Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
M h. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast,
a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all
the small decisions we can make to become the best
(00:21):
possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard
and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more
information or to find a therapist in your area, visit
our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While
I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast,
(00:42):
it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship
with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so
much for joining me for a Session to six scene
of the Therapy Feed for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get
into the episode right after a word from our sponsors.
(01:16):
In Session to ten, we talked with Dr Diane Stewart
about the principles and themes that underlie many African traditional religions,
and we promised to a part two of that conversation
to learn more about the practice of these religions to
help us dig into this topic. Today, I'm excited that
we're joined by a he May. Aura. He May is
(01:36):
a Nigerian words smith and priestess of the Ifa and
Orisha tradition she has grounded in her purpose of reconnecting
others back to themselves as an educator of African spirituality
and holistic wellness. He May and I chatted about her
personal journey to being a priestess, Where to start if
(01:57):
you're a beginner in these practices, how technology and social
media have made it easier to teach others about these traditions,
and how practicing African traditional religions can work in tandem
with Christianity, Islam and other faith practices. If there's something
that resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share
(02:17):
it with us on social media using the hashtag tv
G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, thank you so
much for joining yesterday, and he of course, thank you
so much for having me. I really appreciate a huge
fan Thank you. Thank you. Likewise, I wonder if you
can start by just telling us a little bit more
(02:39):
about who you are and how you got started in
your practice. So my name is ahime Aura also known
as Aola long name right if noial priestss. I'm initiated
into the societies of Efa, Shango and man Lay. I
am Nigeria and I was born in Nigeria in the
(03:01):
Baden City. I immigrated to a small little town in
Florida when I was around four years old. Even though
I was disconnected from like my roots and my traditions,
my mother was really the one responsible for keeping things
alive for me. She would be the one telling me
stories of our ancestors. She would be always the one
(03:22):
telling me about Shana before who I even knew Shango was.
I wasn't even pritty to that, like at a school night.
She would always tell amazing stories and you know, Nigerian
moms are very dramatic, so she would always be in
the movement and the you know, the voice raise about
this being sitting there like, oh my God, it's no amazing.
(03:42):
So through her and through her being very deliberate and
connecting me with our ancestors as we are kind of
forced to assimilate as immigrants, I've been able to keep
that connection as I grew into my spirituality organically, as
I found my elders, as I was able to reach back.
(04:02):
It was really through the help of my mother doing
what she could, you know. So that's definitely the foundational
part for me in my practice. Yeah, so when you
say that your mother kind of kept those traditions alive
through storytelling where they're like practices or spiritual practices that
you grew up with kind of in your home or
did you kind of discover that later in life. So,
(04:25):
my mother is always very connected to her tradition, her group,
her ethnic group that we come from the delta or
very durable people, and she would always especially when it
comes to like liquor, and my mom would always have
liquor in her house because liquor, to her, it was
attached to wealth in abundance. And even the way that
we would offer liquor in our hoshold is something that
(04:48):
is traditionally rooted to our ancestors. Like the youngest person
would take the liquor and they would pass it around
the party and the youngest person would be giving the
liquor to the elder and then they would pour some
out for the ancestors, which is what you know the
diaspora does to brown went out for the homebase and everything.
So that connection there is definitely what I kind of
(05:10):
grew up in my mother. She wasn't spiritually blind, but
she also was very aware of you know, you are
already black and you're an immigrant, so also practicing indigenous
spirituality will make you more targeted than anything else. So
(05:32):
she definitely adopted Christianity, and she definitely grew us in
a Christian home because to her being Christian in this
new land that were all foreigns who meant to be
able to survive, you know. So her ability to connect
us through storytelling was her one way of being able
to fight back against having to assimilate, against having to
(05:56):
be in the suppressed state while raising us me and
my brothers. Mmm, God, is that this was something that
only as you got older did you recognize, like, wow,
this storytelling is connected to something much bigger. M hmm.
It was really the connection because my mom has a
very strong voice, and she would always say when I
(06:17):
was a child, I don't want to understand that, like
she would always say, if I use my words to
curse you, the ancestors will hear it. And only until
as I've gotten older did I realize, Oh, my mom
was saying so many things at once without one statement,
you know. So, can you tell us a little bit
about the differences between what we describe as like spiritual
(06:38):
practice versus maybe an organized kind of a religion mm hm.
So I think it's very easy to say that if
is a spiritual tradition, which it is, that is kind
of true, it is spirituality. But if a and the
Arecia tradition is specified on culture, and it's specified and
(07:01):
organized hierarchical religious practice. And I say this because we
have things like the Iraq bag Bayo within the Ifa
and the Recia tradition, which is the head priest of
Ifa on earth and below him are sixteen chiefs. So
you have these hierarchical practice already happening within the tradition
as a whole to keep things going and to keep
(07:21):
things more organized and disciplined. And below these people you
have you know, certain chiefs or sort of Arabas and
their own villages and their own tribal groups. So these
things are kind of divided in order to keep things
in order. Because when you have things like just you know,
referencing New Aid spirituality, you get things to be, you know,
(07:43):
in a way watered down. New Aid Spirituality. Although it
is a very it's a platform. It's a place where
a lot of people, especially black people, are able to
connect to something outside of Christianity. New Aid spirituality also
holds in almost simplifying traditional practices, traditional roots, traditional spirituality
(08:04):
of indigenous cultures, and it kind of creates a lot
of misinformation. And when you're being misinformed of things that
are connected to something is massive astity reachier practice, you
become very vulnerable, you know, to people who are not
practicing the tradition with integrity, or even to certain things
(08:24):
that you're not supposed to be doing, you know, because
the lack of hierarchy, the ethon the Reacier tradition is
something that is very much connected to eldership and mentorship.
You would be surrounded by your elders in the compound
helping them, being able to understand the religion and being
able to understand all the philosophy and the culture in
(08:45):
it because you're around it. Does that make sense? So
it definitely is like a an apprenticeship that's happening, and
why the e Fon Reracier tradition is able to survive
while still being an oral religion. It's an oral religious practice.
There are no books, you know what I'm saying. There
are no books that are going to really be able
to tell you the full potency of Ifa. And this
(09:10):
is something that it kind of takes me back to
this book called Socrates and Rumula by Sophia Lua lu
I believe and she was um a Nigerian philosopher and
she was so smart. Her books are so incredible. They
open you to a different way of philosophy in a
(09:31):
in a continental sense, right. And in that book she
was saying, what's the difference between Socrates and Rumla because
those two didn't write anything. Yet Socrates is considered to
be the champion of philosophy, while you know, in Rumla
he's the holder of the Ifa oracle, which is philosophy
and wisdom. So too, they are two fathers of wisdom,
(09:54):
yet one is seen as more credible when I talk
to you know, oral culture or a wistuff right, make sense?
You know. So it's a really interesting book and I
definitely recommend that. Okay, okay, thank you for that. So,
you know, I think, you know, we had a conversation
with Dr Stewart recently on the podcast more about like
the theory behind some of the African traditional religions, and
(10:17):
it is something that a lot of people are interested
in it. It sounds like, you know, you kind of
got some of this, you know, kind of through your
mother and kind of growing up with that storytelling. But
I think a lot of people just feel really confused
as to where to start. How do I know, you know,
like which traditions feel that like the best alignment for me?
So can you give some tips for people who like,
maybe you're figuring out like, Okay, I want to maybe
(10:39):
start learning more about this, but do I know if
it's ifa, a risha or something else? Like where do
people get started? Um? I always recommend that people get
started back to their roots where they come from and
social reveneration. It's the foundation of all diasporic and continental
spiritual practices. Without your ancestors, you're not going to be
(11:00):
able to have the foundation needed to be able to
work with other spirits. You'll be even more in a
vulnerable position because you don't even know if your ancestors
want you to practice certain things, if these things are
even aligned with your destiny. You know what I'm saying. Um,
As an Efondersia priest, There's so many people who come
across me who I can tell that their ancestors don't
(11:23):
want them to press the Fonderia, but using platforms, are
using you know, the connection with African spirituality. It's being
able to guide them into okay, maybe who do would
be beneficial for you? Or Haitian you doom and things
like that. But that's how you're going to be able
to really be able to understand. It's through and such
a veneration and working back with your ancestors the altar space,
(11:47):
which is really the foundational connection between you and your
ancestors and the physical space residing in your home, so
they're able to protect you in your space and to
be able to grow with you. And it doesn't need
to be the most extra dramatic things. Starting out simple candle,
simple water, you know, a nice little white blanket. That's it.
(12:08):
That's all you really need to do to start to
grow your connection with your ancestors and being able to
understand that your ancestors are not gonna be communicating in
the same way as somebody else. Maybe other people can
hear or see them, but maybe you can have all
these intense streams with them. You are in the dream
world and you're connecting with them in that way, or
(12:29):
maybe they're showing you simples you maybe the bird that
you see outside is them. There are ways that you're
gonna be able to be like those are my people,
you know what I'm saying, And it's gonna be a
unique and it's gonna be even the most refreshing thing
because the ancestors go with you wherever you go. So
even if they don't want you to go with efa
(12:51):
like if you attend to walking them that they can't
just be like okay, where this connected? Now, you know
what I'm saying. So it's so important to be in
a group effort to be able to be like, okay,
this is what benefits all of us, so you can
see their work happening to you in real time, you know.
So you mentioned that ancestral veneration is kind of like
(13:14):
the basics, right, so that is building your own phone.
You've already given us some very basic tips, you know,
like a little bit table, white tableclothed, white towel, a candle.
You mentioned something else, water couple, Yeah, a couple of water.
Water is acting like a bridge between you of the
spiritual world. So it's gonna really act as a purifier,
(13:34):
so it's not necessarily like a drink offering. You can
get the water if you want to, but the water
is gonna be like a telephone, like making things are
clear as possible for you to the other side. So
when the fire is representing passion, the heart, the strength,
being able to have your ancestors see you here, you
(13:55):
feel you in a way where it's heavy, it kind
of gives them almost like the heart of the fire
the spark for the altar space, and the white it's
just giving cleanliness, purity, It connects us to you know,
for an example of Atla whose eurisha of white cloth,
being able to have spiritual tranquility, serenity, and being able
(14:16):
to not feel so absorbed by a lot of the
spiritual heaviness that's happening because the altar space is going
to be spiritually active when you're working with your ancestors.
So starting out with something white and cloth would definitely
be beneficial for the beginner mm hmmm. Yeah. And you know,
and like some earth as well, you know, to keep
things grounded into the earthly plane, which is like flowers
(14:40):
or crystals or stones or anything that connects to you
to Mother Earth. Okay, And so the purpose of setting
up this altar in your home is really kind of
just like opening this pathway to your ancestor so that
there can be an establishing of that relationship, so that
they do come to you either in dreams or messages
or symbols or you know. It's kind of like letting
(15:00):
the ancestors know I'm open to this, and to me,
the altar space really is just a physical place where
you're able to connect, like a communication spot between you
and ancestors because they're already within, you know, and if
I thought tells us that the ancestors reside in our
body and particularly our feet, specifically the left toe of
(15:23):
the foot, you know what I'm saying. So being able
wherever you walk, you are walking with your ancestors, you
know what I'm saying. So it's a definitely a literal
thing when we say the ancestors walk with us. But
the alter space is just a good physical communication spot
between you and your people where you can be able
to greet them in the morning and being able to say,
(15:44):
this is the intentional place where I lay offerings, where
I do prayer, but I'm also going to acknowledge you
outside of back, you know what I'm saying, So it
should be less of a super focus on the altar
space and more so about creating intentional time with your people.
You know what I'm saying, got it? And the also
is just a reminder of that exactly. Definitely got it.
(16:04):
Thank you for that. More from my conversation with the
he may after the break. So you've already mentioned that,
you know, there are no real books that people like.
The tradition is more oral, right and so, but it
(16:24):
feels like a lot of people are now getting this
information through social media, right, Like you use your platform
to share more in the interests of educating people. You know,
we see people on TikTok and on Instagram kind of
sharing these different things, and I would imagine that there
are some benefits to the information being shared there, but
I would also imagine there are some limitations. Right, So,
(16:45):
can you talk a little bit about both the benefits
and the limitations to people kind of learning about this
information through social media. Yeah, So, I think the benefits
is being able to demystify the tradition, being able to
be like, Okay, this is something that is actually still
being practiced now because you know, if you go into museums,
(17:05):
you'll see Ifa and Norisia, like spiritual tools inside the museums,
almost making it feel ancient, almost making it feel like
tradition has left us, you know what I'm saying. But no,
people are still venerating the Arisia's even on the continent.
To this day, the people are still having festivals venerating
the Resha's till the stay. It's still very active, still
(17:27):
very alive, you know. And because EFA to me, is
like the sentient living being that understands the cosmos and
understands the world, because that's what IFA is. It represents
being able to see and recognize the wisdom of the
entire universe within this algorithm code which is very mathematical,
(17:50):
but IFA being able to be so aware it knows
that the next move is going to be on the Internet.
I always make the joke with my friends, my FA
friends would be like, oh, EFA is on WiFi now,
because if I understands, you know, like the EASU is
on wifile because the way that it's going to see
(18:11):
like okay. People are wanting answers, especially during the pandemic,
especially when we were initially in the pandemic last year
and everyone was just like so what now, And people
have the space and the ability to be like, you
know what, my faith is changing when I'm believing is
changing and I'm looking for information to connect me back
(18:32):
to myself, and then i FA pops up like okay,
so let's go on the internet. Now, let's educate the
people in this way. IFA is traditional. But what I
also want people to understand it it's traditional doesn't always
mean stagnant in time. It can be updating, it can flow,
it can be adjusted, especially by the people who are
(18:53):
holding the tradition. You know that they are going to
be the people responsible in updating, being to making things
more combinating for everyone. Because what EFA doesn't like us
to do is to be soap boxed preachers and trying
to convert people into the IFA ary tradition and the
(19:13):
old you. It says to not convert. You don't need
to convert anyone to IFA. You just need to talk
about IFA. Therisa always says, as much as you talk
about you FA, Theresia will bless you because you're talking
about them, You're bragging on them. Very Nigerian thing to know. Okay,
be a little bit arrogant with the you know what
I'm saying, Um, But right, And it's just so fun
(19:34):
to me to talk about it because though Ifa and
Racha something that's outside of their own culture and what
they grew up in, and to be able to think differently.
Because EFA tradition relies on self actualization, the ability to
change yourself, IFA relies on self accountability. In order for
(19:55):
you can to see blessings in your life, you must change.
The most important sacrifice that you can give is your character.
You know what I'm saying. It doesn't matter how many
you know offerings you relate to the arisha. If your
own behavior does not alter, it's gonna be hard for
you to see you beginning to see change happening in
(20:16):
your life, you know what I'm saying. So being able
to have that accountability, being able to be like, okay,
maybe I'm the problem here and changing that is what
I love the most about EFA because you really cannot
blame anybody but yourself. That's why the most powerful arisia
is the o Read, which is your higher self living
within your head. It is the most powerful arisia being
(20:39):
able to overpower them, all of them combined. You know. So,
if your own o Read does not want you to
do something it's gonna be hard for you to accomplish
those tasks. So what they always say before you go
to the arisha, you must always go to your own
read first. You know what I'm saying. The Creator gave
you your o read to be godener, to be able
(20:59):
to go to things and make you feel good that
resonate with your spirit. Which is why not everyone needs
to practice the found Recia tradition because they already have
their own own and their own OVA can be enough.
You know. I guess the good facts of sharing online
is it doesn't always reach the right people. Not everyone
(21:21):
wants to learn. You know. Um, we are still battling
even in tradition and being able to pull away, you know,
ourselves from people who you know Christian background saying that
rhythemonic or that we are venerating things that our demons
or the devil, etcetera. Like. Even the most dynamic Arisia
(21:43):
in the evil tradition called issue issue is the messenger
between two worlds. He is probably one of the most
important arisia's and his name translates to the devil because
of missionaries and their Christianic and influence and their colonialism
over Nigeria. So there are priests and the continent trying
(22:05):
to rip away the sercious tie to you know, and
the demonic influences. But I just feel like that's the
hugest thing, that's the most biggest thing, is being able
to be like, being able to tell people that things
that they don't understand. You don't need to connect that
(22:26):
to something evil, You don't need to connect that to
something demonic. Education is the most important thing. Being able
to be educated, being able to understand someone before you
say something, you know, before you even curse. What your
ancestors came from. You know, our ancestor traditionally weren't practicing
you know, Christianity or Islam. They're practicing their traditional beliefs.
(22:50):
And being able to hold space for that, especially the
people that come from that, is I think the most
important thing. Having integrity there, you know, mm hmm. That's
a perfect kind of segue to my next question, which
is do you think that the practice of you know,
more African traditional religions can coexist with someone also practicing
(23:11):
like Christianity or Islam. Yes, definitely, because there's a difference
between you know, doing EFA and no recial work and
being initiated in the traditions. There's many old dudes, many
verses within EFA about how the king who practice Islam
will go to the priest and get work done. You
(23:31):
know what I'm saying. Those things can co exist simultaneously
if people allow them to co exist simultaneously. You know
what I'm saying, Like the it's the word of Ifa
does not go against Christianity or Islam and any means.
It's people, you know, that the side, whether they want
to be to get something or not. So even like
(23:52):
the divination of the year that was conducted for the
entire world, In said that it's very important for everyone
to live and harmony with the religion and to not
discriminate against people who are of different religious backgrounds, you know,
mm hmmmmmmm. So can you tell me more about the
distinction between doing the work he said of eva Asia
(24:14):
and initiated. What what does that mean? So when I
say Ifa no racial work, I mean like, let's say
you are seeking a divination from a priest. So you'll
go to the priest house, You'll sit on the priest floor,
and the priest will do a Kenifa, You'll do divination
for you and what the priest tells you, like, oh,
(24:36):
you need to do ebo, which is sacrifice. We need
to sacrifice certain things, which could be certain you know, animals,
or it can be a certain character behavior traits, or
it could be warning you of something that is doing
ifa racial work. Because you're taking the prescriptions, that's what's
being given to you. If is like it's like going
to the doctor, it's gonna be literally a medical doctor,
(24:58):
because that's what a priest is, being able to see
your spiritual health and how to give you good health.
You know what I'm saying, good health and your money
and your love life and your achievements and your destiny
to keep you aligned. But he's also going to offer
you medication, which is your prescriptions what you should be doing.
Maybe you should change your behavior. Maybe you should not
be drinking liquor for the next sixteen days. Maybe you
(25:21):
should do sacrifice for with all this you know, animal
materials to give you good health on your path. That's
spiritual work. That's efile work. Anyone can do efile work.
But to become the priest that tells what the client
is doing, that's what an initiative is going to be doing.
You know what I'm saying. One that is actually doing
(25:42):
the work, that's you know, studying under the elder, that's
learning all the philosophy, is gonna be the initiate. Got it, okay?
And so what do you see people who are like
new in the practice of some of this work, like
what are you the common things that you kind of
see come up for people when they are new kind
of practicing as work. I think the most common thing
(26:02):
that I get from people who are interested in the
work is which Arisia guards my head? I get that
question a lot, and it's very interesting for me personally.
I have to give the most thorough response to that
question because it's not just the simplest or no or
simple small question to me, because it's a whole lifestyle change. Really,
(26:24):
because when you ask me, when you reach it guards
your head. What I'm going to tell you is all
of them guard your head because the Arisha, the purpose
of the Arisha is to assist humanity. So they're all
going to be working in your life in individual ways
because that's what the role is on this earth. And
it's less about the concept of being a child of
(26:47):
Arisia and more so about what are you going to
do with with that information, you know, because it doesn't
really help you to know that answer without saying that
you want to be a devotee or to be an initiate,
because that's the only way you're going to be able
to use and utilize that wisdom. A priest and elder
once told me that the you know, yes, you can
(27:08):
find the arecia's nature, but to understand the wisdom and
how the racial works is going to be within their
priest because when the initiate gets initiated into the Aricia,
they become that Arasia on earth. They hold all of
the wisdom of the philosophies of the Aracia within their body.
So it's more so more serious to me, I guess
(27:31):
when we want to know that, because it's nothing like
astrology or being able to be like my son is
in Taurists or my moon is a Acquarius, for example.
It's more so it's a religious thing, you know, it's
a very serious thing. It's also very more abstract because
on the continent you can be connected to the ratio
(27:51):
because of your lineage or because of the work that
you do, like maybe you are a blacksmith, so you're
going to get initiated into a boom, you know what
I'm saying to help with that work, so definitely is
more of a larger answer than what people are kind
of expecting, which is something simple like to even find out,
you know, the Arisha that is aligned with your destiny,
(28:13):
that is connected to you, that rose up when you're
going to be incarnated on earth, is going to be
through rights, like true initiation. Rights, things that kind of
devote you to the tradition because if you get it
from like divination, divination is highlighting your energy at this moment,
which Arisha is assisting you at this moment. It's not
(28:36):
something that is always current or stuck in time. I
can change to any moment. But when you do rights,
then you're getting into something that's a little bit more permanent.
Does that make sense? Like something that when I received
my hand to be fought, which is like a step
down from initiation, it picked up on Shango, and it
was Shango who was with me this entire time, even
(28:57):
though I had many divinations as different thesis throughout my
journey before I got like devoted connection with the fa
You know what I'm saying, more from my conversation with
the he mad after the break. So I'm wondering, you know,
(29:23):
just like we have seen more information about, you know,
people sharing this kind of stuff on social media, and
we've also seen i think an increase in like people
sharing about African traditional religions in pop culture. So you know,
one of the biggest ones I think was probably Beyonce Eliminade, right,
And I'm just wondering your thoughts about like sharing that
in pop culture. Do you feel like that helps to
(29:44):
kind of promote the messages or do you feel like
that's a hindrance. I feel like the recis are very smart.
They do what they think is going to be best
for people to talk about them because they like when
people talk about them. And o Show definitely enjoys what
people have to talk about her. So she's like, yeah,
of cause yes, Lemonade, Beyonce and me. You know, she
(30:05):
loves that. And I feel like you cannot especially you know,
being in the tradition, you cannot curse how somebody finds it. Faugh,
That's not my job. I'm not going to demonizes or
even hold up my nose the way that you found Erisha,
because the way that you found Ratia is meek and
sacred to your own destiny. And people should hold space
(30:27):
for those who are exploring the alacial tradition because the Beyonce,
because you know Beyonce that what she had to do,
She's doing her purpose, you know what I'm saying. And
you have the purpose of you know, being in this
year to be kind, to have iwa Pellette, which is
a good character to be able to be like, Okay,
let me tell you what the truth is with the tradition,
(30:48):
because now you're interested, you know, rather then turning people away.
Just that's just my opinion anyway, you know. So you mean,
do you see more African traditional religions as a safe
space or kind of like a safe haven for people
in the LGBTQ community who may have failed, isolated or
ostracized by Christian communities or other kind of faith practices. Yes,
(31:11):
so I feel like, yes, there's so much space open
for people who are like me, who are queer and
trying to find community, and it just spoils down to
the elders and what they individual people, what they want
to twist defied too. Ifa. There are no olders and
Ifa that I know of that speak ill of people
(31:33):
who are queer. There are so many arisias I know
of who are queer, who are in our definition of queer,
who are not aligned within gender identities, like a Locum
or Malay man. Lay theercia that I am initiate into,
there is different versions and different stories where wherever you go,
they will be a different gender. You know what I'm saying,
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And that in of itself is queer to me. Shango
Marisia was not for being a drogno looking to be
able to be so beautiful that it kind of looked
like a woman, that he would do his hairstyles in
a way where it was deemed for a woman that
you would put on that you paint his face, that
he would cross stressed where it goes into battle. These
are like these little implications to know that the Eresia
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sees everybody. Euresha accepts everybody because it was the Euresha
that created everyone. You know what I'm saying very carefully
and very selectively. And before we are born, we go
through this process called oor re selection where we are
picking out our destiny, where we are picking out who
we want to be on Earth. And it's a heavy,
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heavy thing, a heavy process between the Arisha, yourself, and
the Creator who are all working on your orea to
make sure you become who you want to be on Earth.
You're not going to be queer by mistake. You're going
to be clear by purpose because your existence can help somebody,
and it can also help elevate and move for the
(33:00):
world's soul mission, which is to create peace, mutual reciprocity
with everybody. You know what I'm saying. So it really
is an intentional thing for people to be open, especially elders,
to be open to everybody, because that is what they
thought in the tradition is about mmmmmmmmmmm. And you tell
the story earlier about you know, how your mom kind
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of taught you and your siblings, you know, more Christian
practices as a way to kind of try to keep
you safe. Right, Like, if if we talk about these
kinds of things, you'll be even more ostracized. And I'm
wondering if you have ideas about, like how we can
talk to elders in our own families who may be,
you know, concerned. If we're learning more about this, are
starting to practice more of these things, what kinds of
conversations might we be able to have with them? Bring
(33:44):
up the stuff that they already do that is true
the work, and they don't want to talk about, like Mom,
why are you why do you never put your purse
on the ground? Mama? Why are you always cooking this
food on New Year's Day? What's what? Why don't you know?
Why don't you want to let my brow mit your feet?
You know what I'm saying. Those are the stuff, you
know when we could say, you are already doing something spiritual,
so let me do something spiritual with intention, you know,
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being able to be like this is what your life
is walking and this is what I'm going to do
with my life. And you just gotta have to understand.
And even the most beautiful thing with ancestor generation is
it will heal family ties, family wounds. It will make
things easier, It will make conversations easier, especially when you
(34:28):
tell your ancestors like I want to be honest with
my family, but what I do I don't want to
have to clean up the altar when the kaboa or
anything like that. And your ancestors will literally create space
for your mom to see your altars say saying like oh,
what's that about streaking out or wanting to understand or
even telling you stories of her own people, of her
(34:48):
own grandparents that you can add to your own little
you know, I always recommend having people like the little journal,
just stories of their ancestors to keep with them family tree.
It's really beneficial actually, so you can know which ancestor
to call and you need something, but to have that
and see how your own parents, how your own elders,
would be helping building your own ancestral veneration practice. Because
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what EO tells us is is our grandparents are literally
our connection to our ancestor. They are our first ancestors.
Our parents are first risia. And to be able to
understand how meaningful that is and how important that is
on both ends, how the parents the elders should be
understanding to have that title, to have that position in
(35:36):
someone's life, which means you need to have that position
with integrity, you know what I'm saying, and you're not
able to abuse that position. It's something what EFA says
how you should never go far away from your family,
but your family should never push you there to begin with,
you know, a mutual reciprocity practice in order for me
to treat you like the elder. You must first show
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me that you are the elder that I need that
I can treat you like that with you know, yeah,
so you've already given us the you know, the kind
of basics of building an altar you just mentioned, like
a journaling kind of exercise, right, like a family journal
of stories of family members. Are there other things that
you feel like beginners might be it might be helpful
(36:21):
for them to know about kind of learning more about
this practice. Oh yes, so food offerings. Offerings are amazing,
and offerings don't need to be so extra. I know
when we talk about food offerings, we can feel like
we need to cook like four course meal, what desserts, everything?
And I don't recommend doing that all the time, Like
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maybe you can do that for a New Year's Day
or for a particular ancestors birthday, but you can keep
things basic. What the food offering represents. What offering represents,
period is an energy transference because you're giving them energy
so they can have the energy to provide you with
whatever you need. You know what I'm saying. If they
do not have the energy, it's going to be hard
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for them to give you things to help you with,
things to assist you with things to even protect you.
So you are providing an energy transfer when you're saying
this is your cigar, this is your liquor, this is
your flowers, and I'm giving you with prayer. Prayer is
the most important thing because now you are empowering that
object and what you're offering. Prayer is understanding that you
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are connected to the Creator, connected to the universe, and
your words have the ashade the power to make anything
happen in this world. So when we take prayer and
we attach that to offering, which is the energy transfer,
now you're empowering your lineage and giving them the energy
they need to create change in your life, which is
the most beautiful thing in my opinion. So in offering,
(37:48):
don't ever move away from offering. Should always be laying
offering because offerings can help you. And I've seen how
offering from my own two eyes has cleared away so
much things in my mind, and I will always have
testimony for offering. Every day. You should be giving an
offering or making an offering every day. I would recommend
(38:11):
making an offering at least once a week to give
energy for me. I do lay offerings every day. I
lay offerings will never whatever food I'm laying, I will
have give some of them to my ancestors so they
are getting empowered. While I'm also not forgetting that because
you know, I also have a d h D as
well diagnosed, so it can be very hard being through
(38:32):
a diverse and keeping up with those things. So finding
out a schedule that works with you is what I
recommend thems got it, got it? Any other tips for beginners.
Keeping the altar clean is very important, making sure that
you are not having any mold on the altar, that
the water stays clear, that there's no incest cash on
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the altar space, because this helps you with you know,
just a clear mind, but also clear communication issue as well,
so you're avoiding spirits of confusion because a lot of
things like to live in a messy place, negative energy
likes live in a messy place, and negative energy and
tricks or spirits it can be very common when you're
keeping things in the clutter space. So not only keeping
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your alter clean, but also keeping your surrounding energy to
your ulter clean as well. MM thank you for that.
So many other resources that you find yourself suggesting for
people who want to learn more and more kind of
dive a little deeper into this topic. Are there things
that you suggest for our audience. I definitely recommend social
media because there's a lot of people out there who
(39:37):
know what they're talking about, and I would love to
shout them out a little bit if I kid um. Yeah,
of course. So like a little Juju, she is an
awesome person. She has a little Judu podcast. He talks
a little bit more deep about nsentral veneration. So many
people like myself and Eya the Asia. She has a
Patreon which she talks about ifa usual tradition in addition
(39:59):
to myself, what help. So there's so many people Yeah,
if yow me on Twitter. She also speaks a little
bit about each reach a tradition in the urbalist side
of the tradition as well. And there's so many you know,
a lot of people in that kind of spider web
who would be really good people. You're looking just for
a community space, the people that you trust too. Have
(40:21):
you kind of move with integrity to start your path
down this little rabbit hole, because once you get one information,
they're like, now I want to know everything we got you, Okay,
so tell us where we can find you. Please share
your website as well social media handles you'd like to share,
of course, so you can find me at a hem
Aura dot com and on Instagram and Twitter under the
(40:45):
same handle a heme Aura. I also have a Patreon
which you can find me at patreon dot com forward
slash a hem Aura, which I speak about Ifa and
Arisia and Sasha, veneration and general holistic wellness. Perfect. Thank
you so much for sharing with us today. You mean,
I really appreciate so much. I really appreciate you for
having me. Was awesome. Thank you. I'm so glad that
(41:11):
he May was able to share her expertise with us today.
To learn more about her and her work, or to
check out the resources that she shared, visit the show
notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash session
to sixteen, and don't forget to text two of your
girls right now and tell them to check out the
episode as well. If you're looking for a therapist in
(41:31):
your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory
at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And
if you want to continue digging into this topic or
just be in community with other sisters, come on over
and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy
corner of the Internet, design just for black women. You
can join us at community dot therapy for black girls
(41:53):
dot com. Thank you all so much for joining me
again this week. I look forward to continue in this
conversation with you all real soon. Take you care what