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August 5, 2025 47 mins
Longtime listeners will know that we are old and decrepit. What we wouldn't give to have a time machine or a magic potion that would turn us younger or...
THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!

This week we take a look at the legends surround the Elixir of Life and the Fountain of Youth.  Is the Fountain of Youth really located in Florida? It would certainly explain the constant influx of retirees.

thanks for listening!

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
For those that aren't live. You're not hearing this live.
You're hearing it recorded when we released it. But we're
live for the people that are live. So you know,
it sucks to be for missing out, I guess, But
you know you listening to it live, I guess sucks
to be them because they don't get the wonderful magic
wizardry of Mateo's editing skills. So maybe you make out

(00:48):
in the long run. I don't know.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Yeah, you get to see behind the curtain and we're
both in our underwear.

Speaker 1 (00:54):
And listen to bitch about cables for fucking fifteen minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Oh man, dude, did you see that that spider man
I sent you? I swear to god they put me
in the spider verse that. My daughter was like, that's
not even funny, it's you.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Did you did? You got to post that if if
you have not, everybody needs to see that. It's goddamn amazing,
because it is. If I do, you do you have
a fully gray beard?

Speaker 2 (01:23):
These days, it's really really getting there. I have that
that big, weird doctor Strange stripe. It's like to the
left of my on my chin, but now like my sides,
my sideburns were great, but now that goes all the
way down into my beard.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
So it's like they say, look like tom Ariah.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Now yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
Yeah, okay, that's hilarious. Yeah. But for for those for
those that have not seen it, there's an issue of
the Spider Verse where there's an old man Peter Parker
swinging and he's wearing nothing but whitey tidies and his
Spider Man mask, but his huge, gray, flowing beard is

(02:05):
sticking out from under. It's fucking hilarious. It's it's god
damn mateo. If he ever gets his tattoos lasered off.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah, my wife literally was like, if you don't cosplay
this at Galaxy Con, I'll never forget.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yeah for real, for real, you need to do that.

Speaker 2 (02:21):
I don't want to get arrested being in my underwear
at it like a family function.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
You're you're at a goddamn comic book convention. You're not
gonna You're not gonna get arrested for wearing underwear. Like,
there's gonna be girls that are wearing nothing but pasties. Oh,
they're gonna be granted, they're probably gonna be a lot
prettier than you are. But there's somebody that's gonna think
you're pretty, Mateo. I know there's you're You're somebody's out there.

(02:45):
They're gonna be like, holy fuck, look at that underwear,
old man, spider Man. Yeah, give give her a little
thwip or two. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
We shall see. If I get to swip something, I
will walk around in my underwear.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
If they're swipping involved, I will keep my pants at home.
You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. So go
to the Galaxy Con meet Mateo.

Speaker 3 (03:16):
I might be in my end.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
You'll sign your underwear, yeah, or maybe you can sign.
Bring your pair of Haynes. They are preferably washed, and
he'll sign them.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
Yep. I'll be doing that now.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
We'll also sell them through Patreon, So if you're not
on Patreon, go to Patreon and get there so that
you can get your pair of signed Mateo underpants. God dude,
they're very limited and the worn ones are only available
for the top tier of Patreons. So if you want

(03:51):
the show worn underwears, you got to get in at
the top.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yeah, guaranteed to have been worn while recording the show.
We've got a certificate of authenticity that comes along with
it and everything. Oh boy, what a fucking start to
this one.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
Huh show funding?

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Yeah yeah, but we we have an actual showed. Guys.
We're not just here to talk about Mateo and his
underwears as much as that's what the people want.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
And the.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Nicholas in the chat is relating that her husband wants
ones that Mateo have peede in. So oh wow, okay,
hold on, Uh, that's that's gonna cost you a lot
more than top tier patreons there. As Mateo's underwear pimp,
we're gonna need top ballot for the pede In ones.

(04:50):
Why do you guys listen to this show? God damn it.
I appreciate that you do, but.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Why so this is how live shows are gonna go?

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Hmm yeah, well, I mean I'm sure somebody that's not
here will find some of this entertaining somewhere, maybe if
for those guys, for those of you listening at home,
I guess it's too late. I was going to tell
you to skip all the bullshit, but you're already here,
so I'm sorry, But let's get let's get to the subject.

(05:24):
Ahen here, how familiar are you with with the Fountain
of youth.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
It's one of those things that was already like a
myth by the time I was a younger kid reading
up on this stuff, like it's there's every culture has
a fountain youth. It's been used in nonfiction and fiction alike,
you know, So it's I don't know, it's just has
always been a cool idea. I don't think many religions,
at least Christianity doesn't mention an actual like fountain of youth.

Speaker 1 (05:54):
Well, actually, there is something kind of like the Fountain
of Youth in one of the gospels. Really oh yeah, yeah,
but I guess since it's in the gospel, it's it.
You could debate whether or not it was the actual
fountain or if maybe it was the u a miracle itself.

(06:16):
But yeah, in the Gospel of John, there was a
paralytic guy who was bathed in the pool of Bethesda
and he came out completely healed.

Speaker 3 (06:29):
But it said that, And.

Speaker 1 (06:31):
The reason I say, yeah, I get you can debate
whether it's an actual fountain youth or miracle or maybe both.
Maybe the miracle is at the fountain of youth exists,
but this particular pool, the Pool of Bethesda, Yes, Bethesda.
It was said that an angel would descend from heaven

(06:52):
to stir the waters, and then the first person that
stepped in the water after the angel stirred it would
be healed of whatever malady afflicted them. So whether whether
that's like a fountain of youth or a fountain of healing,
I guess you could debate whether or not the two

(07:14):
are the same, or if they serve different functions. There's
also the elixir of life thing is, and a lot
of times the elixir of life gets tied to the
fountain of youth, like it's water taken from the fountain
of youth and then you drink it. It's it's weird
that they kind of their histories kind of go. I

(07:36):
don't want to say they go hand in hand because
they're two different cultures, but they kind of sprung around
the same the same time one well, I say the
same time, but within a few centuries of each other.
But they both were talked about it before the common era.

(07:57):
So the first mention of the elixir of life was
actually found in the Epic of Gilgamesh from the second millennium,
But the first mentions of the Fountain of Youth were
mentioned by Herodotus in I believe the fourth century, might

(08:19):
have been the fifth century.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
So then the elk sor of life is something we
can run wild with with our imaginationthing sure what that
can mean, but officially, what is the fountain of youth
supposed to do? Is this the Lazarus pit is supposed
to heal.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Any wound or so it's not really a lazard's it's
supposed to provide longevity, is like, it's not a means
of immortality like the elixir of life is said to be.
But it's uh it it's something that So when it

(08:55):
was first brought up, it was brought up by Herodotus.
He referred to it as the land of the Macrobians.
And the Macrobians were a people. They were they're they're
considered a legendary people. But they were said to live
in the Horn of Africa, and at that point in
time it was thought that it was this was the

(09:19):
farthest self that the Greeks were aware of, So this
was like the the extreme selth of the known world, right,
And so he said that there was a special kind
of water in their kingdom that would grant them exceptional longevity.
It was said that they could live up to one

(09:40):
hundred and twenty years old, and all they did was
eat boiled flesh I'm presuming animal flesh. And they would
drink nothing but milk.

Speaker 3 (09:51):
But lactose tolerant.

Speaker 1 (09:54):
But they had a fountain that they would wash in,
and when they came out of the water, their skin
was glossy and sleek. He said, like they had been
bathed in oil. And they came out smelling like violets.
And it was said that this water in the fountain,

(10:17):
they considered it to be weak, which meant to them
that nothing would float in it. So no matter what
you put in it, whether it be wood or a leaf,
everything would sink to the bottom. But according to Herodotus,
this was the cause of their longevity, was bathing in

(10:37):
these waters, but with the elixir of life. It was
mentioned initially in the Epic of Gilgamesh. But he seeks
out this mythological figure named a Napa Chim, and he's
famous because he was the being in Mesopotamian mythology that

(11:00):
survived the great flood, which you know, the great flood
that's told about in every myth in religion across the world.
But he was directed to find a plant at the
bottom of the sea, and then from that plant they'd
be able to make the elixir of life. So Gogamesh
finds it, and before he can use it to make

(11:23):
the elixir of life, a serpent steals it from him,
and as a result of the serpents stealing this, all
serpents were then seen to have mystical forms of rejuvenation.
But it's it's this whole thing. It's I mean, it's
the epic of Ggamesh. We know it's not an actual
historical text, but it's so this would kind of be

(11:49):
like a mythological explanation for why snakes shed their skin basically,
and in a lot of mythology and folklore, snakes are
considered to be symbols of immortality or rejuvenation because of
their ability to shed their skin. They leave their skin
behind and they come out looking all brand new and sexy.

(12:12):
My my snake just shed today actually and took a
gargantuan dump while he was doing It was a fucking
literal shit show when I looked in there today. But
that's neither here nor they're not here to talk about
my snake shit. But it's just it. It's interesting how

(12:33):
these things that start in mythology kind of tend to
float in and out of myth, and then from myth
kind of get into like folklore, urban legend territory at
the time, and at some point sometimes people take it

(12:53):
as fact, and like the elixir of life, for instance,
they're it that the whole thing. Well, I shouldn't say
the whole thing, but the first recorded documentation of it was,
like I said, the Epic of Gygamesh. But in China
during the King dynasty, there was an alchemist named Zufu

(13:16):
who went out into the eastern seas with five hundred
young men and women to find the elixir of life
in the Penglai Mountains. He came back after his journey
and was not successful. So for some reason he decided
five hundred young men and five hundred young women weren't
going to do it. So if he really wanted to

(13:38):
do it, he had to get three thousand young girls
and boys and bring them on an expedition. Yeah, and
so he left on an expedition and was never heard
from again. There is a legend that says that he
found Japan. But maybe they all got eaten by a

(13:59):
sea monster.

Speaker 2 (14:00):
I don't know, or he was just a creepy old
bastard and he just parked it somewhere.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah, I don't want to think about that one. In
my mind, he either found Japan or got eaten by
a sea monster, and those are the only two options.
I will accept no other slander on Zufu's name. He
did not do the things that you were insinuating. He
fought bravely against the sea monster, who picked the children

(14:24):
off one by one until finally it was just Zufu
and the sea monster, and he sat there strapped to
the mast of the ship, screaming obscenities at the sea monster.
And then eventually the sea monster said, you know what,
fuck you, and he put a hole in the ship
and swam away, leaving Zufu to drown aboard the ship

(14:45):
after murdering his entire crew like a savage.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
Seeing my story, Zufu just like throws one child into
the water to the sea monster at a time, and
then he gets like thirty yards and it throws another
one out, and then finally finds Japan.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Slowly appeass it, and then he runs out of childney.
He's like, ah, shit, now what yep, No Zufu is
a hero, you son of a bitch? How dare you
a legendary hero? He probably used fucking magic too. He
was probably trying to shoot fireballs and shit.

Speaker 3 (15:17):
Yep.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
But he wasn't the only one in ancient China that
was trying to find an elixir of life or something
along those lines. There was, in fact, so much so
many different attempts at different sorts of substances that people
would would ingest or swallow. People were taking jade, cinnebar hematite,

(15:43):
fucking gold, the and the and they gold especially because
it was obviously of great value, but it was also uh,
the metal itself doesn't tarnish, so they were thinking, oh,
if we can, if we could mix golden with like

(16:03):
water or some other sort of concoction where we can
drink it, then you know, clearly we're gonna benefit from
that and we'll be fine. There was an alchemical book
that was going around in the fifth and sixth centuries

(16:24):
by a someone with someone referred to as the King
of Medicine. But he broke down all these details of
how to create elixirs of immortality and in his recipes
he included that some of the ingredients were mercury, sulfur arsenic,

(16:49):
as well as different metals or precious stones. But this
sort of thing got to be like so out of
control that there was actually a condition known as Chinese
alchemical elixir poisoning. Oh no, there was actually an emperor
in the Ming dynasty that died from drinking an elixir

(17:13):
of life that was created by his personal alchemist. Wolves
kind of kind of did the opposite thing there, Bud,
But I mean there's there's.

Speaker 3 (17:27):
He said, elix are alive.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
Oh they how many different weird things get sold for
like healing, like like oh, use this magnetic stone and
place it over your heart and your blood will flow better.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Yeah, there's actually or I don't know why my Instagram
feed all these like uh, it's like Amish medicine or
Appalachian medicine and just what you always wonder, like what
what did people, you know, one hundred years ago, two
hundred years ago do to treat all these different things?
And they sell big old books with the weirdest well,
oh yeah, some.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Of that stuff though, honestly, there's there there's a lot
of it that's that's complete bullshit. But there's there's some
of it that is actually true, like if you study
plants and and the benefits of specific herbs or how
to make tinctures out of out of roots from specific

(18:23):
plants that you can you really can gain benefits from it,
like like, for instance, dandelion root. If you make a
tincture out of dandelions, uh, it's good for your gut
health as well as inflammation.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
I just saw a report where they're saying that dandelion
root is one of the leading things that destroys cancer cells.
Actually really well, there you go. I just saw that yesterday.

Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, So I mean that there is definitely something too
to it. But also there's a lot of a lot
of bullshit out there, a lot of bullshit out there.

Speaker 3 (19:07):
Yeah, I bet there's.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, there's just like with everything else these days, that's
gotta be some dude that has a big backyard, probably
something like yours who the film shit and just saying
whatever the fuck he wants for views, you know.

Speaker 1 (19:21):
Yeah, I mean I don't even think you need a
big back hard you just need some space or a
lot of a lot of herbs don't even take up
a lot of space. If you have a picnic table,
you can have an herb garden, and dand lions are
free fucking everywhere. Just go out, bring a trowel and
a little bucket with you, and you'll gather all the

(19:42):
dandelions need. The leaves are also really really good for
you to eat and salad.

Speaker 3 (19:47):
Yeah, I've heard that.

Speaker 1 (19:48):
I wouldn't know anything about that. I'm I'm like a
fucking little kid. I still won't eat my veggies really, yeah, yeah,
I just I well, let me rephrase, it's not so
much veggies, it's it's the the leafy veggies. Primarily. To me,
lettuce is one of the fucking grossest things that I

(20:11):
could ever even dream of. Like lettuce and pickles just
the absolute worst.

Speaker 2 (20:18):
Yeah, you can put whatever the fuck you want on
a salad. You can put all the protein you want,
put all the dressing you want, and I just can't.
I can't get through a salad. I'm not eating that.
But that's like the only one I love. Like super
earthy vegetables. I don't know, I think it might be
some weird thing, but I look the dirty or nastier
and earthier. Something tastes more like it.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
So you're like into beats and turnips.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Yes, yes, yeah, not me. I can sit around and
eat like an full of radishes.

Speaker 1 (20:46):
Oh wow, look at you. You're good for your stomach
reddish eating basted.

Speaker 3 (20:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (20:52):
I wish that I could like hypnotize myself or something
to to get on board, but I just it's it's
so repulsive to me, and I can't. I just I.

Speaker 3 (21:05):
Don't know.

Speaker 1 (21:06):
I'm, like I said, I'm like a fucking child with
my vegetables still, but I will eat. I love peppers.
Peppers are fucking awesome. Whatever I can put peppers in,
I do, And carrots and potatoes are awesome too.

Speaker 2 (21:18):
I can't handle hot stuff, and I love the taste
of most peppers. I just I can't. Even if it's
like like not highly spicy, if it's not like it's
like not going to burn your mouth, it'll still fucking
hurt my stomach and I'm throwing up.

Speaker 3 (21:34):
But it's not fun.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
The capsation doesn't Yeah, it doesn't work well with you.
Ah yeah, well I'm sorry to hear that.

Speaker 3 (21:42):
Matao me too. I just want to eat.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
I will not make any chili for you.

Speaker 2 (21:47):
Oh no, see, I'll eat chili. That's I gill regret it,
that's all I'll take it. You're I've heard about your
chili for fucking thirteen years.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, I make really good chili.

Speaker 2 (21:58):
Yeah, I'll definitely eat your chili and then throw up
blood and go into a coma and sweat for a day.

Speaker 1 (22:08):
Yeah. Well, I I I would like to say it's
worth it, but I can't guarantee that that would be
a thing, if that's going to be the end result.
But I do I do like it. I do like
to make my chili hot. Yeah, so yeah, I I well,
I grow like typically I'll grow two different types of
hot peppers every year. This year I'm doing long hot

(22:31):
cayenne and holopanios, So nothing crazy, but it's still yeah
for for people that can't handle spice. That's and the
long hot cayenne. They're this is my first year doing them,
but they're very hot. They're hotter than regular cayenne, and
they're considerably bigger. They're like probably twice the size.

Speaker 3 (22:54):
Wow found found a youth.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Yeah that's I mean of anything that will fucking shave
years off your life. So I guess my my chili
is the opposite of the elixir of life. Well, I
guess maybe it might be more in line with Chinese
elixir of life, right, and that it'll kill you eventually.

Speaker 3 (23:15):
If you do wonders or kill you or both.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
It'll do wonders and then kill you unexpectedly, like oh,
it feels so fucking good right now, and then your
heart stops and you're like, oh shit, chili strikes again.
Maybe my chili will be so legendary that some that
some explorer will someday hear about it and hunt down
the mystical food of immortality and then just be disappointed

(23:40):
and go to Wendy's instead and eat there chili. But
the the the Fountain of Youth, though they're there, actually was. Well,
there's so a lot of a lot of the Fountain
of Youth. Obviously is steeped in legend because no one
or has heard of it, but there is some historical

(24:04):
documentation of someone actually hunting for it, and not just
someone but a very famous explorer. Does Does the name
Juan Ponce de Leon mean anything to you?

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yes, I have heard this this name. Yeah he is.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
He's a bastard conquistador, but he was. He led the
first European expedition into Puerto Rico and Florida. So he's
he's kind of a big deal. But there's a background
where I shouldn't say a background. There's a legend that

(24:47):
tells of him in these expeditions seeking out the Fountain
of Youth. So initially Ponce Delion was and by Royal
charter two discover a land that was called Benini, which

(25:08):
you may know as Bimini as in the Bimini Road.
Mm hmm. But for those that don't know Bimini is,
it's the it's a district in the western Bahamas that's
like an island chain. But there's a thing called the

(25:30):
Bimini Road that at one point in time was theorized
to have been part of Atlantis. But it's just a roadway.
It looks like a roadway under the ocean. There's there's
some some scientists that say it's a natural formation, but
it very much looks like an actual roadway. If you

(25:52):
don't know what I'm talking about, just look it up
and draw your own conclusions. So Ponce Dalleion goes on
his trip looking for Bimini and comes across a group
of indigenous people. Now, now keep in mind that much

(26:12):
like Columbus who thought he was in India, like a
fucking moron, this guy wasn't really sure where he was either.
And I say like a fucking moron, just because Columbus
is a piece of shit. But in reality, this is
uncharted territory and nobody knew what the fuck that was
when they when they, they didn't even know this place existed. So,

(26:33):
you know, fair enough, I suppose may as well have
been India, Sure, why not. But anyway, he was looking
for for Bimini, and he meets up with this group
of indigenous people and he writes, he writes descriptions of them,
and it's thought that he ended up in the Yucatan

(26:56):
Peninsula in Mexico rather than in the Bahamas and was
speaking with or ran into the Mayans. But in his
interaction with them, he heard this legend of a place
called Buenka, and there was a fountain of youth in Boenka.

(27:18):
But because of him misconstruing where he was, the legend
of the fountain youth got tied to Bimini and the
Bahamas instead of in Boenka, which was a place in
the Yucatan Peninsula. The thing is, though there is never

(27:39):
any mention of a search for the Fountain of youth
in any of Ponce Dalian's writing. The connection gets made
years later in different historical documents and memoirs. So in

(27:59):
fifteen thirty five, Gonzalo Fernandez deo Viedo wrote a book
about the history of the region, and in this book
he wrote that Ponce dal Leon was looking for the
fountain of Youth in Bimini because he wanted to regain

(28:22):
his youthfulness, because at this point he was getting older
and mortality was looking down the barrel at him, and
he he just wanted to be young again.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
Man.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
He wanted to be able to do back bends without
severe shooting pain. Dude spends all his time on a
boat like he just wants to chill. But there's people
who have gone over this particular work and think that
Alviedo's account of events may have been embellished or maybe

(29:02):
completely created in order to try to generate favor in
the courts of Spain at the time. But there was
a similar account that appeared in a book written by
Francisco Lopez in fifteen fifty one, and he also mentions

(29:23):
that Ponce Dalion was looking in the waters of the
area around Viminy for the Fountain of Youth. There was
a memoir who was written by a man named Hernando
Descalante Fontaneda, and he wrote his memoir in fifteen seventy five.

(29:44):
In his memoirs, he mentions Ponce Dalion looking for the
Fountain of Youth in Florida, and Fontanada had spent seventeen
years as a captive of the natives in Florida. At
the time, he was on a ship that got shipwrecked
and as a boy he washed ashore into Florida where

(30:06):
he was taken captive by the local tribe there. And
he talks about having personally witnessed the Fountain of Youth,
and he said it was they were waters that could
carry you, and they came from a river, and he
referred to the river as Jordan, which I'm assuming is

(30:27):
the River Jordan, you know, the biblical river that still exists.
But I think he was kind of making the biblical connection.
But he said that at this point in time, Ponce
de Leon was looking for the Fountain of Youth, but

(30:51):
he also admits Fontanada also admits that it's likely that
these stories were made up. He doesn't actually believe that
in his exploration of Florida that he was actually looking
for the Fountain of Youth. It was just kind of
a story that gets attached to it. But now there's

(31:15):
a Fountain of Youth Archaeological Park that exists in Saint Augustine, Florida,
and it's like a tribute to Ponce dal Leone and
his search for the fabled Fountain of Youth. Wow. So
me personally, I don't think that he was actually looking

(31:36):
for it. I think a lot of this stuff was,
you know, just made up fables. I mean, there's there's
a history of that as well, like the long before
Ponce daly On. There there's a legend attributed to Alexander

(31:56):
the Great where Alexander and and one of his servants
were crossing the Land of Darkness, which is this mythical
land that's always covered in perpetual darkness. It's it's you know,
like your your classic uh fantasy uh dark lord realm.

(32:19):
You know, it's always night and there's probably lightning flashing
and skulls littering the ground and shit. But it was
also known as the Forest.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
Of cas so you know, it's got a cool name,
but the they were crossing the Land of Darkness to
find the Fountain of Youth, and they end up.

Speaker 1 (32:47):
Going on this long trip in search of the Fountain
of Youth. And then and this story got kind of
mick crossed over with Middle Eastern legends of a sage
named al Kadar who also shows up in the Qur'an,

(33:09):
and apparently that sage is tied to Alexander the Great Servant,
and there's just all this overlap. But this particular legend
seemed to find a rise in popularity in Spain when
Spain was under Moorish rule. But these accounts of Alexander

(33:33):
the Great and a servant searching for the Fountain of
Youth in the Land of Darkness was later used to
inspire this medieval fantasy called Mendeville's Travels, which was a
group of stories that was supposed to be like a
travelogue of this Englishman named John Mandeville as he was

(33:56):
traveling across India and China. And there's a story included
in there that mentions that the Fountain of Youth was
found at the foot of a mountain outside of Polombe,
which is uh Or, was a place in India, I
think it out's referred to by a different name. But

(34:19):
these the stories in this book kind of mirrored the
legends told about Alexander the Great, and we know Alexander
the Great was an actual historical character, but with a
lot of historical characters, especially back then, they kind of
start to take on mythological status, so they start to
be myths attributed to them, and things kind of get

(34:43):
a little supernatural over time.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
Mm hm.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
But it's it's interesting though that that, like I I
guess I shouldn't say it's interesting, because it's obvious that
it would be that these sort of things would persist,
but it's it's just it's funny that we have these
old stories told as being fact by Herodotus, and then

(35:09):
we based out of that, we have myths surrounding an
actual historical character, which then delve into fictional stories of
characters with the same themes and everything, and and the
the Fountain of Youth continues on, you know, through through

(35:30):
the New World over in Florida and maybe the Bahamas
or also the Yokatan Peninsula, depending on where you're where
you actually are. But I think it's just a persistence
in in or the myth is so persistent because a
lot of people view their mortality negatively, you know, and

(35:55):
everyone's always like, oh, reminiscing about being a kid in
law for the vigors of youth, and and I think
it it's it's one of those things. My grandma always
used to say this to me, and I didn't understand
it at the time, but now being old, I very
much identify it. But she always used to say that
youth is wasted on the young, and it's so fucking true.

(36:19):
And I think that's kind of the lens through through
uh through which we're looking at with with these myths.
It's it's just the the constant fight against your own
mortality and your own aging and and hope that maybe
there's something there. And and for some people they'll go

(36:41):
to to a healthy diet and working out. Some people
will go to surgery and and make themselves look younger
even if they're not actually younger. At least they they
can take on the appearance. Some people just age gracefully
and they're like, you know what, fuck it, I'm getting old.
And that's that's the way life goes. But no matter

(37:02):
what your view on it is You're always gonna look
back fondly at like, oh, when I was this age,
or or you know, like now I'm I'm in my
mid and I look back and I'm like, oh, fuck man,
to be in my early twenties again, like that was
that was prime time to be alive. Even even go
back and to be a teen again, like fuck, especially

(37:23):
if I could go back in time. The nineties were awesome.
But it's you know, and I'm one that I don't
even to me like aging, I don't. I don't really
give a shit other than the fact that my body
is deteriorating with age. To me, life is exhausting, so

(37:44):
like they, let's fucking hurry up and get there, you
know what I'm saying. But I'm not. I'm not looking
to prolong this life by any means. But I'm I'm
I understand the drive. I guess I should say to
to are the longing to want to stay young. But

(38:05):
I think that's why we we have all these myths
and why plastic surgery is a thing. And and no
nobody like is out there being like, you know what,
I would love to have some cancer please, and then
and and go that way and and I don't know.

(38:26):
There there's just like so many things with the end
of human life that sucks, and nobody wants to go
through that. And and I could see that also being
a thing like just fear of death. But then there's
other people that just you know, just fucking bring it,
let's go. When it gets here, it gets here, and

(38:46):
and that's that's just the way life is, right.

Speaker 2 (38:50):
Yeah, there's plenty of life experiences and situations that can
uh demystified death and make it not so spooky or
scary that alone, you know, just going through things, and
you know that can happen to somebody when they're really
young too, you know, and just have that like all right,
I get in.

Speaker 3 (39:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:11):
Yeah. For me, the scariest part is losing my mental faculties,
Like that's that's the scariest thing for me. I've seen
people go through Alzheimer's and that's terrifying and my only,
my only hope is to not reach that stage. Like

(39:31):
that would be one thing I would consider a fountain
of youth for as if my brain was going and
I couldn't you know, grasp reality anymore, I'd be like,
all right, all right, let's tap into that give me,
give me some of that brain juice, right, But that's
a good point. Physically aging, that's just the way it goes.
I'm not worried about that. I'll get I'll be old.

(39:55):
Fortunately I'm not graying yet. I'm not graying. I'm not bald,
so that's that's cool. I still have a baby face.

Speaker 4 (40:03):
Like.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
People don't believe me when I say I'm in my
mid but I assure you I am. I still get carded,
dude for fucking I just went to buy a pack
of rolling papers today and they got fucking I got
carded for buying rolling papers.

Speaker 3 (40:22):
Nice, And I'm.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
Like, dude, do I seriously not look eighteen?

Speaker 3 (40:26):
D come on, that's hilarious.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
And they're not supposed to card you, like over the
age of I think it's thirty five or thirty seven,
I can't remember, but I've never not been carted. It's
fucking ridiculous. But I'm like, you know, I'm oh, thank you, yeah.
And then they look at my ID and my ID

(40:50):
was from like fucking I don't know, ten years ago
or something, so it doesn't even look like me at all,
because at that point in time I had a bald
face and a shaved head. So now people look at
it and they look at me, and I'm like, dude,
come on, if you're gonna buy that, that picture there
is of age, Like, just look at me now, fucking

(41:10):
simmered down?

Speaker 3 (41:11):
How funny?

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Eyeballing me? Like is this a fake ID?

Speaker 3 (41:14):
Boy?

Speaker 1 (41:16):
Yes, yes, sir, it is. I look older now, so
I'm using a younger kid's ID too. Yeah, that's that
makes a whole lot of sense. Some people are just
fucking idiots.

Speaker 3 (41:28):
They can't help it.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
Yeah, what can you do? So what's this I'm hearing
about liquefying dor cell batteries?

Speaker 3 (41:35):
What I want to.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
Look Sam in the chat just said that here, let
my find dor cell batteries and injecting it into your
bloodstream keeps your mind young. He's going to test it
out though, and report back, so don't do that. I
will wait with baited breath and see what he comes
back with. I am curious regarding the method of liquifying

(42:00):
these batteries though, because like, are you gonna then be
injecting molten battery juice because you're liquefying them? Because I
would imagine if you let it cool little hardened again he's.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Gotta do like a wolverine at a mantium transplant thing.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
Yeah, maybe coat maybe coat your brain with Oh, that's
that's how it keeps your mind young. You coated your
brain with battery juice, and now your brain's just a battery.

Speaker 3 (42:29):
Then you'll have battery brain.

Speaker 1 (42:31):
Bro. I'll just start walking around beating a giant bass
drum mm hmmm, wearing some cool sunglasses. But oh, I
I would like to think that there was a mystical fountain.
I I think that's a missed opportunity for Indiana Jones
as well. Absolutely, we could have had Indiana Jones Hunt

(42:54):
for the Fountain of Youth. Like, come on, tell me
that wouldn't have been an awesome movie. Indiana Jones and
the Fountain of Youth. Fuck yet that I'm on board.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
That's gotta be a book somewhere, right. That's that sounds
so natural. It has to have existed.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
I know it does, it really does, but I don't
know if it is or not. I really want it
to be though, right, I'm gonna will it into existence.
So let's can we Rather than making shitty new Indiana
Jones movies, can we just get some awesome like animated
Indiana Jones movies. Oh wow, I think that's the way

(43:27):
to go. Like, no one gives a fuck about old
man Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones. Like that's not cool anymore.
Let's get some some prime Indiana Jones stories, but get
them animated so that we can actually do Indiana Jones
and his prime right, or fuck it, Maybe old man
Indiana Jones finds a fountain of youth and then we
get prime Indiana Jones back.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
See this was an avant garde music thing from last episode. Mike,
we need to put you to work somehow.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
Yeah, just just give me a recording studio in an
unlimited budget and Harrison Ford and we'll fucking make it happen. Yeah,
somehow I'm gonna convince Harrison Ford to fucking fly me
in a plane somewhere.

Speaker 3 (44:11):
Oh god, yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
Because he's a he's a pilot, So yeah, fly me away.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Let's go.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
Let's let's go to Let's go to fucking Bimini and
we'll shoot on location and you can fly me there.
Do it? Well, isn't this animated? Yeah, it's animated, but
I think we should still fly to the fucking location.

Speaker 3 (44:30):
Get the feel for the place.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
And then while he's flying, I'll just throw a bunch
of fucking glass against a wall and scream like a
madman and record it, and that'll be my second album.
Oh my god, it'll say the album will be called
Flying with Han Solo.

Speaker 2 (44:46):
There you have it, folks. I'm not even gonna like
try to put out songs anymore.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Just let me throw shit around and scream like a madman.

Speaker 3 (44:55):
I'm out.

Speaker 1 (44:56):
Yeah, Mike Patton, eat your heart out.

Speaker 5 (45:00):
Thank you for listening to the what Cast. You can
find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, iTunes, on YouTube. Enjoy
the podcast, get yourself a what Cast T shirt or
a sticker pack Who is that dude on that one episode?
Try the links in homies page. All this and more
can be found at www dot thewcasters dot com. Thanks

(45:25):
again for listening and have a great week.

Speaker 4 (46:00):
And and

Speaker 1 (47:14):
But don't don't have to do to
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