EP007: You Are Not Who You Think You Are — Your Thoughts, Beliefs and Emotions Do Not Define You with Noel Wax, CEO Groundswell Group

The last two episodes covered the competitive, one-sided, optimized-for-profit nature of the tech industry and the tools it produced to perpetuate its own wealth, as well as the rise in popularity of meditation, which has the side-effect of enabling the possibility of peaceful opposing beliefs, and shrinking the divide between ‘us’ and ‘them.’

 

Today’s topic is on the sense of self, who we think we are versus the perception others have of us and where, within those often opposing concepts, lies the truth.

 

Noel Wax, CEO of the Groundswell group and long time friend of Tony’s, joins the show today to shed some light on why he sees himself as an introvert when this comes as a huge surprise for Tony and many, many other people — he also shares a cool hack on how to seem super extroverted when you’re really not.

 

Key Takeaways

 

[:09] Tony introduces Noel Wax and launches the conversation on the sense of self as perceived by the individual as well as by others and the ramifications that these often conflicting views entail.

 

The edge of a precipice [2:40] Tony, Noel, and Ron agree that the general feeling and energy of current times feel like an oncoming paradigm shift.

 

A telling webinar [5:40] Tony shares the recent moment he realized that his long-time friend thought of himself as an introvert — 35 years of friendship pointed in the other direction, it seemed.

 

Tony offers an explanation: people’s perception of a person is reality. What he argues isn’t reality are the thoughts and beliefs and the sh*t that goes on in people’s heads.

 

Alignment and Nirvana [13:11] Noel contends that regardless of where reality lies, aiming to align what you think of yourself with what people think of you is an unattainable goal. Even if it sounds like nirvana.

 

The stakes hack [15:44] If you hear people say the same thing about you over and over, isn’t that you? Noel shares a personal experience where he came off as fearless — it’s a lot easier when there is nothing at stake.

 

The ice cream bar of the social self [19:21] Ron offers that this extroverted introvert conundrum may just be one of the many flavors of imposter syndrome.

 

The iterative cycles of you [22:55] Noel speaks to his inability to sit back and take in things before talking. And shares his perspectives on who Noel is today.

 

The tug of war for a shared reality [27:34] Ron talks about everyone living in the reality they created, trying to integrate their loved ones and create a kind of shared perception space. He also touches on how the economic pressures and social media contribute to the shaping of this perceived reality, so figuring out who you are today is difficult.

 

Being deliberate about the choices we make and how they impact what reality you create around yourself takes a lot of energy.

 

A continuum of self  [30:30] Tony spea