April 14, 2025 • 23 mins
🎙️Episode 396: How to Raise a Leader (Not Just a Hockey Player)
Summary
In this episode of the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, Rich Grogan discusses the essential qualities of leadership in youth hockey. He emphasizes the importance of work ethic, accountability, and the need for parents to guide their children without overstepping. Grogan shares personal anecdotes and practical advice for fostering leadership skills in young athletes, encouraging them to stand out through hard work and discipline rather than entitlement. The conversation highlights the significance of building a strong foundation for future success both on and off the ice.
Takeaways
Every parent wants their kid to earn more ice time.
Leadership is about standing out for who you are.
Work ethic is a talent that can be developed.
Good people make good players, both on and off the ice.
Earning ice time requires discipline and accountability.
Parents should guide without browbeating their children.
The little extras in practice make a big difference.
Entitlement is a barrier to true leadership.
Building a strong foundation is crucial for future success.
Encouraging kids to take responsibility fosters leadership.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Leadership in Hockey
06:58 The Importance of Work Ethic and Accountability
14:11 Building a Strong Foundation for Future Success
20:52 Encouraging Leadership and Overcoming Entitlement
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🔥 Welcome to the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast with Coach Rich Grogan, where we are "Unleashing Champions On & Off the Ice" 🏒💪
đź’ˇThe Go-to Podcast for Parents & Coaches - to help their athletes EARN More Ice Time & Leadership Roles, by standing out with Confidence, Discipline, Respect & Work Ethic!
🎙️ Hosted by Coach Rich Grogan, Founder of Warrior Confidence Hockey—Master Martial Artist, 2X Best-Selling, Award-winning Author, Mentor, Speaker, and Leadership Expert.
With over 40 years in martial arts and 50 years in hockey, Rich empowers players, parents, and coaches to build confidence, respect, and leadership skills to thrive both on and off the ice.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:17):
you
Every parent wants their kid to earn more ice time, more playing time, more time on theice.
Every parent wants their kid.
(00:56):
What do you want for your athlete?
Yeah, you want ice time.
Yeah, you want more playing time and key game situations.
But what about leadership?
You want your kiddo to wear that A or that C?
You want them to stand out, not because of their skill, their athletic ability or talent,but for who they are and what they do?
If that's for you, make sure you tune in today because we're going to be covering what ittakes to be a leader, what it takes to stand out, and what you as a parent can do to make
(01:21):
it happen without overstepping the bounds and without holding them back.
(01:48):
Welcome champions.
This is Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to for helping parents, players,coaches, and organizations build, develop, not only the best teams, but the best leaders,
those that lead within...
(02:17):
Welcome, champions.
This is Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, and I'm your host, Astor Coach Rich.
Welcome, champions.
This is the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to for players.
(02:52):
Welcome, champions.
Welcome champions to the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to show for parents,players, coaches, and organizations to help build and develop not only great teams and
great organizations, but great leaders that continue to thrive on and off the ice, thatcontinue to grow and develop other leaders when they're coming up through the ranks of the
(03:30):
Welcome champions to the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to show for players,parents, and coaches on learning what it takes to lead by example, to lead with integrity
on and off the ice, to develop discipline, accountability, self-respect, confidence inorder to not only be great hockey players and great teammates and develop great teams, but
(03:52):
develop those leaders who stand out from the crowd that leave a legacy and make our job ascoaches easier, right?
We got it by working together.
what makes teams when players, parents, and coaches are all on the same page?
Well, today, we're talking about leadership.
Now, think about this, parents.
You want more for your kiddo than just ice time.
(04:12):
I get it.
You want ice time.
That's what you're paying for.
And of course, every parent, a lot of times we look through those rose-colored glasses.
We don't see all the flaws and all the setbacks and things that could be holding our kidback from gaining that ice time, those key game situations, or earning that A or that C on
their jersey.
Well, here's the thing.
You don't need an A or an a C on your jersey to be a leader.
(04:36):
You have to be a leader first in order to earn that A and that C.
That's something that's often overlooked.
Now, parents, I'm coming at you here.
I always hit you with that right hook of reality because I'm speaking to you as the mentorI always wish I had.
Same way I speak to the players.
And I'm going to share with you a lot of things I talk about in the locker room with theplayers to tell them what they need to hear.
(04:58):
A lot of times it's not what they want to hear.
but it's coming from a loving place.
And it's all about helping them develop to be the absolute very, very best they can be.
So today I'm my Brian Sutter shirt with my C on there.
Brian was my mentor kind of growing up.
One of his famous quotes was, work ethic is a talent too.
And you guys that listen to the show all the time, you hear me talk about that.
(05:21):
You know, I was always one of the smallest, shortest guys on every team.
Definitely was not the most talented or gifted ever.
But somehow, someway, I earned ice time.
I earned A's.
I've earned C's.
Not on my report card, but on my jersey.
Bad joke.
All right.
Anyway, how did I do that?
And how did I play at a much higher level than my actual athletic ability could haveallowed?
(05:46):
Work ethic, accountability, discipline, respect, wanting something and willing to do whatothers weren't willing to do in order to earn it.
Standing out from the crowd.
Now, was it easy?
No.
Just like, I mean,
Anytime we stand out, regardless of a parent, player, coach, it's tough because you feellike you're all by yourself.
But that's how you excel.
(06:07):
That's how you get noticed.
That's how you gain what you want most.
And what do you want most for your kids?
You want ice time.
You want them to be in key game situations, right?
Absolutely.
And of course, you want those leadership roles.
So can I see my jerseys on the wall here?
As I mentioned, Brian Sutter, work ethic is a talent too.
But his other quote that I got on the back of my book is,
(06:28):
good people make good players.
And winning on the ice starts by winning off the ice.
And that's what we're gonna talk about, not only winning that ice time, but winning thoseleadership roles.
So let me ask the question, what do you want for your kiddo?
And I kind of already answered that, I get it, I want, hopefully you want what I want,which is more than just wearing that A or C on the ice.
(06:50):
You want them to learn how to be a leader.
You want them to learn how to stand out from the crowd.
You want them to learn those valuable traits of earned.
not given, because nothing in life is given, but they're going to earn that ice time.
And the same concept, same philosophy, same work ethic, same discipline, same amount ofaccountability that they apply to themselves to earn that ice time is also going to help
(07:10):
them stand out from the crowd to earn anything they want in life.
When they go apply for a job, they're going to have that mindset.
And that's what we're talking about.
mean, so before I get to that point, the last episode, if you haven't listened to it, whenyou're done here, listen to it.
Because I talked all about, look, parents lay in the
right back on you.
Do you trust your player or would you if you were the coach trust your player in key gamesituations?
(07:34):
Now if that wasn't an immediate yes, then that's where we need to begin.
So back to leadership.
Leadership is not blending in with the crowd.
If everybody on the ice is kind of dogging it, just going through the motions at practice,not giving their very, best, you know, when the coach isn't looking, they're coasting,
they're not going all the way the line.
(07:55):
you it's tough.
I never enjoyed it.
But doing those little extras, I talked about that a lot too, that little 1%, 1%, thatlittle bit more, that's how you stand out.
That's how you get noticed.
So, when doing the edge work drills, coach isn't looking so you start straightening yourlegs and coasting or you still grind it.
(08:18):
You're still cutting in the ice, still doing your best and parents, you see a lot ofparents that are watching practice, you're seeing your kiddo.
you know if they're putting forth their best or not.
And of course, nowadays we got a live barn.
So all you gotta do when you bring it up to your kid and they say, oh, I wasn't doingthat, just check out the live barn.
Video does not lie or videotape them.
(08:41):
know, back with the martial arts academy, I had to always tell the parents, because theysay, how do I get my kid to, they won't practice, they won't practice, they won't
practice.
I said, well, if they want to earn their next belt, they're going to put in the practice.
And then they'll say, well, OK, well, they're practicing.
But man, they're not putting forth very much effort.
But they say they are.
I said, get out your phone.
Just videotape it.
Video doesn't lie.
(09:01):
And then say you're going to show this video to the instructor.
Well, same thing.
Just show them the video.
You can do that.
Yeah, well, I how to work our phone.
So while they're at practice, get off social media and film some of it.
Now, there's a balance in life.
You've got to help and guide and motivate your kid in order to get what they want.
(09:21):
You can't browbeat them to death all the time.
And I say that because everything I say is for learned experience.
You can be too hard and your message is never going to get absorbed, or you can be toosoft and nothing's ever going get done.
You got to find that balance.
Well, also what you're teaching them by finding that balance is how to be a leader, how tolead them.
(09:41):
And if they want those leadership roles, if they want more ice time, and I know that'swhat you want for them, then they got to be willing to do things that others aren't
willing to do, standing out.
And I'm telling you, the little extras are what's going to get noticed.
And why?
It's kind of sad, actually, is because nobody's willing to do it in society.
I got everybody playing the I'm Entitled card.
(10:04):
Well, one, no one is entitled to anything, especially ice time and leadership roles.
Just because you may be the most talented player on the ice or you may score the mostgoals doesn't mean you're going to wear the A or the C.
If you're on my team, one of the teams I work with are coach.
You're going to earn it.
You're going to earn it by leading by example.
(10:24):
Like I mentioned, those character traits, hard work, because hard work is a talent too,according to Brian Sutter.
And I believe it.
Respect, discipline, accountability, not pointing fingers, not making excuses.
I said, well, I would, but, it's not my fault.
Coaches don't want to hear that.
another thing, and often parents, I'm giving you advice.
(10:46):
You know a lot of this, but maybe it's something you hadn't heard before.
But also, I encourage you to share this.
with your kids.
Share it in the car.
Help them.
Why?
Because if you truly want something bad enough, you'll find a way.
If not, you'll find an excuse.
Well, I'm kind of giving you the way to help them out.
And of course, excuses, everybody makes excuses.
(11:07):
Why?
Because it's easy.
Finding a way is hard.
But guess what?
Becoming a leader, becoming a hero, becoming a champion that you were born to be, thatyour athlete was born to be, that takes work.
Can you do it?
Absolutely.
Are you going to do it?
I don't know.
I hope so.
Because I want what you want.
And kind of my whole goal is to be the mentor that I always needed in my life.
(11:28):
And a part of that mentorship is focusing 100 % on the hockey community, helping theplayers, parents, and coaches and organizational leaders develop confident, disciplined,
accountable leaders who stand out, who earn trust, who earn ice time, earn leadershiproles, and lead by example both on and off the ice.
So I've asked several questions there, questions that I can't answer for you.
(11:51):
Well, here's your warrior confidence tip.
Your warrior confidence tip is this.
If you want it, you'll find a way.
I'm giving you the answers.
I'm giving you some suggestions, some tips that you can use, that you can share with yourathlete to help them get what they want.
But at the end of the day, and I keep bringing up that word accountability, that's what itboils down to.
You've got to be accountable.
(12:11):
So me and my youngest son, Emmett, have been hitting the gym pretty hard.
He's going to be a junior this, he's a sophomore now, but the next hockey season,
And the summer spring summer rec high school hockey season actually starts this week.
And he's been the backup varsity goalie the last two years.
He's only had three or four years experience in the nets, but he's worked his butt off toearn that.
(12:35):
Well, he wants that starter job this year.
So he's been going to the gym and pound it, working out hard and not only lifting theweights, she's been doing extremely good job at, he's toning up, definition starting to
get there, his flexibility is getting better.
but also his cardio.
He's been in lot of cardio work as well.
Now he still needs on ice work as well, but my point of telling you this story is it's notjust going to the rink one day a week and thinking that's going to cut it.
(13:00):
You got to do the work behind the scenes.
And I started off talking about that 1 % difference, doing a little bit more than almosteverybody else is willing to do.
I'm telling you, it's going to add up.
And I'm rereading a book that I read years and years ago called The Slight Edge by JeffOlson.
That book talks about the difference between those that excel, those that excel togreatest heights, and those that don't.
(13:24):
It's that slight edge, that small little difference.
And I tell my, well, players, and I talk about it on the podcast and videos and my ownson, look, it's not what you do every once in a while that makes a difference.
It's what you do consistently, day in and day out.
That journey of 1,000 miles starts with that first step.
(13:44):
Now, that first step is always the hardest.
It is never the easiest.
Here's an example for you.
A train, when it's first taken off from the station, it takes more energy, more drive, andconsumes almost as much or more fuel just taking off as it does the whole rest of the
trip.
Sort like a rocket.
Now, when rocket's taken off to go into outer space, it expends far more energy and fueljust to launch off than it does the whole rest of the trip.
(14:11):
once that rocket gets going, once that train gets trucking, chugging, chugging, chugging,chugging, chugging down the track, man, it becomes an unstoppable force.
But getting started is the hardest thing.
Now, I had double hernia surgery back in December, and I was laid up longer than I hadhoped to be, but it was a little more rugged than I thought.
(14:32):
Well, anyway, finally when it was time and safe to come back, and that was I startedhitting the gym seven weeks ago today.
seven week streak of five days or more at the gym.
Now I'm not telling you that to brag or to boast, but coming back after that was tough.
I mean, real tough.
Some of the things that I was doing before I got hurt, and I'd been hurt for some time,I'd kind of delayed the surgery forever, don't do that.
(14:57):
Especially with a hernia, it's not gonna heal on its own.
I knew that, but I thought, well, maybe.
Well, not in my 20s anymore.
I don't know if it would have healed in my 20s or not.
I had similar injuries back then and I seemed to be okay, but.
Not my 20s anymore.
So things don't heal as quickly.
So dads out there are macho dads and coaches.
Sometimes we've got to be a little smarter than what we like to be.
Yes, could be macho, could be tough, but be smart as well.
(15:20):
So anyway, seven weeks now, and I've been hammering it.
And every single time, the bully in my mind doesn't want to do it.
It's like, oh, do you really want to do this?
Well, the answer is yes.
That's discipline.
That's accountability.
Well, my little buddy Emmett, who's 16 now, the goalie is telling you about.
a son, he's on a four week streak of five workouts or more.
(15:42):
And we're holding each other accountable.
He wants something bad enough, he's willing to work for it.
Now goalies, well, I guess they could be wearing A or C, but it's not very practical.
But I tell him, look, as a goalie, you're never going to wear an A or C, but you lead byexample, how you carry yourself in the locker room, the things you're doing when you're
(16:03):
off the ice, how you talk, how you communicate, the eye contact you make.
the respect, the accountability, the discipline, all those things.
And in real life, nobody's wearing an A or a C around, but it's the characteristics andthe life traits that they earn and learn as a player and the way you help them, parents
and coaches, they're to help them lead in the real world.
(16:25):
Because yes, as much I wanted to play pro hockey, it never happened.
Just one of those things just did not happen.
Just didn't have the talent.
Flat out, me.
but I played at a much higher level than my natural ability should have allowed because ofthose traits I'm talking to you about.
Well, here's the thing.
Your kid, I hope they play the highest level possible.
And if they're to breach that crest and play pro hockey, man, that's great.
(16:52):
But regardless, do they do or they don't, they're going to be members of society.
And I want them and I want you to get what you want out, which is the best kid possible,right?
leading by example, standing out from the crowd.
Someone, you know, they meet somebody and say, man, there's something special about thatkid.
I don't know what it is.
That's what I want.
(17:12):
And that's everything I've tried to do with my own three kids.
And I'm really proud of them.
I mean, they're not flawless.
They're 24, 21, and 16.
But gosh darn it, I always get praise in public.
I'm not saying that to brag or to boast, but they not act.
So we set a standard.
We set a set of rules.
You want something, you're gonna get it.
You're work for it and earn it in order to get it.
(17:34):
It's not just gonna be handed to you.
Well, that's the thing.
We live in an entitled society where everyone wants to blame someone else.
Everyone that thinks they're entitled to ice time, entitled to leadership roles just byshowing up, that's just not the real world.
Now somebody new listened to the podcast, like, what the heck, man?
Well, if that's too much for you, maybe this isn't the right show for you.
(17:55):
I wanna do my best.
They have the message and power everyone out there, but I'm also not going to lie to you.
I was on a show earlier today, which was great.
Kind of a question and answer.
And one of the things was brought up about entitlement and athletes and this everybodygets a trophy.
And I spoke what I believe.
(18:16):
And I think that is one of the most devastating, tragic things as society has done is givepeople something they haven't worked hard enough or earned.
giving kids grades that they didn't earn or work hard enough for because they didn't wantto hear the parents complain.
Giving a kid a trophy just so they're not whining and crying.
Man, when you do that, when you give somebody something they haven't put in the work andearned, they're never going to appreciate it.
(18:42):
And the example I brought up was if we don't teach kids, now everybody needs help.
That's why we're doing the podcast, is why you're listening.
I'm doing what I can to help you on some of the things that I've learned along the way.
And please drop in the comments some thoughts to help me grow.
I'm a human.
I'm learning.
I'm growing.
But I said, if we don't help the kids and hold them accountable at a young age and theydon't know how to learn how to overcome small problems, they're never going to learn how
(19:07):
to overcome teenage and adult problems.
It's kind of a building block of a foundation.
You got to build it up.
You got to learn how to solve these problems at a young age in order to learn, thecondition skills and mindset in order to solve the problems at a bigger, older age.
And by giving somebody a trophy or a title they didn't man oh man.
They think they they're entitled to it.
(19:29):
They deserve it because they think because they show up.
They deserve ice time.
Oh, I think the way it is in the real world and we all know that now once again, I'm notsaying you hang them out the drive by themselves.
We're there to help but gosh darn it at some point in time, they gotta take.
always just say spoon feeding back over martial arts Academy.
(19:50):
I said how many of you kids and I'm talking to the teenagers.
You sit at the table and mommy and daddy take the spoon and fork and still feed you.
Nobody.
I how many of you would be embarrassed if your mom and dad came to school and spoon fedyou in front of all your friends?
Like, whoa.
I said, well, when you tell me that your mom forgot this, your dad forgot that, you'retelling me that you need somebody to spoon feed you because you can't take care of
(20:14):
yourself.
Some people say, my gosh, that's so harsh.
Is it?
Is it really?
it's teaching accountability.
You want your kid to be a leader?
they've got to be held accountable.
Woo!
Wham!
There's that right hook again.
Well, good stuff.
Wait, as a reminder, my book, How to Get More Ice Time, given Amazon New Release BestSeller, pick up a copy.
(20:36):
Great, great stuff in here.
And the title, How to Get More Ice Time, is essentially, how do you get anything you wantin life by following the things I just talked about here, but it goes really in depth in
the book.
And it's an easy read for the kids there, and it's for players, parents, and coaches.
But yeah, I mean, look.
There's no wall of words.
got every chapter broken up into small bite sized pieces, because I get it.
(20:58):
Nobody wants to read a wall of words and just get bored out of their mind.
Got my right hooks of reality, my warrior confidence tips in there.
I've got the championship philosophies.
It's all in there.
Pick up a copy, go to Amazon.
It's on Amazon.
can direct link is get more ice time.com or just click on the link in the description boxtake you there.
And then of course, our workbook and program and
(21:20):
The full program, the full workbook, everything you'll need works on leadership, works onaccountability, works on gaining ice time, gaining respect and learning how to develop
that accountability and self-discipline.
And it all starts off, I got a $9, nine bucks masterclass video.
That kind of is the first buy-in, if you will.
And if you want to upgrade and get the other features, which I highly encourage, a quickstart guide and the workbook, man, oh man, it's going to set your kiddo on the path for
(21:47):
success.
They're going to have something.
that they're doing in the background that others aren't doing, that's gonna help themstand out from the crowd and help them get that ice time you want, those leadership roles
you want, that ice time and key game situations that you want, and most importantly, it'sgonna teach them how to lead by example by standing out from the crowd.
So parents, man, links are in the description box.
Click on that, nine bucks, how can you go wrong with that?
(22:10):
But also, share this message with not only your athletes and your kids, but if you knowthere's a player on the team, a parent that needs to hear this.
please share as well.
And my goodness, listen more than once, because you're always going to pick up somethingthat maybe you missed the first time.
one, here's the thing.
Let me give you this example.
(22:30):
If you ever read a book and then went back and read a book a second time years later,you're going to swear that the author came in your house, went to your bookshelf, and
rewrote the book and added parts in that weren't there the first time.
Like, this wasn't there the first time.
I would have remembered that.
Well.
the difference, or I guess the magic is, if you will, is when you listen or read somethinga second time or a third time, you're gonna be a higher level of learning than you were
(22:57):
the first or second time that you read it.
So you're gonna pick up on something that maybe your brain just wasn't ready for at thetime.
And the fact that your brain can only absorb so much at once.
So that's why I encourage you to listen to the podcast more than once.
And the best opportunity is to share this with your kid in the car as you go into a gameor practice.
Say, hey, look at that Coach Rich guy.
to everything I've been saying.
You need to skate all the way to the line.
(23:18):
You need to stand out from the crowd.
You need to be doing off ice conditioning.
You need to be working out all those things in order to earn that ice time.
And if you want that A, you want that C, you want those crucial game minutes, this is whatyou got to do.
Boom.
So I'm doing all the work for your parents.
Sound good?
All right.
So hey, just a reminder, your Warrior Confidence tip.
You want it bad enough, you'll find a way.
(23:39):
If you don't, you'll find an excuse.
No excuses.
Accountability.
parents, we got to do our part to hold our kids accountable.
Because I mean, kids, they're always going to take the easy way out because that's whatmost of society does.
We're going to train them, we're going to help them, we're going to condition them not totake the easy way out, take the path less traveled, do the hard things.
(24:00):
And yeah, it's like getting that train started out of that station.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
And we're going to get that baby rolling.
And it's going to become unstoppable for us.
Good?
All right, wait, drop in the comments.
What was your favorite part of the show or drop in the comments?
If like I mentioned before in the last podcast, if you were the coach, would you trustyour kiddo?
(24:22):
Have they earned that trust in that ice time?
Well, once you drop in the comments, one thing you're doing or one thing your kiddo isdoing to help them stand out from the crowd.
Or if you don't want to write it all out, just drop in there.
We're doing it.
Give me that muscle emoji.
All right.
Well, thank you so very much for tuning in today.
I truly appreciate it.
Like I said, the links for the book.
and the masterclass and the workbook and the programs all in the description box there.
(24:48):
And if you found value in this and mean the world to me, if you share it with someoneelse, and of course we love those five star reviews on those podcast channels, that's what
helps boost the, I guess in the search engines to help our podcast appear higher in therankings.
And at the same time on our YouTube channel, make sure you like, subscribe and ring thatbell and share the videos so others can benefit from us as well.
(25:08):
All right.
Thank you.
I love you.
God loves you.
Please share that love with the world.
And until we talk again, you get out there and do your best and help empower your kiddosto be their very, best.
And I promise, they'll be their best, you'll be your best, and holy smokes, we're gonnahave the best leaders the world could ever hope for.
Talk to you soon, everybody.
(25:28):
God bless.
Bye-bye.
you
Every parent wants their kid to earn more ice time, more playing time, more time on theice.
Every parent wants their kid.
(00:56):
What do you want for your athlete?
Yeah, you want ice time.
Yeah, you want more playing time and key game situations.
But what about leadership?
You want your kiddo to wear that A or that C?
You want them to stand out, not because of their skill, their athletic ability or talent,but for who they are and what they do?
If that's for you, make sure you tune in today because we're going to be covering what ittakes to be a leader, what it takes to stand out, and what you as a parent can do to make
(01:21):
it happen without overstepping the bounds and without holding them back.
(01:48):
Welcome champions.
This is Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to for helping parents, players,coaches, and organizations build, develop, not only the best teams, but the best leaders,
those that lead within...
(02:17):
Welcome, champions.
This is Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, and I'm your host, Astor Coach Rich.
Welcome, champions.
This is the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to for players.
(02:52):
Welcome, champions.
Welcome champions to the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to show for parents,players, coaches, and organizations to help build and develop not only great teams and
great organizations, but great leaders that continue to thrive on and off the ice, thatcontinue to grow and develop other leaders when they're coming up through the ranks of the
(03:30):
Welcome champions to the Warrior Confidence Hockey Podcast, your go-to show for players,parents, and coaches on learning what it takes to lead by example, to lead with integrity
on and off the ice, to develop discipline, accountability, self-respect, confidence inorder to not only be great hockey players and great teammates and develop great teams, but
(03:52):
develop those leaders who stand out from the crowd that leave a legacy and make our job ascoaches easier, right?
We got it by working together.
what makes teams when players, parents, and coaches are all on the same page?
Well, today, we're talking about leadership.
Now, think about this, parents.
You want more for your kiddo than just ice time.
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I get it.
You want ice time.
That's what you're paying for.
And of course, every parent, a lot of times we look through those rose-colored glasses.
We don't see all the flaws and all the setbacks and things that could be holding our kidback from gaining that ice time, those key game situations, or earning that A or that C on
their jersey.
Well, here's the thing.
You don't need an A or an a C on your jersey to be a leader.
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You have to be a leader first in order to earn that A and that C.
That's something that's often overlooked.
Now, parents, I'm coming at you here.
I always hit you with that right hook of reality because I'm speaking to you as the mentorI always wish I had.
Same way I speak to the players.
And I'm going to share with you a lot of things I talk about in the locker room with theplayers to tell them what they need to hear.
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A lot of times it's not what they want to hear.
but it's coming from a loving place.
And it's all about helping them develop to be the absolute very, very best they can be.
So today I'm my Brian Sutter shirt with my C on there.
Brian was my mentor kind of growing up.
One of his famous quotes was, work ethic is a talent too.
And you guys that listen to the show all the time, you hear me talk about that.
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You know, I was always one of the smallest, shortest guys on every team.
Definitely was not the most talented or gifted ever.
But somehow, someway, I earned ice time.
I earned A's.
I've earned C's.
Not on my report card, but on my jersey.
Bad joke.
All right.
Anyway, how did I do that?
And how did I play at a much higher level than my actual athletic ability could haveallowed?
(05:46):
Work ethic, accountability, discipline, respect, wanting something and willing to do whatothers weren't willing to do in order to earn it.
Standing out from the crowd.
Now, was it easy?
No.
Just like, I mean,
Anytime we stand out, regardless of a parent, player, coach, it's tough because you feellike you're all by yourself.
But that's how you excel.
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That's how you get noticed.
That's how you gain what you want most.
And what do you want most for your kids?
You want ice time.
You want them to be in key game situations, right?
Absolutely.
And of course, you want those leadership roles.
So can I see my jerseys on the wall here?
As I mentioned, Brian Sutter, work ethic is a talent too.
But his other quote that I got on the back of my book is,
(06:28):
good people make good players.
And winning on the ice starts by winning off the ice.
And that's what we're gonna talk about, not only winning that ice time, but winning thoseleadership roles.
So let me ask the question, what do you want for your kiddo?
And I kind of already answered that, I get it, I want, hopefully you want what I want,which is more than just wearing that A or C on the ice.
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You want them to learn how to be a leader.
You want them to learn how to stand out from the crowd.
You want them to learn those valuable traits of earned.
not given, because nothing in life is given, but they're going to earn that ice time.
And the same concept, same philosophy, same work ethic, same discipline, same amount ofaccountability that they apply to themselves to earn that ice time is also going to help
(07:10):
them stand out from the crowd to earn anything they want in life.
When they go apply for a job, they're going to have that mindset.
And that's what we're talking about.
mean, so before I get to that point, the last episode, if you haven't listened to it, whenyou're done here, listen to it.
Because I talked all about, look, parents lay in the
right back on you.
Do you trust your player or would you if you were the coach trust your player in key gamesituations?
(07:34):
Now if that wasn't an immediate yes, then that's where we need to begin.
So back to leadership.
Leadership is not blending in with the crowd.
If everybody on the ice is kind of dogging it, just going through the motions at practice,not giving their very, best, you know, when the coach isn't looking, they're coasting,
they're not going all the way the line.
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you it's tough.
I never enjoyed it.
But doing those little extras, I talked about that a lot too, that little 1%, 1%, thatlittle bit more, that's how you stand out.
That's how you get noticed.
So, when doing the edge work drills, coach isn't looking so you start straightening yourlegs and coasting or you still grind it.
(08:18):
You're still cutting in the ice, still doing your best and parents, you see a lot ofparents that are watching practice, you're seeing your kiddo.
you know if they're putting forth their best or not.
And of course, nowadays we got a live barn.
So all you gotta do when you bring it up to your kid and they say, oh, I wasn't doingthat, just check out the live barn.
Video does not lie or videotape them.
(08:41):
know, back with the martial arts academy, I had to always tell the parents, because theysay, how do I get my kid to, they won't practice, they won't practice, they won't
practice.
I said, well, if they want to earn their next belt, they're going to put in the practice.
And then they'll say, well, OK, well, they're practicing.
But man, they're not putting forth very much effort.
But they say they are.
I said, get out your phone.
Just videotape it.
Video doesn't lie.
(09:01):
And then say you're going to show this video to the instructor.
Well, same thing.
Just show them the video.
You can do that.
Yeah, well, I how to work our phone.
So while they're at practice, get off social media and film some of it.
Now, there's a balance in life.
You've got to help and guide and motivate your kid in order to get what they want.
(09:21):
You can't browbeat them to death all the time.
And I say that because everything I say is for learned experience.
You can be too hard and your message is never going to get absorbed, or you can be toosoft and nothing's ever going get done.
You got to find that balance.
Well, also what you're teaching them by finding that balance is how to be a leader, how tolead them.
(09:41):
And if they want those leadership roles, if they want more ice time, and I know that'swhat you want for them, then they got to be willing to do things that others aren't
willing to do, standing out.
And I'm telling you, the little extras are what's going to get noticed.
And why?
It's kind of sad, actually, is because nobody's willing to do it in society.
I got everybody playing the I'm Entitled card.
(10:04):
Well, one, no one is entitled to anything, especially ice time and leadership roles.
Just because you may be the most talented player on the ice or you may score the mostgoals doesn't mean you're going to wear the A or the C.
If you're on my team, one of the teams I work with are coach.
You're going to earn it.
You're going to earn it by leading by example.
(10:24):
Like I mentioned, those character traits, hard work, because hard work is a talent too,according to Brian Sutter.
And I believe it.
Respect, discipline, accountability, not pointing fingers, not making excuses.
I said, well, I would, but, it's not my fault.
Coaches don't want to hear that.
another thing, and often parents, I'm giving you advice.
(10:46):
You know a lot of this, but maybe it's something you hadn't heard before.
But also, I encourage you to share this.
with your kids.
Share it in the car.
Help them.
Why?
Because if you truly want something bad enough, you'll find a way.
If not, you'll find an excuse.
Well, I'm kind of giving you the way to help them out.
And of course, excuses, everybody makes excuses.
(11:07):
Why?
Because it's easy.
Finding a way is hard.
But guess what?
Becoming a leader, becoming a hero, becoming a champion that you were born to be, thatyour athlete was born to be, that takes work.
Can you do it?
Absolutely.
Are you going to do it?
I don't know.
I hope so.
Because I want what you want.
And kind of my whole goal is to be the mentor that I always needed in my life.
(11:28):
And a part of that mentorship is focusing 100 % on the hockey community, helping theplayers, parents, and coaches and organizational leaders develop confident, disciplined,
accountable leaders who stand out, who earn trust, who earn ice time, earn leadershiproles, and lead by example both on and off the ice.
So I've asked several questions there, questions that I can't answer for you.
(11:51):
Well, here's your warrior confidence tip.
Your warrior confidence tip is this.
If you want it, you'll find a way.
I'm giving you the answers.
I'm giving you some suggestions, some tips that you can use, that you can share with yourathlete to help them get what they want.
But at the end of the day, and I keep bringing up that word accountability, that's what itboils down to.
You've got to be accountable.
(12:11):
So me and my youngest son, Emmett, have been hitting the gym pretty hard.
He's going to be a junior this, he's a sophomore now, but the next hockey season,
And the summer spring summer rec high school hockey season actually starts this week.
And he's been the backup varsity goalie the last two years.
He's only had three or four years experience in the nets, but he's worked his butt off toearn that.
(12:35):
Well, he wants that starter job this year.
So he's been going to the gym and pound it, working out hard and not only lifting theweights, she's been doing extremely good job at, he's toning up, definition starting to
get there, his flexibility is getting better.
but also his cardio.
He's been in lot of cardio work as well.
Now he still needs on ice work as well, but my point of telling you this story is it's notjust going to the rink one day a week and thinking that's going to cut it.
(13:00):
You got to do the work behind the scenes.
And I started off talking about that 1 % difference, doing a little bit more than almosteverybody else is willing to do.
I'm telling you, it's going to add up.
And I'm rereading a book that I read years and years ago called The Slight Edge by JeffOlson.
That book talks about the difference between those that excel, those that excel togreatest heights, and those that don't.
(13:24):
It's that slight edge, that small little difference.
And I tell my, well, players, and I talk about it on the podcast and videos and my ownson, look, it's not what you do every once in a while that makes a difference.
It's what you do consistently, day in and day out.
That journey of 1,000 miles starts with that first step.
(13:44):
Now, that first step is always the hardest.
It is never the easiest.
Here's an example for you.
A train, when it's first taken off from the station, it takes more energy, more drive, andconsumes almost as much or more fuel just taking off as it does the whole rest of the
trip.
Sort like a rocket.
Now, when rocket's taken off to go into outer space, it expends far more energy and fueljust to launch off than it does the whole rest of the trip.
(14:11):
once that rocket gets going, once that train gets trucking, chugging, chugging, chugging,chugging, chugging down the track, man, it becomes an unstoppable force.
But getting started is the hardest thing.
Now, I had double hernia surgery back in December, and I was laid up longer than I hadhoped to be, but it was a little more rugged than I thought.
(14:32):
Well, anyway, finally when it was time and safe to come back, and that was I startedhitting the gym seven weeks ago today.
seven week streak of five days or more at the gym.
Now I'm not telling you that to brag or to boast, but coming back after that was tough.
I mean, real tough.
Some of the things that I was doing before I got hurt, and I'd been hurt for some time,I'd kind of delayed the surgery forever, don't do that.
(14:57):
Especially with a hernia, it's not gonna heal on its own.
I knew that, but I thought, well, maybe.
Well, not in my 20s anymore.
I don't know if it would have healed in my 20s or not.
I had similar injuries back then and I seemed to be okay, but.
Not my 20s anymore.
So things don't heal as quickly.
So dads out there are macho dads and coaches.
Sometimes we've got to be a little smarter than what we like to be.
Yes, could be macho, could be tough, but be smart as well.
(15:20):
So anyway, seven weeks now, and I've been hammering it.
And every single time, the bully in my mind doesn't want to do it.
It's like, oh, do you really want to do this?
Well, the answer is yes.
That's discipline.
That's accountability.
Well, my little buddy Emmett, who's 16 now, the goalie is telling you about.
a son, he's on a four week streak of five workouts or more.
(15:42):
And we're holding each other accountable.
He wants something bad enough, he's willing to work for it.
Now goalies, well, I guess they could be wearing A or C, but it's not very practical.
But I tell him, look, as a goalie, you're never going to wear an A or C, but you lead byexample, how you carry yourself in the locker room, the things you're doing when you're
(16:03):
off the ice, how you talk, how you communicate, the eye contact you make.
the respect, the accountability, the discipline, all those things.
And in real life, nobody's wearing an A or a C around, but it's the characteristics andthe life traits that they earn and learn as a player and the way you help them, parents
and coaches, they're to help them lead in the real world.
(16:25):
Because yes, as much I wanted to play pro hockey, it never happened.
Just one of those things just did not happen.
Just didn't have the talent.
Flat out, me.
but I played at a much higher level than my natural ability should have allowed because ofthose traits I'm talking to you about.
Well, here's the thing.
Your kid, I hope they play the highest level possible.
And if they're to breach that crest and play pro hockey, man, that's great.
(16:52):
But regardless, do they do or they don't, they're going to be members of society.
And I want them and I want you to get what you want out, which is the best kid possible,right?
leading by example, standing out from the crowd.
Someone, you know, they meet somebody and say, man, there's something special about thatkid.
I don't know what it is.
That's what I want.
(17:12):
And that's everything I've tried to do with my own three kids.
And I'm really proud of them.
I mean, they're not flawless.
They're 24, 21, and 16.
But gosh darn it, I always get praise in public.
I'm not saying that to brag or to boast, but they not act.
So we set a standard.
We set a set of rules.
You want something, you're gonna get it.
You're work for it and earn it in order to get it.
(17:34):
It's not just gonna be handed to you.
Well, that's the thing.
We live in an entitled society where everyone wants to blame someone else.
Everyone that thinks they're entitled to ice time, entitled to leadership roles just byshowing up, that's just not the real world.
Now somebody new listened to the podcast, like, what the heck, man?
Well, if that's too much for you, maybe this isn't the right show for you.
(17:55):
I wanna do my best.
They have the message and power everyone out there, but I'm also not going to lie to you.
I was on a show earlier today, which was great.
Kind of a question and answer.
And one of the things was brought up about entitlement and athletes and this everybodygets a trophy.
And I spoke what I believe.
(18:16):
And I think that is one of the most devastating, tragic things as society has done is givepeople something they haven't worked hard enough or earned.
giving kids grades that they didn't earn or work hard enough for because they didn't wantto hear the parents complain.
Giving a kid a trophy just so they're not whining and crying.
Man, when you do that, when you give somebody something they haven't put in the work andearned, they're never going to appreciate it.
(18:42):
And the example I brought up was if we don't teach kids, now everybody needs help.
That's why we're doing the podcast, is why you're listening.
I'm doing what I can to help you on some of the things that I've learned along the way.
And please drop in the comments some thoughts to help me grow.
I'm a human.
I'm learning.
I'm growing.
But I said, if we don't help the kids and hold them accountable at a young age and theydon't know how to learn how to overcome small problems, they're never going to learn how
(19:07):
to overcome teenage and adult problems.
It's kind of a building block of a foundation.
You got to build it up.
You got to learn how to solve these problems at a young age in order to learn, thecondition skills and mindset in order to solve the problems at a bigger, older age.
And by giving somebody a trophy or a title they didn't man oh man.
They think they they're entitled to it.
(19:29):
They deserve it because they think because they show up.
They deserve ice time.
Oh, I think the way it is in the real world and we all know that now once again, I'm notsaying you hang them out the drive by themselves.
We're there to help but gosh darn it at some point in time, they gotta take.
always just say spoon feeding back over martial arts Academy.
(19:50):
I said how many of you kids and I'm talking to the teenagers.
You sit at the table and mommy and daddy take the spoon and fork and still feed you.
Nobody.
I how many of you would be embarrassed if your mom and dad came to school and spoon fedyou in front of all your friends?
Like, whoa.
I said, well, when you tell me that your mom forgot this, your dad forgot that, you'retelling me that you need somebody to spoon feed you because you can't take care of
(20:14):
yourself.
Some people say, my gosh, that's so harsh.
Is it?
Is it really?
it's teaching accountability.
You want your kid to be a leader?
they've got to be held accountable.
Woo!
Wham!
There's that right hook again.
Well, good stuff.
Wait, as a reminder, my book, How to Get More Ice Time, given Amazon New Release BestSeller, pick up a copy.
(20:36):
Great, great stuff in here.
And the title, How to Get More Ice Time, is essentially, how do you get anything you wantin life by following the things I just talked about here, but it goes really in depth in
the book.
And it's an easy read for the kids there, and it's for players, parents, and coaches.
But yeah, I mean, look.
There's no wall of words.
got every chapter broken up into small bite sized pieces, because I get it.
(20:58):
Nobody wants to read a wall of words and just get bored out of their mind.
Got my right hooks of reality, my warrior confidence tips in there.
I've got the championship philosophies.
It's all in there.
Pick up a copy, go to Amazon.
It's on Amazon.
can direct link is get more ice time.com or just click on the link in the description boxtake you there.
And then of course, our workbook and program and
(21:20):
The full program, the full workbook, everything you'll need works on leadership, works onaccountability, works on gaining ice time, gaining respect and learning how to develop
that accountability and self-discipline.
And it all starts off, I got a $9, nine bucks masterclass video.
That kind of is the first buy-in, if you will.
And if you want to upgrade and get the other features, which I highly encourage, a quickstart guide and the workbook, man, oh man, it's going to set your kiddo on the path for
(21:47):
success.
They're going to have something.
that they're doing in the background that others aren't doing, that's gonna help themstand out from the crowd and help them get that ice time you want, those leadership roles
you want, that ice time and key game situations that you want, and most importantly, it'sgonna teach them how to lead by example by standing out from the crowd.
So parents, man, links are in the description box.
Click on that, nine bucks, how can you go wrong with that?
(22:10):
But also, share this message with not only your athletes and your kids, but if you knowthere's a player on the team, a parent that needs to hear this.
please share as well.
And my goodness, listen more than once, because you're always going to pick up somethingthat maybe you missed the first time.
one, here's the thing.
Let me give you this example.
(22:30):
If you ever read a book and then went back and read a book a second time years later,you're going to swear that the author came in your house, went to your bookshelf, and
rewrote the book and added parts in that weren't there the first time.
Like, this wasn't there the first time.
I would have remembered that.
Well.
the difference, or I guess the magic is, if you will, is when you listen or read somethinga second time or a third time, you're gonna be a higher level of learning than you were
(22:57):
the first or second time that you read it.
So you're gonna pick up on something that maybe your brain just wasn't ready for at thetime.
And the fact that your brain can only absorb so much at once.
So that's why I encourage you to listen to the podcast more than once.
And the best opportunity is to share this with your kid in the car as you go into a gameor practice.
Say, hey, look at that Coach Rich guy.
to everything I've been saying.
You need to skate all the way to the line.
(23:18):
You need to stand out from the crowd.
You need to be doing off ice conditioning.
You need to be working out all those things in order to earn that ice time.
And if you want that A, you want that C, you want those crucial game minutes, this is whatyou got to do.
Boom.
So I'm doing all the work for your parents.
Sound good?
All right.
So hey, just a reminder, your Warrior Confidence tip.
You want it bad enough, you'll find a way.
(23:39):
If you don't, you'll find an excuse.
No excuses.
Accountability.
parents, we got to do our part to hold our kids accountable.
Because I mean, kids, they're always going to take the easy way out because that's whatmost of society does.
We're going to train them, we're going to help them, we're going to condition them not totake the easy way out, take the path less traveled, do the hard things.
(24:00):
And yeah, it's like getting that train started out of that station.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
It's going to be tough.
And we're going to get that baby rolling.
And it's going to become unstoppable for us.
Good?
All right, wait, drop in the comments.
What was your favorite part of the show or drop in the comments?
If like I mentioned before in the last podcast, if you were the coach, would you trustyour kiddo?
(24:22):
Have they earned that trust in that ice time?
Well, once you drop in the comments, one thing you're doing or one thing your kiddo isdoing to help them stand out from the crowd.
Or if you don't want to write it all out, just drop in there.
We're doing it.
Give me that muscle emoji.
All right.
Well, thank you so very much for tuning in today.
I truly appreciate it.
Like I said, the links for the book.
and the masterclass and the workbook and the programs all in the description box there.
(24:48):
And if you found value in this and mean the world to me, if you share it with someoneelse, and of course we love those five star reviews on those podcast channels, that's what
helps boost the, I guess in the search engines to help our podcast appear higher in therankings.
And at the same time on our YouTube channel, make sure you like, subscribe and ring thatbell and share the videos so others can benefit from us as well.
(25:08):
All right.
Thank you.
I love you.
God loves you.
Please share that love with the world.
And until we talk again, you get out there and do your best and help empower your kiddosto be their very, best.
And I promise, they'll be their best, you'll be your best, and holy smokes, we're gonnahave the best leaders the world could ever hope for.
Talk to you soon, everybody.
(25:28):
God bless.
Bye-bye.
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