March 24, 2025 • 17 mins
Nothing got the competitve family jucies flowing quite like a good board game! We thrilled at bankrupting our parents in a heated game of Monopoly or sinking a sibling's aircraft carrier in Battleship. The only time the TV stayed off was on game night!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando.But we've been friends for over 40 years. And
grew up together in the San Fernando Valley.These are the stories of our experiences as
adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from backin the day. And don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode.
(00:26):
Was it? Da na na. The other night. Da na na.What I found in there. Da na na. Was an absolute
fright. Da na na. That's all I got. Dude, whywould you leave me like that in the middle
of that ocean? That that bad blues ocean. Ileft you I left you a Chunk of the Titanic
(00:46):
to float around. I know you didn't I sunk I'mdead. I've been eaten by I hooked out a lifesaver
I'm hanging out with Quint except instead ofsending it throwing a real lifesaver I threw
you like a role of them by the way, dude Okay.Oh wait love life. We're not gonna get a role
right now. Yeah fact that it was in a role fruitor mint When I was a kid. Today, mint. Yeah,
(01:10):
okay. All day, every day. But when you're akid, fruity flavors. When I was a kid, I loved
the fruit. I couldn't do the fruit now. Man,those white ones that were like cocoa, pineapple,
coconut. Oh, oh my God. Pineapple lifesavers.I can taste that right now. The red cherry
ones, amazing, amazing. But, yeah, I love alifesaver. Who doesn't? No, I always like cleaning
(01:34):
out stuff. Because I like, you know, just toget rid of things. What'd you get rid of? I
had some extra like shipping boxes, like smallboxes, and I realized I didn't need all the
ones I had. The boxes were on top of a game.Dun, dun, dun. I only have one. Well, you have
(01:55):
one board game? I have one. Is it a board game?Or is it a digital game of sorts? No, it's
a board. I guess you have to consider it asboard. Are there batteries? No, no, no. This
is old school. You have an old school game inyour apartment right now? Old school. Look,
I have old school games in my house becauseI had kids. Yeah. And when I had kids, I bought
all the best games, board games, because boardgames are great. I have one of the originals.
(02:18):
One of the finest. I know what it is right now.What? Okay. I don't even, you don't have to
go any further. Okay, what is it? Monopoly.No. Okay, I don't even have to go further.
We'll just edit that out. Okay. I don't evenhave to go any further. I know what it is.
Clue. No. Dude, you gotta go, like think the,like the. What? Life. Even before. Old, old,
(02:41):
old. Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it, I gotit, I got it. The oldest of the old. I got
it, I got it, I got it. Scrabble. Fuck yeah,Scrabble. Dude, yeah, when you go back to the
beginning of time, when I think of more games.Because your mother is Seal Wibblesman. Of
course you have Scrabble in your closet. Whatis wrong with me? The game couldn't be fun.
(03:02):
You have a librarian mother. The only game youshould have in your closet is Scrabble. And
to this day, it is the only one I have. Areyou really good at Scrabble? Because I would
bet that you are. I'm not particularly great.Eric Wibblesman, you were a spelling bee champion.
I was a spelling bee champion. I've got a sizablevocabulary, but I just don't like work in the
(03:24):
triple word score is not my jam. I just like,I freeze up. That's all I'm thinking about
when I play Scrabble. That's all I think aboutis how do I get to the triple word. Even if
it's ox. Yeah, ox. Even if it's ox, I want,or ax. Xylophone. Well, that's what you want
on triple word score is you want xylophone.Early board games, I mean, okay, chess and
chat, wait, like, Does count. Yeah, does fullycount. So I played a lot of checkers. Are you
(03:46):
a good chess player? No, my brother was, I don'tknow if he's still a good chess player, but
he used to read up, he read, like, Was he ranked?No, not ranked, no, he was just, Why not? What
do you mean? When people go into these thingsand they get really good at them and they get
involved with organizations, you get ranked.I remember him, he had a book, Bobby Fisher
teaches chess. Yeah, I know. Yeah, so he readup some Bobby Fischer. I think he got pretty
(04:10):
good. I was never... I knew the basics of thegame, but I never got really good at it. Dave
was a good chess player. I was never good atchess. So those are our early games. We played
Scrabble, but then, okay, as kids... Oh, kids.Monopoly! Monopoly. It was great. At one point,
I had, I don't know how old I was, but I hada Nintendo system. and I got Monopoly for Nintendo.
(04:35):
And so I started playing against a computerand I would be getting, you know, I would put
it on expert and I would get whipped. by thecomputer on expert every single time until
I started paying attention to what the computerwas doing. And I started noticing there was
a very clear and distinct pattern of strategythat the computer was using to beat me every
(04:56):
time. It wasn't what it would buy, but I don'twanna say it publicly, because I'm gonna play
people. That's fair. So I figured it out, Iwas like, oh, it's clear, this is what they're
doing. So I started using that. Technique andwhen I played humans and you kicked her ass
never lost Never lost you had the monopoly onMonopoly. I will have to be compassionate and
(05:18):
Just giving to lose at Monopoly unless somebodyelse is also Unless they've got if you employ
info the computer expert strategy of MonopolyYou can't be beaten you should play competitive
Monopoly then you can play they would know itThey would know the strategy then I got to
deal with big brains. Yeah, but there's butthere's there there are tens of dollars to
(05:39):
be made in prize money. Not even. Huge, it'sbig. Yeah, it's less. You can win a lot of
plastic hotels and houses. I did love that game.And I loved it more when I started destroying
my family. What was your favorite ad monopoly?I thought just destroying your family. Well,
I like that too. But no, when I started beatingeverybody. And I remember like one of the first
(05:59):
few times I did, I played with Karen, my sister,and I was just, you know, I was killing. And
she was like, you can't do that. And I was just,it was like decimating everybody. And I was
just, I had the biggest smile on me. She wasnot thrilled. She was not amused. She was not
amused by that, no. Were you a big Shoots andLiders fan? I was being shits and ladders.
(06:21):
That was my game. Shits and ladders was a lotmore fun. Except you could only play it once.
And then you had to throw the game away withhazmat. You know how many shits and ladders
games there's? Scads. How much is a scad? Isit like 50,000? No, no, it's pretty much. A
scad. Okay. So like you have a couple, you haveseveral, and then you have scads. So scads
(06:45):
is like 12. Oh, so it's less than a pallet.No, no, it's like 17. It's like 17. Okay, okay,
scad. I have scads of those. 17. But just chutesand ladders. 17 to 35. You'd climb a ladder,
you'd slide down a ladder. Hence, shits andladders. And then there was? I didn't like
shits and ladders. Sorry. Sorry was good. Youknow why sorry was good? Mm. Because of the
pop. The popper. the popper of the dice, lovedto pop the dice. That little plastic dome thingy.
(07:09):
I would sit with that game while I was watchingTV and eating barbecue chips and just pop the
dice. That's why that little dome had all thatbarbecue dust on it because you had that barbecue
fingers. Mine had Cheeto dust. Because it feltgood, it was a satisfying pop. Pop, pop, pop.
It was like a few other games had that too.I'm trying to think of it. Well, Yahtzee had
cups. Oh, well Yahtzee wasn't a board game,it was a dice game. It wasn't a board game.
(07:33):
A dice game is a board game. But it didn't havea board at all. Oh, there's no board? No. No,
you had the cups and the dice. Wait, are yousure? Yeah, yeah, because then you wrote in
your scores on the Yahtzee sheet. Okay, here'sanother question for you. Here's another one.
Is it a board game or is it not a board game?You ready? Mm-hmm. Connect Four. Oh, that's
good. I'm calling it a board game. There's noboard. I'd say the thing is a board. The thing
(07:53):
is a board, yeah. And then here's the commercial,you ready? Yeah. It's the brother and sister.
Yeah. And then the sister wins and she goes,connect four, I win. And then the brother says,
where, I don't see. She cuts him off, righthere, diagonally. And he goes, pretty sneaky,
sis. And you know what? Pretty sneaky, sis wasnot the original ending to that commercial.
(08:14):
Wait, wait, seriously? No, no, seriously. You'relying right now. No, they changed it. This
is a joke. They changed it. It was originally.Cause I got excited and then I realized it
was a joke and now I'm upset, but go ahead.And instead of him saying pretty sneaky, sis.
Yeah. She smart mouths him and then he justtakes out a butterfly knife and just slices
(08:36):
her throat. Yeah, yeah and kills her. And thenthere's blood all over the connect four. Oh,
the connect four board. Right, and then it'slike connect four. Mom! And then you hear the...
Johnny's being a dick! And you hear the voiceoverconnect four while there's blood spouting all
over the connect four board. It's like burp,burp. That'd be a fun thing to do is to remake
old commercials on 16 millimeter film. or eightmillimeter film, something really low-fi. But
(09:01):
really messed, like, and do stuff like that.I think that's our next project. Pretty sneaky.
Pretty sneaky, sis. Well, I thought of one wherelike, for the Mr. Microphone. Oh, hey good
looking, be back to pick you up later. But thenthe microphone explodes. Or, no here's one.
Hey good looking, back to me later. And yousee the car passing by as a semi truck barrels
(09:26):
into the front. Head on collision. A cementtruck. Yeah, with the kid. Doing 90. The William
Cat kid with the Mr. Microphone and then itjust gets destroyed. I like that. Okay, you
know what? I mean, this is for days we couldread. I'll rent the cement truck. I'll look
into that and you can do the editing. Hey goodlooking. Be back to pick, oh my God! All right,
(09:50):
my favorite board game, oh I'm glad you askedme that, Eric. What's your favorite? What was
your favorite board game? Oh, Eric. Yeah? I'mglad you asked me that. Okay, yeah, I wanna
hear it. You're not gonna know, you probablyhave never heard of this board game. Well,
I really, at this point I really don't care,but you're gonna tell me anyway. I don't know
anybody else who's heard of this board game,but I'm gonna tell you, Masterpiece, not Masterbait,
Masterpiece, Masterpiece. Yes. By the way, Masturbatewas a board game. It did not sell well. Because
(10:20):
it was... You know how they always put the ageranges on the games? It was two to eight. And
it didn't... Masturbate would be like nine tothirteen. It was a fishing game. It was spelled
Master B-A-I-T. Oh, B-I-T. And then they werelike, oh shit! And then they printed all the
copies. They made like 50,000 copies and thenlike... They're like, dude, we've got a whole
(10:45):
plethora. Both Milton and Bradley were like,oh, fuck, we fucked that one up. No, this is
not master. They lost a few bucks on MasterBait. They did. This is not that. Master Pie?
Master Piece. What was it? It was based on famouspaintings. and you would have famous paintings
and bid on them and some of them were forgeriesand it was this like bidding, secret bidding
(11:06):
game and it was really, it's a brilliant. Itsounds like shit. No, it's a brilliant game.
No, I don't believe you. You'd like it to thisday. No. Because it works with different age
groups and it's sort of like Liar's Dice withpaintings, with famous paintings and they're
real famous paintings that are printed on thecards. It's a great game. And everything, and
the money, that was the other thing that wasfun about it, was the currency was millions
(11:29):
of dollars. What was fun about playing withmonopolies, you had like 500, 100. Yeah, it
was way slow, way smaller. But yeah, you goto something like Masterpiece and you get millions
of dollars. Literally hundreds of thousands,millions of dollars for these paintings. I
might consider playing that. I'm gonna go onpay and find a copy of Masterpiece. Not Masterbate.
No, well you can't find a copy of that anymoreanyways. They've destroyed a lot of those.
(11:50):
Yeah, or they're worth, you know, there's likea couple left and they're worth a lot of money,
like a Boba Fett or something. That's true,maybe they're just super valuable. Look at
me and tell me what Monopoly piece I am. Itwasn't the deal. No. Wow. I can see this 40
plus friendship. This 40 year plus friendshipis about to end. Okay, seriously, seriously.
(12:11):
Look at you. You were wanting to be the shoe.Oh, I know, the horse. No? Okay. What was it?
I don't know. Dude, the car. Oh, the car. Thecar, the fucking race car. Dude, if you said,
yeah, a cool old race car. I like that car.I thought if you said iron next, I was gonna
fucking drill you in the head. The iron. Iron.Why did they have an honor? Those were brilliant.
(12:37):
Those pieces were amazing. Yeah, they were funpieces. They said something about, I don't
know about what, but they said something. Pieces,and this thing- Again, we're gonna make a new
one. And it's gonna happen. Okay, what wouldyou, yeah, well in your Monopoly game, what
pieces- Firearms, dildos, footwear. There wasa shoe in the original. There was a shoe, yeah.
(12:58):
So, yeah. We're gonna have corpses. Corpse,oh, a good corpse, yeah. Like a dead, like
a, no, like an outline. Okay. Like a dead outlinefrom the, the detective did of the chalk outline.
Let's see, how about a... I'm gonna have a half-eatenfish with the spine sticking out. A heroin
spoon. A heroin spoon, right, right. A bongto go along with the heroin spoon. Oh, yeah,
(13:22):
that's good. That's perfect. That's enough piecesto play Modern Monopoly. Masterpiece I've Told
You About You Like is a good game, but alsoanother game that I used to love, Clue. You
know, I played that a little. It wasn't popularat my house. I don't know why. I don't know,
we must've been playing a lot of Monopoly orsomething else, but Clue. Clue was fun. Mr.
Green in the study with the lead pie. God, whatwas the other one? Risk? Risk, that's a gross.
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When we got older. Risk was the one where youwere trying to take over the world, where you're
a fascist dictator. That's the goal. Just tobe a fascist dictator and rule the world. What
better game for a family? That was risk, right?We had all the pieces and you move your army
in different places and then... Yes, and then...That's risk! But there was Stratego also and
I don't... Oh! You just reminded me of anotherone. Oh, which one? An electronic board game
(14:13):
eventually, but it was first, it was not electronicand you had to use your own, like, honesty.
Yeah. Battleship, you got it. Battleship wasgreat, I loved that game. That was a big...
The original Battleship was just great, andyeah, you couldn't, like, you could fuck with
people and lie. Yeah, you had to tell them thatyou were like, hit. Hit, hit. Miss! Hit. You
(14:35):
sunk my Battleship. That was the other one thathad the commercial. That was the commercial.
But dude, once... You sunk my Battleship. Butonce they got to the electronic Battleship,
and it made the... It was electronic. And youput in like E4, and it'd be... Peace! with
that eight bit sound. Oh, it's like. Brrrr.That just sounds like, that sounds like Donald
(14:58):
Duck taking a shit. Which is also a great, whichis a great board game. Donald Duck taking a
shit? Donald Duck takes a shit. That's a greatboard game. I played that a lot actually. I
really enjoyed that game. Okay, wait, we gotBattleship. Battleship was fun. I enjoyed Battleship.
I would play that to this day. That's stilllike. That's a head to head. I know it's not
really, it's sort of a, it's a board game sortof and it kind of reminds me of Battleship
(15:21):
that I used to play with my sisters and theyhave like little peg versions of it and plastic
versions is mastermind. I vaguely remember that.That's one where you would put behind a little
screen four pieces or six pieces of differentcolors. Oh yeah yeah! guesses. That's right.
Figure it out and you would know it's in theright place, the right time, space, the right
color. These sort of games, like we're talkingabout, that's a good game. The Stratego and
(15:44):
Risk and Mastermind. And Master Bait. That'sthe great one. They all made you use your brain.
Well, almost all of them. Made you use yourbrain. Like, they're real thinking games. They
actually, they were thinking games. They reallymade you like, dig deep. I stopped playing
board games because, you know, you get to bea teenager, you're not playing board games
anymore. Because you're in drugs. Right, thatwas way more fun than board games. No, one
(16:08):
of the things that stopped us from playing boardgames was video games. Video games, right,
so we started going to video games. That took,right, that took over. Of course, I wanna play
pickaxe speed all day. Yeah. And we did. I mean,look at you, you even learned to master Monopoly
off of a fucking video game, right? Now you'regonna say something else. Now I wonder, are
(16:28):
board games still a big deal? Like, are they,is it something, do- Do families still care
or in this digital age, are people just notplaying? Or are they doing it online, where
they're playing like different places? Can Itell you how old you sound when you say things
like this digital age? You sound ancient. It'snot that I'm not. In this digital age. Back,
(16:49):
back on video. Back when I was a kid, in thegood old days. I used to eat my own toes when
I got hungry. You kids got it made with theCheetos. We have- I would eat my toes, you
got Cheetos. We didn't have board games. Ourboard games were just mud. We just played with
(17:13):
mud in the yard. And we'd eat that when we werehungry. The mud, you're a bunch of pussies.
The guy's sound.
listening to the Sons of San Fernando. Don'tforget to hit that subscribe or follow button
(17:35):
in your favorite podcast app so you don't missan episode. Drop us a review, we'd love to
hear from you. If you'd like to support theSons of San Fernando, the best way is to share
the show. We'll catch you on the next episode.
I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando.But we've been friends for over 40 years. And
grew up together in the San Fernando Valley.These are the stories of our experiences as
adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from backin the day. And don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode.
(00:26):
Was it? Da na na. The other night. Da na na.What I found in there. Da na na. Was an absolute
fright. Da na na. That's all I got. Dude, whywould you leave me like that in the middle
of that ocean? That that bad blues ocean. Ileft you I left you a Chunk of the Titanic
(00:46):
to float around. I know you didn't I sunk I'mdead. I've been eaten by I hooked out a lifesaver
I'm hanging out with Quint except instead ofsending it throwing a real lifesaver I threw
you like a role of them by the way, dude Okay.Oh wait love life. We're not gonna get a role
right now. Yeah fact that it was in a role fruitor mint When I was a kid. Today, mint. Yeah,
(01:10):
okay. All day, every day. But when you're akid, fruity flavors. When I was a kid, I loved
the fruit. I couldn't do the fruit now. Man,those white ones that were like cocoa, pineapple,
coconut. Oh, oh my God. Pineapple lifesavers.I can taste that right now. The red cherry
ones, amazing, amazing. But, yeah, I love alifesaver. Who doesn't? No, I always like cleaning
(01:34):
out stuff. Because I like, you know, just toget rid of things. What'd you get rid of? I
had some extra like shipping boxes, like smallboxes, and I realized I didn't need all the
ones I had. The boxes were on top of a game.Dun, dun, dun. I only have one. Well, you have
(01:55):
one board game? I have one. Is it a board game?Or is it a digital game of sorts? No, it's
a board. I guess you have to consider it asboard. Are there batteries? No, no, no. This
is old school. You have an old school game inyour apartment right now? Old school. Look,
I have old school games in my house becauseI had kids. Yeah. And when I had kids, I bought
all the best games, board games, because boardgames are great. I have one of the originals.
(02:18):
One of the finest. I know what it is right now.What? Okay. I don't even, you don't have to
go any further. Okay, what is it? Monopoly.No. Okay, I don't even have to go further.
We'll just edit that out. Okay. I don't evenhave to go any further. I know what it is.
Clue. No. Dude, you gotta go, like think the,like the. What? Life. Even before. Old, old,
(02:41):
old. Oh, I got it, I got it, I got it, I gotit, I got it. The oldest of the old. I got
it, I got it, I got it. Scrabble. Fuck yeah,Scrabble. Dude, yeah, when you go back to the
beginning of time, when I think of more games.Because your mother is Seal Wibblesman. Of
course you have Scrabble in your closet. Whatis wrong with me? The game couldn't be fun.
(03:02):
You have a librarian mother. The only game youshould have in your closet is Scrabble. And
to this day, it is the only one I have. Areyou really good at Scrabble? Because I would
bet that you are. I'm not particularly great.Eric Wibblesman, you were a spelling bee champion.
I was a spelling bee champion. I've got a sizablevocabulary, but I just don't like work in the
(03:24):
triple word score is not my jam. I just like,I freeze up. That's all I'm thinking about
when I play Scrabble. That's all I think aboutis how do I get to the triple word. Even if
it's ox. Yeah, ox. Even if it's ox, I want,or ax. Xylophone. Well, that's what you want
on triple word score is you want xylophone.Early board games, I mean, okay, chess and
chat, wait, like, Does count. Yeah, does fullycount. So I played a lot of checkers. Are you
(03:46):
a good chess player? No, my brother was, I don'tknow if he's still a good chess player, but
he used to read up, he read, like, Was he ranked?No, not ranked, no, he was just, Why not? What
do you mean? When people go into these thingsand they get really good at them and they get
involved with organizations, you get ranked.I remember him, he had a book, Bobby Fisher
teaches chess. Yeah, I know. Yeah, so he readup some Bobby Fischer. I think he got pretty
(04:10):
good. I was never... I knew the basics of thegame, but I never got really good at it. Dave
was a good chess player. I was never good atchess. So those are our early games. We played
Scrabble, but then, okay, as kids... Oh, kids.Monopoly! Monopoly. It was great. At one point,
I had, I don't know how old I was, but I hada Nintendo system. and I got Monopoly for Nintendo.
(04:35):
And so I started playing against a computerand I would be getting, you know, I would put
it on expert and I would get whipped. by thecomputer on expert every single time until
I started paying attention to what the computerwas doing. And I started noticing there was
a very clear and distinct pattern of strategythat the computer was using to beat me every
(04:56):
time. It wasn't what it would buy, but I don'twanna say it publicly, because I'm gonna play
people. That's fair. So I figured it out, Iwas like, oh, it's clear, this is what they're
doing. So I started using that. Technique andwhen I played humans and you kicked her ass
never lost Never lost you had the monopoly onMonopoly. I will have to be compassionate and
(05:18):
Just giving to lose at Monopoly unless somebodyelse is also Unless they've got if you employ
info the computer expert strategy of MonopolyYou can't be beaten you should play competitive
Monopoly then you can play they would know itThey would know the strategy then I got to
deal with big brains. Yeah, but there's butthere's there there are tens of dollars to
(05:39):
be made in prize money. Not even. Huge, it'sbig. Yeah, it's less. You can win a lot of
plastic hotels and houses. I did love that game.And I loved it more when I started destroying
my family. What was your favorite ad monopoly?I thought just destroying your family. Well,
I like that too. But no, when I started beatingeverybody. And I remember like one of the first
(05:59):
few times I did, I played with Karen, my sister,and I was just, you know, I was killing. And
she was like, you can't do that. And I was just,it was like decimating everybody. And I was
just, I had the biggest smile on me. She wasnot thrilled. She was not amused. She was not
amused by that, no. Were you a big Shoots andLiders fan? I was being shits and ladders.
(06:21):
That was my game. Shits and ladders was a lotmore fun. Except you could only play it once.
And then you had to throw the game away withhazmat. You know how many shits and ladders
games there's? Scads. How much is a scad? Isit like 50,000? No, no, it's pretty much. A
scad. Okay. So like you have a couple, you haveseveral, and then you have scads. So scads
(06:45):
is like 12. Oh, so it's less than a pallet.No, no, it's like 17. It's like 17. Okay, okay,
scad. I have scads of those. 17. But just chutesand ladders. 17 to 35. You'd climb a ladder,
you'd slide down a ladder. Hence, shits andladders. And then there was? I didn't like
shits and ladders. Sorry. Sorry was good. Youknow why sorry was good? Mm. Because of the
pop. The popper. the popper of the dice, lovedto pop the dice. That little plastic dome thingy.
(07:09):
I would sit with that game while I was watchingTV and eating barbecue chips and just pop the
dice. That's why that little dome had all thatbarbecue dust on it because you had that barbecue
fingers. Mine had Cheeto dust. Because it feltgood, it was a satisfying pop. Pop, pop, pop.
It was like a few other games had that too.I'm trying to think of it. Well, Yahtzee had
cups. Oh, well Yahtzee wasn't a board game,it was a dice game. It wasn't a board game.
(07:33):
A dice game is a board game. But it didn't havea board at all. Oh, there's no board? No. No,
you had the cups and the dice. Wait, are yousure? Yeah, yeah, because then you wrote in
your scores on the Yahtzee sheet. Okay, here'sanother question for you. Here's another one.
Is it a board game or is it not a board game?You ready? Mm-hmm. Connect Four. Oh, that's
good. I'm calling it a board game. There's noboard. I'd say the thing is a board. The thing
(07:53):
is a board, yeah. And then here's the commercial,you ready? Yeah. It's the brother and sister.
Yeah. And then the sister wins and she goes,connect four, I win. And then the brother says,
where, I don't see. She cuts him off, righthere, diagonally. And he goes, pretty sneaky,
sis. And you know what? Pretty sneaky, sis wasnot the original ending to that commercial.
(08:14):
Wait, wait, seriously? No, no, seriously. You'relying right now. No, they changed it. This
is a joke. They changed it. It was originally.Cause I got excited and then I realized it
was a joke and now I'm upset, but go ahead.And instead of him saying pretty sneaky, sis.
Yeah. She smart mouths him and then he justtakes out a butterfly knife and just slices
(08:36):
her throat. Yeah, yeah and kills her. And thenthere's blood all over the connect four. Oh,
the connect four board. Right, and then it'slike connect four. Mom! And then you hear the...
Johnny's being a dick! And you hear the voiceoverconnect four while there's blood spouting all
over the connect four board. It's like burp,burp. That'd be a fun thing to do is to remake
old commercials on 16 millimeter film. or eightmillimeter film, something really low-fi. But
(09:01):
really messed, like, and do stuff like that.I think that's our next project. Pretty sneaky.
Pretty sneaky, sis. Well, I thought of one wherelike, for the Mr. Microphone. Oh, hey good
looking, be back to pick you up later. But thenthe microphone explodes. Or, no here's one.
Hey good looking, back to me later. And yousee the car passing by as a semi truck barrels
(09:26):
into the front. Head on collision. A cementtruck. Yeah, with the kid. Doing 90. The William
Cat kid with the Mr. Microphone and then itjust gets destroyed. I like that. Okay, you
know what? I mean, this is for days we couldread. I'll rent the cement truck. I'll look
into that and you can do the editing. Hey goodlooking. Be back to pick, oh my God! All right,
(09:50):
my favorite board game, oh I'm glad you askedme that, Eric. What's your favorite? What was
your favorite board game? Oh, Eric. Yeah? I'mglad you asked me that. Okay, yeah, I wanna
hear it. You're not gonna know, you probablyhave never heard of this board game. Well,
I really, at this point I really don't care,but you're gonna tell me anyway. I don't know
anybody else who's heard of this board game,but I'm gonna tell you, Masterpiece, not Masterbait,
Masterpiece, Masterpiece. Yes. By the way, Masturbatewas a board game. It did not sell well. Because
(10:20):
it was... You know how they always put the ageranges on the games? It was two to eight. And
it didn't... Masturbate would be like nine tothirteen. It was a fishing game. It was spelled
Master B-A-I-T. Oh, B-I-T. And then they werelike, oh shit! And then they printed all the
copies. They made like 50,000 copies and thenlike... They're like, dude, we've got a whole
(10:45):
plethora. Both Milton and Bradley were like,oh, fuck, we fucked that one up. No, this is
not master. They lost a few bucks on MasterBait. They did. This is not that. Master Pie?
Master Piece. What was it? It was based on famouspaintings. and you would have famous paintings
and bid on them and some of them were forgeriesand it was this like bidding, secret bidding
(11:06):
game and it was really, it's a brilliant. Itsounds like shit. No, it's a brilliant game.
No, I don't believe you. You'd like it to thisday. No. Because it works with different age
groups and it's sort of like Liar's Dice withpaintings, with famous paintings and they're
real famous paintings that are printed on thecards. It's a great game. And everything, and
the money, that was the other thing that wasfun about it, was the currency was millions
(11:29):
of dollars. What was fun about playing withmonopolies, you had like 500, 100. Yeah, it
was way slow, way smaller. But yeah, you goto something like Masterpiece and you get millions
of dollars. Literally hundreds of thousands,millions of dollars for these paintings. I
might consider playing that. I'm gonna go onpay and find a copy of Masterpiece. Not Masterbate.
No, well you can't find a copy of that anymoreanyways. They've destroyed a lot of those.
(11:50):
Yeah, or they're worth, you know, there's likea couple left and they're worth a lot of money,
like a Boba Fett or something. That's true,maybe they're just super valuable. Look at
me and tell me what Monopoly piece I am. Itwasn't the deal. No. Wow. I can see this 40
plus friendship. This 40 year plus friendshipis about to end. Okay, seriously, seriously.
(12:11):
Look at you. You were wanting to be the shoe.Oh, I know, the horse. No? Okay. What was it?
I don't know. Dude, the car. Oh, the car. Thecar, the fucking race car. Dude, if you said,
yeah, a cool old race car. I like that car.I thought if you said iron next, I was gonna
fucking drill you in the head. The iron. Iron.Why did they have an honor? Those were brilliant.
(12:37):
Those pieces were amazing. Yeah, they were funpieces. They said something about, I don't
know about what, but they said something. Pieces,and this thing- Again, we're gonna make a new
one. And it's gonna happen. Okay, what wouldyou, yeah, well in your Monopoly game, what
pieces- Firearms, dildos, footwear. There wasa shoe in the original. There was a shoe, yeah.
(12:58):
So, yeah. We're gonna have corpses. Corpse,oh, a good corpse, yeah. Like a dead, like
a, no, like an outline. Okay. Like a dead outlinefrom the, the detective did of the chalk outline.
Let's see, how about a... I'm gonna have a half-eatenfish with the spine sticking out. A heroin
spoon. A heroin spoon, right, right. A bongto go along with the heroin spoon. Oh, yeah,
(13:22):
that's good. That's perfect. That's enough piecesto play Modern Monopoly. Masterpiece I've Told
You About You Like is a good game, but alsoanother game that I used to love, Clue. You
know, I played that a little. It wasn't popularat my house. I don't know why. I don't know,
we must've been playing a lot of Monopoly orsomething else, but Clue. Clue was fun. Mr.
Green in the study with the lead pie. God, whatwas the other one? Risk? Risk, that's a gross.
(13:50):
When we got older. Risk was the one where youwere trying to take over the world, where you're
a fascist dictator. That's the goal. Just tobe a fascist dictator and rule the world. What
better game for a family? That was risk, right?We had all the pieces and you move your army
in different places and then... Yes, and then...That's risk! But there was Stratego also and
I don't... Oh! You just reminded me of anotherone. Oh, which one? An electronic board game
(14:13):
eventually, but it was first, it was not electronicand you had to use your own, like, honesty.
Yeah. Battleship, you got it. Battleship wasgreat, I loved that game. That was a big...
The original Battleship was just great, andyeah, you couldn't, like, you could fuck with
people and lie. Yeah, you had to tell them thatyou were like, hit. Hit, hit. Miss! Hit. You
(14:35):
sunk my Battleship. That was the other one thathad the commercial. That was the commercial.
But dude, once... You sunk my Battleship. Butonce they got to the electronic Battleship,
and it made the... It was electronic. And youput in like E4, and it'd be... Peace! with
that eight bit sound. Oh, it's like. Brrrr.That just sounds like, that sounds like Donald
(14:58):
Duck taking a shit. Which is also a great, whichis a great board game. Donald Duck taking a
shit? Donald Duck takes a shit. That's a greatboard game. I played that a lot actually. I
really enjoyed that game. Okay, wait, we gotBattleship. Battleship was fun. I enjoyed Battleship.
I would play that to this day. That's stilllike. That's a head to head. I know it's not
really, it's sort of a, it's a board game sortof and it kind of reminds me of Battleship
(15:21):
that I used to play with my sisters and theyhave like little peg versions of it and plastic
versions is mastermind. I vaguely remember that.That's one where you would put behind a little
screen four pieces or six pieces of differentcolors. Oh yeah yeah! guesses. That's right.
Figure it out and you would know it's in theright place, the right time, space, the right
color. These sort of games, like we're talkingabout, that's a good game. The Stratego and
(15:44):
Risk and Mastermind. And Master Bait. That'sthe great one. They all made you use your brain.
Well, almost all of them. Made you use yourbrain. Like, they're real thinking games. They
actually, they were thinking games. They reallymade you like, dig deep. I stopped playing
board games because, you know, you get to bea teenager, you're not playing board games
anymore. Because you're in drugs. Right, thatwas way more fun than board games. No, one
(16:08):
of the things that stopped us from playing boardgames was video games. Video games, right,
so we started going to video games. That took,right, that took over. Of course, I wanna play
pickaxe speed all day. Yeah. And we did. I mean,look at you, you even learned to master Monopoly
off of a fucking video game, right? Now you'regonna say something else. Now I wonder, are
(16:28):
board games still a big deal? Like, are they,is it something, do- Do families still care
or in this digital age, are people just notplaying? Or are they doing it online, where
they're playing like different places? Can Itell you how old you sound when you say things
like this digital age? You sound ancient. It'snot that I'm not. In this digital age. Back,
(16:49):
back on video. Back when I was a kid, in thegood old days. I used to eat my own toes when
I got hungry. You kids got it made with theCheetos. We have- I would eat my toes, you
got Cheetos. We didn't have board games. Ourboard games were just mud. We just played with
(17:13):
mud in the yard. And we'd eat that when we werehungry. The mud, you're a bunch of pussies.
The guy's sound.
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