January 23, 2024 • 42 mins
Imagine navigating the complexities of estate planning, sandwiched between caring for both your parents and children, while also addressing the nuanced needs of Latino families. That's the reality many face, and it's the heart of our discussion with Ivette Kuyateh from Kuyateh Law Group. Ivette, who has gracefully transitioned from prosecutor to estate planner, brings a wealth of insight into empowering families through informed legal decision-making. On our show, she shares her incredible personal narrative, touching on her formative years in Mexico and California, her legal journey, and her Christian faith, which underscores her advocacy for victims and families alike.
Ivette's expertise shines a light on the cultural considerations essential in estate planning within Latino communities. She spotlights the challenges adult daughters often face as primary caregivers, balancing the demands of their careers with the responsibilities of supporting multiple generations. Through this lens, we discuss how safeguarding assets like the family home can be pivotal, and how thoughtful asset distribution can prevent familial strife. It's a candid exploration of the societal pressures and personal sacrifices women make as they assume the mantle of caregivers and the transformative power of legal foresight in these dynamics.
Wrapping up, we delve into the broad spectrum of aging population needs, from financial services to retirement planning. Ivette dissects the looming wealth transfer with baby boomer retirements and the unique implications for the Latino community. Moreover, her passion project, Te La Group, stands as a beacon of success against typical business odds, providing a model for resilience and strategic planning. As we conclude, Ivette extends a generous offer to our listeners: a free copy of her book, brimming with guidance and inspiration—a testament to the power of personal journeys to illuminate professional paths and leave an indelible impact on others' lives.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ron Greenwald (00:00):
Welcome in.
This is Ron Greenwald, the RonGreenwald Show.
This podcast is a professionalform for all of those that
dedicate themselves to workingwith older adults to listen to
and hear and understand storiesof great value, insight and
support for as we age.
(00:22):
And it's really the mission ofRon Greenwald the podcast to
help guide older adults to makeinformed and intelligent and
productive decision making sothat, first of all, their family
always has Thanksgivingtogether and they understand
that planning is really going torelieve them of anxiety, so
(00:43):
they know what the future lookslike it's not a straight shot to
the, you know and so that lastthird of life is through
planning and execution andinformation that we really have
an incredible journey.
So with that, I am honored andprivileged to introduce you to
Ivette Kuyateh.
(01:05):
Did I say that?
Okay, Close enough, Closeenough.
Cuyete aw Group and I just arehonored to have you here today.
Your background is simplyinspiring, awe-inspiring for
somebody to go onto your websiteand look at your past and what
(01:27):
you're doing today and reallyhow you are here to really be an
advocate and really be a voicefor people that don't have the
voice.
I love what you havetrademarked.
Kingdoms Hero.
Lawyer in Heels Kingdoms Hero.
Lawyer in Heels.
That is worth repeating.
(01:47):
So, Yvette, I'm going to allowyou to take it from here and
introduce yourself to thelistening audience.
Ivette Kuyateh (01:54):
Thank you, Ron.
Thank you so much.
Now I got a buy you lunch.
That was such an awesomeintroduction.
Ron Greenwald (02:00):
Oh really, I just I spent last night just
rereading this.
It's so inspiring.
Ivette Kuyateh (02:05):
Thank you, I appreciate you having me on.
Yeah, I, like you, mentionedKingdoms Hero Lawyer in Heels,
and so what that stands for isKingdoms.
I'm a Christian lawyer thatgoes before everything I do.
I always say God is my CEO.
She-row Lawyer in Heels.
(02:26):
I love Heels that right now Ibroke my toe, so you know we're
doing platform heels today.
But what I do, ron, I helpfamilies, and I'm able to do
that in a way where we get intosome really awesome planning
when we'll talk about today anda lot of my clients are estate
(02:47):
planning clients, as you areaware of, and we go through a
lot of the planning of what thatwill actually look like, and I
also have a lot of.
My other side of my practice ishelping victims of crime.
I'm a former prosecutor and soI really focus on empowering
those victims, on rebuildingtheir lives, and so all of that.
(03:09):
To say, money is at the centerof all of it.
Money gives you choices and youhave choices when you have
money to plan with and for, andso we'll get into that.
But, in a nutshell, that's whatI do.
Ron Greenwald (03:24):
Well, let's go back in time a little bit.
So you grew up where?
Ivette Kuyateh (03:30):
I grew up in Mexico, okay, in Guanajuato, up
until I was about seven or eight, and then went to California,
up in Northern California, andgrow up there.
Ron Greenwald (03:42):
And undergraduate .
Ivette Kuyateh (03:44):
UC Davis.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, uc Davis I lovethat campus.
Ron Greenwald (03:49):
My stepdaughter went to UC Davis and she didn't
take wine classes and that'swine classes, but she's got a
fabulous degree and it's afantastic school.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:00):
So you go from there to I went from there to
hitting the workforce.
I was a social worker In myprevious life and I worked for
Child Protective Services.
I was a court investigator.
Ron Greenwald (04:13):
This is all in California, all in.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:14):
California.
Yeah, and then decided it wastime for law school, and that's
what brought me out here to SanDiego originally.
Ron Greenwald (04:23):
So you went to law school here and then pack up
to go to Virginia.
I'm trying to yeah, not rightaway yeah.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:33):
We moved back up to Northern California.
I did some civil litigationwork for some firms up there and
then met my now wonderfulhusband, who was living in
Virginia.
Ron Greenwald (04:47):
Right, there's always a boy in this, right,
well, I mean the wife hashashtag girl, mom and mentor to
others.
I just, I mean, just, it's veryinspirational, your website,
thank you.
So you go to Virginia and youbecome a prosecuting attorney
Correct, okay, for themunicipality in Virginia.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:09):
Yeah For the Commonwealth of Virginia and
prosecuted domestic violence andsexual assault, crimes towards
the ins and juvenile crimes, butdid that for a little while.
That's initially what I set outto do during law school.
Ron Greenwald (05:23):
Is to be prosecuted, like elder abuse and
that type of crime againstcitizens.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:30):
Yeah, all crimes against victims.
Ron Greenwald (05:32):
And then okay, so you do that for how many years?
Ivette Kuyateh (05:37):
That was out there for a couple years and
then we decided that it was timeto come back to California, and
so we were back.
We were back to San Diegoshortly after that opened up
Cuyate law group.
Ron Greenwald (05:51):
And your is your husband an attorney.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:53):
He is not.
Thank God no.
Ron Greenwald (05:58):
So you open up the, you open up the law group
in in how long ago?
Ivette Kuyateh (06:02):
Right before the pandemic actually.
So it was Martin Luther KingDay a little bit before before
the pen and Martin Luther KingJr Day of 2019, actually, and so
and when you came, when youpick up and leave Virginia I've
seen your husband has you.
Ron Greenwald (06:23):
You don't have it and you're going to set up a
whole.
You're going to put out theshingle and set up a new
practice.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:27):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (06:28):
Your husband has a job, I assume in some capacity
.
Yeah, here, no, no, not reallyno no, my husband's also an
entrepreneur.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:36):
Oh yeah, he's an independent securities license
financial advisor.
Oh so he had the freedom andthe clientele to literally work
from everywhere.
Ron Greenwald (06:46):
Gotcha.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:47):
That that that was a blessing, and initially I
didn't open up my practice rightaway.
I actually went to work foranother civil litigation firm
and then quickly decided it'stime.
Ron Greenwald (07:00):
And did something happen to trigger I want to go
and do estate planning work andall the other things that you do
.
I mean what?
What triggered that change?
Ivette Kuyateh (07:10):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (07:10):
Was therea tipping point?
Ivette Kuyateh (07:12):
Yeah, no, I actually fell into the actual
practice of it.
My husband's clients neededestate plans and I started
dabbling and really quicklydecided this is really rewarding
work and this found my niche init, basically because I
(07:34):
realized in my own familyexperience wow, you know, we, if
we really really had solidestate planning in my personal
family experience this the kindof stuff we're still living
generations in wouldn't havehappened.
So just, I just knew the valueof it, but I didn't realize
(07:55):
really how rewarding it was todo it.
Ron Greenwald (07:58):
So again, you saw the human side of the law.
I mean, well, I mean you'reprosecuting bad guys, so that to
me is that's pretty intense,that had to be pretty intense,
and what kakudos for you for fordoing that.
So now, in terms of your, theshare of your practice, you have
a book.
Tell us a little bit about that.
Ivette Kuyateh (08:20):
Right, so I do have any book this one, however.
So this is called how MoneyWorks Stopping a Sucker.
Okay, and it's written by TomMatthews and Steve Siebold, and
it's not my personal book.
I wrote, but it is afoundational book that I use to
teach my clients about money andit's number one right now book
(08:46):
on financial literacy.
I brought you a book.
Ron Greenwald (08:49):
Thank you.
Ivette Kuyateh (08:50):
I brought you a book.
Thank, you.
And your team too, and I reallythink that money, in my
experience, is the foundation ofour choices.
That we have.
It controls everything.
We're seeing it nowadays, rightFrom what groceries you buy,
(09:11):
where you get to live, rightwhen you get to plan, and so, no
matter what my clients arewalking in through the door with
, when they know about theirmoney and they have some sort of
autonomy on how money actuallyworks or isn't working for them,
it's powerful to be transformedwith that knowledge, so I use
(09:32):
it across the board.
Ron Greenwald (09:34):
Is that your intro?
I mean, when the client comesin, is that something that's
kind of laid out on the table?
I mean, let's talk about whereyou're at with this.
Ivette Kuyateh (09:42):
Yeah, no, no, not, not.
I wouldn't say not at theinception.
It's more of a gradual, I wouldsay, process.
Some people come in and theyare ready to talk about all of
their money.
But money is a taboo topic,right.
So some people aren't ready totalk about that kind of stuff.
(10:05):
But we get into it very quickly.
As far as you know what you'refighting about, where your life
circumstances are, what planningdo you have?
And for estate planning clientsparticularly, it does come in
when we're going through whatare your plans?
Right?
Where are you going to be downthe road?
Ron Greenwald (10:24):
I'm interested in terms of you said you helping
rebuild people's lives that arevictims of some type of assault
or abuse.
So that's part of your estateplanning practice or is that a
whole, separate part of the lawgroup?
Ivette Kuyateh (10:40):
It goes hand in hand, for sure, but I'll give
you the way of how I use it.
So, as a prosecutor and doingthe work in domestic violence
and victims' crimes, we see timeand time again that victims in
(11:00):
99% of the cases this is anactual statistic financial abuse
is an abuse that theyexperience and so, whether it is
a victim human trafficking, adomestic violence victim, a
victim of elder care, you knowsituations, money, when their
money is controlled, theiroptions are controlled, and so
(11:23):
getting their psychology around,knowing the money and then
having the milestones that areawesome in there in this book
about what are the milestonesyou need to have, build for
yourself maybe some have it,maybe they don't gives them kind
of a roadmap of where they needto be, so a victim might leave
(11:44):
and not have anything, but theyknow, okay.
My roadmap is maybe building asecurity, you know, three months
emergency fund, Maybe, okay.
Next step is looking at my cashflow, my expenses, my debt.
Okay, Not everybody is at theasset management part, Not
(12:04):
everybody is at the I haveassets to put in a trust part.
So it really runs the gamutacross the board, right.
But for victims specifically,it gives them a roadmap.
Ron Greenwald (12:16):
So if someone's a , I mean this is very close to
home right now for me becausesomebody very I won't mention
names or anything like that butsomebody who I know very, very
well for a lot of years wasassaulted, brutally assaulted,
(12:37):
and I'm kind of finding out alittle.
I mean, she's not communicatingreally well with the outside
world, she's kind of you know,and so I'm just like, from your
standpoint, you have, you have.
I think you're back, you have us.
Well, you have the degree, andoriginally in your not care
(12:58):
psychology, so you really havethat ability to reach out and
touch people, to bring them outin their shell, and I think
planning is certainly as if theyhave the plan and they're going
to feel much more comfortablewith moving forward.
Ivette Kuyateh (13:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, can you imagine?
I mean, if you, we don't knowwhere to start something, it
feels overwhelming, you know.
But if you give them a roadmapof, hey, this is where you need
to go Now, those that bigmountain cut down into little
milestones is so much moreattainable.
Ron Greenwald (13:32):
Do you work with the district attorney's office
here in San Diego County to getpeople to come to you as to help
them put those plans in place?
Because I think that would be.
Is that something that hasactually happened?
Ivette Kuyateh (13:46):
So I actually work a lot with the Northern
North County Family JusticeCenter.
Ron Greenwald (13:53):
Okay, I do.
Ivette Kuyateh (13:53):
my firm is one of the providers.
We do a lot of pro bono workwhen it comes to financial abuse
and literacy.
We do a lot of talks in thecommunity and educate them on
that, and so, yeah, we'redefinitely connected in that.
Ron Greenwald (14:14):
Are you seeing, are you a lot of these people,
elders, I mean, are you seeing alot of that?
The elder abuse, the elderfinancial abuse?
Ivette Kuyateh (14:21):
Definitely, that is definitely a population.
But the Family Justice Centerfocuses more specifically with
domestic violence or sexualassault victims.
Ron Greenwald (14:33):
Wow.
Ivette Kuyateh (14:34):
Yeah, but yeah, they do awesome work and I've
been blessed to be able to traintheir people, and so I've done
a number of trainings to firstresponders and DAs that you know
they need to know whatfinancial abuse is.
Ron Greenwald (14:49):
Right.
Ivette Kuyateh (14:50):
Because, as a prosecutor we see time and time
again.
You know, victim calls 911,someone gets picked up, then
it's the hearing time.
Well, by the time you get tothe hearing time, they recant.
They don't want to testify.
They don't want their loved onein jail.
Why?
Because if he goes to jail,who's going to pay rent?
How am I going to do it on oneincome?
So there's a lot to the puzzlethan just show up to the hearing
(15:13):
and prosecute.
Ron Greenwald (15:16):
And when do you come into that loop or when are
you brought into that loop?
Ivette Kuyateh (15:22):
As far as the plant right now, more training
their people and the serviceproviders so they can recognize
right.
So my whole goal is can I getout there and educate the masses
on what are the red flags ofbeing financially abused?
(15:45):
What does it look like?
You know, what are some thingsthat I can look like, that I can
see that, so I don't normalizebehavior, so I can start paying
attention.
Ron Greenwald (15:56):
As I say, just it's interest.
I did just a full circle herebecause I was used to be very
involved with Paul Greenwood,who was our former deputy
district attorney here.
I don't know if that nameresonates.
He's been retired for a fewyears.
But financial elder abuse issomething in my world that I
(16:17):
have seen over and over and overagain.
It's usually a family member,it's not.
A lot of times it's the adultchild, the 50 year old son who's
taking a financial advantage ofmom.
It's just heartbreaking to seethat, and so I'm just fascinated
(16:39):
.
Women of influence and law 2023, on a reef in the San Diego
Business Journal.
You are really placed yourselfout there to really be
supportive, and that all comesback to again.
Your primary focus is estateplanning for the couples, for
individuals.
I mean, is it young familiesthat are coming in to see, is
(17:01):
that really your niche as youngfamilies, trying to set up that
initial estate plan?
Ivette Kuyateh (17:05):
Yeah, a lot of them are.
But I'll tell you, ron, myniche has really been the
families.
Specifically, most of the timeit's the elder daughter or
sister that are in the sandwichgeneration, right, and so you
know what I mean by that.
But for your listeners, theyaren't familiar right.
(17:28):
It's the adult daughter that haslittle kids or kids at home,
but also mom and dad or grandma,grandpa, that she's caring for.
So if you can imagine theburden, the trifecta right of
trying to care for two differentstages of life and at the same
(17:48):
time trying to get your ownstuff together, pay the bills,
let alone save for your ownretirement right, that's really
where my niche has been and Ican identify in that niche from
a variety of perspectives.
Ron Greenwald (18:04):
But Are you that niche?
Are you that person?
Ivette Kuyateh (18:08):
Not right now.
I can't say that I am, althoughour girls run the gamut of ages
right, but I'm not taking careof my own parents right now.
My parents are deceased.
Ron Greenwald (18:19):
Oh.
Ivette Kuyateh (18:20):
But I can definitely understand.
You know what that entails inthe Latino culture.
That is what we do, right, youknow that's just what we do.
Ron Greenwald (18:31):
And you are obviously your bilingual.
Give us that culture.
Do they embrace?
There's the culture I meanthey're intergenerational, for
sure.
Do they embrace planning interms of the trust and all that,
like I envision?
Ivette Kuyateh (18:53):
Yeah, Well, it's interesting because when I
first got into it I was like,how do you even say trust and
span it?
Ron Greenwald (19:01):
I don't know, how do you it's?
Ivette Kuyateh (19:03):
video comicio.
Ron Greenwald (19:04):
Okay.
Ivette Kuyateh (19:05):
Right, it just sounds like this what is that?
I had never heard it before.
And that's the thing in ourculture.
It's not something that we growup with.
Ron Greenwald (19:15):
Is that because everybody is the patriarch, the
patriarch assumes thateverybody's going to get along?
Ivette Kuyateh (19:20):
Oh, definitely, but I mean, we have novela
sopapra.
We know that that's not true,right, like we know that that's
not going to happen, but also,you know, like majority families
, even outside the Latinoculture, we don't really
understand how money works.
So, going back to the book,right, we just don't grow up
with this knowledge, inherently,of what do I need to do to
(19:44):
protect my assets, what do Ineed to do for long term care
planning of myself, of my family, of my grandparents that are
getting older.
We just don't grow up with that.
We just it's not somethingthat's definitely taught in
schools, let alone in Mexico.
I know that's not taught inschools, they're or here.
So it is a sort of a strangeconcept in most families I found
(20:07):
.
Ron Greenwald (20:08):
And is it?
How do you transform that?
How do you turn the switch onto go?
This is really the benefit.
I mean.
A family has worked, they'retook us as off, for lack of a
better expression and they haveaccumulated some properties
whether in Mexico, san Diego,california, whatever the case
may be and actually havesomething to pass along
(20:32):
generationally.
How do you get them to go?
You're right, you bet.
How do you get them to go?
Yes, I need to do this.
Ivette Kuyateh (20:40):
It's the daughter, right, it's that.
It's that's where my nichecomes in.
Ron Greenwald (20:44):
Okay.
Ivette Kuyateh (20:44):
Why?
Because once she can articulateto her folks, to her
grandparents, to where we'relike, listen when something
happens to you.
Here's what's going to happento me.
Do it for me, and then itchanges their mindset, see,
because if they understand andyou know, I, I I talk to a lot
(21:06):
of professional women and youmight know this lawyers they
leave the firms, they leave thepractice right At high rates.
Because why?
Inherently, lawyer women arecaregivers, as we are in society
in general.
So that is the quickest thingthat I see really derailing
(21:29):
their careers.
And when I can communicate thatto them so they can instruct
their parents listen, I'm goingto have to take days off, take
care of you, to take you around,to handle my kids.
Now, your, your stuff, mycareer is going to take a
backseat.
If I can still keep a careerright, my savings are going to
plummet.
If I even have savings, yoursavings are going to plummet if
(21:52):
you even ever, you know evenhave savings.
Sometimes they can articulatethat please don't put me in that
worst case scenario.
Oftentimes that's the ahamoment, you know.
And then the other piece ofthat is for Latino families, the
home, la casa, is the 401k, andonce they understand like it's
(22:17):
not as simple as just, I'll putmy kid on the title Once they
understand probate and all ofthose things and Medicaid and
all of the other things thatcome into play, that's when they
go.
Okay, I need to protect it.
Ron Greenwald (22:32):
We actually we have a episode a couple of
months ago.
Suzanne, she, it's the classicstory.
She has two brothers one shehad to put a restraining order
on against so he wouldn't comevisit his parents.
The other one lived out a state.
She gives up her life prettymuch to move in with mom and dad
(22:55):
.
It's a great episode because Ialways, when I see somebody
moving in with mom and dad to bethe caregiver, and that person
who's moving in has siblings,I'm going.
Let me tell you how this isgoing to go down when your mom
and dad pass away.
It's going to be a poop show,just to put it bluntly.
And there's so little forcethought in the tongue of the
(23:20):
distribution of the assets, thequality of the distribution of
the assets.
I did this and now you want itto be a third, a third, a third
when I gave up my.
But they never think aboutlet's make it a transactional
ahead of time.
Let's talk to mom and dad aboutokay, if I do this, then what's
(23:41):
the?
They just don't want to.
They don't want to go down thatpath of making it a
transactional businessrelationship.
So that's what I see over andover and over again.
So that's really where you'vecome in and go listen, let me,
let me help you, let me help you.
Ivette Kuyateh (23:56):
Let me help you here.
Let me tell you what's going tohappen on that side.
Ron Greenwald (24:01):
On that side.
Ivette Kuyateh (24:02):
Not even thinking on what's going to
affect you personally.
Ron Greenwald (24:06):
Well, I it's so unbelievably because, again,
suzanne, who was on the podcast,she, she literally had to move
out and get cause she just itwas, it was.
It's an interesting again, thedynamics of the father's
daughter, mother daughterrelationships, all of that comes
back into play and it's peoplethink they can handle.
(24:29):
Well, I could go on and on.
Being a caregiver in general isthe hardest job and you burn
out and you usually it's yourhealth that deteriorates faster
than the person you're caringfor.
And I just am thrilled to this,you know, for you to be that
advocate to that sandwichgeneration to say, listen,
that's, before we go down thispath, let's have a plan.
Ivette Kuyateh (24:51):
Yeah, for yourself, for yourself.
Ron Greenwald (24:54):
Yeah, well, that's fantastic.
Yeah, I'm very interested.
You obviously, in terms of yourfaith, comes into a big part of
that.
How is, how do you, how do youweave that into the estate
planning and your business model?
Ivette Kuyateh (25:12):
Wow, that's a really great question.
I've never been asked thatbefore, cause I mean it's you
know the religion, religious.
Ron Greenwald (25:19):
Religious is a big part of your life.
Ivette Kuyateh (25:21):
Yeah, it's huge.
Ron Greenwald (25:24):
So how do you relay that into your plan?
Ivette Kuyateh (25:27):
Well, I've had the opportunity to pray for my
clients with my clients.
You know I, I am who, I amupfront, right, that's not for
everybody, um, but I also don'tdon't shy away from it, and I'm
self employed.
You're in great, I mean.
Ron Greenwald (25:46):
I'm I.
I think it's fantastic you areembracing it yes.
The first line of your websiteexperience.
Excellence meets zealousadvocacy.
Again, I, I, if anybody thatwants to be inspired in the
evening, go to the website andjust really be inspired.
Meet our trailblazing founder,the devoted Christian.
(26:06):
So that is, faith is numero unothere.
I'm sorry, daughter, but anywaythat's fascinating.
You embrace it in part of yourbusiness model.
Ivette Kuyateh (26:19):
Yeah, absolutely .
I mean I guess I, god, is myCEO, and sometimes that means
praying for my client.
Sometimes that means doing probono work, sometimes that means
not doing something Right.
I'm led by the Holy Spirit 100%I try to be and no matter what
(26:44):
my clients come in, you knowtheir beliefs, their system or
whatever I just I, I.
I know that having to beaccountable to a big guy
upstairs who I'm accountable to,you know that at the end of the
day keeps me where I need to beright Centered and being able
(27:05):
to show up as the best that Ican for them.
Ron Greenwald (27:08):
And it was Christianity something that has
happened recently, or is thatgoing back to your college days?
I winded this.
When did that?
I mean again, I'm.
I'm.
Well, you know Christianity isa very important part of one's
life.
Obviously, religion is part ofone's life, so you've made this
(27:30):
part of your model.
I'm just fascinated.
Was this something thattransformationally happened, or
was this something that yourfamily, part of your family,
upbringing?
Ivette Kuyateh (27:39):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (27:40):
I just I think it's fascinating because I I
think it's important for to dothe right thing and you are
advocating on so many behalf ofso many people.
Ivette Kuyateh (27:50):
Yeah, it wasn't.
You know, I grew up in a veryCatholic basic culture, I'll say
cultural Catholic upbringing,and it was very religious, but I
never really had a relationshipwith God, with God in it.
And you know, I mentioned toyou my parents died, my mom died
(28:17):
when I was 11.
When that happens you kind oflose faith in everything.
Right, that trauma that.
So I actually walked away fromanything wanting anything to do
with any God for years and Ispent my teenagers in the large
part of my early 20s not wantingin it because I was so angry.
(28:39):
There was a lot there.
I eventually found thatrelationship and, trust me, I
looked in different places.
I've looked at Buddhism, Ilooked at Muslim faith.
I looked at different placesand once I found Christianity
that was mine and it felt likethat was the missing puzzle
(29:00):
piece and, for me, reallyembracing the concept of
forgiveness as a whole, theconcept of, you know, just being
liberated from that trauma.
My mom was murdered by the wayof domestic violence.
Ron Greenwald (29:21):
Oh my gosh.
Ivette Kuyateh (29:22):
So working through that is that was the
only way, ron.
That literally was the only wayfor me.
That's what allows me to dowhat I do.
That's what allowed me to doyou know, law school and go on
and do all these things.
People tell me you know, nobodywould blame you for like being
an addict.
You know crackhead strong outon the side of the street but
(29:45):
you know that.
You know that footprints in thesand, that was my whole life
and once I realized, wow, godwas carrying me all those years
when I, even when I turned myback on him, when I wanted
nothing to do with him, itwasn't anything really I did
(30:07):
Because look where he got me,look where he has me.
I I could not definitively sayit was me.
Come on like you.
Don't get to where I am withouta greater God carrying you
through.
Ron Greenwald (30:23):
You have siblings .
Ivette Kuyateh (30:24):
I do.
Ron Greenwald (30:26):
Were they able to move on like you have, in terms
of being just elevatingyourself to a higher level?
Ivette Kuyateh (30:34):
I want to say yes, but the reality is they
didn't.
We grew up 20 years apart.
When this happened.
They were living in Mexico.
We didn't have the same impact.
Their impact was a little bitdifferent.
Ron Greenwald (30:53):
This all comes back to planning, it's true.
Obviously that's devastating.
It's hard to hear Again forpeople that can see the light at
the end of the tunnel, that youwere much of a victim, as your
mom was.
(31:14):
Now it all makes sense as toand I have to when you're
prosecuting some just rottenindividual, are you able to
forgive that person?
You have seen some incrediblestories.
Ivette Kuyateh (31:36):
Yes, I have.
I never really thought aboutthe forgiveness of that person
because that wasn't something Icould forgive.
Ron Greenwald (31:48):
It wasn't done to me, not to you.
Ivette Kuyateh (31:53):
But definitely, having the experience as a
victim, I could understand thevictims I was representing in an
entirely different way andunderstand the choices they made
or didn't make because of whatI had and my family had gone
through.
Ron Greenwald (32:12):
Well, as I said, who's ever listening?
If you're listening to this andyou are a past victim of
whatever abuse, whether it's aparent, a husband, a spouse, I
just encourage to reach out toyou as a voice.
I'm sure you would take theircall and talk to them.
(32:36):
Absolutely it sounds like interms of advocacy.
And then obviously, the plan,the estate plan, life plan I'll
call it life Marguerite Lorenz,who was a professional fiduciary
.
She empowered life, empowermentplanning, and she coined that
when she was on the podcast.
(32:56):
That's how I they may not havethat huge estate but they need a
life plan and when you have alife plan you can take that
first step forward.
And I am just really blown awayby your background, by your
advocacy, by where you have somany people fall into that dark
(33:20):
hole and never recover and thatyou have been able to find
Christianity and that you'vebeen able to then take that and
really improve people's lives.
So I mean, that's just thekudos to you and your firm.
Tell us a little bit more aboutthe firm and where you're going
.
Where are you going with thefirm?
Ivette Kuyateh (33:41):
Yeah, well, I will say we back up just a
minute to that because, you know, san Diego Lawyer Magazine
asked me this question.
It's like how do you, how doyou want people when they see
you, what do you want them toknow?
And I always say the same thing.
I want people to know that itwasn't me right, because my life
(34:05):
is literally a walking, livingtestimony of miracles after
miracles, after miracles.
We only have a short amount oftime today, right, but they,
when people meet me, I want themto know Jesus, I want them to
know that there is no other waythat this woman could be where
she's at, but for because of themiracles that God's done in her
(34:30):
life.
There's no way.
So I don't take credit, youknow.
Ron Greenwald (34:37):
I think it's a two-way street.
I think there's some, there'ssomeone.
You have to take the lead.
You have to follow, well, notfollow.
You have to take the lead andsay I'm going to be this person.
Ivette Kuyateh (34:51):
Yeah, you got to be willing for sure, you got to
be willing, yeah, definitely.
Ron Greenwald (34:55):
And so you know, as they say it's, it's aikudos.
So, yes, I understand whatyou're saying, but you have to
be something within you Now,whether it's Jesus, christianity
, but there's something alsowithin you, some kind of power
to say I can overcome and helpothers, and that you are going
to do that?
Ivette Kuyateh (35:16):
Yeah, but who puts it in there?
Ron Greenwald (35:17):
Who puts it in there?
Ivette Kuyateh (35:18):
Yeah, so we can just go back to the other side.
Ron Greenwald (35:21):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know it's a debate for
the ages, yeah, yeah, but but Ithink it's a fabulous story.
Ivette Kuyateh (35:28):
Thank you, good for you.
So, yeah, te La Group, where,where is it going?
Right, we're going into gosh,our fifth year, sixth year, yeah
, and you know they say whatdoes I say?
Like businesses fail withinwell, two, three to five.
You know you add in pandemic, Idon't know.
(35:50):
We're still around and we'regrowing and we're doing and
exciting stuff.
And so I'm going to always be avictim advocate because of where
I come from and what I do, andthat's my passion.
I'm going to always be doinglife planning and estate
planning because that is also apassion of making sure that
(36:12):
other families generationallydon't don't end up where minded,
you know, where dad leaves ahuge estate and the siblings are
a mess and the family is a messbecause stuff wasn't tightened
up.
Or the long term care planning.
Where I'm going next.
I'm currently studying for myown health, life and securities
(36:37):
licenses to also bring in thatfinancial services piece to my
clients individually, not onlyas their lawyer, but also as an
advisor, because I want I justsee time and time again they
number one.
There's this we'll say distrustsometimes with the Latino
(37:03):
community of financial advisors,of people that talk to them
about money, and I'm alreadythere, I'm already having those
conversations and they go well,can you do it?
I have another license, so I'mworking at that and I want to
bring on other lawyers that aredoing that, are passionate about
(37:23):
that as well, that are doingthe work, that understand.
You know what happens whenthere's no plan in place,
because we could put an estateplan together that's beautiful
on paper and the pages are niceand I give you this really
beautiful binder.
But if your retirements are,accounts are a mess, if you
don't have long term careinsurance prepared, if your
(37:46):
mortgage isn't going to be paidoff, if your kids aren't going
to be able to go to school, ifsomething happens to you, you
know I've failed.
I've failed you as your advisor, as a lawyer, and then I want
to be able to help my clients inthat aspect as well.
So we're growing in that and Iwant other lawyers to get in on
(38:08):
that because it is such a need.
Ron Greenwald (38:12):
And is that just the Hispanic community, but just
in general In general with theaging population, and so many
people are not taking the leadin getting their planning done.
It's the staggering numbers ofa whole dozen.
Ivette Kuyateh (38:27):
Yeah, I mean the baby boomers.
Right now they're retiring.
The transfer of money that'sabout to, that's happening
already, and then by 2030,that's gonna happen to women in
this country specifically is inthe millions, millions you know.
So are we prepared for thatRight do we have?
(38:48):
So we're living longer.
Our parents are living longer.
We're living longer.
There's a great problem untilyou're out living your money,
until we don't have socialsecurity to rely on, until
Medicaid sorry, until long-termcare wipes out my entire life
savings.
You know I have clients all thetime that tell me no, I'm good.
And I ask them what happens ifyou get dementia, if you get
(39:11):
Alzheimer's?
What's gonna happen?
Do you understand that it'sover $10,000 a month for a
nursing home that your daughterdoesn't have an extra 150K to
just pay for?
Do you know how quickly that'sgonna eat up your retirement
account?
Do you know how quickly that'sgonna eat up the equity in your
mortgage?
So what good is this beautifulbinder gonna do if I know that
(39:36):
I'm leaving you?
I'm sending you off with abunch of bullet holes in it.
Ron Greenwald (39:41):
Well said, how do we get ahold of you?
Let's get some.
How do we get ahold of?
Ivette Kuyateh (39:47):
you.
Ron Greenwald (39:48):
What's the best way?
Ivette Kuyateh (39:49):
Best way is the firm phone number, so that's
619-535-0066, or you can emailme directly.
Ron Greenwald (39:59):
And you email.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:00):
Yvette I-V-E-T-T-E at kuyatelagroupcom.
Ron Greenwald (40:06):
You can also follow me at Spell your last
name for the listening audienceK-U-Y-A-T-E-H.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:13):
Beautiful, thank you, and then you can follow me
on social media.
Ron Greenwald (40:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're very active, You're very
active, you're very active,You're very active.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:20):
I have videos up and I try to just do a lot of
education on all the things I'mpassionate about.
Ron Greenwald (40:28):
Well, I think there's certainly.
I think I'm gonna try to helpyou get out and speak more.
That's kind of now, havingtalked to you and met you in
person and having gone throughhaving done this podcast.
There's so much moreopportunity than we can.
Well, you'll be too busy, butit's really important that your
(40:48):
message is out there, one forwhat you overcame, that you went
through and how you overcamethat.
That should be your.
Where's the autobiography?
When is that coming out?
With the Money Book?
You put those two together.
You'll be on tour pretty soonin the New York Times
(41:09):
bestselling list because I thinkit's a very powerful story that
you are passionate in helpingthat sandwich generation.
We know how it's built.
That's just exploding in need.
So thank you so so much for,with toe issues and everything
(41:31):
Coming up here today and beingon the podcast, it's really that
very honored to be here.
I greatly admire your serviceto humanity.
I greatly admire your serviceto yourself as the number one
and to your family, and thankyou so much for being here.
Ivette Kuyateh (41:51):
Thank you so much, Ron.
I appreciate your invite andtaking the time to hear my
message.
And we're gonna give you a copywith the book, and that's
another thing is, if yourlisteners wanna get hooked up
with a book, they can call theoffice or they can shoot me an
email and I'll find a way to getthem a free copy of the book.
Ron Greenwald (42:15):
Perfect great way to end the podcast.
Thank you, Yvette.
Ivette Kuyateh (42:18):
Thank you, Ron.
Ron Greenwald (42:19):
Have a great day.
Ivette Kuyateh (42:20):
You too, bye, bye.
Welcome in.
This is Ron Greenwald, the RonGreenwald Show.
This podcast is a professionalform for all of those that
dedicate themselves to workingwith older adults to listen to
and hear and understand storiesof great value, insight and
support for as we age.
(00:22):
And it's really the mission ofRon Greenwald the podcast to
help guide older adults to makeinformed and intelligent and
productive decision making sothat, first of all, their family
always has Thanksgivingtogether and they understand
that planning is really going torelieve them of anxiety, so
(00:43):
they know what the future lookslike it's not a straight shot to
the, you know and so that lastthird of life is through
planning and execution andinformation that we really have
an incredible journey.
So with that, I am honored andprivileged to introduce you to
Ivette Kuyateh.
(01:05):
Did I say that?
Okay, Close enough, Closeenough.
Cuyete aw Group and I just arehonored to have you here today.
Your background is simplyinspiring, awe-inspiring for
somebody to go onto your websiteand look at your past and what
(01:27):
you're doing today and reallyhow you are here to really be an
advocate and really be a voicefor people that don't have the
voice.
I love what you havetrademarked.
Kingdoms Hero.
Lawyer in Heels Kingdoms Hero.
Lawyer in Heels.
That is worth repeating.
(01:47):
So, Yvette, I'm going to allowyou to take it from here and
introduce yourself to thelistening audience.
Ivette Kuyateh (01:54):
Thank you, Ron.
Thank you so much.
Now I got a buy you lunch.
That was such an awesomeintroduction.
Ron Greenwald (02:00):
Oh really, I just I spent last night just
rereading this.
It's so inspiring.
Ivette Kuyateh (02:05):
Thank you, I appreciate you having me on.
Yeah, I, like you, mentionedKingdoms Hero Lawyer in Heels,
and so what that stands for isKingdoms.
I'm a Christian lawyer thatgoes before everything I do.
I always say God is my CEO.
She-row Lawyer in Heels.
(02:26):
I love Heels that right now Ibroke my toe, so you know we're
doing platform heels today.
But what I do, ron, I helpfamilies, and I'm able to do
that in a way where we get intosome really awesome planning
when we'll talk about today anda lot of my clients are estate
(02:47):
planning clients, as you areaware of, and we go through a
lot of the planning of what thatwill actually look like, and I
also have a lot of.
My other side of my practice ishelping victims of crime.
I'm a former prosecutor and soI really focus on empowering
those victims, on rebuildingtheir lives, and so all of that.
(03:09):
To say, money is at the centerof all of it.
Money gives you choices and youhave choices when you have
money to plan with and for, andso we'll get into that.
But, in a nutshell, that's whatI do.
Ron Greenwald (03:24):
Well, let's go back in time a little bit.
So you grew up where?
Ivette Kuyateh (03:30):
I grew up in Mexico, okay, in Guanajuato, up
until I was about seven or eight, and then went to California,
up in Northern California, andgrow up there.
Ron Greenwald (03:42):
And undergraduate .
Ivette Kuyateh (03:44):
UC Davis.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, yeah, uc Davis I lovethat campus.
Ron Greenwald (03:49):
My stepdaughter went to UC Davis and she didn't
take wine classes and that'swine classes, but she's got a
fabulous degree and it's afantastic school.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:00):
So you go from there to I went from there to
hitting the workforce.
I was a social worker In myprevious life and I worked for
Child Protective Services.
I was a court investigator.
Ron Greenwald (04:13):
This is all in California, all in.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:14):
California.
Yeah, and then decided it wastime for law school, and that's
what brought me out here to SanDiego originally.
Ron Greenwald (04:23):
So you went to law school here and then pack up
to go to Virginia.
I'm trying to yeah, not rightaway yeah.
Ivette Kuyateh (04:33):
We moved back up to Northern California.
I did some civil litigationwork for some firms up there and
then met my now wonderfulhusband, who was living in
Virginia.
Ron Greenwald (04:47):
Right, there's always a boy in this, right,
well, I mean the wife hashashtag girl, mom and mentor to
others.
I just, I mean, just, it's veryinspirational, your website,
thank you.
So you go to Virginia and youbecome a prosecuting attorney
Correct, okay, for themunicipality in Virginia.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:09):
Yeah For the Commonwealth of Virginia and
prosecuted domestic violence andsexual assault, crimes towards
the ins and juvenile crimes, butdid that for a little while.
That's initially what I set outto do during law school.
Ron Greenwald (05:23):
Is to be prosecuted, like elder abuse and
that type of crime againstcitizens.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:30):
Yeah, all crimes against victims.
Ron Greenwald (05:32):
And then okay, so you do that for how many years?
Ivette Kuyateh (05:37):
That was out there for a couple years and
then we decided that it was timeto come back to California, and
so we were back.
We were back to San Diegoshortly after that opened up
Cuyate law group.
Ron Greenwald (05:51):
And your is your husband an attorney.
Ivette Kuyateh (05:53):
He is not.
Thank God no.
Ron Greenwald (05:58):
So you open up the, you open up the law group
in in how long ago?
Ivette Kuyateh (06:02):
Right before the pandemic actually.
So it was Martin Luther KingDay a little bit before before
the pen and Martin Luther KingJr Day of 2019, actually, and so
and when you came, when youpick up and leave Virginia I've
seen your husband has you.
Ron Greenwald (06:23):
You don't have it and you're going to set up a
whole.
You're going to put out theshingle and set up a new
practice.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:27):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (06:28):
Your husband has a job, I assume in some capacity
.
Yeah, here, no, no, not reallyno no, my husband's also an
entrepreneur.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:36):
Oh yeah, he's an independent securities license
financial advisor.
Oh so he had the freedom andthe clientele to literally work
from everywhere.
Ron Greenwald (06:46):
Gotcha.
Ivette Kuyateh (06:47):
That that that was a blessing, and initially I
didn't open up my practice rightaway.
I actually went to work foranother civil litigation firm
and then quickly decided it'stime.
Ron Greenwald (07:00):
And did something happen to trigger I want to go
and do estate planning work andall the other things that you do
.
I mean what?
What triggered that change?
Ivette Kuyateh (07:10):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (07:10):
Was therea tipping point?
Ivette Kuyateh (07:12):
Yeah, no, I actually fell into the actual
practice of it.
My husband's clients neededestate plans and I started
dabbling and really quicklydecided this is really rewarding
work and this found my niche init, basically because I
(07:34):
realized in my own familyexperience wow, you know, we, if
we really really had solidestate planning in my personal
family experience this the kindof stuff we're still living
generations in wouldn't havehappened.
So just, I just knew the valueof it, but I didn't realize
(07:55):
really how rewarding it was todo it.
Ron Greenwald (07:58):
So again, you saw the human side of the law.
I mean, well, I mean you'reprosecuting bad guys, so that to
me is that's pretty intense,that had to be pretty intense,
and what kakudos for you for fordoing that.
So now, in terms of your, theshare of your practice, you have
a book.
Tell us a little bit about that.
Ivette Kuyateh (08:20):
Right, so I do have any book this one, however.
So this is called how MoneyWorks Stopping a Sucker.
Okay, and it's written by TomMatthews and Steve Siebold, and
it's not my personal book.
I wrote, but it is afoundational book that I use to
teach my clients about money andit's number one right now book
(08:46):
on financial literacy.
I brought you a book.
Ron Greenwald (08:49):
Thank you.
Ivette Kuyateh (08:50):
I brought you a book.
Thank, you.
And your team too, and I reallythink that money, in my
experience, is the foundation ofour choices.
That we have.
It controls everything.
We're seeing it nowadays, rightFrom what groceries you buy,
(09:11):
where you get to live, rightwhen you get to plan, and so, no
matter what my clients arewalking in through the door with
, when they know about theirmoney and they have some sort of
autonomy on how money actuallyworks or isn't working for them,
it's powerful to be transformedwith that knowledge, so I use
(09:32):
it across the board.
Ron Greenwald (09:34):
Is that your intro?
I mean, when the client comesin, is that something that's
kind of laid out on the table?
I mean, let's talk about whereyou're at with this.
Ivette Kuyateh (09:42):
Yeah, no, no, not, not.
I wouldn't say not at theinception.
It's more of a gradual, I wouldsay, process.
Some people come in and theyare ready to talk about all of
their money.
But money is a taboo topic,right.
So some people aren't ready totalk about that kind of stuff.
(10:05):
But we get into it very quickly.
As far as you know what you'refighting about, where your life
circumstances are, what planningdo you have?
And for estate planning clientsparticularly, it does come in
when we're going through whatare your plans?
Right?
Where are you going to be downthe road?
Ron Greenwald (10:24):
I'm interested in terms of you said you helping
rebuild people's lives that arevictims of some type of assault
or abuse.
So that's part of your estateplanning practice or is that a
whole, separate part of the lawgroup?
Ivette Kuyateh (10:40):
It goes hand in hand, for sure, but I'll give
you the way of how I use it.
So, as a prosecutor and doingthe work in domestic violence
and victims' crimes, we see timeand time again that victims in
(11:00):
99% of the cases this is anactual statistic financial abuse
is an abuse that theyexperience and so, whether it is
a victim human trafficking, adomestic violence victim, a
victim of elder care, you knowsituations, money, when their
money is controlled, theiroptions are controlled, and so
(11:23):
getting their psychology around,knowing the money and then
having the milestones that areawesome in there in this book
about what are the milestonesyou need to have, build for
yourself maybe some have it,maybe they don't gives them kind
of a roadmap of where they needto be, so a victim might leave
(11:44):
and not have anything, but theyknow, okay.
My roadmap is maybe building asecurity, you know, three months
emergency fund, Maybe, okay.
Next step is looking at my cashflow, my expenses, my debt.
Okay, Not everybody is at theasset management part, Not
(12:04):
everybody is at the I haveassets to put in a trust part.
So it really runs the gamutacross the board, right.
But for victims specifically,it gives them a roadmap.
Ron Greenwald (12:16):
So if someone's a , I mean this is very close to
home right now for me becausesomebody very I won't mention
names or anything like that butsomebody who I know very, very
well for a lot of years wasassaulted, brutally assaulted,
(12:37):
and I'm kind of finding out alittle.
I mean, she's not communicatingreally well with the outside
world, she's kind of you know,and so I'm just like, from your
standpoint, you have, you have.
I think you're back, you have us.
Well, you have the degree, andoriginally in your not care
(12:58):
psychology, so you really havethat ability to reach out and
touch people, to bring them outin their shell, and I think
planning is certainly as if theyhave the plan and they're going
to feel much more comfortablewith moving forward.
Ivette Kuyateh (13:13):
Yeah, yeah, I mean, can you imagine?
I mean, if you, we don't knowwhere to start something, it
feels overwhelming, you know.
But if you give them a roadmapof, hey, this is where you need
to go Now, those that bigmountain cut down into little
milestones is so much moreattainable.
Ron Greenwald (13:32):
Do you work with the district attorney's office
here in San Diego County to getpeople to come to you as to help
them put those plans in place?
Because I think that would be.
Is that something that hasactually happened?
Ivette Kuyateh (13:46):
So I actually work a lot with the Northern
North County Family JusticeCenter.
Ron Greenwald (13:53):
Okay, I do.
Ivette Kuyateh (13:53):
my firm is one of the providers.
We do a lot of pro bono workwhen it comes to financial abuse
and literacy.
We do a lot of talks in thecommunity and educate them on
that, and so, yeah, we'redefinitely connected in that.
Ron Greenwald (14:14):
Are you seeing, are you a lot of these people,
elders, I mean, are you seeing alot of that?
The elder abuse, the elderfinancial abuse?
Ivette Kuyateh (14:21):
Definitely, that is definitely a population.
But the Family Justice Centerfocuses more specifically with
domestic violence or sexualassault victims.
Ron Greenwald (14:33):
Wow.
Ivette Kuyateh (14:34):
Yeah, but yeah, they do awesome work and I've
been blessed to be able to traintheir people, and so I've done
a number of trainings to firstresponders and DAs that you know
they need to know whatfinancial abuse is.
Ron Greenwald (14:49):
Right.
Ivette Kuyateh (14:50):
Because, as a prosecutor we see time and time
again.
You know, victim calls 911,someone gets picked up, then
it's the hearing time.
Well, by the time you get tothe hearing time, they recant.
They don't want to testify.
They don't want their loved onein jail.
Why?
Because if he goes to jail,who's going to pay rent?
How am I going to do it on oneincome?
So there's a lot to the puzzlethan just show up to the hearing
(15:13):
and prosecute.
Ron Greenwald (15:16):
And when do you come into that loop or when are
you brought into that loop?
Ivette Kuyateh (15:22):
As far as the plant right now, more training
their people and the serviceproviders so they can recognize
right.
So my whole goal is can I getout there and educate the masses
on what are the red flags ofbeing financially abused?
(15:45):
What does it look like?
You know, what are some thingsthat I can look like, that I can
see that, so I don't normalizebehavior, so I can start paying
attention.
Ron Greenwald (15:56):
As I say, just it's interest.
I did just a full circle herebecause I was used to be very
involved with Paul Greenwood,who was our former deputy
district attorney here.
I don't know if that nameresonates.
He's been retired for a fewyears.
But financial elder abuse issomething in my world that I
(16:17):
have seen over and over and overagain.
It's usually a family member,it's not.
A lot of times it's the adultchild, the 50 year old son who's
taking a financial advantage ofmom.
It's just heartbreaking to seethat, and so I'm just fascinated
(16:39):
.
Women of influence and law 2023, on a reef in the San Diego
Business Journal.
You are really placed yourselfout there to really be
supportive, and that all comesback to again.
Your primary focus is estateplanning for the couples, for
individuals.
I mean, is it young familiesthat are coming in to see, is
(17:01):
that really your niche as youngfamilies, trying to set up that
initial estate plan?
Ivette Kuyateh (17:05):
Yeah, a lot of them are.
But I'll tell you, ron, myniche has really been the
families.
Specifically, most of the timeit's the elder daughter or
sister that are in the sandwichgeneration, right, and so you
know what I mean by that.
But for your listeners, theyaren't familiar right.
(17:28):
It's the adult daughter that haslittle kids or kids at home,
but also mom and dad or grandma,grandpa, that she's caring for.
So if you can imagine theburden, the trifecta right of
trying to care for two differentstages of life and at the same
(17:48):
time trying to get your ownstuff together, pay the bills,
let alone save for your ownretirement right, that's really
where my niche has been and Ican identify in that niche from
a variety of perspectives.
Ron Greenwald (18:04):
But Are you that niche?
Are you that person?
Ivette Kuyateh (18:08):
Not right now.
I can't say that I am, althoughour girls run the gamut of ages
right, but I'm not taking careof my own parents right now.
My parents are deceased.
Ron Greenwald (18:19):
Oh.
Ivette Kuyateh (18:20):
But I can definitely understand.
You know what that entails inthe Latino culture.
That is what we do, right, youknow that's just what we do.
Ron Greenwald (18:31):
And you are obviously your bilingual.
Give us that culture.
Do they embrace?
There's the culture I meanthey're intergenerational, for
sure.
Do they embrace planning interms of the trust and all that,
like I envision?
Ivette Kuyateh (18:53):
Yeah, Well, it's interesting because when I
first got into it I was like,how do you even say trust and
span it?
Ron Greenwald (19:01):
I don't know, how do you it's?
Ivette Kuyateh (19:03):
video comicio.
Ron Greenwald (19:04):
Okay.
Ivette Kuyateh (19:05):
Right, it just sounds like this what is that?
I had never heard it before.
And that's the thing in ourculture.
It's not something that we growup with.
Ron Greenwald (19:15):
Is that because everybody is the patriarch, the
patriarch assumes thateverybody's going to get along?
Ivette Kuyateh (19:20):
Oh, definitely, but I mean, we have novela
sopapra.
We know that that's not true,right, like we know that that's
not going to happen, but also,you know, like majority families
, even outside the Latinoculture, we don't really
understand how money works.
So, going back to the book,right, we just don't grow up
with this knowledge, inherently,of what do I need to do to
(19:44):
protect my assets, what do Ineed to do for long term care
planning of myself, of my family, of my grandparents that are
getting older.
We just don't grow up with that.
We just it's not somethingthat's definitely taught in
schools, let alone in Mexico.
I know that's not taught inschools, they're or here.
So it is a sort of a strangeconcept in most families I found
(20:07):
.
Ron Greenwald (20:08):
And is it?
How do you transform that?
How do you turn the switch onto go?
This is really the benefit.
I mean.
A family has worked, they'retook us as off, for lack of a
better expression and they haveaccumulated some properties
whether in Mexico, san Diego,california, whatever the case
may be and actually havesomething to pass along
(20:32):
generationally.
How do you get them to go?
You're right, you bet.
How do you get them to go?
Yes, I need to do this.
Ivette Kuyateh (20:40):
It's the daughter, right, it's that.
It's that's where my nichecomes in.
Ron Greenwald (20:44):
Okay.
Ivette Kuyateh (20:44):
Why?
Because once she can articulateto her folks, to her
grandparents, to where we'relike, listen when something
happens to you.
Here's what's going to happento me.
Do it for me, and then itchanges their mindset, see,
because if they understand andyou know, I, I I talk to a lot
(21:06):
of professional women and youmight know this lawyers they
leave the firms, they leave thepractice right At high rates.
Because why?
Inherently, lawyer women arecaregivers, as we are in society
in general.
So that is the quickest thingthat I see really derailing
(21:29):
their careers.
And when I can communicate thatto them so they can instruct
their parents listen, I'm goingto have to take days off, take
care of you, to take you around,to handle my kids.
Now, your, your stuff, mycareer is going to take a
backseat.
If I can still keep a careerright, my savings are going to
plummet.
If I even have savings, yoursavings are going to plummet if
(21:52):
you even ever, you know evenhave savings.
Sometimes they can articulatethat please don't put me in that
worst case scenario.
Oftentimes that's the ahamoment, you know.
And then the other piece ofthat is for Latino families, the
home, la casa, is the 401k, andonce they understand like it's
(22:17):
not as simple as just, I'll putmy kid on the title Once they
understand probate and all ofthose things and Medicaid and
all of the other things thatcome into play, that's when they
go.
Okay, I need to protect it.
Ron Greenwald (22:32):
We actually we have a episode a couple of
months ago.
Suzanne, she, it's the classicstory.
She has two brothers one shehad to put a restraining order
on against so he wouldn't comevisit his parents.
The other one lived out a state.
She gives up her life prettymuch to move in with mom and dad
(22:55):
.
It's a great episode because Ialways, when I see somebody
moving in with mom and dad to bethe caregiver, and that person
who's moving in has siblings,I'm going.
Let me tell you how this isgoing to go down when your mom
and dad pass away.
It's going to be a poop show,just to put it bluntly.
And there's so little forcethought in the tongue of the
(23:20):
distribution of the assets, thequality of the distribution of
the assets.
I did this and now you want itto be a third, a third, a third
when I gave up my.
But they never think aboutlet's make it a transactional
ahead of time.
Let's talk to mom and dad aboutokay, if I do this, then what's
(23:41):
the?
They just don't want to.
They don't want to go down thatpath of making it a
transactional businessrelationship.
So that's what I see over andover and over again.
So that's really where you'vecome in and go listen, let me,
let me help you, let me help you.
Ivette Kuyateh (23:56):
Let me help you here.
Let me tell you what's going tohappen on that side.
Ron Greenwald (24:01):
On that side.
Ivette Kuyateh (24:02):
Not even thinking on what's going to
affect you personally.
Ron Greenwald (24:06):
Well, I it's so unbelievably because, again,
suzanne, who was on the podcast,she, she literally had to move
out and get cause she just itwas, it was.
It's an interesting again, thedynamics of the father's
daughter, mother daughterrelationships, all of that comes
back into play and it's peoplethink they can handle.
(24:29):
Well, I could go on and on.
Being a caregiver in general isthe hardest job and you burn
out and you usually it's yourhealth that deteriorates faster
than the person you're caringfor.
And I just am thrilled to this,you know, for you to be that
advocate to that sandwichgeneration to say, listen,
that's, before we go down thispath, let's have a plan.
Ivette Kuyateh (24:51):
Yeah, for yourself, for yourself.
Ron Greenwald (24:54):
Yeah, well, that's fantastic.
Yeah, I'm very interested.
You obviously, in terms of yourfaith, comes into a big part of
that.
How is, how do you, how do youweave that into the estate
planning and your business model?
Ivette Kuyateh (25:12):
Wow, that's a really great question.
I've never been asked thatbefore, cause I mean it's you
know the religion, religious.
Ron Greenwald (25:19):
Religious is a big part of your life.
Ivette Kuyateh (25:21):
Yeah, it's huge.
Ron Greenwald (25:24):
So how do you relay that into your plan?
Ivette Kuyateh (25:27):
Well, I've had the opportunity to pray for my
clients with my clients.
You know I, I am who, I amupfront, right, that's not for
everybody, um, but I also don'tdon't shy away from it, and I'm
self employed.
You're in great, I mean.
Ron Greenwald (25:46):
I'm I.
I think it's fantastic you areembracing it yes.
The first line of your websiteexperience.
Excellence meets zealousadvocacy.
Again, I, I, if anybody thatwants to be inspired in the
evening, go to the website andjust really be inspired.
Meet our trailblazing founder,the devoted Christian.
(26:06):
So that is, faith is numero unothere.
I'm sorry, daughter, but anywaythat's fascinating.
You embrace it in part of yourbusiness model.
Ivette Kuyateh (26:19):
Yeah, absolutely .
I mean I guess I, god, is myCEO, and sometimes that means
praying for my client.
Sometimes that means doing probono work, sometimes that means
not doing something Right.
I'm led by the Holy Spirit 100%I try to be and no matter what
(26:44):
my clients come in, you knowtheir beliefs, their system or
whatever I just I, I.
I know that having to beaccountable to a big guy
upstairs who I'm accountable to,you know that at the end of the
day keeps me where I need to beright Centered and being able
(27:05):
to show up as the best that Ican for them.
Ron Greenwald (27:08):
And it was Christianity something that has
happened recently, or is thatgoing back to your college days?
I winded this.
When did that?
I mean again, I'm.
I'm.
Well, you know Christianity isa very important part of one's
life.
Obviously, religion is part ofone's life, so you've made this
(27:30):
part of your model.
I'm just fascinated.
Was this something thattransformationally happened, or
was this something that yourfamily, part of your family,
upbringing?
Ivette Kuyateh (27:39):
Yeah.
Ron Greenwald (27:40):
I just I think it's fascinating because I I
think it's important for to dothe right thing and you are
advocating on so many behalf ofso many people.
Ivette Kuyateh (27:50):
Yeah, it wasn't.
You know, I grew up in a veryCatholic basic culture, I'll say
cultural Catholic upbringing,and it was very religious, but I
never really had a relationshipwith God, with God in it.
And you know, I mentioned toyou my parents died, my mom died
(28:17):
when I was 11.
When that happens you kind oflose faith in everything.
Right, that trauma that.
So I actually walked away fromanything wanting anything to do
with any God for years and Ispent my teenagers in the large
part of my early 20s not wantingin it because I was so angry.
(28:39):
There was a lot there.
I eventually found thatrelationship and, trust me, I
looked in different places.
I've looked at Buddhism, Ilooked at Muslim faith.
I looked at different placesand once I found Christianity
that was mine and it felt likethat was the missing puzzle
(29:00):
piece and, for me, reallyembracing the concept of
forgiveness as a whole, theconcept of, you know, just being
liberated from that trauma.
My mom was murdered by the wayof domestic violence.
Ron Greenwald (29:21):
Oh my gosh.
Ivette Kuyateh (29:22):
So working through that is that was the
only way, ron.
That literally was the only wayfor me.
That's what allows me to dowhat I do.
That's what allowed me to doyou know, law school and go on
and do all these things.
People tell me you know, nobodywould blame you for like being
an addict.
You know crackhead strong outon the side of the street but
(29:45):
you know that.
You know that footprints in thesand, that was my whole life
and once I realized, wow, godwas carrying me all those years
when I, even when I turned myback on him, when I wanted
nothing to do with him, itwasn't anything really I did
(30:07):
Because look where he got me,look where he has me.
I I could not definitively sayit was me.
Come on like you.
Don't get to where I am withouta greater God carrying you
through.
Ron Greenwald (30:23):
You have siblings .
Ivette Kuyateh (30:24):
I do.
Ron Greenwald (30:26):
Were they able to move on like you have, in terms
of being just elevatingyourself to a higher level?
Ivette Kuyateh (30:34):
I want to say yes, but the reality is they
didn't.
We grew up 20 years apart.
When this happened.
They were living in Mexico.
We didn't have the same impact.
Their impact was a little bitdifferent.
Ron Greenwald (30:53):
This all comes back to planning, it's true.
Obviously that's devastating.
It's hard to hear Again forpeople that can see the light at
the end of the tunnel, that youwere much of a victim, as your
mom was.
(31:14):
Now it all makes sense as toand I have to when you're
prosecuting some just rottenindividual, are you able to
forgive that person?
You have seen some incrediblestories.
Ivette Kuyateh (31:36):
Yes, I have.
I never really thought aboutthe forgiveness of that person
because that wasn't something Icould forgive.
Ron Greenwald (31:48):
It wasn't done to me, not to you.
Ivette Kuyateh (31:53):
But definitely, having the experience as a
victim, I could understand thevictims I was representing in an
entirely different way andunderstand the choices they made
or didn't make because of whatI had and my family had gone
through.
Ron Greenwald (32:12):
Well, as I said, who's ever listening?
If you're listening to this andyou are a past victim of
whatever abuse, whether it's aparent, a husband, a spouse, I
just encourage to reach out toyou as a voice.
I'm sure you would take theircall and talk to them.
(32:36):
Absolutely it sounds like interms of advocacy.
And then obviously, the plan,the estate plan, life plan I'll
call it life Marguerite Lorenz,who was a professional fiduciary
.
She empowered life, empowermentplanning, and she coined that
when she was on the podcast.
(32:56):
That's how I they may not havethat huge estate but they need a
life plan and when you have alife plan you can take that
first step forward.
And I am just really blown awayby your background, by your
advocacy, by where you have somany people fall into that dark
(33:20):
hole and never recover and thatyou have been able to find
Christianity and that you'vebeen able to then take that and
really improve people's lives.
So I mean, that's just thekudos to you and your firm.
Tell us a little bit more aboutthe firm and where you're going
.
Where are you going with thefirm?
Ivette Kuyateh (33:41):
Yeah, well, I will say we back up just a
minute to that because, you know, san Diego Lawyer Magazine
asked me this question.
It's like how do you, how doyou want people when they see
you, what do you want them toknow?
And I always say the same thing.
I want people to know that itwasn't me right, because my life
(34:05):
is literally a walking, livingtestimony of miracles after
miracles, after miracles.
We only have a short amount oftime today, right, but they,
when people meet me, I want themto know Jesus, I want them to
know that there is no other waythat this woman could be where
she's at, but for because of themiracles that God's done in her
(34:30):
life.
There's no way.
So I don't take credit, youknow.
Ron Greenwald (34:37):
I think it's a two-way street.
I think there's some, there'ssomeone.
You have to take the lead.
You have to follow, well, notfollow.
You have to take the lead andsay I'm going to be this person.
Ivette Kuyateh (34:51):
Yeah, you got to be willing for sure, you got to
be willing, yeah, definitely.
Ron Greenwald (34:55):
And so you know, as they say it's, it's aikudos.
So, yes, I understand whatyou're saying, but you have to
be something within you Now,whether it's Jesus, christianity
, but there's something alsowithin you, some kind of power
to say I can overcome and helpothers, and that you are going
to do that?
Ivette Kuyateh (35:16):
Yeah, but who puts it in there?
Ron Greenwald (35:17):
Who puts it in there?
Ivette Kuyateh (35:18):
Yeah, so we can just go back to the other side.
Ron Greenwald (35:21):
Yeah, I know, I know, I know it's a debate for
the ages, yeah, yeah, but but Ithink it's a fabulous story.
Ivette Kuyateh (35:28):
Thank you, good for you.
So, yeah, te La Group, where,where is it going?
Right, we're going into gosh,our fifth year, sixth year, yeah
, and you know they say whatdoes I say?
Like businesses fail withinwell, two, three to five.
You know you add in pandemic, Idon't know.
(35:50):
We're still around and we'regrowing and we're doing and
exciting stuff.
And so I'm going to always be avictim advocate because of where
I come from and what I do, andthat's my passion.
I'm going to always be doinglife planning and estate
planning because that is also apassion of making sure that
(36:12):
other families generationallydon't don't end up where minded,
you know, where dad leaves ahuge estate and the siblings are
a mess and the family is a messbecause stuff wasn't tightened
up.
Or the long term care planning.
Where I'm going next.
I'm currently studying for myown health, life and securities
(36:37):
licenses to also bring in thatfinancial services piece to my
clients individually, not onlyas their lawyer, but also as an
advisor, because I want I justsee time and time again they
number one.
There's this we'll say distrustsometimes with the Latino
(37:03):
community of financial advisors,of people that talk to them
about money, and I'm alreadythere, I'm already having those
conversations and they go well,can you do it?
I have another license, so I'mworking at that and I want to
bring on other lawyers that aredoing that, are passionate about
(37:23):
that as well, that are doingthe work, that understand.
You know what happens whenthere's no plan in place,
because we could put an estateplan together that's beautiful
on paper and the pages are niceand I give you this really
beautiful binder.
But if your retirements are,accounts are a mess, if you
don't have long term careinsurance prepared, if your
(37:46):
mortgage isn't going to be paidoff, if your kids aren't going
to be able to go to school, ifsomething happens to you, you
know I've failed.
I've failed you as your advisor, as a lawyer, and then I want
to be able to help my clients inthat aspect as well.
So we're growing in that and Iwant other lawyers to get in on
(38:08):
that because it is such a need.
Ron Greenwald (38:12):
And is that just the Hispanic community, but just
in general In general with theaging population, and so many
people are not taking the leadin getting their planning done.
It's the staggering numbers ofa whole dozen.
Ivette Kuyateh (38:27):
Yeah, I mean the baby boomers.
Right now they're retiring.
The transfer of money that'sabout to, that's happening
already, and then by 2030,that's gonna happen to women in
this country specifically is inthe millions, millions you know.
So are we prepared for thatRight do we have?
(38:48):
So we're living longer.
Our parents are living longer.
We're living longer.
There's a great problem untilyou're out living your money,
until we don't have socialsecurity to rely on, until
Medicaid sorry, until long-termcare wipes out my entire life
savings.
You know I have clients all thetime that tell me no, I'm good.
And I ask them what happens ifyou get dementia, if you get
(39:11):
Alzheimer's?
What's gonna happen?
Do you understand that it'sover $10,000 a month for a
nursing home that your daughterdoesn't have an extra 150K to
just pay for?
Do you know how quickly that'sgonna eat up your retirement
account?
Do you know how quickly that'sgonna eat up the equity in your
mortgage?
So what good is this beautifulbinder gonna do if I know that
(39:36):
I'm leaving you?
I'm sending you off with abunch of bullet holes in it.
Ron Greenwald (39:41):
Well said, how do we get ahold of you?
Let's get some.
How do we get ahold of?
Ivette Kuyateh (39:47):
you.
Ron Greenwald (39:48):
What's the best way?
Ivette Kuyateh (39:49):
Best way is the firm phone number, so that's
619-535-0066, or you can emailme directly.
Ron Greenwald (39:59):
And you email.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:00):
Yvette I-V-E-T-T-E at kuyatelagroupcom.
Ron Greenwald (40:06):
You can also follow me at Spell your last
name for the listening audienceK-U-Y-A-T-E-H.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:13):
Beautiful, thank you, and then you can follow me
on social media.
Ron Greenwald (40:17):
Yeah, yeah, you're very active, You're very
active, you're very active,You're very active.
Ivette Kuyateh (40:20):
I have videos up and I try to just do a lot of
education on all the things I'mpassionate about.
Ron Greenwald (40:28):
Well, I think there's certainly.
I think I'm gonna try to helpyou get out and speak more.
That's kind of now, havingtalked to you and met you in
person and having gone throughhaving done this podcast.
There's so much moreopportunity than we can.
Well, you'll be too busy, butit's really important that your
(40:48):
message is out there, one forwhat you overcame, that you went
through and how you overcamethat.
That should be your.
Where's the autobiography?
When is that coming out?
With the Money Book?
You put those two together.
You'll be on tour pretty soonin the New York Times
(41:09):
bestselling list because I thinkit's a very powerful story that
you are passionate in helpingthat sandwich generation.
We know how it's built.
That's just exploding in need.
So thank you so so much for,with toe issues and everything
(41:31):
Coming up here today and beingon the podcast, it's really that
very honored to be here.
I greatly admire your serviceto humanity.
I greatly admire your serviceto yourself as the number one
and to your family, and thankyou so much for being here.
Ivette Kuyateh (41:51):
Thank you so much, Ron.
I appreciate your invite andtaking the time to hear my
message.
And we're gonna give you a copywith the book, and that's
another thing is, if yourlisteners wanna get hooked up
with a book, they can call theoffice or they can shoot me an
email and I'll find a way to getthem a free copy of the book.
Ron Greenwald (42:15):
Perfect great way to end the podcast.
Thank you, Yvette.
Ivette Kuyateh (42:18):
Thank you, Ron.
Ron Greenwald (42:19):
Have a great day.
Ivette Kuyateh (42:20):
You too, bye, bye.
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