The Woody Show September 2nd 2024 Podcast

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Sleep's a dune to the graphic nature of this program.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Listener discretion is advise the Woody Show Alive. This is
the Woody Show.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Insensitivity Training.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Class is now in session.

Speaker 1 (00:43):
Hey, good morning everybody.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
It is Monday. It is September, the second new month,
September second, twenty twenty four. Already we are the Woody Show.
Thank you being here. Give us some of your valuable
time this morning. I'm that's Greg Gory, we got Menace,
what up? There's Sea Bass, There's Sammy, There's Bort, Caroline
Morgan Vaughn. And as you know, we are out this week,

(01:09):
and thanks to all of your requests and suggestions, we've
pulled some audio from the last ten years out of
the Woody Show vault. These are the moments that you
said you heard as a new listener and decided that, hey,
this is the show for me. You know, lots of
people have worked for the show over the years. You're
gonna hear them in these segments. Lots of what you're
gonna hear hasn't even aired in years.

Speaker 1 (01:32):
But when this.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
Vacation is over, all of these clips, all these segments,
they're gonna be retired forever, never to be heard on
the air again. Wow. So we'd still like to hear
what your thoughts are on anything you hear this morning
on the show. If there's an opinion or a story
you would like to add. There are a lot of
ways to do that. Best ways the after hours voicemail
anytime after ten am until five am the next morning,
eight seven seven forty four Wooding. That's eight seven seven

(01:56):
forty four Woody. Of course you can email us email
at the Woody Show. And of course you got social
media as well, find us, follow us on the social
media platform of your choice at the Woody Show. Yep,
coming up for you on the show today, Woody Show
Hot Seats, Oh crap. Who was on the hot seat
this particular time and always pretty intense. Also dil Dar

(02:18):
the Alien. We have not heard from dil Dar, and
but this was dil Dar's debut on The Woody Show
from Alien Con.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, so Dildar was our representative at Alien Con. We
got some Randy Oki in there, Randy doing some karaoke,
one of Greg's epic backyard stories. There's always a number
of those, so we'll have one of those. And you guys,
remember Christina, she was one of our producers, board Ops,
and she was going on about how she lived in
Croatia and then her definition of living somewhere compared to

(02:54):
ours a little bit different. So it led to a
pretty heated back and forth. Of course, we've got that also,
speaking of explosive, a drunk style voicemail. That started quite
the argument here in the room. So we're gonna have
that for you today, and we'll start with what's in
the box. If you guys are ready for that. What's
in a box? Yeah? Yeah, all right? What's in it?

(03:14):
We have this? It's literally a suggestion box that we
put in the office. I'm the only one that has
the key. Yeah, And if you have something that you
want to bring up on the show, you're supposed to
write it down on a piece of paper and drop
it in the box.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
First of all, box.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
And the first thing that I'm drawing out of here
is this from Greg. All right, something quote happened to
me last night that left me a bit embarrassed, wondering
if you guys would be embarrassed as well if you
were in my shoes.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
So in front of my house, there's a I guess
you'd call it a patty or a porch, and Mario
and I have decided that we want to put like
a couple of outdoor chairs and a table there. Most
people in my neighborhood have the same porch and they
have a bench and it looks really nice, and I thought,
oh cool, So we'll be on the hunt for those
in the coming days, looking for some cool outdoor chairs. Well,
the other night, it's the night before garbage day, and

(04:04):
a lot of people in my neighborhood just throw useless
crap out dressers, you know, old TVs and whatnot. They
just put it on the curb, hoping the garbage men
will take it. Nine times out of ten they don't.
But I happened to walk by this one house and
they had these awesome looking outdoor chairs. Looked brand new
black wicker, but they were plastic, but they looked like wicker,
really really nice. I saw them. I'm like, wow, those

(04:26):
are nice chairs. Maybe we should get chairs like that.
Kept on walking next day, walking the dog again, the
chairs are still out because the garbage men didn't take them.
So I pointed them out to Mario. I'm like, look,
they're throwing away these chairs. They look brand new. You
know what, let's check them out. Maybe they just want
to get new ones, they don't want these. So I
go to look at the chairs and there's two chairs

(04:47):
stacked on each other, right, So I undo them and
I realize, oh, they're throwing this way because they both
have like rips in the wicker like you sat down, and.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
They went, you know, a fat people.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
So while we're looking at them, the front door of
the house opens up.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
The people who live there walk out. So I'm offer
you guys money here.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Don't want a sandwich, I know.

Speaker 3 (05:10):
And of course we're in our dog walking clothes, like
boxer shorts, T shirts, flip flops.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
We look like bombs. I'm looking at these chairs, right, yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
So they walk out and they said uh, and Mario said,
I'm sorry. We were just seeing if you're getting rid
of these chairs. But and I'm stacking them back up.
As I'm stacking them back up in boxer shorts, T shirts,
looking at their let's just call it what it is,
at their garbage, she says, are you are you guys
Greg and Mario from The Woody Show?

Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh my god, Tramai god, it's pretty.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
My heart starts racing. I couldn't run away faster. I said,
we were just looking at the chairs because we want
to get something similar.

Speaker 5 (05:59):
To that in your box literal.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Actually, I was wearing basketball shorts. Mario was wearing boxer.

Speaker 4 (06:05):
Shorts, and uh, are you WEIRDO?

Speaker 2 (06:09):
What's that? Why does Mario do that?

Speaker 6 (06:11):
What do you mean?

Speaker 2 (06:12):
The shorts in the neighborhood. That's fine, that's fine, It's
totally fine, totally fine. If if if you're going to collect,
you know, oh something from your front porch, that's fine.
If you're leaving your property walking the leave your property
and boxing deal, shorts are shorts. Yeah, yeah, but that's

(06:34):
like saying, seeing a woman in a bra, how is
that different than seeing her in a bikini in the neighborhood.

Speaker 7 (06:38):
That's the next question. Is it weird to walk outside
in your box of shorts? O? Yes, we can tag
onto that too.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Okay, So if a woman was just walking around the
neighborhood with just your brad, you'll probably called the five, like, okay,
she's injured or delusional.

Speaker 8 (06:53):
Especially if she was up there garbage grubbing.

Speaker 2 (06:58):
Lady.

Speaker 9 (07:00):
Thing.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
If they know Greg, they know he's cheap, and then
he probably would take you know, furniture that was left
out for the trash.

Speaker 3 (07:05):
Okay, keep with that narrative. I know what amuses you.
That's fine, but okay, fine, I know you guys would
be embarrassed by that.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
You're the one dumpster diving. Yeah, okay, yeah, it was
in a dumb snus. I support it, rewrite history. Are
literally garbage arguing.

Speaker 4 (07:22):
I'm hiring Greg T shirt on, I'm with Mario T shirt.
We should have out here your face.

Speaker 5 (07:29):
So did they just give you the chairs?

Speaker 3 (07:31):
The chairs we were looking at their Okay.

Speaker 1 (07:36):
God, it is totally fine.

Speaker 2 (07:38):
The chairs. The neighbors probably knew better. Because you feed
a straight it just keeps coming back. Yeah, so they
take the next thing. You know, they're going to come
back looking for keys, and they're going to come back
looking for more, like get a.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
Ridere Mario phone treasure.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Wait, so what happened next? You just broken wicker furniture?
You just race off for what? Oh?

Speaker 3 (07:56):
Yeah, definitely. They were getting in their car luckily to leave,
and we basically ran away.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I would never go buy the house ever again. Did
you give them like some kind of excuse? Did you
make something up on the spot?

Speaker 3 (08:07):
I said, we're in the market for chairs, and these
look really nice and we want to get something like this.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
And he said, well like this, not like we want
to take these.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
They were broken and but no, and he said if
you leave chairs like that with a fake wicker in
the sun, they and you sit on them, this is
what happens to them. So now I'm thinking I'll get
a wooden bench or something like that.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Really that would be embarrassing to answer your question, yes, right,
and that circumstances that would right. God, as we're looking
at them, the door walk out and Mario a pair
of shorts.

Speaker 7 (08:39):
Yeah, we have plenty of shorts. Don't let them go outside.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
You can't say that.

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Boxer shorts don't look like shorts.

Speaker 10 (08:49):
Weird.

Speaker 2 (08:49):
Yeah, yeah, nobody's on team Greg here. That's Walmart move.
And you know, I'm surprised that Mario would even do
like Mario can't leave the house unless he takes forever
to get rid of And he looks like a g
Q model. Yeah, they like.

Speaker 6 (09:09):
You.

Speaker 2 (09:09):
They're just they're just checkered. They're like black and white checkers.
They look like are they Burberry?

Speaker 4 (09:17):
Quick question? Does Marrow have a huge wien er? Is
that why he goes outside underwear. Yes, and no, that's
not why you would never know. They're not shorts, all right?

Speaker 2 (09:26):
Bring them all boxer shorts look like shorts. No, they don't.
They they don't give they maybe look like a pair
of shorts of the fly open right, yeah, because you
got the D door on you do.

Speaker 3 (09:38):
Yeah, but I think those particular ones have a snap
on the D door, like a metal.

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Snap's fine, because that's what shorts look like, not underwear.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
When you're walking the dog of the dark, who cares.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Until you get arrested? Neighborhood gets Oh my god, guys
walking around in boxer shorts, that's awesome. Wrap everywhere. Bring
me very quiet anything. We'll be back soon, pret soon.
So the Woody show.

Speaker 11 (10:06):
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Speaker 6 (10:24):
This sis you should fully expect the unexpected, the Woodie Show, Unexpected,
The Woody.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
Show, WOODI Show, quiz Time. One out of every eight
millennials don't know how to do this, and he guesses
what it might be.

Speaker 7 (10:44):
Is it use four one one? Or people don't use
that anymore?

Speaker 2 (10:49):
I actually used it like to like two weeks ago
for something. Yeah it did. It's even still working. Yeah,
it still works. What was called your phone? What was
wrong with Google?

Speaker 7 (11:00):
I wasn't getting the right number online, so I used
four one one, and I asked my girlfriend's brother if
you even knew what four on one was? And you know,
he used the Urban street Jackie Robinson.

Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, what's the four one one? What's four to one? Yeah?
What's up?

Speaker 7 (11:17):
But he didn't know that you can actually call formulae
one and get a phone number or information on business
and stuff like that.

Speaker 2 (11:24):
Can you still call operator? Do they answer operator? Hello?
L fifty five? It must be super busy.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
My guess would be something uh, involving pen and papers,
like write a check?

Speaker 2 (11:38):
Write a check? All right, change a tire. One out
of every one out of every eight millennials doesn't know
how to do this. Rave I'll say, address a letter,
address a.

Speaker 4 (11:46):
Letter, Yeah, something analog like uh, like like some kind
of analog electronics, like reading our clock or something.

Speaker 2 (11:52):
We have people on the text guessing cook an egg, yeah,
baby anything.

Speaker 5 (11:59):
Drive stick baking is really hard.

Speaker 2 (12:01):
Oh I been seven out of eight people don't dry stick,
open a can with a can opener, balance a check book,
read an analog clock. People guessing on the text, and
the answer is this is According to a new survey,
one out of eight people under the age of thirty
five say they don't know how to change a light bulb,

(12:27):
and they ask their parents for help. It's true. Yeah,
once they're done exploiting their parents for the free labor.
Of course, they blame them because twenty percent of the
people said they didn't know how to do it. Say
they don't even know how to do the most basic
home repairs because their parents didn't teach them, never had

(12:48):
them do anything, never had help out with anything. I
had to do that to change the light bulb. They
don't know how to even start the lawnmower. They don't
know how to all the things that we had to
do growing up, like cut the grass, you know, take
the garbage out, Like I make my son help with
certain things. Yeah, that's good. Like dragging the cans out
for garbage day or whatever. You can help me do that, Yeah,

(13:08):
you can help me do that. Yeah. Some of these
kids are just so baby. Yeah, they don't do any
of that. They're never ending. Nothing is asked, change a
white Then.

Speaker 7 (13:16):
They wake up they're forty five years old and they're
still in the house.

Speaker 2 (13:19):
You know, I'm gonna I guess if you've never done it, right, right,
I mean I know, but I mean.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
If your problems solve it, if you've never done it,
I was going to cover on it.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
There's like a screw. Sometimes light fixtures can be tricky
because you got to figure out how to get like
the dome off or right. If it's like an outdoor
light fixture, like you got to figure out like all right, well,
where there's the access point for.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
This or the long tube lights that have to go
in a certain way, and then light Bob has a light.

Speaker 12 (13:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (13:49):
Yeah, but you would think the kids would just go
to YouTube and learn how to do it.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, you could do that. In fact, there was a
story this morning. Did you see the story about the
eight year old kid? You love this kid, he's like
you in training. So a couple of days ago. This
is in Ohio's eight year old boy and his four
year old sister woke up hungry and they didn't want
to wake up their mom or dad because you know,
they had a long day, so they decided to be
you know, uh they were dependent. Yeah, yeah, so they

(14:15):
go downstairs to get in the car. The eight year
old drove him and his sister down to the local
McDonald's and he was responsible. He put his sister securely
in the back. He drove about a mile from the house,
through four intersections, over some railroad tracks. Eight yes, several
right hand turns, one left hand turn, all which he

(14:36):
navigated like a pro the legal way. People saw him
driving and called the cops, but before they caught up
to them, the kids made it successfully to the drive
through and paid for a couple of cheeseburgers and some
nuggets with money from their piggy.

Speaker 5 (14:51):
Bag rules all the drive through.

Speaker 8 (14:54):
How did the McDonald's employ a good deal with it?

Speaker 2 (14:58):
Well, the McDonald's employees thought it was some kind of
rank so they just kind of like, yeah, we a
viral now, yes, So the police showed up. Somebody who
recognized the kids called the uh called the parents got
him home, but think crazy. The boy said he learned
how to drive on YouTube. That's awesome. You learn everything
on you Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah, if I think

(15:18):
about it, that's what I'll do if I'm trying to
figure out how to do something as well. Yeah, you know,
but it took me a minute, like it always took
my parents the longest time to realize they could just
look something up online.

Speaker 4 (15:29):
Where's the manual?

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, it's amazing what people put on YouTube. I learned.

Speaker 3 (15:33):
The most recent thing I learned was how to dismantle
a pool filter, and somebody had that on YouTube. I'm like, yeah,
it's so boring, yet I need it.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
Yeah yeah, I used.

Speaker 8 (15:41):
It the other day to swap out bands for your
eye watch.

Speaker 1 (15:46):
I just wanted to be sure I knew how to
do that.

Speaker 2 (15:48):
Somebody says, hey, guys, videos, let's keep the glass half full.
Look at it this way. Seven out of eight millennials
know how to change the light bomb, so it's not there.
You go, Yeah, that's the positive.

Speaker 4 (15:57):
Okay, I guarantee the numbers for like lawnmower, a weed
whacker way lower totally.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Oh yeah, they don't know to do that stuff. No, way.
I want to somebody do it for it. You want
to hear a funny story. So Danielle's in here are
bored up. Good morning, Danielle, Good morning. You're a millennial. Unfortunately,
this is a funny story. Cameron was telling me. The
story is like, dude, check this out. So Danielle skins
her knee and with like soil bleeding, right and you
had to band it up.

Speaker 13 (16:26):
Yeah, this is gonna make me sound like an idiot.
But yeah, I just I fell, like I tripped over something.
I was on my phone. I think I was checking emails,
so I was doing something semi plane. But yeah, but
I tripped and just fell completely and like I skinned
my knee all over the floor, like I kind of
slid a little bit. Oh yeah, and I immediately felt

(16:47):
it and I was like that's not going to be
good later. And yeah, it was bleeding and I had
like a bump and everything.

Speaker 2 (16:53):
Yeah. So she goes to go put a band in
on it. Her sister starts like flipping out, like, no,
you got to clean it first. She's like a deer
in headlights, has no idea what that means, has no
idea how to clean it, Like peroxide.

Speaker 13 (17:07):
I had put like water on it, like I got
like a paper towel and the water and like kind
of cleaned it so it wasn't like dirty anymore, you know, But.

Speaker 2 (17:14):
I didn't, like, yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 13 (17:16):
I didn't think about it, Like, honestly, I don't remember
before this the last time that I hurt myself like that.
Like I don't do anything like dangerous or reckless to
where I would hurt myself, So I don't even remember
the last time I hurt myself like that. But yeah,
my sister was like, you have to clean it first,
and I was just like what I did or I
thought I did.

Speaker 2 (17:35):
I don't. I didn't think about it, but like not
know how to clean, Yeah, did you we do?

Speaker 13 (17:42):
Yeah, because my my mom has a daycare, so we
have like first aid stuffy.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
So her sister's looking at her, like, what's wrong with you?

Speaker 14 (17:50):
How do you know?

Speaker 2 (17:51):
Danielle's just like like just the deer in headlights, not
knowing where to start.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
Where you're so like protected and sheltered. Yeah, just don't
get been cut that you can remember.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
Oh yeah, my.

Speaker 13 (18:02):
Sister was laughing at me so hard, and yeah, she
always loves to joke with me about that because she
always says like, I'm so fragile and I never get hurt.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
So, I mean there's some some things that people just
never learned how to do. Yeah, it doesn't I'm ignorant.
There's no raybe. And I used to work with this
one dude. And this guy is in his thirties and
up until he got married, he would bring his laundry
over to his mom's house because they would have like
a family dinner on a Saturday or a Sunday, and
he'd bring his laundry over for family dinner night so

(18:32):
his mom could do his laundry for him. That's just rude. Wow,
And he goes, she loves it. Oh, I'm my dah.

Speaker 8 (18:38):
That's what my one friend used to say about him
bringing just bags of laundry to his mom.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Oh, she wants to do it, and then he and
then he would say and then he would say, dude,
I'm terrible at it. So that was his other excuse.
You know, I'm terrible at the laundry churning it himself, right,
he'd be bad.

Speaker 7 (18:56):
I started doing my own when I was like, oh,
because my mom would mess up my clothes like she
would always have like bleach in there or something like
that would yell at her. So then I just ended
up just doing it myself pretty much the rest of
my life.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yeah, I mean, laundry is easy. You throw it in there.
Todd pods have made it so simple. Just make sure
you don't eat them. Do not eat it right, bad
names du Yeah, and then you watch everything cold. I
put colors, uh white, everything in one and just do it,
and cold get and cold, and then you know most

(19:32):
of the stuff all I'll hang dry super easy. Really. Yeah.
If I'm sort of hippie, things are older, I don't
want to shrink them. Things barely fit.

Speaker 8 (19:43):
Sometimes you don't need to hang dry T shirts I
do you do.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
Much like the nicer T shirts like this one. You
hang them wear You have a clothes line in your yard,
like I like, lay it flat on a you know,
on the guest room bed or what. Yeah, long does
that take the dry doule hours? Like mold you put it,
You put a towel down and you just you lay
it on that very strange because do you think you

(20:11):
shrink stuff?

Speaker 7 (20:12):
That's like when the first time you get the shirt,
it doesn't shrink after that Yes, it does wash.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Yeah, one wash and it's done. Shrinking. That's the shrinking.

Speaker 2 (20:20):
Also the other thing is too And I don't know
what is it about these front loading washers and dryers.
Now the washers, the front loading washers suck Like I like,
I've thrown things in there to get washed. I'll take
them out and I'll go to like lay the shirt
flat or whatever because I'm you know, not putting the dryer.
It's also soapy. Some areas are wet, others are still
bone dry. Weird. It doesn't use it's a high efficiency thing.

(20:43):
It doesn't use enough water. And so like the clothes
are just not getting as clean as they would otherwise.

Speaker 3 (20:51):
And God forbid you forget suck one sock after you
start the loading. You can't add it because it's a
front loader.

Speaker 2 (20:57):
You can't. Well they have I can stop it.

Speaker 4 (21:00):
Yeah, it doesn't water gush out, nosh.

Speaker 15 (21:02):
No.

Speaker 7 (21:04):
Some of the new ones have actual like a little
door you can open while it's going.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
So that was one of the other things about like
laying shirts and stuff out the dry because if there
was something on the shirt that for whatever reason, was
in the dry spot after the wash was done and
then you throw it in the dryer. Now it's baked
in there and it's it's and it's never coming out
where it may get caught on the next time you
throw it in the washer and actually come out. So

(21:29):
what is something that, even into adulthood you are completely
naive about? Are you? Like the I can't do laundry person,
I have no idea how to clean a wound a
cute if I sight my knee. I still have no
idea how to you know, balance a check book or
you know, basic things that seems like most people have
figured out by the time that they're living on their

(21:51):
own ironing, Like what is it like, I mean, I've
never had to, but I don't know how to drive
a stick. I have no idea. I mean I have
the basic idea. Yeah, I always wanted to teach you,
but yeah, but I have no use for it. I'm
never gonna buy it.

Speaker 8 (22:05):
You'll never That would be a great video for the
should get frustrated.

Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah, it's super fun. And then I'll teach Mentes how
to swing of golf club. I'll get behind him and
I'll pull my arms around him to wrap around and
r hips put my hands on his hips. That'd be
another great video. Trunk does suck Tho Welcome back. They
might look cute and gut they are very mean spirited
way back everybody. I think that is unfair. We're not

(22:35):
mean spirited. I mean, unless you're meaning spirited to us.
That's one thing now that happens, Like if you respond
to somebody who's being you know, douchey to you. Yeah,
then all of a sudden everything gets turned on you.
Like wait an buy Yeah just walked up to you
on the street and smacked you in the face, but
you responded by smacking the back. You're the jerk. Yeah,

(22:57):
what am I supposed to do? That's the new trend
the past couple of years. That's what we always say.
We don't bend over backwards. They're trying to accommodate the
people who aren't into the show. If you're all into
the show, great you we care about. But if you're
a hate listening, don't expect anything. Don't expect an apology,
don't expect us to change stuff.

Speaker 8 (23:15):
But I mean, just watch hockey or the NBA. It's
always the retaliator. They get the penalty. You know, somebody
will punch first. You punch back, you're in the penalty
box or you're in foul trouble.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
That's because like the ref for whatever, didn't see the
first one, right, they just saw the response sucks. But
on social media you can see everything. Yeah, but you're
the dick, you're the Yeah, what are you bullying me? Like? Uh,
didn't you just call me an fing a hole? Yeah? Yeah,
deal with that? Yeah, bully, Look dude, calm down.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
Right.

Speaker 2 (23:47):
Yeah, anyway, but if if you're all in, you're here
and you're loving the show, thank you so much for listening.
We do love and appreciate you for that. Phones are
opening at eight seven seven forty four. Send us a
text over to two two nine eight seven. Story in Wisconsin.
This fifty six year old guy named Craig. He was
driving on the highway when he drifted into the other lane.

(24:07):
He crashed head on with this other guy named Christopher,
and then a few moments later another guy, this guy Herbert,
crashed into Craig and Christopher. Now Herbert, what do all
three guys have in common? Wasted? And all three were drunk. Wow,
that's right, and all three of their cars, which had

(24:28):
to be towed away from the scene were also impounded,
So all three arrested charge with the You at least
they crashed into each other and they all coralled together. Yeah,
not somebody else. But we're gonna go through some of
the drunk dial voicemails that you respiso on the weekend
at nine nine drunk VM. So next time you're in

(25:03):
that kind of space, somebody who meets the requirements of
somebody who should be calling the drunk dial voicemail, please
leave us a message. Reference the number that you've saved
in your phone. What he showed drunk dial voicemail, because
it's gonna be a lot harder to remember it. Well,
you'll never remember it. Yeah, nine to nine drunk VM.
In the moment, it might be more difficult. Nine to
nine drunk VM. But the good news is the voicemail

(25:26):
is available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week,
So no matter when that happens for you, we are
ready to go to accept your calls, and we're gonna
go back through and see what they left us over
the weekend. Here we go, drunk dial voicemail.

Speaker 5 (25:40):
Hey, traffic Cannon makes this new Temia Colada juice.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Mix that with a little malabe and then takes a
man of that. You have a good night.

Speaker 6 (25:51):
I am another castro from my life, and I did
the dishes.

Speaker 4 (25:55):
Nice sounds like his wife, he says, yeah, a great glory,
like already drop a care that man is drinking extreme
girl drinks.

Speaker 5 (26:07):
I mean that's even too girly for Menace.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
I mean Menace respect though, right, Yeah, I respect that
the best I know.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
But antibiotics won't affect you. That's nothing that's not gonna
make you get buz.

Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, I mean, who am I to menace because I
don't even really drink. But Menace when he does order
a drink, he orders some really fruity stuff. I know,
it's easier. What's next to a fuzzy Nabel? I would
love it.

Speaker 5 (26:33):
Comes with an umbrella.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
He's good to go, served in a pineapple. You can
always if Menace goes on vacasion, you can always count
on at least one photo of him holding a pineapple drink.

Speaker 1 (26:48):
And then I have over here pineapple filled with shrimp.

Speaker 2 (26:52):
I love it. I support it. It's delicious. And he
mentioned in the castroll, which I haven't had in such
a long time. So good was this? Nineteen sixty four
My mom growing up, that was like one of our
go to castrole Yeah, big wide egg noodles, tunic castle,
and then on the top would be that the butter
mixed with the breadcrumbs. Yeah exactly. Topic good and good

(27:15):
for you, so good. The castroles are in there the
butt of every joke. But they're delicious, just tied in
there with like cargo pants and other things. People love
the crap. Yeah, they're good. Their sixties food, all right,
but this delicious sixties food on the steak my mom
Hamburgers exactly.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
But my mom was a giant fan of Ted Indole
castrole too. I'm not going to romanticize it like it
was decent. It's poor food, which is fine.

Speaker 2 (27:38):
We were poor. It was good. That was the last
time I had tunic castro I.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Don't know Hamburger helper. Now that you've reminded me, damn it,
I'll make one.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
To bring.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
Nine drunk VM drunktyle Voiceman. I think that Greag should
marry me.

Speaker 12 (27:57):
I'm gonna make him straight one day and then tel
Sebastians come to Albuquerque and do cortners.

Speaker 2 (28:05):
But anyways, top Greg that he's so sexy. Okay, buy
because that's the way it works. Greg, you just haven't
had good lady, good enough Johnny.

Speaker 3 (28:17):
She needs to give me of some examples of it,
you know, like how will this benefit me? She said
we should get married? Like, well, okay, well what do
you have to offer?

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Sell me on it?

Speaker 2 (28:25):
Yeah? What are you bringing to the man? Are your
friends fans me question? Going back to tuna noodle cat yes,
Like if somebody said, do you want some tuna noodle
cast role, you would say no, just because it's the
sixties food. Like even if you said, we go like,
oh that sounds actually pretty good. I like tuna noodle
cast role.

Speaker 4 (28:41):
I would say why do you have it? Why am
I being presented with it? I mean, if I should depend,
I would I would want to say no.

Speaker 2 (28:49):
Yes.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
Now if it was my grandmother, I'd be like yeah, okay,
Like why because most cast role?

Speaker 2 (28:53):
You like it? Right? When I was five?

Speaker 4 (28:56):
Our garbage most cast roles for just let's throw what
we got left over in a pan and therefore a
serole it's not good?

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Like you wouldn't what?

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (29:04):
You love Emerald, you love shouting him out his great restaurants.
You ever been to one that serves to noodle casserole.
You ever been to any five and I'm sure some
chef would want to try, just to be quirky. You
ever been to a Michelin star restaurant that soups serves.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
That's a weak argument because I like pop tarts, but
they don't serve him at the restaurant.

Speaker 4 (29:20):
It's well, it's the same thing. It's kind of cheap
crap food, which is fine. Again, I ate tons of
it as a kid.

Speaker 7 (29:25):
I prefer mine with.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Just because it's old time. He doesn't make it bad.
I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (29:30):
But the other things I was just talking about is
Rockefeller couldn't be more old time.

Speaker 2 (29:35):
And it's amazing. This is my last analogy.

Speaker 4 (29:37):
Do you ever see it served at a high end restaurant?

Speaker 2 (29:39):
My question?

Speaker 1 (29:39):
But what is that you only eat a high end restaurant.

Speaker 4 (29:41):
Obviously that's a sign of better types of food. Raven
knows tis.

Speaker 1 (29:45):
I know what he's said.

Speaker 2 (29:46):
These people are being intentionally not right.

Speaker 7 (29:48):
I know what you're saying, and food has progressed argument,
that's all.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
He's not lying.

Speaker 8 (29:53):
The ingredients in tuna noodle casserole are garbage.

Speaker 2 (29:57):
Noodles, Yeah, noodles. Noodles are sun. How much can stur cream? Yeah?
Maybe is there like a pizza version, But I'm sure
it sounds good to make I say it sounds pretty
awesome to me. Okay again, but back to the point,
was the last time he even had it?

Speaker 3 (30:16):
If it's so awes, I haven't had a hot dog
at Michelin Star restaurant, you're missing out.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Also talking about my wife, so let's hello fresh sends
it out? What this cast roll crapping on wonders the
text cast rolls are awesome? I agree.

Speaker 4 (30:32):
Hey, look, it's all easy to say, but again, when's
the last time you ate one? The question posed in
this room and nobody can remember.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Technically a cast roll you like that, Now you're throwing,
Now you're you're adding, that's just as serves in a
Michelin Star restaurant guarantee. It's just as you can argue
that all my argument is not really valid or that's ridiculous.

Speaker 4 (30:56):
Yeah, it's a lot of it's a lot of talking
big about something. You guys ain't repping. You ain't repper
the castro.

Speaker 2 (31:00):
I didn't say it was if that was presented to.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
Just want to eat it, it doesn't mean I don't.

Speaker 4 (31:05):
Like if you had it in the past five Also.

Speaker 7 (31:08):
If it's not good enough for a tire company approved restaurant.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
Michel a tire approved look and it's those all the
same people. People don't realize that.

Speaker 4 (31:17):
But yeah, but anyway, these are all side points, my
points and rules.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Let's see. Yeah, your point is not delicious. Let's go
to this next drunk Doyle voicemail nine oh nine drunk
VM drunk drunk voice.

Speaker 3 (31:35):
So this is for Gregory, my wife and I love you.

Speaker 6 (31:42):
I love you more because he.

Speaker 10 (31:43):
Told you had a white trash couch.

Speaker 16 (31:49):
That's what you're cute?

Speaker 2 (31:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:56):
If you have a main piece of furniture us we
plugged in and and cup holders with cup holders, say
no more white trash.

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Drunk doll voicemails everybody he's talking about.

Speaker 3 (32:11):
He's talking about Michelin Star restaurants. So then he goes home,
plugs in the couch, it puts a beer in the couple.

Speaker 2 (32:18):
Good point, Grass, Yeah, Buila wouldn't approve. Show a little
round of normal by the numbers here, So feel free
to call in and share if anybody here in the
studio thinks of anything that they want to share. Ad
in So, this is a survey one thy five hundred
people and they're asking about, you know, just things that
a lot of us do but never talk about. Some

(32:38):
are boring everyday thing, some are gross, some are just weird.
But here are some from the list. Half of this
one was really weird. I'm wondering if anybody does this.
Have you ever not showered for several days just to
see how bad you could possibly smell?

Speaker 14 (32:54):
No?

Speaker 2 (32:56):
I can't do it, No, not for that reason. I
mean I've gone a couple of days Withers.

Speaker 5 (33:00):
Without showering on vacation for sure.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Yeah, But have ever done it with the purpose to
see how bad I could possibly what?

Speaker 12 (33:09):
Was?

Speaker 2 (33:09):
On vacation?

Speaker 3 (33:10):
Why does that make a difference, Well, you might be
at a beach or something like that. Why shower after
swimming in the ocean?

Speaker 8 (33:15):
Not necessarily vacation even just like time off. If we
have like four days off in a row and I
don't work out one of those days, I probably won't shower.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
Yeah, and if I've hit the pool, that's a shower
on vacation. Yeah, on vacation, yeah, I agree, Yeah, power
after a nap, I do shower, Like if we are
on vacation. We're going to like a dinner, I'll shower
before dinner. But I'm not waking up in the morning
and showering away. Hell no, no, what fifteen percent of
Europeans so that they've done it just to see if.

Speaker 5 (33:43):
They stand, just to see how ripe they can get.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
Yeah, five percent of Americans said, Yes, that's just that's
that's just the rest of this stuff. Maybe maybe you do.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I'm a complete opposite. If I take a shower before
bed on a weeknight, even for whatever reason I'm taking
a shower, I will put products in my hair. I
will put deodorant on and cologne on and then go
to bed.

Speaker 1 (34:04):
Really yeah, why do you need cologne in bed?

Speaker 2 (34:07):
I don't know. And why I'm obsessed with deodorant and Colonne?
And like, why would you put stuff on your hair? No,
just to keep it trained out on that, yeah, to
keep it. Yeah, you sleep on like a silk pillowcase. Great, No,
because that keeps your hair in place. Yeah, I mean,
if you want to be one. Yeah, I never knew that.
Oh well, now you know, eat silk sheets because you

(34:28):
slide all over. No, but like a silk pillowcase, this
is just for your hair. I did not know that. Yeah, man,
get one, maybe I will, Okay, next one? Cheat normal
by the numbers, Do you use the bathroom and do
you check behind the shower curtain to make sure that
nobody is there spying on you? So when you're in
the bathroom, have you ever checked behind the shower curtain
to make sure that nobody is there spying on you?

Speaker 6 (34:49):
No?

Speaker 2 (34:49):
You never, like really because there's somebody like somebody in
there not necessarily spying. But no, never done that. No, never.
All right, I have not done that either, but thirty
seven percent of people have done that. Weird.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Uh Do you.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Ever smell your dirty underwear to see if you can
wear it again? No? Smell it? No, look at it?
Maybe I have done that really? Yeah? Yeah, you know
why because I've underpacked for like a quick trip and
I didn't bring I was like one pair of short
I'm like, man, out of all these, which is I

(35:23):
look at them and I go, all right, which ones
look like, you know, the least, the least stretched out
or you know what I mean, they look the least
worn or smell the least. I could feel it though,
pack underwear for a trip.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
What if you just went out for a few hours
the night before.

Speaker 7 (35:40):
I'll do that with T shirts though, Yeah, totally, of
course I'll smell.

Speaker 1 (35:45):
It's different not underwear though.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
H three one says, I scratch my balls or my
inner thigh and then I smell it my fingers.

Speaker 4 (35:54):
Everybody, this is why you shouldn't shake hands with anybody.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
Yeah, people have done that is smelling today. I've done then,
you know what the daily not just like you for
like a regular nut itch, but like if I go
down there and there's like a little bit of moisture
or whatever, I'll come back up and I'll smell it
to make sure it's not.

Speaker 7 (36:10):
Rough a ma, sure you need to get a swab
or something clean it up.

Speaker 2 (36:15):
Like you've never done that, Craig, I mean probably, yeah,
of course you have. I have, but I don't do
it just for the fun. Or have you ever smelled
your finger after you stuck it in your belly button? No?
I think I have. Yeah, that's weird too that I
don't do.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
It's probably so ra.

Speaker 2 (36:31):
Six six one, texting over to two two nine eighty seven,
I masturbate on the way to work. No time for myself.
Mother of two rip something about me in my time
from hiding from random trucks, driving by cool way to work.
That's multitasking.

Speaker 4 (36:45):
You'll be fine.

Speaker 1 (36:46):
How does somebody flick the bean when they're driving?

Speaker 2 (36:48):
It's much easier for chicks because it just looks like
your hand is in your lap, you know, like a guys. Yeah,
it looks like you're trying to make a bow drill fire,
But how can you concentrate on the road.

Speaker 4 (37:02):
She may have the ability to do it over the
clothes too.

Speaker 1 (37:04):
People can multitask like that, So a little normal.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
By the numbers this morning for you on the Woody Show,
We're always here to make you feel better about yourself
or worse.

Speaker 5 (37:12):
That's some weird stuff.

Speaker 3 (37:14):
Yeah, I don't remember the number, but I saw it recently.
H x percent of people. Again, I don't recall the
number stand up when they wipe? After number two.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Yeah, I did see the whole like, uh, stand up
when you wipe?

Speaker 2 (37:27):
And then I said, do I do that? I mean
maybe you got a lot?

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Yeah I got Oh you have that.

Speaker 2 (37:32):
New survey found it's a very close battle between staying
seated on the toilet when you wipe versus standing up.
Fifty three percent they seated. Forty six percent stand Wow,
I can't be that high. The other one percent say
they don't wipe, so don't whip. Yeah, maybe they're just
getting in the shower. Maybe they're one of those people.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
News out and then gets right in the show.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Yeah, I gotta feel clean. No, I stand really like yeah,
stand or kind of like well like standstand like no squad, no,
stand just stand relaxed, stand straight. Yeah, I stand up
like like that, like like right like you're kind of

(38:14):
like meeely half squad. No, no, no, not like that.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
Please stop irtate.

Speaker 2 (38:19):
Your wife like this, like you're literally like standing straight up. No,
normal stand normal stand. I have thought about the people
that I'm like, really, people sit to do.

Speaker 8 (38:29):
That that much toilet paper to get you cleaned up exactly?

Speaker 6 (38:32):
Why?

Speaker 1 (38:33):
Because you're squatting there be so much easier.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
It's not easier like a gorilla. And then I'm just like.

Speaker 4 (38:39):
No, I'm never touching another human being in my life.
That's disgusting.

Speaker 1 (38:45):
What disgusting?

Speaker 4 (38:46):
You're not getting clean?

Speaker 2 (38:47):
If you are getting clean, when the paper comes out clean,
it's clean. Just what's the difference betweens going all the
way in?

Speaker 3 (38:53):
Yes, I think it's going are implying that if you
were sitting there'd be more access because the butthole.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
No, the paper drag, the paper drags the surface of
the hall is messed. Ude, did that budet people.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
City.

Speaker 8 (39:13):
I never wipe sitting on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
You just you lift.

Speaker 3 (39:18):
Lift right or left right, kind of like when you're
sitting down and you need to fart, you kind of
like lean, yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
You let that air out. Yeah, that's how you wipe.

Speaker 2 (39:28):
You just lean to one side and getting up the.

Speaker 8 (39:30):
Toilet and squatting like an animal, just gorilla style, a gorilla.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
I have gorilla in it before. But percent of the
time you just sit.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
You just sit and lift a cheek.

Speaker 2 (39:42):
More fun than gonorrhea. Well, apparently that last conversation really
spoke to a lot of people. Did It was funny,
And it's funny because you know what, I'm just looking
at the text. It seems to go to the way
that they said the survey numbers when it looks to
me about fifty.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
To fifty fifty.

Speaker 2 (39:59):
That is shocked. Yeah, it is weird. I just don't understand,
like the way that you don't understand how anybody stands
to wipe. Craig no, I get it. I said, I
get it because well, now that I showed you right,
but then I showed you how they do it sitting.

Speaker 5 (40:11):
But the fact that you don't get this right, I
don't understand.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
When you say I don't get it and then I
show you you can still don't get it.

Speaker 2 (40:17):
Well, no, no, no, now I understand more because like
what I was picturing in my mind, we're talking about
by the way, do you sitter stand when you wipe?
It was abnormal by the numbers segment that we had.
If you're just tuning in, you're like, what the hell's
going on? What are they talking about? And the normal
numbers were about fifty to fifty. Yeah, So on the
one of the questions do you sitter stand to wipe?
And it was like a fifty to fifty response on

(40:39):
the National Survey And then we went around here in
the room and apparently I'm the only one that stands,
so it's not fifty to fifty in this room. I'm
halfway menacetas like the gorilla stands. I sometimes the best
you can, but like I.

Speaker 7 (40:53):
Was halfway standing, halfway scouting if.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
You told me it was Afghanistan or something where people stand,
I'd be like, Okay, I get it. It's you know,
they don't have proper plumbing or whatever.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
Because the plumbing has something to do with you sitting
or standing exactly.

Speaker 4 (41:04):
But like, let me ask you this, here's a good analogy.
Would you you could apply you stick the odor and
just by kind of squeezing in there and cramming it
in there, or you could lift your arm up so
you have the best access possible.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
You still have the access analogy it is not but okay,
so okay, question, really good question, thank you Greg. Question.
When you shower and you clean your ass? R are
you sitting when you do it? Are you able to
get in there and clean when you're standing in the
shower and spread then once you're all soapy there? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (41:35):
Better.

Speaker 3 (41:36):
You do have to aid the process by by the
analogy of lifting the arm. You have to you have
to spread.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Yeah, it's the same. It's the same thing.

Speaker 8 (41:47):
How are you doing hands manually?

Speaker 2 (41:50):
You have three arms, because you've got just number two
and show it anually with one hand or two with
the boxing glove.

Speaker 1 (42:04):
Let me add a third to this.

Speaker 4 (42:06):
The very active standing kind of smears it on the
cheeks on the inside where you don't have to do
that right, right, right, journeying yourself even more.

Speaker 5 (42:15):
Box glove makes so much more sense to be now because.

Speaker 3 (42:18):
You're coated in making a peanut butter sandwich where you
have two pieces of bread on the plate and you
put peanut butter on both, and then you smush them
together and then try to get the peanut butter out.

Speaker 2 (42:28):
Why don't you scrape it off while the bread is
on the plate. Sevend one four is daring us to
smell what his chair. I've got to be with along
with Greg and Rady. I've got to be the cleanest
person in this room. Yes, have I ever been pegged
as being the stinky one? And never you actually smell

(42:48):
free blinds, the boxing glove of toilet paper. No, you're
not a slow I don't leave that bathroom until all
signs of duty are gone. I believe it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:59):
So like when I was.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Picturing when you were talking about sitting, I'm picturing like
being on the toilet. I'm thinking, like, how does your
hand not hit the water because I'm thinking you're reaching
in like down through your balls. Yeah, I know what
you mean.

Speaker 3 (43:11):
You know you don't go between the legs and one
side still have to wipe front to back. Of course, right,
you just reached under you.

Speaker 2 (43:18):
Never go you never go to show you again from
the No, I see what you're saying. Let me see
it again, Greg, you lift cheek and reach and.

Speaker 8 (43:31):
I know so much more about everybody in this room
and than I wish I didn't.

Speaker 2 (43:34):
Have you actually have you ever? Okay, so sitting and
you do the leash the arm, like hit the back
of the toilet and stuff like that. No, I mean
last year.

Speaker 4 (43:42):
I guess you guys take them my realestate.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Because you understand your dimensions.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Don't sail about super fair question?

Speaker 4 (43:52):
You ever.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
The water? Yeah, fair question. So when you're sitting, I'm
just trying to understand. So you're sitting to wipe, You're
doing your lean right, so you're not bracing yourself with
your other hand, right, you're just like balancing correct correct,
All right. So let's say let's say you're concentrating on
getting the mud out of there the dirt. Have you

(44:18):
ever lost your balance like while you're doing it, and
like you accidentally sit on the dirty toilet paper and
now it's like on the backside of your thigh.

Speaker 4 (44:26):
No, You're not like from It's not like a one.

Speaker 1 (44:31):
You know, you're pulling in your drunk.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
There's a little but you just catch yourself with your
free arm.

Speaker 7 (44:38):
Yeah, you see a potential of breaking your wrist or
arm your way.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
I don't know. Do you think you're This is much
like the rave ready to wipe?

Speaker 1 (44:59):
Let's go, Oh my god, I think I.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Mean wait sixt six months saying, no, wonder what he
always has mud, But I don't always have mud button.
I have mud butt as much as any other dude
has mud. Yeah, Gregg's a sitter to wipe.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
I'm a sitting Yeah, he's aving a degree of difficulty.

Speaker 2 (45:20):
I'm asking questions. I'm not you know, I don't. I
don't live this life. But but the sitting or standing
to wipe argument to me is the same as the
Xbox or PlayStation argument, or the android or iPhone argument. Y.

Speaker 1 (45:39):
They all accomplished right in there.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
They all accomplished the same thing, just people doing things
with a different piece of equipment or in a different way. Correct,
you're still calling and texting and surfing the web, and
you're Android as you are on your iPhone, and you're
still playing Call of Duty. And yeah, Duty and Madden
the same way that you are on an Xbox or

(46:02):
a PlayStation. But you're still getting your butt clean whether
you are standing or whether you are wiping. But if
you show up to work with the cast on, I
know what happened.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
Yeah, yeah, I injured myself.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
Yeah, Braby has like one of those like bowlers aggressively
what those bawler's risk guards on a wipe ac you
have for car tunnel.

Speaker 3 (46:22):
At least we've all learned, Like now you can't say
you don't understand sitting in.

Speaker 2 (46:26):
Yeah, like I said, I was thinking that you were like,
you know, dragging the water as you put your hand
down under the ball to try you don't go between,
you go on one side.

Speaker 8 (46:36):
Okay, Tween, you would have to be a goodist wipe
that way.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
This it's a show, and we are into another new
hour and as you know, we are out this week,
and thanks to all of your requests and suggestions, we've
pulled some audio from the last ten years out of
the Woody Show vault. These are the moments that you
said you heard as a new listener and decided that, hey,
this is the show for me. You know, lots of

(47:04):
people have worked for the show over the years. You're
gonna hear them in these segments. Lots of what you're
gonna hear hasn't even aired in years. But when this
vacation is over, all these clips, all these segments, they're
gonna be retired forever, never to be heard on the
air again.

Speaker 1 (47:20):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
So we'd still like to hear what your thoughts are
on anything you hear this morning on the show. If
there's an opinion or a story you would like to add.
There are a lot of ways to do that. Best
ways the after hours voicemail anytime after ten am until
five am the next morning, eight seven seven forty four Woody.
That's eight seven seven forty four Woody. Of course you
can email us email at Thewoodieshow dot com. And of

(47:41):
course you got social media as well, find us follow
us on the social media platform of your choice at
the Woody Show. Yep, this is a segment that we
call The Woody Show Hot Seat, and we don't do
it all that often. I mean, I can't remember the
last time we did it.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Something with Julianne and how she ran onto a freeway
to get a child's toy.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
I believe I don't.

Speaker 1 (48:08):
Think that was the seat.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
The hot seed is usually somebody has done something or
is doing something that is becoming an issue with another
person on the show. Yeah, I remember the last one. Anyway,
So we have we have everybody here, myself, Ravey, Greg Menace,
Sea Bass, Fakenews Dot Cameron, we have bort Our production guy.

(48:31):
We have Julianne the phone screener in here. We have
Randy the camera guy.

Speaker 1 (48:38):
We have our.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
Newest member of the show, young Michael. This is his
very first hot seed, right, first hot seed? All right,
I'm sure he's excited. All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 (48:53):
I have not been able to eat all morning. I
found it hard to believe.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
We should do the hot seat every day, though we should.
So skinny again, all right, what do you have to hide?
Nothing besides doughnuts. Well, since young Michael has not been
here long enough, Young Michael, you are not on the

(49:16):
Woodie Show as you were, Young Michael. All right, so
that's good news for him.

Speaker 17 (49:27):
Sea Bass Hello, Okay, we'll come back to you.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Please, But if it's Sea Bass, he don't care. Julianne
the phone screener, Yes, you are not. God, congrats. Cameron, Yes,

(49:56):
come back to him.

Speaker 1 (49:58):
You said.

Speaker 17 (50:03):
We will revisit you. Yes, we'll come back to you
as well. You are not on the wood Show.

Speaker 1 (50:18):
So long, suckers, damn it.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Don't gloat, oh so gloating Menace?

Speaker 7 (50:25):
Yeah what.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
You are not on the Woody Show. I think Manas
was convinced. And now it makes me like what Menace.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
Is up to?

Speaker 2 (50:39):
So many secrets. I'm just trying to bury them, Randy.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Yes, Hello, Hello, Hey, Hello, am I on the hot seat?

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Hello, I'm Randy. Randy. I would like to tell you
mm hmm that Sea Bass is not on the Woodie Show.

Speaker 18 (51:00):
Oh my god, thanks good, I already do that. Yes, finally,
I would like to inform you that Greg is not
on the wood Show.

Speaker 2 (51:19):
Yeah, I know, thanks Ray, Thanks? What did you do? Randy?
I know I'm shaking though, Randy. Yes, as you were,
you are not on the Woody Show. The hell a
bitch to twos? Anybody cared to come clean about anything

(51:42):
now that we have a narrowed down.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
No, wow, No, I do not have anything to declare.
You could tell something to declare.

Speaker 2 (51:51):
What do you think I've got on you?

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Nothing?

Speaker 8 (51:54):
Because I've been very well behaved and well managed lately.

Speaker 19 (52:04):
Oh man, Raby, Yes, Raby, you are not on the
wood Show.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
That means Cameron fake news do Cameron is on the
Woody Show hot.

Speaker 1 (52:31):
So glad it's not me.

Speaker 2 (52:32):
Now that we know who is on the Woody Show
hot seat, we will tell you why he is on
the hot seat. Coming up next on the wood Show,
The Woody Show, and we're back. It is the Woodie Show.
What is show hot seat? We found out that fake

(52:53):
news on Cameron is on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
What the hell?

Speaker 2 (52:56):
And somebody said, it's always Cameron on the hot seat. No,
it's Julianne last time. Yeah, and I think it's when
she was being mean to callers. It is when we
have her on the hot seat.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
Maybe they mean it just feels like I'm on the
hot seat every day.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
Yeah, well this is not my This was just reported
to me, okay, And somebody said to me, I have
something for the Woodie Show hot seat. Okay, I wonder
if you have any idea what it might be. No,
not that I know of no idea whatsoever. No, you
can't think of something, all right, But the person who
would like to confront fakenews dot Cameron please take the floor.

(53:35):
Cameron shocking surprise.

Speaker 3 (53:39):
What It's gotta have something to do with sloping.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
It does.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
Cameron has been known in the past for leaving his
coffee cups out to the point where they leave rings
on the upholstery, allegedly in the office. I'll be coming
here on the weekend sometimes and like, hey, I have
old bulls of cereal, old coffee cups and like donut
wrappers out on his desk. No, that has happened multiple times.
Menace ating up on some of that. If you just
go to his workstation, it's covered in like this weird film.

(54:06):
What do you see this? It's like water spots and
weird crap over there. But that's not what this is about.
Every morning, Cameron is the first person usually to use
the bathrooms here in these offices, and we get the
bathrooms fresh because the overnight cleaning crew they you get
done maybe a half hour hour before we get in here.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
By the way, you know you're getting to work way
too early. When you're coming in as the nighttime cleaning
crew is about to leave, they're not even done.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
Yeah, So that's a nice little perk of being up
too early. Is we get French fresh bathrooms marpet Et cetera.
Cameron's usually the first person to go, and like clockwork,
if you're the second person to go in that bathroom,
there is a giant log of a turd waiting for you.

Speaker 11 (54:54):
I am not the only person to note you are
work dumper too, because well, yeah, a town of schedule
every day I like to bring inn waitness number one bort.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
Yeah, I'm sorry, dude, I love you, but do not.

Speaker 1 (55:09):
You're in here right now.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Your bathroom schedule. It's like, yes, two forty five, Act
four forty five, six forty five, and then you go
after the show, right, So he always goes to the
same thing too. And I always go to that bathroom
to use the urnal. And the first thing that happens
when I go in there, I'm like, man, why is
it smell so bad? Like no one's been in here
and cleaning crews just came through. Cameron, blow it up,

(55:32):
walking saw there's a log. Yeah. And then and then
he goes to that stall. And the reason he knows
because when he goes to the restroom, like born has
a thing against jurnals, I do. He goes in there
like he'll use the stall just to tinkle. Yes, yeah,
an animal I flush every time. There's nobody else that

(55:53):
could be unless there's a ghost taking bathroom.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
The bathroom always smells rribly no matter what. So I
think there's a plumbing problem.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
That's what they're coming back up through the plumbing. Me
get the straight, Let me get the straight. So what
you're saying is, uh, the cleaning crew comes in, they
do their job. When they leave, everything is clean, toilets
are all flushed. There's yeah, there's there's nothing else in there.

(56:24):
But then somehow like a turd will come back, sticking
up through the plumbing the way I resent itself, and
I've go to the other brush. I learned not to
use that bathroom anymore because I know he's destroyed it.
I never used that bath that's I've learned. Exactly.

Speaker 4 (56:37):
I go to the one down the hall, and it's
always fresh and bright blue water in.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
There, because that's the good bathroom.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Okay, can we bring up what happened the other day?
Sea Bass also noticed went in there just after Cameron did. Sorry, dude,
not just one stall, two stalls, headlogs in them.

Speaker 1 (56:56):
Oh yeah, because I just crapped. Exactly, if you used it,
you had to be one of them.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
You had to be one of them. Yeah, what if
they both ended up with turds being left behind and
you had just been in there, that means that you
had used one of them.

Speaker 1 (57:12):
Using the stalls, well, at least claim one turd. Then
are you telling you why wouldn't I flush every time?

Speaker 4 (57:23):
That either that or you're not making sure it's flushed properly.
Either one is still your. The result is the same.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
You may have a fetish sea bass.

Speaker 4 (57:33):
Oh yeah, yeah, that'd be a long time.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
I guess the long and skinny of this is that
we just need you to make sure you flush and
make sure the turd is gone if you're going to
do that, especially because like we're really the only ones
who are here at that hour, and it's weird that
if somebody goes in there right after the cleaning, right
after the cleaning people, and the only person who's used

(57:57):
the bathroom is you, and there's a turd left in
the toilet more times than that.

Speaker 3 (58:02):
Now, see Bessie said you wanted to go to witness
number one. Did you have another witness?

Speaker 2 (58:05):
No, that's me. I'm witness for zero. Can I be
witnessed number three?

Speaker 6 (58:12):
Cameron?

Speaker 2 (58:13):
I love you crazy? So much, but you know, like menace.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
I never coca at work because I'm not a pig
and an animal, and I can control myself.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
I'm an adult, and it's filthy.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
But yesterday I thought, oh my god, I had ravy
bubble guts, and I thought, I think I have to
do this today. I had a pou emergency run into
the bathroom. This was right at about the time, about
an hour after we all get here. Cleaning crew by
this point has gone. Bathroom is pristine. I run into
the stall. I always use the big stall at the end.
I run in, go to get the little assasket, and

(58:51):
I look in the toilet, big piece of coca, and
I went, and I and my body went and I
didn't have to poop anymore because it was so gross,
And I thought, walks out of a stall, not realizing
there's still stuff in the toilet, and.

Speaker 2 (59:12):
You poop at work daily, I do. I can't even
look at you in the face.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Man, Well, let's come up with an action plan. I think,
I think number one.

Speaker 4 (59:20):
Until he can prove that he's a responsible user, he
has to go downstairs.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
Yeah, no duties here for you.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
No duties here for you.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
There's a bathroom or on the fourth floor, you can
use that one, the private Ryan Seacrest bathroom, or the
winners the street.

Speaker 1 (59:40):
I'm telling you it's the plumbing.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
Okay, how come.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
It doesn't happen to anybody else the rest of the day.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
Yeah, I mean, you don't have proof that it's mine.
To begin with.

Speaker 20 (59:51):
We do the show, The Woody Show.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
You made it then, just in time. The Woody Show
is that if you guys could only be a party
to the conversations that were happening during the commercial songs
and everything else. We have Mike the Show Killer. You
want to hear another classic, Mike, another classic, another classic intro? Okay,
all right, here we go. Oh hookoo's come.

Speaker 6 (01:00:27):
In through the back door now, Mike Rusho Killer.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
Killer An there it's another classic, good one. All right.
So Mike the Show Killer just uh, just spent a
handful of days with him for some station events and

(01:00:54):
some other stuff and whatever, and uh it was. It
was interesting. It's always an education. I always feel like
I learned so much about how to do my own
job up. But when I'm hanging out with Mike and
so anyway, Mike, Mike was listening and it was our
Unpopular Opinions segment, Greg, Okay, the most recent one, yeah, right,
And Greg said something I forget that. You had a

(01:01:14):
couple of different things. Yeah, it was like a little list,
Do you remember what you had.

Speaker 3 (01:01:18):
One of them was about how if you're if a
woman wants to get an abortion, that's all fine and good,
but they should change it to it's their choice, not
just her choice, okay, and any other one it was
an oopsie baby, right.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
And then the other one was.

Speaker 3 (01:01:35):
People complaining about companies that are so big that they
get so great at what they do, well, then be better.

Speaker 2 (01:01:42):
That's what Mike took the issue with. Okay, all right,
So now that was and and here this is the
bigger point, and we don't need to get in the
hole back and forth over the you know, the the
intricacies of that situation. Monopolies basically, right, and whether they're
good or bad or what? Okay, all right, Well, the
advice from my cuz because when we was discussed or

(01:02:03):
when it got brought up because it was the Unpopular
Opinion segment, Mike said that not one person quote challenged Greg,
not one person stood up and challenged Greg, and somebody
in the room needs to do that, And I said, well,
I said, well, number one, what if what if nobody disagrees?
And I'm not sure if that was the case or not,

(01:02:25):
or the fact it was just an unpopular opinions opinion segment.
It's called unpopular opinions? So is it? Is it something
that necessarily does call it? Even if it did call
for if somebody doesn't want to step up in quote,
no one is under any obligation on this show. We
don't equal time to anybody. We don't want to sure
it doesn't There is no rule that says, uh that

(01:02:45):
we and we certainly don't do that. If Greg wants
to have his opinion, why does somebody I'm asking you now, Mike.

Speaker 6 (01:02:51):
Yeah, yeah, it's easy, It's really easy. Why somebody somebody
else say something that's a little maybe all kilter from
what Greg's saying, because it's freaking boring if you just
let it go, If if he's just ranting and raving
about one side of the story, don't you want to
be you know, create a solution and be more accurate

(01:03:11):
with involving someone else in the process of sharing a
different point of view.

Speaker 2 (01:03:15):
But why if nobody, if nobody has anything to say
about it, like should we we should we just create
an opposition?

Speaker 6 (01:03:24):
And that hard to believe. I find that hard to
believe because I think you have so many different, unique
people in that room. They all have voices, and I
think yours, your voice, and and Greg's voice becomes very dominant,
very loud, and and people men is and maybe you know,
sometimes they step back where they should step up. Hello people.
But I'm just saying, in that.

Speaker 7 (01:03:44):
Certain situation, I didn't disagree with Greg's statement.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I mean, I know, I.

Speaker 6 (01:03:51):
Mean, but come on, there's another sign Monopolies not are
not always great.

Speaker 7 (01:03:56):
And see you close your ear, dumbs. If you actually
listen to what he said.

Speaker 2 (01:04:03):
He told you, no, no, don't don't come over just
trying to talk. Now, yeah, you're trying to shove me up.
He's saying, make a better product so you can get
to that level. Do you agree? Our disagree with that statement.

Speaker 6 (01:04:17):
But you once a monopoly becomes I get that point.
But once you get to the next level, then what
then then you're cycling competition, which you should be.

Speaker 7 (01:04:27):
A politician says you don't even answer the ques.

Speaker 2 (01:04:29):
By the way, this was that particular thing was just
the example used for the argument. But the bigger thing
here is that if somebody says something, there is an
obligation for someone in this room. I guess this is
more of that advice about how to pan to the audience.
Somebody needs to step up where they agree with it
or not, just so if there's a person out there

(01:04:50):
who might have the opposite opinion, that way they feel heard.
I don't care if they feel heard or not. We're
having a discussion. If you want to say something, I
always give out the phone number one thousand times a day,
the text a thousand times a day.

Speaker 6 (01:05:03):
Yeah, but there's a there's billion people there never no
one's ever going to agree on a percent with what
you're saying. So I have a right You're making your
own argument, but bringing up bring up a different point
of view, so that I, as a fan of the show,
can say, I am signing with one of you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
I was side with one of us. You're listening.

Speaker 6 (01:05:22):
I was already angry. I was already angry. I couldn't
signe with any one of you.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
The bigger point here is that he only had this
problem with Greg, you didn't have with anybody else.

Speaker 2 (01:05:30):
Whatever, Greg said, I think the triggered happen always his target. Yeah,
always target. As we always know, Mike is always called
Greg a bad gay right because he owns.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
Because Mike owns gay and gay should have one mindset,
which is very demeaning at.

Speaker 2 (01:05:46):
The Gay Project. And I didn't see you out there
in a song getting hammered. Yeah, we are.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
A diverse group of people, but according to Mike Gaye
should have one mind I didn't say that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:56):
That's yeah, we know on the text loathing.

Speaker 3 (01:06:00):
Never been more happy or proud with my life than
I am now, and that is and you love to
throw it on the word offensive. To say I'm self
loathing is so offensive to me. That is disgusting, Mike. Yeah,
brush it off because you know you're wrong. That a disgusting.
You're so close minded. Hold on, Woody, that is horrible

(01:06:22):
thing to say you're self loathing because I disagree with
you and your stupid opinions.

Speaker 2 (01:06:27):
That makes me self loathing?

Speaker 6 (01:06:29):
How dare you you have you have a viewpoint that
I just don't.

Speaker 3 (01:06:33):
Agree with that so that makes me self loathing? You
arrogant a hole? That is Like, I love Mike, and
I question why I.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
Do because that is that is.

Speaker 3 (01:06:46):
So beyond offensive. Anybody who hears this you're saying, give
equal voice, anybody who heard what you just said. I
just proved yourself to be an arrogant, closed minded cave
man who thinks gay should be put in this category.
Guess what, Mike, people are different, and what you're.

Speaker 6 (01:07:06):
Saying is that what you're saying is exactly what you do.
That's what you're You're projecting that on me.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
So you're gonna go ahead and rush over what you
just said. I save my life.

Speaker 3 (01:07:18):
I'm self loathing, f off, I've never been happy or prouder,
and for you to say that isn't so beyond insult.
I wish you would know that, or at least figure
it out if you're intellectually honest enough to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:07:31):
Which you're not. Can we have a question from the
from the from the students, because I'm trying to learn here.
I'm making notes, Mike, when you said that somebody needs
to step up? And were you using your own advice
as your counter argument to Greg with m right, I'm
just making notes? Is that? Is that? How it's so
like if somebody says something that I find offensive or

(01:07:53):
disagree with her. I'm just m is that the.

Speaker 3 (01:07:57):
That the rant because I'm raising my voice, and that
therefore you can gaslight me into thinking I'm ranting when
I'm trying to make a point to you about opposing
viewpoints just because I'm gay and disagree with you, therefore
I'm wrong and self loathing.

Speaker 6 (01:08:15):
Well, I'm saying, though. What I'm saying is you actually
are that person that you're You're so you you really
don't see yourself, You don't view yourself that way. You
may be happy the happiest part of your life right now,
but maybe that's not filled on where you want to be.

Speaker 2 (01:08:30):
Hmmm, I'm not following. I would like to I'd like
to re butt with what.

Speaker 4 (01:08:37):
You speak, Mike, Mike saying you went from you went
from a zero to it too, but you can yeah,
you're really you're.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
Yeah, okay, well.

Speaker 3 (01:08:48):
Killer, And if you could email me a copy of
your psychology degree, that'd be awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
I just got it again. Six six one is texting
in I fully agree with everything Mike says. You're all
afraid of Woody and strongly pander to straight right wing men.
Greg and I always text opposition and you never read them.
You just agree with him. Yeah, and I'm reading it

(01:09:31):
and there's one yeah, one ye. Anything else is uh
is an idiot? Where to go Greg? Uh, we're getting
a sample of Greg's imagery replies right now. I love it.
That was very much Yeah, all right. As a fan
of the show, I don't feel the need to quote
side with anybody on the show. Yeah, you can just

(01:09:52):
enjoy a conversation and there you go. So now we've
all learned how to do radio from Mike the show Killer.
Everybody nice.

Speaker 7 (01:10:01):
He has a new nickname called Mike the gas Lighter.

Speaker 5 (01:10:07):
Great, we're going to need new song.

Speaker 2 (01:10:12):
Exactly. He's just offend you and then just closs over it.
And yeah, you're right, you should.

Speaker 1 (01:10:20):
Have one mindset ad at all.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
How can you have another opinion? If you're all right?
That's pretty good? Get anything else you'd like to say?
You miss this, right?

Speaker 6 (01:10:33):
I love you most of you. I love most of you.

Speaker 2 (01:10:35):
Okay, I find you very entertaining, like the show killer.
And we can use Mike because he is a good
sport about you know, completely just trashing him. Uh, but
it is it is super true that all the advice
that you get is is basically just how to pander
to people. That's what that's that's all this is is

(01:10:56):
how to pander to people. No, not you, just well
in this particular case, yes, people like you. Yeah, but
like you know, like the you know, the managers and
the mucky MUCKs and stuff. It's just every conversation is
how do we suck up? How do we pander? And
it's it's so boring, and so I wonder like, how
are we even still here?

Speaker 1 (01:11:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:11:15):
If that's the case, and yet it works? What do
you know? Well, we've been how many times you've been
fired since we've been on the air? Mic? Alright, mics show,
Killer Everybody Crazy, Woody Show. It is the Woodie Show,
and we are into another new hour of The Woodie Show.

(01:11:38):
Insensitivity trending for a politically correct world.

Speaker 1 (01:11:41):
My name is whatdy?

Speaker 2 (01:11:42):
That is Ravy? Hello Greg Gored? Oh yeah boy, we've
got the menace. Hey, everybody see mass fake news? Don
Cameron boy taking your calls one eight hundred seven eight
to two seven nine eight seven seven eight two seven
nine eight seven. So there was a an alien convention

(01:12:03):
as if there's a group of weirdos, Sea Bass will
be there all right, Yeah, So I saw this alien
Alien Con. Alien Con.

Speaker 4 (01:12:09):
They have a couple of different locations around the country
where they do it, and so like, oh, a bunch
of weirdos could be some fun audio brought up in
the office. We were saying, oh, what can we do
down there? Yea, and Menace out of the blue says
I got it. Yeah, and I and I pitched an idea.

Speaker 2 (01:12:23):
Yeah. So then Menace went through with his idea, Sea
Bass went through with his ideas.

Speaker 4 (01:12:27):
I said, you know what medis. That's a good idea,
but maybe it's a backup just in case.

Speaker 2 (01:12:32):
So we're going to have Menaces take on alien Con
and then Sea Basses take on alien Con. We'll get
to Menaces here first, but Sea Bass and the next
segment's going to happen out of this world guessing game.

Speaker 4 (01:12:43):
Oh cool, it's a fun, fun guessing game, kind of
like a crappy house Hunters and Choice.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Now, the person who's most into UFOs alien stuff like
that on the show would be our production guy Bored. Yeah,
he's a believer. Yeah, Bored. Did you go down to
Alien Con? Are you there?

Speaker 1 (01:13:01):
I went with Menace?

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
Yeah, you were there with Menace Okayucky, Now, did you
go into the actual convention and check it out?

Speaker 12 (01:13:08):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:13:09):
Less?

Speaker 2 (01:13:09):
Oh yeah, okay, it wasn't cheap either. One day passes
were like sixty five bucks. Oh really?

Speaker 4 (01:13:14):
And oh and one of the highlights in there, well,
the highlights are autograph sessions with people like the guy
who hosts Ancient Aliens okay, with the Big Hairy and
William Shatner. Was there a photograph with that dick?

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Yeah, set you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:28):
Back a cool one dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:13:31):
Alien guys like fifty for his photo.

Speaker 7 (01:13:34):
Yeah, that thing is on all the time Ancient Aliens there.
I didn't see him, oh week, he would have made
a ton of money.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
And imagine the merch is pretty ridiculous. Yeah, yeah, I'll
get auto. I'll get into some of that with my audio.
Yeah yeah, okay, so Menace was down there. Now, Greg,
you do a really good job of describing things. So yeah,
take a look at the at the picture of Menace
and describe to the audience. Now we are going to
have the uh the video for you at the Wood
Show on Instagram, at the What's Show on Instagram. Now

(01:14:03):
he calls himself Dildar, and the reason he calls himself dildars,
because he has two dildos.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
Where would be green?

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
That's the idea that I pitched. I'm like, let's go
down there.

Speaker 3 (01:14:16):
And it was such a funny pitch too, because you
kind of just shrugged your shoulders and you're like, d's
on my head? Yeah, you're wearing a gold chest plate,
a purple cape. You have big green rubber gloves on
your face is painted something with green.

Speaker 6 (01:14:33):
What is that?

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
That's actual like costume makeups, makeup? Yeah, that I went
to the Halloween storm. But you have like rose colored sunglasses.
The helmet is embellished with the dildos and some sort
of bizarre like chain fence. Yeah those are lights.

Speaker 7 (01:14:49):
Those lights, Yeah, I can't really see them that well
in daytime. And then you're wearing everyday shoes, but they
happen to be a bright green and you look hilarious.
The chest plate looks like something out of Gladiator. And
he had a voice to go with it too. Yeah,
plus yeah, thank you? And do you know what all
that stuff to look that terrible two and seventy dollars?

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
Oh my god?

Speaker 1 (01:15:10):
What green?

Speaker 2 (01:15:11):
Dill Dodd.

Speaker 7 (01:15:13):
And then the helmet was just funny because I ran
into our coworker Rich at Target buying some weird items.
I had a helmet, some glue, rubber gloves, and he's like,
what are you doing here?

Speaker 2 (01:15:25):
We're going on a special project. Did you let.

Speaker 1 (01:15:28):
Spicy Nacho keep the two dil dos?

Speaker 2 (01:15:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (01:15:31):
Well, actually, as a surprise, because Greg loved it so much,
I brought the dildo helmet.

Speaker 2 (01:15:37):
It's here. Oh wow, Yeah, that's what I want to do.

Speaker 4 (01:15:40):
As awesome as this dildo helmet looks. Our first question
in the office was okay, so dildo he hammet, funny visual?
How wout that work on the radio?

Speaker 2 (01:15:48):
Yeah? Oh, I didn't see the lights in the video. Yeah,
because those day times didn't work that long.

Speaker 8 (01:15:56):
And then when he shakes his head looking like yeah,
and if you wear it because your headphones don't go yeah, okay.

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
Exact, Yeah, the minutes you gotta wear for the segment. Yeah,
there you go as you walk us through the audio.

Speaker 7 (01:16:09):
Okay, So, so here is here is the alien dull
dar The first first clip by walking up on this
lady who's probably in her seventies and she looks like,
I don't know she alien from Marty Grass.

Speaker 2 (01:16:24):
Okay, and I like how again? I like how Menace
even developed a voice for Jill dar Bill dar Well,
it's kind of awkward to see my ex girlfriend here.
I didn't know you were going to be here. Do
you think it's weird? It is, yeah, a little weird.
So where are you living now?

Speaker 5 (01:16:41):
In Atlanta?

Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
Atlanta? Very nice, very nice alien. I now live in
zol Car. Yeah, it's very far. You know, we get
keep in touch to text.

Speaker 1 (01:17:03):
We could not.

Speaker 12 (01:17:06):
Or not.

Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
Are the alien?

Speaker 2 (01:17:17):
If you want to see medicine is full, get up
you havea yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:17:21):
And then so I ran into this other guy, and
you know, my question is, okay, if there's aliens everywhere, yeah,
why is the government keeping it secret? So I asked
the shellman here, why do you think the government is
trying to hide my existence?

Speaker 12 (01:17:39):
Because if they know how you got to this planet,
that would require a fuel source that is renewable technology
that could revolutionize our role and the power structures that
be those that hold petroleum and oil interest, they would
no longer be needed. They would crash our whole economy.

Speaker 2 (01:17:57):
So it's about money. Do you know where I escape from?

Speaker 18 (01:18:01):
No?

Speaker 2 (01:18:02):
Area sixty nine five? I'm saying boy out here, Yeah,
I thought you were gonna say uranus.

Speaker 7 (01:18:17):
No, I purposely did not do your anus jokes because
I thought it'd be too predictable.

Speaker 12 (01:18:22):
So I.

Speaker 2 (01:18:25):
Used that joke. Yeah, yeah, for sure. You know what's
funny though, because I can't even look at you people
out of red that it was funny because uh, Bort
and I we parked in the wrong area. We parked
where the BET Awards were.

Speaker 21 (01:18:39):
And then so we're getting ready, no alien people around,
it's just people going to the B Awards, Like what
are these people doing?

Speaker 7 (01:18:50):
And then I have like, like, but it was funny.
When we're recording this, no one would stop, but people
are running into the convention thinking it was the BT Awards.

Speaker 2 (01:19:00):
So yeah, but I stopped that guy while it's Dildar
the Alien. Yes, manage stressed up in his dildo alien costume.
But you can see a picture of it right now
at the Woody Show on Instagram.

Speaker 7 (01:19:11):
Yes, here's another person that I talked to and he
had a service dog with him and he was just
like a little burnout guy.

Speaker 2 (01:19:17):
We had a quick conversation. I feel like we should
dock and probe.

Speaker 16 (01:19:24):
That's not really uh well, my cup of tea to say,
but you can find probably someone here that's down for
that for some docking, so it was.

Speaker 2 (01:19:34):
More a visual.

Speaker 7 (01:19:34):
But he had his dog with him and I said,
have you probed with this young shape shifter here? And
we should doc and probe and he said no, he said,
but he've seen be pro before.

Speaker 4 (01:19:54):
You see, because like you could dock in a space station,
you can also dock like you know two guys.

Speaker 7 (01:19:58):
Yeah, yes, so yeah, if you want to see the
video all on our Instagram right now at the Woody
Show on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:20:06):
Now, what would you do if you came home and
all of a sudden, spicy Natcha was sitting on your helmet?
But should be in trouble? Yeah, because that's only for
entertainment purposes and it's a gateway. Yeah, yeah, definitely. And
then I'm just have to get bigger and bigger antenna,
that's right, Yeah, yeah for real? Is it weird? The

(01:20:27):
balls are super small in those things, almost non existent? Yeah,
realistic though for an alien. Yeah, that's how they are.

Speaker 1 (01:20:35):
All build ar Bill.

Speaker 2 (01:20:39):
If you want to see the video, you want to
see the photo we have before you on our Instagram
at the Woody Show on Instagram. Car Ain't no party.
Look at woodis show party, but it would show party
does stop occasionally. Few major that great bag and sit

(01:21:02):
on those backs, slick side bag. He just finds a
way to get the bag in the hole. This is
the Woody Show, are you guys? It is the WOODI Show.
Now I mentioned that I had a surprise for you today.

(01:21:22):
What would you say about an encore performance from our
friend Randy? Okay, Randy Oki, hell to the Yes, give
me all the Randy you've got here? He is, Hey Randy,
good morning guys. I'm glad, I'm glad I can be
the surprise. Yeah, it's very nice. It's it's Randy, ok everybody. Now,

(01:21:46):
last time he came in singing a song of sea
basses choosing and it was extremes more than words, which
Randy had never heard before. Yeah, he had never heard it.
But that was the what will Randy do from money
for the one? And he had to do a song
live on the air, but he killed it and people
loved it so much that now Randy is back. Maybe

(01:22:09):
a little too over confident at this point. No, when
you sing, the panties just get ripped right off. They
melt like when you put like when you put cotton
candy in your mouth melting. Yeah. Gone, So ladies, try
to contain yourself. Try it well, Try not to slide
off your seat now, h Randy? Yeah, who picked the song?

(01:22:33):
I didn't really?

Speaker 5 (01:22:34):
Okay?

Speaker 12 (01:22:35):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
And the I won't just I won't spoil it just yet.
I want to know why you picked this song? Oh?
You asked, so I was.

Speaker 9 (01:22:42):
I was watching TV one day. It's sort of a
rabbit hole. I saw commercial with the band Rat on TV,
and I don't know why. You know, round and round
popped into my head. I was like, okay, you look
at brat some Rat song on YouTube. One led to
the other led me to Whitesnake, which eventually led me
to this song and this band, and I was.

Speaker 2 (01:22:59):
One because I know what the song is. I was
wondering how you even knew this song? Like, I know
this song. I think it's a great song before finding
it on the internet.

Speaker 1 (01:23:07):
Did you know the song?

Speaker 6 (01:23:08):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:23:08):
I did not learn, but it took like one one
listened to and I was hooked. I don't know why.
I don't know why I like this song so much.
Because you're a romantic that's why. Maybe it's a romantic
song kind of you'll know it, Okay, I'll know hair
more than anything. Yeah, all right, So radi Oki, what
song did you choose to go with?

Speaker 9 (01:23:25):
So today I'm singing Firehouse Love of a Lifetime. Really,
I don't know from the time you were hooked on it, dude,
I do not. I don't know why I love this
song so much.

Speaker 6 (01:23:38):
I just do.

Speaker 2 (01:23:39):
This song was a banger back in the day. You
don't have to have a reason. Just love it. I
just love it. It's what they call a power ballad.
Band is called Firehouse, Yes, not Firehouse. Yeah. The name
of the band is Firehouse. Name of the song is
Love of a Lifetime. Well, I know the song. I
want to hear it, you know, you know, other than anything,
y'all know what? What's the best?

Speaker 4 (01:23:58):
Were you at any weddings in nineteen eighty nine, but
all the.

Speaker 9 (01:24:01):
Comments pretty much said said that like, oh, this is
my my my first song at my wedding, or this
is dedicated to my wife or whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
I'll give you. I'll give you, guys a little taste
Love of a Lifetime and then you can see if
you know it. Well, I gotta bring it up here.

Speaker 22 (01:24:17):
All this wouldn't be easy to sing sounds like karaoke
guns n' roses.

Speaker 2 (01:24:35):
Song was a banger, dude, all right, so you ready
to give it a shot? Here, Randy, let's do it, guys,
All do it Randy? OK, Firehouse, Love of a lifetime
nice all bare, Yeah, Craig, try not to fall in love, Randy,

(01:25:00):
you may fall in love even more. I guess the.

Speaker 16 (01:25:09):
Time was right for us to say, we take our
time and live our lives together. The day by day,
we'll make a wish and send it.

Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
On a prayer. We know our dreams will all come
to with love that we can share with you. A
never under? Will you be there for me?

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
With you an never under?

Speaker 2 (01:25:54):
You're the right one, firs me.

Speaker 16 (01:26:00):
I finally found love of a lifetime, Renny, I love
to last.

Speaker 1 (01:26:09):
My last.

Speaker 2 (01:26:14):
Ready spooms are out.

Speaker 6 (01:26:15):
Yeah.

Speaker 16 (01:26:16):
I foundly found love of the lifetime.

Speaker 1 (01:26:23):
Forever in my house.

Speaker 2 (01:26:27):
I foundly found love.

Speaker 16 (01:26:31):
Of a lifetime. Day on the furth with it, which
is our love is like brand new and every star
up in this sky was made for me. And still

(01:26:55):
we both know.

Speaker 2 (01:26:56):
That the road is love. We know that we will
be took because I love it.

Speaker 16 (01:27:10):
Really feeling outly found love of a blood time.

Speaker 1 (01:27:18):
Come on, Randy, love to less my.

Speaker 16 (01:27:23):
Life A frownly found the love of a lifetime.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
Forever in my house.

Speaker 16 (01:27:39):
I found found love of blood.

Speaker 2 (01:27:43):
Time, Randy. Somebody said, if you replace the word love
with lunch, it makes it up.

Speaker 1 (01:27:56):
Replace love with lunch.

Speaker 10 (01:27:59):
Thank you.

Speaker 16 (01:27:59):
Texter found found lone shoven lifetime.

Speaker 1 (01:28:10):
That's better a lunchless.

Speaker 5 (01:28:15):
Lad.

Speaker 16 (01:28:20):
A family found lone shovel lad shie.

Speaker 2 (01:28:27):
Forever in my house.

Speaker 16 (01:28:31):
I found found lone shoven lead tie yen.

Speaker 2 (01:28:42):
Shown shove a lot because I had to have like
a big colo found. I think you're really because I
had to have like the big you know, rock finish
and just can end.

Speaker 5 (01:29:00):
Yeah, we lunch of a lifetime.

Speaker 2 (01:29:04):
Nice job, Randy. Yeah, the falsettos or or something else
I got. I gotta hit that note one way or another.
But Texas says, this takes you back to the just
say No dances and that's good stuff. Well, Randy, everybody,

(01:29:24):
I had a little gas dribble.

Speaker 5 (01:29:26):
It was spark fantasy.

Speaker 1 (01:29:28):
It's the show.

Speaker 2 (01:29:30):
Yet another epic Greg Gory story. I don't know how
this happens to one guy. I know where there's all
these like amazing shareable stories that he forgets every time
to tell us.

Speaker 3 (01:29:42):
Yeah, most of the time, way later, But this one
I cannot. I can't believe I forgot to share this
with you.

Speaker 2 (01:29:49):
So to set it up, Greg is getting solar put
on his house, right, Okay, So there's some contractors over
at the house doing some work, being a main panel
upgrade as part of the insulation for the solar, and
so Greg comes home. And Greg is one of these
guys who refuses to duty at work. Oh I'm not

(01:30:10):
a crazy psychopath. Yeah, So Greg will wait, yeah, yeah
until it He'll keep all day until he gets home.
So i'd imagine like by the time you get home,
you're ready to Oh yeah, that's the first thing I do.
Put the keys down, go straight to the bathroom, Ryan.
So Greg arrives at the house, goes in to do
his business, right, and I use the master bathroom, which

(01:30:30):
is at that one end of the house. And the
bathroom does have a window, and we obviously have blinds
in the window. They're obviously closed. We wouldn't know what
this house looks like. We have not been invited.

Speaker 3 (01:30:39):
You will be there soon enough once the solar's installed.
I was waiting for the solar.

Speaker 2 (01:30:43):
That'll make it. I wanted to guess. I wanted you
to see how green I am.

Speaker 3 (01:30:47):
So So I'm doing my afternoon business in the in
the turlet, and the two electricians are already there working
on the panel. They had gone through the back gate
and they're doing their job, and they had their truck
and their equipment and everything in the driveway. So I
parked out in the street. And they had no idea
that I had even come home for the day. They

(01:31:08):
had no clue I was home at all. So they're
playing their music, they're doing their loud work and all.
And while I'm in the bathroom doing my thing, I
hear one of the workers right outside my window of
the bathroom and I thought, well, that's weird. The panels
on the complete opposite side. So then I hear this
guy yell out to his co worker, listen, call him Joe, Joe,

(01:31:30):
give me the toilet paper. I thought, what it was
an electrician need with toilet paper, and maybe they're wiping
up paint or something.

Speaker 14 (01:31:37):
What.

Speaker 3 (01:31:37):
No, So I take a little peek out the blinds.
He has taken the pooper scooper that I used to
pick up dog poop.

Speaker 2 (01:31:45):
M M and he himself is pooping into it.

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
In the sideyard. It's Joe, give me the toilet paper.

Speaker 3 (01:31:56):
So I peeked through the window and he's like, no,
I thank god because it was slightly at an angle.

Speaker 2 (01:32:07):
I didn't see any of the act. I saw his
legs in the squatting.

Speaker 1 (01:32:10):
Position, and then he so, you see the poop coming out?

Speaker 2 (01:32:14):
No, I saw no butt. I saw no sexual poop.
You didn't know that he had pooped into the pooper
scooper until you want to go use the pooper scooper? No,
what do you do with it?

Speaker 3 (01:32:24):
It gets better because I heard the other electrician laughing
so hard because he went around the corner to hand
the other guy the toilet paper, and he's laughing so hard.
He's like, dude, why don't you just go to like
a store or a restaurant. He's like, nah, just do
it right here.

Speaker 2 (01:32:39):
And then I went.

Speaker 3 (01:32:40):
I ran out of the bathroom, ran to the kitchen,
peeked through the blinds there, and I see the guy
with the pooper scooper trying to dump it into the
trash and he's going, he's going, And then.

Speaker 2 (01:32:52):
He even said he's dry open and.

Speaker 3 (01:32:56):
He even said don't you think it's funny how you
could pick up dog poop, But when you're dealing with
your own, it's disgusting. So then I thought, Okay, how
long do I wait to go outside to let them
know I'm home? So I work up the courage to
finally go to in situation? Yeah, how long do you
wait posty taka in yard?

Speaker 16 (01:33:14):
How what do you do?

Speaker 2 (01:33:15):
Do you just play it off like you don't know?

Speaker 3 (01:33:17):
I wasn't sure what to do, so of course I'm
pacing back and forth, thinking like, do I go now
let them know that, Hey, guys, I know you just
took a dump in my yard. So I finally work
up the courage. I think, Okay, now's the time to
go out and tell him I'm here. That's when the
non pooping electrician cell phone rings and he answers it

(01:33:38):
and screams this epic rant that I've never heard the
likes of in my life.

Speaker 2 (01:33:45):
What what are you doing calling me? Listen here? You
mother effort? I told you bleeping never to bath you.
What are you doing?

Speaker 9 (01:34:02):
Said?

Speaker 3 (01:34:05):
I don't know if it was a telemarketer or maybe
it was the irs, but he was calling this person wow,
a mouth party giver a mother effort. So then I'm like, okay,
guy one, just when Kaka in my yard, Guy too
is just losing it had an aneurysm.

Speaker 2 (01:34:24):
Script. So now I gotta walk around the house waiting
to let them know I'm home.

Speaker 3 (01:34:30):
Meanwhile, I gotta take the dog for a walk, and
she's pacing back and forth. I'm like, great, I gotta
take my dog for a walk. I need to let
these my stooping psychos know that I'm home.

Speaker 1 (01:34:40):
So you never confronted them about the pooping.

Speaker 2 (01:34:42):
I finally knew. I so you I did not. Right
now as we sit here, you have human duty in
your garbage cans.

Speaker 3 (01:34:50):
Uh, thank god. Yesterday was trash day and it's now gone.
But he did put it in the trash, just like.

Speaker 2 (01:34:58):
Wrang right in the trash like not in a bad
and then tied up.

Speaker 3 (01:35:01):
I didn't see ah, No, it was filled with all
the old electrical stuff like you know, wires and the
old handle rap.

Speaker 2 (01:35:12):
But what was the final conversation when you saw them
face the face? How long did that take? I just
realized pooping Guy's hand, That's what I just realized. Hey,
thanks guys.

Speaker 3 (01:35:24):
I went out there and I said, hey, I'm Greg,
I'm the owner here. Oh hey, I'm a Joe, And
I'm like, oh god, I.

Speaker 2 (01:35:31):
Just shook his hand. Yeah yeah, oh my god.

Speaker 5 (01:35:40):
The contact with human fecal manners.

Speaker 3 (01:35:42):
Once they knew I was home, shockingly, no pooping, no peeing,
no screaming.

Speaker 2 (01:35:46):
It was quite the day.

Speaker 4 (01:35:49):
I got a question about technique.

Speaker 2 (01:35:51):
So you have like a.

Speaker 4 (01:35:54):
This is sort of like a trash sweeper bin.

Speaker 3 (01:35:56):
Yeah, you know, it has a handle right that you
you know, and then you can either put it on
the ground and sweep leaves into it or you can So.

Speaker 4 (01:36:02):
He had that sort of sitting upright and drop. Yeah,
it does sit up right on it washed off?

Speaker 6 (01:36:08):
Is it?

Speaker 5 (01:36:09):
How did you not throw that away?

Speaker 2 (01:36:11):
I think I will.

Speaker 3 (01:36:13):
I guess I'm in the market for a new pooper
scooper now. At least he used it for what it's
literally meant for.

Speaker 5 (01:36:19):
I mean, yes, he scooped his poop, but it was
human poop.

Speaker 2 (01:36:21):
Yeah, that's directly into it.

Speaker 4 (01:36:23):
That's foul and obviously pre planned because he had toilet
paper on Tony.

Speaker 2 (01:36:28):
That's right, Like, if if I have to go, i'll go,
but it's going to be in a restroom. I'm not.
I don't think.

Speaker 3 (01:36:33):
I don't think I'll be able to do it outside.
The guy even said, hey, why didn't you go to
like Starbucks or something?

Speaker 2 (01:36:38):
This is what I does on the rag if he
has the toilet paper, it was. It was surreal. You're
not the first victim, Greg, Wow, probably not many. Isn't
that weird?

Speaker 4 (01:36:50):
How does he not pee when he poops too?

Speaker 2 (01:36:51):
That would I would? I was thinking, that's my pants
languages the Woody Show. So Juliane's got this question. She
needs the Woody Show jury, in other words, your help
to help figure out this situation. Now nine on nine
is texting over. I am one hundred percent on Julianne's side.

(01:37:12):
I don't even need to hear the story. She is
such a sweetheart, always so nice. If she was wronged,
it wasn't warranted. Huh, thank you, followed by this Southern text,
So what strip clubs? Julianne waiting tables.

Speaker 5 (01:37:25):
Hey, I used to bartend at a strip club.

Speaker 1 (01:37:28):
Yeah, bartend, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, I mean
bank would.

Speaker 2 (01:37:32):
You bartend like topless at the strip place?

Speaker 12 (01:37:35):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:37:35):
No, no, no no?

Speaker 5 (01:37:36):
And we served sushi there.

Speaker 2 (01:37:38):
Oh go, that's the place. I would never getshi.

Speaker 18 (01:37:42):
You know what.

Speaker 5 (01:37:42):
People would come in and face just the bar, eat
and then leap because they like the sushi is so much.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
Yeah, all right, So I Julianne was at her her
host or not hostess, her her waitress job. Yeah, yesterday,
and something happened.

Speaker 5 (01:37:58):
Okay, So I had a party of four and they
me around like crazy. At the very end, I got
them all their change, and then they came in at
twelve thirty. Around four thirty, they called back and said, oh,
I left the server ten dollars and I didn't mean to.
I didn't realize I put a ten dollars bill in there.

(01:38:19):
I need my change back. So the managers came up
to me and told me, and I was upset because
how many hours later did you just finally realize this?
And when I dropped the change, I gave them four
dollars in change, so that means they had to go
back into their wallet and pull out the correct ten
dollars bill. Right, So the manager asked me, hey, did
Table twenty leave you a ten dollar bill? I said yeah.
They said, well, they gave you too much and they

(01:38:40):
want their their change back.

Speaker 2 (01:38:42):
Does that kidding me?

Speaker 5 (01:38:44):
I said, well, how much money did they want back?
Nine dollars? Oh, so they wanted to leave me a
dollar tip?

Speaker 2 (01:38:52):
Yeah? What was the check? How much give?

Speaker 5 (01:38:54):
Well there was four of them and they all split it.
But this person's check was about almost I think maybe
like fifteen eighteen dollars. Okay, maybe, so each person left
you a tip.

Speaker 8 (01:39:07):
The ten dollars wasn't collectively from the table, right, No, no, so,
but not everybody left me.

Speaker 2 (01:39:13):
A tip, okay, So the total tip they meant was
one dollar? Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:39:18):
Yeah, So I wasn't really irritated at the fact that
they wanted their money back. It was how it was handled,
how they decided to call back hours later, and then
finally realized that, oh my gosh, I gave her ten dollars.
I meant to give her one dollar. You couldn't realize
it right then at the table when I handed you
four one dollar bills.

Speaker 2 (01:39:39):
So collectively, let's say, if everybody's bill was roughly, you know,
twenty dollars. Okay, so that's eight dollars, right, that should
have been a sixteen dollar tip. If I'm tipping, I
tipped twenty percent, so that should have been easily a
sixteen dollar tip. So they're bitching that it was ten dollars.
They wanted nine dollars of that bag. Yeah, see that's.

Speaker 4 (01:39:58):
Weak, and I want to know, like, who's the person
who later? Yeah, four year old, you have to chuck
that up to well screw there. Yeah, I guess I
made somebody happy, right, And so the what also got.

Speaker 5 (01:40:10):
Me upset was that the managers at the company I
work for made me give it back. I think that
they should have offered them maybe a gift card of
some sort, not pull from my wallet now, because now
that's mine. It's been with me for how many hours?
So what if I was to leave they were gonna
call me back?

Speaker 2 (01:40:27):
Would be their responsibility to make up for that?

Speaker 6 (01:40:29):
Then?

Speaker 2 (01:40:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:40:30):
Well why would it be mine because.

Speaker 2 (01:40:34):
They gave the money to you? Yeah, or they want
the money back that they gave to you.

Speaker 10 (01:40:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:40:38):
But one of the managers on duty said, hey, you know,
next time, if you want your you want your lunch,
I'll comp your lunch, which was nice. He didn't have
to do that.

Speaker 2 (01:40:47):
It's ten dollars. We're not talking about fifty bucks, right, No.

Speaker 12 (01:40:50):
I know.

Speaker 2 (01:40:51):
Tony the whipping boy who used to be a manager
at a at a restaurant says it sucks, but you
have to give it back. Yeah, so I guess I
don't know. Yeah, there's like a is there a law
of some kind of like that's technically still the customer's money,
even though they gave that money to somebody as a tip, Like,
at what point does it become the property right? And

(01:41:11):
then it becomes up to in this case Julianne, Like.

Speaker 3 (01:41:14):
Let's say you valet park your car, you give them
a five, and then you go home and you're like, oh,
I meant to give you a one, you give me
four dollars back, and you do.

Speaker 2 (01:41:21):
It hours later.

Speaker 5 (01:41:22):
Yeah, that doesn't seem right.

Speaker 3 (01:41:24):
No, and I think you're doing a good job with
your detective work. You gave them four one dollar bills,
which meant they had to take those four dollars bills,
put them into their wallet, take out a ten. Why
didn't they just if they meant to leave you one,
just take one of the four exactly?

Speaker 2 (01:41:39):
Yeah, something that's shady.

Speaker 5 (01:41:41):
Yeah, and you know, I'm honest. My manager asked me, hey,
did they give you a Tennis said, yes, I could
have lied.

Speaker 2 (01:41:46):
I could have old. I guess we get a lot
of people asking how old the customers were.

Speaker 4 (01:41:50):
They were old.

Speaker 5 (01:41:51):
They were older, so and that's fine because they.

Speaker 2 (01:41:54):
It's like everybody being over dramatic over ten dollars insides.

Speaker 5 (01:41:59):
No, I know, and then not. That's what I went home.
I told my husband. I said, I understand it was
ten dollars, big whoop, but it was how it was
handled that bothered me. So did they actually come back
and they were supposed to come back today and go
get it the next day.

Speaker 2 (01:42:12):
Oh, if you are sweating nine dollars, shouldn't be going
out to eat. Yeah, you should never leave the house
to go eat somewhere, like if it's that big of
a deal.

Speaker 1 (01:42:23):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 (01:42:23):
If your senior group is going to lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:42:25):
If you cannot afford to tip at least fifteen percent
on service on top of the bill that you're going
to ring up, you should not go out to eat
and then drive back somewhere next day.

Speaker 4 (01:42:36):
It's gotta be a person without a job, because otherwise
you have to see the calculation get paid.

Speaker 1 (01:42:40):
Well, they were old, so they're seniors.

Speaker 5 (01:42:42):
Yeah, there's the seniors.

Speaker 8 (01:42:43):
Yeah, our seniors in general notoriously crappy tippers. Yes, yeah, yeah,
my mother is she's a terrible tipper.

Speaker 2 (01:42:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:42:50):
I always have to.

Speaker 5 (01:42:51):
Tip on top of whatever she's going to tip because
I'm embarrassed. Well, and some people think that tipping during
the day is different than tipping at night. I had
a lady's say, yeah, is it still lunchtime? I said, yeah,
she goes okay, and then then she decided how much
she was gonna tip me.

Speaker 2 (01:43:04):
Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (01:43:05):
Yeah, I'm like, you're you're joking right, because they think, well,
twenty is different than twenty percent.

Speaker 8 (01:43:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:43:12):
Yeah, I waited tables back in the day. It sucked.
Old people were cheap. Teenagers sucked. They all came in,
they ordered cheese, fries and soda and they split the fries. Yeah,
and then yeah, they never tipped. Yeah, waiting tables sucked.
Never never again. I think I'd rather starve. Well, I'm
gonna have to wait tables.

Speaker 4 (01:43:30):
I can kind of see the lunch thing because you're
not you know, even if your the money's the same,
you're probably not spendings much time during lunch.

Speaker 2 (01:43:35):
Maybe that's not true, maybe maybe, yeah, but the bill
is going to be lower at lunch because they have
like maybe a lunch special. So you still have to
tip fifteen percent on whatever the lunch price, Like, you
don't have to pay. You don't have to tip based
on what the dinner price would have been. I agree
that'd be different, all right. So who side are you on,
Julianne or the customers? Just text one or the other
over to two two nine eight seven. So Julianne or

(01:43:58):
customer over to two to on eighty seven. The Woody
Show jury will speak after the break. But some people
uh texting over here. I would wipe my ass that
ten dollars bill and left it for him.

Speaker 1 (01:44:08):
It leaves the DNA on it.

Speaker 2 (01:44:09):
Yeah, some people have. Here's one. Julianne didn't get a
good tip. I'll give her my tip, says the send
her a picture that would make.

Speaker 5 (01:44:19):
Her so lucky.

Speaker 1 (01:44:21):
Right to get your tip.

Speaker 2 (01:44:24):
The Woody Show, The Woody Show. No one should have
to hear this show.

Speaker 23 (01:44:36):
Everyone listening turned to another radio station immediately.

Speaker 2 (01:44:42):
So we told you the story before the break. Julianne
waits tables for her second job, and she had a
table yesterday for old timers, and after they left, she
got a ten dollars tip from one of them. She said,
not all of them tipped so they all had a
bill about eighteen nineteen dollars each, so let's just call
it eighty bucks for the table and then so you know,

(01:45:02):
based on twenty percent, that should have been like a
sixteen dollars tip, which I don't know how it's so
difficult for some people to figure out the tips. A
lot of the times the tips or the suggested tip
is right there at the bottom of the receipt, So
attack you. I hate that.

Speaker 3 (01:45:16):
Why it's so tacky because it, to me implies, Hey,
as the customer, we don't think you know how to
figure out twenty percent.

Speaker 2 (01:45:24):
Most of my dumbs seven years old. I can't tell
you how many time you get easy for people. I
can't tell you how many times I've been at a
restaurant where like, the person's trying to figure out the
tip and they're a smart person, They're they're not dumb.
It's so difficult for some people to figure out what
twenty percent of an amount is, and when it's really
the easiest thing. It's literally just moving a decimal point

(01:45:44):
over and then doubling that. Right, that's it. That's that
they have. They have little tip cards and their wallet.
They're breaking out their phones to use a calculaum. I'm like, really, dude,
I know sixteen bucks. Look, there's certain things you like,
certain movies or certain TV shows. You don't really know
why you just do. I just think it's super tacky money.
Like when they when you've give him the money and
they say, do you need change? Yeah, bring the change

(01:46:06):
and I'll figure out the tip. Just don't ask.

Speaker 4 (01:46:08):
I would agree with Greg and the second one especially.

Speaker 2 (01:46:10):
Yeah do you need change?

Speaker 5 (01:46:12):
I don't ever say that. I say, I'll be right
back with your change.

Speaker 2 (01:46:15):
So they left a ten dollars bill. Did anybody else
leave a tip?

Speaker 5 (01:46:19):
Yes, one person left five dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:46:21):
Okay, one person left five bucks. Still, you know that's
that's not a bad tip.

Speaker 1 (01:46:27):
No, probably not much.

Speaker 2 (01:46:28):
Yeah, if they had an eighteen dollar bill, that's not bad. Yeah,
that's good. That's good.

Speaker 5 (01:46:33):
I didn't mind the tipping thing. It was more of
how the situation was handled.

Speaker 2 (01:46:37):
So the guy who left the ten dollars calls back
hours later, saying that he didn't mean to give ten bucks,
that he wanted to get his money back. They said, well,
how much money would you like back? And he said
nine dollars. So I'm gonna leave one dollar the most
possible without taking the whole thing. Yeah right, so.

Speaker 1 (01:46:54):
Show jury, whose side are you on? Five?

Speaker 2 (01:46:57):
Six two, saying I still need to hear the other
side of the story. Julianne could have been a terrible server.
I was, and that's why they wanted their nine dollars back.
Probably could be. Uh, why do you have to tip
people anyway? I don't get tipped from my job. If
you're a waitress, you get you get paid to bring food.
If you're the pizza man, it's your job to deliver.

Speaker 4 (01:47:16):
Not how the price structure works.

Speaker 2 (01:47:18):
Nine to five one. The tipping laws are screwed up.
I had an eighty dollars automatic gratuity on a party
tip lost because the customer crossed out the gratuity in
the check and wrote a five instead. Nothing I could
do completely legal? Oh no, really? Yeah, you can force
someone well part of what eight or more? They usually
do it automatic tip, right, but you don't have to.

Speaker 4 (01:47:40):
Didn't start a contract.

Speaker 5 (01:47:42):
And if the person doesn't sign the receipt but tips
but doesn't sign, you don't get that either.

Speaker 2 (01:47:48):
Yeah, So whose side are you on? I'm on Julianne's side.
Do you rave. Oh yeah, definitely Julianne side, Greg, julian menace. Uh,
I can't pick a side on this one.

Speaker 7 (01:47:58):
Why Jay, because Okay, I think the customer is is
it's hilarious that they want the nine dollars back, but
like hilariously sad, yeah, and weird. But on the other side,
it's like, Okay, they want their nine dollars, Like why
are you making it such a dramatic thing like talking
to the manager, talking to your husband about it, like

(01:48:20):
it's this huge deal, how the situation was handled.

Speaker 2 (01:48:23):
Who cares? Why do you hate?

Speaker 1 (01:48:29):
I think you have a lot more.

Speaker 2 (01:48:30):
Going on in today to care about this nine dollars.
I think the point he's trying to make is as
ridiculous as it is for this old guy, yeah to
freak out about ten bucks, it's as equally ridiculous. Now
going the opposite way that Julianne's freaking out as much
as she is about freaking I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:48:47):
Just more curious on how it really should.

Speaker 2 (01:48:51):
Right, how many discussions you've had over it. But that's
what theres.

Speaker 3 (01:48:55):
I love you about us, but that's your mo o.
If you care about anything, It's like, God, why you
care so much? Like, it's the principle that julian cares
about let her thought about it again, it's not the night,
julian even said herself, it's not about the nine dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:49:12):
Again, I go back to who the hell is calling back?
You go to your hours later? I mean personally I would,
I'd be upset.

Speaker 5 (01:49:19):
Brought her called me over. They manager picked it up.

Speaker 2 (01:49:23):
Your should give you a gift card or not them
a gift card? Like what, who cares? They want their
nine dollars? Give it to him.

Speaker 4 (01:49:34):
There because dollars is minimum. Way, it's just an hour
of my time.

Speaker 2 (01:49:37):
Throw it away? Who broke living in my car? I
want to care about the nine dollars?

Speaker 4 (01:49:43):
God, nobody wants to care about anything. I am on
Julianne's side. However, I think that somewhat of a menace
take here is that you have to chalk it up
to old people being old people, right, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:49:55):
And I did.

Speaker 9 (01:49:56):
I did.

Speaker 5 (01:49:56):
But what if they weren't old? What if they were
your guys's age and they called back.

Speaker 4 (01:50:00):
And said, well what race are they? That would have
been my question. So I can hate it for that reason,
of course, But.

Speaker 5 (01:50:08):
Again, it was just how like hours and hours later,
then you like, what made them realize that?

Speaker 6 (01:50:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:50:15):
Right right?

Speaker 1 (01:50:15):
What were they at.

Speaker 2 (01:50:18):
If I only had that ten dollars.

Speaker 16 (01:50:21):
More?

Speaker 4 (01:50:22):
Big sixty six of a good suggestion, Julian just set
up a go fund me to get her nine dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:50:28):
You even make a more big deal about it. Yeah,
I for me, Let's go to Levi. Hey, good morning, Levi.
Hey what do you got for us?

Speaker 10 (01:50:38):
All right, so, you know, just revolving, you know, just
the issue here of the tip. Quite honestly, I think,
you know, if she wants to make more money, she
needs to simply get a better job. I mean, I
didn't even go to college yet, I worked my way
up from retail and you know all those you know,
all those types of jobs up to a senior loan.

(01:50:59):
I was throut thirty in States. I'm twenty four years old.
I feel like, if she wants to make more money,
she needs to go get a better job. She's not
happy with where she's at. She needs to dedicate her
time to, you know, focusing on something that would for
their advance of their career and get more money. She
shouldn't revolve.

Speaker 6 (01:51:16):
On a tip.

Speaker 2 (01:51:17):
I'll see how like one really has to do with
the other those Yeah, I agree, that's more retail to
get where you are now. Yeah, And she's just said
it's not about the money.

Speaker 6 (01:51:25):
It's not.

Speaker 5 (01:51:26):
And I work part time purposely so I can be
home with my kids.

Speaker 2 (01:51:29):
Is more your point than you shouldn't expect tips?

Speaker 10 (01:51:32):
Yeah, definitely, absolutely, Yeah. I mean it's not a standard
that you know, people go and tip you. I mean
that's just on top of everything, you know, I feel
like if they do a great service, Yeah, absolutely, I'll
more than happily, you know, give them a tip, you know,
generally fifteen twenty percent. But you know it's not you
shouldn't go into work expecting, you know, a tip, and

(01:51:54):
regarding the fact that he wants you know, they want
their money back, you know what, No, don't give them
their money back, but just for future reference, going there prepared,
you know, you're you're not going to get a tip.
I mean you should go in there expecting that you're
you're gonna work for you know, ten dollars an hour.

Speaker 2 (01:52:10):
Kind of what he's saying is my whole approach when
it comes to human beings. Rave. Yeah, like I go
into everything just expecting everybody's a douchebag. Right this way,
I can only be pleasantly surprised because to wait, you,
like my mother and other people in my life, they
go into every situation thinking that everybody is going to
be this awesome person. When they're not, then they get
sack and they're constantly disappointed in humanity, right, whereas I

(01:52:34):
just expect everything's going to suck until I'm pleasantly surprised.
So I'm and there are a lot of nice people,
so I'm pleasantly surprised on a regular basis as opposed
to constantly disappointed. He's saying, if you go in there
expecting you're not going to get any tips today, every
time you get a tip, you're gonna be psyching. Maybe
your mindset's just wrong. Yeah, you should be more like
or be more of a downer and.

Speaker 5 (01:52:55):
Just expect terrible tie, Carlos, what do you got?

Speaker 2 (01:53:00):
How are you doing good?

Speaker 12 (01:53:00):
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:53:02):
All right? Are you on?

Speaker 18 (01:53:05):
Man?

Speaker 1 (01:53:06):
People out there that can't skips the same do that?

Speaker 2 (01:53:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:53:12):
You know it's ridiculous.

Speaker 24 (01:53:13):
Yeah, people are getting cheaper if people want to talk
about hard times at hard time, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:53:18):
And waiting tables is an awful job, Yeah, it is.

Speaker 12 (01:53:22):
You know.

Speaker 2 (01:53:22):
I mean, I'm not saying like, you know, the people
who do it are awful. I'm saying like that job sucks.
I've done that job, like I mentioned, it was done
it because I know I couldn't do it. It was
one of my least favorite jobs I've ever had. And
it's just because you're constantly on your feet. People are dicks. Yeah,
and you're dealing with people in their foods, like you
never mess with the dog. Dogs are sweet, right, cute
and playful. When you never mess with the dog when

(01:53:44):
it's eating. Yeah, you know why, because that's when they
growl and get nasty and everything. People too, People are terrible.

Speaker 4 (01:53:50):
People are texting over the few.

Speaker 2 (01:53:51):
Men is a dick.

Speaker 4 (01:53:53):
If you don't know, here's a good suggestion. I didn't
take the safe fruit if menace, If Menace doesn't care
what the nine dollars wasn't he give it to Julianne
nine dollars all.

Speaker 2 (01:54:00):
Day to stop talking?

Speaker 3 (01:54:01):
The six six one is texted what I meant to
say and didn't know how men is throwing a fit
about Julienne making it a big deal is a bigger
deal than Julienne, and I agree with that. But if
anybody has any feeling or emotion or passion about something,
you're like, God.

Speaker 2 (01:54:17):
You still make it such a big deal.

Speaker 7 (01:54:21):
A big deal. It's such a small thing. Like wait,
for like I said, while I was talking, you weren't
paying attention. I'm sure, Yeah, have bigger things to worry
about than this nine dollars that this old man wants back.

Speaker 2 (01:54:32):
Well, overall, the majority of people are on Julianne's side.
I think because you know, so many people that are
listening have had that job. There's always a lot of
compassion for people in that job, right and for I mean,
look like people who don't tip are just dicks, period.
I've even started tipping. If I go to pick up
at places.

Speaker 5 (01:54:50):
Now, yeah, you know, drop a couple bucks in the tip.

Speaker 2 (01:54:54):
Something really easy, like if they're looking or all right, yeah,
I go to make sure they're looking first. Yeah, I
got to make sure exactly. If you're not gonna get
any credit for why do it ridiculous? All right, we
got to a quick break. Thank you so much for
the WOODI Show jury has spoken. Thanks there you going,
Thank you for voting everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:55:14):
We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (01:55:16):
So we've got a new team member. You're on the
Woody Show. Her name is Christina, and she's been listening
to the show for the last three years, like listening
to the podcast. She's like a radio junkie. So she's
been listening around and listening to the different things and
the things and the people whatever have been happening around here.
And so she's got a bunch of questions and we're

(01:55:36):
giving her an opportunity as somebody new because I'm always
interested to get like the new person or the new
listeners perspective. It's why we do like the first Impression hotline,
which you can call it a three to three joined
fun But we're going to allow her to ask some
questions and let's see what kind of stuff is on
her mind. Yeah.

Speaker 25 (01:55:54):
So I'm actually pretty nervous about this because I'm still
trying to get on y'all's good side. But my producer hat,
of course, came on and so I didn't, you know,
go easy, So.

Speaker 4 (01:56:08):
Damn microphone didn't get hit by a box of shoes. Okay,
we're good, all right, So.

Speaker 25 (01:56:22):
Hope I don't hate me before I even you even
get to know me.

Speaker 2 (01:56:24):
But here we go.

Speaker 25 (01:56:25):
My first question is going to be just a general
question for the whole show. Have there ever been any
close or actual romantic encounters with any show members past
or present?

Speaker 2 (01:56:36):
Well, Raby and what he used to bang back? Yeah,
so that happens, that's answer, Raby. Raby hooked up with
one of our old board ops. Ray. They didn't look
for trying to give honest answers. The answer is no,
but that you know, well, that's sure. And then there

(01:57:00):
wasn't even any kind of makeout with Tyler.

Speaker 8 (01:57:02):
That's that's according to Tyler's buddies, and I don't trust
them as.

Speaker 1 (01:57:07):
Far as I could throw them.

Speaker 2 (01:57:10):
There was cameras in the club.

Speaker 8 (01:57:11):
Yeah, and I would love to see camera footage of
that menace trying.

Speaker 2 (01:57:16):
To get some That was a regretful decision obviously had
Raby's part.

Speaker 1 (01:57:19):
It never happened, Never happened.

Speaker 25 (01:57:22):
But no, hell no, All right, Woodie, what does SMD
double M stand for?

Speaker 2 (01:57:29):
I can tell you off the air now that you're
a part of the show, but I can't tell you
on the air. It's And by the way, when I
when I tell you what it is, you probably won't
even really understand it because it's something that really only
kind of makes sense to Ravy, Greg Menace and myself. Yeah,
that's true. It's the one thing, Like we have explained

(01:57:49):
a thousand other things, but the one thing we have
not explained is the SMD double M.

Speaker 25 (01:57:54):
But then are there gonna be threats on my life
if you'd tell me what it is? If I know
that knowledge, I.

Speaker 2 (01:57:58):
Think we shouldn't tell you. Good point, Yeah I should
tell you.

Speaker 5 (01:58:01):
I don't see I trust her enough, at least not
right now.

Speaker 2 (01:58:03):
You know, Yeah, yeah, yeah, we don't trust you, right,
You'll never know?

Speaker 25 (01:58:07):
Still all right, moving around the room, Menace. What is
the hardest drug you've ever done?

Speaker 26 (01:58:14):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:58:14):
Just weed?

Speaker 7 (01:58:15):
That's it, because I won't do anything else because ecstasy.
When I was in high school, there would be I
mean raving, raving was huge and people would die just
by taking pills.

Speaker 2 (01:58:27):
So I never did that.

Speaker 7 (01:58:29):
And then I wanted to do cocaine because most likely
I'll probably love eggs and then do it a lot.
And I've been around a lot of people that have
done cocaine. They're not fun, and it's not fun because
their mood is just like up and down, like crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:58:42):
Yeah the radio.

Speaker 25 (01:58:44):
Yeah, so I've heard some crazy cocaine radio stories.

Speaker 6 (01:58:47):
Ok.

Speaker 2 (01:58:47):
Marijuana, Okay. I've seen some crazy cocaine radio stories. Yeah yeah,
I've seen people do radio station. Oh yeah, a lot
of cocaine.

Speaker 25 (01:58:56):
All right, Sea Bass. Have you ever undergone in sort
of counseling.

Speaker 4 (01:59:02):
That's a good question. I have several questions back at you.
Number one, what for number two? Learn No, never, really,
it didn't come up. There was never any It wasn't
even hinted at growing up, there was nothing. You know,
normal childhood turned out awesome, normal childhood okay, and turned
out as both lies. Yeah, no, it just hasn't.

Speaker 10 (01:59:24):
Really.

Speaker 4 (01:59:25):
I'm not against it per se, but no counsel and
counseling sounds like you've got problems and you can't.

Speaker 25 (01:59:32):
I am in school to be a counselor, so you
can shut you can stop right there.

Speaker 4 (01:59:37):
And my mom my mom my aunt is a licensed
practicing psychologist, so I'm certainly not against it by any means.

Speaker 2 (01:59:43):
And placenta barrier mom my mom mom. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:59:47):
My question back for you, Christina is how do you
call it going on a long vacation living in Croatia.

Speaker 25 (01:59:52):
Well, we rented apartment for for we rented an apartment
for a month. We went and got groceries. We had
to get a car.

Speaker 2 (02:00:00):
I studied abroad in England for like twice that length,
and I don't say I lived in England.

Speaker 25 (02:00:03):
Okay, well that's good for you. See bass, I'm gonna
I'm gonna approach it a different way.

Speaker 2 (02:00:07):
Apparently what's happening, all right, this is what happens. Then
you go into the vortext. Whenever you go and ask,
try to ask. I mean, I kind of agree, what's
the threshold for quote, living there? That's what I'm saying,
And thank you, that's for agree. No, But I'm asking you.

Speaker 25 (02:00:21):
If I rented a hotel room the whole time, I
would think that that might be different.

Speaker 2 (02:00:24):
I would say, like three months.

Speaker 4 (02:00:25):
No, I would say, you you change either your address
permanently or you get citizenship or something like that. But
a long vacation, that's not living somewhere.

Speaker 25 (02:00:33):
First of all, I like to say, if anybody thinks
that going somewhere for a month is just a trip,
you must have you must have a great bank account,
because it's way more than just a trip for me
to go away and quit your job for a month
to go somewhere. Anyway, next point is, while I was there.
We weren't sight seeing. I mean we would go places
every once in a while on a weekend or two.

Speaker 4 (02:00:52):
But he was the last.

Speaker 2 (02:00:55):
You really, we really lived some time to take about it.

Speaker 5 (02:01:00):
Stayed in the apartment.

Speaker 2 (02:01:01):
When sight we didn't see the size. Guys. We went
to places like the grocery store.

Speaker 1 (02:01:05):
Yeah, we watched local TV yep, so that.

Speaker 25 (02:01:08):
Was studying and I worked on my radio projects. We
stayed at home and watched TV and I went to
the doctor. We went to the furniture store. We bought
furniture for the apartment. Like I treated it as trying
to be a part of the culture and not trying
to go and look at the size.

Speaker 2 (02:01:28):
That's fine, That is why I would go to Croatia,
even if stay in the apartment.

Speaker 25 (02:01:33):
But we purposely went to experience the culture, not.

Speaker 5 (02:01:37):
To set.

Speaker 2 (02:01:41):
Did The only question is did you have to get
a visa to be there?

Speaker 12 (02:01:46):
Like?

Speaker 2 (02:01:46):
No, that's why we went there.

Speaker 25 (02:01:47):
You go because you didn't have to have.

Speaker 4 (02:01:49):
To get a job because you weren't living there.

Speaker 1 (02:01:51):
Yeah, because you're just staying in your apartment.

Speaker 2 (02:01:53):
Wouldn't live there, wouldn't you have done gotten a job visa?

Speaker 25 (02:01:59):
I didn't have that kind of flexibility. I just wanted
to do what I could to experience another culture, and
a month was as long as I.

Speaker 2 (02:02:07):
Could go the money lasted.

Speaker 25 (02:02:09):
You know, I wasn't planning on staying there for longer
than a month. I went to experience culture for as
long as I could afford to quit my job and
be away from home. I wasn't planning to get a
job in Croatia. I don't speak Croatian.

Speaker 4 (02:02:21):
Oh that's real emerging right there.

Speaker 2 (02:02:24):
I would make the grocery store that mul It.

Speaker 25 (02:02:27):
Was difficult, and counting out their money was very difficult.

Speaker 2 (02:02:33):
What do you mean you guys don't know.

Speaker 25 (02:02:35):
They don't have jobs and it's a different monetaries.

Speaker 2 (02:02:38):
You've only lived there as long as they can make
the money.

Speaker 8 (02:02:42):
Then the apartment seems to smell a little bit because
I haven't left in a month.

Speaker 2 (02:02:48):
Oday.

Speaker 5 (02:02:50):
I'm not glad that that came back up a.

Speaker 2 (02:02:52):
Sport and it's really been kind of baptism by fire,
just the same way we did with Randy wondering why
you bought it? Do you ask for an answer? I
gave you a question. Show everyone this is bored. Thank
you so much for listening to the Woody Show podcast
is setting in all your requests for this week of

(02:03:15):
the most requested and best memories of The Woody Show
of the last ten years. As a special thank you
to you, the podcast subscribers. You are getting even more
content every single day of this vacation break, so enjoy
and keep listening. Being in your car and The Woody
Show go together, like being in your car and empty
bags of fast food, older seats in a couple of hoodies,

(02:03:36):
and something that's just I don't know what that is
on your seat. News that includes fun accents. You know,
we always love accents here on The Woody Show. We're
terrible at them. I don't know what you're talking about.
Every accent we try ends up sounding like an Italian, Lauren.

Speaker 8 (02:03:54):
It starts at one place and then inevitably ends up
at Boran.

Speaker 2 (02:03:59):
No, it's Italian and yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:04:05):
But pretty accurate, ask me, yeah, like do your pope
real quick? So like this one is dead real Hello.

Speaker 2 (02:04:13):
I am the Pope.

Speaker 1 (02:04:15):
Wait the like you see then yes, that's.

Speaker 2 (02:04:20):
The other one. Nice. The beginning was spotting Yes, hello,
I am in, I am here to Italian that this
week youre going to have a very good luck from
a high psychic. Yeah, because I speak to the gods,

(02:04:40):
good luck. Can I get alone?

Speaker 4 (02:04:44):
It doesn't work in that way. He loves you in
spirit out.

Speaker 2 (02:04:48):
Of money, all right, so far one hundred yeah right, yeah,
but like yeah's either Italian or Bora, but we do love.
Like the body clip is one of our favorites. God,
I want to meet that guy. You want to meet him? Yeah?
Why does it always go back to that? Always? Always,

(02:05:10):
It's so weird.

Speaker 1 (02:05:11):
You just want to see his Wiener open. And the
personal is a.

Speaker 2 (02:05:22):
What you called if you got the bonny statement not true,
now you're right. It's like manace is a compass that
always points to the Wien. It always points down. It's
like a tractor beam to the Wien. So in news
involving fun accents, a group of idiots in Australia, they

(02:05:43):
went through a McDonald's drive through and they sprayed the
poor girl working at the McDonald's with a fire extinguisher
right in the face, just like everything else you do
these days. They filmed it. She inhaled some of it,
but she says she's really lucky because it could have
blinded her.

Speaker 27 (02:06:03):
He started saying things like, oh, you're so hot. And
I was like, look, I'll talk to you, but only
if you stopped talking to me like that. It was
just so fast, and I realized because I inherited it
and I tasted it straight away, and I was like,
this is poison. They said it could have caused blindness.
So very lucky that was. It was malicious and just dirty.

Speaker 2 (02:06:21):
It's dead.

Speaker 6 (02:06:22):
It's so hot.

Speaker 2 (02:06:23):
Have you ever inhaled that stuff?

Speaker 6 (02:06:24):
No?

Speaker 2 (02:06:24):
No, horrible poison you guys? Ever done a rip off
of fire? Sprayed yourself in the face, guys?

Speaker 7 (02:06:32):
Someone let one go in radio station I was working at,
and I mean you could barely breathe.

Speaker 2 (02:06:37):
It's the worst. And you taste it too. It's horrible.
Someone says, the pulpe is from South America? Yeah, what
do you think that accent was exactly? Come on, It's like, okay,
I am the pop, right, yes, I.

Speaker 1 (02:06:52):
Am the pop. That's Argentina right there.

Speaker 2 (02:06:54):
I represent all of the Catholic like church. Thank you,
re right, you're right nailed it. What did people are?

Speaker 9 (02:07:02):
You know?

Speaker 2 (02:07:02):
Ben Argentina?

Speaker 10 (02:07:03):
We have.

Speaker 2 (02:07:05):
All right? Some other news involving fun accents. A taxi
company company in Australia. Again they fired a driver for
faking a heart attack, and he did it just to
get out of a short fair. He picked up this
woman at the airport, then stopped the ride and he
got out because he wanted a bigger fair. Then he

(02:07:26):
started clutching his chest and saying that he couldn't drive,
but he already told her why he was actually stopping
the ride, and she filmed it. Here's some audio from that.

Speaker 1 (02:07:38):
Yes, but you just in the mid No, no, no,
you're a liar.

Speaker 28 (02:07:44):
You said you wanted to turn the met off because
you wanted.

Speaker 1 (02:07:48):
A big affair. You said you wanted a larger fair
than the airport.

Speaker 2 (02:07:52):
To Annandale, screw.

Speaker 6 (02:07:55):
Screw Ward goes to, you.

Speaker 2 (02:07:59):
Do what my Uber and Lyft drivers do. Just drive
around the city. You know, I'm having an attack of
me thump up. Yeah, that's that's two accents in one.
We got the Australian accent and the German accent, right exactly.
I'm not driving. Oh that's right, Yeah, I'm not driving.
I need to be airlifted back to easy to be.

Speaker 4 (02:08:21):
I'm coming, hilarious, it's the big one.

Speaker 1 (02:08:26):
I'm having it right now. I'm coming.

Speaker 2 (02:08:29):
Take me to the heaven.

Speaker 1 (02:08:32):
Delight was his wife's name, and Elizabeth.

Speaker 2 (02:08:36):
He now what Jamaican.

Speaker 1 (02:08:38):
Damn it, Elizabeth, and I am coming.

Speaker 2 (02:08:43):
To you back to Germany, that gun if we cannot
meet a homeland of.

Speaker 5 (02:08:47):
Germany to the molds, hilarious.

Speaker 2 (02:08:52):
I'm wanting to know how is your five.

Speaker 1 (02:08:56):
Australia curious above.

Speaker 2 (02:09:05):
Are wondering in other news involving fun accents. Not sure
if you know this already or not. But there's this
observation deck that sticks out from the top of the
tower formerly known as the Sears Tower, and it's now
called the Willis Tower, which nobody, nobody calls it. It's
where tourists can stand on the glass floor and look down.

(02:09:27):
I mean you're way high up, the mega high up.
Well it shattered, my god, but it was just the
protective coating on the glass. Don't care. No one was
any any actual danger. But if you looked at it,
oh yeah, and that's the first time that thing shattered.
Now here's a guy who is standing on it when
it happened. A head noise and like shake crack.

Speaker 29 (02:09:50):
A wo man with two little kids, and they look
like pale, like because the whole glass crack. I think
something fall from the ceiling because I saw like a
little piece of metal pie like a square. I was
in the meaning of the crack of the glass. I
mean it wasn't, but you know it's safe. Nothing's gonna happen.

Speaker 4 (02:10:07):
Okay, that guy that is that's the most generic foreigner
I've ever heard of anywhere in the world.

Speaker 2 (02:10:12):
Alright, Yeah, what do I kiao case called in the summer?

Speaker 1 (02:10:17):
The meat?

Speaker 2 (02:10:20):
That could be Peruvian, that could be German. I have
no idea. It's just a basic you know, a tourists.

Speaker 24 (02:10:29):
I am not from here. Do you want to know
where I'm from? Not Chicago, not from the south Side?

Speaker 2 (02:10:41):
Maybe who knows. Got a couple of texts coming in.
One from the two two five says, y'all's German accent
sounds like an Indian guy saying German words. No, not hating,
not hating, just thought, y'all should know you you need
to get you here, you need to get to hear
check check the mirror, dumbs yoe. And then we have

(02:11:04):
this one from the five to one, Oh says that's
an Indian accent, not German. Checker global work. Yeah, we
had a menace who was trying to do a German
accent one time and it was just straight up Indian.
So now that's like, oh cool, I didn't know that
was the German accent. Get together, and really, what does

(02:11:29):
a German? I ask you, what does a German or
an Indian accent sound like? Hello, this is twenty nineteen.
You assume our country thing though, Like there's videos of
people doing backflips on that thing. I wouldn't go near it.

(02:11:50):
I've been up to the top of the Series Tower.
That was before they had that observation deck death deck.
They have that for the Grand Canyon too. Yeah. Thing,
you have a glass platform that goes out over I
like the ones that they have over like Asia and
stuff where it has something where it makes it look
like it's cracky. There's so many Yeah, freak, I do

(02:12:12):
a really good Asian act. Anyone here?

Speaker 25 (02:12:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:12:15):
So I'm over there and I'm hanging out with him,
and I'm like, Yo, you want to get some coffee
from China? How you doing? Whoa, Oh that's a big way.

Speaker 5 (02:12:27):
That's really good.

Speaker 2 (02:12:28):
Yeah, Hey, how you doing? Forget about it? Forget about
its message with me? I know, karate you forget about
you Look at me, Yo, this is my Asian accent.
It's like it's like you're in Asia right now, you
know what I'm saying. Wait, what's your text number? You guys?
That's not a Chinese accent. Guys, my grandmother's Chinese just
sounded like northeis. Yeah, I don't know what that was.

(02:12:50):
That sounds like maybe like a gentleman from either Philandelphia
or New York. I'm not hating. I just thought you
should know. I just I just want to let you
know that just didn't really sound like an Asian at.

Speaker 4 (02:13:03):
Keeping it real.

Speaker 2 (02:13:05):
Not hating, all right. And one more from news involving
fun accents. You know those red and yellow little tykes
cars that little kids have, okay, yeah, just punching like
little tight little car cars, shopping cars now, yeah, little tights.
They're like red and like a yellow roof, you know,

(02:13:26):
you see they're like okay, yeah, plastic. Sometimes they have
to handle they can push them around it right. Well, uh,
back in the day people had those for their kids.
Well over in Scotland, this thirty four year old chick
she climbed into one as a joke, but then she
got stuck, and then she tried and tried and nothing
worked to get free. So here comes to chick's dad.

Speaker 1 (02:13:45):
He went and got a.

Speaker 2 (02:13:45):
Butter knife and he was trying to saw her out
of it butter knife. But of course somebody was getting
video of all this on their phone. Now, parts of
the accent here are so thick that you can't even
make out what they're saying.

Speaker 12 (02:13:57):
Here. This is.

Speaker 7 (02:14:02):
Stop, Babby.

Speaker 2 (02:14:11):
How long did you take the stop? Stop?

Speaker 25 (02:14:21):
That?

Speaker 1 (02:14:21):
Was that what I said?

Speaker 2 (02:14:22):
Parts of it, like the accident is so thick you
can't even tell what the hell they're saying. Was that
a clip? A clip from Trainspotting? I mean I can,
I can try to recreate it. Okay, Oh father, I
am stock. I need you to get butter knife to
get me out. Wow from scott ran Wait are you

(02:14:44):
saying this or did you just click play on the clip? Yeah,
showing I'm just showing how good we are at different
This is my Scottish accent. Okay, most honorable father. I
need you to get me out of riddle tight car.
I am from Scotland. Those kids.

Speaker 26 (02:15:08):
Forget about forget about it. I use it from Ireland.
I'm here to yes, yes, hello, hello, I visited from Ireland.

Speaker 2 (02:15:25):
Here to get you out of car.

Speaker 1 (02:15:26):
What you need to do.

Speaker 2 (02:15:30):
To get out of little tight cart. You need to
go get a sock. Get red pepper lake mixed with
the vooka shoot red pepper flag voka. Put on a sock.

Speaker 1 (02:15:47):
You'll sleep right out.

Speaker 2 (02:15:48):
This onion is no big deal. Wow, that's good Irish.
That's why. Then you can hear the difference between that
and the Scott Scott from.

Speaker 4 (02:15:58):
Scotland, like they're geographically close, but the accent it's widely different.

Speaker 2 (02:16:04):
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, there you go. There's your there's your
news involving fun accents. Yeah, borning. We're gonna take a
quick break. More Woody shows next, hang out now.

Speaker 4 (02:16:19):
The Woody Show, The Woody Show, The Woody Show, The
Woody Show Show.

Speaker 2 (02:16:29):
The Woody show Man. We are so happy that you're here. Hey, Also,
check in with us, tell us who you are, Make
sure you give us your name, and then where you are,
and then what station you listen to The Woody Show
each morning. If you listen on the iHeartRadio, I've mentioned
that for sure, check in with us over to two
two nine eight seven. That's two two nine eight seven.

(02:16:52):
And just in case you haven't quite gotten enough Randy
in your Diet video producer whatever the Wood Show. Good
morning Randy, Right, good morning guys. What's up Brandy the
cam man? What's happening? So every day after the show,
Randy hangs out with Bort in the production room. Yeah,

(02:17:13):
and they're always they're always talking, and and Bort tells
me all the time, like, man, you got to hear
some of these stories, yes, that that Randy tells. And
so it seems like almost every day he's got some
different story. And I heard him one the other day
and it reminded me that, you know, because his mom,
I mean, she's hardcore my mom.

Speaker 9 (02:17:31):
My mom survived the Civil War. Yeah, came to America
and worked like five jobs. And I'm what, that's where
we are?

Speaker 2 (02:17:38):
We are now. So my mom has definitely been like
ultra hardcore.

Speaker 1 (02:17:41):
And you're scared of your mom?

Speaker 2 (02:17:42):
Oh hell yeah? Five one. Yeah, I'm not terrified. She's
the most scariest person in the world. Yeah. And that
hasn't stopped you from doing dumb stuff, of course not.
And so we have a new game for you this
morning here on What Show Now, Juliane, if you wouldn't
mind getting me three different people lined up on the
phones one eight hundred seven eight two seven nine eight
seven one eight hundred seven eight to two seven nine

(02:18:02):
eight seven. Let's get three people lined up and we're
gonna play a game here this morning for the very
first time. This is called Randy's Old School Punishment game,
where he tells a story from back in his childhood,
is something that he did, and then he's gonna give
us a multiple choice of how his mom dealt with
the situation. I love it. And then we're gonna have
to guess what punishment Randy received for the crime. Oh man,

(02:18:26):
I can't wait. Yeah, so fit the punishment with the crime.

Speaker 4 (02:18:30):
IM guessing none of these will be a very stern
talking to no sometimes yeah, sometimes, Well, because we've been
playing this game in the production room as we hear
some of these stories, I.

Speaker 9 (02:18:41):
Explained to Breadbelly, I have all these stories, but I
forget about them, and then someone mentioned something and then
it just comes to me.

Speaker 2 (02:18:46):
I'm like, oh, so we need to we need three
people lined up.

Speaker 3 (02:18:49):
Julianne, please, Randy, you're twenty two now, right, yes, So
let's say at twenty two, you still live at home
and you get a call from a random friend and
they want to have dinner tonight at seven o'clock.

Speaker 2 (02:18:59):
Do you say, hey, Mom, I'm going out tonight. Is
that cool? Or do you just get up and go.

Speaker 9 (02:19:03):
It's just one of those things where I let my
mom know that I'm going out. But I'm at the
age now my mom's more lenient to be gone on.
To be honest, she's just more tired. She's I don't
want to deal with it.

Speaker 2 (02:19:12):
For those who don't know, like some confusion the Civil War,
how old your mom? People on the.

Speaker 9 (02:19:15):
Text the Salvadorian Civil Wars dalvad, my mother is fifty
six north or south?

Speaker 2 (02:19:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:19:23):
Right?

Speaker 2 (02:19:23):
Oh yeah, all right? So we ready to play you bet? Okay,
it is time. Do you play Randy's old school punishment game? Okay,
all right, rap, all right, So Randy tell us what
happened first, and then we'll get the multiple choice. Then
we'll go to the phones.

Speaker 9 (02:19:39):
Okay, Well, I'd say I was about the age of
shark when this happened. So I saw and I it
was a Saturday morning, My mom and I went for
a walk.

Speaker 2 (02:19:46):
I was on my bike.

Speaker 9 (02:19:47):
Now, my mom doesn't like it when I ride bikes,
and that was one of the things she emphasized like, oh,
you can't have a bike.

Speaker 2 (02:19:52):
You're gonna get hit by a car, YadA. You just
can't do it all right.

Speaker 9 (02:19:56):
So this is one of those things where I was like, sweet,
my mom's gonna let me ride my bike. So I
wrote my bike, and I was like, you know, it'd
be really funny if I went up ahead, hid behind
in the alley, and popped out and scared my mom.
I waited there for a body. I waited there for
about twenty minutes. My mom never showed up. So I'm like,
you know what, I could go home, but I might
have yelled at and I'm already gonna yelled at. So

(02:20:16):
I might as well just go to the local convenience
store and play with the toys in the toy section.
So I rode my bike over to the toy like
the store. I played with the toys, and I didn't
realize how much time It passed, about an hour or so.

Speaker 1 (02:20:26):
I'm like, oh my god, now he's really screwed.

Speaker 2 (02:20:28):
I gotta get home.

Speaker 9 (02:20:29):
So I'm riding home and then I get to the
house and at the time, my mom was like, as now,
she was working a lot, and we kind of had
like a living nanny, like she was visiting from a
foreign country, family friend, whatever, and she's like, oh, she's
from the Czech Republics.

Speaker 2 (02:20:42):
Like, oh, Randy, yo to mommy's looking for you.

Speaker 19 (02:20:47):
It was really good.

Speaker 2 (02:20:48):
All right, look out, Randy, your mommy's looking for you.

Speaker 3 (02:20:54):
And I'm like, okay, So I'm on my Budapest.

Speaker 9 (02:20:59):
I'm on like Defcon five. I think that's the highest
death coon. I don't know this stuff. So I'm like,
all right, well, I got to think of something. If
my mom finds me, she's gonna beat my ass. Now
he's panicking, so I'm panicking now. So I'm riding my
bike Around'm like, oh, I'm like, you know what'll work.
I'm gonna go find this random like piece of grass
like a few blocks away, and I'm just gonna lie
there and my mom's gonna find me. I'm be like, oh, Mom,
you found me. I don't know how I got here,

(02:21:21):
So I did that. So I'm laaring in the grass.
I'm laying in the grass. Half an hour passes nothing.
I'm like, you know what I should I should just
go home my mom and be like, oh, you're here.
I found you. But of course that's not the logical
thing to think. So I ride my bike home and
then I'm like, okay, my mom's out here. Nanny's like, oh,

(02:21:41):
she's still looking for you.

Speaker 2 (02:21:42):
And okay.

Speaker 9 (02:21:43):
So at the time, my dad had had built like
a doghouse for the rott waller we had ginger, and
so I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna
go hide in the doghouse. I'm just gonna hide the doghouse.
My mom's gonna find me. Whatever happens happens, I'm gonna
take it like a man. This is nine year old
Randy thinking. So I'm hiding in the doghouse, hiding. Yeah,
my mom rolls up. I'm dude, I'm terrified. I'm trembling.

(02:22:04):
And then this is and then now it's time for
you to guess what happens to me? All right, So
Randy's mom finds him after all that in the dog
in the dog literally the dockhouse. Now the three options
what happened? What was Randy's punishment? What did his mom do?
And so your three options are option number one, did
she take my TV and gang Cube out of my
room for six years? B take the cable connecting the

(02:22:26):
cable box to my TV and beat me with it,
or se was happy that I was safe in safe
at home?

Speaker 2 (02:22:33):
All righty eight two seven nine eight seven. Let's go
to uh Terrence. Hey, good morning, Terrence, morning, good morning.
How are you all right? So, so, Terrence, what's your guess?

Speaker 6 (02:22:49):
I'm gonna say she whipped him with a cable, a cable.

Speaker 2 (02:22:52):
Whipping close but not quite man, all right, didn't didn't
whip with the cable? All right, Thank you, Terrence. Thanks Terrence,
all right, letter, Let's go thought that was it. Let's
go to Edwin in Guardia. Hey, good morning, Edwin, Good
morning guys. You know you know all right, So what's

(02:23:14):
your guess?

Speaker 6 (02:23:15):
I'm gonna guess she took his game console for six.

Speaker 2 (02:23:19):
Years once again? Close?

Speaker 1 (02:23:24):
Oh wow, I get Randy.

Speaker 2 (02:23:27):
All right, Edwin, thank you. Let's go to Danielle in Walnut. Hey,
good morning, Danielle. Hi, So Danielle, what's your guess? Number three?
Or see that's got to be it?

Speaker 5 (02:23:42):
I mean she was just happy.

Speaker 9 (02:23:44):
Okay, yeah, actually there answered Tallis and she did all
three to me. So she took my game console away? Well,
what did you what did we talk about?

Speaker 2 (02:23:55):
We're supposed to have one answer for what happened. You
can't you can't do trick questions? All three was not
an option? Camera, help you do this?

Speaker 23 (02:24:06):
My god.

Speaker 2 (02:24:10):
We talked, yes, and it was supposed there was supposed
to be one answer, but the Gettings had come up
with three different answers, one being the right answer. Got
all three that happened all three in there. Ye wait, Randy,
this happened. We talked. I said, Randy, you're gonna tell

(02:24:38):
the story. You're gonnave us three options as to what happened.
One of them was not all of the above. Well,
he's supposed to have one correct answer. Yeah, okay, which
when he told the story originally, and Bard correct me
if I'm wrong, because we were both there for the
original telling of the story. The story ended his mom
found him disconnected the cable from the back of the

(02:25:01):
cable box and beat him with it, which is fun.

Speaker 9 (02:25:05):
But I also mentioned how she took my TV away,
and then you were like, oh, well, you know, we'll
be at the end like, oh, getting it's all three
things that happened.

Speaker 2 (02:25:12):
To incorrect, Okay, come on in here, Bort. Oh my god,
this isn't how game shows work.

Speaker 4 (02:25:19):
No, b.

Speaker 5 (02:25:23):
Yeah, that's Jeopardy every night, millionaire.

Speaker 2 (02:25:28):
Hold on one second, so excited about this? What the hell?
What the hell we do? Was there for the entire conversation?
Answer one? And when he told us the story, it
was only the option about the cable. If you noticed
when we were going through the cast, you were very
I'm staring at him.

Speaker 9 (02:25:47):
I'm like, did he get the answer? Right before the segment?
I looked at you and I'm gonna be like, all right,
so I'm just gonna.

Speaker 2 (02:25:52):
Be like, Randy, get out, okay, all right, thanks, thanks, try.
It was God. That's how you communicate, guys. You look
at each other. Yeah, jeez, faster than the person in
front of you can realize. There blinker is still on,
still on right now? Excuse me? They show all right, so,

(02:26:15):
uh Tony the Whipping Boys gonna help us out here.
Tony's here, and we have Greg who, for one hundred
dollars has agreed to allow Tony.

Speaker 1 (02:26:25):
This show is taking a turn.

Speaker 2 (02:26:27):
Yes, it's awesome. Throwback Thursday. This is very throwback up
all this crap.

Speaker 3 (02:26:32):
Randomly, when Woody would offer me, you know, cash to
reach my hand into a thing of bugs, right, which
wouldn't do, which I would not do. Greg's a ton
of money.

Speaker 2 (02:26:41):
Everybody loves money. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend
that nobody, you know, anybody out there doesn't like money. However,
Greg is willing to do more things for money than
most people that I know, absolutely and discusting things.

Speaker 3 (02:26:55):
It's a thrill, even as little as ten dollars. You know,
if somebody said, hey, i'll you know, throw an egg
at your face for ten bucks, it's ten bucks you
didn't have one second ago. It's exciting, all right.

Speaker 2 (02:27:05):
So in this case, we have some biscus, biscuits and
gravy that were delivered to us this morning. It's so
good here in Des Moines. Yeah, it was really good.
I'm not sure I want to eat it like this though. No,
and I'm not gonna eat it. I'm just gonning and
so receive it.

Speaker 1 (02:27:20):
Oh my god, yeah, eat it, and so deliver it.

Speaker 2 (02:27:25):
Greg has agreed to MENACE's challenge. Yes, so Tony's gonna chew.
He's gonna chew up the biscuits and gravy really good
in his mouth. And then this is a hard biscuit,
I'm gonna have to chew it. He's like sword in
the stone and then he's gonna then he's gonna baby
bird it into Greg's mouth. Now, Sea Bass brought up

(02:27:46):
some good questions. Yes, for it was one dollars, which
I agree we probably could have got him for a
lot less than a hundred. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we maybe.
So it's receive spit out? Is that the rule? I
don't have how long? The question is how long is
he gonna have? We're gonna start creating rules. Now you
have to hold it for at least it can't like
just drop in your mouth and at least five five seconds, Greg,

(02:28:10):
if I if I fine, Okay, I mean it's not
gonna be like a bartender porn a shot. Yeah, and
how much is this? I'm like a yeah, good chunk
that's not a normal human sized bite, normal human Well
not all that's gonna make it into your mouth? Ya,
I'm gonna fall in the side. All right, so great,
but we have Okay, Greg, if I give you an
extra twenty dollars, swallow it, no biscuits and gravy. I'll

(02:28:37):
throw a twamp in there.

Speaker 1 (02:28:41):
I'll I'll throw a twamp for swallowing sixty for swallowing. Really,
it's one hundred and sixty.

Speaker 2 (02:28:48):
Oh man, Okay, let's see.

Speaker 3 (02:28:52):
I know Tony, I know he's married and monogamous, so
I'm not worried about the herb or anything like that.
He is a friend, but you're all friends. Does I
mean I would eat food out of your mouth, you
would your tongue and some strangers.

Speaker 2 (02:29:08):
And what's the difference. It's already gonna be in your mouth.
What's the what's the difference? Well, okays, we would already
have it.

Speaker 3 (02:29:15):
Could we make the bite slightly smaller than that? I mean,
come on, Tony, that's like huge, big.

Speaker 2 (02:29:22):
Well I'm sure it's like spinach. I'm sure it'll reduced
down like once it gets all cheered up everything. So
so it's a hundred.

Speaker 3 (02:29:29):
Just it's one hundred just to receive it and then
hold it for like and then another and another.

Speaker 2 (02:29:39):
Sixty just a swallow once, Greg, no offense. I'm sure
you've swallowed worse. That's a matter of perspective. You know
what you think might be worse.

Speaker 1 (02:29:55):
Biscuits?

Speaker 2 (02:29:56):
And it was just the gravy.

Speaker 3 (02:29:58):
Yeah, and it was enjoyable, and I have alright, just
make the decision, Okay, menace, you have one hundred dollars
in cash on you.

Speaker 7 (02:30:10):
I will once I'll get outside this building and get
the hundred immediately.

Speaker 2 (02:30:14):
Am I allowed to puke afterwards?

Speaker 1 (02:30:17):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (02:30:17):
Sure, all right, sure, let's do it sixty. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:30:21):
I'm mainly doing this for Menace because he got so
stoked over, you know, putting this.

Speaker 2 (02:30:25):
On the ground. All right, Fakenews dot camera, can you
give me a drum roll? Plase? Sure? Why not?

Speaker 6 (02:30:29):
All right?

Speaker 2 (02:30:30):
Why not to get it on my shirt? Because we
have meetings today, Tony is go ahead, Tony, put the
business and gravy in your mouth, assuming this is a
sausage gravy, all right now.

Speaker 1 (02:30:40):
Yeah, just make sure you chewed up very chunky.

Speaker 2 (02:30:43):
Well yeah, it's cold. I'll just use your mouth to
warm it up for Greg. Yeah, oh my god. See
now he's chewing extra gross. It's dry because he's been
sitting out there for a minute.

Speaker 4 (02:30:56):
Just keep chewing, chewing extra gross, just chilling.

Speaker 2 (02:31:00):
Man, all right ready, just like alright, you gotta you gotta,
you gotta lean back like it's a dentist chair, dentist chair.
Let me fashion my bib out of cocktail napkin.

Speaker 3 (02:31:16):
Alright, alright, okay, this is for you man, all right,
and for my money, right yeah, I.

Speaker 2 (02:31:24):
Got okay, it's gonna be like a dumpling.

Speaker 1 (02:31:40):
What okay?

Speaker 2 (02:31:55):
Disgusticall I'm putting my money away.

Speaker 1 (02:31:59):
Then even Tony's gag.

Speaker 2 (02:32:02):
Oh god, I threw up.

Speaker 4 (02:32:06):
So did it go down into his stock or no?

Speaker 8 (02:32:11):
So he gets the hundred dollars, he gets the but
he doesn't get the extra sixty because he's vomited.

Speaker 2 (02:32:20):
Oh god, that's a good effort. What a cold source
feel like? All right, so Greg from the receiving and described.

Speaker 3 (02:32:32):
I'm being honest, I probably could have swallowed it. But
Tony baby birded that from such.

Speaker 2 (02:32:38):
Great heights that it was like a punch in my toel,
and not in a good way, in the way I
normally like it. Oh, and that really hurt. And then
it looked like a pace immediately started.

Speaker 3 (02:32:58):
Upon getting my tonsu And then, you know, like that expression,
my whole life flash before my eyes. Within that tillionth
trillionth of a second, I thought, what am I doing?
Tony chewed this up. I'm trying so hard to swallow
it because I want the extra sixty dollars.

Speaker 2 (02:33:18):
And then my body just took over and.

Speaker 1 (02:33:19):
I rejected it, rejected it.

Speaker 3 (02:33:23):
Big way, and I legit vomited and I apologized because
there's not even a liner in this trash can recycling,
this vomit recyclable. I guess we're reduced. We're using recycle,
right using.

Speaker 2 (02:33:42):
Oh gosh, so this we're not going to get invited back.
And I have flex of gravy vomit on my shirt.
This will be on our Instagram in just a few months.
Yeah all right, So all right, but hey, I made
one hundred dollars. Yeah, good, good on you with the
money on top of the money that the company is
already paying us to do this in the first to

(02:34:04):
be here, right exactly, So I made like one hundred
and nine dollars. We're gonna take a break.

Speaker 1 (02:34:13):
We need one.

Speaker 2 (02:34:14):
We've got some more woodie show. Yeah, total loser. We're
gonna take a break. We got some more woody show.
Next time show. So uh, one of my favorite ones,
this is Menace panhandling the panhandlers in San Francisco, and

(02:34:36):
it was this crazy lady and she was super aggressive,
like she would not leave people alone. She was probably
the most aggressive of all the ones that he I
would see I would see her in the same spot
for years, for years, And apparently she had like some
dude on the lookout for her because as Menace was Yeah,
because as Menace was trying to panhandle this panhandler. Uh this,

(02:34:58):
let's say this clip ends with Menace runn away and
you here, I'm running down the street. Here we go,
Menace panhandling this crazy lady. Excuse me, Hey, you get
money for a transfer. If you don't get away from me,
I want to knock you out. You get away from me. Alright, Sunshine,
you're a return Wow, that's Wrong's wrong because you're stupid?
What's wrong?

Speaker 1 (02:35:18):
What's wrong because you're an idiot.

Speaker 2 (02:35:20):
I'm just asking you for a quarter? Are you an
idiot for asking them for a quarter?

Speaker 18 (02:35:24):
Now?

Speaker 2 (02:35:25):
What's the problem?

Speaker 19 (02:35:26):
Nothing?

Speaker 6 (02:35:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:35:30):
And there he goes.

Speaker 2 (02:35:35):
Put up in a fight. Man. It was like Deebo
came out of nowhere about the cru I mean it's
fight or flight? Flight? Did then?

Speaker 1 (02:35:44):
Did the right thing?

Speaker 2 (02:35:44):
Show? Join fun?

Speaker 8 (02:35:48):
This?

Speaker 2 (02:35:50):
This is the wood Show, the Woody Show. It is
the Woody Show.

Speaker 1 (02:35:58):
You can get ahold of us if you want to
play this dumb ass contest.

Speaker 2 (02:36:02):
We're ready to roll. It was called one eight hundred
seven eight two seven nine eight seven one eight hundred
seven eight to two seven nine eight seven phones are
open right now, Julian the phone screener getting your calls
lined up now, myself, Greg and Fakenews Dot Cameron. We
are all big fans. I'm hopelessly addicted of HGTV, like

(02:36:24):
a lot of different shows. I mean, I like Property Brothers.
I think that would probably be my favorite show currently.
That one's good. Property Brothers. I used to like House
Hunters more. I still like it. I love it, with
the exception of International House hunder that one. Who I'm
not interested. This is terrible. Yeah, makes me love living
here even more.

Speaker 7 (02:36:42):
Right, I love Island Hunters, even though the houses are
never like dope or anything like that.

Speaker 2 (02:36:48):
But I just like seeing the islands. Yeah, just the
fact that you're living on an island. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (02:36:51):
What about love It or list Ith Yeah, I do
like that. I like that too, But I love it
how they they blame the house for them being pigs,
you know. Yeah, oh this house isn't working for us.

Speaker 2 (02:37:00):
Yeah, because you have crap on your dining room table,
your borderline hoarder, you're a hoarder. Yeah, get rid of
some stuff. You're although I didn't like if they try
to do like some new version of Love It or
listed and that I thought it sucked the root. Oh really, year,
But the house Hunters. That's where this dumb ass contest
is born from. And we've done this a couple of

(02:37:20):
times and people really seem to like it. Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls. Let's play stupid house Hunters. They're playing
stupid house Hunters. Now, this is a this is a
creation of fakenews dot Cameron. So Cameron, go ahead and
explain this game to everybody.

Speaker 1 (02:37:38):
I'm gonna play you some clips from house Hunters. You're
gonna get to meet some people looking for a house,
and guess what stupid thing they're looking for in a house.
You guess correctly, you win, all right?

Speaker 2 (02:37:48):
One eight hundred seven eight to two seven nine eight seven.
That's want eight hundred seven eight to two seven nine
eight seven. Let's get our first contestants. Say hi to Ann, Hey,
good morning, and and and ee hello, what's up man?
We are playing stupid house Hunters. Are you ready?

Speaker 5 (02:38:04):
I'm ready?

Speaker 2 (02:38:05):
All right, Cameron. Who's first? First is Trish in Austin, Okay,
here's Trisha and Austin.

Speaker 28 (02:38:10):
My name is Trish and this is my boyfriend, Austin,
and we live in Bothel, Washington.

Speaker 23 (02:38:15):
I work in the pharmaceutical industry as a quality control analyst.

Speaker 28 (02:38:18):
I work in the medical device industry at a startup company.

Speaker 5 (02:38:22):
We're pretty similar.

Speaker 15 (02:38:23):
We always have a plan and a goal, and we always.

Speaker 28 (02:38:25):
Reach it as a team. I mean, that's what I
love about him. He's my teammate, my partner, my soulmate.

Speaker 2 (02:38:31):
We met at Trish's old job.

Speaker 23 (02:38:34):
I was working there as a consultant, and I remember
the first day I met her. I remember exactly what
she was wearing, and I instantly I think it was
love at first sight.

Speaker 10 (02:38:43):
Oh.

Speaker 4 (02:38:47):
Now does stupid house or his house hunters always have
someone else talking in the background.

Speaker 2 (02:38:50):
Yeah, they're showing like the b roll of them, like,
you know, doing stuff together. Yeah, god forbid they meet.

Speaker 1 (02:38:58):
Yeah, it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:39:01):
TV is confusing. Also a bad idea, buying a house
when you're just dating. Oh okay, that also sounds like
an awful idea. But anyway, so these are our first couple.
This is our first couple.

Speaker 3 (02:39:12):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (02:39:13):
And then here is part two and what they're looking
for here. Yeah, we'll have to try to figure out
what stupid thing they're looking for.

Speaker 28 (02:39:19):
I like more move and ready home because I'd rather
spend our time outdoors than spending it inside.

Speaker 23 (02:39:26):
I'm looking for more of a fixed upper because I
do have some handyman skills there, and I think Trisha
still needs to learn how to swing a hammer.

Speaker 28 (02:39:36):
We would like to have updated appliances.

Speaker 5 (02:39:38):
I guess a nice countertop.

Speaker 6 (02:39:40):
We're looking for A.

Speaker 2 (02:39:44):
All right, so it's multiple choice here. What are they
looking for?

Speaker 1 (02:39:48):
Is it A a space for an obstacle course training area,
B tall ceilings with wall space for projecting football games,
or see a large back deck for private bird watching.

Speaker 2 (02:40:04):
Wow? All right, so A was the obstacle course. B
like tall ceilings and uh space for projecting watching football games,
projecting football games, and then the third one was a
nice private deck for bird watching.

Speaker 4 (02:40:22):
They don't seem like the American ninja warrior type to me.

Speaker 1 (02:40:26):
Yeah, I'm trying to decide if he's birdie or browie.

Speaker 2 (02:40:30):
Yeah, I mean I'm gonna go by the laugh, I'll
say football football. Yeah. Yeah. They put me down for
that's B right, Yeah, that's B all right.

Speaker 7 (02:40:41):
All those people in the medical community. They turn up,
they're going to party, They're gonna want to watch football.
So yeah, I'm going football as well, going b all.

Speaker 2 (02:40:50):
Right, Rave, put me down for football football b Greg
put me down for obstacle course. Obstacle course. All right,
and what's what's your guests? What are you looking for?

Speaker 5 (02:41:00):
I'm going for the football to.

Speaker 2 (02:41:03):
Tall ceilings with wall space for projecting football games. Let's
find out.

Speaker 6 (02:41:08):
We're looking for a.

Speaker 23 (02:41:11):
And a backyard that offers some privacy because we need
a place to train for obstacle course race, monkey bars
and climbing holes and rope swings, and also an area
that we can practice our spears our.

Speaker 2 (02:41:31):
I hope they break up to figure out how to
split the house up. Sorry, sorry about that our training training.
Thanks on the show. Damn, that's the sound of I'm
never listening again. Let's go to Kevin on line number two.

(02:41:51):
It's cracking. Kevin. Hey Kevin, good morning, Good morning. You
ready to play? What do we have here? Next? There?

Speaker 1 (02:41:58):
CA have Alisa and Joe.

Speaker 2 (02:42:00):
All right, I'm Alisa and I'm Joe. I'm a TV reporter,
I'm a promotions producer. From time to time we actually
get to work on a project together.

Speaker 15 (02:42:10):
We met at our church. Joe was working at the
church and then I was a volunteer.

Speaker 19 (02:42:13):
I asked her out, and well, he asked me on
a group date to.

Speaker 15 (02:42:16):
The State Fair and it was not a group date.

Speaker 2 (02:42:18):
End up being just me and him. No one else came.

Speaker 5 (02:42:22):
Joe and I are best friends.

Speaker 2 (02:42:23):
We are always together. We love to be around each other. Yeah,
I mean, there's nobody else I'd rather spend time with.

Speaker 15 (02:42:29):
Joe's very mature, very laid back and kind and calm.
I'm like, let's go.

Speaker 2 (02:42:34):
All right, all right, Melissa and Joe. All right, they
met a church. Let's see what kind of stuff they're
looking for in this round of stupid house hunters.

Speaker 15 (02:42:43):
Joe wants a house that has woods in the back
because he was a kid.

Speaker 2 (02:42:47):
He lives in a house that.

Speaker 15 (02:42:48):
Had woods in the field in the back, and they
would play in the backyard.

Speaker 1 (02:42:51):
One of our kids don't.

Speaker 6 (02:42:52):
Want to play in the woods.

Speaker 2 (02:42:53):
If the kids don't, I will, So he wants to
play in the backyard.

Speaker 15 (02:42:57):
I'm looking for a traditional style home that looks brand new.
I need.

Speaker 2 (02:43:03):
All right, So she's looking for a traditional style home
that looks brand new. Everybody wants exactly what they had
as a kid. It's so weird on that show, all right,
super weird.

Speaker 1 (02:43:12):
She's looking options here, a office space large enough for
her Etsy shop, b yard space large enough for archery training,
or see a kitchen nice enough for Instagram videos.

Speaker 2 (02:43:26):
I mean she is a reporter. Yeah, and she didn't
seem to care about the woods, and that would be
a lot of land. Yeah. I think the kitchen put
me down for kitchen. Kitchen. The kitchen. Yeah, kitchen would
be the easiest guest. That would be the easiest guest. Yeah,
that's quiet. Hmm. I wanted my guts telling me the

(02:43:54):
Etsy shop though. Really. Yeah, I will not be swayed
by your peer.

Speaker 1 (02:43:58):
Pressure trying to pressure.

Speaker 4 (02:44:00):
If everybody's guessing kitchen, I'm going I feel pressure. I
don't think camera would give us spears and arrows.

Speaker 1 (02:44:08):
Or maybe he's stricken us.

Speaker 2 (02:44:10):
So yours is kitchen? Yes, all right, Greg, kitchen, kitchen menace.
I'm going easy with kitchen.

Speaker 7 (02:44:16):
I see the Etsy too, because she'll be like, oh,
I'm a TV personality, I'm gonna get money off my Etsy.

Speaker 2 (02:44:22):
Yeah all right. And then I'm saying the Etsy store, Kevin,
what's your guess I'll say kitchen, Well, for your for
your sake, I hope you're right.

Speaker 1 (02:44:31):
Let's find out, Stupid house Hunters, what are you looking for?

Speaker 15 (02:44:34):
I need a nice kitchen, big island, really nice corratops,
tall cabinet, and I like to cook. But I mostly
like to cook. I love to post it on social media.
Hey guys, so today I'm going to show you how
to make spaghetti in one pot?

Speaker 2 (02:44:49):
A right, Kevin? Hell, wow, tomorrow will make toast one
pot spaghetti.

Speaker 1 (02:44:59):
How do you do it?

Speaker 4 (02:45:00):
He's like, what it's like Woody and his little Mike
Mike Wave MC and cheese ball?

Speaker 1 (02:45:03):
Right, it's in one pot?

Speaker 2 (02:45:04):
How is the best ball ever? Weird? How do you
do it? How do you hard boil legs? Well, they
do have a video about how to boil water. I
guess there's some people out there that don't know how
to do that. I guess. Kevin. Congratulations you are a
winner on Stupid House Hunter. Yeah I'm right. Yeah, all right,
sounds great. A man, thank you for listening the wood Show.

(02:45:25):
Make sure you tell all your friends about the show
and the station. Okay, all right, sounds good, A right man.
Hang on a second Tyler's gonna get all your information.

Speaker 5 (02:45:32):
Man, as you nailed a kitchen was the easiest guest?

Speaker 2 (02:45:35):
Really? Was you want you one more? Yeah? Yeah, all right,
be a little late, but who cares. Yeah, let's go
to how about let's see, let's go to John. Good morning, John,
Good morning? Hey, ready to play? I'm ready? Who do
we have? Scott and Rebecca? All right, here's Scott and Rebecca.

Speaker 30 (02:45:54):
My name is Scott, and I'm a middle school teacher
and I coach boys basketball.

Speaker 14 (02:45:58):
I'm Rebecca and I am I'm a high school science teacher.

Speaker 2 (02:46:01):
We met at the same school.

Speaker 14 (02:46:03):
We knew each other for two years before we ever talked,
and when we did, it just rolled. And we've been
married now for three years and loving it.

Speaker 30 (02:46:12):
Rebecca's strong willed and she's confidence.

Speaker 2 (02:46:15):
I love that she pushes me out of my comfort zone.

Speaker 30 (02:46:17):
We went in Loveland. It's close to Fort Collins, which
is the college town feel. We see a lot of
microbreweries opening. We really like tasting beer that people have
made that really, you know, ninety of the country doesn't
even have access.

Speaker 2 (02:46:30):
To what's christ Yeah, because it's cooler because nobody else
has it. That's sad, because.

Speaker 4 (02:46:35):
Every city does every city has fifteen microbrewers?

Speaker 2 (02:46:39):
Yeah, bags, Yeah, it's cool to be into it, but
like that, that's the reason you like it because nobody
else has excess to this Texas camera and it's made
by you know people, those robots, right, yeah, artificial intelligence.

Speaker 1 (02:46:54):
I know I prefer robot beer.

Speaker 2 (02:46:55):
Yeah, thank you. All right, So that is Scott and Rebecca.
Let's get a little bit more about what they're looking for.
I wouldn't mind getting a little more creative.

Speaker 30 (02:47:04):
Something that stands out in the neighborhood and as someone
drives by, they say, that's a really cool looking house.

Speaker 2 (02:47:11):
What would be really nice in our new house? Three bedrooms,
two baths. They'd also like an upgraded kitchen.

Speaker 30 (02:47:17):
We're definitely looking for more up to date appliances.

Speaker 14 (02:47:20):
One of my fears is that all of the appliances
are going to break on us within that first year,
and we're not going to be able to afford so
many appliance fixes.

Speaker 2 (02:47:29):
I think we're both looking for all right, I hate
this guy. Let me tell you why, because he's the
first of all with that whole micro brew thing about
like having access to something that not the rest of
the country has access to. And then he's always worried
about like people driving by going that's a cool house.
Like this guy has such insecurity issues. You just you
could hear it on House Hunters. That sucks. Yep, such

(02:47:53):
a good show. I hate this guy. Yere you go,
all right, what are the options? All right?

Speaker 1 (02:47:58):
Are they looking for A A reg elation half basketball
court for lessons, B, A large room dedicated to homeschooling
and micro brewing, or C a backyard that has room
for bee hives. O.

Speaker 2 (02:48:19):
I was gonna say, because he's a basketball coach, I
was gonna say maybe private lessons. It could be his side.

Speaker 4 (02:48:25):
Hustle be cool to look out for the street.

Speaker 2 (02:48:28):
But all that talk about the the micro brewer, Yeah,
they seem like maybe the kind of douchebags that would
have their own and homeschooling, yeah, home brewer.

Speaker 1 (02:48:38):
But they also seem like idiots that would be into be.

Speaker 14 (02:48:45):
With Bees.

Speaker 2 (02:48:46):
I'm going with Bees as well, because she's a science teacher. Okay,
h okay, uh you know what put me down for.
I'm just gonna go with the micro brewth will go
with B. Maybe you say bees, Yes, what about you, Greg?
I'll do the room for homeschooling and beer. All right,
so that's an option b alright, so bees, all right,

(02:49:14):
you're not confusing at all. All right, So John, what
do you think?

Speaker 12 (02:49:20):
You know?

Speaker 1 (02:49:20):
I think I'm gonna go with bees.

Speaker 2 (02:49:23):
The be the big backyard for bee hives, the bihives.

Speaker 30 (02:49:30):
I think we're both looking for a large backyard, a
space for a garden, a space for a chicken coop,
maybe a bee hive.

Speaker 2 (02:49:43):
Yeah, John, congratulations, you are what are on stupid house Hunters.

Speaker 4 (02:49:49):
It's like they're checking off every hipster stupid.

Speaker 2 (02:49:52):
That I mentioned. I hate these people.

Speaker 1 (02:49:56):
Here's the question, though, Do you like any of the
couples on the show?

Speaker 2 (02:49:59):
Yes, some time I hated everybody. They all sucked. Yeah,
you had the obstacle you had to listen.

Speaker 8 (02:50:09):
Joe right because she wants to do how to make
spaghetti for Instagram?

Speaker 2 (02:50:15):
And Scott and Rebecca they're the worst, you know.

Speaker 4 (02:50:17):
I like a couple of a couple of times ago
we had the gay couple who are like mega rich.

Speaker 2 (02:50:21):
Yeah, throw etiquette parties. Those guys are They were awesome. John, congratulations,
you hang on one second. We'll get all your information
and thank you for listening to the Wood Show. Make
sure you tell everybody about the show in the station. Okay,
oh yeah, all right man, hang on one second. There
you go. Nice job camera. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:50:48):
Oga breath