UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

In this week’s Listener Q&A, I’m answering two questions that reveal how we give away our emotional power to others' opinions and societal expectations. One listener struggles with body image after years of parental criticism—believing their worth is tied to their size. Another feels frustrated by always initiating sex in their marriage—turning intimacy into resentment.

Both questions highlight a key issue: we let other people’s...

Socialization tells us that happiness comes from hitting the right milestones— the prestigious career, the perfect body, the ideal partner. We’re taught that once we check off all the boxes and achieve enough, fulfillment will follow. But is that really true?

After 400 episodes of Unfuck Your Brain, I’ve completely transformed my life—but not by following the blueprint society handed me. The real shift happened when I stopped chasin...

Confidence is often talked about in the online empowerment space, but most people misunderstand it. We think of confidence as a feeling—a temporary emotion we either have or don’t have. But here’s the truth: confidence is much more than a feeling. In fact, the feeling of confidence is the last part—and the least important part.

In this episode, I’m breaking down why treating confidence as just a feeling keeps us stuck, and what you...

Does it constantly feel like you’re measuring yourself against some impossible standard? Whether it's your career, your relationships, or your body, that feeling of inadequacy can keep you stuck, unable to move forward.

In today’s episode, I’m breaking down why insecurity isn’t the real issue—it’s the lack of emotional security within yourself. When we’re constantly comparing ourselves to external expectations, we feel unsafe, unwor...

Are you exhausted from constantly worrying about what other people think of you? Whether it’s your boss, your family, or even strangers, this fixation zaps your energy and keeps you from being your authentic self. But here's the truth: the more you focus on their opinions, the less you connect with your own.

In this episode, I’m diving into why “just letting it go” never works, and why your brain can’t simply switch off these though...

Why do some opinions bounce right off us, while others stick like taffy, lingering in our minds and draining our energy? This isn’t random—it’s actually a clue to how our brains process feedback and, more importantly, what we really believe about ourselves.

In this episode, I’m diving into why we get fixated on some people’s opinions, even when they shouldn’t matter as much, and why others’ judgments just slide right by. The truth ...

Have you ever had a man ask why you care so much about what others think? And then found yourself at a loss for how to explain why it matters so deeply? There’s a reason women tend to fixate on others’ opinions, and it’s not simply a lack of confidence or insecurity.

This week, I’m diving into why this preoccupation with others’ opinions is so powerful for women—and why it’s not silly or superficial to acknowledge its hold ove...

Have you ever felt that sinking feeling in your stomach—the one that says, “There’s no point in trying because nothing will ever change”? That’s hopelessness, and it’s one of the most dangerous emotional states because it paralyzes us and keeps us stuck. It’s also one of the most deceptive thought patterns your brain can offer you.

This week, I’m breaking down why hopelessness is fundamentally a lie. When your brain tells you nothin...

Have you ever noticed how your body reacts when you're doom-scrolling? The tightness in your chest, shallow breathing, and racing thoughts aren’t just in your head—they’re physical responses from your nervous system reacting to perceived threats.

In today’s episode, I’m joined by somatic-based personal trainer Emily Decker to discuss how our bodies process information and why so many of us get stuck in cycles of anxiety and doom-sc...

Do you find yourself getting frustrated when others don’t see things exactly as you do? When this happens and we’re activated, afraid, or overwhelmed, we often assume our perspective is the only “correct” one. This rigidity creates tension in relationships, leaving us feeling isolated and misunderstood. Sound familiar?

In this episode, I’m revisiting a concept I call “You Are Not The Reference Point.” The key is realizing that your ...

After coaching thousands of women (and learning a lot from my own journey), I’ve realized that our brains are really good at focusing on what we haven’t yet accomplished, while completely glossing over what we have. That’s why it’s crucial to actively look for evidence of growth and progress.

In this episode, I’m sharing the three biggest insights I gained during my 43rd year: how to handle differences of opinion in relationships wi...

Is your brain stuck replaying the same unhelpful thoughts on a loop? You’re not broken—your brain is just doing what it’s been trained to do: cling to old stories, even when they’re holding you back. In this episode, I’m sharing one of my favorite coaching tools that can break that loop instantly. It’s simple, powerful, and might just change how you see everything—from your relationships to your goals to how you think about yoursel...

What does it really mean to be extraordinary—and why does it feel so uncomfortable to even ask that question? In this week’s episode, I’m unpacking the way society trains women and marginalized people to fear their own greatness. We’re taught that wanting more—more impact, more growth, more self-expression—is selfish or arrogant. And in times like these, when the world feels like it’s sliding backward, that message gets even louder...

Does the future feel totally impossible to plan for right now? As someone who loves planning and going after my goals, I’ve found it really hard to wrap my brain around long-term thinking when everything—politics, the economy, even basic social norms—feels like it’s shifting under our feet. So in this episode, I’m sharing how I’m navigating this moment—and offering a mindset shift that can help you move forward with clarity, even w...

Today, I'm revisiting one of the most essential tools in thought work: the thought ladder.

If you’ve ever tried to change your results by slapping on a shiny new thought that doesn’t quite feel believable, you already know it doesn’t work that way. In this episode, I’m breaking down why belief—not just thought—is what really drives change, and how to climb the ladder in a way your brain can actually follow. This work takes patience...

Ever felt the urge to shake things up with a bold, unexpected move? Women are taught that midlife is when we’re supposed to fade into the background, but what if it’s actually the perfect time to dream bigger, take more risks, and redefine what’s possible for ourselves?

This week, Master Certified Life Coach Susan Hyatt is back to talk about making courageous changes—at any age. She’s sharing her own wild decision to sail around the...

Are you struggling to focus with everything happening in the world right now? You’re not alone. When life feels chaotic and uncertain, it’s natural for your brain to spiral. But staying stuck in that disoriented, doom-scrolling state isn’t actually helping you feel safer—it’s just keeping you trapped in stress and anxiety.

In this episode, I break down why your brain wants to keep obsessively checking the news and why that strategy ...

Do you constantly feel like you need to control everything in your life? Like if you could just be more organized, more productive, more perfect, then you’d finally feel at peace? What if the real secret to feeling more fulfilled was actually letting go of that control?

This week, I’m joined by Oliver Burkeman, author of 4,000 Weeks, to talk about why embracing our limits—not fighting them—is the key to a more meaningful life. Oliv...