EP009: Pandemic Dating, Chasing Unicorns And Brutal Honesty

While a car metaphor may be a bit dated, it does seem to hit the nail on the head… Usually, we’re attracted to the shiny exterior, but when we look under the hood, the excitement may fall away. Would the reverse be possible then? Look under the hood, get excited, and then get attracted to the exterior? Are men and women different on that front?

 

Join Tony, Ron, and Andrea as they tackle all of those questions, almost naming names, always brutally honest, and often skirting the lines of what’s acceptable!

 

 

Key Takeaways

 

[2:53] Tony opens up the discussion with a metaphor leading to the question: can intellectual and emotional connection pave the way to sexual excitement for men, or is it only ever the other way around?

 

Andrea offers examples on how, for her, it absolutely does work that way… She’s met solid tens that lost their luster when she peeked under the hood and has also met sevens and eights whose maturity and intelligence turned them hot in a heartbeat!

 

Do men and women fundamentally differ in that aspect?

can you even find a partner that is deep, that is hot, and that has everything you want?

 

From religious constraints to fighting 10,000 years of history [5:04] Is it really on one person that rests the burden of your happiness and satisfaction?

 

Yin (feminine, right brain, sex) and Yang (masculine, left brain, conversation) are complementary energies. However, even if they are not gendered, shifting between yin and yang energies is hampered by social gender narratives. This prevents both men and women to express feminine and masculine energies at any given (and opportune) time to accommodate an eventual partner.

 

Doing the work [9:27] Andrea explains that “doing the work” at its core means identifying your common patterns in order to break them up and adapt them to the reality you’re looking to build around yourself.

 

The rules of engagement [7:25] Ron offers that the rules of engagement when it comes to what is expected of a relationship have been broken up by so many external forces like religion, society, and biology, that the diversity of backgrounds means that everyone has a particular “broken pattern” and that getting your puzzle piece to meet with that of another is difficult.

 

[12:44] “How much older do I have to get to realize that unicorns just don’t exist?”

 

Wisdom [13:00] Realising long-term satisfaction vs. a temporary high is the goal, but that means many things to different people — Margaret Mead suggested you should marry your first love, marry for family, and marry a third time for companionship.

 

Andrea enjoins that Tony should not be Margaret, Tony should be Tony.

 

Excitement [17:20] Dating is the pinnacle of excitement, but now that we can’t really do all that, people are getting more real.

 

The pandemic has exposed this American dating format — trips, fancy restaurants, events — as a fun culture but one that may be a little rotten.

 

Blond