POISON Remastered - We put the "fun" back in "functional renal failure"

Turning Your TTRPG Into a Chemically Enhanced Nightmare (for the Players, Not the GM)

Missed an episode? Accidentally ingested a memory-erasing toxin? No worries! Archived episodes of the RPGBOT.Podcast are now available on YouTube. Binge the banter, savor the strategy, and relive every rules argument—now with video thumbnails.

Show Notes
Welcome to the episode where the RPGBOT.Podcast crew rolls a Constitution save against bad design decisions and fails—deliberately. In this delightfully dangerous deep dive, Tyler Kamstra, Randall James, and Ash Ely explore one of the most tragically underused tools in the Game Master’s arsenal: poison. Not the “ha ha, you take 1d4 damage and feel kind of bad” kind—no, we’re talking the really nasty stuff. The stuff that makes players sweat, forget what color their dice are, and suddenly develop a deep appreciation for the paladin’s aura of protection.

Join the crew as they:

• Dissect why poison is so often mechanically boring despite being conceptually metal.
• Share hilarious war stories about poorly-timed venomous traps and failed fortitude saves.
• Explore how different TTRPG systems handle poison: from D&D’s "mild inconvenience" to Pathfinder’s "goodbye, pancreas."
• Offer deliciously evil advice for GMs looking to flavor their campaigns with a little more toxic attitude.
• Brainstorm better mechanics for poisons that do more than just slap a couple HP off your barbarian and call it a day.
• Create fictional poisons on the fly—some of which should never be spoken of again. Looking at you, Ash’s Spiteful Slime Surprise.
• Debate whether ingesting a cursed Hot Pocket counts as a magical poison effect (spoiler: it does, and it bypasses resistance).

Key Takeaways:

• D&D poison mechanics are weaker than a kobold’s slap fight. It’s time for GMs to spice things up with custom creations.
• Pathfinder 2e offers a better structure, but still leaves room for homebrewed horrors.
• Poisons should be scary, situational, and strategic. They can shape encounters, plotlines, and even the economy.
• "Save or suck" poison effects? Lazy. Instead, give toxins progressive effects or interactable consequences.
• Players love meaningful danger. If your rogue wants to coat their dagger in acid-laced possum venom, let them—then make them regret it just a little.
• GM tip: If the party stops eating anything in-game, congratulations. You’ve weaponized cuisine.
• Bonus insight: Nothing ruins a tavern meal like realizing the stew is a dexterity check away from cardiac arrest.

Call to Action:
Feeling inspired to poison your friends in the most entertaining and legally safe way possible? Subscribe to the RPGBOT.Podcast wherever you listen, and check out our archives now on YouTube. Share the show, leave a review, and let us know your favorite toxin-laced TTRPG tales. Because nothing says “game night” like a little slow-acting doom in your fantasy casserole.

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