October 31, 2025 • 25 mins
DUIQ, News Headlines, Fail Stories, Dubai winner & More!
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Okay, okay, okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I know what that is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, this is the Woodie Show, and you have another
new hour, lockloaded, ready to go. Now, I'm looking around.
Where's uh, where's Morgan Morgan? Where's Morgan Morgan?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Tyler?
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Menjie, come on? Come on in, come on? All right herezy,
here's Morgan.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
Nice?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
All right, that's on?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, all right, Morgan. All right, there's a there's Morgan.
Here comes Tyler and Menji.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Walking here extra slow.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Yeah, they're not the quickest people. Menji is mad slow.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I've never seen anyone you're mad slow fire.
Speaker 7 (00:48):
I don't want to spoil a surprise, but is this
nineteen seventy six? All over our gangs? I'm seeing the Coneheads?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Uh huh, I've seen Magon. He recognize who we are.
Speaker 7 (00:57):
Like I said, it's the Coneheads. I don't know what
their names were. Been a long time since.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Ye movie. All right, now what are you wearing here?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We got to I have a my weighted vest, which
I'm using as a like an agent vest type. Right, okayes,
and I'm bald bald cap, I'm agent Sebastian.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I couldn't tell you part we've got other versions of
seas Now.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Men, which version of sea bass are you? I'm the
one right across it.
Speaker 8 (01:30):
As you can see, we're wearing the exact same colored
shirt and everything, the.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Present day, present days, present day, present day. And then
dumb ass Tyler, which version of sea bass you?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
So?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Morgan calls it bulking sea bass?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I call it fat sea bass?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So the one that is.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Also currently president getting it su whatever you say?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Fatty?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Wow?
Speaker 9 (01:56):
We got von I don't know v had the cap
on tip?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Was this the version of sea bass? When guys in
the street called me, Yeah, I'm a black bass.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Look it's black bass.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Here he's wearing a leisure were he's ready for the gym.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Rules.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Now, Greg, which one do you think is the most accurate?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I mean they all look pretty accurate.
Speaker 8 (02:24):
Probably he has a pop tart coke to prove it.
Oh damn, what you know? I eat pop tarts at
the studio all the time that I noticed. No, I
did notice that you're reading a pop tart. The other
day we were crossing paths. I was leaving the office,
you were walking into the office.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
One time. I just noticed it.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
The other day it's just a more current reference. But anyway,
swing and missus. I thought it was a curious choice
after non stop cakes. Yeah, he's gonna chase the cake
with a pop tart.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Maybe that's how you end up being like, uh, you know,
dumb ass, Sea Bass.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
This this right here leads to coke swort piece at
one in the morning.
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Oh yeah, it's a scare tactic, Sea Bass and Future.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know what are you wearing, Gina?
Speaker 10 (03:14):
Oh, I'm so comfortable today. I pulled out the Oogie
Boogie Onesie costume from what is it?
Speaker 7 (03:20):
Night Before Christmas?
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (03:22):
Yeah, it's so cute and looks so comfortable. I just
wanted an excuse to wear, you know, a furree onesie.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
At what point are you going to stop going around
dressed up in costume for trigger treating stuff?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Because you get suckered.
Speaker 10 (03:34):
Into this whenever the kid says, you know, in charge,
because it's how many more years could this possibly happen?
You know, if he likes it, we'll create a little
magic for him.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
This is not hard to do.
Speaker 7 (03:45):
I have a feeling this is a she's leading that.
Speaker 10 (03:50):
You guys have met me right Obviously Sea Bass hasn't
but that is not I would love nothing more than
just to wear human clothing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I don't know about that because I think you leave
the door wide open to this exactly.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
Okay, well, you're you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I never I've never done it because the door is
shut closed.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
It's no.
Speaker 10 (04:08):
You do other things for your kids that I would
never do. And he's if he wants me to wear
Oogie Boogie for another year, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You can't let these kids think that they're in charge.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
Man twist, she's twisting her arm or he's twisting her
arm right for whimsy.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, I'm saying like, you can't let these kids
think that they're in control.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You do it, you lose, You lose control.
Speaker 10 (04:28):
Trust me, he does not think he's in control.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
What age do you kids stop caring about trick or trees?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I don't know, Like thirteen, Well depends when my son
got into doing the whole decorating the yard thing.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
He was more interested in handing out the candy and
watching people react to the stuff that he's set up.
So for him. But like my daughter, she's going out
with her friends. Think it's later for girls. Yeah, she's
she's going out with her friends.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
She's thirteen, right, yeah, all right, So you what you're saying,
Guna is you're clinging to these last few years.
Speaker 10 (04:58):
I'm clinging exactly, clinging godhood.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
You give your steps on good memories.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
I know, I know SeaBASS is fourteen thousand kids he
doesn't take care of, but I got one, and I
want to make sure he's taken care of. Look, if
that's what he wants to do, I can wear a
pajama costume.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
If you're If you're into it, that's that's great.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It just like that to me, Like I see a newborn,
I go, My wife and I both would get like
that full body shiver, like can you imagine going back
to that? I never had that seup and then thinking like,
oh my god, she's doing this because the kid decided
that this is what we're gonna Then we're going to
walk around the neighborhood in a costume.
Speaker 10 (05:29):
He asked us, you know, can we do this this year?
Speaker 6 (05:31):
All right?
Speaker 10 (05:32):
But I think what I think is gonna happen is
this year he's going to see the other kids and
the other kids parents not dressed up, and he's gonna
be like, WHOA, back off, you too, and that's and he'll,
you know, he'll figure that out and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
He'll start going with his friends, which would be great.
Speaker 10 (05:46):
Yeah, and hopefully, but this is our first trick or
treating a new neighborhood, and we're all gonna go.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It's gonna be fine. Yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Well nice, nice work on the costumes.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
Oh you never got an answer to which one's your favorite?
Speaker 7 (05:59):
Sea bass is and big the Texas pointing this out,
big fail on none of them doing any kind of
cyber truck thing related to their costumes. I think the
only problem is between the four of them they can't
afford one.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Oh yeah, because buy a car for a costume, by
a car, you would wear one it Come on, Jesus, no.
Speaker 10 (06:17):
I think this is more accurate.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
But you don't deserve that much thought put into a mask.
We got the ball caps and that was the main.
Speaker 7 (06:21):
That that four people according to costume is not a
lot of that's that is some.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
But she's saying that would have been extra. Yeah, there
is a line.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I thought you'd be honored that we chose you could
have been anyone.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Well, you guys just did such a poor job. It's
the problem.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
I think that means you won this.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not like appease your ego in some weird way.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
Well, to see the problem is they're not doing it properly.
They're trying to undercut me.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
No, it does, they're trying to.
Speaker 12 (06:43):
Undergoing I consistently set the standard of excellence on everything.
I supported a colleague's growth by sharing feedback and mentoring them,
informally contributing to our value of continuous learning and development.
You are a hero fability and time for today's dumb
ass contests.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
It's a Friday tradition.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Today's dumb ass contest is the du IQ.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Eight seven seven forty four. What is the phone number?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
And before we get this contestant on the line, Sea
Bassing playing the way the game that works.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Everybody, please, I find.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Somebody very drunk and ask them just the most easy
questions you could ever imagine. So that's not the game.
The game isn't what's the answer to the question. The
game is the drunk person so drunk? Yeah, but they
will know the answer to these otherwise very easy questions.
And he can guess whether they know. Two times out
of three.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You win, and that you will be ben Hey, good morning, ben.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Hey. Yeah, all right, so Ben, you're gonna be the
contestant for this week's d u I Q. Now, before
we get to the questions, account Ben, we're gonna get
to know this person and see just how drunk or
with that they are, not with that they are before
we make you try to guess.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And who is this person?
Speaker 7 (07:53):
Cl perfect for spooky season?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's Damiens.
Speaker 7 (08:00):
Yeah, and Damien is so uh well, we're gonna find
out just how wasted Damien is. And I promised listen,
just listen to him. I promise this is not a
homeless person.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Damien.
Speaker 9 (08:08):
What do you get to drink this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
To all the questions, I.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like more beer than vodka.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
How many beers would you say you had this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Three weird?
Speaker 9 (08:19):
I don't believe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
You no, because I'm more vodka.
Speaker 9 (08:22):
Oh that makes yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Well I even more vodka than beer. And and I
wake up tomorrow. I'll wait, good, what are you gonna
wake up tomorrow?
Speaker 9 (08:34):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
We'll go home?
Speaker 9 (08:37):
You thin here to sleep on the street side or what?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I oh? No, one time I step on street and
at home, so I know how.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Holy well?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Home?
Speaker 7 (08:59):
Don't what the age is? Where you like it becomes
like oh funny, like oh like that stupid kid, to like, oh.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
That's sad, how old was heard? That's true? To stop
me when that happened? Questions on you?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Okay, here we go. Do you want to question number one?
Speaker 13 (09:21):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
What is his name?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Character?
Speaker 7 (09:27):
I'll take you know what, I'll take an after name
if you got that.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Oh that's right?
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Uh no to Damien, sure again on all of them.
I'll say no to Menace and.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
A couple of years since we had a Batman movie.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, I'll say in triple no, I'm going to.
Speaker 10 (09:48):
Say yes to Menace and no to Sammy and Damien.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Okay, and you're saying yes to Menace. I'm kind of
leaning that directions, but I think I'm gonna do quadruple no.
The fourth no is my.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So oh wow, you don't know the answer here?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Really, that's not surprising for great and I know the
actor as well.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Really yeah, wow, yeah, I agree, this is an easy one. Yes,
Menace and Sammy. Do you think that Damien is going
to get it?
Speaker 6 (10:14):
All?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Right? Ben?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
What do you think? Do you think that Damien gets
this one, yes or no, no way, no way, he
knows Alfred?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
All right, Oh there you go.
Speaker 13 (10:22):
Question number one, who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
What were you gonna say? Menace?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
I was gonna put Alfred, but I was not one
hundred percent in that an Sammy, Can I change my answer?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I said Jeeves, because we need something. You ask Jeeves?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Now?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Does anybody can you name the.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Actor a name?
Speaker 11 (10:42):
I can't even think of one actor that Michael Kine,
Michael Michael.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Remember he was in Jewels when Jaws was like in
the Mohamaemember, like the mommy shark was mad that the
other one was killed, and so it was like chasing
the sailboat down.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
Remember that one The shark actually growled dirty? Is it dirty? Rotten?
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Scoundrels?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Scoundrels.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Steve Martin never even seen Jaws all the way through
the original.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Really, I would have also accepted Alan Napier from the
TV series.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Well Ben said that Damien would not get it. Let's
see if he's right. Question number one, d U I Q.
Speaker 13 (11:19):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Wait? The last one he was, what do you think
it is? Yeah? Yeah, I can do.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It all right, well, Ben, you're on the board. You
got one, and Ben, don't shout out the answer. Don't
give us the answers because we're seeing it these guys.
That's a question number two.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Do U i Q.
Speaker 9 (11:46):
If a woman gets an i U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 5 (11:50):
All right?
Speaker 7 (11:51):
Bonus points for? What does it stand for?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No for Damien.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I was gonna say yes for Samy, but then I
remember we like just dumped around a couple of you know,
these uh women's health questions.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
I bet she knows this.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I'll say yes Menace, yes, now do can either one
of them?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Tell us what it stands for? And double no.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I'm going to say no to Damien obviously, right, yes
to Sammy and no to what it stands for. And
I'm saying yes to Menace no for what it's doing.
Speaker 10 (12:29):
All right, Yeah, I'm also saying yes to Samy and Menace,
no to Damien.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Ben, what do you think? Yes or no for Damien?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
You for Damien?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I Question number two.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
D U i Q.
Speaker 9 (12:46):
A woman gets an I U D. What is she
trying to prevent?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Sammy pregnancy? Menace pregnancy? What does it stand for?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Alright, Sammy inserted uterus device.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Us.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
She's circling around the answer, Yeah, what about mine?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, you're farther away.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
What did you say again?
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Was injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Interplanetary uranus device?
Speaker 10 (13:21):
I'm sure Gina will tell you inter your inter uterine device?
Intra uterine device?
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Probably Okay, I was very thought it was inner uterine
like in her uterine.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That's not device. Nobody knows what question number two do
U I Q?
Speaker 9 (13:37):
If a woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Vagina? No vagina? I never had vagina?
Speaker 13 (13:51):
You never had vagina?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
No, never, just became a confession vagina.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Maybe you can give him some, buddy.
Speaker 10 (14:00):
Yeah, here's a little vagina for you.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Well then, well he doesn't even want to hang out
afterwards a cuddle. He just wants to go home. It's
probably for the best.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I think he died without ever having china. There's no
way that night. All right.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Well, hey, Ben, congratulations.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
You are a winner on a very very stressful round
here on the d U y T. All right, man, hey,
enjoy your weekend. Thank you for listening. Hang on one
second we'll get all your information.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay, thank you. All right, there's there's Ben. Everybody you
talk about.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Question number three, which Ben didn't nebel play for funds,
he's how.
Speaker 9 (14:38):
Many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
This might be the easiest one I've ever asked Greg.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
It's right up there. Oh there is the sky?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I mean even Damien should get this, even.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
The dead guy.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
I'm still saying, I say, no, dog, I never had
a Maybe is from another country.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
You don't know that.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
What's the Libya or some other country that uses to
the metric system?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
So noted Damien, and yes to these two.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Everybody uses a home what everybody uses the metric system?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Liberia, That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 10 (15:17):
Okay, and Miama, I'm gonna say I'm going to say
yes to Samy and Menace and not a big big
dog Damien.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
A noted Damien. Yes to both Menace and Sammy medic
and Sammy. Do you think that Damien gets it?
Speaker 10 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, No. Question number three, d u I Q how.
Speaker 13 (15:33):
Many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 9 (15:36):
It's correct? How many inches are you?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Bye?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I continue twelve and make.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
You feel good?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There we go.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
He could use that for all his vagina that he gets.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (15:50):
Now, were the people sharing in the background just happened
to be perfect timing?
Speaker 6 (15:55):
Were they happy for him?
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:56):
Give him a win where you can take it or
you can find it.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Hey, what do you call a big jack lantern? Was
a plumpkin?
Speaker 10 (16:05):
What you weigh a millennial in instagrams?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Gives a lizard and a girlfriend? Fine, he had a
reptile dysfunctions. That's a show, Greg Salas.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
How uh.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
So where he lived, there's like the center Median and
the city did such a subpar job, like cleaning it up.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes that Greg is tempted to just go clean it himself.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
It's underneath a gigantic pine tree. It's where three streets intersect,
so it's a triangular center island medium thing. They just
gotch a bad job. Do I want to do it? Yes?
But I think I might be too embarrassed to like
throw my garbage can in the truck, get my quick
way go down there and just start. You'd be here
(16:57):
and a rake and cleaning it and everyone you because
I'm just like Joe Schmoe.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
They'll be like, Wow, what a great guy, This guy
really cares about the community.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
I drive by it every single day.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I look at it and I thought, this is well
fail fail on the city's pod.
Speaker 11 (17:11):
I think people don't even understand that job you're saying
right now because such a bad cleaning it up, because
people might think you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
Are you just talking about trimming the hedges.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
It's just a pine tree inside this concrete center median
and it was about let's say, six inches deep in
pine needles. Now it's about one inch deep, like it
couldn't go the extra mile and just clean it all,
and then there's weeds coming through the cracks.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yeah, to get a little ground clear. Let me So
you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
No, no, it's not slightly not garbage. It's not actual garbage.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Profeeds and piney.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
Pro tip, Greg, if you do want to not be
just Joe Schmoe, you can very easily buy some safety
gear safety vest.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I just have like a greenish reflective vest.
Speaker 10 (17:58):
Breg somethtimes you'll never wear that.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
You can wear a big floppy hat, you wear a
mask and sunglasses exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Now you have the citizens doing it the way to
go h official.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
Yeah great, yeah, thanks, I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I would do that and you have Yeah, I have
done it, right, But that's because I was walking over
that area every day and it was it was not pleasant, right,
and this is what I have to drive by every
day and look at it hurts my eyes. So I
brought the I brought the leaf blower out and I
that's what I want to do, and I cleared it
and it was easy. Anytime, and anytime you get to
(18:30):
use stuff like that, anytime you get to use like
a reciprocating saw whatever, it's like.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
My weed whacker, yeah, which you can angle into like
in between cracks.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So good.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
All right, Well, time for the official round of this
week's Friday fail stories.
Speaker 8 (18:46):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it this
time for your Fridays fall story.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Word.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, other people thought they have the perfect plan, the
plan that can never go wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
But then somewhere along the line, I went for being
a great idea, the one big steak in Mega uber Ultra.
(20:00):
Yeah pretty good.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Yeah yeah, and that was nic Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
All right, Friday faild stories. First one here is from.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Nevada where the cops they were called about a driver
who was driving terribly quote unquote, had driven off the
road five separate times. State troopers caught up with the
driver asked them how much they had to drink, and
they responded by saying only two shots. At the nearby casino,
cops had him take a breathalyzer, Greg where they drunk.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
You bet you know it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
The driver arrested and then shouted the troopers saying, you
ruined my life.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Turns out the driver, forty four year old woman works
or should I say, used to work, solving criminal justice
issues related to d uys and DUI arrests, and so
now she is awaiting her own DUI trial at some
point next month, so sailed yeah.
Speaker 7 (20:55):
Social experiment.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
The next one is about this woman who is at
home cleaning her apartment where she came face to face
with a cockroach. So she committed suicide. Like Greg, she
freaked out, yep. She went to the kitchen, she grabbed
some spray blame her lighter, used that combo as a
(21:17):
homemade blow torch, as we all have at one point
I have. She let that sucker up and up in flames.
It went along with the apartment before she knew what
the fire had spread it was out of control. When
it was all said and done, the apartment was toast.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
It was a loss.
Speaker 6 (21:33):
Yeah, but I mean if it has roaches, who and
one of the.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Neighbors is dead because they fell out of the window
while they were trying to escape the flames.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Sailed.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Yeah, I mean, just be slippy mcflipperson.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I guess I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, don't be slips and mcslippers.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
You took the words out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
This is from Maine with this guy.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
He was driving and he noticed something fly off of
his car and that's when I remember, like, oh my god,
I left something on the roof.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
What was on the roof?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
You ask no big his child seven thousand dollars in cash.
So the money landed in the middle of the road
and the guy he's pulling a U turn at this
point to go back and pick it up. Well halfway
through the turn, he noticed that another car had already
slowed down, and by the time he drove up to
the money, another guy was scooping it up and he
(22:32):
grabbed most of it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He took off.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
The whole thing caught on dash can the cops they're
trying their best to find the guy who scooped up
the cash, But so far no luck.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
In the window sailed that.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
The most money I ever held in my hand was
three thousand dollars because I sold a car. I think
I held it in the car on my way to
the back. I think I even left my hand.
Speaker 7 (22:56):
You're afraid some money grabbed.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
I'm holding three thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And when you go to the bank too. There were
those stories for a while that people were like watching
people leave the bank and following them home.
Speaker 10 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know, Well Greg's waving it around like
a golden ticket.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, look what I got.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
This next one is from Florida. This guy he went
to a gas station, he robbed the place. He took
off with seven thousand dollars worth of scratcher tickets.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh all right, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
He was long gone by the time the cops got there.
But then two hours later he was back, this time
no mask. Notice, guys.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
He was there just to redeem some winning scratchers.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You go.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And he was in the store for about ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Couldn't get the tickets to work, you know on ACNA
they were reported stolen, So he got in the car
he drove to another gas station and there he robbed
that place for one hundred and twenty bucks. The cops
they finally caught up to him, he was arrested, and
he is now in fail jail. Sales best and brightest dumbass,
and then I hear I'll give you one of my
(23:56):
favorite fail stories of the week. This is about these
two teenagers who came up with a way to make
some quick cash. They were pretty good with computers, so
they hacked into the database of a chain of preschools
and proceeded to steal the data and pictures of thousands
of students, and then from there they posted the pictures
(24:17):
on the dark web. They called the preschool they demanded
over eight hundred thousand dollars in Bitcoin to take them down.
The preschool's like, yeah, right, not having it.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
They didn't care. We don't cave.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So the two idiots they started calling all of the
parents of the kids whose pictures they posted and were
encouraging them, pushing them to pressure the school into paying
the eight hundred thousand dollars. Well, the parents didn't care either.
That didn't That didn't work. Long story longer, the cops
tracked them down and they were taking the fail jail sale.
(24:53):
They realized that they weren't getting anywhere, and then they
went to go like try to apologize and say like, oh,
well we were just blah blah bah blah bla and yeah,
frank In.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
This is where you use the excuse of social experiment.
It was just an experiment.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was just to point out the security flaws in
their system to show how easy it was for them.
Embarrassed you failed, you should be thanking us, right, I
don't understand. This is a weird way to say thank you. Yeah,
you're having us arrested. Yeah, eight seven seven forty four
Woodie Friday check ins. Send those on the text over
to two two nine eight seven.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The Woody Show. We'll be right back.
Okay, okay, okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I know what that is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, this is the Woodie Show, and you have another
new hour, lockloaded, ready to go. Now, I'm looking around.
Where's uh, where's Morgan Morgan? Where's Morgan Morgan?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Tyler?
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Menjie, come on? Come on in, come on? All right herezy,
here's Morgan.
Speaker 5 (00:27):
Nice?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
All right, that's on?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, all right, Morgan. All right, there's a there's Morgan.
Here comes Tyler and Menji.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Walking here extra slow.
Speaker 6 (00:39):
Yeah, they're not the quickest people. Menji is mad slow.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
I've never seen anyone you're mad slow fire.
Speaker 7 (00:48):
I don't want to spoil a surprise, but is this
nineteen seventy six? All over our gangs? I'm seeing the Coneheads?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Uh huh, I've seen Magon. He recognize who we are.
Speaker 7 (00:57):
Like I said, it's the Coneheads. I don't know what
their names were. Been a long time since.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Ye movie. All right, now what are you wearing here?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We got to I have a my weighted vest, which
I'm using as a like an agent vest type. Right, okayes,
and I'm bald bald cap, I'm agent Sebastian.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know what.
Speaker 4 (01:23):
I couldn't tell you part we've got other versions of
seas Now.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Men, which version of sea bass are you? I'm the
one right across it.
Speaker 8 (01:30):
As you can see, we're wearing the exact same colored
shirt and everything, the.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Present day, present days, present day, present day. And then
dumb ass Tyler, which version of sea bass you?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
So?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Morgan calls it bulking sea bass?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I call it fat sea bass?
Speaker 1 (01:44):
So the one that is.
Speaker 5 (01:46):
Also currently president getting it su whatever you say?
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Fatty?
Speaker 3 (01:54):
Wow?
Speaker 9 (01:56):
We got von I don't know v had the cap
on tip?
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Was this the version of sea bass? When guys in
the street called me, Yeah, I'm a black bass.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Look it's black bass.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Here he's wearing a leisure were he's ready for the gym.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Rules.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Now, Greg, which one do you think is the most accurate?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I mean they all look pretty accurate.
Speaker 8 (02:24):
Probably he has a pop tart coke to prove it.
Oh damn, what you know? I eat pop tarts at
the studio all the time that I noticed. No, I
did notice that you're reading a pop tart. The other
day we were crossing paths. I was leaving the office,
you were walking into the office.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
One time. I just noticed it.
Speaker 3 (02:44):
The other day it's just a more current reference. But anyway,
swing and missus. I thought it was a curious choice
after non stop cakes. Yeah, he's gonna chase the cake
with a pop tart.
Speaker 5 (02:56):
Sounds good.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Maybe that's how you end up being like, uh, you know,
dumb ass, Sea Bass.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
This this right here leads to coke swort piece at
one in the morning.
Speaker 8 (03:04):
Oh yeah, it's a scare tactic, Sea Bass and Future.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know what are you wearing, Gina?
Speaker 10 (03:14):
Oh, I'm so comfortable today. I pulled out the Oogie
Boogie Onesie costume from what is it?
Speaker 7 (03:20):
Night Before Christmas?
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 10 (03:22):
Yeah, it's so cute and looks so comfortable. I just
wanted an excuse to wear, you know, a furree onesie.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
At what point are you going to stop going around
dressed up in costume for trigger treating stuff?
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Because you get suckered.
Speaker 10 (03:34):
Into this whenever the kid says, you know, in charge,
because it's how many more years could this possibly happen?
You know, if he likes it, we'll create a little
magic for him.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
This is not hard to do.
Speaker 7 (03:45):
I have a feeling this is a she's leading that.
Speaker 10 (03:50):
You guys have met me right Obviously Sea Bass hasn't
but that is not I would love nothing more than
just to wear human clothing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I don't know about that because I think you leave
the door wide open to this exactly.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
Okay, well, you're you're wrong.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
I never I've never done it because the door is
shut closed.
Speaker 5 (04:07):
It's no.
Speaker 10 (04:08):
You do other things for your kids that I would
never do. And he's if he wants me to wear
Oogie Boogie for another year, that's fine.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
You can't let these kids think that they're in charge.
Speaker 7 (04:16):
Man twist, she's twisting her arm or he's twisting her
arm right for whimsy.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, I'm saying like, you can't let these kids
think that they're in control.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
You do it, you lose, You lose control.
Speaker 10 (04:28):
Trust me, he does not think he's in control.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
What age do you kids stop caring about trick or trees?
Speaker 3 (04:32):
I don't know, Like thirteen, Well depends when my son
got into doing the whole decorating the yard thing.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
He was more interested in handing out the candy and
watching people react to the stuff that he's set up.
So for him. But like my daughter, she's going out
with her friends. Think it's later for girls. Yeah, she's
she's going out with her friends.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
She's thirteen, right, yeah, all right, So you what you're saying,
Guna is you're clinging to these last few years.
Speaker 10 (04:58):
I'm clinging exactly, clinging godhood.
Speaker 4 (05:01):
You give your steps on good memories.
Speaker 10 (05:02):
I know, I know SeaBASS is fourteen thousand kids he
doesn't take care of, but I got one, and I
want to make sure he's taken care of. Look, if
that's what he wants to do, I can wear a
pajama costume.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
If you're If you're into it, that's that's great.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It just like that to me, Like I see a newborn,
I go, My wife and I both would get like
that full body shiver, like can you imagine going back
to that? I never had that seup and then thinking like,
oh my god, she's doing this because the kid decided
that this is what we're gonna Then we're going to
walk around the neighborhood in a costume.
Speaker 10 (05:29):
He asked us, you know, can we do this this year?
Speaker 6 (05:31):
All right?
Speaker 10 (05:32):
But I think what I think is gonna happen is
this year he's going to see the other kids and
the other kids parents not dressed up, and he's gonna
be like, WHOA, back off, you too, and that's and he'll,
you know, he'll figure that out and.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
He'll start going with his friends, which would be great.
Speaker 10 (05:46):
Yeah, and hopefully, but this is our first trick or
treating a new neighborhood, and we're all gonna go.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
It's gonna be fine. Yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Well nice, nice work on the costumes.
Speaker 11 (05:55):
Oh you never got an answer to which one's your favorite?
Speaker 7 (05:59):
Sea bass is and big the Texas pointing this out,
big fail on none of them doing any kind of
cyber truck thing related to their costumes. I think the
only problem is between the four of them they can't
afford one.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Oh yeah, because buy a car for a costume, by
a car, you would wear one it Come on, Jesus, no.
Speaker 10 (06:17):
I think this is more accurate.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
But you don't deserve that much thought put into a mask.
We got the ball caps and that was the main.
Speaker 7 (06:21):
That that four people according to costume is not a
lot of that's that is some.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
But she's saying that would have been extra. Yeah, there
is a line.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I thought you'd be honored that we chose you could
have been anyone.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Well, you guys just did such a poor job. It's
the problem.
Speaker 10 (06:34):
I think that means you won this.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Not like appease your ego in some weird way.
Speaker 7 (06:38):
Well, to see the problem is they're not doing it properly.
They're trying to undercut me.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
No, it does, they're trying to.
Speaker 12 (06:43):
Undergoing I consistently set the standard of excellence on everything.
I supported a colleague's growth by sharing feedback and mentoring them,
informally contributing to our value of continuous learning and development.
You are a hero fability and time for today's dumb
ass contests.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
It's a Friday tradition.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Today's dumb ass contest is the du IQ.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Eight seven seven forty four. What is the phone number?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
And before we get this contestant on the line, Sea
Bassing playing the way the game that works.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
Everybody, please, I find.
Speaker 7 (07:19):
Somebody very drunk and ask them just the most easy
questions you could ever imagine. So that's not the game.
The game isn't what's the answer to the question. The
game is the drunk person so drunk? Yeah, but they
will know the answer to these otherwise very easy questions.
And he can guess whether they know. Two times out
of three.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You win, and that you will be ben Hey, good morning, ben.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Hey. Yeah, all right, so Ben, you're gonna be the
contestant for this week's d u I Q. Now, before
we get to the questions, account Ben, we're gonna get
to know this person and see just how drunk or
with that they are, not with that they are before
we make you try to guess.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
And who is this person?
Speaker 7 (07:53):
Cl perfect for spooky season?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's Damiens.
Speaker 7 (08:00):
Yeah, and Damien is so uh well, we're gonna find
out just how wasted Damien is. And I promised listen,
just listen to him. I promise this is not a
homeless person.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Damien.
Speaker 9 (08:08):
What do you get to drink this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Huh?
Speaker 5 (08:12):
No?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
To all the questions, I.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like more beer than vodka.
Speaker 9 (08:16):
How many beers would you say you had this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Three weird?
Speaker 9 (08:19):
I don't believe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
You no, because I'm more vodka.
Speaker 9 (08:22):
Oh that makes yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Well I even more vodka than beer. And and I
wake up tomorrow. I'll wait, good, what are you gonna
wake up tomorrow?
Speaker 9 (08:34):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
We'll go home?
Speaker 9 (08:37):
You thin here to sleep on the street side or what?
Speaker 2 (08:40):
I oh? No, one time I step on street and
at home, so I know how.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Holy well?
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Home?
Speaker 7 (08:59):
Don't what the age is? Where you like it becomes
like oh funny, like oh like that stupid kid, to like, oh.
Speaker 5 (09:06):
That's sad, how old was heard? That's true? To stop
me when that happened? Questions on you?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
Okay, here we go. Do you want to question number one?
Speaker 13 (09:21):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (09:23):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
What is his name?
Speaker 1 (09:26):
Character?
Speaker 7 (09:27):
I'll take you know what, I'll take an after name
if you got that.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Oh that's right?
Speaker 5 (09:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
Uh no to Damien, sure again on all of them.
I'll say no to Menace and.
Speaker 7 (09:41):
A couple of years since we had a Batman movie.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, I'll say in triple no, I'm going to.
Speaker 10 (09:48):
Say yes to Menace and no to Sammy and Damien.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Okay, and you're saying yes to Menace. I'm kind of
leaning that directions, but I think I'm gonna do quadruple no.
The fourth no is my.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So oh wow, you don't know the answer here?
Speaker 7 (10:02):
Really, that's not surprising for great and I know the
actor as well.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Really yeah, wow, yeah, I agree, this is an easy one. Yes,
Menace and Sammy. Do you think that Damien is going
to get it?
Speaker 6 (10:14):
All?
Speaker 5 (10:15):
Right? Ben?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
What do you think? Do you think that Damien gets
this one, yes or no, no way, no way, he
knows Alfred?
Speaker 5 (10:21):
All right, Oh there you go.
Speaker 13 (10:22):
Question number one, who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
What were you gonna say? Menace?
Speaker 6 (10:27):
I was gonna put Alfred, but I was not one
hundred percent in that an Sammy, Can I change my answer?
Speaker 3 (10:34):
No?
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I said Jeeves, because we need something. You ask Jeeves?
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Now?
Speaker 1 (10:39):
Does anybody can you name the.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Actor a name?
Speaker 11 (10:42):
I can't even think of one actor that Michael Kine,
Michael Michael.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Remember he was in Jewels when Jaws was like in
the Mohamaemember, like the mommy shark was mad that the
other one was killed, and so it was like chasing
the sailboat down.
Speaker 5 (10:57):
Remember that one The shark actually growled dirty? Is it dirty? Rotten?
Speaker 6 (11:01):
Scoundrels?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Scoundrels.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Steve Martin never even seen Jaws all the way through
the original.
Speaker 7 (11:08):
Really, I would have also accepted Alan Napier from the
TV series.
Speaker 5 (11:12):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Well Ben said that Damien would not get it. Let's
see if he's right. Question number one, d U I Q.
Speaker 13 (11:19):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Wait? The last one he was, what do you think
it is? Yeah? Yeah, I can do.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It all right, well, Ben, you're on the board. You
got one, and Ben, don't shout out the answer. Don't
give us the answers because we're seeing it these guys.
That's a question number two.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Do U i Q.
Speaker 9 (11:46):
If a woman gets an i U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 5 (11:50):
All right?
Speaker 7 (11:51):
Bonus points for? What does it stand for?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Okay?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No for Damien.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I was gonna say yes for Samy, but then I
remember we like just dumped around a couple of you know,
these uh women's health questions.
Speaker 7 (12:08):
I bet she knows this.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I'll say yes Menace, yes, now do can either one
of them?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do?
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Tell us what it stands for? And double no.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I'm going to say no to Damien obviously, right, yes
to Sammy and no to what it stands for. And
I'm saying yes to Menace no for what it's doing.
Speaker 10 (12:29):
All right, Yeah, I'm also saying yes to Samy and Menace,
no to Damien.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Ben, what do you think? Yes or no for Damien?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
You for Damien?
Speaker 1 (12:43):
I Question number two.
Speaker 5 (12:45):
D U i Q.
Speaker 9 (12:46):
A woman gets an I U D. What is she
trying to prevent?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Sammy pregnancy? Menace pregnancy? What does it stand for?
Speaker 3 (12:56):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (12:56):
Injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
Alright, Sammy inserted uterus device.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
Us.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
She's circling around the answer, Yeah, what about mine?
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, you're farther away.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
What did you say again?
Speaker 6 (13:15):
Was injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
Interplanetary uranus device?
Speaker 10 (13:21):
I'm sure Gina will tell you inter your inter uterine device?
Intra uterine device?
Speaker 5 (13:28):
Probably Okay, I was very thought it was inner uterine
like in her uterine.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
That's not device. Nobody knows what question number two do
U I Q?
Speaker 9 (13:37):
If a woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Vagina? No vagina? I never had vagina?
Speaker 13 (13:51):
You never had vagina?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
No, never, just became a confession vagina.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Maybe you can give him some, buddy.
Speaker 10 (14:00):
Yeah, here's a little vagina for you.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Well then, well he doesn't even want to hang out
afterwards a cuddle. He just wants to go home. It's
probably for the best.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I think he died without ever having china. There's no
way that night. All right.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Well, hey, Ben, congratulations.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
You are a winner on a very very stressful round
here on the d U y T. All right, man, hey,
enjoy your weekend. Thank you for listening. Hang on one
second we'll get all your information.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay, thank you. All right, there's there's Ben. Everybody you
talk about.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
Question number three, which Ben didn't nebel play for funds,
he's how.
Speaker 9 (14:38):
Many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 1 (14:40):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 7 (14:41):
This might be the easiest one I've ever asked Greg.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
It's right up there. Oh there is the sky?
Speaker 1 (14:48):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I mean even Damien should get this, even.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
The dead guy.
Speaker 11 (14:54):
I'm still saying, I say, no, dog, I never had
a Maybe is from another country.
Speaker 5 (15:01):
You don't know that.
Speaker 7 (15:04):
What's the Libya or some other country that uses to
the metric system?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
So noted Damien, and yes to these two.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Everybody uses a home what everybody uses the metric system?
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Liberia, That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 10 (15:17):
Okay, and Miama, I'm gonna say I'm going to say
yes to Samy and Menace and not a big big
dog Damien.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
A noted Damien. Yes to both Menace and Sammy medic
and Sammy. Do you think that Damien gets it?
Speaker 10 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, No. Question number three, d u I Q how.
Speaker 13 (15:33):
Many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 9 (15:36):
It's correct? How many inches are you?
Speaker 5 (15:40):
Bye?
Speaker 2 (15:40):
I continue twelve and make.
Speaker 5 (15:44):
You feel good?
Speaker 3 (15:46):
There we go.
Speaker 5 (15:47):
He could use that for all his vagina that he gets.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 11 (15:50):
Now, were the people sharing in the background just happened
to be perfect timing?
Speaker 6 (15:55):
Were they happy for him?
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:56):
Give him a win where you can take it or
you can find it.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Hey, what do you call a big jack lantern? Was
a plumpkin?
Speaker 10 (16:05):
What you weigh a millennial in instagrams?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Gives a lizard and a girlfriend? Fine, he had a
reptile dysfunctions. That's a show, Greg Salas.
Speaker 5 (16:20):
How uh.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
So where he lived, there's like the center Median and
the city did such a subpar job, like cleaning it up.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
Yes that Greg is tempted to just go clean it himself.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
It's underneath a gigantic pine tree. It's where three streets intersect,
so it's a triangular center island medium thing. They just
gotch a bad job. Do I want to do it? Yes?
But I think I might be too embarrassed to like
throw my garbage can in the truck, get my quick
way go down there and just start. You'd be here
(16:57):
and a rake and cleaning it and everyone you because
I'm just like Joe Schmoe.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
Or whatever.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
They'll be like, Wow, what a great guy, This guy
really cares about the community.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
I drive by it every single day.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
I look at it and I thought, this is well
fail fail on the city's pod.
Speaker 11 (17:11):
I think people don't even understand that job you're saying
right now because such a bad cleaning it up, because
people might think you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
Are you just talking about trimming the hedges.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
It's just a pine tree inside this concrete center median
and it was about let's say, six inches deep in
pine needles. Now it's about one inch deep, like it
couldn't go the extra mile and just clean it all,
and then there's weeds coming through the cracks.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Yeah, to get a little ground clear. Let me So
you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
No, no, it's not slightly not garbage. It's not actual garbage.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
Profeeds and piney.
Speaker 7 (17:47):
Pro tip, Greg, if you do want to not be
just Joe Schmoe, you can very easily buy some safety
gear safety vest.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I just have like a greenish reflective vest.
Speaker 10 (17:58):
Breg somethtimes you'll never wear that.
Speaker 7 (18:00):
You can wear a big floppy hat, you wear a
mask and sunglasses exactly.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Now you have the citizens doing it the way to
go h official.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
Yeah great, yeah, thanks, I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I would do that and you have Yeah, I have
done it, right, But that's because I was walking over
that area every day and it was it was not pleasant, right,
and this is what I have to drive by every
day and look at it hurts my eyes. So I
brought the I brought the leaf blower out and I
that's what I want to do, and I cleared it
and it was easy. Anytime, and anytime you get to
(18:30):
use stuff like that, anytime you get to use like
a reciprocating saw whatever, it's like.
Speaker 5 (18:35):
My weed whacker, yeah, which you can angle into like
in between cracks.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So good.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
All right, Well, time for the official round of this
week's Friday fail stories.
Speaker 8 (18:46):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it this
time for your Fridays fall story.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
Word.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Yeah, other people thought they have the perfect plan, the
plan that can never go wrong.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
But then somewhere along the line, I went for being
a great idea, the one big steak in Mega uber Ultra.
(20:00):
Yeah pretty good.
Speaker 5 (20:01):
Yeah yeah, and that was nic Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
All right, Friday faild stories. First one here is from.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Nevada where the cops they were called about a driver
who was driving terribly quote unquote, had driven off the
road five separate times. State troopers caught up with the
driver asked them how much they had to drink, and
they responded by saying only two shots. At the nearby casino,
cops had him take a breathalyzer, Greg where they drunk.
Speaker 5 (20:28):
You bet you know it.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
The driver arrested and then shouted the troopers saying, you
ruined my life.
Speaker 9 (20:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Turns out the driver, forty four year old woman works
or should I say, used to work, solving criminal justice
issues related to d uys and DUI arrests, and so
now she is awaiting her own DUI trial at some
point next month, so sailed yeah.
Speaker 7 (20:55):
Social experiment.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
The next one is about this woman who is at
home cleaning her apartment where she came face to face
with a cockroach. So she committed suicide. Like Greg, she
freaked out, yep. She went to the kitchen, she grabbed
some spray blame her lighter, used that combo as a
(21:17):
homemade blow torch, as we all have at one point
I have. She let that sucker up and up in flames.
It went along with the apartment before she knew what
the fire had spread it was out of control. When
it was all said and done, the apartment was toast.
Speaker 5 (21:32):
It was a loss.
Speaker 6 (21:33):
Yeah, but I mean if it has roaches, who and
one of the.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
Neighbors is dead because they fell out of the window
while they were trying to escape the flames.
Speaker 5 (21:44):
Sailed.
Speaker 6 (21:45):
Yeah, I mean, just be slippy mcflipperson.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I guess I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, don't be slips and mcslippers.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
You took the words out of my mouth.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
This is from Maine with this guy.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
He was driving and he noticed something fly off of
his car and that's when I remember, like, oh my god,
I left something on the roof.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
What was on the roof?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
You ask no big his child seven thousand dollars in cash.
So the money landed in the middle of the road
and the guy he's pulling a U turn at this
point to go back and pick it up. Well halfway
through the turn, he noticed that another car had already
slowed down, and by the time he drove up to
the money, another guy was scooping it up and he
(22:32):
grabbed most of it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He took off.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
The whole thing caught on dash can the cops they're
trying their best to find the guy who scooped up
the cash, But so far no luck.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
In the window sailed that.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
The most money I ever held in my hand was
three thousand dollars because I sold a car. I think
I held it in the car on my way to
the back. I think I even left my hand.
Speaker 7 (22:56):
You're afraid some money grabbed.
Speaker 5 (22:57):
I'm holding three thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
And when you go to the bank too. There were
those stories for a while that people were like watching
people leave the bank and following them home.
Speaker 10 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know, Well Greg's waving it around like
a golden ticket.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, look what I got.
Speaker 3 (23:14):
This next one is from Florida. This guy he went
to a gas station, he robbed the place. He took
off with seven thousand dollars worth of scratcher tickets.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh all right, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
He was long gone by the time the cops got there.
But then two hours later he was back, this time
no mask. Notice, guys.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
He was there just to redeem some winning scratchers.
Speaker 3 (23:31):
You go.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
And he was in the store for about ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Couldn't get the tickets to work, you know on ACNA
they were reported stolen, So he got in the car
he drove to another gas station and there he robbed
that place for one hundred and twenty bucks. The cops
they finally caught up to him, he was arrested, and
he is now in fail jail. Sales best and brightest dumbass,
and then I hear I'll give you one of my
(23:56):
favorite fail stories of the week. This is about these
two teenagers who came up with a way to make
some quick cash. They were pretty good with computers, so
they hacked into the database of a chain of preschools
and proceeded to steal the data and pictures of thousands
of students, and then from there they posted the pictures
(24:17):
on the dark web. They called the preschool they demanded
over eight hundred thousand dollars in Bitcoin to take them down.
The preschool's like, yeah, right, not having it.
Speaker 5 (24:29):
They didn't care. We don't cave.
Speaker 3 (24:31):
So the two idiots they started calling all of the
parents of the kids whose pictures they posted and were
encouraging them, pushing them to pressure the school into paying
the eight hundred thousand dollars. Well, the parents didn't care either.
That didn't That didn't work. Long story longer, the cops
tracked them down and they were taking the fail jail sale.
(24:53):
They realized that they weren't getting anywhere, and then they
went to go like try to apologize and say like, oh,
well we were just blah blah bah blah bla and yeah,
frank In.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
This is where you use the excuse of social experiment.
It was just an experiment.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was just to point out the security flaws in
their system to show how easy it was for them.
Embarrassed you failed, you should be thanking us, right, I
don't understand. This is a weird way to say thank you. Yeah,
you're having us arrested. Yeah, eight seven seven forty four
Woodie Friday check ins. Send those on the text over
to two two nine eight seven.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The Woody Show. We'll be right back.
The Woody Show News
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