
So was that something you did inhigh school or in club or in
(23:52):
college? Actually? No, I
No one knew that I could rununtil I joined the Navy. No kids
so low key with it? Well, theycall me prissy, and said I
didn't do anything other whatwas the time? Boy too. But no
one thought I was athletic. Sowhen I scorched the earth and
(24:15):
boot camp, it was like, yeah,yeah. We were in a COVID group.
So I had, like, I was in a groupwith guys, so, yeah, yeah. And
then
you can just look back whenthey're like, where did that
come from? Be like, well, I am aWorld Wrestling Federation
(24:36):
champion. I mean, WrestleManiachampion 32 just saying, Guys,
couple of belts on me.
So you left the Navy, if youenjoyed it, it was time of your
life. Why did you transitionout?
I had to transition out becauseI didn't go into stay and I
wanted to pursue a career inentertainment. I really wanted
(24:58):
to work in entertainment. Yeah.Okay,
so you left that and what was itthat you were focused on to do
in entertainment at
that time? I was focused onscreenwriting and songwriting,
yeah, and so I was right downthe road from Orlando, so it
would be nothing to go into,like the studios and stuff and
(25:19):
record back then and just shoparound material. I maybe I was
delusional at the time, but Ireally thought I could do it,
and I really did try to do it.So that's something I have no
regrets about. When people askme, like you just did, why'd you
leave the Navy? That's somethingbigger in mine, for myself, and
(25:40):
I can still do that now. So,
yeah, yeah, because when yousend me your bio, the write up,
I just have to read this alittle bit. Your social worker
by day, social media influencerby night. I like that. How do
you balance that? How do you dotell us how, how does the
average day of Blair ChanningRay actually go?
(26:01):
I wake up in the morning, I saya prayer of gratitude. I
meditate for 10 minutes. I do 40minutes of yoga, and I tell
myself, I'm going to have a goodday. I love that to start doing
that because, and it works,because you have to set the tone
(26:21):
for the day. And yeah, sothroughout the day, I'm helping
people on the vocational sidewith their careers, and mostly
veterans. And then on the otherside, I'm online. I don't
consider social media even apastime anymore. It's like, I
(26:43):
could do it in my sleep. Youknow, if someone sends me a DM,
it's like, okay, posting sure Ican get that schedule. Someone
asked me, I saw you at a dinner.How'd you just post schedule?
You missed the perfectopportunity. I can't tell you
all my tricks. I'm magic. That'swhy you like me,
(27:07):
yeah? And I like both sides saysocial work is different,
because, again, you're doing asocial thing. You're working
with people. So that's my forte.I
love that. I love that. Yeah. Sowhen you decided to make the run
at social media, what was itthat kind of just kind of
(27:27):
determined that that was a pathyou wanted to explore as well,
in addition to your day job,
I like connecting. I am alwayslooking to hear different
stories, not necessarily forfauda, but if I get some, that's
good too. Everyone has a story,and I just feel really good
(27:50):
about making an impact at theend of the day, if I've made an
impact, I'm even more thankfulfor the day I
love that Well, I can tell youfrom being a fan, you make the
impact in a big, big way. Somission accomplished for
sure. Thank you much.
You you mentioned it, and Ireally want to give you know the
(28:11):
proper space for thisconversation, this topic, but
mental health is important toyou. You've you've had, you
know, your own dealings with it.You are not shy about why it's
important to you and why peopleneed to be more forthright about
coming to talk, because thereare resources and opportunities
to deal with some of thesethings that maybe people are
(28:33):
dealing with in isolation orwith a certain amount of shame.
So what is it about thatmission, that approach, that is
important to you, and what doyou want to do
with it? For me, being anadvocate for bipolar disorder is
beneficial because it's one ofthose things that, um, it
(28:57):
frequently gets misdiagnosed.For a long time, I was diagnosed
with the only anxiety anddepression, and so for like,
five to six years, I just hadthese bouts of depression and
couldn't figure out what wasgoing on in the other times when
I wasn't depressed, but alsowasn't really in the moment, not
(29:18):
in a good head space. So I spokewith the provider, who asked me
a litany of questions, somequestionnaire I remember, and
the next thing I know, she goes,Oh yeah, you're bipolar. And it
just it was such a relief. Ifelt like the clouds had open,
(29:40):
the sun was coming out. But Imean, when you know something's
wrong with you and no one'ssaying anything, it's like, no,
there's got to be something. SoI had an answer to my question,
and from there, I wondered, howmany other people are out there
struggling with bipolardisorder, and mostly the um. Um,
the depression. People think thedepression gets you to a point
(30:03):
where it's debilitating. Itdoes, but the mania is also just
as debilitating. You don't go tosleep with insomnia. You maybe
you want to interact with peopletoo much, reckless behavior,
spending habits that are out ofcontrol, you know, so the more I
(30:26):
can talk about those things andkeep people aware. Then again,
I'm making an impact. I'm doingmy part. I just want to leave
this one knowing I've made adifference in someone's life.
Well, I can tell you, missionaccomplished. You made a
difference in my life. You, byextension, made a difference in
someone who I shared yourprofile with that when I was at
(30:47):
a conference speaking in LasVegas a couple of weeks ago that
I'm not even sure how theconversation came up, but they
were, they were asking mesomething about a video they had
seen on my Instagram, and then Iguess they follow my comments
and they had seen your profile,and they're like, oh, you know,
what can you tell me about thisperson? I said, Well, I'm gonna
get to know her a lot more,because I'm gonna be
(31:08):
interviewing her. But the funnything about it that I not funny,
haha. But, you know, coincidencekind of funny was that I
mentioned to her. I said, youknow, thing I really respect and
admire about what players do.And is, when you look at people
from the outside, you think theygot it all figured out. Like,
you know, here's this womanthat's like, Vogue model,
(31:29):
pretty. She's got thepersonality that never ends.
She's got this great like thing,right? This public perception.
And yet, then you have thehonesty about why this
particular focus is important toyou, and why we need to be more
open to conversation about it. Iknow it's the thing a lot of
(31:50):
people are like, Oh, we shouldall be talking about it. But I
actually reminded this lady. Isaid it's just a reminder that,
you know, when we see people andsee certain things, it's a
reminder that there is you don'tsee everything, and there's
people that are dealing withstruggles day in and day out.
And why that made me that whatyou just said made that come up
(32:10):
in my heart was because you youwant to bring that out from the
shadows. You want to help peopleknow that you're not alone and
you're not you're the only onedealing with this, and that you
are living your life as anexample, someone that can, you
know, battle through it in and,you know, continue to fight
another day. And I think that'sjust so inspirational.
(32:32):
Yeah, because you can, yeah, youcan, yep, well,
and that's, that's what I'msaying. I think I you, I put you
up on a pedestal, someone thatjust is proof of an example of
someone that can continue to notgive up and will continue to
show up and not just say, well,this is my situation or my
(32:52):
affliction, what I'm dealingwith. And like, woe is me, but
like, no, wow is me, and this iswhat you can do to get through
it. And I think you do atremendous job of that.
Thank you, Steve, that reallymeans conceived so doing
speeches, I talked about aperiod in time where I had a
(33:12):
bout with major depressivedisorder and I suffer from
suicide adulation, and it wasvery scary for me, because in my
mind, you know, you think Idon't want to be here anymore. I
don't want to deal with this.And it wasn't so much that I
(33:34):
wanted to die. I wanted myproblems to die, and coming back
to myself, getting grounded inmy own spirituality, my belief
in me, and I was able to find away out. And I know some people
who never do, or they succumb tothat influence, and then you
(33:59):
have families around. I thinkthe biggest thing too, is that I
knew that as long as I wasbreathing, there was an
opportunity for change. So I'mtoday, and I like talking about
that, because not like I said,not all of us make it to see the
(34:22):
next day. Yeah,
yeah, oh, that's so powerful.And yes, you absolutely need TED
Talk for that. You need to getthat message out. So we are,
we're gonna figure that. We'regonna figure that out.
Thank you so much.
So let me ask you, like, I knowyou said you like enjoy writing.
(34:43):
Are you writing for purpose? Areyou writing for fiction? You
know, like you like tellingstories that make up in your own
head. What? Where's the areathat you like to spend the most
time when you're actually likein the flow of writing?
Probably purpose, because I doso much research. Yeah, I see
from. You to go down a rabbithole on Google, start looking at
(35:04):
anxiety. Next thing you know,you're doing anxiety and
relationships. Then you're doingrelationships and attachment
theories. And yeah, it can godown any tangent. And
occasionally I do pivot tofiction. Everyone has a creative
writing streak in them, I thinkso. There's this character I
(35:24):
like called Abigail, not thedoll, but just name of a
character named Abigail. Andshe's, um, she's a newspaper
journalist from the 80s, andshe's trying to get started with
her own ad company. And as youknow, at that time, in the 80s,
(35:44):
a black woman with an ad companythat was not, not gonna happen.
Yeah, I've been piecing thattogether for years, but maybe
one day. Oh,
that's awesome. I love that.
So one of the one of my guestsfrom a couple years back, but
she's a good friend of mine.She's a professor at the
University of Oklahoma. She is afiction writer, and she's had
(36:06):
several of her books selfpublished, all of them, I think,
and she's had a couple of themactually opted by a Hallmark and
lifetime. So she she might be agood connection for you just to
talk. She loves talking writing,and she loves helping other
women. Publication
is so hard, though they say it
is actually, but, I mean,there's, there's multiple ways
(36:29):
to go about it, right? But thethe vast majority of like,
especially fiction writers, theydon't make a lot of money
because, you know, a the bookprice is very low anyway, so
their percentage of what theydo, and then, if you go through
an agent, and then you gothrough a publisher, and then
you're doing all this stuff. Thewhen I, when I produced my book,
had a really famous author thatwas kind of one of my all time
(36:50):
business heroes, and I wasfortunate enough to meet him
during my writing process, andit was actually trying to get
signed by an agent and attractthe attention of a publisher.
And he's like, dude, if I wasstarting at your age, I would
never do anything but selfpublish, you know? And I'm like,
Oh, really. And he's like, Yeah,give me your address. I'm going
to send you some stuff. And Ihad no idea what he was going to
(37:11):
send me, but I asked him, beforeour time was up, I said, Well,
I'm curious why? Because you'relike, with one of the best
publishers out there. And hesaid, I don't know my content. I
do it. I do all the work. And hesaid, and I do get paid some
nice rain, some, you know, I'mpaid handsomely for my, you
know, signing bonuses. And, youknow, there's, I've made it so
I've got some financial securitybuilt into my deal. But he's
(37:35):
like, I'm still doing all thework, and I do it for, you know,
a third of what I should begetting paid, and then I have to
ask permission of the publisherto go and do speeches or to do
workshops or trainings on myconcepts, which I put in their
book, right? And I'm like, wow,I was just like, I was such a,
you know, just didn't know I wasimmature in the space. And he
(37:58):
said, No, if you, if you do theself publishing. Not only do you
control everything, you alsoabsorb those costs, but it's not
as expensive as you think. Butthen you own it, and you don't
ever have to go through somebodyelse in order to, like, sell it.
If it's a screenplay or opt itfor, you know, a series or or
you can negotiate the deals thatmake the most sense to you. And
I would tell you, I mean, mythird edition of my book, I need
(38:20):
to write another book. But youknow, when it's not broke, why
fix it? But it's this thing hasmade more money than I ever
anticipated from a little sideproject. And so, Third Edition,
yeah, third edition of my book,yeah. Um. But my friend
Kimberly, she like, seems toproduce these kind of romance
novels that come out like, seemlike, every 12 to 18 months. But
(38:42):
she has a rhythm. She has aprocess. She's got a couple of
characters that like yours, thatshe's now followed through
multiple books, and then she'sgot this fan base, and she's
done it all pretty much on herown. And because of that, she
gets preparations. Yeah. So,yeah. So you didn't know I was,
like, going to be able to hookyou up, like, you know, cool
(39:03):
authors and Ted people. It'srippling. Is rippling. That's
what
it is. It ripples on, rippleson, hey, can I get a t shirt? I
was going to ask you about thatAbsolutely.
Yep, yeah. What color do youwant? This is orange, but I can
get you oranges. Orange is good.All right, cool, cool. Um, so,
(39:25):
so you're working on that kindof on the side, and then, for
purpose, are you working asidefrom this book? Are you working
on any other projects from awriting perspective? No,
I think that's keeping me busy,and it's only because I'm
starting to go out more, andeventually I'd like to get more
involved with the community.Yeah, you know, gonna make it
(39:47):
home here? Um, so, yeah, that'sabout it, and that blog is gonna
keep me busy. I think, I thinkso you got to put content up
there, and you gotta turn it outin order to get readers. And
it's just a lot of work, but Iknow you're helping me, so,
yeah, well, I'm gonna promotethe hell out of you, for sure,
because, I mean, so I'm curious,why did you pick medium versus,
(40:10):
like any of the other platformsout there, medium
works for me, because I actuallythink medium is a cool place for
writers, like some very hipwriters, and I think of it as,
like, the alt version. If we hadan MSNBC for blogs, it would be
(40:33):
medium, yeah. It's just veryprogressive. It's what
Huffington Post used to be,yeah, yeah, to me, yep, that's
my algorithm anyway. Yeah,
I love that. So when you're notdoing the social work by day and
you're not being a social mediainfluencer by night and you're
(40:53):
writing in between, what do youdo with the rest of your free
time?
I'm doing karaoke androllerblading and making
playlists.
I was going to ask you about the
playlist. OK, and my playlisthelped me with my karaoke,
that's
all. So what? What's yourfavorite song to sing in
(41:14):
karaoke?
Oh, what's love got to do withit? By Tina Turner, yeah, she
set it all up for me. It wasTina Turner. When I was a little
girl, I was like, Oh, my God, sothat's what I'm going to look
like when I get older. Yeah, notlike my grandma's friend down
the street. But
(41:39):
it's sad. Tina was probably 10years older than her too, right?
Just say it. That's
awesome. So do you karaoke veryoften?
I do about, um, once a week oronce every two weeks, dang
often. That's awesome. And Idon't have to go with the group
either, but if I have a group,I'll get
(42:02):
that's cool. That's cool. So androllerblading.
I love rollerblading ever sinceI was a kid. You grew up in 80s.
You know what a roller derby is.I never grew out of it.
So you're just rollerblading,but you're not doing the roller
derby yet. And goodbye yourpassion in wrestling right
(42:25):
there.
Let's discuss something, Stevesee at this advanced stage,
there's no way, there's no wayI'm going on anywhere
you can break a hip that way.
(42:45):
I like being mobile. Yeah, Ilike it, right? Yeah.
They always say, you know, thatwalking is overrated. I don't
think so. That's what my wifetells me, because I still play
on two soccer teams, and I wassoccer coach for a long time,
and I get out there and I comehome, I'm like, beat up, like
(43:06):
I'm the old guy
for soccer team. It's always at
night, Wednesday or Fridaynights, you know, those are my
mental, mental release nights.Oh,
wow, that's crazy softwarecompany podcast to soccer
squads. Oh, and he's marriedtoo. So your wife's like, my
(43:29):
time, here my time. Or
like, hey, go. I need my time.
Forgot about that. She's like,Yeah, I've known you way too
long. Go ahead, play soccer,
just don't call me when you hurtsomething, because I'm not
getting out of bed to go get youat the ER,
yeah. That's just the concern wehave to worry about. Yeah.
(43:55):
The older you get the Yeah,injury pain hurts. It turns out
you i shatter my right afterCOVID, like November 21 I
shattered my shoulder playingsoccer, and I thought, I
thought, Okay, first of all, I'mnot a keeper. I shouldn't be
(44:17):
hurting my shoulder. But I, I I,when they went in, they had
shattered the whole backside ofit. So I have, like, a metal
bar. I'm like, part Iron Mannow, because it just, like, goes
from here to here. No, somehowit doesn't ding. I don't know
they and I haven't been wantedor anything. So I'm like, Hey,
that must give me some, like,super new, you know, special,
(44:41):
you know,
million dollar man version,yeah, yeah, well,
that was my favorite seriesgrowing up in the 70s. So we
have the technology we canrebuild him. Doesn't make him
any smarter, but we'll rebuildhim. Sasquatch,
Bigfoot. Oh, I loved it everytime Bigfoot was on there, yeah,
(45:05):
yeah, the
Bigfoot. And it was Steve Austinwith Jamie summers The Bionic
Woman, and they had to take him
on, yeah. Oh, wait a minute, Ithought that was Lindsay Wagner.
Well, the actress is but JamieSummers was the bionic, Oh,
okay. Was the, yeah, SteveAustin was, like, the coolest
name ever. So I was, like, whenI moved awesome, like Steve
(45:28):
Austin, I mean, I still have theaction figure somewhere. I gotta
find you, because that'sawesome.
This is my Steve Austin was sopopular with my aunt, I think
she had like, two posters up,and then he came out with the
fall guy or so weird obsession,yeah, Tim and fair.
(45:51):
Oh yeah,
I know too much about her peoplemagazines. My aunt rare people.
So it's like, oh, okay, okay,okay, yeah,
my mom did too. That's the onlyway I got any social here. That
was for these people are like,What the hell are you guys
talking about? It's like, thiswas social before there was
social. That's where you got thenews every week. Like, who's
(46:12):
dating? Who? Who broke up with,who not end up with? Bionic Man.
I don't know. It just happened.
Crazy, crazy. That's awesome.
I Well, listen, I could talk toyou all day. I had such deep
affection for you and whatyou're doing and the impact
you're making to the world. Oneof the things I like to do with
(46:32):
this show, however, is, althoughpeople will see that you got
personality for days, they don'tprobably need to see any. You
know, they don't need proof ofthat. But I always like to ask
some ripple connection.Questions, just to give people a
different sense of who my guestis. Are you okay with that? Oh,
wow. Okay. They're fun to ask,fun to answer. So there are no
gotchas here. But what did theseven year old version of Blair
(46:56):
want to be when she grew up?
Oh, an entertainer in
it, and in what capacity,
singing, come on, yeah,
I didn't want to assume, I mean,you, you were seven, I don't
know you're you're followingSasquatch on television. So, I
mean, you could have been anactor, right? Tina Turner,
(47:19):
that's true. Yeah, you're right.You did say that was a clue for
sure. What about you know, Imean, you only turned 26 once,
so you're just now, probablyjust 26 What do you want to be
now when you grow up?
Impactful? I love that. I lovethat.
What's the best thing you couldhear someone that you've worked
(47:42):
with through your social worksay about you as a person,
that I was empathetic and kind,and they're present.
I love that. I love that. What
if they were to make a movieabout Blair's life, what would
(48:05):
the title be
to the woman I was? Oh,
I love that.
Yeah, it's an essay I'm workingon. And I that was an easy one
for me, because I that
if you if you weren't singingand you weren't writing and you
(48:26):
weren't doing the Social Workthing, what would you be doing?
I'd probably be somewheresipping on a pina colada. Nah.
Seriously, for fun, I know, orfor work,
either one. Yeah, what would you
(48:48):
one of my favorite hobbies iscollecting magazines, really
fashion magazines. I still havemagazines from like 1991
No kidding,
so that's one of my things. Somepeople like stamps. I like
fashion magazines.
Yours is infinitely moreinteresting than stamps. Let me
(49:11):
tell you,
Hey, have you seen CindyCrawford from 1991
nice.
I know there. You could put thaton eBay right now, and probably,
you know, make a house paymentwith it. You know, the
most I've seen, I think it wasan L or vote cover, and that was
(49:33):
from 89 it wasn't worth morethan, like, 30
so, so you're not collecting foryour future fortune. You're not
sitting you're not sitting onthe goldmine of opportunity.
I just say one day somebody'sgonna go through my stuff and be
like she was a weird one. Yeah,quirky is, yeah. Quirky.
(50:01):
Is that your goal?
Somebody have that you'll belooking down be like I knew, I
knew it.
If I get caught, I get caught,it's okay. I
mean, you just ratted yourselfout so you're kind of caught.
Anyways,
true. But how do you know Idon't have this up on my profile
(50:22):
somewhere?
Steve, this is true. That's verytrue. That's very true. I
thought about it. Well, sinceyou're writing a book about
social media and the psychologyof social media, what is it
about that topic that fascinatesyou?
Besides the characters, zanycharacters, just a different
(50:46):
topics. It's a microcosm, ofcourse, of the world, and it's
right there at our fingertips.And I think the way that we
interact with people says a lotabout ourselves.
Yeah, yep, I love that. What doyou think your interaction says
about you?
My interaction says that I'mquirky, definitely funny, at
(51:10):
least I think I'm funny. Yeah,
you're definitely
and chatty.
Chatty. I love that. Chatty.Yeah, that's
good. I like that. If you couldgive one piece of advice to a
woman of color that's cominginto her career and trying to
(51:30):
find her way in the world, whatwould it
be? Be yourself, be observantand always look for innovative
ways to do things differently.It's helped me a lot. But the
last thing I'll say, and themost important thing, is always
say, thank you.
(51:50):
I love that. I love that. That'sfantastic. If you were to
potentially think back to whohad a direct influence in
helping you become the awesomeperson you are today. Who would
you give that credit to, and why
that credit solely goes to mydad for his presence in my life
(52:14):
and for helping me accept theperson that I am. Yeah, yeah,
when your parent knows him andthey can help you, like, ground
yourself, that's your big deal.
Yeah, that's great. No doubthe's looking down on you and
very, very proud of the personyou've become. And, yeah, that's
(52:35):
awesome. Yeah, I love that. Lovethat. So last couple of
questions. If people want to getin touch with you or follow you
on social, what's the best waythat you'd like them to do that
you want to go to your website?Do you have a handle?
(52:55):
I have the I writer girl handle,and you know, it's so original
that people have added numbersand letters to the end, but no
one can get I write
a girl. They're not the original
Apple should pay me. I agree.But seriously, probably threads
(53:19):
and again, the user handle. Iwrite a girl is throughout
social media, blue sky medium,Twitter, X threads, Instagram,
all that.
Well, I gotta ask you, what'syour favorite social platform of
all of them?
Right now, I'm really lovingthreads, really, and I think
(53:40):
because it's wordy, and they'reactually some insightful
conversations, as well as bluesky, I'm all about, you know,
the interaction conversations.
That's awesome. I love that.Well, last two questions, when
you hear the words The RippleEffect, what does that conjure
up in your mind? How does thatwhat's your reaction to those
words? When
(54:01):
I hear The Ripple Effect, Ithink immediately of water,
ripples in the water, but, um,also like actions, reverb,
reverberating.
Yeah, that's good. I love that.It's great definition.
Um, how'd you come up with that?By the way,
great question. I saw sold acompany in 2004 and started to
(54:25):
write a book for I thought wasgoing to be for salespeople,
because I saw so many badsalespeople out there that
didn't understand what it tookto make a career in sales that
it wasn't about transaction.It's about relationships, right?
And if you build a relationshipwith a client, you take care of
them, you do what you say you'regoing to do. They have a
tendency to tell other peoplethat are of similar stature,
(54:46):
which brings more business andopportunity your way, so you
don't have to work as hard. AndI'm all about not working hard
if I can avoid it.
Not true, my wife, my wife wouldbe like liar. You are a liar.
But anyway,
but I. I started off there, andthen I got caught, like writer's
block, and the guy that wasworking with at the time said,
(55:06):
Well, what made you a goodentrepreneur? Because I had sold
this company. And day two ofselling the company on two of my
existing clients said, Hey, cometeach us about customer service
and leadership and businessdevelopment. I'm like me, like,
I don't do anything. I'm anobody, but they, they asked me
to come and do a talk, and thenthey paid me money, like I
didn't even ask for money, andthey gave me money. It was like,
(55:27):
damn, this. What is this? Thisis great. And, and I said, Well,
you know, it's kind of like, youknow, the Ripple Effect you cast
that stone, it creates thatsplash that you don't know how
deep your action goes, but onething is inevitable, and it's
science, a Ripple ripples out,but then it always ripples back
to where the point of origin,right? So when you create a
(55:48):
positive ripple for someone,whether you pay them a
compliment, you make them smile,you make them feel seen. You
give them a hug when they'rehaving a rough day, you
acknowledge whatever the issueor challenge might be, but you
don't like bash them for it. YouYou do something to show them
that you are there, and you seethem as another person. And
(56:10):
that's true for humaninteractions. Or it could just
be you walking across theparking lot and picking up that
Coke, you know, can that's nowbeing crushed a dozen times and
throwing it in the trash canright contribution back to my
world. But every action that wehave has, in some form or
fashion a way of returning backto us, and it often happens in
ways that we don't expect.
(56:30):
So that's "Ripple On." That'sRipple. Yep, yeah.
And so "Ripple On" was sort of astupid way to look at this, but
when I first brought out mybook, I thought, you know, I
would sell maybe a couple 100copies of my book, and my dad
would buy the rest of theinventory, and I'd be done, you
know, from there. But I had abook signing and had people I
hadn't even seen or invited. Iwas like, What the hell, the
(56:52):
hell are these people even know,it's free booze and food, but
like, it was like the dinnerbell for people I hadn't even
talked to in years. And thenpeople came through the kind of
the receiving line, and I wassigning the books, and as I got
my first book, the gal that washelping me, she said, Well, you
need, you need a signature,like, you need something like,
other than your name, you need amoniker of some sort. I'm like,
(57:14):
I don't shit. I don't know whatit should be. And I was like,
oh, "Ripple On." Like, okay, andI'll just Ripple On. I thought
that's for tonight, that I'llnever stick, and here it is 16
years later. It was prettyawesome. But what was amazing to
me was how many people camethrough for this little, tiny
book at the time, and it's nowexpanded and grown to the third
(57:36):
edition. But third edition,yeah, Third Edition. I wrote
during COVID, because I wasn'tsure at the time if we would be
if that was going to be our onlypandemic. And what I saw was,
see, I'm naturally introvertedand shy. People are not my jam.
And I told you in my email, Iwas nervous to even record with
(57:56):
you, because you're a rock star.But the funny thing is, is
during COVID, I saw people whothe extroverts who were
accustomed to being aroundpeople really climbing the
walls, and even my introvertedpeople who hate people, were
like, I need some freakingpeople in my life. And so we
started looking at, okay, well,how are people using social
media tools? At the time, wewanted to expand the stories,
(58:20):
because it had been, you know,at that point, it had been 11
years since I brought out thefirst edition. The second
edition had done well. But everytime I speak, every time someone
finds the book, somebody ends upcoming back with a story of how,
you know, you would havethought, you know, if I gone
down one path, you know, lifewould have been one way, but I
went down the other path, andlife turned out so much better
than I expected. And thoselittle things, those little act,
(58:43):
you know, those little actionsthat happen in our lives and our
careers, those are all, what Ibelieve is Ripples, right? So we
expanded those stories, and thenthe book sold, you know, really,
really well post pandemic,mainly because people were
bored, or maybe they didn't haveheat and they needed firewood.
Or, you know, kindling,
a third edition of a book, yeah,
(59:03):
yeah. It's, it's been a it'sbeen The Little Engine That
Could. I never expected it to beas well received as as it has
been. But, you know, it's atextbook for three major
universities. I've got people asfar as Australia, New Zealand
that have reached out to me,like, Hey, I got this book. I
love it. Love your take on it.But what is advanced beyond the
(59:27):
book is like, actually, theRipple Image. The book was a
process, and it was told from anentrepreneur's perspective, and
it wasn't just sales. It was,hey, how do you grow a business?
How do you grow a brand? How doyou grow a reputation? But where
it is actually evolved to now isit's, it's a movement, it's a
community. It's people like methat want to get together and
want to actually add value andcontribute to other people's
(59:49):
lives. And we don't keep score,we don't, don't expect payback,
I don't expect, you know, quidpro quo. If it happens, it
happens. But my belief is thatyou create enough positive
actions out there in the world.Old, it'll take care of you, you
know, the you know, you call itkarma. You could call it ripple.
You could call it the butterflyeffect. You could call it, you
know, pay it forward, whateverit is. But there's not enough of
(01:00:11):
us out there trying to do it onthe on the regular, right, on
the daily basis. And so, allright, my intent with this book
is basically to change people'sperspectives, and especially now
when the vast majority of us canonly communicate through these
devices, right? You know, we'reno good with human to human
interaction. We need to teachpeople to get better at that.
And you and I are kind of proofof that. We didn't know each
(01:00:33):
other beforehand, but I kind offelt like we were friends. You
were super great to work with toget this scheduled, but at the
end of the day, you're exactlyas advertised, and I knew you
would be and I knew you'd beeven more awesome, because you
just see these things in people,and you just know that they're
gifts that got placed in yourpath for a reason. And if you
miss that, that's on you, right?And I think the vast majority of
(01:00:55):
us miss it, because we're socaught up in our own our own
nonsense, so trying to, youknow, impart the wisdom, to get
people to understand what theconcept is and get it out there.
Well, thank you for providingthat sage wisdom.
Oh, my God, I might need you toI may have to clip just that
part and actually show that tomy wife, like somebody, somebody
(01:01:16):
gets me
wisdom. I take that back and Ihave that "Let's Ripple!!!" in yellow.
yeah, I can, I can work on that.I can work on that. I don't know
if I have yellow, to be honestwith you, I have blue, a black,
I have red, I have
blue. You have what? I'll takeblack. Take
black. All right, I'll get it toyou so you'll, you'll email me
(01:01:39):
your address. I'll ripple thatonto you. How about that?
That works for me. My lastquestion is, what? Oh,
yeah. One last question for youis, what is a Ripple I could be
looking to create for you? WhatRipples could I create for you?
Ripples you could create for mewould probably most likely be
(01:02:02):
opportunities to speak more.Okay,
so I already have an idea there.We'll we'll connect offline
about that, but I definitelyhave a
yeah, you move fast.
I'm like a jack rabbit on ablind date.
Oh, my God. Why am I takingBruce Almighty when hes like, oh,
(01:02:30):
oh, my God. I haven't thoughtabout that movie in like
forever.
Yes, okay, that's
awesome. Well, I will, I willdefinitely keep an eye open for
opportunities to get you onstage and both speaking and
maybe singing. Who knows,
I'm always available for both.Just so, yeah,
awesome. Well, I just have tosay, this has been an absolute
(01:02:53):
blast, and I am so grateful thatyou took the time to do this. I
know we had some back and forthon the schedule, because you're
a world traveler and in demandand all that. And I appreciate
your patience as I dealt withsome stuff with my dad. But I'm
really, really grateful for yourfriendship, and so grateful to
know you, and I'm a huge fan andhappy to help and support you
(01:03:14):
any way I can.
Likewise, and thank you, and Ihope things get better with your dad.
I appreciate it. Yeah, it's,it's, it's interesting times.
Let's put it that way so youknow for sure. But guys, we'll
be back again with anotherepisode of The Ripple Effect
Podcast. But until then, Blair,Ripple On!!!
I am so absolutely grateful thatBlair Channing Rae stopped by
the ripple effect podcast today.This woman is someone that
caught my eye and attention onsocial media. I have loved every
time her post pops up on X orTwitter or whatever the hell
Elon's calling it today, andInstagram, because she is light
(00:22):
up the screen. Her smilesinfectious. Her attitude about
the world is infectious. Herdesire to create positivity out
there in the world isinfectious. She's a Navy
veteran. She is a social workerby day, and a social media
influencer by night. She's awriter. She is got a personality
(00:44):
that doesn't quit. You're goingto see that in this interview.
Blair Channing Rae is the realdeal. When you think about great
people who enter your life, thatshow up in unexpected times, we
often ignore these things, and Idon't know what it was about
reaching out to her, connectingwith her many gosh, probably
(01:05):
over a year ago now, but therewas a spark. And the spark was
the thread of friendship and adesire to get to know me, and a
desire to get to know how we cancontribute to one another's
lives. And it has taken a whilefor us to get this thing
scheduled, but I'm so gratefulwe stayed patient and focused
and diligent to get it done.When you see this interview, the
(01:28):
camaraderie, the rapport, theyou'll be like, hey, these guys
got to be friends for like, wayback with this today, it was the
first day we actually met onvideo. Everything else has been
email or social mediaconversations. The beautiful
thing about that is this justgoes to prove that if you put
your time and your energy andgetting to know people, they can
(01:48):
be clear across the world, clearacross the state, clear across
your city. Never meet them inperson. Hopefully I will meet
her in person one day. But thatyou can turn a connection, an
ordinary connection intosomething extraordinary. And I'm
so grateful for her support. I'mgrateful for her being in my
life and just the fact that wecould do this. I think when you
(02:12):
listen to this interview or youwatch it on YouTube, you're
gonna see what I saw, which is awoman who is on a mission to
make a difference and do greatthings in this world, because
she's gone through theseexperiences. She understands the
challenges with mental health,she knows what we're up against
in so many ways, and she is notrunning from the fight. She is
(02:32):
going headlong into it. And shehas a mission to change the
world, and I have no doubt in mymind that she will. And with no
further ado, let's dive into ourinterview with Blair Channing Rae!
(03:03):
Guys, I am super excited to havemy good friend and, you know,
just a character, join me todayfor this podcast, Blair Channing
Rae is joining us for The Ripple Effect Podcast. I met Blair
online through Instagraminitially, and then started
following her on a couple ofother platforms. And I'll tell
(03:25):
you why I follow her, becausethere are people that just make
you smile when their posts popup, and she is one of those
people. She exudes positivity,she exudes what we're about at
the Ripple and I'm so gratefulshe squeezed us into her jam
packed schedule to come join ustoday. So Blair, welcome to the
ripple effect podcast. How areyou doing? Thank
you, Steve, thank you for havingme. I'm doing great. I wish it
(03:48):
were warmer here, but, you know,we're waiting on it. It's
spring, at least
it's spring. So tell everybodywhere you are. You know, in in
the US. Right now,
I am in Washington, DC, andright now we're coming up on the
cherry Boston festival. Yeah,that's a big deal here, and so
(04:10):
I'm looking forward to it. I'veonly lived here about four
years, and this will be my firsttime. Oh,
that's awesome. So is it like, abig thing down, like, on the
like near the National Monument,right the the whole area right
there. Yeah. Oh, that's awesome.So what is it about the festival
(04:32):
that attracted you this year,but not the last three Ah,
well, I'm familiar with a lotmore people, so it's more of a
social affair. Getting me wrong,I have zero issues going out by
myself. But for something likethat, I like to be around
natives who understand. And mostof my friends are transplants,
(04:52):
like I am. They don't get it,yep, yeah. Sometimes they're
natives and they can explaineverything
that's perfect. Yeah? Yeah. Imean, that's the way to go. You
get the inside scoop. You getthe, you know, all that
undisclosed knowledge of peoplethat have been doing it forever,
and they tell you where to go,what to do,
yeah, I
(05:13):
like it. You're Rippling whenyou're doing that. That's
awesome, yeah?
And they like looking at itthrough my lens, because it's
like, oh yeah, I've never lookedat it like that before. She's a
first timer.
Well, so let me ask you, whatbrought you to the DC area?
Well, I've always wanted to livein a big city, so when I was six
(05:35):
years old, I told my mom and dadI was going to live in New York.
And they were like, Sure,everyone says that. And my uncle
and auntie had this show thatthey like to watch called Green
Acres. Oh, boys character. She'slike, darling, I love you, but
give me Park Avenue. And I justlooked at my mom and dad like,
(05:58):
yeah, you know, I like thecountry, but the city's calling
my name. So after leaving NorthCarolina for a couple of years,
I finally got the opportunity tocome here and get settled. And I
love living in an urban area.There's so much to do. Yeah,
yeah, DC is, I think a lot ofpeople sleep on DC, yeah,
(06:22):
there's so much culture. There'sso much to do while you're there
and and that's even outside of,like, what people know, like the
Smithsonian National Museum,those, those things are great,
but they have so many like, coolthere's a great theater vibe,
there's a great nightlife.There's just an energy and
enthusiasm, and if you can stayaway from all the politicians,
(06:44):
it's a really cool place to be.
Well, good luck with that. Ifind that DC is pretty insular,
like if you live there, youdon't really hang out much
outside of that. I think theI've been to Manassas, I've been
to Leesburg, and those areprobably like, too far out for
(07:06):
most people, yeah? But, um,yeah, DC is just the nice, right
type of vibe. I like thediversity. I like all the
amenities you name. But let'snot forget the food. Yes, yes.
Food is great.
Yeah, yeah. I love that. I lovethat. So you are finding your
traction there after four years.Now you're going to be like all
(07:29):
the rest of the natives and belike, this is the Cherry Blossom
Festival. It's not it's not beenpopping until you showed up, and
then now, all of a sudden, it'son a new level.
Well, I'm going to try and getas many people to go with me
this year so we can make it atheme. Yeah, I just think it
would be so cool to get someannual stuff in, because I don't
have my own traditions here.
(07:49):
That's well, you know, if theyselect you as the cherry blossom
queen, then you'll have thewhole entourage following you
next year. So I
don't know if I want that kindof attention, though.
It could be over the top. Couldbe too much, right?
Too much. Didn't have to go allanonymous online, and no one
could find me.
(08:12):
Well. So speaking of online,that's how you and I connected,
right? And one of the thingsthat I really want to say to
your face, that I feel like youneed to hear is you exude a
level of positivity and just,you know, the best way I could
describe you is a ray ofsunshine, right? You really have
a really phenomenal way of justimproving people's day by the
(08:37):
posts that you make. And I justlove your take on a lot of
things. I like your approach. Ilike your energy and your vibe.
How is it that you found yourway on to like the platforms
like Instagram? Are you tryingto tell us a little bit about
that journey into social andkind of what you want to do with
it and how you're doing it,because I know kind of one of
your strengths is focusing onwriting, right? And that's the
(08:57):
area that most interests you. Sotell us a little bit about how
the social, you know, platformscame to be, and what your
experience has been so far.
So I'm thinking back really farnow. Steve's like, let's go back
to AOL
chat room. There's no way you'reold enough to know AOL. There's
(09:18):
no way
I'm gonna take you back, thenostalgia is going to hit you
over the head. AOL chat rooms,and I got started connecting
with people from differentareas, and I liked it, yeah. And
along with being able to expressyourself, not so much behind the
(09:39):
screen, but just with words, youknow, and so I think it was when
MySpace and Facebook took offthat I realized I had a knack
for connecting with people andwas great with content. And it.
(09:59):
Took off from there. A year intoit, I decided to start talking
about my mental healthstruggles. I do live with
bipolar disorder, and so thatwas a little frightening at
first to share, but just havingthat community come around,
because there are other peopleout there going through it,
(10:22):
really people say that, butthere really are. So getting
that community with me reallyhelped me make some strides in
my mental health, and fromthere, I've just combined a
little bit of advocating formental health as well as
connecting with more people forthe opportunity to tell some
(10:42):
stories, which I'm currentlyworking on now in a book of
essays called the socialexperiment. And it's just like
it sounds, you know, we've gotsocial media, so it's like an
experiment of sorts, and I'vejust gone back to about 2007 and
taken different accounts onlineand written them up in a cute
(11:05):
little set of essays. Oh,
that's awesome. Can you give us,like a idea of the framework of
the essays, where you're, youknow, where you're kind of
focused on? Are you trying toprove out a theory? Are you
trying to illuminate, you know,how different there is now
versus then? Or
I could go back for now versusthen. Really, it's just to get
(11:26):
some important topics out there.I'm really big on again. We're
talking mental health,Alzheimer's disorder, hmm, some
family stuff, because I recentlywent on ancestry. My father's
dad passed away when he was veryyoung, and my grandmother moved
(11:50):
the family away from the hair inlaws. And just from there, we've
got a really bad, interestingbackstory, a family of
sharecroppers who migrated,really, to the north, the great
migration, as I'm sure you'veheard about, yep, and everyone
went off to college and gotgreat careers, and just we have
(12:12):
a generation of scholars in ourfamily. So I'd like to talk more
about that. That's myrelationship with my dad, who
recently passed away fromAlzheimer's, and working through
the grief has helped me find thestrength to restart my vlog and
get back out there with theseessays. So that's what I'm
(12:33):
working on now. That's
That's great. Well, you and Ihave that in common. My mom
suffered with Alzheimer's for 10years, and it is, in fact,
actually did another interviewjust a little while ago for the
podcast. It was talking to thatguest about Alzheimer's and just
how, how absolutely devastatingit is. She's dealing with it
with one of her parents rightnow, and just how hard. And, you
(12:56):
know, people don't recognize theupheaval it causes in a family.
You know, there's, there'svarious stages, right? But I was
reminding her, because she's inone of the rough stages that but
her, her parent, can stillrecognize, sort of recognize
people. And I said, you know, Ihad somebody reset the
perspective for me back when mymom was going through it was
(13:16):
that it's hard on you, and it'shard on the family, but the gift
that it has to the person that'ssuffering from it is that every
day is a new day, and everyperson they see is a new friend.
Oh, wow. And so every day israther than look at it as the
negative, look at it as thegift. And for them, they get to
(13:36):
experience it all over again, asif it's the first time, because
for salmon is again, right? Like
that? Yeah, I think I love thepart that my dad never forgot me
and that just stuck with me. Buteveryone isn't that fortunate.
No, no, there's a differentfeeling when your mom or dad
(14:01):
don't recognize you because ofthat?
Yeah. I mean, your wholeidentity is wrapped up in that
recognition, you know, in a lotof ways. And so I think that's
some very admirable work thatyou're going to be putting out,
and can't wait to read it. Forsure. What is it about writing
that really tickles your fancy?
Being able to express myself,because as a child, I had to
(14:24):
suppress a lot of things, um,growing up, it's like children
were to be seen, not alwaysheard. You know, I was boomer
parents. Yeah, boomer parentsfrom the south. So yes, No back
talk. No, I'm asking a question.Don't even question me. Yeah,
(14:48):
yeah. So
I found a notebook and startedwriting, and no one could say.
Anything to me, yeah, until mydad found it. And there were, I
mean, there were some unpleasantthings, but why are you reading
(15:09):
my notebook?
Yeah, yeah.
I didn't like that. I didn'thave any privacy. And when they
explained that, I couldn't evenclose the door, wow, I couldn't
let you grow
up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I you andI have that in common as well.
How was, you know, aside fromraised by Southern parents that
(15:31):
you know, might have ruled withan iron fist, how was growing up
in your home? What was that, youknow, what was that like? What
was the best parts of yourchildhood that you remember
best parts of my childhood aremy summer vacations. Okay? My
dad was a social worker, and hegot extra time off during the
(15:52):
summer. Somehow we gotThanksgiving and Christmas and
summers. So those Okay, thosevacations really helped me out.
And I think my thing aboutgrowing up, especially as a
little black girl in the 80s,was just having pop culture like
the Whitney Houston and princesfor music. And then, you know,
(16:15):
despite what Bill did The CosbyShow that being groundbreaking,
as well as the Fresh Prince ofBel Air, that was different
world. Yeah, different world wascorrect. So
it was like I was on the Comingof Age of a new Black
Entertainment era, yeah. And Ilove that from my childhood. I
(16:36):
mean, everyone loves 90s Hip Hopand R and B, come
on, yeah, like that. Yep,
gotta give him a side eyes,like, I don't trust you.
Yeah, I don't trust you. So thatwas the big thing. And I like
that. My parents advocatededucation because, like I said,
it's just, it's a really bigdeal. And probably my other
(17:00):
favorite thing about childhoodwas just my siblings and I, you
know, we played together, evenwe had this WrestleMania thing
that we did. I had two youngerbrothers, and they swore that
they could kick my butt, andthey could until one day I swore
I had my little brother pinneddown, and it was over, they tag
(17:23):
team and it was over. There wasno more Wrestlemania. They want.
No You know, what's reallypopular these days is to have
the comeback series might be agreat wonder. I mean, we get a
whole reality series going on,just the WrestleMania, the
(17:45):
rebirth,
those are some good times. Idon't care where anyone says. I
know it's fake, but I love it.That's
awesome. I love that well, so Iknow from your bio, you went
into the service, you'd probablyserved in the Navy. What
motivated inspired you to dothat? And first and foremost,
(18:07):
thank you for your service toour country, so I really want to
recognize that. But whatmotivated you to go to the Navy?
That's a that's kind of a bigleap for a girl from the south.
I
know it's a big deal, butactually, there are a lot of
girls from the south and theNavy, believe it or not,
Mississippi, Louisiana. For me,it was just time to tap into
(18:33):
that dream of leaving NorthCarolina. Yeah, I was deeply
involved with my circle, andeven my dad, you know, you
reminded me that, hey, you saidyou wanted more than this from
life. What's going on? So when Idropped out of school and just
was lost, and I found myself ina recruiter's office, and there
(18:54):
I was, yeah, going away.
So where did your service takeyou.
I only went to Jacksonville,Florida, okay? And this place
called Diego Garcia, yeah, and Iwas there for four years, and I
loved every minute of it. It'sthe camaraderie, it's the
(19:15):
everyone talks about the rulesand, oh, I don't want anyone
telling me what to do, but what?Where are you going to work
where no one told you what youdid? So I'm glad I didn't allow
that to negate how I was goingto experience the military. It's
the best thing for me. It allowsme to live the lifestyle I do
today. I wouldn't take anythingback, but I'm concerned about
(19:39):
the military today, just withgoing on, just the things going
on, and government in ouradministration, I'm deeply
involved with the LGBTQcommunity, and that it's
troublesome for me to know. Thatwe could possibly go back to a
(20:01):
time where you can't serve basedon your sexuality? Yeah, and the
other thing too, we had young,black and brown people coming in
more and more. What does it sayto them when our when their
forefathers and foremothers havegone before them and can't get
(20:22):
recognition because some reasonthat's tied to your skin tone. I
don't, I don't like that. I'dhave concerns about anyone
considering going in right now.Yeah,
I, I totally understand that.I'm actually speaking to a
military organization next Gosh,better look it up two weeks now.
(20:43):
But that the it's reallydesigned. It's an organization
called MERIS, and it's reallydesigned to help active military
find their footing and theiropportunities after they leave
the service, right. And sadly,the military doesn't matter
who's in office right. Has neverbeen good at supporting exiting
military to what's next, right,educating them on how do you
(21:06):
take what you learned in themilitary and apply that into the
civilian sector? How you cantake those skills, those values,
that honor and actually utilizethat as a strength in order to
land your next job? And they doa they do a really good job. I
spoke for them when they firstlaunched, 10 years ago. They've
got a 10 year conference reunionthat's coming up. But the thing
(21:26):
that I find that's a littleconcerning and alarming is the
number of people that aretransitioning out because
there's concerns about where itis, what's happening. The future
of the military doesn't matterwhat branch, and so their
numbers are significantly higherthan they ever have been. And
it's it's unfortunate too,because I think, and you may
(21:47):
have experienced this once yougot out as well, is that the
civilian world doesn't do a goodjob understanding the value and
the resources and the assetspeople that served in the
military are, they are just anabsolute gem. My I own a
software company in addition towhat I do for ripple. And one of
my best hires started off at thelowest level possible in my
(22:09):
little, you know, fledglinglittle software company, and now
he's my coo but he served in themilitary for 20 plus years, and
20 years of giving his life, andthen when he was ready to
retire, was almost like it neverhappened, right? And didn't have
resources, and kind of basicallygot told, hey, look, you know,
the best you could hope for is ajob at Jiffy Lube or work at a
warehouse, and this guy'srunning, you know, now, a multi
(22:32):
million dollar software companyand, you know, keeping me out of
trouble all the time, or gettingme into some occasionally, but
at the end of the day, you justgot to find people that believe
in you. And I feel like now thetransition, it's so hard, right?
Yeah, and that's what I meanabout the people going in,
(22:52):
transitioning into the military,because they're going to need a
mentor. You're going to needsomeone who watches over them,
has their best interest. I can'tsay wholeheartedly that that's
the case now, but I do speakwith veterans and some of our
experiences, I find that somepeople's experience were less
(23:12):
pleasant than others fordifferent reasons, but overall,
I think for the veterans whocame out during My era, we can
say that we did have support. Wehad our mentors in I cannot say
that for this generation ofyoung, yeah,
sadly, well, you know, yourreputation probably preceded you
(23:32):
as a wrestling, you know, champ.Before you got in, were you
wearing the belt on the firstday
or No, no, I'm more of a runner,so I'm a track star. Yeah, okay,
yeah.
So was that something you did inhigh school or in club or in
(23:52):
college? Actually? No, I
No one knew that I could rununtil I joined the Navy. No kids
so low key with it? Well, theycall me prissy, and said I
didn't do anything other whatwas the time? Boy too. But no
one thought I was athletic. Sowhen I scorched the earth and
(24:15):
boot camp, it was like, yeah,yeah. We were in a COVID group.
So I had, like, I was in a groupwith guys, so, yeah, yeah. And
then
you can just look back whenthey're like, where did that
come from? Be like, well, I am aWorld Wrestling Federation
(24:36):
champion. I mean, WrestleManiachampion 32 just saying, Guys,
couple of belts on me.
So you left the Navy, if youenjoyed it, it was time of your
life. Why did you transitionout?
I had to transition out becauseI didn't go into stay and I
wanted to pursue a career inentertainment. I really wanted
(24:58):
to work in entertainment. Yeah.Okay,
so you left that and what was itthat you were focused on to do
in entertainment at
that time? I was focused onscreenwriting and songwriting,
yeah, and so I was right downthe road from Orlando, so it
would be nothing to go into,like the studios and stuff and
(25:19):
record back then and just shoparound material. I maybe I was
delusional at the time, but Ireally thought I could do it,
and I really did try to do it.So that's something I have no
regrets about. When people askme, like you just did, why'd you
leave the Navy? That's somethingbigger in mine, for myself, and
(25:40):
I can still do that now. So,
yeah, yeah, because when yousend me your bio, the write up,
I just have to read this alittle bit. Your social worker
by day, social media influencerby night. I like that. How do
you balance that? How do you dotell us how, how does the
average day of Blair ChanningRay actually go?
(26:01):
I wake up in the morning, I saya prayer of gratitude. I
meditate for 10 minutes. I do 40minutes of yoga, and I tell
myself, I'm going to have a goodday. I love that to start doing
that because, and it works,because you have to set the tone
(26:21):
for the day. And yeah, sothroughout the day, I'm helping
people on the vocational sidewith their careers, and mostly
veterans. And then on the otherside, I'm online. I don't
consider social media even apastime anymore. It's like, I
(26:43):
could do it in my sleep. Youknow, if someone sends me a DM,
it's like, okay, posting sure Ican get that schedule. Someone
asked me, I saw you at a dinner.How'd you just post schedule?
You missed the perfectopportunity. I can't tell you
all my tricks. I'm magic. That'swhy you like me,
(27:07):
yeah? And I like both sides saysocial work is different,
because, again, you're doing asocial thing. You're working
with people. So that's my forte.I
love that. I love that. Yeah. Sowhen you decided to make the run
at social media, what was itthat kind of just kind of
(27:27):
determined that that was a pathyou wanted to explore as well,
in addition to your day job,
I like connecting. I am alwayslooking to hear different
stories, not necessarily forfauda, but if I get some, that's
good too. Everyone has a story,and I just feel really good
(27:50):
about making an impact at theend of the day, if I've made an
impact, I'm even more thankfulfor the day I
love that Well, I can tell youfrom being a fan, you make the
impact in a big, big way. Somission accomplished for
sure. Thank you much.
You you mentioned it, and Ireally want to give you know the
(28:11):
proper space for thisconversation, this topic, but
mental health is important toyou. You've you've had, you
know, your own dealings with it.You are not shy about why it's
important to you and why peopleneed to be more forthright about
coming to talk, because thereare resources and opportunities
to deal with some of thesethings that maybe people are
(28:33):
dealing with in isolation orwith a certain amount of shame.
So what is it about thatmission, that approach, that is
important to you, and what doyou want to do
with it? For me, being anadvocate for bipolar disorder is
beneficial because it's one ofthose things that, um, it
(28:57):
frequently gets misdiagnosed.For a long time, I was diagnosed
with the only anxiety anddepression, and so for like,
five to six years, I just hadthese bouts of depression and
couldn't figure out what wasgoing on in the other times when
I wasn't depressed, but alsowasn't really in the moment, not
(29:18):
in a good head space. So I spokewith the provider, who asked me
a litany of questions, somequestionnaire I remember, and
the next thing I know, she goes,Oh yeah, you're bipolar. And it
just it was such a relief. Ifelt like the clouds had open,
(29:40):
the sun was coming out. But Imean, when you know something's
wrong with you and no one'ssaying anything, it's like, no,
there's got to be something. SoI had an answer to my question,
and from there, I wondered, howmany other people are out there
struggling with bipolardisorder, and mostly the um. Um,
the depression. People think thedepression gets you to a point
(30:03):
where it's debilitating. Itdoes, but the mania is also just
as debilitating. You don't go tosleep with insomnia. You maybe
you want to interact with peopletoo much, reckless behavior,
spending habits that are out ofcontrol, you know, so the more I
(30:26):
can talk about those things andkeep people aware. Then again,
I'm making an impact. I'm doingmy part. I just want to leave
this one knowing I've made adifference in someone's life.
Well, I can tell you, missionaccomplished. You made a
difference in my life. You, byextension, made a difference in
someone who I shared yourprofile with that when I was at
(30:47):
a conference speaking in LasVegas a couple of weeks ago that
I'm not even sure how theconversation came up, but they
were, they were asking mesomething about a video they had
seen on my Instagram, and then Iguess they follow my comments
and they had seen your profile,and they're like, oh, you know,
what can you tell me about thisperson? I said, Well, I'm gonna
get to know her a lot more,because I'm gonna be
(31:08):
interviewing her. But the funnything about it that I not funny,
haha. But, you know, coincidencekind of funny was that I
mentioned to her. I said, youknow, thing I really respect and
admire about what players do.And is, when you look at people
from the outside, you think theygot it all figured out. Like,
you know, here's this womanthat's like, Vogue model,
(31:29):
pretty. She's got thepersonality that never ends.
She's got this great like thing,right? This public perception.
And yet, then you have thehonesty about why this
particular focus is important toyou, and why we need to be more
open to conversation about it. Iknow it's the thing a lot of
(31:50):
people are like, Oh, we shouldall be talking about it. But I
actually reminded this lady. Isaid it's just a reminder that,
you know, when we see people andsee certain things, it's a
reminder that there is you don'tsee everything, and there's
people that are dealing withstruggles day in and day out.
And why that made me that whatyou just said made that come up
(32:10):
in my heart was because you youwant to bring that out from the
shadows. You want to help peopleknow that you're not alone and
you're not you're the only onedealing with this, and that you
are living your life as anexample, someone that can, you
know, battle through it in and,you know, continue to fight
another day. And I think that'sjust so inspirational.
(32:32):
Yeah, because you can, yeah, youcan, yep, well,
and that's, that's what I'msaying. I think I you, I put you
up on a pedestal, someone thatjust is proof of an example of
someone that can continue to notgive up and will continue to
show up and not just say, well,this is my situation or my
(32:52):
affliction, what I'm dealingwith. And like, woe is me, but
like, no, wow is me, and this iswhat you can do to get through
it. And I think you do atremendous job of that.
Thank you, Steve, that reallymeans conceived so doing
speeches, I talked about aperiod in time where I had a
(33:12):
bout with major depressivedisorder and I suffer from
suicide adulation, and it wasvery scary for me, because in my
mind, you know, you think Idon't want to be here anymore. I
don't want to deal with this.And it wasn't so much that I
(33:34):
wanted to die. I wanted myproblems to die, and coming back
to myself, getting grounded inmy own spirituality, my belief
in me, and I was able to find away out. And I know some people
who never do, or they succumb tothat influence, and then you
(33:59):
have families around. I thinkthe biggest thing too, is that I
knew that as long as I wasbreathing, there was an
opportunity for change. So I'mtoday, and I like talking about
that, because not like I said,not all of us make it to see the
(34:22):
next day. Yeah,
yeah, oh, that's so powerful.And yes, you absolutely need TED
Talk for that. You need to getthat message out. So we are,
we're gonna figure that. We'regonna figure that out.
Thank you so much.
So let me ask you, like, I knowyou said you like enjoy writing.
(34:43):
Are you writing for purpose? Areyou writing for fiction? You
know, like you like tellingstories that make up in your own
head. What? Where's the areathat you like to spend the most
time when you're actually likein the flow of writing?
Probably purpose, because I doso much research. Yeah, I see
from. You to go down a rabbithole on Google, start looking at
(35:04):
anxiety. Next thing you know,you're doing anxiety and
relationships. Then you're doingrelationships and attachment
theories. And yeah, it can godown any tangent. And
occasionally I do pivot tofiction. Everyone has a creative
writing streak in them, I thinkso. There's this character I
(35:24):
like called Abigail, not thedoll, but just name of a
character named Abigail. Andshe's, um, she's a newspaper
journalist from the 80s, andshe's trying to get started with
her own ad company. And as youknow, at that time, in the 80s,
(35:44):
a black woman with an ad companythat was not, not gonna happen.
Yeah, I've been piecing thattogether for years, but maybe
one day. Oh,
that's awesome. I love that.
So one of the one of my guestsfrom a couple years back, but
she's a good friend of mine.She's a professor at the
University of Oklahoma. She is afiction writer, and she's had
(36:06):
several of her books selfpublished, all of them, I think,
and she's had a couple of themactually opted by a Hallmark and
lifetime. So she she might be agood connection for you just to
talk. She loves talking writing,and she loves helping other
women. Publication
is so hard, though they say it
is actually, but, I mean,there's, there's multiple ways
(36:29):
to go about it, right? But thethe vast majority of like,
especially fiction writers, theydon't make a lot of money
because, you know, a the bookprice is very low anyway, so
their percentage of what theydo, and then, if you go through
an agent, and then you gothrough a publisher, and then
you're doing all this stuff. Thewhen I, when I produced my book,
had a really famous author thatwas kind of one of my all time
(36:50):
business heroes, and I wasfortunate enough to meet him
during my writing process, andit was actually trying to get
signed by an agent and attractthe attention of a publisher.
And he's like, dude, if I wasstarting at your age, I would
never do anything but selfpublish, you know? And I'm like,
Oh, really. And he's like, Yeah,give me your address. I'm going
to send you some stuff. And Ihad no idea what he was going to
(37:11):
send me, but I asked him, beforeour time was up, I said, Well,
I'm curious why? Because you'relike, with one of the best
publishers out there. And hesaid, I don't know my content. I
do it. I do all the work. And hesaid, and I do get paid some
nice rain, some, you know, I'mpaid handsomely for my, you
know, signing bonuses. And, youknow, there's, I've made it so
I've got some financial securitybuilt into my deal. But he's
(37:35):
like, I'm still doing all thework, and I do it for, you know,
a third of what I should begetting paid, and then I have to
ask permission of the publisherto go and do speeches or to do
workshops or trainings on myconcepts, which I put in their
book, right? And I'm like, wow,I was just like, I was such a,
you know, just didn't know I wasimmature in the space. And he
(37:58):
said, No, if you, if you do theself publishing. Not only do you
control everything, you alsoabsorb those costs, but it's not
as expensive as you think. Butthen you own it, and you don't
ever have to go through somebodyelse in order to, like, sell it.
If it's a screenplay or opt itfor, you know, a series or or
you can negotiate the deals thatmake the most sense to you. And
I would tell you, I mean, mythird edition of my book, I need
(38:20):
to write another book. But youknow, when it's not broke, why
fix it? But it's this thing hasmade more money than I ever
anticipated from a little sideproject. And so, Third Edition,
yeah, third edition of my book,yeah. Um. But my friend
Kimberly, she like, seems toproduce these kind of romance
novels that come out like, seemlike, every 12 to 18 months. But
(38:42):
she has a rhythm. She has aprocess. She's got a couple of
characters that like yours, thatshe's now followed through
multiple books, and then she'sgot this fan base, and she's
done it all pretty much on herown. And because of that, she
gets preparations. Yeah. So,yeah. So you didn't know I was,
like, going to be able to hookyou up, like, you know, cool
(39:03):
authors and Ted people. It'srippling. Is rippling. That's
what
it is. It ripples on, rippleson, hey, can I get a t shirt? I
was going to ask you about thatAbsolutely.
Yep, yeah. What color do youwant? This is orange, but I can
get you oranges. Orange is good.All right, cool, cool. Um, so,
(39:25):
so you're working on that kindof on the side, and then, for
purpose, are you working asidefrom this book? Are you working
on any other projects from awriting perspective? No,
I think that's keeping me busy,and it's only because I'm
starting to go out more, andeventually I'd like to get more
involved with the community.Yeah, you know, gonna make it
(39:47):
home here? Um, so, yeah, that'sabout it, and that blog is gonna
keep me busy. I think, I thinkso you got to put content up
there, and you gotta turn it outin order to get readers. And
it's just a lot of work, but Iknow you're helping me, so,
yeah, well, I'm gonna promotethe hell out of you, for sure,
because, I mean, so I'm curious,why did you pick medium versus,
(40:10):
like any of the other platformsout there, medium
works for me, because I actuallythink medium is a cool place for
writers, like some very hipwriters, and I think of it as,
like, the alt version. If we hadan MSNBC for blogs, it would be
(40:33):
medium, yeah. It's just veryprogressive. It's what
Huffington Post used to be,yeah, yeah, to me, yep, that's
my algorithm anyway. Yeah,
I love that. So when you're notdoing the social work by day and
you're not being a social mediainfluencer by night and you're
(40:53):
writing in between, what do youdo with the rest of your free
time?
I'm doing karaoke androllerblading and making
playlists.
I was going to ask you about the
playlist. OK, and my playlisthelped me with my karaoke,
that's
all. So what? What's yourfavorite song to sing in
(41:14):
karaoke?
Oh, what's love got to do withit? By Tina Turner, yeah, she
set it all up for me. It wasTina Turner. When I was a little
girl, I was like, Oh, my God, sothat's what I'm going to look
like when I get older. Yeah, notlike my grandma's friend down
the street. But
(41:39):
it's sad. Tina was probably 10years older than her too, right?
Just say it. That's
awesome. So do you karaoke veryoften?
I do about, um, once a week oronce every two weeks, dang
often. That's awesome. And Idon't have to go with the group
either, but if I have a group,I'll get
(42:02):
that's cool. That's cool. So androllerblading.
I love rollerblading ever sinceI was a kid. You grew up in 80s.
You know what a roller derby is.I never grew out of it.
So you're just rollerblading,but you're not doing the roller
derby yet. And goodbye yourpassion in wrestling right
(42:25):
there.
Let's discuss something, Stevesee at this advanced stage,
there's no way, there's no wayI'm going on anywhere
you can break a hip that way.
(42:45):
I like being mobile. Yeah, Ilike it, right? Yeah.
They always say, you know, thatwalking is overrated. I don't
think so. That's what my wifetells me, because I still play
on two soccer teams, and I wassoccer coach for a long time,
and I get out there and I comehome, I'm like, beat up, like
(43:06):
I'm the old guy
for soccer team. It's always at
night, Wednesday or Fridaynights, you know, those are my
mental, mental release nights.Oh,
wow, that's crazy softwarecompany podcast to soccer
squads. Oh, and he's marriedtoo. So your wife's like, my
(43:29):
time, here my time. Or
like, hey, go. I need my time.
Forgot about that. She's like,Yeah, I've known you way too
long. Go ahead, play soccer,
just don't call me when you hurtsomething, because I'm not
getting out of bed to go get youat the ER,
yeah. That's just the concern wehave to worry about. Yeah.
(43:55):
The older you get the Yeah,injury pain hurts. It turns out
you i shatter my right afterCOVID, like November 21 I
shattered my shoulder playingsoccer, and I thought, I
thought, Okay, first of all, I'mnot a keeper. I shouldn't be
(44:17):
hurting my shoulder. But I, I I,when they went in, they had
shattered the whole backside ofit. So I have, like, a metal
bar. I'm like, part Iron Mannow, because it just, like, goes
from here to here. No, somehowit doesn't ding. I don't know
they and I haven't been wantedor anything. So I'm like, Hey,
that must give me some, like,super new, you know, special,
(44:41):
you know,
million dollar man version,yeah, yeah, well,
that was my favorite seriesgrowing up in the 70s. So we
have the technology we canrebuild him. Doesn't make him
any smarter, but we'll rebuildhim. Sasquatch,
Bigfoot. Oh, I loved it everytime Bigfoot was on there, yeah,
(45:05):
yeah, the
Bigfoot. And it was Steve Austinwith Jamie summers The Bionic
Woman, and they had to take him
on, yeah. Oh, wait a minute, Ithought that was Lindsay Wagner.
Well, the actress is but JamieSummers was the bionic, Oh,
okay. Was the, yeah, SteveAustin was, like, the coolest
name ever. So I was, like, whenI moved awesome, like Steve
(45:28):
Austin, I mean, I still have theaction figure somewhere. I gotta
find you, because that'sawesome.
This is my Steve Austin was sopopular with my aunt, I think
she had like, two posters up,and then he came out with the
fall guy or so weird obsession,yeah, Tim and fair.
(45:51):
Oh yeah,
I know too much about her peoplemagazines. My aunt rare people.
So it's like, oh, okay, okay,okay, yeah,
my mom did too. That's the onlyway I got any social here. That
was for these people are like,What the hell are you guys
talking about? It's like, thiswas social before there was
social. That's where you got thenews every week. Like, who's
(46:12):
dating? Who? Who broke up with,who not end up with? Bionic Man.
I don't know. It just happened.
Crazy, crazy. That's awesome.
I Well, listen, I could talk toyou all day. I had such deep
affection for you and whatyou're doing and the impact
you're making to the world. Oneof the things I like to do with
(46:32):
this show, however, is, althoughpeople will see that you got
personality for days, they don'tprobably need to see any. You
know, they don't need proof ofthat. But I always like to ask
some ripple connection.Questions, just to give people a
different sense of who my guestis. Are you okay with that? Oh,
wow. Okay. They're fun to ask,fun to answer. So there are no
gotchas here. But what did theseven year old version of Blair
(46:56):
want to be when she grew up?
Oh, an entertainer in
it, and in what capacity,
singing, come on, yeah,
I didn't want to assume, I mean,you, you were seven, I don't
know you're you're followingSasquatch on television. So, I
mean, you could have been anactor, right? Tina Turner,
(47:19):
that's true. Yeah, you're right.You did say that was a clue for
sure. What about you know, Imean, you only turned 26 once,
so you're just now, probablyjust 26 What do you want to be
now when you grow up?
Impactful? I love that. I lovethat.
What's the best thing you couldhear someone that you've worked
(47:42):
with through your social worksay about you as a person,
that I was empathetic and kind,and they're present.
I love that. I love that. What
if they were to make a movieabout Blair's life, what would
(48:05):
the title be
to the woman I was? Oh,
I love that.
Yeah, it's an essay I'm workingon. And I that was an easy one
for me, because I that
if you if you weren't singingand you weren't writing and you
(48:26):
weren't doing the Social Workthing, what would you be doing?
I'd probably be somewheresipping on a pina colada. Nah.
Seriously, for fun, I know, orfor work,
either one. Yeah, what would you
(48:48):
one of my favorite hobbies iscollecting magazines, really
fashion magazines. I still havemagazines from like 1991
No kidding,
so that's one of my things. Somepeople like stamps. I like
fashion magazines.
Yours is infinitely moreinteresting than stamps. Let me
(49:11):
tell you,
Hey, have you seen CindyCrawford from 1991
nice.
I know there. You could put thaton eBay right now, and probably,
you know, make a house paymentwith it. You know, the
most I've seen, I think it wasan L or vote cover, and that was
(49:33):
from 89 it wasn't worth morethan, like, 30
so, so you're not collecting foryour future fortune. You're not
sitting you're not sitting onthe goldmine of opportunity.
I just say one day somebody'sgonna go through my stuff and be
like she was a weird one. Yeah,quirky is, yeah. Quirky.
(50:01):
Is that your goal?
Somebody have that you'll belooking down be like I knew, I
knew it.
If I get caught, I get caught,it's okay. I
mean, you just ratted yourselfout so you're kind of caught.
Anyways,
true. But how do you know Idon't have this up on my profile
(50:22):
somewhere?
Steve, this is true. That's verytrue. That's very true. I
thought about it. Well, sinceyou're writing a book about
social media and the psychologyof social media, what is it
about that topic that fascinatesyou?
Besides the characters, zanycharacters, just a different
(50:46):
topics. It's a microcosm, ofcourse, of the world, and it's
right there at our fingertips.And I think the way that we
interact with people says a lotabout ourselves.
Yeah, yep, I love that. What doyou think your interaction says
about you?
My interaction says that I'mquirky, definitely funny, at
(51:10):
least I think I'm funny. Yeah,
you're definitely
and chatty.
Chatty. I love that. Chatty.Yeah, that's
good. I like that. If you couldgive one piece of advice to a
woman of color that's cominginto her career and trying to
(51:30):
find her way in the world, whatwould it
be? Be yourself, be observantand always look for innovative
ways to do things differently.It's helped me a lot. But the
last thing I'll say, and themost important thing, is always
say, thank you.
(51:50):
I love that. I love that. That'sfantastic. If you were to
potentially think back to whohad a direct influence in
helping you become the awesomeperson you are today. Who would
you give that credit to, and why
that credit solely goes to mydad for his presence in my life
(52:14):
and for helping me accept theperson that I am. Yeah, yeah,
when your parent knows him andthey can help you, like, ground
yourself, that's your big deal.
Yeah, that's great. No doubthe's looking down on you and
very, very proud of the personyou've become. And, yeah, that's
(52:35):
awesome. Yeah, I love that. Lovethat. So last couple of
questions. If people want to getin touch with you or follow you
on social, what's the best waythat you'd like them to do that
you want to go to your website?Do you have a handle?
(52:55):
I have the I writer girl handle,and you know, it's so original
that people have added numbersand letters to the end, but no
one can get I write
a girl. They're not the original
Apple should pay me. I agree.But seriously, probably threads
(53:19):
and again, the user handle. Iwrite a girl is throughout
social media, blue sky medium,Twitter, X threads, Instagram,
all that.
Well, I gotta ask you, what'syour favorite social platform of
all of them?
Right now, I'm really lovingthreads, really, and I think
(53:40):
because it's wordy, and they'reactually some insightful
conversations, as well as bluesky, I'm all about, you know,
the interaction conversations.
That's awesome. I love that.Well, last two questions, when
you hear the words The RippleEffect, what does that conjure
up in your mind? How does thatwhat's your reaction to those
words? When
(54:01):
I hear The Ripple Effect, Ithink immediately of water,
ripples in the water, but, um,also like actions, reverb,
reverberating.
Yeah, that's good. I love that.It's great definition.
Um, how'd you come up with that?By the way,
great question. I saw sold acompany in 2004 and started to
(54:25):
write a book for I thought wasgoing to be for salespeople,
because I saw so many badsalespeople out there that
didn't understand what it tookto make a career in sales that
it wasn't about transaction.It's about relationships, right?
And if you build a relationshipwith a client, you take care of
them, you do what you say you'regoing to do. They have a
tendency to tell other peoplethat are of similar stature,
(54:46):
which brings more business andopportunity your way, so you
don't have to work as hard. AndI'm all about not working hard
if I can avoid it.
Not true, my wife, my wife wouldbe like liar. You are a liar.
But anyway,
but I. I started off there, andthen I got caught, like writer's
block, and the guy that wasworking with at the time said,
(55:06):
Well, what made you a goodentrepreneur? Because I had sold
this company. And day two ofselling the company on two of my
existing clients said, Hey, cometeach us about customer service
and leadership and businessdevelopment. I'm like me, like,
I don't do anything. I'm anobody, but they, they asked me
to come and do a talk, and thenthey paid me money, like I
didn't even ask for money, andthey gave me money. It was like,
(55:27):
damn, this. What is this? Thisis great. And, and I said, Well,
you know, it's kind of like, youknow, the Ripple Effect you cast
that stone, it creates thatsplash that you don't know how
deep your action goes, but onething is inevitable, and it's
science, a Ripple ripples out,but then it always ripples back
to where the point of origin,right? So when you create a
(55:48):
positive ripple for someone,whether you pay them a
compliment, you make them smile,you make them feel seen. You
give them a hug when they'rehaving a rough day, you
acknowledge whatever the issueor challenge might be, but you
don't like bash them for it. YouYou do something to show them
that you are there, and you seethem as another person. And
(56:10):
that's true for humaninteractions. Or it could just
be you walking across theparking lot and picking up that
Coke, you know, can that's nowbeing crushed a dozen times and
throwing it in the trash canright contribution back to my
world. But every action that wehave has, in some form or
fashion a way of returning backto us, and it often happens in
ways that we don't expect.
(56:30):
So that's "Ripple On." That'sRipple. Yep, yeah.
And so "Ripple On" was sort of astupid way to look at this, but
when I first brought out mybook, I thought, you know, I
would sell maybe a couple 100copies of my book, and my dad
would buy the rest of theinventory, and I'd be done, you
know, from there. But I had abook signing and had people I
hadn't even seen or invited. Iwas like, What the hell, the
(56:52):
hell are these people even know,it's free booze and food, but
like, it was like the dinnerbell for people I hadn't even
talked to in years. And thenpeople came through the kind of
the receiving line, and I wassigning the books, and as I got
my first book, the gal that washelping me, she said, Well, you
need, you need a signature,like, you need something like,
other than your name, you need amoniker of some sort. I'm like,
(57:14):
I don't shit. I don't know whatit should be. And I was like,
oh, "Ripple On." Like, okay, andI'll just Ripple On. I thought
that's for tonight, that I'llnever stick, and here it is 16
years later. It was prettyawesome. But what was amazing to
me was how many people camethrough for this little, tiny
book at the time, and it's nowexpanded and grown to the third
(57:36):
edition. But third edition,yeah, Third Edition. I wrote
during COVID, because I wasn'tsure at the time if we would be
if that was going to be our onlypandemic. And what I saw was,
see, I'm naturally introvertedand shy. People are not my jam.
And I told you in my email, Iwas nervous to even record with
(57:56):
you, because you're a rock star.But the funny thing is, is
during COVID, I saw people whothe extroverts who were
accustomed to being aroundpeople really climbing the
walls, and even my introvertedpeople who hate people, were
like, I need some freakingpeople in my life. And so we
started looking at, okay, well,how are people using social
media tools? At the time, wewanted to expand the stories,
(58:20):
because it had been, you know,at that point, it had been 11
years since I brought out thefirst edition. The second
edition had done well. But everytime I speak, every time someone
finds the book, somebody ends upcoming back with a story of how,
you know, you would havethought, you know, if I gone
down one path, you know, lifewould have been one way, but I
went down the other path, andlife turned out so much better
than I expected. And thoselittle things, those little act,
(58:43):
you know, those little actionsthat happen in our lives and our
careers, those are all, what Ibelieve is Ripples, right? So we
expanded those stories, and thenthe book sold, you know, really,
really well post pandemic,mainly because people were
bored, or maybe they didn't haveheat and they needed firewood.
Or, you know, kindling,
a third edition of a book, yeah,
(59:03):
yeah. It's, it's been a it'sbeen The Little Engine That
Could. I never expected it to beas well received as as it has
been. But, you know, it's atextbook for three major
universities. I've got people asfar as Australia, New Zealand
that have reached out to me,like, Hey, I got this book. I
love it. Love your take on it.But what is advanced beyond the
(59:27):
book is like, actually, theRipple Image. The book was a
process, and it was told from anentrepreneur's perspective, and
it wasn't just sales. It was,hey, how do you grow a business?
How do you grow a brand? How doyou grow a reputation? But where
it is actually evolved to now isit's, it's a movement, it's a
community. It's people like methat want to get together and
want to actually add value andcontribute to other people's
(59:49):
lives. And we don't keep score,we don't, don't expect payback,
I don't expect, you know, quidpro quo. If it happens, it
happens. But my belief is thatyou create enough positive
actions out there in the world.Old, it'll take care of you, you
know, the you know, you call itkarma. You could call it ripple.
You could call it the butterflyeffect. You could call it, you
know, pay it forward, whateverit is. But there's not enough of
(01:00:11):
us out there trying to do it onthe on the regular, right, on
the daily basis. And so, allright, my intent with this book
is basically to change people'sperspectives, and especially now
when the vast majority of us canonly communicate through these
devices, right? You know, we'reno good with human to human
interaction. We need to teachpeople to get better at that.
And you and I are kind of proofof that. We didn't know each
(01:00:33):
other beforehand, but I kind offelt like we were friends. You
were super great to work with toget this scheduled, but at the
end of the day, you're exactlyas advertised, and I knew you
would be and I knew you'd beeven more awesome, because you
just see these things in people,and you just know that they're
gifts that got placed in yourpath for a reason. And if you
miss that, that's on you, right?And I think the vast majority of
(01:00:55):
us miss it, because we're socaught up in our own our own
nonsense, so trying to, youknow, impart the wisdom, to get
people to understand what theconcept is and get it out there.
Well, thank you for providingthat sage wisdom.
Oh, my God, I might need you toI may have to clip just that
part and actually show that tomy wife, like somebody, somebody
(01:01:16):
gets me
wisdom. I take that back and Ihave that "Let's Ripple!!!" in yellow.
yeah, I can, I can work on that.I can work on that. I don't know
if I have yellow, to be honestwith you, I have blue, a black,
I have red, I have
blue. You have what? I'll takeblack. Take
black. All right, I'll get it toyou so you'll, you'll email me
(01:01:39):
your address. I'll ripple thatonto you. How about that?
That works for me. My lastquestion is, what? Oh,
yeah. One last question for youis, what is a Ripple I could be
looking to create for you? WhatRipples could I create for you?
Ripples you could create for mewould probably most likely be
(01:02:02):
opportunities to speak more.Okay,
so I already have an idea there.We'll we'll connect offline
about that, but I definitelyhave a
yeah, you move fast.
I'm like a jack rabbit on ablind date.
Oh, my God. Why am I takingBruce Almighty when hes like, oh,
(01:02:30):
oh, my God. I haven't thoughtabout that movie in like
forever.
Yes, okay, that's
awesome. Well, I will, I willdefinitely keep an eye open for
opportunities to get you onstage and both speaking and
maybe singing. Who knows,
I'm always available for both.Just so, yeah,
awesome. Well, I just have tosay, this has been an absolute
(01:02:53):
blast, and I am so grateful thatyou took the time to do this. I
know we had some back and forthon the schedule, because you're
a world traveler and in demandand all that. And I appreciate
your patience as I dealt withsome stuff with my dad. But I'm
really, really grateful for yourfriendship, and so grateful to
know you, and I'm a huge fan andhappy to help and support you
(01:03:14):
any way I can.
Likewise, and thank you, and Ihope things get better with your dad.
I appreciate it. Yeah, it's,it's, it's interesting times.
Let's put it that way so youknow for sure. But guys, we'll
be back again with anotherepisode of The Ripple Effect
Podcast. But until then, Blair,Ripple On!!!
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