October 31, 2025 • 25 mins
DUIQ, News Headlines, Fail Stories, Dubai winner & More!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Okay, okay, okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I know what that is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, this is the Woodie Show, and you have another
new hour, lockloaded, ready to go. Now, I'm looking around, where's.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Uh, where's Morgan Morgan? Where's Morgan Morgan?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Tyler?
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Menjie, come on, come on in, come on? All right,
here's here's Morgan.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Nice, all right, best on?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, all right, Morgan, all right, there's a there's Morgan.
Here comes Tyler and Menji.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Walking here extra slow.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, they're not the quickest people. Menji is mad slow.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I've never seen anyone you're mad slow fire.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
I don't want to spoil a surprise, but is this
nineteen seventy six? All over our gangs? I'm seeing the Coneheads?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Uh huh, I've seen Magon.
Speaker 7 (00:56):
You.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I recognize who we are.
Speaker 6 (00:57):
Like I said, the Coneheads, I don't know what their
names were. Been a long time since, ye movie.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
All right, now what are you wearing here?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We got to I have a my weighted vest, which
I'm using as a like an agent vest type. Right, okayes,
and I'm bald, bald cap, I'm agent Sebastian.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I couldn't tell you part you've got other versions of seas.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Now mention which version of sea bass are you? I'm
the one right across it.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
As you can see, we're wearing the exact same colored
shirt and everything, the present day, present days, present day,
present day. And then dumbass Tyler, which version of sea
bass you?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
So?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Morgan calls it bulking sea bass?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I call it fat sea bass.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So the one that is.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Also currently president, getting it all su whatever you say,
fatty Wow, we got I didn't know V had the
cap on tip? Was this the version of sea bass?
Speaker 6 (02:01):
When guys in the street called me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, I'm a black bess.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, look it's black bass. Here he's wearing a leisure
were he's ready for the gym.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah yeah yeah. Rules.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Now, Greg, which one do you think is the most accurate?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I mean they all look pretty accurate. Probably he has
a pop tart, tart and coke to prove it. Oh damn,
what you know? I eat pop tarts at the studio
all the time that I noticed, No, I did notice
that you're reading a pop tart. The other day we
were crossing paths of the room. I was leaving the office.
You were walking into the office.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
One time. I just noticed it the other day. It's
just a more current reference. But anyway, up swing and missus.
I thought it was a curious choice after you got
non stop cakes. Yeah, he's gonna chase the cake with
a pop tart.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Sounds good.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Maybe that's how you end up being like, uh, you know,
dumb ass sea bass. This this right here leads to
Cooke swart piece at one in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Oh yeah, it's a scare tactic.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Sea bass and future.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know, what are you wearing?
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Gina?
Speaker 7 (03:14):
Oh I'm so comfortable today. I pulled out the oogie
Boogie Onesie costume from what is it?
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Night before Christmas?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (03:22):
Yeah, it's so cute and looks so comfortable. I just
wanted an excuse to wear, you know, a free onesie.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
At what point are you going to stop going around
dressed up in costume for trigger treating stuff? Because you
get suckered.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Into this whenever the kid says, you know, in charge,
because it's how many more years could this possibly happen?
You know, if he likes it, we'll create a little
magic for him.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
This is not hard to do.
Speaker 6 (03:45):
I have a feeling this is a she's leading that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You guys have met me right.
Speaker 7 (03:51):
Obviously Sea Bass hasn't, but that is not I would
love nothing more than to just to wear human clothing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I don't know about that because I think you leave
the door wide open to this exactly.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
Okay, well, you're you're wrong.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Never I've never done it because the door is shut closed.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's no.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
You do other things for your kids that I would
never do. And he's if he wants me to wear
Oogie Boogie for another year, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You can't let these kids think that they're in charge.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
Man twist, she's twisting her arm or he's twisting her
arm right for whimsy?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, I'm saying like, you can't let these kids
think that they're in control. You do it, you lose,
you lose control.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
Trust me, he does not think he's in control.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
What age do you kids stop caring about truck or trees?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Thirteen, Well, depends when my son got into doing the
whole decorating the yard thing. He was more interested in
handing out the candy and watching people react to the
stuff that he's set up. So for him, But like
my daughter, she's going out with her friends. It's later
for girls. Yeah, so's she's going out with her friends.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
She's thirteen, right, yeah, all right, So you what you're saying,
Guna is you're clinging to these last few years.
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Yeah, I'm clinging exactly, and clinging godhood.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You give your steps on good memories.
Speaker 8 (05:02):
I know.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
I know SeaBASS is fourteen thousand kids he doesn't take
care of, but I got one, and I want to
make sure he's taken care of. Look, if that's what
he wants to do, I can wear a pajama costume.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
If you're If you're into it, that's that's great. It's
just like that to me, like I see a newborn,
I go. My wife and I both would get like
that full body shiver, Like can you imagine going back
to that? I never had that seeing you up and
then thinking like, oh my god, she's doing this because
the kid decided that this is what we're gonna and
then we're going to walk around the neighborhood in a costume.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
He asked us, you know, can we do this this year?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:32):
But I think what I think is gonna happen is
this year he's going to see the other kids and
the other kids parents not dressed up and he's gonna
be like, whoa back off too, and that's and he'll,
you know, he'll figure that out.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And he'll start going with his friends, which would be great, yeah.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
And lovefully, but this is our first trick or treating
a new neighborhood, and we're all gonna go it's gonna
be fine.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Well nice, nice work on the costumes.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Oh you never got an answer to which one's your favorite?
Speaker 6 (05:59):
Sea bass is and big the Texas pointing this out,
big fail on none of them doing any kind of
cyber truck thing related to their costumes. I think the
only problem is between the four of them they can't
afford one.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Oh yeah, because buy a car for a costume, by
a car, you would wear one it Come on, Jesus, no.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
I think this is more accurate.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
But you don't deserve that much thought put into a mask.
We got the ball caps and that was the main.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
That that four people according to costume is not a
lot of that's that is some, But she's saying that
would have been extra.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Yeah, there is a line.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I thought you'd be honored that we chose you could
have been anyone.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Well, you guys just did such a poor job. It's
the problem.
Speaker 7 (06:34):
I think that means you won this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Not like appease your ego in some weird way.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Well, to see the problem is they're not doing it properly.
They're trying to undercut me.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
No it, they're trying.
Speaker 10 (06:43):
To undergoing I consistently set the standard of excellence on everything.
I supported a colleague's growth by sharing feedback and mentoring
them informally contributing to our value of continuous learning and development.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
You are a hero fability and time for today's dumb
ass contests. It's a Friday tradition. Today's dumb ass contest
is the du IQ eight seven seven forty four. What
is the phone number? And before we get this contestant
on the line, Sea Bass explaining the way the game
(07:17):
that works.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Everybody, please, I find somebody very drunk and ask them
just the most easy questions you could ever imagine. So
that's not the game. The game isn't what's the answer
to the question. The game is the drunk person so drunk? Yeah,
But they will know the answer to these otherwise very
easy questions. And he can guess whether they know two
times out of three.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
You win, and that you will be Ben. Hey, good morning, Ben. Hey, yeah,
all right, so Ben, you're gonna be the contestant for
this week's d u I Q. Now, before we get
to the questions, account Ben, we're gonna get to know
this person and see just how drunk or with that
they are, not with that they are before we make
you try to guess. And who is this person?
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Cl perfect for spooky season?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's Damiens.
Speaker 6 (08:00):
Yeah, and Damien is so uh well, we're gonna find
out just how wasted Damien is. And I promised listen,
just listen to him. I promise this is not a
homeless person.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Damien.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
What do you have to drink this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
No? To all the questions, I.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like more beer than vodka.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
How many beers would you say you had this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Three weird?
Speaker 8 (08:19):
I don't believe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
You, no, because I'm more vodka. Oh that makes yeah,
well I even more vodka than beer. And and I
wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
I'll wait, good, what are you gonna wake up tomorrow?
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
We'll go home?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Did you here to sleep on the street side or no? I?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh no, one time I set on street and at home,
so I know how.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Holy well, go home.
Speaker 6 (08:59):
I don't know what the age is where you like
it becomes like oh funny, like oh like that stupid
kid to like, oh that's sad.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
How old was heard? That's true? Got to stop me
when that happened. Questions on you? Yeah, okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Do you want you question number one?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
What is his name? Character?
Speaker 6 (09:27):
I'll take you know what, I'll take an after name
if you got that.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Oh that's right? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Uh no to Damien? Sure again on all of them?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Dare you? I'll say no to Menace and.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
A couple of years since we had a Batman movie.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, I'll say in triple no, I'm going to.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Say yes to Menace and no to Sammy and Damien.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Okay, and you're saying yes to Menace. I'm kind of
leaning that directions, but I think I'm gonna do quadruple no.
The fourth no is my.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So oh you don't know the answer here?
Speaker 6 (10:02):
Really, that's not surprising for great.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
And I know the actor as well.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Really yeah, wow, yeah, I agree, this is an easy one. Yes,
Menace and Sammy. Do you think that Damien is going
to get it?
Speaker 5 (10:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Ben?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
What do you think do you think that Damien gets
this one?
Speaker 5 (10:17):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Or no? No way, no way? He knows Alfred? All right?
Oh there you go? Question number one?
Speaker 8 (10:24):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What were you gonna say?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Menace? I was gonna put Alfred? But I was not
one hundred percent in that an Sammy, Can I change
my answer?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
No?
Speaker 8 (10:34):
I said, Jeeves.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
G because we need something. You ask Jeeves? Now, does
anybody can you name the actor?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A name? I can't even think of one actor that
Michael Kaine, Michael Michael.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Remember he was in Jewels when Jaws was like in
the Mohamaemember, like the mommy shark was mad that the
other one was killed, and so it was like chasing
the sailboat down.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Remember that one.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Shark actually growled dirty?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Is it dirty? Rotten? Scoundrels?
Speaker 8 (11:02):
Scoundrels.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Steve Martin never even seen Jaws all the way through
the original.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Really, I would have also accepted Alan Napier from the
TV series.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay, all right, well, Ben said that Damien would not
get it. Let's see if he's right. Question number one,
d u I Q.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Wait? The last one he was, what do you think
it is? Yeah, yeah, I came dor.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Well, Ben, you're on the board.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You got one, and Ben, don't shout out with the answer.
Don't give us the answers because we're seeing it these guys.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's a question number two.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Do u i Q?
Speaker 8 (11:46):
If a woman gets an i U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 5 (11:50):
All right?
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Bonus points for what does it stand for?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (11:55):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No for Damien. I was gonna say yes for Samy,
but then I remember we like just dumped around a
couple of you know, these women's health questions.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I bet she knows this.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I'll say yes, Menace, yes, now do can either one
of them?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Tell us what it stands for?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And double no.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I'm going to say no to Damien obviously, right, yes
to Sammy and no to what it stands for. And
I'm saying yes to Menace no for what it's doing.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
All right.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Yeah, I'm also saying yes to Samy and Menace, no
to Damien.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Ben, what do you think yes or no for Damien?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
For Damien?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I question number two, d U i Q.
Speaker 8 (12:45):
If the woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Sammy pregnancy, menace pregnancy?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
What does it stand for?
Speaker 10 (12:56):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
Alright, sammy inserted uterus devices.
Speaker 6 (13:07):
She's circling around the answer.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, what about mine?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yeah, you're farther away.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
What did you say again?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Was injectable ultimate deterrent?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Interplanetary uranus device?
Speaker 7 (13:21):
I'm sure Gina will tell you inter your inter uterine device?
Intra uterine device?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Probably Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I was very thought it was inner uterine device like
in her uterine.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
That's not device.
Speaker 8 (13:35):
Nobody knows what question number two do U I Q?
If a woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Vagina? No? Vagina? I never had vagina?
Speaker 8 (13:51):
You never had vagina?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
No, never just became a confession vagina. Maybe you can
give him some, buddy, Yeah, here's a little vagina for you.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Well then, well, he doesn't even want to hang out
afterwards a cuddle. He just wants to go home. It's
probably for the best.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I think he died without ever having for china. There's
no way that night.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Alright.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Well, hey Ben, congratulations, you are a winner on a
very very stressful round here on the d U y T.
All right, man, hey, enjoy your weekend. Thank you for listening.
Hang on one second, we'll get all your information.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, there's there's Ben. Everybody you talk about Question
number three, which Ben didn't Ebel play for funds?
Speaker 5 (14:37):
He soon?
Speaker 8 (14:38):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
This might be the easiest one I've ever asked Greg.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
It's right up there. Oh there is the sky?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I mean, even Damien should get this.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Even the dead guy.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I'm still saying.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
I say, no, dog, I never had a foot. Maybe
he is from another country. You don't know that.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
What's the Libya or some other country that uses the
metric system?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
So, noted Damien, and yes to these two.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Everybody uses home what everybody uses the metric system? Liberia,
That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Okay, and Miama, I'm gonna say, I'm going to say
yes to Samy and Menace and not a big big
dog Damien.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
A noted Damien, Yes to both Menace and Sammy medic
and Sammy. Do you think that Damien gets it?
Speaker 7 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, no.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Question number three, d U I Q how.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Many inches are in a foot? It's correct? How many inches?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Are you fie? I continue twelve and make you feel good?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
He could use that for all his vagina that he gets. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
Now, were the people sharing in the background just happened
to be perfect timing?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Were they happy for him?
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Give him a win where you can take it or
you can find it.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Hey, what do you call a big jack lantern? Was
a plumpkin?
Speaker 7 (16:05):
What you weigh a millennial in instagrams?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Didn't a lizard and a girlfriend? Fine? He had a
reptile dysfunctions.
Speaker 11 (16:17):
Show Greg sells how uh so where he lived, there's
like the center Median and the city did such a
subpar job, like cleaning it up.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yes that Greg is tempted to just go clean it himself.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
It's underneath a gigantic pine tree. It's where three streets intersect,
so it's a triangular center island media thing. They just
gotch a bad job. Do I want to do it? Yes?
But I think I might be too embarrassed to like
throw my garbage can in the truck, get my quick day,
go down there and just start. You'd be here and
(16:57):
a rake and cleaning it and everyone. Because I'm just
like Joe Schmoe.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Work or whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
They'll be like, Wow, what a great guy, this guy
really cares about the community.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
I drive by it every single day. I look at it,
and I thought, this is.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Well fail fail on the city's pod.
Speaker 9 (17:11):
I think people don't even understand that job you're saying
right now because such a bad cleaning it up, because
people might think you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Are you just talking about trimming the hedges.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
It's just a pine tree inside this concrete center median
and it was about let's say, six inches deep in
pine needles. Now it's about one inch deep, like it
couldn't go the extra mile and just clean it all,
and then there's weeds coming through the cracks to get
a little ground clear me.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
No, no, it's not slightly not garbage. It's not actual garbage.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Profeeds and piney.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Pro tip, Greg, if you do want to not be
just Joe Schmoe, you can very easily buy some safety gear.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Safety vest.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I just have like a greenish reflective.
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Vestreg somethtimes you'll never wear that.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You can wear a big floppy hat, you wear a
mask and sunglasses exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Now you have the citizens doing it the way to
go h officials.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
Yeah, great, yeah, thanks, I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I would do that and you have Yeah, I have
done it, right, But that's because I was walking over
that area every day and it was it.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Was not pleasant, right, and this is what I have
to drive by every day and look at it hurts
my eyes.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
So I brought the I brought the leaf blower out
and I that's what I wanted to do, and I
cleared it and it was easy. Anytime, and anytime you
get to use stuff like that, anytime you get to
use like a reciprocating saw whatever.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
It's like my weed whacker, yeah, which you can angle
into like in between cracks. So good.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
All right, Well, time for the official round of this
week's Friday Fail stories.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is
time for your Friday fail story.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Other people thought.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
They have the perfect plan, the plan that can never
go wrong. But then somewhere along the line, I went
for being a great idea, the one big stake in
Mega uber Ultra. Yeah pretty good. Yeah yeah, and that
(20:06):
was nic Yeah. All right, Friday faild stories. First one
here is from Nevada, where the cops. They were called
about a driver who was driving terribly quote unquote, had
driven off the road five separate times. State troopers caught
up with the driver asked them how much they had
to drink, and they responded by saying only two shots.
At the nearby casino, cops had him take a breathalyzer,
(20:27):
Greg where they drunk. You bet, you know it. The
driver arrested and then shouted the troopers saying, you ruined
my life.
Speaker 7 (20:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Turns out the driver, forty four year old woman works
or should I say, used to work, solving criminal justice
issues related to d uys and dui arrest and so
now she is awaiting her own DUI trial at some
point next month, so sailed yeah. Social experiment next one
(20:57):
is about this woman who is at home cleaning her
apartment where she came face to face with a cockroach.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
So she committed suicide.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Like Greg, she freaked out, yep, she went to the kitchen,
she grabbed some spray. Blame her and the lighter use
that combo as a homemade blow torch as we all
have at one point, k I have. She let that
sucker up and up in flames. It went along with
the apartment before she knew what the fire had spread.
(21:28):
It was out of control. When it was all said
and done, the apartment was toast. It was a loss.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, but I mean if it has roaches, who.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
And one of the neighbors is dead because they fell
out of the window while they were trying to escape
the flames.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Sailed. Yeah, I mean, just be slippy mcflipperson.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I guess I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, don't be slips and mc slippers.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
You took the words out of my mouth.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
This is from Maine with this guy. He was driving
and he noticed something fly off of his car, and
that's when I remember, like, oh my god, I left
something on the roof.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
What was on the roof?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
You ask no big his child seven thousand dollars in cash.
So the money landed in the middle of the road
and the guy he's pulling a U turn at this
point to go back and pick it up. Well halfway
through the turn, he noticed that another car had already
slowed down, and by the time he drove up to
the money, another guy was scooping it up and he
(22:32):
grabbed most of it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He took off. The whole thing.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Caught on dash can the cops. They're trying their best
to find the guy who scooped up the cash, but
so far no luck.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
In the window sailed that.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
The most money I ever held in my hand was
three thousand dollars because I sold a car. I think
I held it in the car on my way to
the back. I think I even left my hand.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You're afraid some money I'm holding three thousand dollars, Oh
my god. And when you go to the bank too.
There were those stories for a while that people were
like watching people leave the bank and following them home.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know, well.
Speaker 7 (23:10):
Greg's waving it around like a golden ticket.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, look what I got. This next one is from Florida.
This guy he went to a gas station, he robbed
the place. He took off with seven thousand dollars worth
of scratcher tickets.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh all right, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
He was long gone by the time the cops got there.
But then two hours later he was back, this time
no mask. Notice, guys, he was there just to redeem
some winning scratchers. You go, and he was in the
store for about ten minutes. Couldn't get the tickets to work,
you know. On ACNA, they were reported stolen, so he
got in the car. He drove to another gas station
(23:43):
and there he robbed that place for one hundred and
twenty bucks. The cops they finally caught up to him,
he was arrested and he is now in fail jail.
Sales best and brightest dumbass, and then I hear I'll
give you one of my favorite fail stories of the week.
This is about these two teenagers who came up with
a way to make some quick cash. They were pretty
good with computers, so they hacked into the database of
(24:07):
a chain of preschools and proceeded to steal the data
and pictures of thousands of students, and then from there
they posted the pictures on the dark web. They called
the preschool they demanded over eight hundred thousand dollars in
Bitcoin to take them down. The preschool's like, yeah, right,
(24:28):
not having it. They didn't care. We don't cave. So
the two idiots they started calling all of the parents
of the kids whose pictures they posted and were encouraging them,
pushing them to pressure the school into paying the eight
hundred thousand dollars. Well, the parents didn't care either. That
didn't That didn't work long story longer. The cops tracked
(24:49):
them down and they were taking the fail jail sale.
They realized that they weren't getting anywhere, and then they
went to go like try to apologize and say like, oh,
well we were just blah blah blahlah bla and yeah,
frank In.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
This is where you use the excuse of social experiment.
It was just an experiment.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was just to point out the security flaws in
their system, to show how easy it was for them.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Embarrassed you failed.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
You should be thanking us, right, I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
This is a weird way to say thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, you're having us arrested.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah, eight seven seven forty four Woodie Friday check ins.
Send those on the text over to two two nine
eight seven.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The Woody Show. We'll be right back.
Okay, okay, okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I know what that is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Yeah, this is the Woodie Show, and you have another
new hour, lockloaded, ready to go. Now, I'm looking around, where's.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Uh, where's Morgan Morgan? Where's Morgan Morgan?
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Tyler?
Speaker 4 (00:21):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:22):
Menjie, come on, come on in, come on? All right,
here's here's Morgan.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Nice, all right, best on?
Speaker 3 (00:30):
Yeah, all right, Morgan, all right, there's a there's Morgan.
Here comes Tyler and Menji.
Speaker 5 (00:37):
Walking here extra slow.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Yeah, they're not the quickest people. Menji is mad slow.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I've never seen anyone you're mad slow fire.
Speaker 6 (00:48):
I don't want to spoil a surprise, but is this
nineteen seventy six? All over our gangs? I'm seeing the Coneheads?
Speaker 3 (00:54):
Uh huh, I've seen Magon.
Speaker 7 (00:56):
You.
Speaker 3 (00:56):
I recognize who we are.
Speaker 6 (00:57):
Like I said, the Coneheads, I don't know what their
names were. Been a long time since, ye movie.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
All right, now what are you wearing here?
Speaker 4 (01:03):
We got to I have a my weighted vest, which
I'm using as a like an agent vest type. Right, okayes,
and I'm bald, bald cap, I'm agent Sebastian.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
You know what.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
I couldn't tell you part you've got other versions of seas.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Now mention which version of sea bass are you? I'm
the one right across it.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
As you can see, we're wearing the exact same colored
shirt and everything, the present day, present days, present day,
present day. And then dumbass Tyler, which version of sea
bass you?
Speaker 4 (01:41):
So?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Morgan calls it bulking sea bass?
Speaker 5 (01:43):
I call it fat sea bass.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
So the one that is.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
Also currently president, getting it all su whatever you say,
fatty Wow, we got I didn't know V had the
cap on tip? Was this the version of sea bass?
Speaker 6 (02:01):
When guys in the street called me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yeah, I'm a black bess.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
Yeah, look it's black bass. Here he's wearing a leisure
were he's ready for the gym.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Yeah yeah yeah. Rules.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Now, Greg, which one do you think is the most accurate?
Speaker 5 (02:21):
I mean they all look pretty accurate. Probably he has
a pop tart, tart and coke to prove it. Oh damn,
what you know? I eat pop tarts at the studio
all the time that I noticed, No, I did notice
that you're reading a pop tart. The other day we
were crossing paths of the room. I was leaving the office.
You were walking into the office.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
One time. I just noticed it the other day. It's
just a more current reference. But anyway, up swing and missus.
I thought it was a curious choice after you got
non stop cakes. Yeah, he's gonna chase the cake with
a pop tart.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Sounds good.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Maybe that's how you end up being like, uh, you know,
dumb ass sea bass. This this right here leads to
Cooke swart piece at one in the morning.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Oh yeah, it's a scare tactic.
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Sea bass and future.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And you know, what are you wearing?
Speaker 5 (03:13):
Gina?
Speaker 7 (03:14):
Oh I'm so comfortable today. I pulled out the oogie
Boogie Onesie costume from what is it?
Speaker 6 (03:20):
Night before Christmas?
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (03:22):
Yeah, it's so cute and looks so comfortable. I just
wanted an excuse to wear, you know, a free onesie.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
At what point are you going to stop going around
dressed up in costume for trigger treating stuff? Because you
get suckered.
Speaker 7 (03:34):
Into this whenever the kid says, you know, in charge,
because it's how many more years could this possibly happen?
You know, if he likes it, we'll create a little
magic for him.
Speaker 1 (03:44):
This is not hard to do.
Speaker 6 (03:45):
I have a feeling this is a she's leading that.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
You guys have met me right.
Speaker 7 (03:51):
Obviously Sea Bass hasn't, but that is not I would
love nothing more than to just to wear human clothing.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I don't know about that because I think you leave
the door wide open to this exactly.
Speaker 7 (04:01):
Okay, well, you're you're wrong.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Never I've never done it because the door is shut closed.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
It's no.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
You do other things for your kids that I would
never do. And he's if he wants me to wear
Oogie Boogie for another year, that's fine.
Speaker 3 (04:14):
You can't let these kids think that they're in charge.
Speaker 6 (04:16):
Man twist, she's twisting her arm or he's twisting her
arm right for whimsy?
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Okay, yeah, I'm saying like, you can't let these kids
think that they're in control. You do it, you lose,
you lose control.
Speaker 7 (04:28):
Trust me, he does not think he's in control.
Speaker 5 (04:30):
What age do you kids stop caring about truck or trees?
Speaker 7 (04:32):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Thirteen, Well, depends when my son got into doing the
whole decorating the yard thing. He was more interested in
handing out the candy and watching people react to the
stuff that he's set up. So for him, But like
my daughter, she's going out with her friends. It's later
for girls. Yeah, so's she's going out with her friends.
Speaker 5 (04:51):
She's thirteen, right, yeah, all right, So you what you're saying,
Guna is you're clinging to these last few years.
Speaker 7 (04:57):
Yeah, I'm clinging exactly, and clinging godhood.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
You give your steps on good memories.
Speaker 8 (05:02):
I know.
Speaker 7 (05:03):
I know SeaBASS is fourteen thousand kids he doesn't take
care of, but I got one, and I want to
make sure he's taken care of. Look, if that's what
he wants to do, I can wear a pajama costume.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
If you're If you're into it, that's that's great. It's
just like that to me, like I see a newborn,
I go. My wife and I both would get like
that full body shiver, Like can you imagine going back
to that? I never had that seeing you up and
then thinking like, oh my god, she's doing this because
the kid decided that this is what we're gonna and
then we're going to walk around the neighborhood in a costume.
Speaker 7 (05:29):
He asked us, you know, can we do this this year?
Speaker 1 (05:31):
All right?
Speaker 7 (05:32):
But I think what I think is gonna happen is
this year he's going to see the other kids and
the other kids parents not dressed up and he's gonna
be like, whoa back off too, and that's and he'll,
you know, he'll figure that out.
Speaker 3 (05:44):
And he'll start going with his friends, which would be great, yeah.
Speaker 7 (05:46):
And lovefully, but this is our first trick or treating
a new neighborhood, and we're all gonna go it's gonna
be fine.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Yeah, yeah, all right.
Speaker 3 (05:53):
Well nice, nice work on the costumes.
Speaker 9 (05:55):
Oh you never got an answer to which one's your favorite?
Speaker 6 (05:59):
Sea bass is and big the Texas pointing this out,
big fail on none of them doing any kind of
cyber truck thing related to their costumes. I think the
only problem is between the four of them they can't
afford one.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
Oh yeah, because buy a car for a costume, by
a car, you would wear one it Come on, Jesus, no.
Speaker 7 (06:17):
I think this is more accurate.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
But you don't deserve that much thought put into a mask.
We got the ball caps and that was the main.
Speaker 6 (06:21):
That that four people according to costume is not a
lot of that's that is some, But she's saying that
would have been extra.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Yeah, there is a line.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
I thought you'd be honored that we chose you could
have been anyone.
Speaker 6 (06:31):
Well, you guys just did such a poor job. It's
the problem.
Speaker 7 (06:34):
I think that means you won this.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
Not like appease your ego in some weird way.
Speaker 6 (06:38):
Well, to see the problem is they're not doing it properly.
They're trying to undercut me.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
No it, they're trying.
Speaker 10 (06:43):
To undergoing I consistently set the standard of excellence on everything.
I supported a colleague's growth by sharing feedback and mentoring
them informally contributing to our value of continuous learning and development.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
You are a hero fability and time for today's dumb
ass contests. It's a Friday tradition. Today's dumb ass contest
is the du IQ eight seven seven forty four. What
is the phone number? And before we get this contestant
on the line, Sea Bass explaining the way the game
(07:17):
that works.
Speaker 6 (07:18):
Everybody, please, I find somebody very drunk and ask them
just the most easy questions you could ever imagine. So
that's not the game. The game isn't what's the answer
to the question. The game is the drunk person so drunk? Yeah,
But they will know the answer to these otherwise very
easy questions. And he can guess whether they know two
times out of three.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
You win, and that you will be Ben. Hey, good morning, Ben. Hey, yeah,
all right, so Ben, you're gonna be the contestant for
this week's d u I Q. Now, before we get
to the questions, account Ben, we're gonna get to know
this person and see just how drunk or with that
they are, not with that they are before we make
you try to guess. And who is this person?
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Cl perfect for spooky season?
Speaker 1 (07:56):
It's Damiens.
Speaker 6 (08:00):
Yeah, and Damien is so uh well, we're gonna find
out just how wasted Damien is. And I promised listen,
just listen to him. I promise this is not a
homeless person.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Damien.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
What do you have to drink this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Huh?
Speaker 1 (08:12):
No? To all the questions, I.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Like more beer than vodka.
Speaker 8 (08:16):
How many beers would you say you had this evening?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Three weird?
Speaker 8 (08:19):
I don't believe.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
You, no, because I'm more vodka. Oh that makes yeah,
well I even more vodka than beer. And and I
wake up tomorrow.
Speaker 8 (08:31):
I'll wait, good, what are you gonna wake up tomorrow?
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2 (08:36):
We'll go home?
Speaker 8 (08:37):
Did you here to sleep on the street side or no? I?
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Oh no, one time I set on street and at home,
so I know how.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Holy well, go home.
Speaker 6 (08:59):
I don't know what the age is where you like
it becomes like oh funny, like oh like that stupid
kid to like, oh that's sad.
Speaker 5 (09:07):
How old was heard? That's true? Got to stop me
when that happened. Questions on you? Yeah, okay, here we go.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Do you want you question number one?
Speaker 8 (09:21):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
What is his name? Character?
Speaker 6 (09:27):
I'll take you know what, I'll take an after name
if you got that.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Oh that's right? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:31):
Uh no to Damien? Sure again on all of them?
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Dare you? I'll say no to Menace and.
Speaker 6 (09:41):
A couple of years since we had a Batman movie.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Yeah, I'll say in triple no, I'm going to.
Speaker 7 (09:48):
Say yes to Menace and no to Sammy and Damien.
Speaker 5 (09:52):
Okay, and you're saying yes to Menace. I'm kind of
leaning that directions, but I think I'm gonna do quadruple no.
The fourth no is my.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
So oh you don't know the answer here?
Speaker 6 (10:02):
Really, that's not surprising for great.
Speaker 5 (10:04):
And I know the actor as well.
Speaker 3 (10:06):
Really yeah, wow, yeah, I agree, this is an easy one. Yes,
Menace and Sammy. Do you think that Damien is going
to get it?
Speaker 5 (10:14):
All right?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Ben?
Speaker 3 (10:15):
What do you think do you think that Damien gets
this one?
Speaker 5 (10:17):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Or no? No way, no way? He knows Alfred? All right?
Oh there you go? Question number one?
Speaker 8 (10:24):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 3 (10:25):
What were you gonna say?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Menace? I was gonna put Alfred? But I was not
one hundred percent in that an Sammy, Can I change
my answer?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
No?
Speaker 8 (10:34):
I said, Jeeves.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
G because we need something. You ask Jeeves? Now, does
anybody can you name the actor?
Speaker 1 (10:42):
A name? I can't even think of one actor that
Michael Kaine, Michael Michael.
Speaker 3 (10:47):
Remember he was in Jewels when Jaws was like in
the Mohamaemember, like the mommy shark was mad that the
other one was killed, and so it was like chasing
the sailboat down.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Remember that one.
Speaker 5 (10:58):
Shark actually growled dirty?
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Is it dirty? Rotten? Scoundrels?
Speaker 8 (11:02):
Scoundrels.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Steve Martin never even seen Jaws all the way through
the original.
Speaker 6 (11:08):
Really, I would have also accepted Alan Napier from the
TV series.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Okay, all right, well, Ben said that Damien would not
get it. Let's see if he's right. Question number one,
d u I Q.
Speaker 8 (11:19):
Who is Batman's butler?
Speaker 2 (11:21):
Wait? The last one he was, what do you think
it is? Yeah, yeah, I came dor.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Well, Ben, you're on the board.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
You got one, and Ben, don't shout out with the answer.
Don't give us the answers because we're seeing it these guys.
Speaker 3 (11:44):
That's a question number two.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Do u i Q?
Speaker 8 (11:46):
If a woman gets an i U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 5 (11:50):
All right?
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Bonus points for what does it stand for?
Speaker 1 (11:54):
Okay?
Speaker 11 (11:55):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (11:55):
No for Damien. I was gonna say yes for Samy,
but then I remember we like just dumped around a
couple of you know, these women's health questions.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
I bet she knows this.
Speaker 3 (12:09):
I'll say yes, Menace, yes, now do can either one
of them?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Do?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Tell us what it stands for?
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And double no.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
I'm going to say no to Damien obviously, right, yes
to Sammy and no to what it stands for. And
I'm saying yes to Menace no for what it's doing.
Speaker 2 (12:29):
All right.
Speaker 7 (12:30):
Yeah, I'm also saying yes to Samy and Menace, no
to Damien.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Ben, what do you think yes or no for Damien?
Speaker 5 (12:42):
For Damien?
Speaker 3 (12:43):
I question number two, d U i Q.
Speaker 8 (12:45):
If the woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
Sammy pregnancy, menace pregnancy?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
What does it stand for?
Speaker 10 (12:56):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (12:56):
Injectable ultimate deterrent.
Speaker 7 (13:01):
Alright, sammy inserted uterus devices.
Speaker 6 (13:07):
She's circling around the answer.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
Yeah, what about mine?
Speaker 3 (13:11):
Yeah, you're farther away.
Speaker 5 (13:14):
What did you say again?
Speaker 1 (13:15):
Was injectable ultimate deterrent?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Interplanetary uranus device?
Speaker 7 (13:21):
I'm sure Gina will tell you inter your inter uterine device?
Intra uterine device?
Speaker 8 (13:28):
Probably Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I was very thought it was inner uterine device like
in her uterine.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
That's not device.
Speaker 8 (13:35):
Nobody knows what question number two do U I Q?
If a woman gets an I U D, what is
she trying to prevent?
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Vagina? No? Vagina? I never had vagina?
Speaker 8 (13:51):
You never had vagina?
Speaker 7 (13:52):
No, never just became a confession vagina. Maybe you can
give him some, buddy, Yeah, here's a little vagina for you.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
Well then, well, he doesn't even want to hang out
afterwards a cuddle. He just wants to go home. It's
probably for the best.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
I think he died without ever having for china. There's
no way that night.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Alright.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
Well, hey Ben, congratulations, you are a winner on a
very very stressful round here on the d U y T.
All right, man, hey, enjoy your weekend. Thank you for listening.
Hang on one second, we'll get all your information.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Okay, thank you.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
All right, there's there's Ben. Everybody you talk about Question
number three, which Ben didn't Ebel play for funds?
Speaker 5 (14:37):
He soon?
Speaker 8 (14:38):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 6 (14:41):
This might be the easiest one I've ever asked Greg.
Speaker 5 (14:44):
It's right up there. Oh there is the sky?
Speaker 3 (14:48):
How many inches are in a foot?
Speaker 5 (14:50):
I mean, even Damien should get this.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Even the dead guy.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
I'm still saying.
Speaker 9 (14:56):
I say, no, dog, I never had a foot. Maybe
he is from another country. You don't know that.
Speaker 6 (15:03):
What's the Libya or some other country that uses the
metric system?
Speaker 5 (15:08):
So, noted Damien, and yes to these two.
Speaker 1 (15:10):
Everybody uses home what everybody uses the metric system? Liberia,
That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 7 (15:17):
Okay, and Miama, I'm gonna say, I'm going to say
yes to Samy and Menace and not a big big
dog Damien.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
A noted Damien, Yes to both Menace and Sammy medic
and Sammy. Do you think that Damien gets it?
Speaker 7 (15:29):
No?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
No, no.
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Question number three, d U I Q how.
Speaker 8 (15:33):
Many inches are in a foot? It's correct? How many inches?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Are you fie? I continue twelve and make you feel good?
Speaker 5 (15:46):
There we go.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
He could use that for all his vagina that he gets. Yeah.
Speaker 9 (15:50):
Now, were the people sharing in the background just happened
to be perfect timing?
Speaker 1 (15:55):
Were they happy for him?
Speaker 5 (15:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:56):
Give him a win where you can take it or
you can find it.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
Hey, what do you call a big jack lantern? Was
a plumpkin?
Speaker 7 (16:05):
What you weigh a millennial in instagrams?
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Didn't a lizard and a girlfriend? Fine? He had a
reptile dysfunctions.
Speaker 11 (16:17):
Show Greg sells how uh so where he lived, there's
like the center Median and the city did such a
subpar job, like cleaning it up.
Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yes that Greg is tempted to just go clean it himself.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
It's underneath a gigantic pine tree. It's where three streets intersect,
so it's a triangular center island media thing. They just
gotch a bad job. Do I want to do it? Yes?
But I think I might be too embarrassed to like
throw my garbage can in the truck, get my quick day,
go down there and just start. You'd be here and
(16:57):
a rake and cleaning it and everyone. Because I'm just
like Joe Schmoe.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Work or whatever.
Speaker 3 (17:04):
They'll be like, Wow, what a great guy, this guy
really cares about the community.
Speaker 5 (17:06):
I drive by it every single day. I look at it,
and I thought, this is.
Speaker 3 (17:09):
Well fail fail on the city's pod.
Speaker 9 (17:11):
I think people don't even understand that job you're saying
right now because such a bad cleaning it up, because
people might think you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 1 (17:18):
Are you just talking about trimming the hedges.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
It's just a pine tree inside this concrete center median
and it was about let's say, six inches deep in
pine needles. Now it's about one inch deep, like it
couldn't go the extra mile and just clean it all,
and then there's weeds coming through the cracks to get
a little ground clear me.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
So you're talking about garbage.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
No, no, it's not slightly not garbage. It's not actual garbage.
Speaker 3 (17:45):
Profeeds and piney.
Speaker 6 (17:47):
Pro tip, Greg, if you do want to not be
just Joe Schmoe, you can very easily buy some safety gear.
Speaker 1 (17:53):
Safety vest.
Speaker 5 (17:54):
I just have like a greenish reflective.
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Vestreg somethtimes you'll never wear that.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
You can wear a big floppy hat, you wear a
mask and sunglasses exactly.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Now you have the citizens doing it the way to
go h officials.
Speaker 7 (18:08):
Yeah, great, yeah, thanks, I get it.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
I would do that and you have Yeah, I have
done it, right, But that's because I was walking over
that area every day and it was it.
Speaker 5 (18:17):
Was not pleasant, right, and this is what I have
to drive by every day and look at it hurts
my eyes.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
So I brought the I brought the leaf blower out
and I that's what I wanted to do, and I
cleared it and it was easy. Anytime, and anytime you
get to use stuff like that, anytime you get to
use like a reciprocating saw whatever.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
It's like my weed whacker, yeah, which you can angle
into like in between cracks. So good.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
All right, Well, time for the official round of this
week's Friday Fail stories.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Here we go.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
All right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it is
time for your Friday fail story.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Other people thought.
Speaker 3 (19:36):
They have the perfect plan, the plan that can never
go wrong. But then somewhere along the line, I went
for being a great idea, the one big stake in
Mega uber Ultra. Yeah pretty good. Yeah yeah, and that
(20:06):
was nic Yeah. All right, Friday faild stories. First one
here is from Nevada, where the cops. They were called
about a driver who was driving terribly quote unquote, had
driven off the road five separate times. State troopers caught
up with the driver asked them how much they had
to drink, and they responded by saying only two shots.
At the nearby casino, cops had him take a breathalyzer,
(20:27):
Greg where they drunk. You bet, you know it. The
driver arrested and then shouted the troopers saying, you ruined
my life.
Speaker 7 (20:34):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Turns out the driver, forty four year old woman works
or should I say, used to work, solving criminal justice
issues related to d uys and dui arrest and so
now she is awaiting her own DUI trial at some
point next month, so sailed yeah. Social experiment next one
(20:57):
is about this woman who is at home cleaning her
apartment where she came face to face with a cockroach.
Speaker 5 (21:06):
So she committed suicide.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Like Greg, she freaked out, yep, she went to the kitchen,
she grabbed some spray. Blame her and the lighter use
that combo as a homemade blow torch as we all
have at one point, k I have. She let that
sucker up and up in flames. It went along with
the apartment before she knew what the fire had spread.
(21:28):
It was out of control. When it was all said
and done, the apartment was toast. It was a loss.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, but I mean if it has roaches, who.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
And one of the neighbors is dead because they fell
out of the window while they were trying to escape
the flames.
Speaker 1 (21:44):
Sailed. Yeah, I mean, just be slippy mcflipperson.
Speaker 5 (21:49):
I guess I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Yeah, don't be slips and mc slippers.
Speaker 5 (21:56):
You took the words out of my mouth.
Speaker 3 (22:00):
This is from Maine with this guy. He was driving
and he noticed something fly off of his car, and
that's when I remember, like, oh my god, I left
something on the roof.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
What was on the roof?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
You ask no big his child seven thousand dollars in cash.
So the money landed in the middle of the road
and the guy he's pulling a U turn at this
point to go back and pick it up. Well halfway
through the turn, he noticed that another car had already
slowed down, and by the time he drove up to
the money, another guy was scooping it up and he
(22:32):
grabbed most of it.
Speaker 1 (22:32):
He took off. The whole thing.
Speaker 3 (22:36):
Caught on dash can the cops. They're trying their best
to find the guy who scooped up the cash, but
so far no luck.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
In the window sailed that.
Speaker 5 (22:45):
The most money I ever held in my hand was
three thousand dollars because I sold a car. I think
I held it in the car on my way to
the back. I think I even left my hand.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
You're afraid some money I'm holding three thousand dollars, Oh
my god. And when you go to the bank too.
There were those stories for a while that people were
like watching people leave the bank and following them home.
Speaker 5 (23:08):
Yeah, yeah, you know, well.
Speaker 7 (23:10):
Greg's waving it around like a golden ticket.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah, look what I got. This next one is from Florida.
This guy he went to a gas station, he robbed
the place. He took off with seven thousand dollars worth
of scratcher tickets.
Speaker 5 (23:21):
Oh all right, hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
He was long gone by the time the cops got there.
But then two hours later he was back, this time
no mask. Notice, guys, he was there just to redeem
some winning scratchers. You go, and he was in the
store for about ten minutes. Couldn't get the tickets to work,
you know. On ACNA, they were reported stolen, so he
got in the car. He drove to another gas station
(23:43):
and there he robbed that place for one hundred and
twenty bucks. The cops they finally caught up to him,
he was arrested and he is now in fail jail.
Sales best and brightest dumbass, and then I hear I'll
give you one of my favorite fail stories of the week.
This is about these two teenagers who came up with
a way to make some quick cash. They were pretty
good with computers, so they hacked into the database of
(24:07):
a chain of preschools and proceeded to steal the data
and pictures of thousands of students, and then from there
they posted the pictures on the dark web. They called
the preschool they demanded over eight hundred thousand dollars in
Bitcoin to take them down. The preschool's like, yeah, right,
(24:28):
not having it. They didn't care. We don't cave. So
the two idiots they started calling all of the parents
of the kids whose pictures they posted and were encouraging them,
pushing them to pressure the school into paying the eight
hundred thousand dollars. Well, the parents didn't care either. That
didn't That didn't work long story longer. The cops tracked
(24:49):
them down and they were taking the fail jail sale.
They realized that they weren't getting anywhere, and then they
went to go like try to apologize and say like, oh,
well we were just blah blah blahlah bla and yeah,
frank In.
Speaker 5 (25:02):
This is where you use the excuse of social experiment.
It was just an experiment.
Speaker 3 (25:06):
It was just to point out the security flaws in
their system, to show how easy it was for them.
Speaker 5 (25:11):
Embarrassed you failed.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
You should be thanking us, right, I don't understand.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
This is a weird way to say thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah, you're having us arrested.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah, eight seven seven forty four Woodie Friday check ins.
Send those on the text over to two two nine
eight seven.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
The Woody Show. We'll be right back.
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