June 2, 2025 • 24 mins
Ever find yourself crying over table linens or second-guessing every wedding decision you make? You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy.
In this heartfelt episode of The Snagged Podcast, Sarah Lizabeth breaks down why wedding planning feels so incredibly personal. Spoiler: it’s not just about choosing flowers or timelines. It’s about identity, relationships, pressure, and everything that lives under the surface.
We’re talking:
-
Why wedding planning triggers deep emotions
-
How “performance pressure” steals your peace
-
The identity shift that no one prepares you for
-
How to reset your mindset and get back to what actually matters
If you’ve ever felt like planning your wedding is more emotional than you expected, this episode is your permission to breathe, refocus, and protect your peace.
💍 Want support that actually gets you? Try The Bride Bot at TheBrideBot.com
📝 Subscribe, rate, and share this with a fellow bride-to-be!
💍 Ready to take the stress out of wedding planning?
🎓 Join Sarah’s FREE class: Wedding Planning 101 – How to Start, Simplify & Effortlessly Plan a Dream Wedding 👉 Save your seat here
✨ Explore the full planning system in: 💍 The Wedding Planning Process Masterclass
📋 Download the Wedding Planning Checklist, Timeline & Vendor Scripts: 👉 Get your tools at WedPlanPro.com
📸 Follow along for tips & inspo:
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🎙️ Catch more episodes of The Snagged Podcast on the blog or wherever you listen.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
welcome to the snagged podcast
where wedding planning meets real life
real lessons and a whole lot of unexpected snags
I'm Sarah Lizabeth
a wedding planner and storyteller who has seen it all
from dream weddings
to the beautiful mess that is love and marriage
here
I don't just talk about planning the perfect wedding
(00:23):
I talk about the snags the mistakes
the mishaps
and the moments that taught me the biggest lessons
because let's be real life
love and marriage are never as perfect as we planned
but that's what makes them worth talking about
so whether you're knee deep in wedding planning
navigating marriage or just love
(00:45):
a good story about lessons Learned the hard way
this is your place to feel normal
so grab your coffee or your wine
I don't judge and take a deep breath and let's connect
because sometimes the best stories start with a snag
(01:06):
hey snagsters and welcome back to the snagged podcast
the show where we talk all things wedding planning
the good the stressful
the real I'm your host Sarah Lizabeth
wedding planner educator
former bride twice
and your go to girl for turning chaos into clarity
(01:26):
today we're gonna talk about something I know you felt
even if you haven't been able to name it
why wedding planning feels so personal
like painfully personal like crying in your car
second guessing everything
why is this so hard kind of personal
(01:49):
and here's the thing
it's not just because you care about your wedding
it's because of everything else underneath it
so let's start here a wedding is not just a party
yes it's beautiful
yes it's full of flowers and outfits and first dances
(02:09):
but it's also a public expression of a very private
relationship you know
everyone shows the good stuff on social media
and relationships are private
and we don't often share all the details
so it's a very public
expression of something that is private
(02:31):
it's also a merging of families
of your stories of your values and your cultures
it's a line in the sand
between the life that you have known
and the one that you're building
I literally
just had a conversation with one of my teenagers
who was having relationship issues
(02:51):
and in her heart of hearts
like this person at such a young age was her person
and as her mother I'm sitting there looking at her
and I'm trying to be loving and
and give her encouragement
but I just wanna say oh
you know honey
there's so much more to live out there
(03:12):
so finding that person
it's like the former life that you lived
and now the life that you're building together
and when something carries that much meaning
it's no wonder why emotions run high
that's why the tiniest decisions
whether it's the first look
(03:33):
or what kind of cake you wanna serve
it suddenly feels like a referendum of who you are
because you're not just picking details
you're defining a moment in your story
let's talk about something I call performance pressure
this shows up
when you start to feel like your wedding is a show
(03:54):
and you're starring in it
but everyone else is directing
like does that make sense here
can you can you agree with me that
you know this is about you
but why does it feel like everyone else
is directing the story
you hear things like you have to do a receiving line
(04:16):
or at your cousin's wedding
they had a choreographed first dance
or you're not doing a bouquet toss
I will never forget working with one of my past clients
whom I love and adore
and every single meeting we would have
we would sit there
and she and I would be talking about something
(04:39):
and her mom would interject about how
oh well
so and so did this at their wedding
and oh
that'd be nice but have you thought about doing this
or my favorite is when you see something on TikTok
and you wanna do it or on Pinterest
and you wanna do it without any sort of
(04:59):
understanding of what it took to do that
or that
maybe that was just a TikTok video or a Instagram reel
it wasn't real life it wasn't real weddings
and you know
just that pressure
and I remember sitting in that meeting
time and time again you know
my left eye going to the bride
my right eye going to the mom and just saying I'm
(05:22):
I'm gonna have to intercede here in just a minute
because this is not about
your friend that once did this at a wedding
or your cousin who had a first dance or not
so all of a sudden you're planning your dream day
and you're managing all of these expectations
you're avoiding judgment and walking on eggshells
(05:43):
does that sound familiar
because performance pressure whispers
if it's not perfect
you have failed and that my friends
that is a lie that is a lie
because your wedding is not a performance
it's a promise
(06:04):
it's a promise to spend the rest of your life
like after your wedding is done
the lights are turned off the tables are cleaned up
the guests have left and you begin your life
which will have real life things
I've worked with so many clients and you know
(06:25):
I watch them as I'm still connected with them
either via social media or
or I run into them places and I see I
I just ran into a client at the grocery store
you know and they're they're living life
they're they were shopping
and they had three kids
climbing in and out of the cart
in the buggy and I looked at them and I just said
(06:48):
this was what it was all about like
you might be really frustrated
that your kids are hopping in and out of the buggy
right now and pulling things down off the cart
I mean I know my kids are really good at doing that
when I get to the register and
and there's all these things in the cart
that I didn't anticipate paying for
and the thing is is in that moment when they
(07:09):
as parents were so frustrated with their kid
jumping in and out of the buggy
I just looked at them and I said
this is why we did what we did
and this is what it's all about
and you know that's the promise that we're planning for
we're planning for that promise
that
when you can stand next to somebody in a grocery store
and you can you know
(07:31):
go through life together
with your kids bouncing in and out of the cart and
you know you go through trials and you go through um
hard times in life as life is so very hard
it's that promise that you're planning for
it's that future that you're planning for
it's not the day the day can be beautiful and wonderful
(07:55):
but as long as we
continue to have perspective on the promise
that makes wedding planning so much easier
now here's where it gets a little deep
for a lot of brides
wedding planning triggers an identity shift
does anyone understand what I'm talking about here
you know you're asking questions like
what kind of partner am I gonna be
(08:17):
what do I value do I want to take my partner's name
do I want to have children
what traditions matter to me
and for those questions they
those are not small questions
for someone to be thinking about and feeling
so when someone challenges your decision
(08:38):
whether it be you wanna wear black
or you wanna skip religious rituals
or you want to walk yourself down the aisle
it doesn't feel like casual feedback
it feels like a challenge to who you are as a person
and so that's why boundaries are so hard
(08:58):
and that's why group texts are tense
and that's why you're crying over napkin colors
it's not the napkin haha
it's you want to be seen and you want to be respected
and that's really what it's all about I always
always come across clients who
(09:21):
who fall into certain situations
along the way that are tense and stressful situations
and I let them you know
go through that and I let them kind of talk it out
I guess you can say
around my table as we're planning their wedding
but really I look at them after they've talked it out
and I've given them some time to talk and
(09:42):
and figure it out and and I say
why do you want dusty blue napkins
and I don't really care why the client wants
dusty blue napkins it's their wedding
it's not mine so I don't care what they want
but I want to name it and I want to say
why is that triggering all of that in you
(10:04):
and I can guarantee you
as you walk through this process
and as you walk through this journey
you will have moments where you will be in what I call
tense tense times and um
you know those tense feelings that you get around
anything that involves emotion
(10:25):
I always tell my kids
no good decision comes from high emotion and
and you can't make good decisions
even if it's a napkin color
if there's high emotion
but there's always a root to why
why is that so trigger triggering
and when you can get to the bottom of that
(10:45):
it makes picking the napkins very easy
oh I understand
I understand that that particular color
brings back a memory from your childhood
okay I see you
I hear you and that's really what
all of those frustrating moments are all about
being seen and being respected
hey snagster
quick pause if you are listening to this and thinking
(11:08):
okay Sarah
but where do I even start with planning my wedding
I have got something just for you
I created a totally free class called Wedding Planning
101
how to start
simplify and effortlessly plan a dream wedding
because I've been where you are overwhelmed
not sure of what comes first
(11:28):
and already second guessing every decision
in this class I'll walk you through the top 3
wedding planning mistakes
and how they're secretly stressing you out
the truth about wedding planning
that the big wedding planning websites
don't want you to know and my simple
proven 4 step process that helps you save time
(11:50):
reduce overwhelm
and confidently break down your wedding budget
and if you're ready to seriously
level up your planning game
check out my signature course
The Wedding Planning Process Masterclass
it's the full step by step system
I've used for over 20 years to help couples plan calm
meaningful weddings without the chaos
(12:13):
think of it as
having me as your personal wedding planner
at a fraction of the cost
head to Wed Plan pro.com for tools
freebies and planning resources I made just for you
alright let's get back to the episode
okay take a deep breath
let's talk about what to do
(12:34):
when wedding planning starts to feel way too personal
and too overwhelming
here's a little clarity reset I walk my clients through
and I wanna talk with you about today
so step 1 reconnect with the why
that's very important
ask yourself what do I want this day to feel like
(12:55):
not just look like that's your compass
reconnect to why
ask yourself why are we planning this wedding
you fell in love you are together with
the person that you're gonna
spend the rest of your life with
and focusing on
that will always help you through your process
(13:18):
as long as you can remember why you're doing this
if there's ever a tense moment in one of my
planning meetings with a client
I do look at them and I'm just like
hey guys let's let's
let's remember why we're doing this here
and it diffuses the situation and um
and we really do get to talk through
(13:40):
why we're doing this and then it
you know it makes
the decisions that they have to make so much easier
because we can get stuck in our head like
we've got to have this we've got to have that
we've got to have this we've got to that and honestly
it's just so much noise it's so much noise
and so when you can go back
and you can really get to the why
(14:01):
of why we're planning your wedding
that is your true north to always be focused on
step 2 get honest with what really matters the most
I want you to pick those top three wedding priorities
just three maybe five
I say three to five but keep the list short
(14:23):
because this becomes your filter
for every other decision
if it doesn't align with those top priorities
it's a no I love my wedding vendors
I love them and adore them
but they are amazing sales people
and their job is to upsell you on literally everything
(14:46):
and make you feel like your wedding
is going to be a disaster
if you do not up upgrade to this
or if you do not do this y'all
please just focus on what really matters most
so that you do not get caught in the upcharge mess
that's out there because you don't really need that
(15:06):
you know
working with clients all the time they would say oh
but should we do this and should we do this
and I'm like you know what
let's let's focus on the real picture
the big picture here
let's step back a little bit and really know if
you know
upgrading the chairs is worth $2,500
if we're crunching numbers in the budget
(15:28):
or we're trying to be resourceful
with the money that we have been given
you know
are people going to remember what kind of chair
they sat in is that big picture for me
probably not so
you know always making sure that you know
and unless
upgraded chairs is one of your top 3 to fives
then do the upgraded chairs
(15:49):
you know and and cut back on something else
but if it doesn't align with your priorities
it's a no step 3 is set boundaries with compassion
when someone pushes back you can say I totally hear you
we've put a lot of thought into this decision
(16:09):
and it reflects what matters to us
that is polite to say and it's firm
and you have the right to do that
as you are planning your wedding
so many people make wedding planning
other than the couple
but the people that are in the couple circles
so many people make it about them
(16:29):
I see it all the time
every single day that I'm planning a wedding
someone in their circle is making it about them
and I really want to change the narrative on this
because it is so important to be able to
at that point in someone's life
to be strong and stable for them when they need it
(16:54):
but to offer compassion when
and support
when they just want to tell you what they're having
so if you're planning your wedding
and you want white hydrangeas everywhere
and then you go and you sit down with a girlfriend
or sit down with a coworker
and you say oh
my gosh yes
we met with our florist
we're having white hydrangeas everywhere
we're so excited that person in your life goes oh
(17:16):
white hydrangeas and then all of a sudden
you start to second guess
the fact that you love white hydrangeas
you actually love white hydrangeas
and all of a sudden because of what that
that little comment you are now second guessing
your decision on white hydrangeas
I wish people would just move to the side
(17:39):
when others are planning their wedding
and it is so frustrating to see how much stress
and overwhelmed is caused for brides and couples
planning their wedding because of other people
and that's the narrative that I want to change
because it's only about the two of you
(18:02):
and so
being able to set those boundaries with compassion
because we love our people right
we love our people but we don't have to
we don't have to tell them everything about our wedding
because you know
don't tell them unless you want to have their opinions
and because they will give them
and even if you don't tell them
they'll they'll tell you an opinion that says like oh
(18:24):
she hasn't told me anything
you know and
and passively aggressively
you know say something like that
so it's
important to make sure that you are
setting your boundaries
when you are planning your wedding
and number four don't do this alone
whether it's a using a wedding planner or using a
(18:45):
going to a therapist um
you know having a great best friend to
to talk to about this or you know
I'm a fan of the bride bot
you know you can get support from her
you don't have to carry this alone
and you shouldn't carry this alone
(19:07):
this is a big deal moment in your life
talk to someone someone that you trust
someone that
you know is going to love you if you choose
you know whatever you want for your wedding
but they're going to be able to talk through all of the
emotions that you are experiencing
and having right now
as you are in a big moment in your life
(19:29):
I had someone the other day
comment on one of my TikToks about how um
that you know
wedding the wedding day is not a big deal
and um
you know that they need to focus on their relationship
and I teach on that I am someone that is divorced
and so of all people
(19:50):
I teach on making sure that you're nurturing
your relationship and then
the beauty in my story is that I got remarried
but I carried so much of my first marriage and what the
the chains that aren't easily shaken from your body
when you go through a divorce
(20:11):
I carried those into into my new marriage
and it took a lot of
of peeling back layers and layers and layers of
of me and and the lies that I had been told and
and the things that I had experienced and
and the beliefs that I had
(20:32):
you know and and it took a lot to go through that
and so this person commented on my TikTok and she said
she said oh
you know
the wedding day is not the most important thing and
you know you need to focus on the marriage
which I do that is what I want you to do too
to continue to focus on your relationship as you are
(20:54):
are you as you are planning your wedding
cause that is the most important
but a wedding day is very important
and I and I'm gonna I'm gonna say this because
you know it
it's not necessarily the the flowers or the decor
or what you're serving for dinner
but you've decided to marry someone
(21:17):
and you've picked someone
that's gonna be your partner in life
and that decision does change so much of your life
and so I think weddings are very important
because it determines you know
where you live it determines um
your
if you're gonna have a family and where you might move
(21:39):
or you know
it's it's one of those moments in your life that
you can go left or you can go right
you know and and it's a big deal moment
and that's why there's so much stress and pressure for
for this day but yes
it is just a day and so that
always having that perspective is going to
(22:01):
help you see wedding planning in a whole new light
but yes I
I fully understand
the importance of taking care of your relationship
and nurturing your relationship
and the wedding day gets to be the icing on the cake
literally as you experience it and celebrate it
(22:22):
so I think they're important but you know
I plan them everyday and I talk about them everyday
and I
and I research and I teach others how to plan them
because it's an important day in your life
it's an important day and it should be celebrated
so one thing I wanna address is
you know if you're feeling raw
(22:42):
emotional or like you're you're failing at this
I just want to have you stop
you are not behind you are not dramatic
you are a human who has a life
who's working a full time job
who might have children who
who is doing life with friends and family
(23:04):
and this moment matters to you
and that's why it is so heavy
but it doesn't have to be overwhelming
you can plan this day with clarity and with peace
and you can protect your heart
and still create magic on your wedding day
and I just want to send as much encouragement to you
(23:28):
as I possibly can because I know how hard it is
I know I talk to brides
I work with brides I create for brides
that share with me
all of the struggles that they're going through
and it honestly it hurts my heart for them
because I know how heavy this is
and it should be such an amazing
(23:50):
magical time in your life
and that's what I'm here to change
that's what I'm here to do
is to help people see the importance
and the beauty in this moment that we're creating
so I hope you liked this episode today
and I hope you can take a deep breath
and remember that you're not just planning a wedding
(24:11):
you're beginning a marriage
and that's sacred and if you liked this episode
please follow that helps others find this
that helps my mission of changing this narrative
that weddings have to be stressful and overwhelming
and share it with a fellow bride
who just needs a little bit of encouragement
and some love and if you're ready to plan um
(24:32):
your wedding with an amazing tool that I just created
for brides out there
that have all the questions in the world
check out The Bride Bot at thebridebot.com
until next time snagsters
this is where the process becomes the promise
protect your peace protect your gut
and keep your heart at the center of it all
welcome to the snagged podcast
where wedding planning meets real life
real lessons and a whole lot of unexpected snags
I'm Sarah Lizabeth
a wedding planner and storyteller who has seen it all
from dream weddings
to the beautiful mess that is love and marriage
here
I don't just talk about planning the perfect wedding
(00:23):
I talk about the snags the mistakes
the mishaps
and the moments that taught me the biggest lessons
because let's be real life
love and marriage are never as perfect as we planned
but that's what makes them worth talking about
so whether you're knee deep in wedding planning
navigating marriage or just love
(00:45):
a good story about lessons Learned the hard way
this is your place to feel normal
so grab your coffee or your wine
I don't judge and take a deep breath and let's connect
because sometimes the best stories start with a snag
(01:06):
hey snagsters and welcome back to the snagged podcast
the show where we talk all things wedding planning
the good the stressful
the real I'm your host Sarah Lizabeth
wedding planner educator
former bride twice
and your go to girl for turning chaos into clarity
(01:26):
today we're gonna talk about something I know you felt
even if you haven't been able to name it
why wedding planning feels so personal
like painfully personal like crying in your car
second guessing everything
why is this so hard kind of personal
(01:49):
and here's the thing
it's not just because you care about your wedding
it's because of everything else underneath it
so let's start here a wedding is not just a party
yes it's beautiful
yes it's full of flowers and outfits and first dances
(02:09):
but it's also a public expression of a very private
relationship you know
everyone shows the good stuff on social media
and relationships are private
and we don't often share all the details
so it's a very public
expression of something that is private
(02:31):
it's also a merging of families
of your stories of your values and your cultures
it's a line in the sand
between the life that you have known
and the one that you're building
I literally
just had a conversation with one of my teenagers
who was having relationship issues
(02:51):
and in her heart of hearts
like this person at such a young age was her person
and as her mother I'm sitting there looking at her
and I'm trying to be loving and
and give her encouragement
but I just wanna say oh
you know honey
there's so much more to live out there
(03:12):
so finding that person
it's like the former life that you lived
and now the life that you're building together
and when something carries that much meaning
it's no wonder why emotions run high
that's why the tiniest decisions
whether it's the first look
(03:33):
or what kind of cake you wanna serve
it suddenly feels like a referendum of who you are
because you're not just picking details
you're defining a moment in your story
let's talk about something I call performance pressure
this shows up
when you start to feel like your wedding is a show
(03:54):
and you're starring in it
but everyone else is directing
like does that make sense here
can you can you agree with me that
you know this is about you
but why does it feel like everyone else
is directing the story
you hear things like you have to do a receiving line
(04:16):
or at your cousin's wedding
they had a choreographed first dance
or you're not doing a bouquet toss
I will never forget working with one of my past clients
whom I love and adore
and every single meeting we would have
we would sit there
and she and I would be talking about something
(04:39):
and her mom would interject about how
oh well
so and so did this at their wedding
and oh
that'd be nice but have you thought about doing this
or my favorite is when you see something on TikTok
and you wanna do it or on Pinterest
and you wanna do it without any sort of
(04:59):
understanding of what it took to do that
or that
maybe that was just a TikTok video or a Instagram reel
it wasn't real life it wasn't real weddings
and you know
just that pressure
and I remember sitting in that meeting
time and time again you know
my left eye going to the bride
my right eye going to the mom and just saying I'm
(05:22):
I'm gonna have to intercede here in just a minute
because this is not about
your friend that once did this at a wedding
or your cousin who had a first dance or not
so all of a sudden you're planning your dream day
and you're managing all of these expectations
you're avoiding judgment and walking on eggshells
(05:43):
does that sound familiar
because performance pressure whispers
if it's not perfect
you have failed and that my friends
that is a lie that is a lie
because your wedding is not a performance
it's a promise
(06:04):
it's a promise to spend the rest of your life
like after your wedding is done
the lights are turned off the tables are cleaned up
the guests have left and you begin your life
which will have real life things
I've worked with so many clients and you know
(06:25):
I watch them as I'm still connected with them
either via social media or
or I run into them places and I see I
I just ran into a client at the grocery store
you know and they're they're living life
they're they were shopping
and they had three kids
climbing in and out of the cart
in the buggy and I looked at them and I just said
(06:48):
this was what it was all about like
you might be really frustrated
that your kids are hopping in and out of the buggy
right now and pulling things down off the cart
I mean I know my kids are really good at doing that
when I get to the register and
and there's all these things in the cart
that I didn't anticipate paying for
and the thing is is in that moment when they
(07:09):
as parents were so frustrated with their kid
jumping in and out of the buggy
I just looked at them and I said
this is why we did what we did
and this is what it's all about
and you know that's the promise that we're planning for
we're planning for that promise
that
when you can stand next to somebody in a grocery store
and you can you know
(07:31):
go through life together
with your kids bouncing in and out of the cart and
you know you go through trials and you go through um
hard times in life as life is so very hard
it's that promise that you're planning for
it's that future that you're planning for
it's not the day the day can be beautiful and wonderful
(07:55):
but as long as we
continue to have perspective on the promise
that makes wedding planning so much easier
now here's where it gets a little deep
for a lot of brides
wedding planning triggers an identity shift
does anyone understand what I'm talking about here
you know you're asking questions like
what kind of partner am I gonna be
(08:17):
what do I value do I want to take my partner's name
do I want to have children
what traditions matter to me
and for those questions they
those are not small questions
for someone to be thinking about and feeling
so when someone challenges your decision
(08:38):
whether it be you wanna wear black
or you wanna skip religious rituals
or you want to walk yourself down the aisle
it doesn't feel like casual feedback
it feels like a challenge to who you are as a person
and so that's why boundaries are so hard
(08:58):
and that's why group texts are tense
and that's why you're crying over napkin colors
it's not the napkin haha
it's you want to be seen and you want to be respected
and that's really what it's all about I always
always come across clients who
(09:21):
who fall into certain situations
along the way that are tense and stressful situations
and I let them you know
go through that and I let them kind of talk it out
I guess you can say
around my table as we're planning their wedding
but really I look at them after they've talked it out
and I've given them some time to talk and
(09:42):
and figure it out and and I say
why do you want dusty blue napkins
and I don't really care why the client wants
dusty blue napkins it's their wedding
it's not mine so I don't care what they want
but I want to name it and I want to say
why is that triggering all of that in you
(10:04):
and I can guarantee you
as you walk through this process
and as you walk through this journey
you will have moments where you will be in what I call
tense tense times and um
you know those tense feelings that you get around
anything that involves emotion
(10:25):
I always tell my kids
no good decision comes from high emotion and
and you can't make good decisions
even if it's a napkin color
if there's high emotion
but there's always a root to why
why is that so trigger triggering
and when you can get to the bottom of that
(10:45):
it makes picking the napkins very easy
oh I understand
I understand that that particular color
brings back a memory from your childhood
okay I see you
I hear you and that's really what
all of those frustrating moments are all about
being seen and being respected
hey snagster
quick pause if you are listening to this and thinking
(11:08):
okay Sarah
but where do I even start with planning my wedding
I have got something just for you
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(11:28):
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(12:13):
think of it as
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head to Wed Plan pro.com for tools
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alright let's get back to the episode
okay take a deep breath
let's talk about what to do
(12:34):
when wedding planning starts to feel way too personal
and too overwhelming
here's a little clarity reset I walk my clients through
and I wanna talk with you about today
so step 1 reconnect with the why
that's very important
ask yourself what do I want this day to feel like
(12:55):
not just look like that's your compass
reconnect to why
ask yourself why are we planning this wedding
you fell in love you are together with
the person that you're gonna
spend the rest of your life with
and focusing on
that will always help you through your process
(13:18):
as long as you can remember why you're doing this
if there's ever a tense moment in one of my
planning meetings with a client
I do look at them and I'm just like
hey guys let's let's
let's remember why we're doing this here
and it diffuses the situation and um
and we really do get to talk through
(13:40):
why we're doing this and then it
you know it makes
the decisions that they have to make so much easier
because we can get stuck in our head like
we've got to have this we've got to have that
we've got to have this we've got to that and honestly
it's just so much noise it's so much noise
and so when you can go back
and you can really get to the why
(14:01):
of why we're planning your wedding
that is your true north to always be focused on
step 2 get honest with what really matters the most
I want you to pick those top three wedding priorities
just three maybe five
I say three to five but keep the list short
(14:23):
because this becomes your filter
for every other decision
if it doesn't align with those top priorities
it's a no I love my wedding vendors
I love them and adore them
but they are amazing sales people
and their job is to upsell you on literally everything
(14:46):
and make you feel like your wedding
is going to be a disaster
if you do not up upgrade to this
or if you do not do this y'all
please just focus on what really matters most
so that you do not get caught in the upcharge mess
that's out there because you don't really need that
(15:06):
you know
working with clients all the time they would say oh
but should we do this and should we do this
and I'm like you know what
let's let's focus on the real picture
the big picture here
let's step back a little bit and really know if
you know
upgrading the chairs is worth $2,500
if we're crunching numbers in the budget
(15:28):
or we're trying to be resourceful
with the money that we have been given
you know
are people going to remember what kind of chair
they sat in is that big picture for me
probably not so
you know always making sure that you know
and unless
upgraded chairs is one of your top 3 to fives
then do the upgraded chairs
(15:49):
you know and and cut back on something else
but if it doesn't align with your priorities
it's a no step 3 is set boundaries with compassion
when someone pushes back you can say I totally hear you
we've put a lot of thought into this decision
(16:09):
and it reflects what matters to us
that is polite to say and it's firm
and you have the right to do that
as you are planning your wedding
so many people make wedding planning
other than the couple
but the people that are in the couple circles
so many people make it about them
(16:29):
I see it all the time
every single day that I'm planning a wedding
someone in their circle is making it about them
and I really want to change the narrative on this
because it is so important to be able to
at that point in someone's life
to be strong and stable for them when they need it
(16:54):
but to offer compassion when
and support
when they just want to tell you what they're having
so if you're planning your wedding
and you want white hydrangeas everywhere
and then you go and you sit down with a girlfriend
or sit down with a coworker
and you say oh
my gosh yes
we met with our florist
we're having white hydrangeas everywhere
we're so excited that person in your life goes oh
(17:16):
white hydrangeas and then all of a sudden
you start to second guess
the fact that you love white hydrangeas
you actually love white hydrangeas
and all of a sudden because of what that
that little comment you are now second guessing
your decision on white hydrangeas
I wish people would just move to the side
(17:39):
when others are planning their wedding
and it is so frustrating to see how much stress
and overwhelmed is caused for brides and couples
planning their wedding because of other people
and that's the narrative that I want to change
because it's only about the two of you
(18:02):
and so
being able to set those boundaries with compassion
because we love our people right
we love our people but we don't have to
we don't have to tell them everything about our wedding
because you know
don't tell them unless you want to have their opinions
and because they will give them
and even if you don't tell them
they'll they'll tell you an opinion that says like oh
(18:24):
she hasn't told me anything
you know and
and passively aggressively
you know say something like that
so it's
important to make sure that you are
setting your boundaries
when you are planning your wedding
and number four don't do this alone
whether it's a using a wedding planner or using a
(18:45):
going to a therapist um
you know having a great best friend to
to talk to about this or you know
I'm a fan of the bride bot
you know you can get support from her
you don't have to carry this alone
and you shouldn't carry this alone
(19:07):
this is a big deal moment in your life
talk to someone someone that you trust
someone that
you know is going to love you if you choose
you know whatever you want for your wedding
but they're going to be able to talk through all of the
emotions that you are experiencing
and having right now
as you are in a big moment in your life
(19:29):
I had someone the other day
comment on one of my TikToks about how um
that you know
wedding the wedding day is not a big deal
and um
you know that they need to focus on their relationship
and I teach on that I am someone that is divorced
and so of all people
(19:50):
I teach on making sure that you're nurturing
your relationship and then
the beauty in my story is that I got remarried
but I carried so much of my first marriage and what the
the chains that aren't easily shaken from your body
when you go through a divorce
(20:11):
I carried those into into my new marriage
and it took a lot of
of peeling back layers and layers and layers of
of me and and the lies that I had been told and
and the things that I had experienced and
and the beliefs that I had
(20:32):
you know and and it took a lot to go through that
and so this person commented on my TikTok and she said
she said oh
you know
the wedding day is not the most important thing and
you know you need to focus on the marriage
which I do that is what I want you to do too
to continue to focus on your relationship as you are
(20:54):
are you as you are planning your wedding
cause that is the most important
but a wedding day is very important
and I and I'm gonna I'm gonna say this because
you know it
it's not necessarily the the flowers or the decor
or what you're serving for dinner
but you've decided to marry someone
(21:17):
and you've picked someone
that's gonna be your partner in life
and that decision does change so much of your life
and so I think weddings are very important
because it determines you know
where you live it determines um
your
if you're gonna have a family and where you might move
(21:39):
or you know
it's it's one of those moments in your life that
you can go left or you can go right
you know and and it's a big deal moment
and that's why there's so much stress and pressure for
for this day but yes
it is just a day and so that
always having that perspective is going to
(22:01):
help you see wedding planning in a whole new light
but yes I
I fully understand
the importance of taking care of your relationship
and nurturing your relationship
and the wedding day gets to be the icing on the cake
literally as you experience it and celebrate it
(22:22):
so I think they're important but you know
I plan them everyday and I talk about them everyday
and I
and I research and I teach others how to plan them
because it's an important day in your life
it's an important day and it should be celebrated
so one thing I wanna address is
you know if you're feeling raw
(22:42):
emotional or like you're you're failing at this
I just want to have you stop
you are not behind you are not dramatic
you are a human who has a life
who's working a full time job
who might have children who
who is doing life with friends and family
(23:04):
and this moment matters to you
and that's why it is so heavy
but it doesn't have to be overwhelming
you can plan this day with clarity and with peace
and you can protect your heart
and still create magic on your wedding day
and I just want to send as much encouragement to you
(23:28):
as I possibly can because I know how hard it is
I know I talk to brides
I work with brides I create for brides
that share with me
all of the struggles that they're going through
and it honestly it hurts my heart for them
because I know how heavy this is
and it should be such an amazing
(23:50):
magical time in your life
and that's what I'm here to change
that's what I'm here to do
is to help people see the importance
and the beauty in this moment that we're creating
so I hope you liked this episode today
and I hope you can take a deep breath
and remember that you're not just planning a wedding
(24:11):
you're beginning a marriage
and that's sacred and if you liked this episode
please follow that helps others find this
that helps my mission of changing this narrative
that weddings have to be stressful and overwhelming
and share it with a fellow bride
who just needs a little bit of encouragement
and some love and if you're ready to plan um
(24:32):
your wedding with an amazing tool that I just created
for brides out there
that have all the questions in the world
check out The Bride Bot at thebridebot.com
until next time snagsters
this is where the process becomes the promise
protect your peace protect your gut
and keep your heart at the center of it all
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