In this powerful episode of Women of Impact, Lisa Bilyeu welcomes the trailblazing psychologist, author, and current President of the American Psychological Association, Dr. Thema Bryant. Renowned for her expertise in trauma recovery and healing, Dr. Thema joins Lisa to dive into the realities of heartbreak, betrayal, and emotional pain—and, most importantly, how to begin rebuilding your sense of self after it all feels shattered.
Dr. Thema unpacks why recognizing and accepting our pain is the first step toward genuine healing, dismantling the lies we’ve been told about ourselves, and stepping out of shame and denial. From discussing the damaging waiting game for an apology, to offering insights from narrative therapy, she guides listeners to reclaim agency in their lives and shift their internal narratives. If you’ve struggled with toxic hope, anger, or the burden of forgiveness, this episode is packed with essential truths to help you break free.
SHOWNOTES
00:00 What to do when your heart is broken
00:32 The importance of admitting you're hurting
01:32 The danger of denial and how it feeds shame
02:32 Healing and the ripple effect on your relationships
03:11 Surrounding yourself with the right people
03:29 Why waiting for an apology keeps you stuck
04:41 Restorying your life through narrative therapy
05:46 Moving from “why” to “what now”
06:17 Dismantling core negative beliefs
07:11 How to detect the lies you’ve absorbed
08:31 The “hope as handcuffs” trap
09:26 Differentiating between joint and solo hope in relationships
10:45 Recognizing empty words vs. changed behavior
11:47 The double-edged sword of anger and revenge
12:22 Constructive vs. destructive anger
13:49 Breaking the revenge spiral and centering yourself
16:06 Real-world examples of holding on to old wounds
17:05 External messages and body image: it's not all your fault
18:30 Forgiveness redefined: forgetting, speed, and reconciliation
FOLLOW DR. THEMA BRYANT:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.thema
Website: https://www.drtaymabryant.com
Podcast: The Homecoming Podcast
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