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June 20, 2025 31 mins

So many of us are frustrated by our lack of motivation or change.  But here’s the truth: You’re not lazy. You’re likely burned out, stuck in survival mode, or running on a nervous system that thinks “rest” is a threat. And willpower? It’s not a moral issue—it’s a limited resource, not a personality trait.

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

  • Why change feels so damn hard in midlife (even when you really want it)

  • What your brain is doing when you try something new—and why it slams the brakes

  • How perimenopause can make motivation and memory even harder

  • The difference between extrinsic and intrinsic motivation (and why one actually works)

  • Why shame, blame, and “just push through” doesn’t create change—but self-compassion does

This one’s for every Gen X or elder millennial woman who’s ever said, “I’ll start Monday,” only to spiral by Wednesday. Let’s get into the science, the humor, and the tools that actually work when life feels stuck.


✨ Mentioned in this episode:

  • Dr. Devon Price’s Laziness Does Not Exist

  • What’s really happening in your brain during change

  • Why I created Thrive Midlife (and yes, there are goats 🐐 and pizza farms 🍕)


💌 Questions or takeaways?
DM me on Instagram @kirasabin or email kira@thrivewithkira.com.
I want to hear what resonated—and where you’re still feeling stuck.

Do you need more laughter and joy in midlife?  That’s what Thrive Midlife is all about: a small group coaching intensive for women who are ready to LIVE LIKE THEY FUCKING MEAN IT.

Real tools. Real support. Real connection. No fluff. This is your LAST chance to join Thrive before prices go up.

🍁 PLUS—this fall, we’re meeting in Madison, Wisconsin for a soul-filling weekend retreat with full-on Stars Hollow in October vibes:

Lake views. Cozy sweaters. 🍎 Apple orchards. 🍕 Pizza farms. 🐐 Goats in sweaters. 🔥 Firepit chats. 🤩 Emotional breakthroughs. Real joy. Real connection.

Want in? Head over to https://www.thrivewithkira.com/thrive

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