"Love Will Check You First" Featuring Adrian Marcel

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome back to XOman podcast.
I'm your host, Kiara Walker.
On this episode of XOman, I'll be joined by R &B singer and songwriter, Adrienne Marcel.
Long story short, we just kept hanging out.
My girl had definitely found out about her and there was a lot of issues at that point.
But at this point, I think that we had got so connected.

(00:21):
I remember her just texting me, like, you know what, I'm going be honest.
We're not going to be together and it's going to piss me off.
I really want to be with you and dang, you know.
I was quick, I was fast.
I had a scholarship on the rise for track, you know.
But in the midst of all of that, my femur broke.
That's why I used...
Gosh.
Yeah, hence why I always say, you know, I'ma keep you hip like a femur.

(00:42):
Red flag or green flag always keeps their phone on do not disturb face down.
Okay, so what are you high?
Somebody stole my phone at work one day.
Like somebody ran in, came in the restaurant.
Forget a trip, forget going shopping.
I'm putting it into this.
She demands that you share your location with her indefinitely.

(01:06):
how long have we been in the works?
we'll say between nine months and a year.
I feel like when you talk about sharing a location, I feel like that's not even somethingthat should be necessarily asked for.
It should be something that's given.
That ain't even a red flag.
That's a no flag.
I'm not even around.
From his Bay Area roots to chart-tapping success, we're talking about love and what itreally means to be a man in the music industry.

(01:32):
Let's get into it.
Welcome to the XO Man podcast.
I'm your host, Kiara Walker.
They say men don't talk.
They hold it all in, never let their guard down.
But here, we like to do things differently.
I sit down with black men from all walks of life, actors, singers, entrepreneurs,athletes.
everyday guys to peel back the layers of who they are beyond the stereotypes.

(01:56):
A space where black men get to be real, raw, and unfiltered.
We're talking about relationships, love, success, struggles, fears, and the parts ofmasculinity that don't always get the spotlight.
Some conversations will challenge what you think you know.
Some might make you laugh.
And some might just make you look at the men in your life a little differently.
So whether you're here to learn or just hear some dope conversations, you're in the rightplace.

(02:20):
So pull up, listen in, and let's have the conversations that matter.
It's time for the XO Men podcast to begin.
Blessed and highly favored in the vocal core department because I was listening to some ofyour music and I was watching some clips.
saw you were on uh Tank's podcast.
And out of nowhere, you just start singing and it sounded so beautiful.

(02:45):
And I was so jealous at the same time.
I low key think I'm tone deaf.
I tell every singer that because I am.
And so when I hear a powerful, beautiful voice, it has to be applauded.
So go you.
Anyway, you're welcome.
ah For those people who are not familiar with your beautiful music.

(03:09):
Can you tell everybody a little bit about how you would describe your sound and who youmake music for?
Well, you know, I uh make R &B music.
And if you don't know what R &B is, it's OK.
We getting your hip like a femur and caught up like an affair, you know, on everything.

(03:29):
It's a blend of hyphy with traditional R &B, with the traditional R &B sound.
You know, the lyrics are extremely Bay Area.
You know, that's hence the R &B, B-A-Y, not B-A-E.
I'm talking about we doing Bay music.
I come from the Bay area, East Oakland to be exact.

(03:51):
So lot of my music has a certain edge to it that speaks to certain truth to how men arehere, how the lingo is here and how our persona is.
In the Bay area, we talk a little different.
We move a little different and we love different.
So when it comes to the music, we infuse it with a lot of Bay area-ism.

(04:15):
you um know, which is, like I said, its own thing, its own sound, but it's still blendedwith your traditional R &B sound.
You you still have the Sonics and the historical um R &B feel, you know, that you love andlove with, you know, from the greats.
But we just kind of blending it together with, you know, with the Bay Area.

(04:37):
So kind of imagine a Michael Jackson or Usher, you know, meets E-40.
meets too short, meets, you know what I mean?
So there's, there is a little, you know, more of an edge to it.
However, it's still very smooth.
It's still sexy.
It still can be whatever it needs to be to whoever it needs to be that for.
Y'all don't stop watching or listening to the podcast yet listen to the whole interviewthen I want you to go listen to the music I was not super familiar with your music before

(05:08):
and I Was talking to a friend and she was like, my gosh, you don't know who he is and youlove R &B I say you have to send me this because y'all know if it's hard to find new music
sometimes and I try to jump around I try the different apps
ah because I do enjoy new music and I'm so glad that this interview happened so that Icould find out about you and really listen.

(05:32):
I want to talk more about that because I've heard you say some things about uh labels notknowing how to market you and all of that but before that we're gonna take a light and
we're gonna play a quick game of Red Flag Green Flag.
you
Okay, and if you want to elaborate on anything, if anything strikes a chord with you, youlet us know.

(05:53):
You can speak freely.
uh Red flag or green flag always keeps their phone on do not disturb face down.

(06:33):
What are you hiding?
You filming somebody?
oh If we engage, if we got something going, if the vibe is strong, we tapped in, we lockedin, then none of that will be a distraction.
I think that, and maybe from oh my own flaws and my own sneakiness, you know I'm saying?

(06:58):
Because whenever my phone has been face down,
It's because I'm trying to keep some things under wraps.
You know what mean?
I'm trying to keep things cooler.
You know what I'm talking about?
I do know exactly what you're talking about.
let's see.
She asks for your birth date, time of birth and location in the first five minutes of thedate.

(07:28):
yeah, taxi, Uber, Lyft, we're-
Now why is that freaking you out?
I mean, that's too much information.
That's TMI, you know what saying for you?
You know, we haven't even got into a groove yet.
You know what I'm saying?
Now, birthday, mean, maybe you some Zodiac freak or something like that.

(07:49):
You want to try to help that.
You need astrology to help you figure me out, do the homework for you.
you know what I mean.
All the rest of it, man, you might as well ask for my social security while you at it too.
You know what's funny about that?
The question is all about the zodiac.
I forgot you have been married and in a relationship for long time.

(08:10):
It's rough in these streets.
So the astrology crew, the astrology gang, they have gotten past, we're going to look inthe back of a magazine or look on the app and say, oh, he's an Aries.
So this is how he is.
You need a time of birth, the location so they can do a whole chart to figure out.
You didn't know that was going on, did you?

(08:31):
There's a song in there somewhere.
There's a song in there somewhere.
You think about personal information.
thinking you trying to tap into my bank account.
trying to tag.
Wow, when you say location, I'm thinking, you what saying?

(08:52):
You tracking the iPhone.
know what I mean?
Okay.
All right.
Cool.
Call off the Uber.
Okay, speaking of locations on the phone, red flag or green flag, she demands that youshare your location with her indefinitely.

(09:12):
How long have we been in the works?
uh When was this established?
All have been together, we'll say between nine months and a year.
You do not live together, but you are in a relationship.
How many bills has she helped me pay?
How many, like, what we doing?
We together.

(09:34):
Y'all don't live together.
She doesn't pay bills.
She takes you on dates sometimes.
She buys you nice gifts.
She shows up to the shows.
ah But yeah, that's where it stops.
no bills getting paid.
But me personally, me personally, I feel like when you talk about sharing a location, Ifeel like that's not even something that should be necessarily asked for.

(09:56):
It should be something that's given.
You know what mean?
It's not, know, even with even with friends of mine, it's like, you know, let me share mylocation with you.
So you know what you know, so you know, you know, you know, I'm good or whatever the case,you know I'm saying?
That's not really necessarily something that should be demanded.
You know, I demand that I know where you're at at all times.

(10:18):
That sounds diabolical.
That sounds a little, a little manly.
Like this is already off to a bad start because number one, we shouldn't really bedemanding anything but respect right now.
Within that nine month, 12 month period, like that's the only thing to be adding isrespect and, you know, some, some QT, you know, but yeah, but,

(10:44):
Demanding my location kind of scares me a little bit, yeah.
Yeah, it's given controlling vibes and end of the day, people gonna do what they want todo.
Location on or off.
m
it anyway.
You can have my location and still not know what I'm doing there.
You know what saying?

(11:04):
cheat at home.
Man, meet me at the Wells Fargo parking lot.
Like we can figure it out.
So wild.
Okay, red flag or green flag.
You do something creative, whether this is another R &B singer or a podcaster or whatever.

(11:28):
And the other person is constantly calling your career a hobby.
When you gonna get a real job.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that ain't even a red flag.
That's a that's a no flag.
I'm not even around I'm gone.
I'm That's yeah, we can't we that's not gonna be okay I don't think anybody you knowanything that anybody puts their passion behind whether it's a uh Artistic job whether

(11:52):
it's a corporate job anything, you know um I'm big on taking the that little out ofsentences like your little job or your little you
Like your little self.
Yeah, your little show.
Yeah, ain't nothing little about nothing.
Like, you know, we not here forever.
You know, we not on this earth forever.
Like we got we have a limited time to really do the things that make us happy, that giveus that give us satisfaction, know, inner satisfaction, just as much as external.

(12:22):
So if there's anybody that's around me, be it somebody who's of love interest, um or justfriendship or whatever if
anyone is looking at anything that I'm doing, any endeavor that I'm doing such as that,then I got to get away from them.
ah I got to get out of there.
It's not going work.

(12:42):
That's three red flags right there in one.
That's three strikes.
Come on.
Do you ever think though that there comes a point in a person's life when they are doingsomething and chasing their dreams and they're not seeing any success that they might need

(13:07):
to reevaluate how they're handling things or maybe like, okay, you still do this, this isstill your thing, but maybe you do get another job.
It doesn't have to be your main thing, get something flexible.
Because we need money as people, unfortunately.
If only we could live for free.
If only things were free.

(13:29):
think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life though.
You know what mean?
Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this earth for thatsole purpose.
You know I mean?
I do not believe that God has us here in dire need of proving ourselves by making money.

(13:50):
Now, again, that is not me saying at all.
I'm not trying to ball out.
You know what mean?
But we are here to be happy.
We are here to fulfill a purpose that we were put on here for.
um With that being said, everything comes with adjustment.

(14:11):
You know what I mean?
There are audibles that we all have to call for ourselves, but it's all about payingattention to the signs of life.
If you find yourself trying to find new ways to make money,
because you need to survive, right?
And your passion or what you feel your purpose is, is not necessarily delivering as youwant it to or needed to at the time.

(14:34):
If you find that it's constantly hurting you, it's constantly setting, putting you in moreof a strain, though you may have make more money, but you're still in a strain, you're
stressed out, it's, I feel that that's telling you something.
that's telling you that you're going outside of your purpose.

(14:55):
I could tell myself, man, I need to make more money.
I should sell drugs.
Like, I know what I'm saying.
Like,
That's how the Bay Area thing different, huh?
That's funny.
I can go hustle.
I could go do all these things.
But again, is it necessarily still feeding my passion?

(15:16):
So I like how you said if there is an alternative thing that you can do, is theresomething else?
There are other ways, like for instance, if you are an artist, if you make music or ifyou're into sports or something like that, there are always alternative things that are in
that category that you can also give yourself too.

(15:36):
That's still kind of
will add to what it is you do.
Me as a singer, I can say, okay, cool, man, let me help people with singing lessons orwith music training, music theory, or something in the field, you know what I'm saying,
that is giving back to that.

(15:56):
Let me go write for other people.
Let me go produce for other people.
But to be an artist, to say, I'm a singer, I'm in this music business, but...
Okay, man, let me go work at Wells Fargo.
Let me go do this bank job.
How does that add to your purpose outside of your account?
It's like you're not feeding your passion.

(16:18):
So I do believe that if things aren't working out and you do get to a certain stage andage, that there is some audibles that do need to be called and need to be figured out.
I also just, it's hard to say because we really own God's time.
And we think, we tell ourselves there's a date, but it's not more important than thedestination.

(16:42):
So, you know, God is thinking of the destination.
We looking at the date.
Like I need to be rich by the time I'm 35.
Like I need to, I need X, Y, and Z by the time I'm 40.
You know, where God is like, man, I ain't got it really planned out for you till you 50.
But when you get 50, you gonna ball out.
I mean, so again, we don't know.
We don't know.

(17:02):
I'm big on the signs of life though.
You know, there are always signs that say, hey, this is not what you should be doing.
This is given hobby right now because it's not, you know what saying?
There's a lot of people who want to be singers, but let's just be real.
Like it ain't your calling.
not mine.

(17:23):
If I could, I would, but I cannot.
And if I even was like, hey, can you give me some singing lessons?
You could take my money, but you would be laughing at me so bad and I would be a foreverclient because I ain't never gonna get it.
I think it's just, all depends on just paying attention to the signs of life.

(17:46):
I've tried other things in the past before and they have hurt me.
What did you try?
Well, started to go into early on in my career.
I was still doing sports.
So I was still trying to ball out in other ways.

(18:07):
I was good.
I was
What sport did you play?
I was running a track, was basketball, know, there were, you know, I was, I was solid, youknow, I had a, I had a J, you know I'm saying?
And on top of that, I was quick, I was fast, I had a scholarship, you know, on the risefor track, you know, but in the midst of all of that, my femur broke, you know, hence why

(18:34):
I use the, yeah, hence why I always say, you know, I'm gonna keep you hip like a femur,that's.
That's kind of where I took that from, you know?
But things like that.
uh I stepped away and I was going to, you know, step into like a teaching lane, you know,sort of.
And with that, it just, it burnt me.

(18:56):
It just did not get me, even with any success that happened in anything at those timesback then, I was so unhappy.
you know, and to a different degree, like not just like, man, I really just want to be asinger.
So that's why I'm unhappy.
Nah, was like, it just was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.

(19:17):
um I've had corporate jobs, I've had all these different things throughout time.
And it just, never gave me, it never gave me true satisfaction.
was, just,
It was so bad that I would feel like I was getting sick.
was hurting.
didn't have the like, my attitude, my character, just so many things were off balance forwho I usually am.

(19:46):
I find that with this, anytime something did start to work though, this music thing wouldalways say, it was almost like an X, or you do, you know what saying?

(20:25):
Boom, that thing you've been waiting on.
Look at that opportunity you've been waiting on.
Here it is now.
are you still gonna walk away or are you gonna come back?
So it's always something that has pulled me back here.
But again, that's me.
So I can't really say.
Everybody's gonna have to figure it out for themselves, but I think that hearing people behonest and vulnerable about what they've gone through to get through life uh Trying to

(20:51):
figure that out.
Do I chase my passion?
Do I do something safe?
What is it?
I felt the same way I've had a million jobs and I keep a few jobs and I went to school forbroadcast journalism and I thought that I was gonna be a talk show host and
podcasts were not really a thing that I knew of when I was in school.

(21:15):
And so it's funny how life works out because um I got a job at a radio station.
I started working in radio, but I wasn't getting the um opportunities that I wanted andthat I felt like I deserved.
And I'm a firm believer in if you really...
believe in yourself and you really wanna do something that you're talking about, stopwaiting for everybody else to tell you that you deserve it and that you can do it and just

(21:40):
go make it happen.
People will fall in line where they need to.
And so I have been creating content, podcasts, all sorts of things ever since.
And then it's funny to see people circle back and wanna come back and give youopportunities that they would pass you up over in the past.
But it's like, I knew that this is something that I wanted to do.

(22:01):
I've had other jobs in corporate America too and other random things.
I've done everything from driving Uber and Lyft to working in little ghetto lounges,arguing with customers, trying to make sure they don't run out.
Somebody stole my phone at work one day.
Like somebody ran in, came in the restaurant, tricked me to get a to-go cup of water.

(22:22):
And then I came back to give it to them and they had snatched my phone.
I had just bought it.
And I, I wish I even remember what they look like.
Cause if I ever saw them, I'd slap them, but you know, it's beside the point.
I've just had a bunch of different things, but it's always been like, okay, I'm going todo this because I do have bills.
But when I get off from this, I'm going back to work on this or now I'm getting traction.
Let me put, take the money from here and pay my bills and everything extra.

(22:44):
Forget a trip, forget going shopping.
I'm putting it into this, you know?
And I think that that's another thing.
Sometimes it's not that you have to stop something, but you may cut out your extras.
You're fine.
Cause like you say, you can borrow out when you 50.
Look at Steve Harvey.
Cause he is living a fabulous life, okay?
For real, for real.

(23:05):
mean, me it was early on, you know, it was more about like, what really made me, whatreally fulfilled me in life?
Like what things did I really need?
I was, I've never been a material person.
So I've never been someone that really needed to be, you know, wear flashy, wear flashythings and, you know.

(23:29):
Just, I don't know, just have all of the most expensive looking things.
Those things never excited me.
what I mean?
um So I always was like, you know, when I had money, it was about putting it intosomething.
So I spent a lot of my money on, you know, getting a property and putting everything I hadinto the property and to say, okay, well, I'm going to build a home.

(23:54):
You know, I'm going to build the home that me and my wife want.
you know, that money, that equity that's gonna build from this is going to be muchgreater, you know, than us just spending on all these aimless things that we want.
Yeah, you know, I get it, you want bags and you want this, you want shoes and all thisstuff, but it's like, none of that really means anything.

(24:17):
I can't give that to my children.
And I would rather say, okay, well, we can teach our children, like, what it means to, youknow,
work to build what you want, to build, to see us build our house from the ground up, totake a lot of nothing and create um all these memories now that they share in this home.

(24:40):
It's like when I this house, this will go for a triple what we paid for it.
You know I mean?
Because of the way that I looked at how to do it, going to property that's here in the Bayarea, find an area that looks like eventually it will
build itself up.
Like, let's take this little, you know, nothing home that ain't been touched since the40s, 50s, you know, unlivable, and let's tear it down to the ground.

(25:09):
And let's go ahead and build up what we want.
And now looking at the neighborhood, you know, selling for all of this money and, youknow, the, the, the, just everything just going up the property value around us and all
that going up.
It's like watching those things like
investing into things that will hold money for us rather than us just having it andspending it so that everybody else outside of who's important to us can see us balling

(25:35):
out.
I mean, it's a sacrifice, you know I'm saying?
Because you got to play it down.
You got to sit back and, like you said, okay, we can't trip like that right now.
Like we can't.
I gotta miss out.
Sorry girls.
Yeah, can't, you know what saying?
You can't do that right now.
however, but if you're surrounded by real ones, if you're surrounded by your quarters andnot a bunch of pennies, like man, your people gonna kick it with you.

(26:03):
It's like, hey, we in the slime with you.
We having a ball in the mud.
We ain't tripping on that.
So it's really about, you know, the circle you keep around you too and just how you smartwith your endeavors and your investments.
Now that is such a responsible way to look at money.

(26:23):
Is that something that you had to learn as an adult or did your parents instill that inyou?
I definitely had to learn that as an adult because I wasn't paying attention when myparents were trying to instill that in me.
know, kids were closed.

(26:43):
was moving how I was moving.
You know, I'm the baby of six.
So.
gosh, are you the only boy too?
Okay.
No, no, That would be even worse for sure.
But oh no, the baby is sick.
So, you know, I just wasn't hearing nothing.
I was really I've been focused on music since since like 1112.

(27:08):
You know, it was just, you know, to this day, my mother tells me it's like, please, pleasedo not let your kids get into music.
please.
uh
Well, she's hurt.
My mother went through.
She went through it with me.
You know, she went through all the ups and downs.
She's seen it all.
As a kid, I was crazy about music.

(27:30):
You know what mean?
I was I wasn't sneaking out to go to parties.
I was sneaking out to go to the studio.
You know, you come in my room.
And I'm in this hood studio.
With drug dealer.
And you know, it's like.
It slummed out, you know, it's the gut.
um but, you know, it just, put her through a lot.

(27:55):
She, you know, she put me in all of these different musical programs.
Every program I went to, I was just so East Oakland.
So it was just like, I'm going in here turning it out.
You know what mean?
This is a prestige, young musicians program.
I'm coming in smelling like weed.
I'm, I'm coming in.

(28:15):
I'm, I'm having everybody also.
Like, what we doing?
We not worried about this right now.
Like, come on, y'all, let's dip off and go, let's go cake up and everything.
And why be writing classical music?
Like, let's go, let's talk about some, you know what I mean?
Some real, so it was just, I was always coming in and kind of just like forcing myselfinto these situations to readjust them and change them.

(28:39):
And a lot of times it led to calls home and you know what mean?
Suspensions and all this other stuff, you know, but.
But you know, she just, her thing was like, saw me willing to struggle in this capacitythat was to her unheard of.
Like I didn't have any problem looking like a bum.

(29:02):
I didn't have any prob, because I knew what I was doing.
I was giving to my passion.
I was sleeping in studio.
You know what mean?
I was like sleeping in booths.
You know, cars not washed.
um
I mean, it was so many things for her and my pops that was just out of bounds.
Like, you don't look like you're taking care of yourself.

(29:23):
You don't look like you're taking care of yourself and all of this.
I'm like, because that's not what's important to me right now.
Like, I'm trying to it happen.
And it doesn't consist of how it all looks to anybody else.
So for her, she's just like, just teach him that it's other ways to get money in music.
Teach him the business.
I didn't.

(29:43):
problem, I didn't learn the business until later.
It was so much about me being a singer, me being an artist, me being in it and industry,signed, all this other stuff, but not thinking about the business, not understanding what
royalties are, how many different forms of royalties there are, the difference betweenyour royalties and your publishing, your masters and all these different elements to music

(30:10):
business.
not being savvy of it and going through that, getting into this industry and learning thatthe hard way by being beat out of stuff, by being cheated out of things, by, you know what
I being left behind on to see me in that state.
I'm pretty sure she hurt more than I did, you know, because I took it as like, this isjust paying dues.

(30:31):
She took it as like, you know, something deeper.
So she like, her thing is not that they can't do music, but just teach them.
to be better than you were in that form.
Like teach them the business, make sure they know the ins and outs and not just they havegood voices or they have talent.

(30:51):
So that's more of where she was coming from with it, you know?
Now your kids, how many do you have?
I have four.
for whoo.
So full house over there.
What are the age ranges and you have girls, boys?
What's the breakup?
All girls and one boy.
one of them is an additional daughter of mine.

(31:14):
When I had mother, she was three.
So she's just like mine.
um She's awesome.
She's like one of the best big sisters anybody could ask for.
mean, the way she loves her uh siblings, Like the second mom, when you got them.

(31:35):
But she's 20, she's 21 now.
my oldest, my actual oldest, she's 16 on the 31st of this month.
Yeah, we just got her a car.
She's gonna find out in a few weeks about this car.

(31:59):
Y'all are cool parents.
I'm super nervous.
You know, it was a it was a mixture of her grandparents and her parents.
But if it was up to me, she would have had a bucket, you know, because I'm I'm the dadthat's like, like, listen, I'm the dad that tells her, you know, because she was sending

(32:22):
me like for Christmas that she was sending me like Mustang GTs and all this brand newstuff.
And I'm and I'm the one that's hitting her back like
Do you understand that in the first two years of driving is when you have your worst andmost accidents?
Like I'm going through this.
The safety, yeah.

(32:43):
like, let me hit my grandfather.
You're tripping.
My pops calls me like, you know, we can't do that.
We got to get her something nice.
You know, we I found a couple things.
Let's go look at it.
So I'm like, alright, so we ended up getting her some not not crazy, though.
I'm not one of the parents pulling off the live balling.
But it's still above what I feel she needs to work with for the first car.

(33:07):
But hey, you know, whatever it's good.
the kid.
She is a great kid.
She's a great kid.
And then my youngest girl is 10, who you saw on the camera.
That's my little superstar right there.
She does it all.
She will out- She's the one doing what I was doing.

(33:31):
I was the one when birthday came up.
they bought the candle, I had to sing.
So that's like her job now.
know, the girl has had rhythm since she was two years old.
um She is she does she can out dance the best of them.

(33:52):
Little cheerleader, you know, I mean, she's, she's into it all.
She's so cool, man, you know, and then my youngest is my son, my only son, he's five.
And he is a boy boy, he runs track, he basketball.
plays football, he wrestles, is, yeah, mean, he ride, oh, he's a extreme dirt bike rideralready.

(34:22):
Yeah, so he's doing jumps off things and, you know, he got the real dirt bikes.
it's a little scary for me, it's a little new for me, you know, but he actually does thatwith his older sister, my 16 year old.
She's a dirt bike rider.
You know, she's real time boy.
So her and him, they get together and they get crazy.

(34:46):
So it's an interesting bunch.
Yeah, well, I definitely want to talk some more about the kids, but you said somethingthat made me think of something.
You said your son is like really a boys boy.
He's doing that stuff.
He's outside getting dirty.
When you were growing up, did anybody ever give you any slack for wanting to sing versusanything else?

(35:12):
No, no, I didn't get any slack.
I didn't get any slack for that.
Luckily, I was around, I was around a lot of people that were pretty supportive, you know,of what I was, what I, what I was doing.
and I also was very strong minded too.
So it was really hard to like, make me feel any kind of way.

(35:32):
I was the kid, Anne, and you say all that to say what?
Yeah.
But I was still into sports.
I was still, like I said, I was very into basketball, always into track.
So I still was into those things.

(35:53):
But to me, it was just like there was something about music.
And also too, I was girl crazy from...
Really?
from pacifier on up.
So like, you know what I mean?
I was extremely girl crazy to a point that I even teach my kid, like I teach my son nowhe's five, but I'm still on him.

(36:16):
I'm like, look, man, the girls will be there.
Like, let's, if it's something you want to do, it's something you focused on, let's befocused on it.
Like let's put our energy into that.
Cause I think I started a little later than what I wish I would have in a lot of things.
because everything was driven from the girls.

(36:36):
Even the singing thing, was singing, because when I hit these notes, these girls get totripping.
let me, you know, this where it's at.
So even though I wasn't necessarily in a sport, I was cool with everybody because theyknew it was around me.
The girls would come around because I was trying to sing to all of them.

(36:57):
And I was always about making all my boys look good too.
Like, yeah, we all sing, but I do.
to sing it so you know what I mean.
Would you write songs or were you singing songs that were already out when you were doingthis to impress the girls?
Yeah, when I was doing it to Impressive Girls, so I'm gonna tell you how boozy I was.

(37:20):
I was singing other people's songs, but I was claiming that they were songs I wrote.
Don't get away with that.
Well, you got to think, you know, I was like, from day one, like my brothers, my cousins,they were super R &B fanatics.
So they were putting me on to like real R &B.

(37:44):
They were putting me on to things that weren't just necessarily like um in the forefront.
if you had to be like, even today, like you said, it's kind of hard to find music.
Like you got to really search for music, you know.
Back then, there was no internet.
I mean, there was no Apple music, or there was no, even at that time, iTunes.

(38:07):
There was none of these things.
So it's like, you had to really have these CDs.
I had some girls at this age weren't listening to.
So I'm singing records that ain't on the radio.
I'm singing records that are on my brothers and them play, you know what mean, radio.
And I'm like, I learned this song, so I'm coming up, and I'm singing the words.

(38:29):
You wrote that?
Like, yeah, you know me like.
Lion?
uh
you probably sing a song?
Like for sure, you know, so I was being kind, I was definitely boozy early on with that.
But it's funny because my pop is the one that busted me out.
Like he was like, he was like, you know, you, keep talking about, keep singing all theseother people's songs.

(38:53):
He's like, when you gonna sing your own songs?
Like when you gonna write something?
I mean, he's like, cause you can lie to these girls all you want, but you really justlying to yourself.
You ain't grown.
Oh, okay.
So I got on the piano and I started writing my own songs and I started creating.
And of course it started off real weak, but it got better and better.

(39:14):
And here we are today.
Yeah, now who taught you about love growing up and how to treat women?
Oh man, my grandmother, my grandmother, so man, is the woman who put love in me.

(39:38):
She is the woman that I could do no wrong.
I could do no wrong in this woman's eyes.
She had a scripture, everything I did wrong and right.
And I watched her.
in her life be disregarded by almost everybody in her life that mattered, that should havemattered.

(40:03):
And for her to still be the woman she was, the light she was, always smiling, alwayshappy, always uplifting, know, never judging.
um You know, she was the woman that I looked at to say that's how, the way I wanted her tobe treated.

(40:24):
That's wife.
I think so highly of marriage and I think so highly of the way a man should love on awoman because that's what I wanted for her.
I wanted to see that for her.
know I mean?

(40:45):
She never had to necessarily tell me how to love on a woman.
I just watched.
the way she loved on me, she loved on her grandkids, she loved on her children, she lovedon the people around her, you know, who was always just leading with that.
So with that, that's what taught me the love part of it.

(41:05):
You know, I had I have older sisters, three older sisters.
So watching them fall in and out of love, you know, break hearts, get their heartbroken,you know, that kind of gave me a little bit more in depth thing.
You know, they would always
go through these things with their boyfriends and then come downstairs and I was the teddybear that they could hug on and talk about it too, you know what mean?

(41:29):
Until like, hey, when you get you a girl, you just make sure that you know, make sure you
You know and stuff and then my older brothers were like taking me on their extravaganzaand stuff, you know I'm watching how they doing and things, you know what I mean?
Probably seeing a couple things I shouldn't have saw but you know, of course as the youngbrother but You know all of those things I put together and I was very for some reason I

(41:59):
was just also very Infatuated with you know love and and couples and things like that
Like I always love to see people together.
um I wasn't so much fascinated in the dudes that had millions of girls and all of that.
I was watching the people that would, every time I see them, they with the same person.

(42:24):
You are a lover boy.
I was early on.
OK.
I'm PDA, I'm, you know what I'm saying?
I'm Mr.
Affectionate and stuff, you know?
So, you know, I was always like really into it, you know?
I appreciated like that vibe of people coming together and, you know, just vibing witheach other.

(42:45):
So when I got the chance to, man, you know, it took me many, many tries to get to that,but you know, um I always was.
I always was into the thought of marriage and taking it serious.
I didn't jump into marriage because I wanted to respect it.

(43:09):
I think that, again, looking at my grandmother's situation and watching her, I wanted tomake sure that when I was with my person that um they felt safe, they felt loved, they
felt heard, they felt seen.
um
they felt that they were up on that pedestal that they deserve to be on.

(43:31):
So, yeah.
Now, speaking of finding that person, I am dying to hear the story of how you met yourwife and how you went from maybe this will never be a thing to this is my wife.
Because I read somewhere, did you say that y'all weren't really feeling each other orwhat's the story there?

(43:53):
What happened in the beginning?
I was with somebody else at the time.
And you know, the typical man.
I was with some
saw somebody new and fresh.
Yeah, you know, I did this show.
I did this show at Yoshi's out here.
And one of my homegirls had brought like three or four her partners with her.

(44:18):
And I seen the other three, but I had never seen, you know, this one.
And I'm walking up, you know, and
you know, I just got through performing all this.
I'm shaking everybody's hand.
I'm shaking all of her homegirls hands.
But when I got to her, was like, oh, well, you know, I give hugs.
So let's bring it in.

(44:39):
you know, I gave her a hug.
And, you know, and it's crazy because she was fresh off of work.
So everybody else was super dressed up and she was in like slacks and a polo.
Like she was just coming back from work.
So she wasn't even, you know, and I remember just kind of like,
doing these little flirtatious, saying these flirtatious things to her, you but she wasn'treally paying me no mind or nothing like that.

(45:05):
So my home girl calls me up maybe like a week later and she's like, leaves me a voicemail.
She's like, you know, I need you to sing to my home girl.
She wanna hear you sing to her, something.
So I'm like, let me tap in.
So I call, you know, get her number and all of that.
And, you know, we talked for a little bit.
Now, I missed, now mind you, I am with somebody.

(45:27):
But in between time, I'm on the phone with her.
And so I took her on this date.
said, we gonna hook up.
We gonna link up.
And she flaked on me the first.
flaked on me.
So I was like, okay, it's cool.

(45:49):
But she surprised me at this second show I had.
And the crazy part was she came
and my girl I was with at the time was there too.
walked in, I'm like, shit, so I sat her on the other side of the room.
So I separated them and everything.
I was on some real life, how to be a player, know, moving through the party.

(46:12):
I'm talking to her a little bit, going over here, talking to, you know, doing this.
So at the end of the night, after I'm done, all of these people are pulling at me.
All of these girls are trying to get at me.
And she walks up to me and she's like, um
All right, I'm finna dip, I'm out.
You know, have fun.
I'm like, you mean?
I'm like, you know, you ain't gonna stay for a minute?

(46:33):
She's like, nah, I'm outta here.
You know, enjoy yourself.
I'm like, all right, man, I'm gonna call you when I leave here.
So I end up convincing my girl at the time to go home and whatever.
And I was like, man, let me go pull up on her real quick and just kinda see what's up, youknow?
And...
pulled up on her and we got to talking and she was like, you know, my bad for flaking onyou.

(46:56):
was like, look, you know, let's go to the movies or something.
So I'm like, all right, cool.
Next day we go to the movies.
We hanging out.
I'm just like, I'm not really feeling her like that.
Like, yeah, I'm like,
you're out cheating for no reason is how you feel it at the time like and I sent my girlhome now I'm out with this other girl.

(47:19):
I don't even want to be do you ladies do you all see how they do sometimes this storyworked out.
Yeah, you like this isn't really a vibe.
Okay.
vibe.
And I think she was thinking the same way.
know, she was kind of you know what I mean?
Because we were talking, we were being honest with each other.
She was just like, I don't know.
You know, I don't really know.

(47:40):
I think you're interesting, but you know, whatever.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, you too.
know?
And it was a moment where we were walking outside and it was a big crowd.
a heavy crowd.
And she was in front of me and she was like trying to walk through the crowd, but she'slike,
letting hella people pass and all this.
And I'm like, hey man, come on.

(48:00):
I grabbed her waist.
I grabbed her by her waist and I started leading her through the crowd.
But when I grabbed her waist, it was like this jolt that just went through me.
It like.
Like a movie.
Wait a minute.
Oh, okay.

(48:21):
Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Could be something.
And she was like, you know, well, I got to get ready for work.
She's like, Can I change in the car?
I'm like, is you?
Okay.
So in my mind, I'm thinking, wait a minute, is she is this like a sign?
Is she trying to like, give me a hint?
What's up?
You know?

(48:41):
She's in the car and I'm
fighting myself because I'm like, man, should I try to make a move or should I just belike, you know, I don't want to look like a lame, you know, so I just let it pass or
whatever.
You know, she went to work and after that we started just talking more and theconversation like it was like she was like a homegirl.

(49:01):
wasn't really like we were trying to like mess around like that.
It was really on like, yo, you kind of like my dog.
talk to you about anything, whatever, you know.
She even busted me, busted me out.
She was like, I know this ain't your sister car.
You know, know this.
Did she know it was somebody else or did you keep that under wraps?

(49:24):
Was it an Altima by chance?
You know they say the men love to borrow a girl's Altima.
It was Impala.
wasn't an Altimo.
It was an Impala.
And she was, and the crazy part is the Keys had a picture of her and her girls on it, likemy sister and her partners, you know?

(49:48):
And she was like, I'm not your sister.
That's not your sister and this ain't your sister car.
Right.
So, you know, but she kept her, she kept her buck with me.
She was like, look, you know, I'm low key seeing somebody, you know, and, you know, I'mnot quite over.
I'm not quite over my, you know, my ex right now.
So I'm just kind of figuring things out, you know?

(50:09):
So I'm like, okay, cool.
To me, what I heard was challenge on.
Like, oh, okay.
Oh, you got to do.
Okay.
Okay.
Let's, let's go ahead and let's go.
Let's see who.
So now you're intrigued because she's not really available.
Exactly.
And uh long story short, we, you know, again, we just kept hanging out.

(50:33):
uh My girl had definitely found out about her and it was a lot of, yeah, it was a lot oflike, it was a lot of issues at that point.
uh But at this point, I think that we had got so connected.
Like I remember her just texting me just like, know what, I'm gonna be honest.
I just know that.

(50:53):
we not gonna be together and it's gonna piss me off.
Like, I really wanna be with you and, you know, I am saying thing, you know?
So I put her through it.
I put both of them through it for a good, two years, back and forth.
Yeah, back and forth.
um You know, uh yeah, like I said, I have my daughter.

(51:19):
And I was just like, man, you know, I got to make this work.
got to I got to stick it out here as much as I want to be with with her, because we had amoment where we got together, you know, and it was it was great.
Like, I mean, it was it was a total new thing.
And it was just like, it was awesome.
But I just was feeling like, you know, um I wasn't giving to my daughter and.

(51:43):
I felt like I was caught at this crossroad where I'm like, am I supposed to be doing whatmakes me happy or am I supposed to be sacrificing my happiness because I have a daughter
and I have it's child now and they need what they need.
I had to break up with her and I told her, I gotta do this.
can't, I'm not gonna be able to, broke her heart.

(52:05):
She was messed up for a good eight or nine months.
Did you write her a song to record?
did, I did, I did a lot.
I did a lot of music around her and I went back and I was, was, you know, trying to do thefamily thing and it just, you some people, you know, you just not meant, you know, people

(52:28):
aren't meant to be together.
I grew to a point where I was just like, you know what?
This is actually less beneficial from my daughter for her to see her father here unhappydoing what?
I never wanted to see my grandmother in, you know, and now that like I'm, living the waymy grandmother was, you know, I'm being that type of man to this woman right now.

(52:55):
And I'm like, that's unfair.
And my daughter's going to see that and I don't want her to.
So I made a heavy decision to leave.
And uh it probably had a lot to do also with the fact that I seen that she had got a newboyfriend and
Well, that'll help move things along.
I was like, wait, monkey rich time.

(53:17):
You know, I called her and I was like, you know, it's been a minute.
I just want to talk to you.
Just, you know, just get some things off my chest.
And I met up with her.
We talked.
The sparks were still flying.
It was still there.
told her, look, you belong to me.
I belong to you.
I'm like, I'm figuring all my stuff out and I need you to just rock with me.

(53:40):
I'm like, pretty much let this dude go.
get him out the picture, get rid of him and um I'm gonna handle the rest.
And we did it.
And a lot of people were unhappy about it.
A lot of things weren't, um were against us, you know, but we got through it and we, youknow, we went through so much just to be together, you know.

(54:03):
And I always told myself, I'm not doing all of this just for some quick thrill.
Like this is somebody I genuinely, every time I'm around her, I feel a certain way.
Yeah, and how long have y'all been together now?
We've been together for 15 years.
Woo!
Long time.
Yeah, married for seven.

(54:23):
Well, congratulations.
Now I have to ask with so many daughters, if your daughter, any of them, came to you andtold you that they were in a similar situation, what would you advise them to do?
Um, you know, I'm, I'm really one of those dads.
I'm, a lot of guys don't agree with me on the way I father because I'm not like the dadthat's like, you can't have no boyfriends.

(54:51):
Don't let me see.
It's my princess right here.
It's like, yeah, this is my princess, but this is a woman.
This is a, this is a young, gonna be a woman in this world.
You know, all the things that I did with women are gonna do with someone.
You know I'm saying?
Like that's the inevitable.
And I would rather be involved in all of their scenarios rather than them try to sneakaround because they're afraid to tell me.

(55:18):
Right.
Be honest with me about what it is.
My oldest daughter, you know, she's had a couple of relationships at this point, you know,and I talked to her like a home, like a homie.
You know, I'm about gaming my daughters like.
Look, I'm tell you how it goes off of like the real like what your dad did to, you knowwhat I mean?

(55:41):
This is how these things go.
This is how this go.
And it's really about you being, you gotta be player about your questions.
Make decisions for yourself.
Don't be led into, you know, X, Y, and Z.
But if they come to me and they're telling me about something that's happened to them, Igotta let them know like, well, look, you know, this is all about how you want to react
off this.

(56:03):
Men, boys are gonna be boys, especially at this young age.
You know I mean?
Like I can't try to give you advice as I would if you were older and with the man that youplanning on marrying right now, you're 16 years old.
go back to tomorrow.
Say, what's up?

(56:23):
And keep it popping.
What you need are friends.
I said, your best bet, have a bunch of friends.
I said, so that way,
You not moving around and feeling like once you get with this boy, he feel entitled to youand you can't go kick it with this person or had his friend.
It's like, look, we are homies.
You feel me?
If you decide that you feel something with one of them, then it's cool.

(56:49):
Y'all may do a little something every now and then, and know, deals on whatever, but justkeep it, Pete, make sure anytime you're doing something that they're your decisions.
These are things that you want.
to do.
That you're not doing it to appease anybody.
You're not doing it to keep up with anybody.

(57:09):
Do what you feel comes natural to you, but also understand that what you put your focuson, you will get.
If you put your focus on sex, if you put your focus on boys, you will have sex.
You will have boys.
I said, but there's a lot that comes with that too.
There's a lot of things that come out of those things that might

(57:32):
disrupt your journey that might slow down your process.
I'm like, but if you put your focus on school, if you put your focus on your goals andyour accomplishments, you will meet your goals.
You will accomplish your dreams.
And you will have your friends that you've been locked in with to say, you know what,we've been locked in for so long.
I'm willing to try something and see where this goes because we have a certain respect foreach other and history with each other.

(57:57):
So I just, I try to give them some sort of light, but
There's no telling whether they'll follow through with it or not.
if they don't and they get, you know, I'm here to just be like, look, this is whathappens, baby.
And it's cool.
Like, what we doing now?
What's our next move now?
Yeah, I think it's good that you're telling them.
I definitely wish that my dad would have told me more because he was doing a lot of thingsand it would be nice to hear firsthand, like, don't do this whole I'm going to give you a

(58:26):
little advice.
My dad was my daughter's my princess.
You shouldn't date.
I am 36 years old and my dad still acts like I should not be dating.
And I'm like, I am very grown.
When you were my age.
What's wrong?
Like what is going on?
What you, what?
I don't know.
So I appreciate that you are trying to put your daughters up on game, whether they listenor not is up to them.

(58:51):
Now I'm also curious about something else that I want to make sure we talked about beforewe get out of here.
You were with your wife while you were pursuing music as an adult.
This is post high school and all of that.
And now you're getting traction in your career.
Did...
anybody, whether it was management or record label mentors, that they tried to tell you,keep that relationship secret.

(59:16):
Yeah, absolutely.
For sure.
do they do that?
Do you think it's true that R &B singers, men, need to be like a piercing?
So what my whole thing was in that situation, it was always, man, look what happened toUsher.

(59:39):
Look what happened to Usher when he did.
mean, was the big, that was the big deal.
And when I got my deal, again, my wife, she moved out to Atlanta with me.
We got an apartment because of her.
Because again, I was living in the booth, me and my partner, my homegirl, we were livingin the booth and living at the studio.

(01:00:03):
And she came out there and was like, hey, hell no.
Absolutely not.
need a home.
this two-bedroom apartment and we bought it.
And at that time, she rent was like $700 for a two-bedroom apartment there.
Listen, listen, this was, this was 2013, 2014.

(01:00:26):
And we were out there, two-bedroom apartment for $700 a month.
and I remember, you know, I would have her invite her to everything, try to, you know,
My management at the time, labels, like my manager was real big on like, look, man, look,just wait a minute.

(01:00:47):
Just, you know, eventually you could do the Essence covers and you know, y'all could doall that Jet Magazine later, but just right now, you know, we gotta just, you know, keep
it quiet, keep it cool.
And I'm like, this sounds crazy.
And then my label was even worse.
It was like, I remember being at

(01:01:09):
you know, dinner and they would be talking, these are the head of the labels and they'd betalking to me like, so my gosh, your girlfriend, how old is she?
And da da da da da.
And how long you guys been together?
I'm like, you know, we've been together for like, you know, seven years, eight years, youknow?
And they're like, my God, that is so beautiful.
Do you know who we should hook him up with?
We should hook him up with that new girl that's over there that just signed uh on IslandDef Jam.

(01:01:34):
What's her name?
I'm like, wait a minute, were we not?
What?
Are we not just talking about like, hold on, like, wait a minute.
And it did draw wedge.
I'm not gonna lie.
I became, I fell into it a little bit.
I fell into it a little bit because when you're surrounded by everybody that's saying thesame thing and it's like, you start to feel like, I'm not gonna make it where I need to

(01:02:01):
get if I'm, you know.
Maybe I'm holding myself back by not listening.
They might know something
I know something I don't know.
And so, you know, a lot of times it would be like, I'm going to this meeting, you can'tcome.
But the meeting is really like, you get there and it's just a bunch of women around and,you know, A &Rs just want to see how you acting around the girls and, you know, the party

(01:02:25):
scene and all of that, you know?
And I fell into it a little bit.
You know, I definitely, we had an incident.
It went further than it needed to with that, where it was just like, you know, we broke upfor a minute and I was...
thinking I was doing something right and I started to look into it like, know what?
This is all bad.

(01:02:47):
Like I'm sitting here.
have to move back into the booth?
No, no, I didn't have to move.
But what happened was she moved back home.
She moved back home.
And what's crazy is at this time, she was actually she was pregnant with my with myyoungest daughter.
So
and you have the nerve to be stressing her out.

(01:03:07):
Ooh.
I did.
did.
I think that's why my daughter looks so much like me right now.
I just about to say it, that's why y'all are twins.

(01:03:43):
you're going to allow her to move on and somebody's going to treat her like you shouldhave, you know?
And I thought about it for a long time.
And, you know, we sat down, we talked about it and I was like, you know what?
This is time for me to go out and get this ring.
I'm ready to give it all to her.
Like I'm ready to like really go because no matter what this industry is not going tofulfill me.

(01:04:06):
It's not going to give me anything.
It's not going to give me anything that is meaningful.
Rocking with me since I had nothing.
She'd been rocking with me since it was all a dream, you know?
So it took some time.
So I still see it today where the industry tries to say R &B men can't have wives andcan't have, and it's, don't believe it.

(01:04:29):
I feel like it's really about, you know, how you separate the two.
You know, for me today, now we're in a space where there is no more thought.
There is no more issue.
You know, when I'm at places,
she's at the parties or she's at the shows, she's sending them over there.
Go over there and get your picture with him.
You know what mean?
She'll bring them to me like, babe, just a huge fan.

(01:04:51):
She is so in love with you.
She wants the picture.
She wants to do know, do the, she tell me, do the special.
I'm like, God, you know what I'm saying?
do that.
She gets it because that trust has been built back though to where she knows that aresponsible job now.
I'm not trying to, you know,

(01:05:12):
I'm not trying to utilize what I'm doing or the space I'm in to, you know, get any gainout of anybody.
It's like, look, this is how we gonna make our living off of what I do.
Like, so with that, I'm gonna be responsible about it.
Yes, I'm gonna be around women.
I'm not a nerd.
Like, I'm the dude that still calls every girl boo, babe, sweetheart, love, all of that.

(01:05:35):
You know, in front of my wife.
I'm like, how you doing boo?
Da da.
But again, she understands that
You know, now I'm taking this serious, you know, that this is just me as an artist.
This is me as a man who I am, you know, but I respect the boundary.
you know, this is, she's my teammate.
She's my best friend.
You know, this is my, this is the person that got me when no one else, COVID happened andno one gave, you know, a damn about anything I was doing or what was going on.

(01:06:07):
Like, this is who's with you.
This is who's still right.
So COVID told me if the world shuts down tomorrow, this is who you have.
don't have all of these groupies, whatever you call it, you have her.
And I need to teach my children, again, I want them to see what I wanted to see with mygrandmother.

(01:06:30):
So with that, there's a switch that I turn on when I go into these shows, when I go intothese spaces as Adrienne Marshall, and there's a switch that
turned off when I leave.
You know what mean?
So there's two.
But how do you show up for your wife and your kids and still balance making time for themwhile doing everything that you have to do for your career?

(01:06:53):
Because I imagine that late nights, early mornings, long days sometimes, it can besporadic.
I look at it like two separate jobs that I love.
I love my family job.
I love my career.
I can be at the studio for 12 hours from eight at night to eight in the morning, puttingall my energy into this record and into this project or into whatever it is.

(01:07:20):
I can be out all night at this show doing what I have to do to bring the bread home,whatever.
And when I get home at eight o'clock, instead of me trying to get sleep and throw it allon her, it's like, nah, I'm up.
I'm getting the kids dressed for school.
I'm doing my daughter's hair or doing my son's hair.

(01:07:41):
You know, when I'm not working, I'm not trying to find anything to busy myself.
I'm here.
Look, she's in the nursing.
You know, she's in her nursing program right now.
She's doing what makes her happy and pushing for her dream.
So.
With that, that takes her doing her job and then going straight from work to school.
You know, so that means I'm the one that got to sit here and I'm cooking, I'm cookingdinner for these kids.

(01:08:05):
I'm making sure she's plating the microwave when she gets home, you know, the same waythat she would if it was me on the other hand, you know, um, making sure that, you know,
there's just a balance.
There's, know, I can work, work, work, work, work, but at this point in time, I have ateam around me now that understands look,

(01:08:25):
I'ma have these dates for y'all that are untouchable, you know, no matter what it is.
There's some money on the line.
And if it's worth it, my wife will look at me and be like, hey, go get the money and wecan always go.
Yeah.
m
But if it's something that we know that we need for us, then it's understood.

(01:08:47):
Like, hey, it's good.
If they really want me, they'll be here when I get back too.
It's just a duty to make sure that there is just a separation between the two, there's abalance, that they both get equal amount of love.
Because she understands that music is my love.
That's what I love to do, entertainment.

(01:09:09):
I wouldn't be who I am.
I wouldn't be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else, just to appeaseher.
So there's a balance that took a lot of time to get there.
It took a lot of heartbreak.
It took a lot of up and down to get here to where we are now.

(01:09:29):
But there's an understanding now between us that she's not insecure.
She's like,
Let these girls throw their panties, bras, and houses at you if they want to, okay?
Make sure you bring it home.
Like, make sure you bring it home.
You know, if I tell her I'm not gonna be home till four or five in the morning, she knowI'm not out doing nothing crazy.

(01:09:52):
She know if I'm out till four or five in the morning, it's because it's some work.
It's not because I don't have the capacity mentally these days to sit up here andentertain nobody who ain't lived their life.
showing me that they got me like she got me.
in the streets is gone now.
It's not really a thing.

(01:10:13):
We see beautiful people all the time.
I tell her, you a damn lie if you tell me you walk around every day and don't see nobodythat look better than me.
Cut it out.
Cut it out.
Stop it.
There are far more beautiful women than there are beautiful men.
I can't say nothing about that.

(01:10:35):
don't know.
oh
okay But I know I got total I said I see all I always see attractive women I walked downin that I'm like that
You know what mean?
That's how we are now.

(01:10:57):
for me, it's not about the temptation being gone.
You always have that temptation.
You always have that thing of being like, God damn, she is bad.
I'm still from East Oakland.
still, you know what I'm saying?
I'm still whatever.
But it's just thinking deeper past that.
It's so much deeper than just, damn, she bad.

(01:11:19):
It's like, cool, I see it.
It's all good.
But sweetheart.
I don't have the capacity to sit here and do this thing with you.
Like that's too much.
My phone is going to stay faced up, faced up all the time.
Like I can't be waking up worried about, you know what I'm saying?
Messages and you know, once you do that with people, things get messy.

(01:11:40):
It gets crazy.
for me, it's more about, it's too much on the line.
It's too much on.
And if you're not willing to take in all four of my kids,
and do that job and you know what saying?
I tell girls all the time, like, you ain't gonna like me past this, trust me.

(01:12:01):
I'm hard to deal with.
I come with a lot.
know, again, the temptation is never gone.
It's always there, but it's just about how you react to it.
Would you say that that comes with maturity and really coming into real manhood and notjust you're technically an adult so you feel like you a man?

(01:12:25):
for sure.
You know how many little boy, old men there are out there in the world?
Yeah, I'm sure.
All the time.
I live in Atlanta.
They're here.
They conventions every weekend.
Yeah, you go.
So you already know it's definitely a level of maturity that had that you have to hear.
I tell you all the time, like you have to want to be married.

(01:12:48):
You have to want one.
It's not about, you know, you get to a certain age and you're supposed to be married.
It's like, no, like, make sure that you want to be married.
Make sure that you're marrying somebody that you really not only love, but you really likethem.
Like, I like my wife.
Like, I don't I don't be trying to avoid.
time with her like I'm with my boys right now.

(01:13:09):
I can't do nothing with my boys that I can do with her.
We could go from kicking it like homies and go into some whole other, you know what I'msaying?
Freakily.
whole other vibe, yeah.
oh
can't do that with the homies like we all incorporated.

(01:13:29):
It's like you really have to be at a certain level where you your goals, you know, yourpriorities are really in line and more important than anything else.
It's I can't really tell you what that switch really was that happened, but it was justlike yo, man.

(01:13:52):
I'm really not trying to be out here making life more difficult than what it needs to be.
You were probably having a really stressful day and was just like, man, F this.
Like, what am I doing?
I got a headache.
I'm so sick of having to wake up earlier than her so that this, so just in case thismessage I missed don't get seen or you know, do you or she forget something you didn't

(01:14:19):
delete or you deleted it but it's still in your trash and you forgot to delete it out thetrash.
I mean, it's just, and then on top that too, God is funny.
He is a jokester.
So you make one thing and think you got away with it, but next thing you know, you walkinto this party or you walk into this random restaurant or this random cafe and there she

(01:14:43):
goes right there looking at you, goofy as hell while you with your wife or your girl andyou like.
I hope she don't come over here.
Yeah.
And now oh you got the bubble guts for no reason because you just stress.

(01:15:04):
I uh was so sick of that.
It's all good.
Like, we don't do that in college no more.
I understand.
ah Lastly, I want to ask you, what would you say is some things that you love the mostabout being married?

(01:15:24):
Or just about your wife.
Either way, you wanna f-
I think it is an awesome feeling knowing that somebody got you You know what I mean?
Like that you know that you're not anything by yourself.

(01:15:47):
I look at me and my stressful times.
mean, even now, I just lost my grandmother and it's
sorry to hear that.
I appreciate that.
This is like the first couple of days that I've been able to you know.
have a normal day, you know, her passing.

(01:16:11):
And I think back to in those times, those last days with my grandmother, you know, her notbeing able to move and needing to be changed, to be watched.
And I'm up there with my mother and watching my wife show up and say, hey, I know thatthis is hard for you to do.

(01:16:31):
This is not something that you're good at.
So, wow.
Let me and your mom take care of this.
I'll wash her.
I'll do that.
what?
You know, like having somebody willing to become a caretaker for your person, for yourgrandmother, you know, just because she understands how important this is and how, like,

(01:17:02):
how strongly you feel right now and what you need.
put all of your stuff aside for me in this moment.
Like when I watched her do that, it was like falling in love all over again.
It was just like, yo, this is what it's about.
You can have 30 women on your roster and how many of them is going to pull up and wipeyour grandmother's ass for you.

(01:17:29):
Like something else.
That is something else.
Again, having somebody that got your back like you got theirs, like somebody that'srocking with you, that's going through the mud with you, I think that that companionship
and that's unmatched.

(01:17:49):
Like it's something that's special.
um And that's the things that I appreciate about her is that she is my rider, man.
know, we gonna fight.
cuss each other out.
She gonna tell me about myself all the time, but when it all comes down to it, man, shedon't play about her.

(01:18:17):
She gonna rock with me.
gonna, you know, going from fighting to still cooking for you or still, you know, likethey do the memes, like when you mad, but you still like, you know, you want your keys on
your spaghetti.
Like, yep.
You want me to make you a drink?

(01:18:37):
You know, exactly.
Make your plate like those type of things right there.
Like somebody still doing that for you, like making your plate.
Go ahead.
I got your plate in the oven.
I'll put it up because I know everybody going, you know, somebody who know you.
You know what mean?
I got you the one that ain't got no this in it because I know you don't eat this.

(01:18:59):
did.
That matters.
That's special.
That's special, So, yeah, I think that's.
one of the many things that I love about.
Especially if you don't like tomatoes on stuff because you ever had some tomatoessprinkled on something and it leave that little tomato.
I can't stand that.
It is like the tomatoes are gone but it still has that weird taste.

(01:19:21):
Yuck.
So yes, I get it.
People put your special plate to the side.
You don't want to picked over pieces.
oh Okay, so that brings me to the to the next thing.
uh Hot takes.
to your hot take on how people say that men love crazy women.

(01:19:44):
Do you think that that's true?
Explain and why?
do y'all like crazy women and what kind of crazy is it?
This kind of crazy where we're fighting but I'm still save your plate?
Yeah, I mean all that.
mean, it goes a little past that too.
But I think what it is, it's that, you know, that emotion again, when you see somebody isgoing through these motions and these emotions over you, it's almost like uh it's an ego

(01:20:09):
booster.
know, that's kind of, know, that's, that's the toxicness in it is that it's boostingour...
egos, you know, yeah, those are so hungry.
Yeah
It's bottomless, you know what mean?
It's bottomless.
To see you tripping out like, am outside in the rain, you need to come out here and talkto me, because I will bust this car up and I will just like, you really like me, huh?

(01:20:38):
uh
That is what's wrong with the men.
Maybe we should stop turning down our crazy ladies and just let it fly.
Just let it fly.
They like it, apparently.
But just make sure you're doing it right one.
You got to get.
You were like, now hold up.
We don't need all the women acting crazy.

(01:20:59):
Don't be crazy for the lambs.
That's starting a whole nother issue in the world.
Don't do that.
Okay, and then a quick little advice that I would like for you to give anybody who'slistening.
What advice would you give to someone who is pursuing a career in music and they aregaining some traction, but they are already in a committed relationship and they really

(01:21:26):
wanna keep it?
What would you tell them they should do in that situation when everybody else is like, no,you need to be single and you need be outside?
Well, number one, stay loyal to your soil.
Number two, pay attention to the people that are around you saying this.
Look at their marriages or whether they're married or not.
Look at their relationships.
You know, a lot of the people that were telling me to do these foul things did not havesolid relationships and not have solid marriages.

(01:21:52):
Misery needs company.
You know, it's a, to me, feel like, again, like I said, being loyal to your soil,understanding that if you have somebody that was there
or all of the traction that was there when it was slow motion, then you got somebody thatyou can grow old with.
You got somebody that's gonna rock with you, whether you got it or not.

(01:22:14):
Look, these women out here, they beautiful.
They got everything you want.
They got the butts, the guts, they got it all, man.
It's right there.
The problem is they want the next one who got the most money.
They want the next come up.
They want the next this.
You I'm not saying all of them are like that.
but it's it's so like, man, hit or miss that it's not worth it.

(01:22:39):
If you got somebody that's rocking with you, that's there, that's holding you down, man,like let that traction build both y'all up.
Like you and yours, man, go buy you some, go get her something too.
Like put her up on game too.
You know I mean?
And next thing you know, you're going to look up and you got one that's dressing just likethe best of them.

(01:23:00):
That's.
Moving like the best of them and you actually know you can trust.
know, Chris Brown told us a long time ago, Not loyal.
So, you know, I mean, you gotta really be weary.
Like somebody told me, you know, don't leave the one that you love for the one you likebecause the one you like don't leave you for the one she loved.

(01:23:25):
And we'll, so again, I'm.
You know, just be clear on what you have, if it's worth it.
Again, pay attention to the people around you.
Most of the people who are giving you that type of advice, you know, they cheating ontheir wife, they out here moving weird and moving crazy, or don't have a wife that love

(01:23:47):
them or rock with them like that, or don't have a wife or girl at all, period.
But you know, that's not your book.
If you got somebody rocking with you, keep them.
Hold on to them.
and put them up just like you yourself up.
Every time you win, spend on you and her.
Give her some energy that it'll be better for you in the long run.

(01:24:10):
Cause you're gonna be, you're gonna look up and you lose them and they gonna be, theygonna be, they gonna be evolved into something crazy.
And you like, damn, what did I do?
You know, y'all girls.
you hate me from outside the club.
Y'all women way of going through hurt, being left like that, going through hurt and thengoing through this cocoon phase and just transforming into like, yo, what hat?

(01:24:41):
Like, wait a minute.
You never used to do your hair like that.
Now all of a sudden you got it like that.
You wearing the tight dresses.
You know what I think more women should just accept a little heartbreak every now andagain and look at it and say, you know what, while I'm not going back to this person, let

(01:25:02):
me look at the lesson instead of repeating the same thing.
Once you learn for real, the glow up happens.
You gonna feel good, look good.
be good and you won't worry about that person anymore.
It's easier to say when you're on the other side of it, but it's so true and that's whypeople keep saying it.
And the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

(01:25:24):
That's what y'all did.
Both of y'all, you and your wife.
Yeah.
Thank that's the hello.
Stay loyal to you.
So you'll stay with them because trust me, know, years as the years go by, we all continueto evolve and get sexier and get, you know what I mean?
More confident.
Look, and man, you know what I mean?

(01:25:46):
I would I would have hated to look at my wife, you know, today and be like, damn, man, Ididn't even have her when she was her.
best yet.
I thought I did.
I've up with it so, you know.
Yeah.
Okay.
And then before we go, I want to know, what would you say is your favorite part or maybethe best part about being a black man today?

(01:26:16):
Man, my favorite part about being a black man, you know, I'd have to say is being able tolook at our history, being able to, um you know, what we've endured, you know, uh what our
culture has, has went through and where we are now, knowing that we are behind so muchgreatness, man, like

(01:26:44):
We are the reason for the evolution of this planet.
Like in everything that we think about when we think about, it doesn't matter what youwant, electricity, you wanna think about technology, you wanna think about space, you
wanna think about uh construction, you wanna think about, it doesn't matter, whatever itis, we have a hold in it.

(01:27:08):
Like we are a part of it to know that
My history is enriched with that.
Like I have uh a place in one of the most influential cultures that there is to be.
I think that that's something.
It's not even anything individually about me.
It's just the history, things that have nothing to do with my individual person, buteverything to do with my individual culture.

(01:27:38):
I appreciate what we have done as a people.
You know, I look at, I even look at our flaws.
I look at, you know, things that we need to work on and just being able to know that ifwe, if we ever just decided to really just put an emphasis on it, that we could, we could

(01:28:01):
fix that.
We could heal that with nothing and no time.
Like, you know, I love being, I love being a black man.
I love being a black man.
I love being a black man with a black woman.
um I um love what, again, just what we represent.
You know what mean?
think media, a lot of people try to make it seem like there is these negative things aboutus and our relationships with our black women.

(01:28:30):
um But it's lies.
It's all false.
It's all the narrative to make it look bad.
But black men love black women.
Black women love black men.
man.
um
That's we are trying to take the time to have these conversations with black men so we canget a little bit more understanding instead of saying what we think we know about you.

(01:28:51):
Let's hear your stories and let you tell it and hear how you feel ah because we love y'alland you're right.
There is a lot online that says otherwise.
And even if there are people who do feel that way, that doesn't mean everybody does.
That's not the bulk of us.

(01:29:12):
Well, thank you so much for taking the time to speak to us today and share with us so muchabout music, fatherhood, chasing your dreams, being in love, going back and getting that
woman that you missed real bad and marrying her.
ah We love to see it.
Let everyone know how they can keep up with you and where they can listen to your music.

(01:29:34):
Cause y'all got to go listen.
You know, you can also follow me on IG, Adrian Marstel.
You know, go to Apple Music, Spotify, Amazon Music, wherever it is that you stream ordownload or buy music.
You can find me there.
My latest project, R &B Season, is out right now.
So if you really want to get a glimpse of what that R &B sound sounds like, go check itout real quick.

(01:29:59):
Go listen to that and then tell me what you think about it.
Yeah.
Yes, and we will have everything linked in the description box for you guys to make iteasy for you to check him out.
Adrian, thank you so much once again.
And we look forward to hearing more and more music for you for years to come.
Thank you.
And until next time, you guys, goodbye.

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