July 22, 2024 • 25 mins
In the 70s and 80s, recess and lunch were more important than church. Any opportunity to wolf down as much sugar as possible before beating the crap out of each other during a spirited game of jungle ball was a welcome relief from the duldrums of sister mary whatshername. Any Gen Xers will tell you that recess and lunch were battles of the fittest.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando.But we've been friends for over 40 years. And
grew up together in the San Fernando Valley.These are the stories of our experiences as
adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from backin the day. And don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode.
(00:28):
of our existence as human beings and we suckat them. And it starts from infancy and into
childhood and into school and then they getcemented in school, especially at recess. That's
when your relationships, that is how you learnto deal with human interactions for the rest
of your life. Recess is the very first timewe do that because you go into school, you
(00:51):
start school, you're in class. And then whatthey give you like what an hour or two of class
and then 15 goddamn minutes. And then they letyou out into the world. Well into the yard.
Or in our case. A prison yard. Yeah, we knowwe did. Oh, so okay. So let's paint that picture.
So we were at a Catholic. We were to Catholicschool school. We went to Our Lady of Grace
(01:16):
in California. There's no grass. No, it wasall ash. That's why OLG was coined. A prison.
Our Lovely Grass. Our Lovely Grass, becausethere weren't any. It did feel like a prison.
There were a lot of gates, a lot of asphalt.A lot of gates and asphalt. It's a prison,
like a prison with nuns. Yeah. That should havebeen the subtitle. O-L-G, prison with nuns.
(01:36):
Exactly. I actually, have you seen that movie?Prison with Nuns? It's great, yeah. It stars.
Beverly D'Angelo. And John Travolta. I stillwanna see that movie. Bev and Johnny in prison
with none. Prison with none. Yeah, no, that'sa great 70s. Bev and Johnny. Like they're your
(01:58):
best friends. I love Bev. I was a big BeverlyD'Angelo fan for a long time. She was in hair,
which I loved and have seen a billion times.And then of course, the vacations. Brilliant.
Okay, so we're in a prison. We're in a prison,yeah. Because there's nothing but asphalt.
And you're having to, you know, you start schooland you're having to learn whatever you read.
Well, you're having to learn. I'm having todaydream. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. But then,
(02:22):
yeah, right. So socializing, the very firstsocializing you really learn is in recess because
now you're out. Yeah. I mean, not really supervised.I mean, they're watching to make sure you don't
kill each other. Shiv, shiv another kid. Youdon't want to shiv a kid. Yeah, shiv a kid.
You don't want to shiv a kid. No, but that soundslike a Jewish rite of passing. Shiv a kid?
(02:43):
Yeah. The Shiva kid. On the day of his Shivakid. Yes, exactly. But that's where you grow
and you learn relationships. And for 15 minutesat a time and recess. Yeah, was it 15? I have
a thought in my head that it was shorter than15. It might have been, it might have been
10. Like we got 15 when we were young and thenas we got older, they cut it down to 12 minutes.
(03:06):
They may have, but what happened was you would,you know, generally before I would go to school,
at least, I'd have like a. big bowl of sugarycereal. Mm, me too. So I'd be all hopped up
on sugar. Which was your favorite? What cerealwere you eating? It was a cereal of choice.
It was a big Cookie Crisp fan. No, no, no. Backin those days, no. Come on. Cookie Crisp might
(03:26):
not have been around. Nonsense. It would havebeen... That's absolutely nonsense. No, I know
what it was. What? Boo Berry. Boo Berry? BooBerry. My brother was a big Count Chocula fan.
I was down with the Boo Berry. You know, BooBerry's not that far off from Captain Crunch.
berries. Basically the same thing. Yeah, no,we wouldn't. We went heavy Boo Berry. Not a
(03:48):
lucky charm guy? I, yeah, but I was the onewho, like, I'm sure a lot of kids, I'd pick
out all the marshmallows and eat the- How areour parents so stupid? Absolute morons giving
their children bowls of sugar. The same onesthat were loading us up with margarine. dinner
time. Margarine, margarine! Just a big stickof margarine. Here, put it on a plate, eat
(04:12):
it. It's good for you. Sugar and chemicals,that was my diet as a child. How we are still
alive is a fucking miracle. Well, right now.Give it 10 minutes, which is the length of
a recess. Oh God, it felt like less. So it wouldbe all hopped up on sugar from breakfast. You'd
go in, you'd be trying to learn a thing or twoand they're like, okay, you can't pay attention
(04:34):
for more than a couple hours. We're going tosend you out into the yard to run around like
fucking apes on the asphalt, on the asphalt,which is a billion degrees. Oh yeah. That's
right. Summer. Yeah. You know, it's funny becauseit was always like, and when we went back to
school in September, it was just 108 outsidein the Valley and back then, you know, there
were no emissions laws. So you're talking about,it was a bad, Oh, you were sucking. Oh, it
(04:57):
was an air quality warning day every day. Everyday. Yeah. It was just how bad was it? Yeah.
But the But the thing is, is like the asphaltitself was probably 140. Yeah. You know, if
you measured the actual temperature of the asphalt.I did with my tongue. I just, right on there.
Yeah, no, that's good. And at recess, you didn't,as I remember, you couldn't, I don't think
(05:18):
we could have any food. So we already have,I don't think so. I think. What if you had
food that you brought? They went, the nuns wouldfucking whack you. Right? We did have rules
about that. Yeah. Which is crazy sustenance,nutrition. They wanted to wait. They didn't
want you to ruin your lunch. You know, it'sfunny is that now that is called nutrition.
The break itself is called nutrition. It's callednutrition. Yeah. But when we were in school,
(05:41):
it was just, it was get the fuck out for a whileand go run around. You don't eat anything.
Like go run around like, uh, like idiots onthe. You got to run off. the Captain Goddamn
Crunch or the poo berries that you were eating.Pooh The goddamn poo berries needed to be run
off on the asphalt. And here's the thing, itwas just long enough for us to run around and
(06:01):
get sweaty because you couldn't really havelike a game of basketball or it was too hot.
and you couldn't really do much of anythingbecause it wasn't enough time. You couldn't
get anything organized. No, so we're runningaround like fucking banshees. No organization.
So you come back and then you can't concentrateon anything for the first 15 minutes you're
back because you're just, you're soaked in sweat.Soaked in sweat? Or- In polyester, god damn-er.
(06:25):
In polyester, in our uniforms. Or it's the winterand you've gone and sweated and now you come
back in, now it's like. You're freezing cold.You're not really learning anything because
you're just miserable. No. And, and I honestly,I don't understand the thought process of recess.
I maybe it was to let the nuns smoke a cigaretteor, or a joint. How do you think they got through?
(06:46):
Let me tell you something right now. They werepuffing the. They were not on the gonge. And
let me tell you why. If those nuns were smokinggonge, we would have had a much better experience
with them than we did. Because they were eitheron. Coke or nothing because they were assholes.
All of them. Yeah, you're right. They weren'tmellow enough to be on the ganja. No, they
were not on the ganja. On the ganji's. Theywere not doing the doob. They weren't. They
(07:08):
were not passing the dutchie upon the left-handside. They weren't smoking the devil's lettuce.
They were not smoking the devil's lettuce. Theywere either, I don't know what they were doing.
Do you think that nuns are lesbian? I'm gladyou went there because the answer is 100%,
especially. The old nuns that we had, they wereall 70 plus. No, they're not lesbians. I think
(07:31):
they were. What, you don't think sister Eleanorand sister Noreen were like. Kathleen and Reagan
and all, they were sisters, by the way. Theywere sister sisters, did you know that? Sister
sisters? Yeah, they were sister sisters, theywere sister sisters. You know what, I, you
know what I. All three of them. Noreen, Kathleenand Elizabeth. Eleanor was. Sister sisters,
dude. They were hermanas, they were all related.I think I've seen them. They were hermanas
(07:55):
or sisters, sisters. Sisters, sisters. I thinkI remember two of them being sisters. I didn't
know all three were, but they were, oh man.Maybe I'm making that up. They were crotchety.
They were cranky. They were very cranky. Theymight've done well to hit a little, a little
bit. Yeah. Oh, I figured it out. Hit a little,
(08:18):
a little that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, theydidn't, I don't think they hit either, frankly,
because I don't think they were getting any.And I don't think they were doing any. And
between those two things, they were assholes.They probably were just eating a Swanson's
frozen dinner in front of a Wheel of Fortune.These were the dumbest nuns that have ever
been tasked They shouldn't have been teaching.with teaching the youths of the Americas. Oh,
(08:42):
they did not know how to teach properly. I thinkwe may have They need to have real teachers.
from the dregs, the dregs of the habit-wearingculture. But they didn't wear habits either.
And they taught everything, all subjects, allthe way through eighth grade, that they were
not really, they were not trained to be ableto do. They didn't know what they were doing.
These are the three nuns that were between them.The one who read books upside down, Sister
(09:07):
Kathleen. Kathleen, that's right. Kathleen wasso stupid. She was the one that looked like
Heatmizer. I'm Mr. Heat. I'll tell you what,I've never thought of that, but honestly, I'm
Mr. Green Christmas. That's like exactly whatshe looked like is the crazy. The weird thing
about this is literally if you go back, likeif you're listening to this and you look up
(09:29):
Heatmizer from the, what's the name of the guyswho made those Croft and no, it wasn't some
Mark. It was the, it was the Rudolph. Yeah,I know, but it was, it was one of those Christmas
specials, but there's the name of the guys thatmade those all like all of those, but I can't
remember their names. Anyway. is exactly whatSister Kathleen looked like. 100% that hair,
(09:50):
the face, the wrinkle. And Sister Elizabethhad skin hanging off of her in places that
you did not want to see. Noreen? Elizabeth.No, Noreen had no chin. Noreen had no chin.
Elizabeth had lots of skin. It's amazing howmuch skin she had. Layered it on. But she was
awful and mean, and they were all mean. Whywere they so mean? Why were they mean? It was,
(10:12):
it was, it was. Why were they coming in withthat attitude? Jesus, it was, it was. Listen,
I read the Bible. Yeah. We went to Catholicschool, Jesus was not mean. No, but they had,
they, they jammed the fear of God. Not Jesus.Into us. They just, they, they just, they bitch
slapped us with Jesus. They Jesus slapped us.Is what they did, they G slapped us. Well,
(10:36):
that's how they. J slapped, we were J slapped.That's how they tried to keep us in line was
with the fear. With the J-slapping. Of J-slapping.Yeah. You don't do your studies? Paul Sethy
got slapped for real by Sister Noreen. Do youremember that? I do not. You don't remember
when Paul Sethy got slapped by Sister Noreen?I forget that one. Did I tell you I ran into
(10:57):
Paul Sethy? At the Polo Grounds? Yes, yes, atthe, yes. It's very nice to see him actually.
Wait, Sister Noreen, we were. basically torturingthis woman at this point because we knew we
had her number as a class. We were like, she'san idiot and we're going to like harass her
and ask her all kinds of questions and not listenand can goof around and throw paper airplanes
(11:19):
and she was losing it. And I, Paul said somethingto her and I remember it was and she slapped
him across the face. See if that happened nowthey would just take her out and hang her.
They didn't hang her but she didn't teach usanymore. She did end up in the convent. And
there were all kinds of rumors. Or so you think.Right, maybe they hung her. Right, they could
(11:41):
have hung her. But rumors abounded. I rememberthat. Well, you know, you can't go just slapping
kids. You just can't go slapping kids. Not now.As a nun, you certainly could. You used to
be able to slap kids. Yeah. My mother tellsme, my mother went to a Catholic school in
Brooklyn. And she's told me multiple stories.One time a kid got the glasses slapped right
(12:05):
off his face, black and blue, broke his glasses.The nun slapped the shit out of him. She was
horrified. And that's multiple stories of storieslike that from my mother from Catholic school.
I think that's why we had recess actually, hadnothing to do with us as kids. Is that you
gotta get away from the nuns for a minute. Andthey need to get away from us because they
were about to slap us. They were gonna killus, right. So figure you- Because corporal
(12:26):
punishment had been outlawed by the time wewere in school. Right, so we started school
eight, and by the time you have recess, it'sonly been an hour and a half. That's all the
longer they could deal with us. And then it'swhat, noon, 12, 30, we got a lunch. Which is
a little longer. Oh no, lunch was a lot longer.Lunch was like 45 minutes. Hold on, I remember
lunch was even longer than that and then theyshortened it. It was an hour, I think, to begin
(12:49):
with. It was an hour and something and thenit was 50 minutes. Yeah, they shortened it.
So what happened was. You were on the council?I was not on the council, but I just remember
that. As we got older, eating was less important.Oh my God. Like we wanted to play. Yeah, right.
So it used to be you'd get out there and likeyou'd spend all your time eating and socializing
(13:12):
and hanging out when you were young. No, whenwe got older, we were not organized games.
How fast can I wolf down this PB&J, Yeah, wewere really into the organized games. suck
down my Capri Sun, eat my donut gems. Right,so the games, the games- By the way, Yeah?
quick. Quick, quick quiz. I mean, please. Donutgems came in a little pack of like, Yeah, of
(13:33):
course, everybody. Six or eight, yeah. You justwant to. Right, yeah, you take the whole sleeve.
Slam them down. So they had different flavors.What was your favorite? Powdered. I was a crumb
guy. Oh, those were good. Crumbs were fuckinggood. I may change my answer. And this is not
a common thing for me, as you know. I do. Istick to my guns. Yeah, you stick to your powdered.
But honestly, now that you remember, right?I'm maybe going with crumb. I bet you can taste
(13:57):
it right now. Are they hostess? Were they hostess?Oh yeah, but I can taste that. It's a very
specific taste. So synthetic. I can feel thesynthesis of inorganic material. I loved getting
a sleeve of crumb. Afterward. And then. Theafterbirth. The afterbirth. And then washing
(14:19):
it down with a you-hoo. metallic chocolate water.But no, here's the best part of the crumb is
that you end up with crumb. Yeah, you get extra,it's like extra doughnut. Uh huh. The powder,
no. And you pull it up, you hold one end withone finger and one thumb. Oh, they're so glorious.
And you pull the back end with another fingerand thumb and you pour it down an open mouth.
(14:41):
And what would usually happen is the crumbsget stuck in your throat and you would cough
like. Right. No, that was worse with the powder.But we were trying to eat everything so fast.
That's possible. Like 10 minutes to five minutesto eat. So that we could get to be organized.
So we had 45 minutes and play jungle ball. Jungleball. Well, jungle ball was one of the games
we played. We also played kickball, a lot ofkickball. A lot of kickball. Do you want to
(15:01):
quickly go over the rules of jungle ball? Yeah,there are no rules. Right, exactly. That's
why it's quick. But you know- It was basketball.It's amazing. With no rules. For a game that
had no rules, we had a basketball and a hoop,and I think we played half court. We did. Okay.
So we played half court with a ball and a hoopand like shit ton of boys. I don't think many
girls did. No, no, because girls are doing somethingelse. Because even though it was Catholic school
(15:24):
and they weren't really watching us that closelyby the time we were six, seven, eighth grade,
we were we were pretty violent. Oh, we were.So the girls weren't getting anywhere. We were
so violent. You know what the girls were doing?What were they doing? I don't remember. Well,
at least the cheerleaders were busy workingon their dance routines to I have the tiger.
Survivors, I have the tiger. Oh my God, dude,I can't believe I said that before you said
(15:47):
that, that's amazing. You know why? Becausethey did, they played that song 85 billion
motherfucking times on the boom box with thecassette. I can't believe I. They must've had
12 fucking copies of that cassette because theywore it out. And, and, and. Right, but we loved
it. And then it's like, it's very primal. Wait,but think about how primal that is. Here you
have a group of young women. Rising up. Prettypubescent or pubescent. We were. Pubescent
(16:12):
yeah, we were pubescent girls that are you werepeople dancing to eye of the tiger this song
about you know violence and Male like kind ofenergy and then here we are beating the shit
out of each other trying to get a ball intoa hoop There's something so tribal about all
of that. It's quite fascinating really Anyway,that was and that was that was lunch. That
(16:35):
was lunch, but wait, so here's what I was gonnasay about jungle ball It's amazing to me that
for a sport that we invented that had no rules,it was just well mannered. It was because there
were the most part rules. There were rules tono rules. It wasn't like no rules. No, right.
I mean, you couldn't like the idea was thatwhen you say no rules, it was basketball. It
(16:58):
was now we did tackle people to the ground.You did tackle people and we're on asphalt.
Yeah. Not a court like cement. It's as you didn'thave to dribble. Um, No dribbling. No tackling
was, but you couldn't like straight up hit somebodyin the face, although Thomas Cota did. Thomas
Cota did, but we'll get to that in a second.It was like, you were only a target. You were
only allowed to be taken out if you had theball. And what's amazing about that is it's
(17:22):
not like you could go up to somebody on theother team and punch them in the face, right?
You had to wait till somebody had the ball.When somebody had the ball, you could go after
them and try it. And if they had the ball, youcould destroy them as a human being. You know
what? You would harm them. And you know whatthat came from? You know what Jungle Ball came
from? That whole part that you just talked about.Smear the Queer. Smear the Queer. Yeah, boy,
(17:42):
that doesn't hold up. It doesn't hold up atall these days, but back then it did because
there was no hoop there. That was just so- Itdoes, you're right. It came directly from Smear
the Queer. Smear the Queer, it was just totallypolitically incorrect. But all that- Well yeah,
but we didn't think of that as gay. That wasn'tthe thought of Queer. No, no, all it was was,
I don't know why that name was that name. Idon't either, I don't know where it came from.
(18:05):
But the game was simple. somebody started witha ball and then you ran like all fucking hell
to literally kill them. And they ran away fromyou. Here's the question. It was like the most
dangerous game. You were like getting insectyou weren't getting shot. But we'd have a question
about Samir the Queer. I can't believe we'resaying this. I have a question about Samir
the Queer. What was the objective? You had theball. What were you trying to do? Just not
(18:27):
be killed? Yes. It was literally that. And atsome point, everybody had to take the ball.
So you couldn't just never take it. You grabbedthe ball and you just ran. It was. And then
when you got grabbed, like somebody would getyou, right? It was always Chad, because he
was so fast, right? He would just tackle youto the ground. Chad would knock you out. And
then you were done, and somebody else wouldtake the ball, and the whole thing would start
(18:49):
over. It was basically, you know. It was likeexerting. your willing your courage. What it
was it was early cardio. It got us full sprinting.No dude, it is so primal. Like when you think
about that, like what the fuck? And then andthen that morphed into Jungle ball. Jungle
ball, which was okay. Now we actually had agame. We put this into the And we had teams.
(19:12):
Yeah, you had teams and you had to put the ballinto the hoop. Where Samir the Queer was all
about whoever had the ball was dead. That'sall it was. It was a half an hour of just I
just want to add a little disclaimer again thatwe did use the word queer The word queer did
not mean gay to us at that not at all at all.It had nothing to do We didn't even know I
(19:33):
mean, we're too young. We're probably like whatyou know, and if it did mean that we didn't
have that We just knew what that that's whatthe game was called. It had nothing to do Yeah,
it was like we were we were just whoever hadthe ball was dead. Okay, that's all it could
be called anything It could be and then we turnedit into jungle where whoever had the ball was
dead, but it was teams. And you were tryingto get the ball in, and we did keep score.
(19:55):
Okay, that's a good game. Now. I remember thisvery, very clearly of all the stupid fucking
things to get teased for when you're a kid.Apple sauce? Apple sauce, but more so the drinks
we had. So you were talking about- Capri Sun?Exactly. the topic I would like to discuss
(20:18):
is Capri Sun. So when Capri Sun came out, thatshit. It's in a bag. Everybody wanted it. It
was in a bag. Wasn't in a bag before. Beforewe had juice boxes. Well, some of us still
had juice boxes. Oh. You know why? Because yourmom was buying juice boxes. Because they were
a whole fuck ton cheaper and she had couponsfor them. And Capri Sun was, they had. Which
(20:41):
by the way, your mom had a fucking Dewey decimalgoddamn system for coupons. My mom was a librarian,
so you know what? You're exactly fucking right.She exactly did. You should have seen her coupon
set up. It was fucking mad. I did! I rememberit! I think one year she kept track of her
savings and it was something ridiculous. LikeI mean it was like $2,500.
(21:09):
But dude, in 1983 to 82. She saved $475,000with coupons. Oh, on cake mix alone. Oh my
God, that's amazing. Give me your typical lunchthat was packed for you. Or you paid. when
(21:29):
you were a kid. We're talking fourth and sixthgrade. The one that I wanted or the one that
I got? No, no, the one you actually got. Whatdid you open up? You either had, you opened
your sack. Apple. You opened your brown bagor your brown bag. Brown bag, I was brown bagging
it too. Brown bagging it. Apple. What kind?Some sort of red, crispy apple. Probably a
red delicious, right? And it wasn't delicious.And you know what red delicious aren't? That's,
(21:53):
that's, God damn it. We have to have a wholeother episode on apples. On apples. Just on
Red Delicious, because Red Delicious applesare not! They're not delicious. Somebody needs
to change, what? No, they're tart, but not sotart that it's a thing. They're just not very
tasty. I am going, I'm gonna make it my fuckingjob from this day forward to get the name of
(22:18):
Red Delicious, Red Delicious Apples change tosomething else. Okay, well listen, let's just
say right now what you would call, what wouldyou call it? Fucking garbage. No, you gotta
do better than that. Like maybe say ass crisps.Ass, yeah. Yeah. By the way, complete side
note, don't wanna go into it. My brother usedto eat salami and peanut butter. Oh my God.
Okay, let's move away from that. I just hadto mention. Wait, really? Yeah. He would eat
(22:42):
a selenite butter sandwich? Disgusting. I wouldhave, PB&J was a big deal. So at PB&J, usually
some sort of chip. Yeah, oh chips. Yeah, I wouldhave some chips. So it was like Lay's, like
Lay's potato chip. I would often get a chip.Which seemed very generic back then, but I'm
down with the Lay's. That's what I would eat.I would literally eat the chips and throw away
(23:03):
the rest of the lunch. And then cookies. Andthere's people starving. I would have like
a couple Oreos. Oh, I didn't get cookies. Orchips ahoy or something like that. No cookies.
So look at that. So, and then a juice box. Soyou've got juice box. Sugar. You've got peanut
butter and jelly. The jelly is sugar. The breadis... Carb sugar. A little bit of healthy fat
with peanut butter. With peanut butter, that'sit. We've got our cookies, sugar. You got potato
(23:26):
chips, which is just empty carbs and salt. Yeah,huh? And then no wonder, like by the time we
finished lunch, we run around, we're all jackedup. We get back into school for like the next
hour. We're about to pass out because we'vebeen running around and we're on this fucking
sugar high. Three o'clock comes, we fuckinggo home. No wonder we didn't learn a goddamn
(23:49):
thing. Yeah, I mean, how were you supposed to?It was really scary. Yeah, they jacked us up.
They filled us with more crap at lunch. I don'tthink I had one healthy thing in a lunch in
five years. We were basically pinatas in theseven. Yeah, you could've hit us with a sharp,
not sharp stick, hit us with a dull stick andjust sugar would pour out of us. That's what
(24:09):
we were. We were living pinatas. And how wewere able to concentrate and even learn basic
arithmetic is beyond me. We're supposed to goback in and learn. No nutrition. Now they call
it nutrition because they're probably actuallyeating nutritious things. We were just sucking
down sugar. We were jacked on sugar and carbs.We go back in and you've got turkey nun and
(24:35):
freaking heat miser trying to teach us lessons.No wonder we turned out like we did. Yeah,
it's embarrassing. Yeah. Fucked by lunch.
(24:56):
Thanks for listening to the Sons of San Fernando.Don't forget to hit that subscribe or follow
button in your favorite podcast app so you don'tmiss an episode. Drop us a review, we'd love
to hear from you. If you'd like to support theSons of San Fernando, the best way is to share
the show. We'll catch you on the next episode.
I'm Tony. I'm Eric. We are the sons of San Fernando.But we've been friends for over 40 years. And
grew up together in the San Fernando Valley.These are the stories of our experiences as
adventurous Gen X latchkey slackers from backin the day. And don't forget to hit the follow
or subscribe button so you don't miss an episode.
(00:28):
of our existence as human beings and we suckat them. And it starts from infancy and into
childhood and into school and then they getcemented in school, especially at recess. That's
when your relationships, that is how you learnto deal with human interactions for the rest
of your life. Recess is the very first timewe do that because you go into school, you
(00:51):
start school, you're in class. And then whatthey give you like what an hour or two of class
and then 15 goddamn minutes. And then they letyou out into the world. Well into the yard.
Or in our case. A prison yard. Yeah, we knowwe did. Oh, so okay. So let's paint that picture.
So we were at a Catholic. We were to Catholicschool school. We went to Our Lady of Grace
(01:16):
in California. There's no grass. No, it wasall ash. That's why OLG was coined. A prison.
Our Lovely Grass. Our Lovely Grass, becausethere weren't any. It did feel like a prison.
There were a lot of gates, a lot of asphalt.A lot of gates and asphalt. It's a prison,
like a prison with nuns. Yeah. That should havebeen the subtitle. O-L-G, prison with nuns.
(01:36):
Exactly. I actually, have you seen that movie?Prison with Nuns? It's great, yeah. It stars.
Beverly D'Angelo. And John Travolta. I stillwanna see that movie. Bev and Johnny in prison
with none. Prison with none. Yeah, no, that'sa great 70s. Bev and Johnny. Like they're your
(01:58):
best friends. I love Bev. I was a big BeverlyD'Angelo fan for a long time. She was in hair,
which I loved and have seen a billion times.And then of course, the vacations. Brilliant.
Okay, so we're in a prison. We're in a prison,yeah. Because there's nothing but asphalt.
And you're having to, you know, you start schooland you're having to learn whatever you read.
Well, you're having to learn. I'm having todaydream. Okay, fair enough. Yeah. But then,
(02:22):
yeah, right. So socializing, the very firstsocializing you really learn is in recess because
now you're out. Yeah. I mean, not really supervised.I mean, they're watching to make sure you don't
kill each other. Shiv, shiv another kid. Youdon't want to shiv a kid. Yeah, shiv a kid.
You don't want to shiv a kid. No, but that soundslike a Jewish rite of passing. Shiv a kid?
(02:43):
Yeah. The Shiva kid. On the day of his Shivakid. Yes, exactly. But that's where you grow
and you learn relationships. And for 15 minutesat a time and recess. Yeah, was it 15? I have
a thought in my head that it was shorter than15. It might have been, it might have been
10. Like we got 15 when we were young and thenas we got older, they cut it down to 12 minutes.
(03:06):
They may have, but what happened was you would,you know, generally before I would go to school,
at least, I'd have like a. big bowl of sugarycereal. Mm, me too. So I'd be all hopped up
on sugar. Which was your favorite? What cerealwere you eating? It was a cereal of choice.
It was a big Cookie Crisp fan. No, no, no. Backin those days, no. Come on. Cookie Crisp might
(03:26):
not have been around. Nonsense. It would havebeen... That's absolutely nonsense. No, I know
what it was. What? Boo Berry. Boo Berry? BooBerry. My brother was a big Count Chocula fan.
I was down with the Boo Berry. You know, BooBerry's not that far off from Captain Crunch.
berries. Basically the same thing. Yeah, no,we wouldn't. We went heavy Boo Berry. Not a
(03:48):
lucky charm guy? I, yeah, but I was the onewho, like, I'm sure a lot of kids, I'd pick
out all the marshmallows and eat the- How areour parents so stupid? Absolute morons giving
their children bowls of sugar. The same onesthat were loading us up with margarine. dinner
time. Margarine, margarine! Just a big stickof margarine. Here, put it on a plate, eat
(04:12):
it. It's good for you. Sugar and chemicals,that was my diet as a child. How we are still
alive is a fucking miracle. Well, right now.Give it 10 minutes, which is the length of
a recess. Oh God, it felt like less. So it wouldbe all hopped up on sugar from breakfast. You'd
go in, you'd be trying to learn a thing or twoand they're like, okay, you can't pay attention
(04:34):
for more than a couple hours. We're going tosend you out into the yard to run around like
fucking apes on the asphalt, on the asphalt,which is a billion degrees. Oh yeah. That's
right. Summer. Yeah. You know, it's funny becauseit was always like, and when we went back to
school in September, it was just 108 outsidein the Valley and back then, you know, there
were no emissions laws. So you're talking about,it was a bad, Oh, you were sucking. Oh, it
(04:57):
was an air quality warning day every day. Everyday. Yeah. It was just how bad was it? Yeah.
But the But the thing is, is like the asphaltitself was probably 140. Yeah. You know, if
you measured the actual temperature of the asphalt.I did with my tongue. I just, right on there.
Yeah, no, that's good. And at recess, you didn't,as I remember, you couldn't, I don't think
(05:18):
we could have any food. So we already have,I don't think so. I think. What if you had
food that you brought? They went, the nuns wouldfucking whack you. Right? We did have rules
about that. Yeah. Which is crazy sustenance,nutrition. They wanted to wait. They didn't
want you to ruin your lunch. You know, it'sfunny is that now that is called nutrition.
The break itself is called nutrition. It's callednutrition. Yeah. But when we were in school,
(05:41):
it was just, it was get the fuck out for a whileand go run around. You don't eat anything.
Like go run around like, uh, like idiots onthe. You got to run off. the Captain Goddamn
Crunch or the poo berries that you were eating.Pooh The goddamn poo berries needed to be run
off on the asphalt. And here's the thing, itwas just long enough for us to run around and
(06:01):
get sweaty because you couldn't really havelike a game of basketball or it was too hot.
and you couldn't really do much of anythingbecause it wasn't enough time. You couldn't
get anything organized. No, so we're runningaround like fucking banshees. No organization.
So you come back and then you can't concentrateon anything for the first 15 minutes you're
back because you're just, you're soaked in sweat.Soaked in sweat? Or- In polyester, god damn-er.
(06:25):
In polyester, in our uniforms. Or it's the winterand you've gone and sweated and now you come
back in, now it's like. You're freezing cold.You're not really learning anything because
you're just miserable. No. And, and I honestly,I don't understand the thought process of recess.
I maybe it was to let the nuns smoke a cigaretteor, or a joint. How do you think they got through?
(06:46):
Let me tell you something right now. They werepuffing the. They were not on the gonge. And
let me tell you why. If those nuns were smokinggonge, we would have had a much better experience
with them than we did. Because they were eitheron. Coke or nothing because they were assholes.
All of them. Yeah, you're right. They weren'tmellow enough to be on the ganja. No, they
were not on the ganja. On the ganji's. Theywere not doing the doob. They weren't. They
(07:08):
were not passing the dutchie upon the left-handside. They weren't smoking the devil's lettuce.
They were not smoking the devil's lettuce. Theywere either, I don't know what they were doing.
Do you think that nuns are lesbian? I'm gladyou went there because the answer is 100%,
especially. The old nuns that we had, they wereall 70 plus. No, they're not lesbians. I think
(07:31):
they were. What, you don't think sister Eleanorand sister Noreen were like. Kathleen and Reagan
and all, they were sisters, by the way. Theywere sister sisters, did you know that? Sister
sisters? Yeah, they were sister sisters, theywere sister sisters. You know what, I, you
know what I. All three of them. Noreen, Kathleenand Elizabeth. Eleanor was. Sister sisters,
dude. They were hermanas, they were all related.I think I've seen them. They were hermanas
(07:55):
or sisters, sisters. Sisters, sisters. I thinkI remember two of them being sisters. I didn't
know all three were, but they were, oh man.Maybe I'm making that up. They were crotchety.
They were cranky. They were very cranky. Theymight've done well to hit a little, a little
bit. Yeah. Oh, I figured it out. Hit a little,
(08:18):
a little that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, theydidn't, I don't think they hit either, frankly,
because I don't think they were getting any.And I don't think they were doing any. And
between those two things, they were assholes.They probably were just eating a Swanson's
frozen dinner in front of a Wheel of Fortune.These were the dumbest nuns that have ever
been tasked They shouldn't have been teaching.with teaching the youths of the Americas. Oh,
(08:42):
they did not know how to teach properly. I thinkwe may have They need to have real teachers.
from the dregs, the dregs of the habit-wearingculture. But they didn't wear habits either.
And they taught everything, all subjects, allthe way through eighth grade, that they were
not really, they were not trained to be ableto do. They didn't know what they were doing.
These are the three nuns that were between them.The one who read books upside down, Sister
(09:07):
Kathleen. Kathleen, that's right. Kathleen wasso stupid. She was the one that looked like
Heatmizer. I'm Mr. Heat. I'll tell you what,I've never thought of that, but honestly, I'm
Mr. Green Christmas. That's like exactly whatshe looked like is the crazy. The weird thing
about this is literally if you go back, likeif you're listening to this and you look up
(09:29):
Heatmizer from the, what's the name of the guyswho made those Croft and no, it wasn't some
Mark. It was the, it was the Rudolph. Yeah,I know, but it was, it was one of those Christmas
specials, but there's the name of the guys thatmade those all like all of those, but I can't
remember their names. Anyway. is exactly whatSister Kathleen looked like. 100% that hair,
(09:50):
the face, the wrinkle. And Sister Elizabethhad skin hanging off of her in places that
you did not want to see. Noreen? Elizabeth.No, Noreen had no chin. Noreen had no chin.
Elizabeth had lots of skin. It's amazing howmuch skin she had. Layered it on. But she was
awful and mean, and they were all mean. Whywere they so mean? Why were they mean? It was,
(10:12):
it was, it was. Why were they coming in withthat attitude? Jesus, it was, it was. Listen,
I read the Bible. Yeah. We went to Catholicschool, Jesus was not mean. No, but they had,
they, they jammed the fear of God. Not Jesus.Into us. They just, they, they just, they bitch
slapped us with Jesus. They Jesus slapped us.Is what they did, they G slapped us. Well,
(10:36):
that's how they. J slapped, we were J slapped.That's how they tried to keep us in line was
with the fear. With the J-slapping. Of J-slapping.Yeah. You don't do your studies? Paul Sethy
got slapped for real by Sister Noreen. Do youremember that? I do not. You don't remember
when Paul Sethy got slapped by Sister Noreen?I forget that one. Did I tell you I ran into
(10:57):
Paul Sethy? At the Polo Grounds? Yes, yes, atthe, yes. It's very nice to see him actually.
Wait, Sister Noreen, we were. basically torturingthis woman at this point because we knew we
had her number as a class. We were like, she'san idiot and we're going to like harass her
and ask her all kinds of questions and not listenand can goof around and throw paper airplanes
(11:19):
and she was losing it. And I, Paul said somethingto her and I remember it was and she slapped
him across the face. See if that happened nowthey would just take her out and hang her.
They didn't hang her but she didn't teach usanymore. She did end up in the convent. And
there were all kinds of rumors. Or so you think.Right, maybe they hung her. Right, they could
(11:41):
have hung her. But rumors abounded. I rememberthat. Well, you know, you can't go just slapping
kids. You just can't go slapping kids. Not now.As a nun, you certainly could. You used to
be able to slap kids. Yeah. My mother tellsme, my mother went to a Catholic school in
Brooklyn. And she's told me multiple stories.One time a kid got the glasses slapped right
(12:05):
off his face, black and blue, broke his glasses.The nun slapped the shit out of him. She was
horrified. And that's multiple stories of storieslike that from my mother from Catholic school.
I think that's why we had recess actually, hadnothing to do with us as kids. Is that you
gotta get away from the nuns for a minute. Andthey need to get away from us because they
were about to slap us. They were gonna killus, right. So figure you- Because corporal
(12:26):
punishment had been outlawed by the time wewere in school. Right, so we started school
eight, and by the time you have recess, it'sonly been an hour and a half. That's all the
longer they could deal with us. And then it'swhat, noon, 12, 30, we got a lunch. Which is
a little longer. Oh no, lunch was a lot longer.Lunch was like 45 minutes. Hold on, I remember
lunch was even longer than that and then theyshortened it. It was an hour, I think, to begin
(12:49):
with. It was an hour and something and thenit was 50 minutes. Yeah, they shortened it.
So what happened was. You were on the council?I was not on the council, but I just remember
that. As we got older, eating was less important.Oh my God. Like we wanted to play. Yeah, right.
So it used to be you'd get out there and likeyou'd spend all your time eating and socializing
(13:12):
and hanging out when you were young. No, whenwe got older, we were not organized games.
How fast can I wolf down this PB&J, Yeah, wewere really into the organized games. suck
down my Capri Sun, eat my donut gems. Right,so the games, the games- By the way, Yeah?
quick. Quick, quick quiz. I mean, please. Donutgems came in a little pack of like, Yeah, of
(13:33):
course, everybody. Six or eight, yeah. You justwant to. Right, yeah, you take the whole sleeve.
Slam them down. So they had different flavors.What was your favorite? Powdered. I was a crumb
guy. Oh, those were good. Crumbs were fuckinggood. I may change my answer. And this is not
a common thing for me, as you know. I do. Istick to my guns. Yeah, you stick to your powdered.
But honestly, now that you remember, right?I'm maybe going with crumb. I bet you can taste
(13:57):
it right now. Are they hostess? Were they hostess?Oh yeah, but I can taste that. It's a very
specific taste. So synthetic. I can feel thesynthesis of inorganic material. I loved getting
a sleeve of crumb. Afterward. And then. Theafterbirth. The afterbirth. And then washing
(14:19):
it down with a you-hoo. metallic chocolate water.But no, here's the best part of the crumb is
that you end up with crumb. Yeah, you get extra,it's like extra doughnut. Uh huh. The powder,
no. And you pull it up, you hold one end withone finger and one thumb. Oh, they're so glorious.
And you pull the back end with another fingerand thumb and you pour it down an open mouth.
(14:41):
And what would usually happen is the crumbsget stuck in your throat and you would cough
like. Right. No, that was worse with the powder.But we were trying to eat everything so fast.
That's possible. Like 10 minutes to five minutesto eat. So that we could get to be organized.
So we had 45 minutes and play jungle ball. Jungleball. Well, jungle ball was one of the games
we played. We also played kickball, a lot ofkickball. A lot of kickball. Do you want to
(15:01):
quickly go over the rules of jungle ball? Yeah,there are no rules. Right, exactly. That's
why it's quick. But you know- It was basketball.It's amazing. With no rules. For a game that
had no rules, we had a basketball and a hoop,and I think we played half court. We did. Okay.
So we played half court with a ball and a hoopand like shit ton of boys. I don't think many
girls did. No, no, because girls are doing somethingelse. Because even though it was Catholic school
(15:24):
and they weren't really watching us that closelyby the time we were six, seven, eighth grade,
we were we were pretty violent. Oh, we were.So the girls weren't getting anywhere. We were
so violent. You know what the girls were doing?What were they doing? I don't remember. Well,
at least the cheerleaders were busy workingon their dance routines to I have the tiger.
Survivors, I have the tiger. Oh my God, dude,I can't believe I said that before you said
(15:47):
that, that's amazing. You know why? Becausethey did, they played that song 85 billion
motherfucking times on the boom box with thecassette. I can't believe I. They must've had
12 fucking copies of that cassette because theywore it out. And, and, and. Right, but we loved
it. And then it's like, it's very primal. Wait,but think about how primal that is. Here you
have a group of young women. Rising up. Prettypubescent or pubescent. We were. Pubescent
(16:12):
yeah, we were pubescent girls that are you werepeople dancing to eye of the tiger this song
about you know violence and Male like kind ofenergy and then here we are beating the shit
out of each other trying to get a ball intoa hoop There's something so tribal about all
of that. It's quite fascinating really Anyway,that was and that was that was lunch. That
(16:35):
was lunch, but wait, so here's what I was gonnasay about jungle ball It's amazing to me that
for a sport that we invented that had no rules,it was just well mannered. It was because there
were the most part rules. There were rules tono rules. It wasn't like no rules. No, right.
I mean, you couldn't like the idea was thatwhen you say no rules, it was basketball. It
(16:58):
was now we did tackle people to the ground.You did tackle people and we're on asphalt.
Yeah. Not a court like cement. It's as you didn'thave to dribble. Um, No dribbling. No tackling
was, but you couldn't like straight up hit somebodyin the face, although Thomas Cota did. Thomas
Cota did, but we'll get to that in a second.It was like, you were only a target. You were
only allowed to be taken out if you had theball. And what's amazing about that is it's
(17:22):
not like you could go up to somebody on theother team and punch them in the face, right?
You had to wait till somebody had the ball.When somebody had the ball, you could go after
them and try it. And if they had the ball, youcould destroy them as a human being. You know
what? You would harm them. And you know whatthat came from? You know what Jungle Ball came
from? That whole part that you just talked about.Smear the Queer. Smear the Queer. Yeah, boy,
(17:42):
that doesn't hold up. It doesn't hold up atall these days, but back then it did because
there was no hoop there. That was just so- Itdoes, you're right. It came directly from Smear
the Queer. Smear the Queer, it was just totallypolitically incorrect. But all that- Well yeah,
but we didn't think of that as gay. That wasn'tthe thought of Queer. No, no, all it was was,
I don't know why that name was that name. Idon't either, I don't know where it came from.
(18:05):
But the game was simple. somebody started witha ball and then you ran like all fucking hell
to literally kill them. And they ran away fromyou. Here's the question. It was like the most
dangerous game. You were like getting insectyou weren't getting shot. But we'd have a question
about Samir the Queer. I can't believe we'resaying this. I have a question about Samir
the Queer. What was the objective? You had theball. What were you trying to do? Just not
(18:27):
be killed? Yes. It was literally that. And atsome point, everybody had to take the ball.
So you couldn't just never take it. You grabbedthe ball and you just ran. It was. And then
when you got grabbed, like somebody would getyou, right? It was always Chad, because he
was so fast, right? He would just tackle youto the ground. Chad would knock you out. And
then you were done, and somebody else wouldtake the ball, and the whole thing would start
(18:49):
over. It was basically, you know. It was likeexerting. your willing your courage. What it
was it was early cardio. It got us full sprinting.No dude, it is so primal. Like when you think
about that, like what the fuck? And then andthen that morphed into Jungle ball. Jungle
ball, which was okay. Now we actually had agame. We put this into the And we had teams.
(19:12):
Yeah, you had teams and you had to put the ballinto the hoop. Where Samir the Queer was all
about whoever had the ball was dead. That'sall it was. It was a half an hour of just I
just want to add a little disclaimer again thatwe did use the word queer The word queer did
not mean gay to us at that not at all at all.It had nothing to do We didn't even know I
(19:33):
mean, we're too young. We're probably like whatyou know, and if it did mean that we didn't
have that We just knew what that that's whatthe game was called. It had nothing to do Yeah,
it was like we were we were just whoever hadthe ball was dead. Okay, that's all it could
be called anything It could be and then we turnedit into jungle where whoever had the ball was
dead, but it was teams. And you were tryingto get the ball in, and we did keep score.
(19:55):
Okay, that's a good game. Now. I remember thisvery, very clearly of all the stupid fucking
things to get teased for when you're a kid.Apple sauce? Apple sauce, but more so the drinks
we had. So you were talking about- Capri Sun?Exactly. the topic I would like to discuss
(20:18):
is Capri Sun. So when Capri Sun came out, thatshit. It's in a bag. Everybody wanted it. It
was in a bag. Wasn't in a bag before. Beforewe had juice boxes. Well, some of us still
had juice boxes. Oh. You know why? Because yourmom was buying juice boxes. Because they were
a whole fuck ton cheaper and she had couponsfor them. And Capri Sun was, they had. Which
(20:41):
by the way, your mom had a fucking Dewey decimalgoddamn system for coupons. My mom was a librarian,
so you know what? You're exactly fucking right.She exactly did. You should have seen her coupon
set up. It was fucking mad. I did! I rememberit! I think one year she kept track of her
savings and it was something ridiculous. LikeI mean it was like $2,500.
(21:09):
But dude, in 1983 to 82. She saved $475,000with coupons. Oh, on cake mix alone. Oh my
God, that's amazing. Give me your typical lunchthat was packed for you. Or you paid. when
(21:29):
you were a kid. We're talking fourth and sixthgrade. The one that I wanted or the one that
I got? No, no, the one you actually got. Whatdid you open up? You either had, you opened
your sack. Apple. You opened your brown bagor your brown bag. Brown bag, I was brown bagging
it too. Brown bagging it. Apple. What kind?Some sort of red, crispy apple. Probably a
red delicious, right? And it wasn't delicious.And you know what red delicious aren't? That's,
(21:53):
that's, God damn it. We have to have a wholeother episode on apples. On apples. Just on
Red Delicious, because Red Delicious applesare not! They're not delicious. Somebody needs
to change, what? No, they're tart, but not sotart that it's a thing. They're just not very
tasty. I am going, I'm gonna make it my fuckingjob from this day forward to get the name of
(22:18):
Red Delicious, Red Delicious Apples change tosomething else. Okay, well listen, let's just
say right now what you would call, what wouldyou call it? Fucking garbage. No, you gotta
do better than that. Like maybe say ass crisps.Ass, yeah. Yeah. By the way, complete side
note, don't wanna go into it. My brother usedto eat salami and peanut butter. Oh my God.
Okay, let's move away from that. I just hadto mention. Wait, really? Yeah. He would eat
(22:42):
a selenite butter sandwich? Disgusting. I wouldhave, PB&J was a big deal. So at PB&J, usually
some sort of chip. Yeah, oh chips. Yeah, I wouldhave some chips. So it was like Lay's, like
Lay's potato chip. I would often get a chip.Which seemed very generic back then, but I'm
down with the Lay's. That's what I would eat.I would literally eat the chips and throw away
(23:03):
the rest of the lunch. And then cookies. Andthere's people starving. I would have like
a couple Oreos. Oh, I didn't get cookies. Orchips ahoy or something like that. No cookies.
So look at that. So, and then a juice box. Soyou've got juice box. Sugar. You've got peanut
butter and jelly. The jelly is sugar. The breadis... Carb sugar. A little bit of healthy fat
with peanut butter. With peanut butter, that'sit. We've got our cookies, sugar. You got potato
(23:26):
chips, which is just empty carbs and salt. Yeah,huh? And then no wonder, like by the time we
finished lunch, we run around, we're all jackedup. We get back into school for like the next
hour. We're about to pass out because we'vebeen running around and we're on this fucking
sugar high. Three o'clock comes, we fuckinggo home. No wonder we didn't learn a goddamn
(23:49):
thing. Yeah, I mean, how were you supposed to?It was really scary. Yeah, they jacked us up.
They filled us with more crap at lunch. I don'tthink I had one healthy thing in a lunch in
five years. We were basically pinatas in theseven. Yeah, you could've hit us with a sharp,
not sharp stick, hit us with a dull stick andjust sugar would pour out of us. That's what
(24:09):
we were. We were living pinatas. And how wewere able to concentrate and even learn basic
arithmetic is beyond me. We're supposed to goback in and learn. No nutrition. Now they call
it nutrition because they're probably actuallyeating nutritious things. We were just sucking
down sugar. We were jacked on sugar and carbs.We go back in and you've got turkey nun and
(24:35):
freaking heat miser trying to teach us lessons.No wonder we turned out like we did. Yeah,
it's embarrassing. Yeah. Fucked by lunch.
(24:56):
Thanks for listening to the Sons of San Fernando.Don't forget to hit that subscribe or follow
button in your favorite podcast app so you don'tmiss an episode. Drop us a review, we'd love
to hear from you. If you'd like to support theSons of San Fernando, the best way is to share
the show. We'll catch you on the next episode.
Popular Podcasts
Cold Case Files: Miami
Joyce Sapp, 76; Bryan Herrera, 16; and Laurance Webb, 32—three Miami residents whose lives were stolen in brutal, unsolved homicides.  Cold Case Files: Miami follows award‑winning radio host and City of Miami Police reserve officer  Enrique Santos as he partners with the department’s Cold Case Homicide Unit, determined family members, and the advocates who spend their lives fighting for justice for the victims who can no longer fight for themselves.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.