Gen X Cars - You're a Quart Low

From the family station wagon that hauled us around town to getting behind the wheel of the first vehicles of our own, cars were a different kind of beast in the 70s and 80s. Seatbelts? Optional. Would they start on a cold morning? Probably not. We were lucky if we had air conditioning and a tape deck. And let's not forget the infamous cigarette lighter. As kids, cars took us places we wanted to go and places we didn't want to go. As teenagers, cars gave us the freedom to get the hell outta Dodge!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando,but we've been friends for over 40 years, and
grew up together in the San Fernando Valley.These are the stories of our experiences as
adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from backin the day. And don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode.

(00:26):
at the risk of isolating very small portionof our audience. I can't imagine it's a big
portion of the audience. But at the risk ofisolating one out of 10 listeners, a couple
people. Okay. The Cybertruck is the ugliestmotherfucking thing I've ever seen in my life.
There's a guy. It is the best example of theemperor wears no clothes that I've ever seen.

(00:50):
Yeah, well. There's a guy in my neighborhoodthat has a, an army green cyber truck. Yeah.
And it might even be worse than the all metalversion. I mean, they're all bad. They're all
like, what about that? Do people see as innovative?There have been multiple cars in the past.
that looked just like that. I think Musk was,I think he's fucking with people. I think he

(01:14):
really was just like, you know what, let memake the ugliest fucking piece of shit possible
and see how many people will buy it. I thinkyou're giving him the benefit of the doubt,
frankly, but his last name is Musk. I mean,can we talk about that for a second? Yeah,
yeah, you know, what do you think of when youthink of Musk? I think of like raccoons. No,
I think, I see, I think of cologne. So doesthat mean? I think of raccoon cologne. Raccoon

(01:37):
cologne. Yeah, raccoon cologne, raccoon cologne.There's nothing like a- A good raccoon cologne.
Your typical raccoon's wearing like, Dakar noiror- Dakar, yeah, absolutely. But you know,
but that's just for the upscale raccoons. That'snot a typical raccoon. A typical raccoon is
getting, you know, Jeanette Jean- Jeanette,Jeanette. Just a splash of Jeanette behind

(01:59):
each ear. Right on the muzzle. I don't evenknow why I have Jeanette in my memory bank.
I don't know what that's taking up too muchspace. I'm deleting it right
now. Yeah, you should. There's no need for that.So my point is, people that want to be totally
out of Cybertruck's the best thing I've everseen. It's not innovative in one word. Well,

(02:22):
I'll give you two words. One is a definite article.The. The? Delorean! Yeah, oh ho ho. The Delorean
was a beautiful thing to behold. It was aestheticallypleasing. The fucking garbage wagon that must
have been... By the way, that was the originalname of the Cybertruck. That was the working
title. Yeah, it was the garbage wagon. The garbagewagon. And I guarantee you, that thing sells

(02:46):
10 times more volume if they change it to thegarbage wagon. Look. What, yes, and I might
consider it. If I could say that I was drivinga garbage wagon. Speaking of wagons, you know
what that reminds me of? No, I don't, Eric.What does it remind you of? The Ford Country
Squire Station Wagon. Tree Squire Station Wagon.The Ford Billy Squire Station Wagon. Did you

(03:11):
have one of these when you were a child? I mean,I don't think you financed it. Yes, I owned
a car, yes. Well, I bought my first car whenI was five. Good, and it was the Country Squire.
Yeah, well. Now, did it have, was it a Woody?Did it have the wood sides? Excuse you? That's
what they were called! Oh yes, no, I didn't,that's what they were. Ask the Beach Boys.
I got a 37 Chevy and I call it a Woody. SurfCity, here we come. Okay, sorry. We had old

(03:38):
cars. Cause you were, it was a long time ago.It was a long time ago. Yeah, that's right.
It was not old then. Oh man, the blue bomber.Everybody I knew called it the blue bomber.
It was a Ford Country, and the Country Squirestation wagon. Let me ask you a question. Before
you tell me about the station wagon, beforeyou even tell me what like, what it was like
inside of it and what it looked like, couldyou start the motherfucker in the morning?

(03:59):
Because my mother had a Plymouth. And I don'tknow what else. By the way, my mother had a
Plymouth. Your mother had a Plymouth too? No,no, my mother had a Plymouth. That was a record.
By Billy Squire? No, but it should have been.Yeah, because he might have sold some more
records. Listen, I love Billy Squire. You knowthat I never wanna smirk or be smirked. Let

(04:21):
me just say that my mother's Plymouth, and that'snot a euphemism. Wow. Never goddamn started
in the morning. And I remember it had a manualchoke that you literally. Oh no, that's, what
year was that car? You literally had to pullthe manual choke. I mean, I was probably seven,
eight. And back then, budge cars were, you know,manual transmission. Well, to answer your question,

(04:45):
yes, this is the same thing. This was, we hadn't,this was an automatic transmission. You had
the shifter on the column. Three on the tree.On the, on the column. Three on the tree, yeah.
Yeah. It was on the steering wheel. And it did,like to start it, it was quite a bit of work.
Nya nya

(05:23):
Do you remember when you would pull in withyour, first of all, you were in, as you said,
two zip codes. So the hood of your car wouldpull in, and then a few minutes later, the
rest of your car would pull into the gas station.And then what would you do? You would have
a gas station attendant. Yes. Do you rememberthe gas station attendant? Yeah, full serve.
Full serve. And you would pull into full serve.And what did your parents say to them when

(05:43):
they pulled up? Fill her up. Fill her up. Fillher up. Fill her up, motherfucker. Fill her
up. Fill her up. F-I-L-L-E-R-U-P. Didn't haveto get out of the car, just fill her up. I
wonder if they got tipped. Here's the thingthough, I remember when they would check the
oil dipstick, there wasn't a time where thegas station attendant came back and said, you're

(06:04):
all good. No, it was always, you're a quartlow. You're a quart low. One quart. Why? Because
you're selling fucking oil. That's why. Butif they said you're two quarts low, you're
like, you're full of shit. Yeah, there's noway I'm leaking that much oil. And if you're
just a half a quart, well, I don't need a, that'snot, I don't need a top, a quart. Well, that's
enough to top it off. Which, by the way, a littleside story. When I drove from New York, upstate

(06:24):
New York with Mike Lamarca to Pittsburgh, wewere, you know, early twenties and we had no
idea that Pittsburgh was on the west side ofPennsylvania. Pennsylvania is a very large
state. Never look at a map. So it took us 12hours to drive Mike's VW bus. Oh, good Lord.
Yeah. 1960. I don't know what year that thingwas. VW bus from upstate New York all the way

(06:45):
to Pittsburgh. It took 12 hours, but here'sthe best part. It leaked and I'm not exaggerating
one quart of oil per hundred miles. So I don'tknow exactly how far that trip would have to
go back and calculate, but to think about thedamage, you know, you talk about a carbon footprint.
Well, that's a lawnmower engine. If you hada cutter underneath that, you could drive it
on the freeway and then cut some lawn. I hada Beetle. I'm a big fan of that engine. I remember

(07:10):
the... Big fan of the engine, but that particularone was leaking like a motherfucker. By the
way, having a conversation in a Beetle... Yeah.You can't do it. Almost impossible. Well forget
about that in this bus man. First of all, itwas 32 degrees exactly and raining slash snowing
the entire time and Mike did not have windshieldwipers. Well that's a problem. That's a problem

(07:32):
for seat. So we had to reach around the outside.You had to give it a reach around. And wipe
down the windshield so that we could drive.If I had a nickel for every time I had to do
a reach around wipe down. Porsche designed thoseengines. They're basic. By the way, that is
the proper pronunciation, thank you. Porsche?People say Porsche, it fucking drives me crazy.

(07:53):
That's not the name. Porsche is wrong. How aboutthis, Porsche? Yeah, that's wrong. You like
that? No. Porsche? No, stop. Porsche. Porscheis fucking wrong. It's Porsche. Porsche is
what I've always said. What's his name? It'sItalian. It's his name, it's Porsche. It's
his name, he's Italian. It's Porsche, it's justwrong. Well he designed the Beetle engine that
you're parshing on. But I wanna go back becauseI just, I've got the view and the focus of

(08:20):
the Blue Bomber Ford station wagon. All right,go ahead. Because this was a city. Hold on,
hold on, hold on. You're saying the car wasa city? Yeah, you could live in this. You could
live in the city. So it had its own mayor, forexample. It lived in the glove box. But the
front, it's a front bench seat. Oh, love a bench.A bench all the way across. Love a bench. So

(08:45):
you could easily put three, you got driver,you could actually shove four in the bench.
You got four people in that bench. How manyof them were wearing seat belts? Yeah, and
the answer is none. None is the answer. Nobodywore a full seat belt. And in the back, you
got a full bench. Yeah. Bench on bench. It'sa double bench. It's a Johnny bench. It's a,

(09:08):
it's, it's so much better. So in the front,three, maybe like four would be pushing it
because you got a driver, but let's call itthree. The four in the back, easy. There's
seven. If two of them are kids, you could dofour on the bench. Okay, but then. country
squire and you got three on the tree so there'sno manual no manual way right no it's a pretty
good a lot of space tons of legroom yeah there'sno there's no bump there's no hump in the middle

(09:33):
there's no stick to straddle it's a none ofthat going on it's clean seating and you got
Blasting cold air conditioning. Clean C. Yougot clean C. You're not getting abused by anything
if you're sitting in the middle in the front.The air conditioning was phenomenal. Yeah,
it was great. And the fucking station wagon.Yeah, you got a tray. The back, the back was

(09:57):
unbelievable. A gurney. Unbelievable. Try toimagine this. So it had the fold-away seats
that didn't face front. They faced back. Theyfaced, no, they faced sideways. Oh, you had
sideways facers? They faced out the side. Wait,they faced out? Yeah, so imagine you're looking-
They didn't face each other? Yes. If you'refacing the back, two sets of seats fold up

(10:20):
right, and left, and face each other out theside. Yeah, yeah. So you could fit two kids
and both of those facing each other. So yougot three in the front. Three in the seat.
Four in the middle seat. Four in the middleseat and then in the back you got four facing
out. That's 11 people. In one vehicle. Yeah.Comfortably. Nobody wearing a seatbelt. That's

(10:44):
why it was so comfortable. By the way, there'sonly lap belts anyways. Here's the thing about
the no seatbelt. Only lap belts which are onlygood for... Because nobody wore. You know why?
Because if you're in an accident, what happens?You fold over. You get sliced in half. It's
done. It doesn't matter. What's the point? Youmight as well go through the windshield and
get a slice in the mouth. I want to be a wholedead person, not a half a dead person. That

(11:06):
was the lore at the time, do you remember? Thatwas the lore that if you didn't, when they
started saying, hey, you should wear your seatbelt,because there was a point, nobody wore a seatbelt,
nobody cared. But then there was a point wherethey were starting to push seatbelts before
it was a law, before it was mandatory clickof a ticket. Before that they were like, you
got to wear your seatbelt. But then the backlashof that said that if you were wearing your
seatbelt, you're stuck and you get smashed,right? And you get killed and crunched in the
car. But if you're not wearing your seatbelt,you get and you land safely in the cornfields.

(11:32):
Because the cornfield is soft, right? You'renot going to get impaled by some corn. All
of a sudden you get corn hold when you get inan accident. You don't want to get corn hold
or impaled by anything, frankly. But that wasthe theory. Yeah, that lasted about 12 seconds.
No, dude, nobody wore seatbelts. It took a longtime for seatbelts to really take hold. And
first of all, what are those chest protectorcalled? What's it called? The lap belt? No,

(11:57):
the lattice. Oh, the cross. Yeah, what's thatcalled? That is a good question. Yeah, what's
that called? The chest part of the belt. Thechest down? The chip, the chip. The super chest?
The chipper chest? The swing over, the sash?The swing sash? The sash. The side sash? The
safety sash. It should be called the safetysash. Your SS, for example. Yeah. Wow, the
SS, the new SS, only available on German cars.Oh, God. Okay, so that- By the way, I gotta

(12:22):
get back to that because I had an automaticsafety. built thing. Okay, well go back to
your vehicle. Okay, so you've got, we, becauseI had one too, and you know that back area
in our station wagon, my parents, I didn't haveit, my parents had it, but in our station wagon,
we didn't have the fold up seats that you hadin the very back. It was just a tray, a gurney,
a flat, a bed. Yeah, so you just throw likea ton of kids back there. Well, you know, it

(12:45):
was a ton of me because I was younger than mysisters and so for a carpool, you got banished
to the back of the car. I was asleep. but mymother couldn't leave me at home alone for
carpool, so she would throw me in the back ofthat thing. No safety. With a blanket. No,
with a blanket. Blanket, yeah. I would lay downwith a pillow and a blanket, and I swear to
God. No seat belts back there, no safety. Iwould get thrown around like a fucking fish

(13:05):
in the back. Yeah, you got slammed into onewall, slammed into another. Yeah. We had the
same thing. I was slamming into everything.When we didn't have those, I call them jumper
seats for the lack of a better term, becauseit's kind of like a jumper seat on an airplane
where the stewardess sat. Yeah, it's a littlebit like that. And if you had... If we had
those down, it was the same thing. It was justa big empty bed back there. And you would slide
around. Like my brother and I would sleep backthere. And if my dad took a hard left turn,

(13:30):
if he was like, like beating a porcupine, youwould go slamming right into the fucking, I
slammed constantly. I remember I can. picturemyself sliding around and slamming into the
walls. But here's the other thing, is that evenif I was sitting in the back seat, not in the
far back gurney, but let's say I was sittingin just a regular back seat, sitting up, right?
My mother was a heavy breaker and wasn't alwayspaying attention. And this was before cell

(13:55):
phones, so I don't know what the fuck she wasdoing, but she wasn't always paying attention.
And then it was like, you glash on the breakand I would... fly face first into her seat
and just be like boom and face right into theback of the Happened all the fuck and we still
survive somehow, but no, imagine. No way, wedidn't even get injured. Remember there was
a hot minute when certain cars had the automaticsash? No. Where it put, no, you didn't, I had

(14:19):
one of these. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.Yeah. It went like, nyeee. Yes, exactly, it
went, nweee. Oh yeah, so it was at the frontof the door. Yes. Like towards the front of
the car. And when you closed the door, Yeah,and then it goes. It automatically wrapped
that around your body. It was part of the door.I had that, I had a Ford EXP. You know what?
Back in that day, I was going pretty fast. Youwere going fast. Like we did. I was making

(14:42):
like... When we went to see Billy Squire inVentura. Oh, that was like a hundred miles
an hour. We were in a hundred and five. I rememberclocking a hundred and five. What car were
we in? We were in a Nissan Maxima. But thatNissan Maxima, here's what happened to that
Nissan Maxima. I'm driving down the hill, downVan Alden, where my parents live in Tarzana,
California, in the San Fernando Valley. And...I'm listening to Purple Rain. It's all of 1990,

(15:12):
maybe 89. Purple Rain. No, but not Purple Rain.It's Darling Nikki. Now, if you know Purple
Rain, if you know Purple Rain, you know thatat the end of Darling Nikki, Wow. Yeah, he
does the niffa ooh niffa Backwards subliminaldevil messages, yeah. Okay, you're interrupting

(15:34):
my amazing rendition of it. But anyway, so I'mlistening to it now. My cassette player in
the Nissan Maxima had the- Cassette player.Oh yeah, it had the ability, I'm sure you know
what I'm about to say, to reverse and go theother way and play the flip. It had an auto
flip. Yeah, by the way, I still have an autoflip in my Acura. I have a take back in my

(15:55):
2005 Acura. You have a cassette player. I havea cassette in my car right now. I don't even
have a cassette player anywhere in my home,my work. I have a cassette in my car that I
had for 17 years. And we're musicians, and we,I mean some things, still. I don't even have
one. In my car right now, I have a six discchanger. Oh, say that again? A six disc changer.

(16:16):
A disc six, six disc changer? A dick six changer.Yeah. Dick six changer. Oh, you had a CD player
and a cassette player. And a surround soundsystem, a full ELS surround sound to play DVD
audio. So I have. I have the future and I havethe kind of past. They made like at least six
of those at some point. Six DVD audios? I ownall of them. And you own all of them. I could

(16:38):
listen to, tell me what they were. I could listento Billy Squire live. No, there is, there's
a live Billy Squire DVD audio remixed in 5.1.There's Roy Orbison, Black and White. The Black
and White concert. Tom Waits, Elvis Costello.There's a Bowie, one of the Bowie records is

(17:00):
in 5.1. How is that? What Bowie record is it?I wanna listen to that. Why did they need all
of that one car? Why do you have that many audiooptions in one vehicle? Well, I don't know
why, but I do know why you want the auto reverse,and let me tell you why. You want the auto
flip, not auto reverse, the auto flip. The autoflip on the set, why? You know why you want
the auto flip? Because when you get into horrificcrash in your Nissan Maxima, which is what

(17:23):
I did, first I should probably say how I gotinto the horr- If it crashed, but I was driving
down. I turned on Rosita, which was a shortcutto Rosita. You take Rosita. Rosita goes between
Van Alden and Rosita. And I would take Rositato Rosita. Rosita to Rosita, Rosita to Rosita.
Either way work. But I, this time went Rositato Rosita. And as I was getting close to Rosita,

(17:45):
I was smoking a cigarette. at the time, as weall did. We all did. At the time, I was smoking
a cigarette and I had a sunroof in my NissanMaxima and I decided that I was gonna flick
the ashes out of the sunroof. Well, you're anidiot. So I start flicking the ashes and what
do you do? I'm looking up, right? So I'm lookingup at the cigarette and I'm flicking the ashes
and the ashes won't flick. So I'm extendingmy gaze upward. Yeah, cause I gotta flick them

(18:09):
ashes. Now I'm not watching the way I'm going.It's the equivalent of modern day texting.
I was looking up and not looking forward. Youwere texting with your cigarette. Well, what
ended up happening was I veered left. MaybeI didn't veer left. Maybe I was going straight.
Was it a veer or was it a heavy veer? I don'tthink it was any, I don't think it was a veer
or a heavy veer. I think it wasn't a veer wang.I don't think I turned. You know what happened?

(18:33):
The street turned left. I believe you. As thestreet. veered left, I continued to go straight.
Oh, that's typical. Well, in my path was a verybig park. and I ran into it. I thought you
were saying very big parka. Dude, I ran intoit, no braking, no slow down, full speed, it

(18:54):
was like a crash test dummy, basically. Rightinto this motherfucking car in front of me.
And I was like, it hurts so badly. I broke ribs.Well, but you were wearing your seatbelt. I
was wearing my seatbelt, which broke my ribsbecause I hit the fucking thing so hard and
my hand was up so high, trying to flick thecigarette. ashes out through the sunroof that

(19:14):
when I hit and the impact happened my hand flewforward and knocked the rearview mirror clean
off of the car. It literally broke. God! Yeah,but yet my hand was fine, but I broke ribs.
Anyway, I was in so much pain from the broken,smashing my ribs that I ran out of the car
and like laid on the ground and was like, ohman, and as I was laying on the ground the

(19:36):
auto reverse plane, but on the same side asDarling Nikki, and it played it forward so
I could hear what they were saying. It reversedit, but kept the heads, so it flipped the direction,
but kept the heads on the same side of the tape.What did it say? It was something like, God
is coming, I feel fine, hello, I am fine, becauseGod is coming. And I was like, oh my God, I'm

(19:59):
dying. Isn't that crazy? That's kind of a weirdthing to have happen, especially that it happened
right at the time when there was something thatif you played it in reverse was forward. I
mean, what are the odds of that? What's funnyis that of you're talking about cars and crashing
cars, that's not the only time you've crasheda car. No, I have crashed other cars. In fact.

(20:21):
I believe I crashed one pretty badly with youin it. I remember this and whose car is this?
My sister's car is Deanna's car. It's my oldestsibling, female sibling. Let's talk about this
vehicle. It was a red, do you remember beforeI said it? Red Nissan. Go ahead. No. It was
a hatchback. It was red. It was a oh god, Ican picture it. It was a Nissan 200SX. Oh.

(20:47):
Not the 300ZX, not the 280ZX, the much lesscool 200SX. The 300ZX was fucking badass. That
was like the sports car. The 280Z was the best.The 280Z had the fucking big, that had the
hood that went on for a mile. I still love thoseguys. I would love to have a 280Z. A guy I
worked with at the record store. Yeah. whenthis crash actually happened, he had one of

(21:10):
those. Really? He had the real version. Yeah,because it was like, it almost felt a little
bit like a poor man's corvette. Oh, they wereawesome. Because it had that, I mean, you could
barely fit two people in it. Before the 280,they were Datsun. They were the Datsun 240Zs.
I think partially I love it so much becauseDeanna's boyfriend, Andy Saluchis, which is

(21:31):
a real name, Andy Saluchis, I idolize the guy.Is that plural? plural. Is it just one saloocha?
Or is it two saloochas? It sounds like chalupas.One salooch. Is that on the menu at Taco Bell?
I'd like two saloochas please. No, he's onesalooch. I want a beef saloocha. But then if
you put the whole family together, there's saloochas.And I want a bean burrito and a chicken saloocha.

(21:56):
And a diet Mountain Dew. So the Saluich's family,Andy Saluich. So Andy Saluich has had a 280Z.
And I think that's part of why I love thosecars so much. Because I idolized him. I was
10. He was 18. Deanna was 18. Deanna's mucholder than me. And I love the guy. I thought
he was the coolest thing in the world. I thinkat one point, and I'm not exaggerating, I think

(22:18):
this is true. I think that he ran drugs becausehe was a pilot as well, for Pablo Escobar.
No, I think it's for real. And I'm slanderinghim. This story just took a hard fucking left
turn. I'm slandering him in public. Not slandering,he's not doing it anymore. No, that's fucking
cool. Look, this may not be true at all. Hemay not run drugs. I wanna believe it. I wanna

(22:39):
believe it. I don't know who told me he wasrunning drugs for Pablo Escobar. Did you? It's
probably completely untrue. But did you rundrugs in any of the Nissans? I just went and
like, I don't know if I was- I've never rundrugs for anyone. No, no, not even Pablo Escobar.
He probably never ran drugs for Pablo Escobar.But Andy Saluchis was my idol and he drove
a 280Z. So that was my, this was the, that Icrashed in was a 200Z. A 200Z, it was red,

(23:05):
it was red. 200SX. SX, and it was red, I rememberthat. And you were in the passenger seat. With
the sandwich. You were, oh yeah, did I makethe sandwich? Did we make the sandwiches together?
We made sandwiches, yeah. You were taking me-To work. To work. Plus yes and you were late
you were running late I have my guitar in theback you did I think one of my guitars the
ESP was in the back might have been the ESPbut I was eating a sandwich I had my sunglasses

(23:28):
on I was eating a sandwich I remember so we'rehauling ass down Van Alden yeah and there's
a water like little river that runs well isthat runoff from whatever dick fuck had the
sprinklers that would run over the brain ourcountry club the
Motherfuckers. Golfing. They're golf assholes.Yeah. They're golf holes. They're golf. They're

(23:53):
ass golfs. They're ass. No, they're golf holes.That's perfect. You're a golf hole. No, I why
would you golf? Why would you do that? There'sno good fucking reason to that. If you want
to hit a ball, play baseball. It's a big wasteof real estate. Oh my God. It's the biggest
waste of real estate. No offense to the Scott.Scottish people who invented golf because I

(24:15):
think maybe in Scotland. You don't want to offendthe Scots? Didn't Scottish people invent golf?
Um, I know they invented. I find that I tendto be friends with a lot of Irish and Scottish
people. You're part Irish too, aren't you? Iknow. No, you're Polish and German. Polish
and German. Did you get a lot of Polish jokeswhen you were a kid? Oh yeah, Polak jokes.

(24:36):
Polak jokes, yeah. Yeah, they were non-stop.I can't remember one right now to save my life.
Not right now. No, yeah, the light bulb is theclassic Polak joke. I do tell. How many Polaks
does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many?100. 100? Yeah, one to hold the light bulb
and 99 to turn the house. That you asked forit? That's the one I know. That's almost decent.

(25:02):
200SX, we're driving. Yep. You're late. I'mlate for work. You're driving me to work. You
got a sandwich. Yeah, I got a sandwich. You'rewearing sunglasses. We cross the golf stream.
It's 108 miles to Chicago. Yes. The golf stream.And what happens because these cars are not
built well and we're not driving the 280Z. No,we're driving the 200SX. So what happens is

(25:24):
I start hydroplaning. Yep. It didn't take much.It didn't take a river. It just took a little
bit of water. In the defense of the car, I wasmaybe going a little fast. And It was on a
turn and I was going fast and I hit that waterand I started hydroplaning. But it wasn't that
fast. As I hydroplanned, the rear wheels hitthe curb on the right, flipped the whole car

(25:50):
spun the opposite direction, backwards twice,hit the other curb on the other side, we hopped
up onto the curb, we smashed into the wall,into the car, bounced off the wall and into
a tree and knocked the tree down. And you know,and that car looked Fucked up. Dude, fuck the
car, dude. My sandwich was fucking ruined. Itwas fucking mustard everywhere. My sunglasses

(26:17):
wound up in the back seat with fucking pickles.In the hatchback. Pickles on them. I had pickles
on my fucking sunglasses. Yeah. It was a fuckingmess. And that was a good fucking sandwich
is what I'm saying. Is like that was. Therewere pickles, mustard. It was a baguette. It
was a sandwich ruined is what I'm getting at.What was the meat? Turkey? Salami. I used to

(26:41):
do a lot of salami sandwiches when I was a kid.I think this might have been a combo. I do
remember some salami, because mustard and salami,that would have been my jam. Yeah, I would
have been down with that. What was even moreterrible was, when I was about 14 years old,
we were slated to buy a new car. Okay. My dad's...Slated like you got like the, like the government

(27:05):
called. Yeah, no, we had... And they were like,Vivo's rents! It is time for you to buy a new
car! Yeah, it was mandated by the Germans. Yeah.The Germans called me. You have to get a new
car. You can get a VW! So we had the stationwagon, my dad had an old... But no Audi! 67
Dodge Dart. Okay. That my Dodge Dart GT thatmy brother still has. Dude, that's cool. It

(27:26):
was a cool car, but... Dave has that? Dave stillhas 67 Dodge Star GT. Did you drive it or is
it sitting in the garage? It's constantly beingworked on. I think it runs again. It does.
A very cool car. So when I'm about 14 yearsold, my parents are looking to buy another
car because my dad was gonna like, I think hehad already given the Dodge to my brother and

(27:49):
my brother was gonna be going off to collegeor whatever. My parents spy a car. They look
off into the distance and they're like, what'sthat? A 1971... No. ..fucking swinger. Dodge
Swinger. Why? Why did your dad want that? Becauseit's like a... It was like similar to the Dart.

(28:09):
Pea Green. Fucking... Fucking pea soup... Fucking...Baby shit fucking green. But he saw this car
and he's like, it's in great shape. It's barelybeen used. It has almost no miles on it. And
it was like, and like, well, motherfucker. Nowthis is gonna be my hand-me-down car. And was
it? No, I didn't even get that. You didn't evenget that. I got nothing. I got shit. I got

(28:34):
a fucking, I got a boot in the ass at 18. Andyou know what? And I got a hand, I got two
hand-me-down, no, I got one hand-me-down andI destroyed it. That's the, there you go. Yeah,
we should be giving you nothing. No, I shouldhave gotten nothing. I should have gotten nothing.
I destroyed my sister's car. I destroyed theNissan Maxima. What was your very first car
that was your own car that you bought? Oh, thatI bought? Yeah, that you bought. What was mine?

(28:57):
I think it was the Subaru Forester. Oh yeah?Yeah. What was yours? That's not exciting.
No, I, sorry. I was 18 years old. I had justbeen recently kicked out of the house. So I'm
on my own. I needed a car. Yes. Volkswagen ChiracoAlso known as the shit Rocco because they were

(29:20):
shitty shit He card it was a man my first threecars were manual there was a car was a manual
the Volkswagen Chiraco It was a hatchback. Ilove my I could put my gear in there. No GTI
No, God. No, it's just like 12 steps below GTI.Yeah, but I remember I got that car and about
a week After I got the car I got a I went tolike fucking Sears and I got and I got a stereo

(29:48):
Because the stereo is fucking shit. Well, that'sthe thing back then Stereos were not commensurate
with the car itself. You would get a stereoseparately. Yep, separately. And you would
take the stereo with you. Well, later on, Ihad a pullout. When you left the car, you'd
pull out the amp. I had a pullout there, butmy first one was not a pullout. The one in
the Scirocco. There were the pullouts, and thenthere were the faceplate. The faceplate, like

(30:11):
the Blaupunkt and the Alpine that you wouldjust take it. Right. But in the Scirocco, I
upgraded to a better. Sound system with thespeakers and I bought it with my Sears credit
card The first thing I ever bought with my Searscredit card. Wow week later It was I come out
and it was ripped out of my fucking dash. Thespeakers were stolen. I had I hadn't even it

(30:37):
was a 30-day grace period on the Sears cardI hadn't even paid for it and it was fucking
stolen. So you hadn't made a payment yet. Hadn'tmade a payment yet And my stereo was gone.
And then did you have to pay it off then? Yeah,and I didn't have a stereo for like six months
because I didn't have any more fucking moneyfor a stereo. So I listened to nothing. Yes,
fucking hysterics. Out of my Volkswagen shitrocko. That thing was always breaking down.

(31:01):
I could never get into fucking third gear. Itwas, and then I bought it. It's kind of heartbreaking,
this story. Honestly, it's kind of heartbreaking.I destroyed two, 200 Nissan 200SXs. And a Maxima.
Yeah, oh, all Nissan destruction. It's all...You know what? Nissan destruction. Until this
very moment, I didn't realize that all the carsyou fucked up were all Nissans. I fucked up

(31:25):
the Nissan Maxima. Don't ever buy one again.No, I'm never buying a Nissan. Okay, so you
were in the car with me when I destroyed thered 200 sex. I was in the car with Prince when
I destroyed the Nissan Maxima. By the way, imagine,just for a moment, having Prince in the passenger
seat. in the backseat and be like, you betterdrive me around. Yeah. But imagine for just

(31:51):
a moment that you're in a Nissan 200SX. No,it was a Maxima. It was a Maxima with Prince.
That you're in the silver Nissan Maxima. AndPrince is riding shotgun. He was. What do you
think Prince does? Is he adjusting the seata little bit? I think he gets out of the car,

(32:11):
right? OK, so I crash right now. I'm on theground, and I'm writhing. in pain because I've
broken ribs, right? Prince gets out of the car,looks at me with a sideways smile, and then
goes like, damn.
No, do you think he's looking through your glovebox? Do you think Prince is rummaging through

(32:34):
your glove box? No! He's Prince! He has everythinghe needs! He doesn't need to look in my glove
box for shit that he wants! It's Prince! I'mnot saying Prince is going to steal something
out of your glove box. I'm just saying maybehe wants, maybe he's interested in what's in
your glove box. No! He doesn't give a shit aboutme! No! I'm taking Prince from A to B. He doesn't

(32:56):
care what's in my glove box. And then when I'mon the floor, he's fine. The accident happened.
Well, of course he's fine. He's Prince. He'sa, he doesn't. And that's when he goes, damn.
Yeah, but I'll bet when you had a crash withPrince, he wasn't eating a salami sandwich
like I was. Prince never ate salami in his entirelife. I can tell you right now, there is not

(33:17):
a time when Prince, Prince Nelson. eats a salamisandwich. What's his middle name? Javier. What?
Aaaa
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