Under The Umbra Ep 07 - Boundaries Part 1 of 2

In this episode, we're discussing Boundaries!

This is part 1 of 2. The next episodes will be about Power.

The Co-Host is Jenna Bowers and here's where you can find her work (and another cameo of her familiar Willoughby): TheWayWitch • Instagram • TikTok • Facebook

• 0:00:00    Intro and Credits
• 0:01:06    Introduction Chat with content warnings: swearing; Woo and existence of people who identify as being a witch; boundary crossing & boundary violation discussion, e.g. NAFTA, Russia invading Ukraine, medical malpractice, and discussion of coercive rape related to a famous attempted manslaughter case in the early 1990s.
• 0:08:03    Grounding Prayer with meows
• 0:08:58    Jenna's Intro - The Way Witch
• 0:11:02    Why should we talk about Boundaries? Why did I invite a professional witch on to talk about Boundaries?
• 0:16:03    So then what is a boundary? How do we look around at what boundaries already exist in the world to figure out our own? (credit to J. L. + R.B. workshop for learning this approach, link below!)
• 0:23:01    An exercise in exploring personal space and behavioral boundaries that requires empathy and collaboration; demonstrates how easy it is to cross boundaries even with non-malicious intentions, and then how it takes having your boundaries being respected to heal from boundary violations.
• 0:28:27    Interesting that we as a culture rarely explicitly talk about boundaries. Here are various realms for boundaries.
• 0:30:37    Useful  jargon: respecting, upholding, crossing, violating
• 0:35:15    Example from You're Wrong About podcast's depiction of Amy Fisher and Joey Buttafuoco: an older person exploits the ignorance of a younger person to violate many boundaries, and then in contrast with Big Strong and Kind desired behavior of more resourced people towards younger people
• 0:42:23    Review - what even are boundaries and who is defining them, upholding them, etc.; boundaries REQUIRE consent and collaboration and self-knowledge or community-cultural acceptance; if someone doesn't know where their boundaries are, it's much harder to respect them
• 0:46:44    So how do you discover your own boundaries? Start thinking of the many realms where boundaries can reside and questioning where you have felt your boundaries were crossed or violated.
• 0:48:30    Digression into Comfort; and how Whose Comfort Is Respected and Protected is a major component of oppressive regimes, featuring an inaccurately remembered recounting of #LaughingWhileBlack 2015.
• 0:54:16    Digression and spoilers for next series about Power
• 0:55:28    Jenna's final summary for how fragile boundaries are thus far, contrasted with everyone's innate deserving of boundaries
• 0:56:40    Outro and Credits

References mentioned in the show can be found in the show-notes!

This is Under the Umbra: Using Empathy and Collaboration to Navigate a World of Shadows. In each episode, Electra and the co-hosts explore ways to think about and plan for difficult relationships with people and systems in a way that stays grounded in values and centers community.  I invite you to try out focusing on Empathy and Collaboration as a realistic and compassionate model for interpersonal interactions. If you find yourself Under the Umbra, let's find our way back to