April 1, 2024 • 25 mins
When the golden years come knocking, some wait for the inevitable, while others, like sisters Marci and Kathy, seize them with both hands and a plan. Their journey to Scripps Glen, a senior retirement community in San Diego, is a testament to the power of proactive aging – a move that's not about winding down, but rather about gearing up for an active, autonomous life amidst community. Join us as we unravel their stories, where the roles of caregivers, their pivotal life moments, and their zeal for living fully are shared with warmth and wisdom.
Marcy's poise in the aftermath of her husband's passing and Kathy's strategic shift from the burdens of solo homeownership showcase a blueprint for embracing change with dignity. This episode is packed with practical insights – from the significance of legal preparedness to the sustenance of family unity during such transitions. Hear how Kathy, a former flight attendant and attorney, is now planning her travels from the comfort of her new base in the community, proving that a senior living community is not a full stop, but a comma on the journey of life. Their experiences illuminate the importance of making empowered choices for the future, preferably when one has the full capacity to do so, allowing for a chapter filled with vibrancy and self-determination.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ron Greenwald (00:27):
Welcome in.
My name is Ron Greenwald andthis is the Ron Greenwald
podcast.
This podcast is a lightning rodto help older adults navigate
that journey.
We speak with professionals.
We speak with older adultsthemselves to really understand
the nuances of aging and provideinformation, tips and really
(00:53):
great stories of how to properlyage in the most optimistic way
one can.
And today I am beyond thrilledto have two amazing guests who I
love in the door.
And Kathy, I just met yourecently and Marcy, we've known
each other.
(01:13):
It was the fall winter of 2022when we met.
So we have two amazing guests,marcy and Kathy, who happen to
be sisters living in thenorthern suburbs of San Diego,
who made a very proactive choice, not only to live in the same
(01:37):
community and to enjoy lifetogether, but to be proactive
and move to a senior retirementcommunity, which we call a
cruise ship in Dry Dog calledSripps Glen.
So I want them.
The purpose of today is toshare their proactive stories of
making that decision, becauseone doesn't wake up in the
(01:59):
morning and go.
You be, I am moving to a seniorretirement community.
It's a journey.
So, to start with, I'm going tolet them each introduce
themselves and please give alittle bit of background of who
and what you are, maybe whereyou were raised and how you got
to San Diego or where you werespent most of your time, and a
(02:22):
little bit about your career.
So, marcy, I'm going to startwith you, if that's okay, and
tell us a little bit ofbackground.
Marci (02:31):
You want a little bit about myself from the Midwest,
and when my husband decided hewanted to retire, we came out
here.
I had no idea that I'd be inthe situation that I was and
(02:54):
that he passed away in Septemberof 2020, and I realized with
the help of a wonderful worldtour.
Ron Greenwald (03:14):
Well, your husband passed away in 2020 and
2022.
Marci (03:19):
Yes, but he was your the caregiver for him for a number
of years, and something else Ithink that really helped me to
focus was that I had taken careof my mother for seven years and
(03:39):
I felt very badly because wewere making my sister and I were
making decisions for her.
She didn't have any autonomymaking those decisions.
I knew I didn't want that tohappen.
Ron Greenwald (04:02):
For yourself.
Marci (04:03):
For myself.
I do have two sons and severalgrandchildren, but again, all I
can say is I think this is lifeprolonging in a very positive
way.
Ron Greenwald (04:23):
So that goes a little deeper into that.
You're the caregiver for yourmom for a period of time.
You're making joint decisionson her behalf.
Was she living in San Diego orwas she elsewhere?
Marci (04:39):
She came to live with us in 2009 in Indiana.
Ron Greenwald (04:49):
So then, after she passes, you move to San
Diego with your husband.
He gets ill, you become thecaregiver.
So now you're a caregiver againfor your husband, and being a
caregiver for a spouse is thehardest job in the world.
Marci (05:08):
It is when you're trying to maintain a relationship,
regardless of their condition.
It's so different.
It's like I'm not on the mommy,I'm the nurse and sometimes
that relationship gets blurred.
(05:29):
But I tried to maintain hisdignity and I was totally
focused on him.
So when he passed, it was hot.
Kathy (05:50):
But you and your husband, before he passed, you made the
decision to come to thiscommunity Right.
Marci (06:01):
Now we had explored it, that we would come here together
, but unfortunately he passedaway before that could happen.
I know people will tell you,don't make a decision within a
year.
And I can understand that.
I did not wait that longbecause, again, I had explored,
(06:24):
my husband and I had thoroughlyexplored this place and I felt
like that's where I wanted to be.
Ron Greenwald (06:31):
So there was really no hesitation for you
after he passed and you had thattime to.
You know you didn't have a lotof time, but you took some time
to grieve, to make that decisionto move to the senior community
.
Marci (06:44):
That's correct, and I could imagine myself slowly
withdrawing from the world.
Yeah, I lived in a neighborhoodwhere people worked or they
were at school and I would haveto venture forth into the world,
(07:05):
and sometimes that's kind ofdaunting, and due to COVID and
my husband's illness, we reallydidn't have a chance to form a
community or be within acommunity, and so I felt very
alone when he passed, but I knewwhat I wanted.
Ron Greenwald (07:33):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
I think that's going to help alot of people make that decision
that there are options.
So, kathy, we met about a monthago for the first time, so I
want to hear a little bit aboutmore of your background and how
your journey progressed.
Kathy (07:51):
Well, I started out as an airline flight attendant and
was able to travel all over theworld and see that everybody, no
matter their race, their color,their creed, their nationality,
they all love and want to beloved.
They're the same all over theworld.
And then I became an attorneyand I was licensed to practice
(08:12):
in six jurisdictions and Iretired.
Well, anyway, my husband and Iwere living in Florida in a
community a golf coursecommunity and enjoying it.
But in 2019, he contactedcancer this road, so I became
(08:32):
his caregiver and, as Mercy said, you totally are into that and
you don't have much time foryourself.
But when he passed away there,I was all alone in a large house
, many bedrooms and bathrooms,and I had to take care of the
(08:55):
pool man, the person that mowedthe house, the roof lead, the
driveway needed, and I thought Ican't do this anymore without
my husband.
And four times during this lastyear, I flew out to San Diego to
visit my sister and I saw thiscommunity in which she was
(09:18):
living and I thought I kind oflike this and I was shown a two
bedroom, two bath unit with abalcony and I thought, oh, this
is beautiful, but they told meit was sold.
So I thought, well, maybe downthe down the road I will come
back to this place, but notright now.
I got a phone call in Novembersaying, well, you know that unit
(09:43):
that you really like.
I said well, yeah, but it'sbeen sold.
And they said no, the peoplehad to back out because they
were unable to sell their houseand so it's open.
I said mine.
So it was a very.
It was a decision made, a snapdecision, but I had been looking
at my friends who were in their70s and early 80s and some of
(10:07):
them passed away or had a strokeor something like that, which
deprived them of the choice asto what to come next, and I
thought I want to take control.
I want to come out here andmake this move now, the move
from Florida to San Diego,downsizing a house, getting rid
(10:30):
of everything, shipping the caracross country, etc.
Yes, it was a task, but I hadthe help of my realtor and I
can't tell you how much Idepended upon her.
Now I know that you recommendedher and when I had doubts and
was getting a little weepy, shecalled.
(10:52):
She said, oh, no big deal, andshe'd help me out, and so the
move was was very smooth, and Ifind living in a place like this
, rather than alone in a bighouse in the neighborhood where
everybody else is together andand there's no singles.
Here I have met so many peopleand they're all very warm and
(11:14):
welcoming, and I think thereason is in this community is
that we don't know how much timewe have left, so let's make the
most of it, let's have fun, andoh boy, do we have fun here.
There's something for everyoneand, as you say, it's like a
cruise ship that's never, neverleaves the dock.
So you don't get seasick.
(11:35):
But all the opportunities thatyou're disposal you can just sit
alone in your apartment, watchtv and love it, or you can
participate in the brewery.
Out of activities, there's a.
There's a movie theater hereand we go to the movies twice a
week at least.
There's a library that's so bigthat you really don't need a
(11:56):
San Diego library card.
There's a huge indoor swimmingpool with a retractable roof.
There's just everything youcould want.
And I can't tell you.
I've only been here now aboutthree months, but I am so happy
and I found friends and I wouldhope she would mention that
(12:19):
we're the only two in our familyleft.
Marci (12:22):
Yes, and for all our adult lives, we've been on
opposite ends of the country andwe've never had an opportunity
to live together, and I am sograteful that she made that
decision.
Ron Greenwald (12:38):
So you're kind of back in the dorm room at
college, but you guys don't livetogether.
You each have your own separateapartment.
Marci (12:45):
That's correct.
Kathy (12:49):
I can't tell you the opportunities that you have here
too, because this senior livingplace, it's, it's, it's not a
nursing home.
See, people seem to think thatsince you're in a CCRC, a
continuing care, retirementcommunity, you are in a nursing
home.
Wrong you are not.
(13:10):
Not not not, not not and excuseme, but the chair just left me.
Marci (13:18):
I'm sorry.
Ron Greenwald (13:20):
Marcy, let's talk a little bit about your journey
.
As I say, we met in, I think,november of 2022, around that
time when that's correct.
We got to refer you.
Somebody gave Michelle Lilly,gave us, gave you her, our name,
to come out and visit with youand again, for people that don't
(13:41):
know what Ron Greenwald does,ron Greenwald is a realtor by
day and I am totally passionateabout asking you a lot of
questions before you do make themove.
Marci (13:56):
That's correct.
Ron Greenwald (13:58):
Because moving is a pain in the you know what and
you have a lot of stuff, andour goal was to try to reduce
the stress as much as possible.
So I'd like you to take usthrough a little bit of that
journey that we work together on, to help people understand that
(14:20):
if you are a senior and you'velived in your home a long time
and you've accumulated a lot ofstuff, there are options for you
.
Marci (14:30):
Fortunately I was.
You were recommended to me and,I must say it, I couldn't
believe the ease, with yoursupport, finding the different
people who would come in.
(14:51):
I did have an estate sale, asyou said.
You have years worth of thingsthat you just absolutely can't
take, so you have to make thosedecisions and oh gee, ron, it
was a.
I couldn't have done it withoutall the help I had gotten, not
(15:17):
knowing that these servicesexisted and I could urge people.
When you look around and youthink, my god, I can't move, I
can't do this, you can, thereare options.
Ron Greenwald (15:34):
There are options to help you do the move.
And then one of the otherthings that is very important to
me is when I'm meeting withsomebody who's going through
this possible move or thinkingabout the move, I always like to
ask questions about the familydynamics and the if there is the
right trust, agreement in thetrust in place, because it's so
(15:58):
important.
My first question always is toan older adult and do you want
your kids to have Thanksgivingtogether after one passes away?
That's always my number onequestion and I always am very
adamant about let's make surethe dynamics are as best as they
(16:19):
can be, because there's a lotof things involved.
There's a lot of monetarythings involved, there's a lot
of capital involved in thesesituations and I just want to
get you know, help you getacross, allow you to get across
the people how important that isin this journey to move to a
senior community.
Marci (16:40):
Absolutely very important , the whole idea.
You know, mike, I have two sonsand they're in different parts
of the country and they wantedme to move close to either one.
I love my kids, but I love theCalifornia sunshine.
(17:06):
I had a little bit of pushback,but once they came around, in
fact, my son was just here withsome of his friends and they
were very impressed, very happythat mom really did make the
(17:26):
move, because when they cameinto the picture which was, they
were very thorough in checkingout everyone's credentials and I
was fortunate that I hadsomeone who could back up.
(17:48):
But it wasn't necessary right, Imean everything from the
documents that you have to sign.
I wish I could express myselfbetter on that.
Kathy (18:07):
Oh, I think you did very well yeah you did fantastic,
kathy.
Ron Greenwald (18:10):
You were a lawyer , you're a lawyer, not we're a
lawyer.
You are a lawyer, you're alwaysa lawyer.
What kind of law did youpractice?
Family law, oh.
Kathy (18:21):
Yeah, so I see a lot of the dynamics you experience and
it's a very emotionally drainingtype of occupation.
But I also, at the same time, Iresumed flying after law school
and I became the head of a teamof 10 recruiters and we
traveled all over the countryrecruiting flight attendants for
(18:44):
Pan Am.
But Pan Am went out of businessin 1991, and Delta Airlines,
since I spoke a couple offoreign languages, took me on.
So I was able to combine bothbeing an attorney, mainly
helping fellow flight attendantsand pilots in divorce
(19:06):
proceedings, and also flying toall over the world.
I was in all the continentsexcept for Antarctica, so I had
the great fortune to meet somany people.
But insofar as moving isconcerned, I was happy in
(19:30):
Florida, except for the weatherit was just too hot and humid.
But my only living relative ismy sister out in San Diego, and
if I hadn't gone to visit herthose four times before I made
the decision to move out here, Idon't think that I would have
(19:51):
done this, because my vision wasnursing home too.
I did not know until I came outto California what this CCRC
was, and it's definitely not anursing home.
But one of the best advantagesof this is that if you do become
incapacitated or you lose yourmemory, there's buildings right
(20:16):
on the premises of the 53 acreshere that you can go to.
That's amazing to me.
So this is probably going to bemy last residence, but I'm very
happy because everybody aroundme is eager to do everything and
welcoming, and this placesponsors excursions to the opera
(20:38):
, the library, everything.
I can't tell you how much I'menjoying life here.
Ron Greenwald (20:46):
Well, you are glowing over it, you're glowing
on this, and you can see both ofthem.
Kathy (20:50):
Oh, I am, I really am, it's just yeah.
Ron Greenwald (20:53):
And the transition is actually people go
well then I'm going to be in aconfined area and that's not the
truth, because actually youguys have a trip plan to Europe.
We don't have to go into thedetails of all that, but so
you're not just staying in thesenior community, you have a
trip plan to Europe and then youhave a cruise.
So really this is your holdingspot while you get to enjoy your
(21:17):
life.
Kathy (21:19):
Oh, very definitely, Very definitely yes.
Ron Greenwald (21:22):
Oh, that's fantastic.
We want to conclude this bysustained thank you so much.
I know, marcy, we are filmingthis in the morning, and I knew
better than that Because we'veknown each other a while now and
I know morning was not yourfavorite thing in the world, but
(21:43):
I just can't thank you enoughfor getting up and out and
allowing us to do this podcast.
It's really the intent.
Everybody lives in San Diego,not everybody can be at Scripps
Glen we get that but there areopportunities and really the
message is explore why you havecapacity.
Marci (22:08):
Exactly, exactly.
We can't stress that enough.
Don't wait.
Ron Greenwald (22:14):
And don't let your like you said, you don't
want your children making thosedecisions for you, and you want
to have an updated trust.
You want to have an updatedpower of attorney for health
care.
Get your life together.
Unfortunately, not every.
We don't live forever, butenjoy it while you have the
(22:35):
capacity to make great decisions.
So I'm going to give you alittle bit.
Give you last I didn't stressthat enough.
Marci (22:43):
I'm sorry, Greg.
Ron Greenwald (22:43):
No, no.
I'm going to ask you just lastword on what's going on over
there today at Scripps Glen, andthen we'll say goodbye.
Kathy (22:54):
OK, oh, there's a lot going on here today.
There is, well, I'm going to aclass Zumba Gold, and after that
there's an animated movie frombeing given by the movie club,
and it's the 1,001 Dalmatians.
And then there's a talk on thespaceship, and then the shuttle
(23:20):
yes, and then there's a talk onhow to reconcile being here but
then having to move to assistedliving.
So there's just so much to do.
Marci (23:35):
And if you don't want to do anything, you can also do
that.
Kathy (23:40):
Read a book in the library by the fireplace.
Ron Greenwald (23:43):
Well, please give everybody there a hug for me.
You know Michelle is a very,very dear friend, yes and well,
and I can't thank her enough forintroducing me to Marcy and
Katie, my associate, as well.
We love you both.
We thank you for just beingjust spokespeople, for being
(24:04):
proactive, not falling into thatdepressed state where you stay
in your home too long and thensomeone else is making all your
decisions for you.
Kathy (24:14):
Plus, you've become the little old lady down the street.
Ron Greenwald (24:18):
You're no longer yeah.
You too are anything but littleold ladies down the street.
So I'm going to give you a hugand we're going to have to sign
off, thank you.
Thank you so much for joiningus today and thank you for your
patience and all the technology,and just give everybody there
my hugs.
Marci (24:38):
We sure will.
It's a pleasure.
Ron Greenwald (24:40):
Thank you, be well, be safe.
Kathy (24:41):
And hello to Katie King, marie too.
Ron Greenwald (24:43):
Thank you.
Marci (24:44):
Bye-bye, bye, bye.
Ron Greenwald (24:48):
This is Ron Greenwald.
I thank you for tuning in todayto the Ron Greenwald podcast.
Please go toGreenwaldRealityTeamcom.
Call us, email us with any ofyour questions or comments.
If you're the daughter or sonand you're concerned about mom
and dad, or you're the agingadult, we have the resources.
(25:09):
If you're a professional, anattorney, a wealth manager, a
caregiver, we also can provideyou resources.
That may really be that turningpoint to provide that senior
with the next chapter in theirlife.
That's very positive.
I thank you for tuning in RonGreenwald, the Ron Greenwald
podcast.
Thank you.
Welcome in.
My name is Ron Greenwald andthis is the Ron Greenwald
podcast.
This podcast is a lightning rodto help older adults navigate
that journey.
We speak with professionals.
We speak with older adultsthemselves to really understand
the nuances of aging and provideinformation, tips and really
(00:53):
great stories of how to properlyage in the most optimistic way
one can.
And today I am beyond thrilledto have two amazing guests who I
love in the door.
And Kathy, I just met yourecently and Marcy, we've known
each other.
(01:13):
It was the fall winter of 2022when we met.
So we have two amazing guests,marcy and Kathy, who happen to
be sisters living in thenorthern suburbs of San Diego,
who made a very proactive choice, not only to live in the same
(01:37):
community and to enjoy lifetogether, but to be proactive
and move to a senior retirementcommunity, which we call a
cruise ship in Dry Dog calledSripps Glen.
So I want them.
The purpose of today is toshare their proactive stories of
making that decision, becauseone doesn't wake up in the
(01:59):
morning and go.
You be, I am moving to a seniorretirement community.
It's a journey.
So, to start with, I'm going tolet them each introduce
themselves and please give alittle bit of background of who
and what you are, maybe whereyou were raised and how you got
to San Diego or where you werespent most of your time, and a
(02:22):
little bit about your career.
So, marcy, I'm going to startwith you, if that's okay, and
tell us a little bit ofbackground.
Marci (02:31):
You want a little bit about myself from the Midwest,
and when my husband decided hewanted to retire, we came out
here.
I had no idea that I'd be inthe situation that I was and
(02:54):
that he passed away in Septemberof 2020, and I realized with
the help of a wonderful worldtour.
Ron Greenwald (03:14):
Well, your husband passed away in 2020 and
2022.
Marci (03:19):
Yes, but he was your the caregiver for him for a number
of years, and something else Ithink that really helped me to
focus was that I had taken careof my mother for seven years and
(03:39):
I felt very badly because wewere making my sister and I were
making decisions for her.
She didn't have any autonomymaking those decisions.
I knew I didn't want that tohappen.
Ron Greenwald (04:02):
For yourself.
Marci (04:03):
For myself.
I do have two sons and severalgrandchildren, but again, all I
can say is I think this is lifeprolonging in a very positive
way.
Ron Greenwald (04:23):
So that goes a little deeper into that.
You're the caregiver for yourmom for a period of time.
You're making joint decisionson her behalf.
Was she living in San Diego orwas she elsewhere?
Marci (04:39):
She came to live with us in 2009 in Indiana.
Ron Greenwald (04:49):
So then, after she passes, you move to San
Diego with your husband.
He gets ill, you become thecaregiver.
So now you're a caregiver againfor your husband, and being a
caregiver for a spouse is thehardest job in the world.
Marci (05:08):
It is when you're trying to maintain a relationship,
regardless of their condition.
It's so different.
It's like I'm not on the mommy,I'm the nurse and sometimes
that relationship gets blurred.
(05:29):
But I tried to maintain hisdignity and I was totally
focused on him.
So when he passed, it was hot.
Kathy (05:50):
But you and your husband, before he passed, you made the
decision to come to thiscommunity Right.
Marci (06:01):
Now we had explored it, that we would come here together
, but unfortunately he passedaway before that could happen.
I know people will tell you,don't make a decision within a
year.
And I can understand that.
I did not wait that longbecause, again, I had explored,
(06:24):
my husband and I had thoroughlyexplored this place and I felt
like that's where I wanted to be.
Ron Greenwald (06:31):
So there was really no hesitation for you
after he passed and you had thattime to.
You know you didn't have a lotof time, but you took some time
to grieve, to make that decisionto move to the senior community
.
Marci (06:44):
That's correct, and I could imagine myself slowly
withdrawing from the world.
Yeah, I lived in a neighborhoodwhere people worked or they
were at school and I would haveto venture forth into the world,
(07:05):
and sometimes that's kind ofdaunting, and due to COVID and
my husband's illness, we reallydidn't have a chance to form a
community or be within acommunity, and so I felt very
alone when he passed, but I knewwhat I wanted.
Ron Greenwald (07:33):
Well, thank you for sharing that.
I think that's going to help alot of people make that decision
that there are options.
So, kathy, we met about a monthago for the first time, so I
want to hear a little bit aboutmore of your background and how
your journey progressed.
Kathy (07:51):
Well, I started out as an airline flight attendant and
was able to travel all over theworld and see that everybody, no
matter their race, their color,their creed, their nationality,
they all love and want to beloved.
They're the same all over theworld.
And then I became an attorneyand I was licensed to practice
(08:12):
in six jurisdictions and Iretired.
Well, anyway, my husband and Iwere living in Florida in a
community a golf coursecommunity and enjoying it.
But in 2019, he contactedcancer this road, so I became
(08:32):
his caregiver and, as Mercy said, you totally are into that and
you don't have much time foryourself.
But when he passed away there,I was all alone in a large house
, many bedrooms and bathrooms,and I had to take care of the
(08:55):
pool man, the person that mowedthe house, the roof lead, the
driveway needed, and I thought Ican't do this anymore without
my husband.
And four times during this lastyear, I flew out to San Diego to
visit my sister and I saw thiscommunity in which she was
(09:18):
living and I thought I kind oflike this and I was shown a two
bedroom, two bath unit with abalcony and I thought, oh, this
is beautiful, but they told meit was sold.
So I thought, well, maybe downthe down the road I will come
back to this place, but notright now.
I got a phone call in Novembersaying, well, you know that unit
(09:43):
that you really like.
I said well, yeah, but it'sbeen sold.
And they said no, the peoplehad to back out because they
were unable to sell their houseand so it's open.
I said mine.
So it was a very.
It was a decision made, a snapdecision, but I had been looking
at my friends who were in their70s and early 80s and some of
(10:07):
them passed away or had a strokeor something like that, which
deprived them of the choice asto what to come next, and I
thought I want to take control.
I want to come out here andmake this move now, the move
from Florida to San Diego,downsizing a house, getting rid
(10:30):
of everything, shipping the caracross country, etc.
Yes, it was a task, but I hadthe help of my realtor and I
can't tell you how much Idepended upon her.
Now I know that you recommendedher and when I had doubts and
was getting a little weepy, shecalled.
(10:52):
She said, oh, no big deal, andshe'd help me out, and so the
move was was very smooth, and Ifind living in a place like this
, rather than alone in a bighouse in the neighborhood where
everybody else is together andand there's no singles.
Here I have met so many peopleand they're all very warm and
(11:14):
welcoming, and I think thereason is in this community is
that we don't know how much timewe have left, so let's make the
most of it, let's have fun, andoh boy, do we have fun here.
There's something for everyoneand, as you say, it's like a
cruise ship that's never, neverleaves the dock.
So you don't get seasick.
(11:35):
But all the opportunities thatyou're disposal you can just sit
alone in your apartment, watchtv and love it, or you can
participate in the brewery.
Out of activities, there's a.
There's a movie theater hereand we go to the movies twice a
week at least.
There's a library that's so bigthat you really don't need a
(11:56):
San Diego library card.
There's a huge indoor swimmingpool with a retractable roof.
There's just everything youcould want.
And I can't tell you.
I've only been here now aboutthree months, but I am so happy
and I found friends and I wouldhope she would mention that
(12:19):
we're the only two in our familyleft.
Marci (12:22):
Yes, and for all our adult lives, we've been on
opposite ends of the country andwe've never had an opportunity
to live together, and I am sograteful that she made that
decision.
Ron Greenwald (12:38):
So you're kind of back in the dorm room at
college, but you guys don't livetogether.
You each have your own separateapartment.
Marci (12:45):
That's correct.
Kathy (12:49):
I can't tell you the opportunities that you have here
too, because this senior livingplace, it's, it's, it's not a
nursing home.
See, people seem to think thatsince you're in a CCRC, a
continuing care, retirementcommunity, you are in a nursing
home.
Wrong you are not.
(13:10):
Not not not, not not and excuseme, but the chair just left me.
Marci (13:18):
I'm sorry.
Ron Greenwald (13:20):
Marcy, let's talk a little bit about your journey
.
As I say, we met in, I think,november of 2022, around that
time when that's correct.
We got to refer you.
Somebody gave Michelle Lilly,gave us, gave you her, our name,
to come out and visit with youand again, for people that don't
(13:41):
know what Ron Greenwald does,ron Greenwald is a realtor by
day and I am totally passionateabout asking you a lot of
questions before you do make themove.
Marci (13:56):
That's correct.
Ron Greenwald (13:58):
Because moving is a pain in the you know what and
you have a lot of stuff, andour goal was to try to reduce
the stress as much as possible.
So I'd like you to take usthrough a little bit of that
journey that we work together on, to help people understand that
(14:20):
if you are a senior and you'velived in your home a long time
and you've accumulated a lot ofstuff, there are options for you
.
Marci (14:30):
Fortunately I was.
You were recommended to me and,I must say it, I couldn't
believe the ease, with yoursupport, finding the different
people who would come in.
(14:51):
I did have an estate sale, asyou said.
You have years worth of thingsthat you just absolutely can't
take, so you have to make thosedecisions and oh gee, ron, it
was a.
I couldn't have done it withoutall the help I had gotten, not
(15:17):
knowing that these servicesexisted and I could urge people.
When you look around and youthink, my god, I can't move, I
can't do this, you can, thereare options.
Ron Greenwald (15:34):
There are options to help you do the move.
And then one of the otherthings that is very important to
me is when I'm meeting withsomebody who's going through
this possible move or thinkingabout the move, I always like to
ask questions about the familydynamics and the if there is the
right trust, agreement in thetrust in place, because it's so
(15:58):
important.
My first question always is toan older adult and do you want
your kids to have Thanksgivingtogether after one passes away?
That's always my number onequestion and I always am very
adamant about let's make surethe dynamics are as best as they
(16:19):
can be, because there's a lotof things involved.
There's a lot of monetarythings involved, there's a lot
of capital involved in thesesituations and I just want to
get you know, help you getacross, allow you to get across
the people how important that isin this journey to move to a
senior community.
Marci (16:40):
Absolutely very important , the whole idea.
You know, mike, I have two sonsand they're in different parts
of the country and they wantedme to move close to either one.
I love my kids, but I love theCalifornia sunshine.
(17:06):
I had a little bit of pushback,but once they came around, in
fact, my son was just here withsome of his friends and they
were very impressed, very happythat mom really did make the
(17:26):
move, because when they cameinto the picture which was, they
were very thorough in checkingout everyone's credentials and I
was fortunate that I hadsomeone who could back up.
(17:48):
But it wasn't necessary right, Imean everything from the
documents that you have to sign.
I wish I could express myselfbetter on that.
Kathy (18:07):
Oh, I think you did very well yeah you did fantastic,
kathy.
Ron Greenwald (18:10):
You were a lawyer , you're a lawyer, not we're a
lawyer.
You are a lawyer, you're alwaysa lawyer.
What kind of law did youpractice?
Family law, oh.
Kathy (18:21):
Yeah, so I see a lot of the dynamics you experience and
it's a very emotionally drainingtype of occupation.
But I also, at the same time, Iresumed flying after law school
and I became the head of a teamof 10 recruiters and we
traveled all over the countryrecruiting flight attendants for
(18:44):
Pan Am.
But Pan Am went out of businessin 1991, and Delta Airlines,
since I spoke a couple offoreign languages, took me on.
So I was able to combine bothbeing an attorney, mainly
helping fellow flight attendantsand pilots in divorce
(19:06):
proceedings, and also flying toall over the world.
I was in all the continentsexcept for Antarctica, so I had
the great fortune to meet somany people.
But insofar as moving isconcerned, I was happy in
(19:30):
Florida, except for the weatherit was just too hot and humid.
But my only living relative ismy sister out in San Diego, and
if I hadn't gone to visit herthose four times before I made
the decision to move out here, Idon't think that I would have
(19:51):
done this, because my vision wasnursing home too.
I did not know until I came outto California what this CCRC
was, and it's definitely not anursing home.
But one of the best advantagesof this is that if you do become
incapacitated or you lose yourmemory, there's buildings right
(20:16):
on the premises of the 53 acreshere that you can go to.
That's amazing to me.
So this is probably going to bemy last residence, but I'm very
happy because everybody aroundme is eager to do everything and
welcoming, and this placesponsors excursions to the opera
(20:38):
, the library, everything.
I can't tell you how much I'menjoying life here.
Ron Greenwald (20:46):
Well, you are glowing over it, you're glowing
on this, and you can see both ofthem.
Kathy (20:50):
Oh, I am, I really am, it's just yeah.
Ron Greenwald (20:53):
And the transition is actually people go
well then I'm going to be in aconfined area and that's not the
truth, because actually youguys have a trip plan to Europe.
We don't have to go into thedetails of all that, but so
you're not just staying in thesenior community, you have a
trip plan to Europe and then youhave a cruise.
So really this is your holdingspot while you get to enjoy your
(21:17):
life.
Kathy (21:19):
Oh, very definitely, Very definitely yes.
Ron Greenwald (21:22):
Oh, that's fantastic.
We want to conclude this bysustained thank you so much.
I know, marcy, we are filmingthis in the morning, and I knew
better than that Because we'veknown each other a while now and
I know morning was not yourfavorite thing in the world, but
(21:43):
I just can't thank you enoughfor getting up and out and
allowing us to do this podcast.
It's really the intent.
Everybody lives in San Diego,not everybody can be at Scripps
Glen we get that but there areopportunities and really the
message is explore why you havecapacity.
Marci (22:08):
Exactly, exactly.
We can't stress that enough.
Don't wait.
Ron Greenwald (22:14):
And don't let your like you said, you don't
want your children making thosedecisions for you, and you want
to have an updated trust.
You want to have an updatedpower of attorney for health
care.
Get your life together.
Unfortunately, not every.
We don't live forever, butenjoy it while you have the
(22:35):
capacity to make great decisions.
So I'm going to give you alittle bit.
Give you last I didn't stressthat enough.
Marci (22:43):
I'm sorry, Greg.
Ron Greenwald (22:43):
No, no.
I'm going to ask you just lastword on what's going on over
there today at Scripps Glen, andthen we'll say goodbye.
Kathy (22:54):
OK, oh, there's a lot going on here today.
There is, well, I'm going to aclass Zumba Gold, and after that
there's an animated movie frombeing given by the movie club,
and it's the 1,001 Dalmatians.
And then there's a talk on thespaceship, and then the shuttle
(23:20):
yes, and then there's a talk onhow to reconcile being here but
then having to move to assistedliving.
So there's just so much to do.
Marci (23:35):
And if you don't want to do anything, you can also do
that.
Kathy (23:40):
Read a book in the library by the fireplace.
Ron Greenwald (23:43):
Well, please give everybody there a hug for me.
You know Michelle is a very,very dear friend, yes and well,
and I can't thank her enough forintroducing me to Marcy and
Katie, my associate, as well.
We love you both.
We thank you for just beingjust spokespeople, for being
(24:04):
proactive, not falling into thatdepressed state where you stay
in your home too long and thensomeone else is making all your
decisions for you.
Kathy (24:14):
Plus, you've become the little old lady down the street.
Ron Greenwald (24:18):
You're no longer yeah.
You too are anything but littleold ladies down the street.
So I'm going to give you a hugand we're going to have to sign
off, thank you.
Thank you so much for joiningus today and thank you for your
patience and all the technology,and just give everybody there
my hugs.
Marci (24:38):
We sure will.
It's a pleasure.
Ron Greenwald (24:40):
Thank you, be well, be safe.
Kathy (24:41):
And hello to Katie King, marie too.
Ron Greenwald (24:43):
Thank you.
Marci (24:44):
Bye-bye, bye, bye.
Ron Greenwald (24:48):
This is Ron Greenwald.
I thank you for tuning in todayto the Ron Greenwald podcast.
Please go toGreenwaldRealityTeamcom.
Call us, email us with any ofyour questions or comments.
If you're the daughter or sonand you're concerned about mom
and dad, or you're the agingadult, we have the resources.
(25:09):
If you're a professional, anattorney, a wealth manager, a
caregiver, we also can provideyou resources.
That may really be that turningpoint to provide that senior
with the next chapter in theirlife.
That's very positive.
I thank you for tuning in RonGreenwald, the Ron Greenwald
podcast.
Thank you.
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