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December 27, 2024 98 mins
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
It is due to the graphic nature of this program,
old listener discretion.

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Is it lies.

Speaker 3 (00:17):
The Woody Show?

Speaker 4 (00:19):
I believe.

Speaker 5 (00:23):
This is the Woody Show.

Speaker 6 (00:26):
Insensitivity Training.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
Class is now in session.

Speaker 5 (00:44):
A good morning, everybody. Today is Friday, Friday morning. It
is December the twenty seventh, twenty twenty four. We are
the Woody Show. My name is Whatdy? That is Greg Gore,
Hey Menace. He is our social media director. We have
Gina Grand the newest member of the show. SeaBASS is here.

(01:07):
We got Sammy Bort and Caroline Woody Show production department.
We got Morgan our associate producer, Vaughn our video producer.
We are not live here today. We are on our
holiday break, but we're gonna be back to start a
brand new year of The Woodie Show on Monday, January sixth.
But there's some really good stuff lined up for you today.

(01:28):
And Greg, you know what we say. If you haven't
heard it, it's new to you. That's right. That said,
we'd still like to hear your thoughts on anything that
you hear on the show today. If there's an opinion
or a story you want to add. There are a
lot of ways to do that. Best way would be
the after hours voicemail. Anytime you can leave that message.
Just call eight seven seven forty four Woody. That's eight

(01:48):
seven seven forty four Woody. Email us email at the
woodieshow dot com and of course on social media find us,
follow us on the social media platform of your choice
at the Woody Show. Ye coming up for you on
show today. Action packed is a phrase that comes to mind.
Of course, he got the failed stories. We're gonna do
the du iq Friday dad jokes. Oh yeah, coming up,

(02:09):
plus another great game that we all love. Fat Chick
Skinny Chick Now twenty twenty four was the return after
many many years of not being played on the show.
But yeah, the return of Fat Chick Skinny Chick and
a last man standing topic, the question being what's the
dumbest thing you've ever done on a dare?

Speaker 7 (02:29):
Oh boy?

Speaker 5 (02:30):
So that's coming up here on this Friday morning on
The Woody Show, and we will start here with a
round of bitch be Trippin'. Alright, blonde moments you could
call them eight seven seven forty four Woodie text over
to two to two nine eighty seven. He almost felt

(02:50):
blonde like the minute. I mean Sammy, you're not a
real blonde.

Speaker 7 (02:54):
I was when I was a kid. Huh yeah, I'm blind.

Speaker 5 (02:57):
Yeah, I guess that happens some kids are born. Yeah,
super Bowl when I was a kid. Yeah. Anyway, but yeah,
you said something. My wife is the queen of this.
You say something immediately go oh my god, what I say?
Bitch be tripping. Let's go right to uh Cat. Hey,
good morning, Cat. How are you?

Speaker 8 (03:16):
Good morning?

Speaker 2 (03:16):
Are you guys?

Speaker 5 (03:17):
We're doing fantastic? All right, So you're bitch be tripping
blonde moment? What do you got?

Speaker 8 (03:21):
Yeah? So I worked for a design and build firm
and we have a cabinet supplier in California, and we
the girl didn't hear back from them for about a day,
and she asked me if it was yesterday in California
and if that was why she didn't hear.

Speaker 9 (03:37):
Back from them, and it was.

Speaker 8 (03:39):
It got so bad as a girl, it's three hours
And I said, I'm going to google. It was ridiculous. Yes, yeah,
let's California move to China.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
That's yeah, yeah, crazy. Yeah, all right, that's a great story.
Thank you so much for Sharon.

Speaker 6 (04:04):
I love that one.

Speaker 5 (04:05):
Let's go to uh Catherine Hey, good morning, Catherine.

Speaker 10 (04:09):
Good morning. How are you guys doing great?

Speaker 5 (04:12):
All right, So what's your bitchb tripping blonde moment story.

Speaker 10 (04:16):
Well, it's not only a bitch be tripping. It is
also a very embarrassing moment. So I had a huge
water bed and I'm talking huge. It had mirrors on
the top. I called it the freak bed. Okay, so
I'm moving and I booked these movers. They come in,
We take the bed apart, and everything's great, wonderful. We
get it to the new house. We have all these pieces,
all this stuff on the floor and I looked at

(04:37):
both of the guys and I said, okay, boys.

Speaker 9 (04:40):
Let's get to screw in.

Speaker 8 (04:44):
Oh my god, the bed.

Speaker 10 (04:45):
And they were dying. And I'm sure the brains went
really south at that moment. But that was a super
dumb moment.

Speaker 5 (04:54):
They got excited for a second.

Speaker 10 (04:55):
Though, they were really happy for a minute.

Speaker 11 (04:59):
Yet b just be tripping all the time, be tripping
all the time.

Speaker 5 (05:03):
All right, thank you for the call. Appreciate Listen. What
a show like this one five six two. I asked
my sister one time what s u V stood for,
and she said, super ultra vehicle. But what does the
stand for?

Speaker 12 (05:18):
Uh, super all Terrain vehicle.

Speaker 6 (05:22):
SUV?

Speaker 5 (05:23):
Anybody, Sammy, I got it?

Speaker 13 (05:26):
Sub all terrain vehicle.

Speaker 5 (05:29):
Sub alter terrain.

Speaker 11 (05:30):
Ultra al terrain, ultra rain terrain.

Speaker 5 (05:34):
All right, uh, Morgan, let's ask you, Morgan. What does
s u V stand for?

Speaker 8 (05:40):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (05:40):
God, sub ultra vehicle utility vehicle.

Speaker 5 (05:49):
We got to what's the first?

Speaker 7 (05:51):
What's the submissive?

Speaker 5 (05:55):
Superior menace? Come on, Doug?

Speaker 7 (05:58):
Oh, I thought that was a good guy.

Speaker 12 (05:59):
Oh thanks, Is it sub?

Speaker 11 (06:01):
So?

Speaker 5 (06:02):
What what would be SUBO?

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, suburban.

Speaker 5 (06:07):
Utility?

Speaker 11 (06:11):
You mentioned it?

Speaker 5 (06:11):
I heard, Yeah, I have my coffee.

Speaker 12 (06:16):
A what a reference to?

Speaker 14 (06:20):
What?

Speaker 15 (06:21):
Greg?

Speaker 6 (06:21):
Reference to a vehicle?

Speaker 12 (06:22):
Oh?

Speaker 16 (06:23):
All terrain vehicle activity activity? What about a u TV?

Speaker 5 (06:29):
What about a ut I?

Speaker 17 (06:30):
What about law and order s V U?

Speaker 5 (06:32):
Oh? Oh yeah that one?

Speaker 17 (06:36):
Victims in it? Yeah? Oh yeah, what'd you say?

Speaker 5 (06:38):
Special vie?

Speaker 17 (06:39):
Okay, yeah, not sexual victims.

Speaker 5 (06:42):
Five one. I was walking into an elevator while on
my phone. I noticed the doors had closed, but confused
as to why the elevator wasn't moving. For a moment,
I started to panic and we thought I maybe am dying,
But then I realized I just never pressed the button
to the floor. I needed to go, bitch, yea died? Yea,
that's eight seven four? Whatdye Gina?

Speaker 15 (07:02):
Grab?

Speaker 5 (07:02):
What do you got?

Speaker 17 (07:03):
So we went to visit my mom not too long ago,
and she was sneezing and sounded horrible and said she
had allergies. And I was like this, this sounds like COVID.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
I don't have COVID.

Speaker 17 (07:13):
I don't have come like, okay, I'm just just allergies.

Speaker 5 (07:16):
Okay.

Speaker 17 (07:16):
Everybody says that she comes home thissious. Her COVID test
out of the trash can, slams it in front of me.
It's like, see, I go, yeah, I see two lines
you have COVID.

Speaker 18 (07:28):
Oh.

Speaker 5 (07:29):
I thought that meant I was fine. I thought it
was allergies.

Speaker 17 (07:31):
My bitch mother be dripping.

Speaker 5 (07:35):
Yeah. Read the directions? Yeah yeah, well, I mean what
does it say there? All right? What about you, Sammy?

Speaker 13 (07:40):
I had a friend who got into the fire department,
and our other friend is actually a guy. He was like, yeah,
so if you get an ember alert, call this guy.
And we were like, oh my god, great joke. That's hilarious.
He was dead serious. He was like, no, the amber
alerts that you get on your phone. And we were like,
you mean the amber alerts for children I get abducted,

(08:01):
And he's like, oh, I thought that was for fires.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
Fires in a blue suv.

Speaker 6 (08:10):
They should have ember alert that they do.

Speaker 5 (08:15):
It's not confusing at all. In the movie seven, everyone
dies for committing one of these seven deadly sins. In
the scene where you see the word gluttony written on
the wall, my sister said, ooh, gluten, it's very simple.
Bulletin' be tripping eight seven, seven forty four. What he
text over to two two nine eighty seven. Somebody said

(08:36):
when they were in college, they're on the phone with
their mom. They saw a rainbow and they asked their
mom if she could see it. She lived two hours away.
All right, bitch, be tripping anybody else in the room
before I go to some of these other ones.

Speaker 6 (08:50):
Just throwing away brand new things that I printed.

Speaker 5 (08:52):
Okay, yeah, how about this one. She doesn't do it now,
But my wife used tide pods by ripping them open
and pouring them into the washing. She's not the only one. Yeah,
all right. My boyfriend thought that Harriet Tubman was a
railroad conductor and the underground railroad was literally underground. Oh wow,
this is an adult should be tripping. A guy thought

(09:14):
his car was stolen. Turned out he had driven it
across the street to buy soda, walked home and forgot
that he moved it. Whoops, bitch be tripp.

Speaker 6 (09:21):
But have you ever looked for something while you're holding it?

Speaker 8 (09:23):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (09:24):
Yes, I've looked for glasses while wearing.

Speaker 5 (09:26):
Are your phones in your pocket and you're looking for it.

Speaker 17 (09:29):
Using your glasses to find your glasses?

Speaker 5 (09:31):
There's one that says my husband was doing some minor
electrical work in our house. He told me the wire
was hot, and I asked him how long it would
take it to cool down. Bitch be tripping it. I
asked my boyfriend to get me a can of gas
for the lawnmower, my electric lawnmower. I literally face palmed
as it came out of my mouth.

Speaker 6 (09:50):
I just remembered one of my favorite Woody bitch be
tripping story when we were at a crowded, dark restaurant
and somebody asked Woody if he knew what time it was.
So he reaches into his pocket, takes out his phone,
puts his thumb on it so we can get some light,
and aims it at his watch. Right I said, you know,
you could have just looked at your.

Speaker 5 (10:11):
Bitch be tripping that you just took My first instinct
is look at my watch. Yeah, well there we go,
bitch be tripping everybody. Yeah, the Woody Show. So we
have a text here three one seven, I said, I
hope this comes across as an a babe and not
an eye roll.

Speaker 15 (10:30):
What we got.

Speaker 5 (10:31):
My family has been through some serious car accidents this year.
I was involved in a head on collision. My son
was hit by a drunk driver. So driving has become
one of the things I fear the most. But I
just wanted to shout out y'all for keeping me calm
during my commutes. You make me laugh and I think
y'all are amazing. That is from Anne. Thank you Ann
for the nice words, and sorry to hear about your

(10:53):
rough year.

Speaker 6 (10:53):
It sucks. It's not an aubabe or an I roll.
It's just that that sucks.

Speaker 5 (10:58):
I mean, it's an a babe. She said some very
nice things. That is about us. That's always all I
found that clip. By the way, right before the break,
we were talking about.

Speaker 11 (11:06):
Greg's dad and how he drived drunk all the time day.

Speaker 5 (11:09):
But the story about the little girl who was at
the Japanese restaurant anyway with her parents, and then they
gave her wine instead of the apple juice they had ordered,
and she was like drunk, and then she was like
point one two the blood alcohol content, and Sea Bass
was saying like, oh, well, point one two almost needs

(11:31):
to be legal, yeah, right, And so it reminded me
of this clip. This is a news clip from years
and from the eighties where people are reacting to the
new laws against drinking and driving. This is what the
public had to say on the news as these new
drinking and driving laws were being instated.

Speaker 13 (11:50):
Well, any attempt to restrict drinking and driving here is
viewed by.

Speaker 7 (11:53):
Some as downright undemocratic.

Speaker 5 (11:55):
He's got to get in common. It is one of
a fella king.

Speaker 13 (11:57):
I put in a hard night's work, put in eleven
twelve hours, and they ain't getting you drunk in the
Lacey rang one or two beers. Laws where you can't
drink when you want to, can't you have to wear
a seat belt when you're driving. Presume we're gonna become
this country belt?

Speaker 5 (12:18):
What's doing all right?

Speaker 3 (12:22):
All right?

Speaker 5 (12:22):
Well, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is time
for today's dumb ass contest. And today's dumb ass contest
is the cu Yeah all right, Sea Bass, watching's playing
the way the game works, everybody, please.

Speaker 11 (12:35):
I will because it's easy. All you do is you
listen to me talk to a drunk person. You guess
whether the questions I'm asking the drunk person, whether that
drunk person can get them right? Two times out of three,
So yeah, you're not answering the questions. You guess whether
it's a drunk person you can answer these questions, but
he guess right, Like I said, two times out of three,
you win?

Speaker 5 (12:52):
All right, eight seven, seven forty four? What is the number?
And say hello to our contestant. Let's say hello to Steven.
Hey morning, Steven, how are you?

Speaker 19 (13:02):
Hey?

Speaker 15 (13:02):
Good morning?

Speaker 19 (13:03):
What is sw y'all doing?

Speaker 5 (13:04):
We're doing We're doing great, all right. So again you're
just guessing on the on the drunk here, and then
we're also just for funzies, guessing if Menace and Sammy
will get the answer right, yeah, and tell us all
about this drunk person here. See Bass, Well, this is
Katie and it's her birthday. So what do you do?
It's your birthday?

Speaker 6 (13:20):
Greg, you get annihilated.

Speaker 11 (13:22):
And you also dress up more sash, right, so that
way people will buy you free drinks. Yes, of course,
thank you, So Carrie, Katie's gonna.

Speaker 5 (13:28):
Tell us all about that, all right, So just use
this as a gauge you're just how drunk or not
with it?

Speaker 12 (13:32):
She is?

Speaker 6 (13:33):
All right?

Speaker 5 (13:33):
As we get into the eclips here Steve, and here we.

Speaker 11 (13:35):
Go us on your sash birthday, princess.

Speaker 5 (13:39):
And what birthday number is this for you?

Speaker 20 (13:41):
Katie?

Speaker 5 (13:41):
Twenty two?

Speaker 1 (13:43):
How are you celebrating drunk? Free old people buying you drinks?

Speaker 20 (13:48):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (13:49):
But do you know what they're giving you?

Speaker 5 (13:51):
Sex on the beach?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Delicious? What are the ingredients of a sex on the beach?

Speaker 5 (13:56):
Grenadine? Alcohol and orange juice? Sweet? Your birthday?

Speaker 20 (14:03):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (14:07):
Wow? Okay, well she sounds like she's having a great times.
I forgot is alcohol rum or? Is it vodka?

Speaker 11 (14:14):
I believe it's rum that tropical?

Speaker 5 (14:17):
All right? Well that is Katie. And so there you go, Steven.
Question number one coming at you, you guys, ready over there, alright,
d uy q, Here we go.

Speaker 1 (14:27):
The Battle of Normandy occurred in what country?

Speaker 5 (14:29):
All right? Battle of Normandy.

Speaker 11 (14:31):
While they're mulling that over it's actually vodka, cranberry orange
and peach snops. You can judge it up with grenadine.

Speaker 6 (14:39):
But I guess always.

Speaker 11 (14:43):
They don't always know, all right, So, just in case
you already forgot Menacing.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
The Battle of Normandy occurred in what country?

Speaker 6 (14:49):
All right?

Speaker 5 (14:50):
Will all these folks know it? So I'm gonna say
no for Katie.

Speaker 6 (14:56):
Right, that's the safe bet.

Speaker 5 (14:58):
Uh m hm uh. You know what I'm gonna say.
Sammy looks oddly confident on this one. I'm gonna say
that she does know. There's a reason why she might
be confident, but I'll tell you later. Okay, all right,
So I'll say yes for Sammy, yes for Menace, sweep
it well, no, no for Katie, but no or yes
for Sammy and Menace.

Speaker 6 (15:19):
What do you think, Greg, Well, I think this is
probably the easiest question we've ever had. But I'm also okay,
Katie no confident with that, Sammy, no Menace. I'm gonna
say yes. All right?

Speaker 5 (15:35):
All right, Morgan, what do you think I think?

Speaker 7 (15:37):
I'm gonna get crazy? I'm going triple yes.

Speaker 5 (15:39):
Get nuts? Wow, Why you are a lunatic? I'm not
even confident in my answer. Sammy and menace. Do you
think that Katie will get it yes? Or no?

Speaker 7 (15:52):
No?

Speaker 15 (15:53):
No?

Speaker 5 (15:53):
All right, Steven, what do you think I think Kay's
gonna get it wrong? You think he's gonna get it right?

Speaker 6 (16:00):
All right?

Speaker 1 (16:01):
Question number one here of it a d U i
Q Battle of Normandy occurred in what country?

Speaker 5 (16:06):
All right, Sammy?

Speaker 7 (16:07):
Japan?

Speaker 5 (16:08):
Japan. I was wrong on that menace.

Speaker 12 (16:11):
I know that's not right, but I played Germany.

Speaker 5 (16:13):
Germany, they were involved.

Speaker 11 (16:16):
By the way, this is a repeater from about two
months ago.

Speaker 5 (16:18):
It would be France.

Speaker 16 (16:19):
Yeah, Like there's no beaches in Germany, right, is it
because all the Olympic stuff?

Speaker 11 (16:24):
Well it was day recently, a big, big d Sammy
in particular, she was so into the maybe they would
do like all this kind of stuff about France.

Speaker 5 (16:32):
I don't know if they did any swimming. Yeah, well no, no.

Speaker 11 (16:35):
Because it was a repeater, I figured, oh, maybe she
retained some knowledge.

Speaker 19 (16:38):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (16:38):
I typically remember the repeaters, but I didn't remember this one.

Speaker 5 (16:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (16:41):
I mean also, you know, being like a patriotic historical
person who would re memory well, right, the people who
died that day.

Speaker 17 (16:47):
The beaches, right, I knew the beaches of Normandy.

Speaker 5 (16:50):
If you said, what is it.

Speaker 7 (16:50):
I'd say beach.

Speaker 5 (16:53):
Like D Day and whatever, but the died for your freedom.
But just talking about like what percentage of the sand
there is still like shrapnel like from from all the
AMMO and stuff. That's still yeah, like if you took
a sample of the of the sand, soil whatever from
the beach, it's still like like two or three percent.

(17:14):
Which is I mean considering how long ago that was. Yeah,
that's still like shows up that strong.

Speaker 15 (17:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (17:21):
Nuts, All right, Well, let's see Katie knows. Let's get
you on the board here, Steven. Question number one for
the d u i Q.

Speaker 1 (17:28):
The Battle of Normandy occurred in what country?

Speaker 20 (17:32):
Nor?

Speaker 5 (17:34):
I don't know the rest of the word, Norwegia.

Speaker 1 (17:37):
And what else do you know about Norwegia.

Speaker 5 (17:41):
People? Norwegia know the rest of the word Stephen, you're
on the board, okay. Question number two for the u
i Q.

Speaker 14 (17:55):
Walter, Skyler, Jesse, and Guss are all characters in what show?

Speaker 5 (17:59):
Oh let's see. No for Katie, you don't think so?

Speaker 15 (18:04):
Nope?

Speaker 5 (18:04):
Uh no for Katie. No for Menace.

Speaker 6 (18:10):
He used to be a fan of the show.

Speaker 11 (18:11):
I thought maybe back in the eighties.

Speaker 5 (18:12):
Wait, can you play it again?

Speaker 12 (18:14):
I didn't hear all the names.

Speaker 5 (18:15):
That was a that was a really raw thing to
do there. Okay, no clues. I'm sorry. No, it's not
even a clue because it.

Speaker 14 (18:22):
Was that.

Speaker 5 (18:24):
It's not a clue.

Speaker 7 (18:27):
Well, why are you trying to confuse me?

Speaker 5 (18:28):
Because it's not from the eighties. You're intentionally trying to
confuse them. That's the joke. No, that's not see, that's
what I'm saying.

Speaker 15 (18:34):
Like that.

Speaker 5 (18:34):
I don't think that's fair. If you're intentionally trying to
confuse them, that's also the joke. Okay.

Speaker 14 (18:39):
Walter, Skyler, Jesse, and Guss are all characters in What show?

Speaker 6 (18:44):
I'm gonna I'll just go triple.

Speaker 5 (18:46):
No, triple no. What do you think they're? Morgan? Triple no,
triple no? Yeah, what the hell, let's go triple no
on this one? Crazy Menace and Sammy? What do you think?
Do you think that you think Katie's gonna get this one?

Speaker 20 (19:00):
No?

Speaker 5 (19:00):
All right, Steven, what do.

Speaker 19 (19:01):
You think I'm wrong with the triple Also.

Speaker 5 (19:05):
Another triple no? For question number two.

Speaker 14 (19:08):
Walter Skyler, Jesse, and Gus are all characters in What show?

Speaker 5 (19:12):
Sammy, Breaking Bad, Breaking Bad, Menace? Oh, I put the
o C the O C. Well, Sammy is right. How
don't you watch the menace?

Speaker 16 (19:20):
I did, but I'm not paying attention to do. It's
high five, right Skyler Skyler is the wife? Skyler sounds
like it's It's a nonsense name.

Speaker 5 (19:32):
That's for sure, based on the history of this segment.
Do you really need to like throw them off?

Speaker 11 (19:37):
It's fun at the point, right, I see fun to
add confusion to these idiots, is it all right?

Speaker 5 (19:43):
Question number two d u i Q.

Speaker 14 (19:46):
Walter, Skyler, Jesse and Gus are all characters in what
show Cinderella?

Speaker 1 (19:51):
They made a show out of Cinderella.

Speaker 20 (19:53):
There's a Gus rat.

Speaker 5 (19:55):
Oh yeah, I know the fat one is Gus. I
think you know what? I think that is true? Yim Wow?

Speaker 6 (20:00):
Would an acceptable answer have been the greatest show of
all time, past present, in the future.

Speaker 5 (20:05):
Parentheses we have Stephen, Congratulations, you are a winner here
on the d uy Q.

Speaker 19 (20:12):
Awesome, awesome, Thank you guys.

Speaker 5 (20:14):
You're welcome. Hey, and thank you for listening to the
wood show Man. Have yourself a great weekend and hang
on so we can get all your information. Okay, I
have a good weekend.

Speaker 15 (20:22):
Also, thanks to there you.

Speaker 11 (20:23):
Go, there's there is Steven gus Ratt. He wears that
yellow shirt that's a belly shirt because he's so fat. Yeah, yeah,
see and then a little green cap.

Speaker 5 (20:30):
Poor rat. Well, he didn't need three questions in order
to win this contest, but we do have a third
question here for the d U y Q.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
Give me an example of a pacaderm.

Speaker 5 (20:42):
A pacaderm triple no, yeah, locked in no, triple no.

Speaker 15 (20:46):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (20:47):
And see Morgan doesn't even have the advantage of looking
at Sammy's blank face. Yeah, it's a no, which is
quite blank.

Speaker 19 (20:52):
At the moment, I'm.

Speaker 5 (20:54):
Gonna say, oh man, Katie, no, Sammy, no, because I
can see the face. Uh, menace. I have a feeling
he'll never mind rub his eyes. Triple triple no, menace.

(21:14):
And Sammy, what do you think about Katie? You think
she'll get it?

Speaker 20 (21:17):
No?

Speaker 5 (21:17):
Alright? Question number three d U i.

Speaker 1 (21:20):
Q, give me an example of a pacaderm.

Speaker 5 (21:23):
All right, Sammy an ark an ard var that might
be right, might be right? Menace I put as a possum.
That's not right, that is not right.

Speaker 11 (21:33):
Classically you're thinking rhinos and hippo right.

Speaker 5 (21:37):
Let me see.

Speaker 11 (21:37):
And by the way, when I was looking this up,
just for funzies. Apparently a PACKADRM is no longer. It's
not a an official correct zoological classification because just having
thick skin doesn't make you necessarily a member of a
certain faced.

Speaker 5 (21:51):
Rdvark, Yeah is an ard.

Speaker 6 (21:55):
It might be yes, the.

Speaker 5 (21:59):
Five nice well one? Was that just a wild guest?

Speaker 13 (22:02):
Honestly, No, I think it was in there somehow. I
knew that because it has Yeah, it was the first
thing I thought of, was Ardvark.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
I don't know why that's gonna be.

Speaker 5 (22:10):
You gotta be like one of the only people that
would be their first guy, like again, elephant would be.
But it makes sense. It has thick skin.

Speaker 11 (22:15):
This is very much a what's that the Indian version
of who wants to be a millionaire?

Speaker 15 (22:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (22:19):
Uh oh uh, yeah, I know you're talking some millionaire.

Speaker 11 (22:24):
Like her mind went blank and then like something in
the back of her.

Speaker 7 (22:26):
Brain it didn't go blake. I thought Ardvark. Maybe it's
because I was a big fan of Arthur growing up.

Speaker 11 (22:31):
I'm not sure it could be brain matters that she
got her first question right in like three weeks, so.

Speaker 5 (22:38):
I got breaking.

Speaker 7 (22:39):
She got breaking the question before this right.

Speaker 5 (22:41):
She got two out of three.

Speaker 20 (22:44):
Age.

Speaker 5 (22:44):
I was just testing you. I think you owe her
an apology. You know what, clearly the rogain is getting
your brain.

Speaker 11 (22:50):
Well, obviously I don't use rogaine. Don't need to, Sammy.
I apologize for forgetting about break Whatever it is, I'll
buy it. I would say I buy her breakfast, but
she says, all right.

Speaker 1 (23:00):
Question number three, d u y Q, give me an
example of a pack of dirm.

Speaker 20 (23:05):
So dirm is skin? A pack of dirm? Is that
a blade? It's a box cutter? Flu almost there. She
made a good point with the dirm I thought she
was on track. And then whatever like box cutter.

Speaker 16 (23:21):
Tape.

Speaker 5 (23:22):
Yeah, yeah, what does it have to do with skin?

Speaker 11 (23:26):
Like you're packing dirms so you're cutting it?

Speaker 5 (23:27):
Yeah, all right, cool the skin? Well that's the d
uy q. Everybody. Yes, another interesting round. Congratulations to our contestants. Steven,
we're gonna take a quick break.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
This is the Woody Show.

Speaker 5 (23:48):
Boom into another new hour insensitivity training, prey, politically correct World.
Thank you for being here giving us some of your
valuable time this morning. I'm Woodie. That's Greg Gory. It's
like there's like menace white.

Speaker 15 (24:01):
Hi.

Speaker 5 (24:02):
We got a sea bass there, Sammy phones are open
eighty seven to seven forty four wing hit us up
text two two nine eight seven. So I had a
thought about a topic that we could do like a
Last Man Standing. This is one of those where we
open up the phones and we take your calls, and
then we hear your story, and then we take another call.

(24:25):
We hear that story, we decide which is the better
one that one moves on at the end of the segment.
Whichever story is left is the one that ends up
winning a prize and the topic and I'll tell you
why here in a second. The dumbest thing you've ever
done on a dare?

Speaker 6 (24:42):
Good one.

Speaker 5 (24:43):
What's the dumbest thing you've ever done on a dare?
A lot of people have done something. Dumbest thing you've
done on a dare? Think about it. You don't got
to call in just yet. We'll be taking your calls
on that Last man standing. Best one will win a prize.
I bring it up because we finally and here's an
update of what you show. Update. We have a date

(25:03):
set for Morgan to get her tattoo. Yes, yeah right,
it's go time, yeah j time, And we don't know
how much it's going to be worth yet because we
got to spin the wheel after she actually goes through
with it afterward afterwards, so we have the date set's
what on the eighteenth, yes, okay, and she's going to

(25:24):
be going to the tattoo studio yes, And so you're
having second thoughts after, Like you were talking to Sea
Bass the other day about the actual artwork. Yeah, we
were drawing.

Speaker 6 (25:36):
We could.

Speaker 5 (25:36):
We got some AI sketches, right.

Speaker 7 (25:39):
Yeah, and I don't like how they're morbidly obese men
mopping just.

Speaker 11 (25:43):
We're okay, the thing was a man mopping her area.

Speaker 5 (25:47):
Yeah, because she does hardwood floors down there, getting are
we getting it?

Speaker 15 (25:50):
Yeah?

Speaker 11 (25:50):
So I asked AI draw me the perfect tattoo for
Morgan's pubis. And there's this fat guys with those shirts,
all sweaty, with the up it.

Speaker 7 (25:58):
The words that you typed in the search and you
said morbidly ob.

Speaker 5 (26:02):
You literally wow. Well it'll make the guys down there
doing stuff and what were okay, what was the size
that you were proposing, Sea Bass?

Speaker 11 (26:12):
Well, do you get the proper detail? I would say
six to eight inches? People to really see it, right,
otherwise what's the point, m.

Speaker 5 (26:22):
They're going to see it either way too. That's too big.

Speaker 11 (26:24):
But like you wear like you wear a nice belly shirt, Like,
what's that guy's head doing.

Speaker 5 (26:27):
Oh yeah, that's the sea bass wanted the head of
the guy with the mop to be sticking up above
the like where.

Speaker 11 (26:35):
The called the conversation piece.

Speaker 5 (26:38):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, So are you having what were your
thoughts on size small?

Speaker 7 (26:45):
Because all of my tattoos are.

Speaker 6 (26:47):
Small, okay, but small is relatively small.

Speaker 3 (26:49):
As in, you know, as if I was wearing a
bikini at the beach, you wouldn't see it because it's
mopping down, you know, like it's not like my cubes
go to my belly button type of thing.

Speaker 12 (26:59):
I mean, I don't know, you can't get the detail.

Speaker 7 (27:02):
Of course, I wanted to be small, you guys, I'm not.
I don't want this tattoo either way.

Speaker 5 (27:06):
I was gonna say about the size, maybe a little
bit bigger than like a lego figure, Oh god, like
a lego man. Yeah, kind of right as well little
inches because no, you think about that in it's like
a scale like in relation to proportion to her, especially
that area. I think it's gonna I mean, you know,
if you're just holding up in the air, it's not
gonna look very big, but once in that area I

(27:26):
say four or five for fun, and it needs to be.

Speaker 13 (27:29):
Specific to that area because if it is too big,
then it looks like a different type of tattoo.

Speaker 7 (27:33):
You want it to be in that area, thank you
see me?

Speaker 6 (27:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (27:36):
Two inches sounds good to me.

Speaker 5 (27:38):
Are you trying to do it so that if you
do decide to grow pubes out all to hide it?

Speaker 7 (27:41):
That would be great.

Speaker 3 (27:42):
Although I don't see that happening in my future. I
don't see because you don't see me switching it.

Speaker 5 (27:47):
You don't see any time. You don't see a pube
future pub.

Speaker 7 (27:50):
No pubes in my future.

Speaker 6 (27:51):
Because the tattoos she currently has are about the size
of a dime.

Speaker 7 (27:54):
I would say they're tiny. And I struggled with those.

Speaker 5 (27:58):
Hey, if they could write some one's name on a
grain of rice, they can come up with a man
mopping the floors. That's a little bit bigger than that.

Speaker 7 (28:05):
This is a good guy.

Speaker 5 (28:07):
So yeah, and we'll get the we'll get the artwork together,
we'll finalize it. We'll work with Sea bass Andy in charge.

Speaker 16 (28:13):
Oh yeah, I don't want color, Yeah, no color, This
is a black Okay, alrighty all right, yeah, oh.

Speaker 5 (28:20):
He's a black and white specialist. Yeah, I didn't know that. Cool,
it's said. It was a whole thing trying to coordinate schedules,
and so we finally, uh, we finally got that the guy.
I just want to give you guys the update because
I know it's been kind of hanging out there for
a while.

Speaker 6 (28:33):
Almost forgot about it.

Speaker 5 (28:34):
Yeah, eight seven seven four Woody. Hit us up with
your text to be a part of the show, or
send us an email email at the Woodyshow dot com.
Social media, of course, you can find us on a
social media platform of your choice. Just search for us
at the Woody Show. Right back, last man standing. Here's

(28:57):
the way it works. We've got the phones open right
now out eight seven seven forty four Woody. If you
get a busy signal, give it a second try back,
because we're going through the phones as quick as you can't,
trying to get to as many stories as we can.
We're gonna hear out one person story, then the second
person story. Between those two one we'll move on and

(29:18):
at the end of the segment, whichever wants like a
King of the Hill thing, whicheveryone's left at the end
will be a winner and we'll win a prize. The
topic for this round of Last Man Standing and we're
thinking about this after you know, morgana agree to get
this tattoo in our pubis it's just so regretable. What's
the dumbest thing you've done on a dare? What's the

(29:38):
dumbest thing you've done on a dare? Eight seven seven
forty four Woody is the number will go right to
the phone. So let's say hello to uh Doug, Doug.
Name is du what's up, Doug? How are you? What's up?
All right? So you're the first caller. Topic again, what's
the dumbest thing you've done on a dare?

Speaker 19 (30:00):
Dumbest thing done on a dare?

Speaker 5 (30:02):
Ye was?

Speaker 19 (30:03):
I was going to school down in San Diego. A
bunch of friends of ours went down to San Felipa
and Mexico to have a party for a weekend. At
the end of the party, there was a dare to
get up on the motor home before we went home
and have some tequila shots. Well, it moved on from
there and the driver wanted to get going, and we
decided not to get down and stayed on top of

(30:26):
the motor home in at beach chair for two hours
while driving back to San Diego the border, passing tequila
shots back and forth with a few buddies on top.
Stood up to pass my bottle of tequila to my friend.
My beach chair flew away. My buddy in the back
caught it in midair and handed it back to me,

(30:47):
and we sat down and kept going. Dumbest thing and.

Speaker 5 (30:51):
Nobody got hurt. Nesare pulled over.

Speaker 6 (30:52):
Nothing, team wont.

Speaker 19 (30:54):
No casualties, no pullovers. There for two hours, got a
tam passing tequila back and forth, sixty five miles an hour.

Speaker 5 (31:01):
All right, well there's there's Dirk st Yeah. All right,
hold on one second, man, we'll move on to the
second call here. Let's go to John. Good morning, John,
Hey John, John, John, Hi John. All right, so last
man standing, what's the dumbest thing you've done on a dare?

Speaker 4 (31:19):
The dumbest thing I did down the dare is back
in the high so I have a bunch of buddies.
That's some video cameras. They dared me to run through
our local shopping mall completely butt naked, nothing but a
paratox on para talks and a latex Jean Simmons mask,
stopped in the start, did a little did a little jig,
and took off, running right out in the back yard
to hop in a car.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
Oh never got caught.

Speaker 15 (31:41):
No never.

Speaker 5 (31:42):
That's a lot of penis confidence.

Speaker 15 (31:44):
I know.

Speaker 5 (31:45):
I admire that. Greg and I are both like, wow,
this guy, that's so cool.

Speaker 1 (31:49):
Streaking used to be just fun, I know.

Speaker 5 (31:51):
Now it's all right, And.

Speaker 6 (31:54):
When you throw in socks in a Jean Simmons mask,
it's hilarious.

Speaker 5 (31:59):
John. I know we're all wondering, are you well, hung man,
we're all wondering.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
I'm definitely a grower.

Speaker 15 (32:06):
Not a shower.

Speaker 5 (32:07):
Oh, grower, not a shower.

Speaker 12 (32:09):
That's why he wore the mask. Kidding.

Speaker 5 (32:13):
Yeah, all right, John, hang on one second, whose story
do we like?

Speaker 6 (32:16):
I'm gonna vote for John, Yeah, John, I appreciate that,
the prank nature of it.

Speaker 5 (32:22):
Yeah, fine, Okay, the first one is just cool.

Speaker 15 (32:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (32:26):
Number one is not really a dare.

Speaker 6 (32:27):
Yeah, I mean I would do that one. I wouldn't
do the streaking one.

Speaker 5 (32:30):
Okay, So we're all in agreement, John, Yeah, John, all right, Thanks, Doug,
appreciate you man, Thanks for listening to wood Show. All
Right's John hang on. You're still in it. Let's go
to Kelly. Good morning, Kelly, Hi, good morning. All right,
last man standing, what's the dumbest thing you've done on
a dare?

Speaker 19 (32:49):
Oh my god.

Speaker 8 (32:50):
Me and my brother were little and he dared me
to drink soda that was in the refrigerator, knowing that
I don't like souda, But he dared me, and I
did it, and it turned out to be his peek.

Speaker 5 (33:05):
Now that's some sibling stuff right there.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
That's more of a pranking wars.

Speaker 5 (33:11):
But he told her it was an old soda, which
is I guess how he got around being open uh huh, Yeah,
dare darey drink this old soda turned out to be
his peace. So it's a dare and a prank at
the same time.

Speaker 16 (33:24):
Dude, that at the same time that happened in high
school with a group of friends of mine, we had
a guy named his nickname is man Dick, and dude
he did the same thing.

Speaker 12 (33:35):
Yeah, yeah, because they thought it was mountain dew.

Speaker 6 (33:37):
Oh my god, same here, manness. What in school told
the kid this local bully said, hey, Jimmy, drink this
mountain dew and it was peak. Really apparently this is
a commedy thing. Yeah, I took a sip out of
a dip cup once. That wasn't line on purpose, No,
I was because I was sitting there and yeah I

(33:58):
grabbed the wrong thing. Oh god, yeah that was foul.
So what would you rather drink?

Speaker 5 (34:03):
Don't you know? In a way, but I'd almost rather pee.
It's gonna be cleaner, right, interesting?

Speaker 6 (34:12):
All right?

Speaker 5 (34:12):
So whose story? John running through the mall butt naked
or Kelly who drank her brothers quote old soda.

Speaker 6 (34:20):
I'm totally over analyzing this, but I'm still sticking with John,
because Kelly's was a dare to do something that if
it was a soda, not a big deal. There.

Speaker 12 (34:29):
Yeah, that's not a dare. It was a prank exactly.

Speaker 11 (34:32):
Okay, Well I was gonnavote for Kelly's. Everybody on John,
Yeah all right, Kelly, thank you for calling Lly. Yeah, yeah,
you set your mouth on fire.

Speaker 5 (34:42):
I'm assuming. Let's see, let's go to uh Ben, Hey,
good morning, Ben, Ben, Good morning?

Speaker 15 (34:49):
Yo?

Speaker 5 (34:50):
All right, So last man standing, what's the dumbest thing
you've done on a dare?

Speaker 2 (34:55):
Well, first of all, I can't say I want to
brag about this or out about it. But everything starts
when you're drunk. Now, No, absolutely not. I'm at work.

Speaker 5 (35:09):
Okay, that means drunk.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
Everything bad, I guess in my life. Long story short,
in high school at a party, big party, lots of
cars in the parking lot. Guy ends up eating a
tequila worm.

Speaker 4 (35:26):
That guy was so passed out.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
Somebody dares me to jump up on his car and like,
do a dance, put some dance in the hood, which
I gladly did. Like, oh, you dare me to do this,
I will show you how drunk and stupid I can
be car Oh yeah, he didn't deserve it at all either.

Speaker 5 (35:54):
Like, is that why you became an alcoholic? Because this guilty?
Is that why you're drunk right now at work every second? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (36:05):
Can I tell you that I actually was an alcoholic
but being recovered for ten years?

Speaker 5 (36:12):
Yeah, look, you have no side effects. I don't even
know we weren't. All right, Let's see Ben's story or
John story.

Speaker 2 (36:22):
That's just kind of stupid. Like I said, I'm sorry.

Speaker 12 (36:26):
I can hear, yeah, he's feel bad about it.

Speaker 15 (36:29):
I get it.

Speaker 5 (36:30):
I can hear the regret and the alcohol in your breath.
Just let it go. I'm kidding kidding. It's jokes, man, joke,
It's just all right. So, uh, what do you think
Greg whose story? Uh?

Speaker 6 (36:45):
I sense Ben's remorse. I think it's genuine. I'm still
sticking with John streaking on the story.

Speaker 16 (36:50):
Minute yeah, through the mall because Ben was just being as.

Speaker 11 (36:55):
Much of a there hey go go don't It wasn't
dangerous to him.

Speaker 5 (36:58):
It may be a dick. Okay, all right, Ben, thank
you for the call, appreciate it. Thanks for being a
good sport. Let it go bend you all right, thanks man.
Let's go to Travis, say good morning, Travis.

Speaker 15 (37:13):
Good morning, good morning, good morning.

Speaker 5 (37:15):
All right, So what's the what's the dumbest thing you've
done on a dare?

Speaker 9 (37:18):
I've done quite a few, had time to think about
it listening to the others. So one of the ones
I could think of the dumbest dare I did, I
believe I was in the fifth grade. I was known
as probably one of the class clowns.

Speaker 15 (37:30):
Yea.

Speaker 9 (37:31):
So it was after lunch. I was after lunch and
a couple of friends are like, I dare you to
make a scene in the class after lunch. I'm like, okay,
So thinking about it, thinking about it, we go to class,
We sit down probite five minutes in and the teachers like,
this is a time when it wooden desk. You know
you could open it and close it?

Speaker 5 (37:50):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 9 (37:55):
So the teacher was like, what's that smell? Why is
the smell like smoke?

Speaker 19 (38:00):
And everybody's quiet.

Speaker 9 (38:01):
I'm staying quiet, and you know, a couple of seconds
passing by, you see smoke coming out of my desk.
So he obviously sees it. He comes opens up my desk,
flame just comes bursting out of the desk, Sprinklings go
off everywhere. Everybody evacuates the classroom.

Speaker 5 (38:18):
And how much trouble do you get that?

Speaker 9 (38:22):
I got suspend it for a couple of days.

Speaker 5 (38:23):
I'm sure you did. What did you do to create this?

Speaker 9 (38:27):
I set my homework on fire?

Speaker 16 (38:29):
Okay, all right, okay, somebody dared you to make a
scene and you went straight to fire.

Speaker 12 (38:41):
That's above it beyond Yeah yeah, all.

Speaker 6 (38:44):
Right, really taking the there serious will.

Speaker 5 (38:46):
Start with you.

Speaker 11 (38:48):
This is this is actually tough because that's a good
that's good, and it's very it's not smart, but it's
very risks, very impressive. Yes, I'm still going with the
streaking because it's just such a classic look.

Speaker 5 (38:58):
Okay, and Peters and penises and the mass hilarious Sammy.

Speaker 7 (39:03):
I'm going with Travis the fire starter.

Speaker 5 (39:06):
Yeah, menace.

Speaker 16 (39:07):
Yeah, I mean the fire starting is pretty extreme, but
I'm going with the hilarity of the wiener and the
kiss mask.

Speaker 6 (39:13):
Okay, Greg Gory, Yeah, this is tough because this is
quite a scene. I think the scarier, riskier one is fire.
So we have a tie would and there's there's no
way you're getting away with that either, Yeah, because it's
your desk. Yeah, it's such a risk. Yeah, I'm going

(39:34):
to fire.

Speaker 11 (39:35):
You ask did you have a lighter with like how
did you how did you set the homework on fire?

Speaker 15 (39:39):
Yes? I did have a lighter.

Speaker 5 (39:42):
I was supposed to hit the.

Speaker 6 (39:47):
I thought it was a big deal, just get your
hands on matches at that.

Speaker 5 (39:49):
Age, like there was a danger, but not just danger
for it was just danger for himself that'd be one thing,
but danger for the entire class, for the building and
everything like.

Speaker 6 (39:57):
So and potentially having to like redo the class.

Speaker 5 (40:00):
I'm gonna go with the one. It's a little bit
more silly and only really you know, something that would
be a consequence to that person. So I think I'm
going to go with John on that. It's tough. Yeah,
that's a tough with Travis. Thank you for the call. Thanks,
I appreciate the call. Story. Let's go to Sammy. Good morning, Sammy, Sammy,
good morning, good morning. All right, So what's the dumbest

(40:22):
thing you've done on a dare?

Speaker 18 (40:25):
Well, let me start off by saying, my sister is
meaner than all four of my brothers put together. So
eight years old, I'm playing Truth or Dare with her
and my dumbassy is there. So she makes me lick
the bottom of my shoes from beginning. Oh who knows
where those shoes have been.

Speaker 5 (40:43):
Yeah, that reminds me of one time we were doing
like this event at a dive bar and Menace licked
a stripper pool from the very bottom of it to
his high up on that stripper pole as his tongue
could reach while standing. I like to entertain listeners, my bad,
and he was saying like, because he was say I
don't get sick. Ever, Yeah, so I here like this
dirty strip. He did love doing it, and then guess
what happened. I was eating the tissues he got sick. Yeah, yeah,

(41:10):
the the pole is fine. Okay, yeah, there were some
snotty tissues from another co worker and he ate those
and then he.

Speaker 6 (41:16):
Got sick and he enjoyed that too.

Speaker 5 (41:17):
All right, So Sammy or John, what do we think
for entertainment purposes? It's good there. I like that one.

Speaker 6 (41:22):
Look the bottom of your shoes.

Speaker 5 (41:23):
Yeah you didn't top the bottom.

Speaker 6 (41:26):
I'm gonna stick with streaker.

Speaker 5 (41:28):
Streaker, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 16 (41:31):
Licking of the shoes is not even shocking anymore of
these days.

Speaker 6 (41:34):
Okay, spreakers, More people are involved, a bigger.

Speaker 5 (41:37):
Audience, yes, yeah, yes, okay, all right, Well Sammy, thank
you very much for the call. Appreciate listening. Well, ladies
and gentlemen. That is all the time we have. So
I do believe we have a winner, and that would
be John. John. Congratulations, Oh yeah, you are the winner
of this round of last man standing. Awesome congratulations and

(41:59):
his party reward.

Speaker 11 (42:00):
Greg's going to recreate your brank yeah right now.

Speaker 5 (42:03):
Right now. Yeah, he's the hall of work. He's a grower,
not a shower, right Greg, guys correct, Yeah, all right,
well John, hang on second, we'll get all your information.
Thank you so much for listening to the Woody Show.
Everybody else who was on hold already. I'm sorry, we
just simply ran out of time. We got to take
a break. More Woody shows next. Hang up, I'll be

(42:30):
all right. Some uh other people that were texting over
couldn't call in for our last man standing dumbest thing
you did on a dare. This one says I was
trying to impress these two girls in a pool, and
I dared them to kiss each other, which they did.

Speaker 12 (42:46):
Yeah, all right, yeah bro.

Speaker 5 (42:49):
But then they dared me to streak around the apartment
complex that we were, where the pool was, where we
were swimming. I did it. When I came back, they
were gone, and so were my clothes. Oh no, rooky, mistake, nightmare.
I can't call. But I was there when I was
a kid to get someone to eat animal poop.

Speaker 11 (43:06):
So I took a Tutsi roll, ate the actual Tutsi roll,
and then replaced the Tutsi roll with the poop.

Speaker 5 (43:11):
And gave it to another kid. As a kid, I
was there to lick the floor of the boy's bathroom,
and I actually did it. Let's see. Dumbess dare involves
a lighter and a game of chicken. Ended up with
a burn scar on my palm, a melted pen scar

(43:31):
on one wrist, and a cigarette burn scar on the other.
Just a fun story.

Speaker 15 (43:36):
How can you.

Speaker 6 (43:39):
Longer?

Speaker 5 (43:40):
My brother dared me to jump out of our second
floor window so he would rent me a WWE video game.
I landed in a hole, snapped my ankle basically in half.
I had to crawl around the house crying for my
family to find me. I did get the game, though.
All right, I'm not gonna call on in this one.

(44:01):
But my dumbest are was I put a fart bomb
in a church seat during service.

Speaker 6 (44:05):
Oh yeah, a fart bomb.

Speaker 5 (44:09):
That's a place stink bomb. Yeah, you gotta really love
Jesus to hang in there.

Speaker 12 (44:14):
Ye yeah, you can find those anyway.

Speaker 5 (44:16):
Thank you for your calls and for your stories. If
you're just tuning in and you missed it, you just
go back on the podcast. Hit us up any day
that you missed any part of the show on our website,
which is the Woodieshow dot com and click today's podcast
dumbest dairs around the room? Can anybody remember one?

Speaker 20 (44:33):
I mean?

Speaker 12 (44:33):
For work I did.

Speaker 5 (44:34):
I snorted hot sauce, like the hottest hot sauce, and.

Speaker 12 (44:37):
I know started bleeding. I think I did do a
streak from like a.

Speaker 5 (44:43):
Ballparking back, like, oh wait, what is okay?

Speaker 12 (44:45):
The one day being extremely fat and this show?

Speaker 5 (44:49):
Yeah, working on this show. He was working on a
different morning show years and years ago. Didn't somebody dare
you to fish a turd out of the toilet with
your bare hands and bring it to the boss's office. Yeah?

Speaker 6 (44:59):
I did that.

Speaker 15 (45:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (45:00):
There's so much stuff that I did. I don't even remember.

Speaker 6 (45:03):
I didn't know you did it.

Speaker 5 (45:04):
He was the human toilet stak.

Speaker 6 (45:05):
I didn't know you did a streak.

Speaker 5 (45:07):
Yeah, I did that.

Speaker 12 (45:08):
That sounds mortifying for you, I know, lying boxing and
fought two other guys. That was cool.

Speaker 5 (45:14):
Anything you've done in a dare sea bass?

Speaker 11 (45:16):
Yeah, A lot of stuff I think I may have
told you about. I was at a Steve O live show.
This is back when he was still doing drugs, and
he dared every good old days dideah exactly. He dared
someone of the audience to punch himself in the face.
So they bled, and I did that, no problem, and.

Speaker 5 (45:32):
Then we did something.

Speaker 11 (45:33):
A lot of other stuff was more just like being stupid, yeah,
like fire, like Roman candle wars, like shirtless Yeah, it's
not really a dare, just like let's do this.

Speaker 5 (45:41):
Yeah I did that.

Speaker 11 (45:42):
I I had scars on my chest all summer because
it was you take a dozen Roman candle shots to
your chest, that will happen.

Speaker 6 (45:48):
Sure, Yeah, hell yeah dog.

Speaker 5 (45:50):
I mean my dare was the working at the fast
food establishment and I had to swear to customer because
I was working the drive through. I've told that story before.
My Well, he ended up being a car full of
a woman in a car full of kids, and he
couldn't apologize. There was some money on the line, Well
dared to do if you do it? Well, you know
everybody was chipping in that, all the guys of the

(46:10):
grower chipping in. Right, So that's more than I made
on any other day, a single day or work. It's
like Greg said, when well, you were dared to drink
cigarette but water? Yeah, so there was a bottle of
water that there were some cigarettes put out in. You
know people will do that. Yeah, And we dared Greg
to drink it and he did sixty bucks.

Speaker 12 (46:30):
Yeah he did for money, I know, but it's still
yeah I did it from.

Speaker 6 (46:33):
Yeah, for money, which I love. Menaces foot in my mouth.

Speaker 5 (46:36):
Yeah, we had we had. The guy was just doing
it for a video game rental.

Speaker 6 (46:40):
Right, if you're doing it for money, it's even it's
a reward.

Speaker 5 (46:43):
Yeah. Something tells me that the Sammy has at least
one story, or at the very least she seems because
you know that whole like, oh my god, we were cheerleaders,
like mean girl kind. She's the one that dared some sucker,
some nerds, some loser popular. She went to the special
mean girl stuff.

Speaker 12 (47:03):
Yeah, she went to some loser and tried to make
her pop.

Speaker 5 (47:06):
She's smiling, so you know it's true. The thing is
is that I'm sure I didn't.

Speaker 7 (47:09):
I just can't remember.

Speaker 6 (47:10):
Yeah, it was like every day convenient.

Speaker 5 (47:15):
Did you ever do a dare?

Speaker 20 (47:17):
I did?

Speaker 13 (47:18):
They were doing the boys were doing like a fight
night when I was a freshman in high school and
they were all boxing each other, and they dared me
and one of my friends.

Speaker 17 (47:25):
To box each other, which we did, but.

Speaker 13 (47:29):
She was much taller than me and I never had
a chance, Like it was really stupid for me to
go like, oh yeah, okay on a dare and I
had braces at the time, and she just towered over
me and I every single round ended because I blacked
out and had to like get so much back and
tore up the whole inside of my mouth.

Speaker 5 (47:49):
I braces it was boxing thing. Now here we are
explain some things, some brain damage. There a lot of
times to thank you for all your stories, thank you
for your tech messages. We're gonna take a quick break.
More Woody shows next, hang on the show.

Speaker 1 (48:05):
Fuck like just these fat people demanding, who are you
fart knockers?

Speaker 2 (48:11):
This is the Woody show?

Speaker 5 (48:15):
Be the I've still got a woody Wow, that's a
greg gun. He has some questions for us mm hmm
from driver's test.

Speaker 6 (48:28):
These are sample questions from actual driver's tests, some of which,
like you said, if you have just a tiny bit
of common sense, they're going to be quite obvious.

Speaker 15 (48:36):
Right.

Speaker 5 (48:36):
I forget what it was like, how many questions are
there and what you have to get right in order
to pass?

Speaker 6 (48:43):
Yeah, it was to be perfect. No, like seventy percent
I think passes.

Speaker 5 (48:47):
Yeah, yeah, I mean you can tell just by people
on the road, yes, yeah.

Speaker 6 (48:51):
And then when you fail, I think you have to
wait a couple of weeks to take it again.

Speaker 5 (48:55):
Someone think so I thought I didn't. I mean I
know that, Uh, I feel you to wait, and that's
the punishment, because like where I went to get my
driver's test, had I failed, I was able to come
back the next day because I remember my my aunt
was the one who drove me to the driver's test,
and then she had said, hey, look so I have
both days off in case you don't pass today, we
can come back tomorrow.

Speaker 12 (49:16):
I think in different places have different rules.

Speaker 5 (49:18):
Yeah, and maybe it's changed. I mean it was a
long time ago.

Speaker 13 (49:21):
So you're talking about the written permit test correct, not behind.

Speaker 17 (49:24):
The driver's test.

Speaker 5 (49:25):
No, just the just the driver's test. Oh see, I
had to wait. I shocking.

Speaker 13 (49:30):
I failed the drivers and I had to wait a
certain period of time.

Speaker 12 (49:34):
Before I could go back.

Speaker 5 (49:35):
Yeah, varies by state, someplaces a week, two weeks.

Speaker 6 (49:38):
I not I passed the actual driving portion when the
instructor goes with you. But I did get dinged a
few points because he said I was speeding, And in
my head, I thought he would think I was a
total nerd if I stayed at the speed limit. Yeah,
I thought he's going to think I'm such a great
So I went over the speed limit and that's where
I got dinged. You're going too fast. But in my head,

(50:00):
I thought, you're just gonna think I'm a total dark
Like I'll look at this guy doing twenty five with.

Speaker 5 (50:05):
His hands at ten and two, Right, what a nerd?
That's fine. You know, I didn't even have a permit.
I went right from not driving to a license.

Speaker 6 (50:15):
It must vary by steak because I don't. Yeah.

Speaker 12 (50:17):
No, if you had a certain age, you don't have
to get a permit.

Speaker 5 (50:20):
I was eighteen.

Speaker 11 (50:21):
Oh that's why.

Speaker 12 (50:21):
Yeah, dorks.

Speaker 5 (50:23):
Well I'm stuck in boarding schools. Couldn't go get your
driver's license my parents. It wasn't selective. Yeah, I'm sure
you were great. Yeah, yeah, I was a pretty great kid. Actually,
all right, So Greg Gory's driving testes are multiple choice, right,
yes they are.

Speaker 6 (50:41):
There's only three choices per question. Some of them are
get in very common sense, like this one. When is
it legal to drive off the road to pass another vehicle?
If the vehicle's turning left, it is not legal under
any conditions, or if there are two or more one
way lanes.

Speaker 5 (51:01):
To drive off the road or.

Speaker 12 (51:03):
To pass the car, It's never legal.

Speaker 5 (51:05):
Never legal.

Speaker 6 (51:06):
Okay, well done, makes sense. Never legal.

Speaker 11 (51:09):
She write these down so Sammy can't pick your back up, right, yeah, answers.

Speaker 12 (51:14):
Oh, yeah, they're right.

Speaker 5 (51:15):
I noticed she didn't give it an answer right away. Yeah,
she waited until we all say exactly what I'm saying.
So okay, all right, Well then first, okay, Sammy, okay,
so sweet. When a railroad crossing is not controlled railroad,
what is the speed limit when you are within one
hundred feet and cannot see for four hundred feet in
both directions? Is it fifteen miles an hour? Ten miles

(51:37):
an hour or twenty five miles an hour?

Speaker 7 (51:40):
Fifteen?

Speaker 5 (51:41):
I'm gonna say ten.

Speaker 12 (51:43):
Yeah, Well, that's not even an option one.

Speaker 6 (51:46):
It's fifteen ten or twenty five?

Speaker 12 (51:47):
Oh fifteen?

Speaker 11 (51:50):
I mean yeah, yeah, on all these things, it's always
the smart move to make the safest bet.

Speaker 5 (51:55):
So I'll say ten.

Speaker 6 (51:57):
Sammy and Menace are correct. Fifteen, All right, very good
job to be fair.

Speaker 12 (52:02):
Ten wasn't even an answer, so, yeah, got true, just
wasn't even option Well. I knew the right answer right away,
so I think you hear the rest.

Speaker 5 (52:09):
I got it, all right. So I'm fifty percent.

Speaker 6 (52:12):
What speed should you be driving when entering onto a
highway at or near the speed of traffic faster than
the speed of traffic, slower than the speed of traffic,
at the.

Speaker 5 (52:24):
Speed of traffic or near speed of traffic.

Speaker 12 (52:27):
Correct ten miles an hour.

Speaker 5 (52:30):
You are all correct, noice near the speed of trap.

Speaker 11 (52:34):
Remember my friend got his learner and he did he'd
never merged onto a highway before, so he came to a.

Speaker 5 (52:39):
Dead stop here. Oh it was not fun. People suck
his case. First time driving, which don't go on the highway.
But yeah, hey, Also, can you guys not be dicks?
Like if you're in the far right lane and there's
an on ramp where traffic is merging and you have
the ability to get over a lane, get over a

(53:00):
lane over, Yeah, like there's no other place for the
merging traffic to go. You're in this lane. I'm here,
it's mine right, not moving, I'm supposed to damn near
stop it's an on ramp.

Speaker 6 (53:12):
And also, don't be a dick. If you missed your
turn or your turn is about to be here and
you're in the wrong lane, correct it later. Don't just
go flying across all the works or stop or stop
you screwed up. You screwed up, Go beyond your turn
and correct it lane.

Speaker 11 (53:27):
Another move that I see all the time these days.
Let's say we are merging onto a highway. If there's
two of us and we've got both have space to
get over, and we're merging on, there's a guy behind.
I see this all the time. Well, they'll they'll get
over and and and then they'll speed up as fast
as they can. And then when you try to get over,
they hawk at you, right because there mister speedy, speedy

(53:48):
racing zoo zoom zoom, and they're.

Speaker 5 (53:50):
Like, oh, how dare you merge ups? You cut me off?

Speaker 6 (53:53):
Jack as exactly, I admit I got this one wrong. Okay,
how many feet away should you switch from high beam
to low beam headlights when approaching a vehicle coming towards you? Okay,
nine hundred feet? I mean I knew it as soon
as I see another cargo. As soon as I see
I'm not like, well, I wonder what the distance is?

Speaker 15 (54:11):
Right?

Speaker 6 (54:11):
Exactly nine hundred feet seven hundred feet, five hundred feet,
five hundred.

Speaker 5 (54:20):
I think, yeah, but uh yeah, we'll say, uh, what
was the middle one? Nine hundred, seven hundred, seven hundred,
five hundred, seven hundred.

Speaker 6 (54:28):
Correct answer is five hundred.

Speaker 12 (54:30):
Wow, it is pretty well okay, this driving.

Speaker 6 (54:33):
Test made me think, too, are people a good gauge
of how many feet they are between something?

Speaker 15 (54:38):
No?

Speaker 6 (54:39):
Because technically I think if you're making a right turn,
you're supposed to signal. Is it one hundred feet before
the turn? How do I know how many feet away?

Speaker 11 (54:46):
I tell people I got a ten incher. Clearly you're
bad with that has been proven wrong. But that's just
on a good eyeball.

Speaker 15 (54:51):
On it, you know.

Speaker 6 (54:52):
Yeah? Okay, how about this one? What should you do
when there's a school bus ahead that starts flashing yellow
warning lights? See up.

Speaker 5 (55:01):
Before they stopped geting around the exactly what Seabats was
talking about.

Speaker 6 (55:04):
Let's get out, slow down, and prepare to stop, stop immediately,
and remain stopped cautiously past the school bus on the left.

Speaker 12 (55:13):
So to stop.

Speaker 11 (55:14):
Yeah, the first one they have a stops on on
the side of those.

Speaker 6 (55:17):
Things for exactly. You're all correct on that one, right,
that was easy.

Speaker 11 (55:21):
I love it when cops will follow school buses and
just wait for people to be dicks and go yeah.

Speaker 6 (55:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (55:25):
Inevitably they get somebody.

Speaker 12 (55:27):
They print money.

Speaker 6 (55:28):
This one I thought was odd. Which of the following
is a requirement of the basic speed law?

Speaker 15 (55:35):
All right?

Speaker 6 (55:35):
Basic speed. Yeah, exactly, Newton, right, Always drive the speed
limit regardless of conditions. Match your speed to your surrounding traffic.
Never drive faster than is safe for current conditions.

Speaker 5 (55:49):
Third one, match your speed.

Speaker 12 (55:51):
I'd say number one.

Speaker 6 (55:52):
Number three Wood, he's the only one getting his license.
Number three. Never drive faster than is safe for current conditions.
I was also thinking that, but you didn't say it
out loud, I said my brain. Okay, you get at
which of the following is an example of a safe
driving practice. Staring only at the middle of the road,

(56:12):
always keeping your eyes moving to scan the surroundings, or
using high beam headlights in the fog.

Speaker 11 (56:19):
In the number two, what about when it's kind of
rainy outside, turning on your emergency flashers?

Speaker 5 (56:24):
Right, what about that option D scanning?

Speaker 11 (56:28):
Yes, scanning?

Speaker 5 (56:29):
Number two?

Speaker 6 (56:29):
Okay, you all get your license? Nice?

Speaker 5 (56:31):
Nice, Yeah, because when you first start driving, you're doing
number one, where you're just staring like right in front
of you. You're so afraid to even check your mirrors
like you do that quick head look yeah vision, yeah,
just freaking out.

Speaker 6 (56:46):
But then I always thought, oh, road conditions, if it's wet,
you slow down. If it's raining, obviously. But then, okay,
so if that means on a nice day, I can
speed because the weather conditions are just so beautiful.

Speaker 5 (56:55):
Hell yeah, dog, sure shouldn't it go both ways? Argue
that on the I will break out your great demeanor.
I will with the officer, and it's a sunny day,
I can go one hundred. Have you not read the manual?

Speaker 2 (57:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 12 (57:08):
You can do like E break spot spins and I
pay your salary.

Speaker 6 (57:11):
That's right.

Speaker 5 (57:12):
Give us one more here, Greg Goring, all right, you
are under eighteen years of age, and you have had
your license for eight months.

Speaker 6 (57:20):
Okay. You may drive at any time between five am
and eleven pm.

Speaker 5 (57:27):
Hod I give me one more time. I'm okay. Under eighteen.

Speaker 6 (57:30):
You are under eighteen eighteen, okay, and you've had your
license for eight months.

Speaker 5 (57:34):
Got it?

Speaker 6 (57:35):
You may drive at any time between five am and
eleven pm, or between seven am and eight pm. This
is a new law.

Speaker 12 (57:43):
Before my I mean after my time, That's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 7 (57:47):
Eleven.

Speaker 5 (57:48):
I think maybe until, but you're under eighteen. I would
say until eight pm unless you have a circumstance like
a work thing, you know, like you have like a
work permit or something like that or you can show
there coming from work.

Speaker 12 (58:01):
I say anytime.

Speaker 5 (58:02):
Anytime, I say five and eleven.

Speaker 6 (58:04):
I'll be honest, I guessed at any time as well. Yeah,
it is between five am and eleven pm.

Speaker 5 (58:09):
Eleven pm. Yeah, I mean, like I didn't know.

Speaker 6 (58:13):
I thought once you have your license.

Speaker 7 (58:14):
Yeah, well, her few thing that goes on.

Speaker 13 (58:16):
There's weird rules for the first year that you have
your license that are different.

Speaker 5 (58:20):
Wasn't there also rules about like having other people in
the car with you?

Speaker 2 (58:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (58:24):
Yeah, is that just with your permit?

Speaker 6 (58:25):
I think about with your permit, the driver that you're
with has to be licensed, and I think twenty five
is that right?

Speaker 19 (58:31):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (58:31):
But if once you actually have your license, you can't
drive with anyone in the car other than your siblings
or an adult for like the first.

Speaker 7 (58:38):
Six months, I think it is.

Speaker 5 (58:39):
Yeah, okay, so that way, you just kill your family, right, right, right,
kill somebody else's family.

Speaker 11 (58:44):
But like, also, you've never known anybody who's gotten busted
for that, because I remember hearing that, yeah, have an
eighteen year old or whatever in here.

Speaker 6 (58:50):
And getting pulled over. I think you're too young.

Speaker 5 (58:52):
Depends is at the end of the month that they
need quotas filled and take it. Could we do one more?

Speaker 11 (58:58):
Sure?

Speaker 6 (58:58):
This is one that I also got wrong. At what
point during a rainfall are roads slippery on a hot day?
I know this one because my dad told it to
me all the time I was a little kid. Before
we get the guesses, what is it?

Speaker 20 (59:10):
So?

Speaker 5 (59:11):
What what sort of options do we have?

Speaker 15 (59:13):
First?

Speaker 6 (59:14):
I thought you knew the hours, so immediately after it
stopped raining, Yes, for the first several minutes, or when
it has been raining for a few hours, for.

Speaker 5 (59:23):
Several minutes, for several minutes?

Speaker 11 (59:24):
First that because everyone told you that that's when the
oil is filed off.

Speaker 6 (59:29):
And heard that only in context of motorcycles.

Speaker 5 (59:32):
Though, everything right for the.

Speaker 6 (59:35):
First several minutes.

Speaker 5 (59:36):
The road tires right, see, I learned as well. All right,
well there's the Gregory driving pass. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (59:43):
I think I would have been super pass.

Speaker 5 (59:45):
Yeah, noise all right on the roads? Yes, I got
some more Woody show coming up. Hang on the show.
In the last moment, I would find one person who
I really can't stand and I would murder them because

(01:00:06):
I can never I can never go to prison for it.
I took this lame person off the planet with me.
The Woody show already people volunteering to be the next
person to answer the questions for Fat Chick, Skinny Chick.
We got somebody on the text here says, I'm so
glad to hear that it's back. I said, if y'all

(01:00:26):
want to be inclusive in this day and age, you
can call it fat person skinny person. And I just
wrote back, I have no interest in being inclusive. Yeah,
that's not what this show is all about.

Speaker 6 (01:00:36):
We do what we want.

Speaker 5 (01:00:38):
Yeah, all right, So we have a volunteer that the
only person who knows the answer going into it is
Morgan everybody else, and we're gonna have to try to
figure it out. We're gonna put at least two minutes
on the clock and then she's just gonna answer the questions.
We're asking her to answer them honestly, obviously, and then
we'll find out the end I have. You can't open

(01:01:01):
this yet, Morgan stable to shut this.

Speaker 10 (01:01:02):
This is her.

Speaker 5 (01:01:04):
This is the volunteer's picture the reveal. This is theo
oh looking all right? Sorry, Sam, I had dropped the
bond the monitor there, all right, Fat chick, Skinny Chick,
And let's say hello to our volunteer. Let's say hello
to Holly. Good morning, Holly, how are good morning? I'm good?

Speaker 18 (01:01:23):
How are you?

Speaker 5 (01:01:23):
Good morning? All right, So thank you for volunteering. Thanks all,
and just for being a good sport. We're gonna set
you up with a with a prize this morning, because
that's how it works. I just want to make it clear,
did you and or anybody come pull you off the
street and force you to do this this morning? Or
was it just volunteer?

Speaker 15 (01:01:39):
Volunteer?

Speaker 5 (01:01:40):
Great? Great, all right, So we're just gonna ask you
some questions again. Please just answer, answer the questions honestly,
and then listeners. Once you feel like you have a
good idea of what we have, either a fat chick
or a skinny chick. We just want you to text
fat or skinny over to two two nine eight seven.
Sound good?

Speaker 4 (01:01:57):
Yep?

Speaker 5 (01:01:57):
Everybody ready, I'm ready? Okay. Who wants to go first?
All right, Greg Gory? First question, Holly? Do you currently
own a bicycle?

Speaker 4 (01:02:06):
I do not?

Speaker 5 (01:02:07):
Okay?

Speaker 17 (01:02:09):
Do you prefer warm weather or cool weather?

Speaker 19 (01:02:13):
Cool weather?

Speaker 5 (01:02:13):
Cool weather?

Speaker 15 (01:02:15):
Now?

Speaker 5 (01:02:15):
Do you look do you have like a house, an apartment, condo? Condo?

Speaker 6 (01:02:19):
Okay?

Speaker 17 (01:02:20):
Do you cook more or get takeout more?

Speaker 15 (01:02:24):
Oh?

Speaker 18 (01:02:24):
Gosh, I do both. Yeah, I do probably cook.

Speaker 5 (01:02:29):
More, cook more? All right? Do you cook or bake more?

Speaker 8 (01:02:33):
I am not a baker?

Speaker 5 (01:02:34):
Not a baker.

Speaker 12 (01:02:35):
May I ask your age?

Speaker 8 (01:02:37):
You may forty nine?

Speaker 12 (01:02:39):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:02:40):
Do you have multiple ear piercings?

Speaker 18 (01:02:43):
I have no ear pier No?

Speaker 5 (01:02:45):
What about What about tattoos?

Speaker 18 (01:02:47):
No tattoos?

Speaker 5 (01:02:48):
No tattoo.

Speaker 7 (01:02:48):
Do you have any kids?

Speaker 15 (01:02:51):
I know?

Speaker 5 (01:02:52):
Okay. Do you have any pets?

Speaker 12 (01:02:54):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (01:02:54):
What do you got?

Speaker 2 (01:02:56):
Two cats?

Speaker 15 (01:02:57):
Cats?

Speaker 5 (01:02:58):
Cats? Do you drink soda or diet soda?

Speaker 6 (01:03:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:03:02):
Regular or diet soda?

Speaker 1 (01:03:04):
Neither neither?

Speaker 5 (01:03:05):
Okay. What's your what's your beverage of choice?

Speaker 13 (01:03:09):
Fine?

Speaker 5 (01:03:10):
Yeah, I was going to ask what your favorite alcoholic
beverage is.

Speaker 17 (01:03:14):
Would you say you had the same oh? Good, nice red?
Would you say you had the same body type as
most of your friends?

Speaker 18 (01:03:22):
Yes?

Speaker 5 (01:03:24):
What kind of milk do you buy? Paul? Two skim ot?

Speaker 9 (01:03:28):
What oat milk?

Speaker 15 (01:03:30):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:03:30):
Oat milk?

Speaker 14 (01:03:31):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:03:32):
Jesus? Do you now or have you ever been a smoker? Polly?

Speaker 8 (01:03:39):
I've never been a smoker yet.

Speaker 15 (01:03:41):
Oh.

Speaker 12 (01:03:41):
Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:03:42):
Did you play an instrument in high school?

Speaker 19 (01:03:45):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:03:46):
No instrument in high school.

Speaker 12 (01:03:47):
I've been in any plays?

Speaker 20 (01:03:50):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:03:51):
Okay, okay.

Speaker 17 (01:03:52):
On a scale of one to five, five being the most.
How much do you like crafting?

Speaker 8 (01:03:58):
Do painting count crafty.

Speaker 5 (01:04:02):
Than five?

Speaker 15 (01:04:03):
Mm?

Speaker 6 (01:04:04):
Hmm?

Speaker 5 (01:04:05):
Have you ever cheated on your partner?

Speaker 20 (01:04:08):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:04:10):
Is the interior of your car clean or messy?

Speaker 5 (01:04:16):
Have you ever been a mistress?

Speaker 17 (01:04:20):
Are you currently in a relationship?

Speaker 2 (01:04:23):
I am not No.

Speaker 5 (01:04:25):
Are you okay with anal? That was a question on
the text they have a theory?

Speaker 20 (01:04:30):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:04:31):
No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 15 (01:04:34):
Way.

Speaker 17 (01:04:34):
She sounds never what I want to hang with?

Speaker 5 (01:04:36):
Never? Thongs? Are boy shorts?

Speaker 4 (01:04:41):
Thong?

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:04:43):
Neither?

Speaker 10 (01:04:43):
Really?

Speaker 18 (01:04:43):
I like.

Speaker 8 (01:04:44):
I don't like the boy shorts.

Speaker 10 (01:04:45):
I like the kind of high like the bikini way, yes,
thank you?

Speaker 4 (01:04:50):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (01:04:51):
Okay?

Speaker 5 (01:04:53):
Okay? And how many pairs of jeans would you say that?
I had to guess, probably twenty oh twenty?

Speaker 15 (01:05:03):
Do you like?

Speaker 14 (01:05:04):
What do you like?

Speaker 6 (01:05:06):
Do you like getting pedicures?

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
Yes?

Speaker 14 (01:05:09):
You do?

Speaker 5 (01:05:09):
Okay, I think I'm locked in?

Speaker 6 (01:05:11):
Guys too?

Speaker 12 (01:05:12):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:05:13):
Yeah, I think I've heard you got any more questions? Gina?

Speaker 17 (01:05:17):
I think I'm good that she's been really yeah, really helpful.

Speaker 5 (01:05:21):
Yeah, Greg, You're good. You get locked in? Think? So okay,
I'm I'm locked man, Sammy, are good? Any more questions? Okay?
So I'm locked in.

Speaker 6 (01:05:29):
Now.

Speaker 5 (01:05:30):
You could text over to two two nine eight seven
and you tell us what do you think, fat chick
or skinny chick two two nine eight seven. A lot
of people say they were already locked all right. So
here's here's what I got, and here's how here's how
it comes down to me. I'm going skinny chick. I
got a lot of stuff in the skinny column. Holly I,

(01:05:51):
for whatever reason I think is a skinny name. She
doesn't make no kids oat milk. Yeah okay, uh, didn't
play an instrument in high school, not down with anal
And the bikini wasted right thing that that, that and
the fat column. All I got is prefers cool weather
because all of us fat people do.

Speaker 11 (01:06:11):
As a fat person, I can tell you the cat's
thing and then the fact she's got twenty pair of jeans,
And I'll tell you why I think that's a fat thing,
because as a fat person, I own a lot of
pair of jeans because they're in different friggin sizes.

Speaker 5 (01:06:22):
Yeah, oh, I see it. And you don't throw them
out because oh you're hoping the size back down. You
see what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, So lock me in skinny, Gina,
what do you think?

Speaker 1 (01:06:33):
Uh, you make it.

Speaker 17 (01:06:35):
You make a compelling argument, But I think that I
think that Holly is on the fluffy side. Yeah, okay,
and I and I'll say against somebody i'd like to
hang with. But I'm guessing the you know, the sitting
around and painting with the cats. I'm getting a vibe again,
I'd like to participate, but I'm getting a vibe on

(01:06:55):
the fat check.

Speaker 6 (01:06:56):
Yeah. And so you're not married, but are you single
and single? Okay, Greg Gory, I'm kind of all over
the map like you were Woody. I think Holly it's
not a skinny name.

Speaker 5 (01:07:11):
But don't you know why because I associated with the
you know, no Hugh Hefner, the one.

Speaker 6 (01:07:20):
She doesn't currently own a bike, but I think that's
pretty common with a lot of people. She's in a condo, right,
no ear piercings, no tattoos. That is such an anomaly
for anybody. And I think of having a lot of
either is a fat thing. The cats lean I lean

(01:07:40):
fat on that, and then the clean car I do
lean skinny on that, and the wine I also lean fat.
But I'm getting a vibe. I think it's just her voice,
skinny skinny.

Speaker 5 (01:07:53):
All right, Greg Gory is locked in, menace, Mine's super easy.

Speaker 16 (01:07:58):
I'm saying skinny because oat milk and also no sodis yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:08:04):
Oh yeah, I forgot. I forgot to write that down.
But yeah, no soda. Not a soda fan in general.
So right there, that's a lock for me, is locked in.

Speaker 13 (01:08:13):
And then Sammy skinny as well because the open milk,
the no soda cooks more at home.

Speaker 12 (01:08:18):
And yeah, so I'm.

Speaker 17 (01:08:19):
Alone on this, I guess.

Speaker 5 (01:08:20):
Yeah, you're on You're on fat Island.

Speaker 17 (01:08:23):
Yeah over there, you're telling me.

Speaker 5 (01:08:26):
All right, well we have we have the big reveal,
and we haven't done this in such a long time
that I forgot exactly how we did this. Oh now, okay,
now no, now remember all.

Speaker 17 (01:08:38):
Right, here we go like the count of three.

Speaker 5 (01:08:39):
Yeah, on the count of three, we're gonna we're gonna
open up. We have the picture here that Morgan has
printed out for us, and then we get to see
fat chick or skinny chick when it comes to Holly,
is everybody ready on account of three, one, two, three?

Speaker 16 (01:09:01):
We were right?

Speaker 5 (01:09:02):
Yeah, thank you? And she and she's cooking, Yeah, like,
what what picture is this?

Speaker 15 (01:09:07):
Is this like.

Speaker 5 (01:09:10):
Land taking a cooking class, taking a cooking class.

Speaker 1 (01:09:15):
Games page.

Speaker 5 (01:09:16):
I know it is very very love skaty people go
to Thailand. Yeah, this looks like a magazine shoot kind
of thing, like oh this is this is style. Yeah,
this is Holly and it's awesome. Yeah, she teaches cooking classes.
All right, Well, hey, Holly, thank you so much for
calling in involunteering.

Speaker 13 (01:09:33):
I love you, guys, I mean, thank you so much.

Speaker 5 (01:09:36):
Well, thank you so much. All Right, there's a there's Holly.
Hang on, so we get your information, get your prize
for participating this week in fat Chick, Skinny Chick. There
she is Holly. Everybody, all right, thanks Holly, there you go.
G wants to be your friend. That was fun. We
haven't done that really so long. I really, I really
enjoyed myself. Well no, it's like when you see an

(01:09:58):
old friend that you haven't seen in a long time,
Like I don't know, it was it was fun to
play get that little rush. Yeah, I just like okay,
And we got a lot of texts. A lot of
people are locked in on on skinny large march large March. Yeah,
rail on their part, hold on, gonna go back to
Holly somebody's got a question on the on the text,
are you like vegetarian or vegan or anything like that?

(01:10:21):
Tescatarian just fish? Okay?

Speaker 13 (01:10:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 19 (01:10:25):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:10:26):
And what's and what's your favorite position? That's another question
on the text.

Speaker 17 (01:10:32):
Let's just put it this way above or below, like
are you are you on top or.

Speaker 5 (01:10:36):
Not below below? All right, holly, thank you, hang on, Sorry,
there was just some follow up questions on the text.
Don't leave the listeners hanging. All right, We're gonna take
a break more what he shows next, Hang on the
Woody Show. We'll be right back.

Speaker 15 (01:10:50):
Now here's where gets real. This will get great gory.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
So I much needed time to think about everything.

Speaker 5 (01:10:56):
He's gonna vacuum when he gets on later. The sure
pretty prettyular.

Speaker 15 (01:11:05):
I got to talk.

Speaker 5 (01:11:08):
All right, Welcome back everybody, Hey man, people are lining
up in Australia. How's theirs for this rare chance to
see and smell this unusual plant. It's called the corpse flower.

Speaker 6 (01:11:22):
Oh yeah, very famous.

Speaker 17 (01:11:25):
It blooms like once every however ten years, once every
ten years.

Speaker 6 (01:11:28):
I didn't know that.

Speaker 17 (01:11:29):
It literally smells like death.

Speaker 5 (01:11:31):
It and it only lasts for twenty four to forty
eight hours. And when it's bloomed, it gives it just
a putred they called a putrid stench.

Speaker 17 (01:11:39):
Oh, get in line for that.

Speaker 5 (01:11:40):
It's to attract you know, beetles and flies, you know, pollinators. Yeah,
and that's why people are currently lined up to smell it,
even though most say it makes them gag and smells
like a dead possum.

Speaker 12 (01:11:53):
I've been hearing about this since I.

Speaker 5 (01:11:55):
Was a kid.

Speaker 17 (01:11:55):
Yeah, same, and it's huge.

Speaker 5 (01:11:57):
There was something that popped up on my Instagram feed.
And I'm blaming my friend Tony and Morgan these days
for the stuff that just randomly shows up weird.

Speaker 17 (01:12:05):
Weirdly upsetting stuff.

Speaker 5 (01:12:07):
Yeah, well because this one thing and this delicacy. Apparently
in some places they were eating chicken butts excuse me, Yeah,
and and chicken butts like yeah, chicken, go on Instagram
type in chicken butts and like they'll prepare them, but
you have to do it in a certain way because
you can get really sick. And apparently like when you

(01:12:29):
bite into it, the smell is just god awful. But
these people insist on eating it, and I think to myself.

Speaker 16 (01:12:36):
Why why there's other things to eat? Yeah, this is
why the caveman days where you had to use every piece.

Speaker 5 (01:12:45):
Yeah, if you've ever been to a white Castle, they
sell chicken rings and people always made the joke that
those are just chicken Butttholesious are delicious, They don't smell bad,
They're delicious. Do you shout out to White Castle?

Speaker 6 (01:12:58):
Do you mean the thing that looks like a heart,
like some people call it the Pope's piece? Is that
what you mean?

Speaker 13 (01:13:03):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:13:03):
No, this thing eat that. This thing almost looks like
you know, when they shave down a coconut to make
it into a drink. Yeah, you know what I mean,
like a coconut water kind of thing where they've taken
all the outside of it off. It kind of looks
like that, but you could see the chickens butthole on
the end of it, almost like a conch, you know
what I mean, Like you like one of those shells
that you hold up to your.

Speaker 11 (01:13:22):
Listen to the Yeah you can.

Speaker 5 (01:13:23):
The ocean in the gym this popped up? Did I
save it?

Speaker 6 (01:13:26):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (01:13:26):
Can I say this is not because of me the
type of videos I send you, I know, but I.

Speaker 5 (01:13:30):
Think because of the videos that we share back and
forth with each other. Yeah, I think this is the
stuff that happens.

Speaker 7 (01:13:36):
Probably, Yeah, I blame Tony though.

Speaker 5 (01:13:38):
Yeah, well Tony's not a helpful at all.

Speaker 12 (01:13:40):
Yeah, no, did I save it?

Speaker 5 (01:13:42):
I thought I did.

Speaker 1 (01:13:43):
I'm not loving these pictures.

Speaker 6 (01:13:45):
What's that?

Speaker 5 (01:13:46):
But is this right?

Speaker 15 (01:13:50):
Look like?

Speaker 6 (01:13:50):
So they just chop off the.

Speaker 17 (01:13:53):
Yeah, weld on, hold on, go back to the ageing yea,
oh god, it looks like an alien?

Speaker 5 (01:14:03):
Why it looks like a wasp nest?

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (01:14:05):
Why do you guys like that reopening?

Speaker 15 (01:14:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:14:08):
Oh my god, it popped up. I have a very
strong stomach, as you know. I could watch some pretty
hainous stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:14:13):
Oh you love Hanus?

Speaker 5 (01:14:15):
Heinous is my face?

Speaker 17 (01:14:16):
You would need this?

Speaker 5 (01:14:18):
Yeah? No, are you high? You're new Jesus? Hell No,
I wouldn't eat.

Speaker 17 (01:14:23):
But I thought, you, you know, just to be adventures.

Speaker 5 (01:14:25):
No, insurus, that's hilarious.

Speaker 12 (01:14:29):
You wonn't even need gyros. It literally tastes like chicken.

Speaker 1 (01:14:34):
I've had so many drinks I didn't even tell you
what dries high.

Speaker 5 (01:14:38):
I'm gonna double.

Speaker 14 (01:14:38):
No.

Speaker 5 (01:14:39):
This is the Woody Show, and we are into another
new hour insensitivity training for a politically correct world on
this Friday morning. Welcome to it. Let's get through it
together and into the weekend. That's great gory. Good morning, Menace,
Good morning to you, Good morning Woody. We've got Samy Martin,

(01:15:00):
Gina grat.

Speaker 11 (01:15:00):
Hey, Happy Friday.

Speaker 5 (01:15:03):
Phones are open eight seven seven forty four Wooding. That's
eight seven seven forty four Wooding. You can hit us
up with the text over to two to nine eight seven.
We're gonna do some Friday dad jokes this hour. Excellent
Friday dad jokes. If you got a good one, you
can start texting over to two to nine eighty seven
with your dad jokes. We got a bunch ready to go,

(01:15:24):
just to a good vibe for a Friday and the
Friday fail stories of course, and we're ready for another
stellar performance. We did pretty well last week. It was
all right Friday fails.

Speaker 15 (01:15:34):
Here we go.

Speaker 5 (01:16:15):
All right, the gele me boys and girls, it is
time for your Friday fell start. Always feel thought they
had the perfect plan to plan that can never go wrong.
But then somewhere along the line it went from being
a great idea to one big stake in Mecca uber.

Speaker 6 (01:16:34):
Ultra right, yeah, way better than less, you know when
there's been changes in the band, Yeah, man to you know,

(01:16:58):
I like it.

Speaker 5 (01:16:59):
You know, when Peter Setera leaves Chicago, you know what
I'm saying, Dark day Steve Perry leaves Journey. Although that
Filipino dude that they found to replace him, awesome, he
sounds just like him. Yep, it's crazy all right. Into
the failed stories. We'll start with this one from Florida.
This guy and his girlfriend. They're out on a boat

(01:17:20):
fishing when the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission pulled up
and started questioning him. The guy gets super defensive and
when they ran his info, they found out that he
had a warrant out for his arrest, and so the
girlfriend for some reason, wants to see his phone demands
his password. He's not getting up the password. They're telling
him that, you know, he's going to be under arrest here.

(01:17:40):
So he makes a run for it. Well cool, oh okay,
a swim for it again. They're in a boat in
the middle of the water, so he jumps off the boat.
He starts swimming. Didn't make it very far. The cops
were following right behind him in their boat, just trying,
just trying to get him to give up, but he
managed to make the shore. That's where there were some
more officers there to greet him. He was cuff to
rest it and taken to fail jail sailed.

Speaker 6 (01:18:04):
Yeah, how pathetic.

Speaker 5 (01:18:06):
Here's your daily mention of Japan menace. Shout out Japan.
A social media influencer named Subasa Eto was with his wife.
They're known for doing alpine adventures Greg fun, and this
time they were scaling a peak when Subasa fell into
a raging river. His wife dives in to save him.

(01:18:27):
They were both swept away by the raging waters, and
a few hours later the rescuers found both of their
dead bodies down showed there was another one. There was
another woman who was like an influencer, and she's, you know,
trying to get like this. Apparently she's videotaping whatever and
then she fell like four hundred feet or something like that.
Why and you don't get this, Greg right when you go,

(01:18:48):
I don't hiking and scaling things. No, being at home
on your couch is the safest place on it. Yeah,
that's that's where you should really be uninjured.

Speaker 17 (01:18:57):
But it also, like shout out to standing by your man.

Speaker 6 (01:19:02):
She broke the golden rule. You don't dive in after something.
My wife would just be yelling are you okay?

Speaker 15 (01:19:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:19:10):
Downstream?

Speaker 12 (01:19:10):
Yeah, I see you later.

Speaker 5 (01:19:13):
Here's what about this guy in Florida, Brandon Gilmore is
his name. He was at a resort. He ended up
meeting this chick who was there with her four year
old son.

Speaker 11 (01:19:21):
Uh.

Speaker 5 (01:19:21):
She eventually invites Brandon, who she just met, to come
back to the room with her. Okay, And so they're
all hanging out in the room. It's Brandon, it's the wife,
it's the four year old. Brandon's playing with the little boy.

Speaker 6 (01:19:33):
Thought it'd be.

Speaker 5 (01:19:33):
Fun, a good idea to hold the boy by the
legs and dangle him over the railing of their second
floor balcony. Okay, as he later told the cops, to
play and scare him a little bit. Well, the kids
starts squirming, Brandon loses his hold on the kid. Kid
falls down the concrete below, lands directly on his head.
He survived, taken to the hospital treated for blunt force

(01:19:56):
trauma injury to his head, but by some miracle, the
doctor say that he he shouldn't have any long term
medical issues. Oh God. Brandon arrested. Had taken the fail jail,
not the first time, by the way. Being in jail
for him. He was arrested previously for stealing a Panama
Jack beach umbrella and some chairs. Idiot. That is fun

(01:20:16):
and funny when you terrify somebody.

Speaker 7 (01:20:18):
Yeah, hilarious.

Speaker 5 (01:20:19):
Yeah. This next one is about this guy in Utah
who was following a quote shortcut that Google Maps had suggested.

Speaker 12 (01:20:26):
I've done that.

Speaker 5 (01:20:27):
It took him off a rough dirt road leading toward
a place called Strawberry Peak. Sounds lovely, he does, and
he ended up getting stranded in the woods, so he
called nine to one to one Search and Rescue spent
hours getting to him and rescuing him. By the way,
not the first following GPS fail story we've ever heard. No,
we have this one not too long ago about somebody

(01:20:47):
who drove down a big flight of concrete steps, yeah,
because it told them to. And then another one where
this guy drove his jeep off the road and into
the creek because Google Maps had told him to. Dude,
it's called common sense if it's telling you to make
a right into the creek.

Speaker 17 (01:21:07):
That's a famous episode of the Office where Michael does
that and rain Will Dwight says Michael, it can't mean that,
So I always think that it.

Speaker 5 (01:21:15):
Can't mean that, but these people are like.

Speaker 16 (01:21:18):
I have a story where I was trying to take
a shortcut because of the GPS, and you know what,
It took me to a road called Jackass Road that
was a dirt road and I got to a point
where it was flooded and I was with my friends
and are like, oh, you can try through it.

Speaker 12 (01:21:34):
I was like, hell no. Track an hour and a half.

Speaker 5 (01:21:37):
This next one is about these two broads. They were
working at an army's in Pennsylvania and they were pulling
a scam with the roast beef.

Speaker 12 (01:21:45):
Oh hell no.

Speaker 5 (01:21:46):
They would slice it, hide it in a broken oven,
eventually put it in the trash, and then one of
them would take the trash out, and then before they
threw all the other stuff in the dumpster, they would
remove the roast beef and eventually just take it home.

Speaker 17 (01:21:57):
Oh that's brilliant.

Speaker 5 (01:21:58):
So the owner of this particular r's location was noticing
the loss initially thought there was a problem with how
the roast beef was being you know, measured or something
like that. So they went back and they looked at
the store's surveillance video, saw what was going on, and
all they stole around thirty five hundred dollars worth of
roast beef. So they were both arrested, taking the failed
jail charged with felony theft and conspiracy to commit crime.

(01:22:22):
What a dumb reason to go to jail.

Speaker 17 (01:22:24):
I think that to yourself when you people in the
clink ask you why you're there.

Speaker 5 (01:22:30):
Gorcery store people would do that.

Speaker 16 (01:22:31):
They would throw items into the trash and get off
work and then take them out.

Speaker 5 (01:22:36):
See, the fast food places have changed the way they
do things now, but back in ninety four when I
worked at McDonald's, they would always have burgers ready to go,
like in the hoppers, so like you'd order them at
the counter, they just turn around, grab whatever you want
out of the ready to go stuff, boom, and then
you're out of there. And then they realized there was
a lot more waste doing that. And here's why, because
myself and all the other people at the grill, we

(01:22:57):
knew that they could only be in there for a
certain amount of time before you could serve the customers.
It doesn't mean they were bad, so they'd make more
burgers and whatever than they needed, and then we always
got to take that stuff home because that's what the
manager had always told us, like, hey, you know, I'd
rather you guys don't throw it away, So before you
throw it in the trash, like you know, if you
want to take it home, so we'd always make way
more than what was required just to take it home. Yeah. Out,

(01:23:23):
but it was intentional waste, I'm saying for the business,
you know. Uh. And this is my favorite story of
the week. And there's a video for this. I'll post
it on our Twitter and on our Instagram story at
the WOODI show. Uh, this is the one I was
showing you guys here in the studio the other Hey,
this is this chick. She gets out of her car
to confront another driver and when she did, she forgot

(01:23:46):
to put the car in park, so the car starts
rolling forward. She ran to try to catch up to it,
and just as she did, it was just in time
that she got smashed in between the driver's side door
and the s u V. So the door is open
because she got out of the car left the door open,
so she's standing there right. She then runs after it,

(01:24:07):
so so when she ran up to it, she's within
like did she closed the door? Got closed on? Yes?
Because the car hit the right side of the car
in front of her, forcing the door closed. She's in
the middle of it.

Speaker 6 (01:24:21):
It's so good.

Speaker 5 (01:24:22):
And she was pinned, which had to her. And here's
some here's some audio from there.

Speaker 1 (01:24:28):
You're the wife swerving.

Speaker 9 (01:24:29):
I was just following you.

Speaker 5 (01:24:33):
The car's were all away. No, yeah, there she goes
this got crushed.

Speaker 15 (01:24:41):
It's so good.

Speaker 5 (01:24:43):
Not sober correct, uh that I don't know, but a
sober move. I'll post it on our Twitter and on
our Instagram if you want to check it out. At
the Woody Show, we're gonna take a quick break and
then when we come back from the break. Some dad
jokes awesome if you got a good dad, Oak Forest,
people like these on a Friday, good Friday, vibe, Friday fun.

(01:25:04):
If you want to call in with one eight seven
seven forty four, whatdy will open up the phones for
that right now? That's eight seven seven forty four what
people already texting them over to two two nine eight seven.

Speaker 14 (01:25:16):
Not one?

Speaker 15 (01:25:18):
But it's a Woody Show.

Speaker 5 (01:25:23):
More all right? Yeah, man, I just slicks of the text.
That's the first joke that's on there that just came
in is from James says, what's the difference between Nicole
Brown Simpson and cancer. OJ couldn't kill cancer? Oh wow,

(01:25:44):
I'm getting getting all right, So dad jokes eight seven
seven forty four. That's eight seven seven forty four. Woody,
you can hit us up with your dad joke on
the text over to two to nine eight seven, will
go right to the phone, and uh, let's say hello
to Bubby, good morning, bye bye, Hey, good.

Speaker 15 (01:26:07):
Morning, welcome, welcome from Louisville, Kentucky.

Speaker 14 (01:26:11):
Rob.

Speaker 15 (01:26:12):
Yeah, you have to do it.

Speaker 5 (01:26:13):
We're doing great. What's your what's your dad monster? Okay?

Speaker 15 (01:26:18):
Great? Why didn't you put a diaper on a rooster?

Speaker 5 (01:26:21):
Why?

Speaker 15 (01:26:22):
Because it's tickers in the front?

Speaker 5 (01:26:28):
All right, Bybee, thank you for the call. Appreciate you listening.
Let's go from Bubby to Roberts Robe. What's up there, Robbie?

Speaker 19 (01:26:36):
Morning Roy, guys.

Speaker 5 (01:26:39):
We're doing great. What's your dad joke?

Speaker 15 (01:26:41):
I'm a dad joke.

Speaker 19 (01:26:42):
Why did the bicycle fall over?

Speaker 5 (01:26:45):
Why did the bicycle fall over?

Speaker 19 (01:26:47):
Why because it was too tired?

Speaker 5 (01:26:50):
Too tired? Because the bike has too tired? Right, it does,
all right, Robert, thank you for the call. Enjoy your weekend. Bye,
or let's go to Troy. Hey, good morning, Troy, good morning,
good morning?

Speaker 15 (01:27:03):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:27:04):
What your dad joke?

Speaker 15 (01:27:05):
What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

Speaker 5 (01:27:11):
I see, I think I know both versions of this.
I'm not going to mow your lawn, Troy. Is it R?

Speaker 15 (01:27:20):
No?

Speaker 19 (01:27:21):
It was the R, but it's the sea.

Speaker 6 (01:27:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (01:27:24):
See what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (01:27:25):
Yeah, somebody you have to get in on that.

Speaker 5 (01:27:29):
All right, Troy, thank you to call. Appreciate you. Listen
to one of the show's go to Tommy, Good morning, Tommy,
morning morning. All right, So what's your dad joke?

Speaker 9 (01:27:38):
Why did the chicken cross the road?

Speaker 15 (01:27:41):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:27:41):
Why did the chicken across the road? Why?

Speaker 14 (01:27:46):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:27:47):
All right, got it? Got it all right, Tommy, thank
you to call. Let's go, let's go to uh. Leslie, Hey,
good morning, Leslie, good morning, good morning. Why don't hear?
What's your dad joke?

Speaker 8 (01:28:03):
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

Speaker 5 (01:28:07):
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work?

Speaker 19 (01:28:10):
What can't open?

Speaker 5 (01:28:13):
Can't That's a That's another one I hadn't heard before.
That's that's it. Go all right, Leslie, thank you for
the call. I appreciate it. What do I went to
this new store?

Speaker 15 (01:28:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (01:28:22):
It's called moderation. Uh huh, they have everything in there.
Oh that's good, all right, I got it.

Speaker 17 (01:28:30):
I was wondering if you guys knew what clouds wear
beneath their pants?

Speaker 5 (01:28:35):
Clouds wear?

Speaker 11 (01:28:36):
Ye?

Speaker 5 (01:28:36):
What's that? Thunderwear? Yes? Menace? What did the beach say
when the tide came in? What long time? No sea?

Speaker 12 (01:28:46):
Getting getting?

Speaker 5 (01:28:50):
You know, for nearly thirty years of my life, I
wanted something to remark to me, man, it's raining cats
and dogs out there, like on a rainy day, just
so I can reply to them. You're telling me I
just stepped in a poodle getting getting Did you guys.

Speaker 17 (01:29:04):
Hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?

Speaker 5 (01:29:06):
No, no, he won the Nobel Prize. It I got
it because it's a knock instead of a ring.

Speaker 6 (01:29:13):
See.

Speaker 17 (01:29:14):
Did you guys hear about this is breaking news? Did
you hear about the kidnapping at school?

Speaker 1 (01:29:20):
They woke him up again?

Speaker 12 (01:29:24):
Did you hear about the two rowboats that got into
an argument.

Speaker 5 (01:29:27):
No, it was a whole ordeal. Get horse, shout the horse.
Let's go to Brandon. Good morning, Brandon, how are you
good morning doing today? We're doing great what's your dad joke?

Speaker 15 (01:29:39):
Okay, I got a couple for you.

Speaker 19 (01:29:41):
First off, what is the hawk's favorite day?

Speaker 5 (01:29:44):
What is a hawk's favorite day?

Speaker 14 (01:29:46):
What?

Speaker 5 (01:29:52):
That's a fresh one. That's a fresh one, all right?
And what's the other one?

Speaker 19 (01:29:57):
And then how do you make your waterbed more down
your hell? You do it with spring water?

Speaker 5 (01:30:03):
Kidding? Okay? All right, Brandon, thank you for the call.
How crazy is this? We have another Brandon Brandon number two.
Good morning, Brandon number two.

Speaker 15 (01:30:12):
Brandon number two.

Speaker 5 (01:30:13):
Yeah, what do you got?

Speaker 17 (01:30:14):
Good morning?

Speaker 6 (01:30:15):
Good morning?

Speaker 15 (01:30:15):
All right? There's a three legged dog walks into a bar,
jumps up on the counter, and he jumps up on
the counter and the bartend he's like, what.

Speaker 5 (01:30:23):
Are you doing with my bar?

Speaker 19 (01:30:24):
Dog?

Speaker 9 (01:30:24):
And the three legged dog said, I'm looking for the
man who shot my pall.

Speaker 15 (01:30:32):
I got another one.

Speaker 5 (01:30:33):
I got another little word of dad keep all their
jokes at? Where do dads keep all their jokes at?

Speaker 19 (01:30:38):
Where in the database?

Speaker 6 (01:30:41):
That what I got?

Speaker 5 (01:30:44):
Why am I not getting the three legged dog one.

Speaker 17 (01:30:47):
Like his little paw?

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
So he's limping, yeah, but then also like.

Speaker 2 (01:30:51):
His dad like I'm.

Speaker 5 (01:30:55):
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. There's layers to that, all right. Here
one four, one two? What drugs do fish do? What seaweed?
Which vegetables have the best kung fu skills? What brock league?

Speaker 18 (01:31:16):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:31:16):
Where did Captain Hook get his hook from a second
hand store? Here's one for the eight five six? What's
the difference between Woody from toy Story and a Catholic priest?

Speaker 14 (01:31:28):
What?

Speaker 5 (01:31:29):
What he goes limp when a child comes in the room.
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar?

Speaker 15 (01:31:39):
No?

Speaker 5 (01:31:39):
Each got six months. Let's say hi to Kyle. Good morning, Kyle,
good morning, We're doing great. What's your dad joke?

Speaker 15 (01:31:50):
All right?

Speaker 8 (01:31:50):
Starts off with the simple question here, what's the straight
horse heat?

Speaker 5 (01:31:54):
What does a straight horse eat?

Speaker 14 (01:31:56):
What?

Speaker 12 (01:31:57):
Hey?

Speaker 15 (01:31:58):
What's a gay horse heat?

Speaker 6 (01:32:00):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (01:32:01):
Okay, hey classic, Hey getting Kyle, thank you. Let's go
to Surge. Good morning, Surge, Good morning?

Speaker 20 (01:32:10):
What do you show?

Speaker 5 (01:32:10):
Morning? All right? Dad jokes? What do you got? Okay?

Speaker 9 (01:32:14):
Why does the mushroom get invited to every party?

Speaker 5 (01:32:17):
Why does the mushroom get invited to every party? I
feel like I've heard this one?

Speaker 15 (01:32:23):
Why right?

Speaker 5 (01:32:26):
It was right there? I could search. Thank you, appreciate
you listening, great weekend. Bye, Let's go to our good friend,
our loyal listener league. Good morning, good morning, good morning.
All right, So, uh, your Friday dad joke?

Speaker 18 (01:32:42):
What's the password the forest comes email?

Speaker 5 (01:32:45):
What is the password the forest comes email?

Speaker 9 (01:32:48):
What one forest?

Speaker 5 (01:32:51):
One show nailed it? Uh? Did you hear?

Speaker 15 (01:32:58):
Oh? No?

Speaker 5 (01:32:58):
What do you call a seagull that flies over a bay?
Tell us a bagel?

Speaker 15 (01:33:03):
Good?

Speaker 5 (01:33:04):
Why is marriage like algebra? Why?

Speaker 6 (01:33:08):
Because when you look at your ex you wonder why
I get at.

Speaker 5 (01:33:13):
Four sixty nine. I have a playlist that I listened
to on hikes. It contains music from the Cranberrys, Peanuts,
and eminem. I call it my trail mix. All right,
Getting Menae brings home?

Speaker 16 (01:33:26):
Oh okay, did you hear about the guy who drank
invisible ink? No, he's at the hospital waiting to be
seen getting visible. What do you call rude cowboy?

Speaker 20 (01:33:39):
What?

Speaker 12 (01:33:40):
Oh my bad?

Speaker 5 (01:33:41):
What do you call rude cow? Oh? Yes, a rude cow? Yeah,
so not cowboy? What do you call a rude cow? Okay?

Speaker 15 (01:33:52):
What?

Speaker 5 (01:33:52):
What beef jerky?

Speaker 15 (01:33:53):
I am.

Speaker 8 (01:33:56):
All right?

Speaker 5 (01:33:56):
Well there's your Friday dad jokes. Everybody, Thank you, everybody
appreciate participation. We're gonna take a quick break more. What
he shows next back a bit, back in a bit,
gag in a bit, check back in a bit. All right,

(01:34:17):
So pretty wild fight with this guy, twenty six year
old dude. He had way too many weed edibles before
his flight, and he was so messed up on the
flight that he ripped off his shirt. He started puffing
on his vate pen, yelled at and then hit a
crew member, try to have sex with a flight attendant,

(01:34:40):
and also tried opening the plane's door mid flight, so
the plane made an emergency landing in Utah to arrest him.

Speaker 16 (01:34:47):
Turn up, geez, I don't get the violence. Yeah, wait,
so I mean the sexual part. Yes, don't gonna make
you horny?

Speaker 12 (01:35:00):
Yeah, of course everything does. Yeah, everything it feels better.

Speaker 5 (01:35:04):
I knew that for like some some drugs y X
or whatever. I thought, like, uh, for the most part,
we just kind of made you tired, unmotivated from pretty
much everything.

Speaker 12 (01:35:14):
It enhances all the feelings on the string.

Speaker 5 (01:35:17):
That's what I was gonna say. So this guy, what's
this sativa or indica? Like Indica is in the country,
So this is clear like a sativa like an.

Speaker 12 (01:35:27):
Upper I guess, yeah, but it isn't like even sativa.

Speaker 5 (01:35:30):
But it's not even it's not really an upper. It's
not like it's coke or like a math.

Speaker 16 (01:35:35):
Energy drink or anything. Right, it just makes you less
tired than Yeah, does that sounds like he's out of
his mind? Though, Yeah, it doesn't sound congruous.

Speaker 5 (01:35:44):
Because he'll be allowed back on a plane tomorrow, you
know whatever. These are the people you put on no
fly list so you can't behave yourself on a plane,
and it's for a certain amount of time, like you're
banned for all airlines, not just the one, you're banned
from all airlines. Minimum.

Speaker 11 (01:36:00):
I would say three months for a first defense this guy,
this guy, Yeah, several years. I'm saying for like basic stuff,
minimum three months. And it depends on what you did. Obviously,
you try to open the door, you're punching a crew
member or whatever. That could be a lifetime band right
off the bat, that should be lifetime.

Speaker 6 (01:36:16):
Right, I'm surprised. Three months. I would say three years.

Speaker 5 (01:36:19):
For certain things, certain things like let's say you leave
garbage in the seatback pocket. Three months.

Speaker 11 (01:36:24):
Oh even that, Yeah, that's a good I like that
because it's a good slap on the wrist.

Speaker 5 (01:36:28):
That's a good. Oh hey, I can't three months. I mean,
how many people are really traveling every three months. It's
just the fact that you know that you can't, it'll
make you want to.

Speaker 6 (01:36:34):
And it's not difficult to behave for a few hours.

Speaker 5 (01:36:37):
Correct Now, if you want these people to pee on
the seats, oh, that's at least.

Speaker 6 (01:36:41):
Two years lifetime lifetime for them. Oh yeah, do not
fly list. Why would anybody in that?

Speaker 5 (01:36:47):
I don't know.

Speaker 13 (01:36:49):
Yeah, that's crazy, But I think opening the door is lifetime.
I don't know if being on the seat is equivalent
to trying to open the door.

Speaker 11 (01:36:57):
Yeah, Greg in the sentencing, I'll take it a step further.

Speaker 6 (01:37:01):
Being on a seat lifetime, opening the door lifetime, and prison.

Speaker 12 (01:37:05):
And people are weird though death parently people suck.

Speaker 5 (01:37:08):
We know you can't open the door, but just trying,
but just trying, even the attempt to do it exactly
should result in a lifetime band I.

Speaker 16 (01:37:14):
Mean, it's kind of like attempted murder exactly the exactly
you can open the door right at a certain altitude
if you're going.

Speaker 11 (01:37:22):
Yeah, it has to be, let's find out because it didn't.

Speaker 5 (01:37:24):
That's how it's the pressurization of the cabin. Altitude can
you open it. Mens question on the text, what are
you smoking that it makes you horny?

Speaker 16 (01:37:36):
I would say in the code whatever, I'm not saying
like overly horny, but I think like if you're having
a sexual experience, it enhanced enhance the experience.

Speaker 11 (01:37:46):
Yeah, okay, so here, mostly around ten thousand feet is
when the air pressure can possibly become low or high enough.

Speaker 5 (01:37:54):
I should say it open the door.

Speaker 16 (01:37:56):
Okay, it makes sense, So you gotta yeah, right where
and open the doors.

Speaker 5 (01:38:02):
They open it at the on the ground all the time.

Speaker 11 (01:38:03):
That is Yeah, that's that's where it usually like you
get that initial ding and then they tell you like, well,
we're now reached ten thousand feet and you can use
a proved portable electronic devices.

Speaker 5 (01:38:14):
Yeah, WiFi is black. Yeah, eight seven seven forty four
text us two to ninety seven your Friday check ins,
tell us who you are, and then where around town
you're listening exciting weekend plans. Let us know again on
your text your Friday check in over to two two
nine eight seven to stop kissing and snuggling turtles.

Speaker 15 (01:38:33):
Well, I think that's particulars.

Speaker 16 (01:38:34):
I think, yeah, you could have got Salmon Miller's it
sucks down

Speaker 15 (01:38:41):
Show

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