The Otis Advisory

Say hello to Miss Information, she’s freedom’s executioner and bag man to keep a lid on anything you’ve got to say.  This means you, the gas supremacist complaining about what it costs to fill up the hummer.  Hear podcast. Wash hands.

The gag order has been lifted. Thanks to that nice Mr. Musk, now patron saint of self-expression, SPEAK YOUR MIND is back in town and fans of freedom couldn’t be happier. It only took 44 billion dollars to knock the bottom out of this yappy little waste processing system and make it into something worth tweeting in. Hear Podcast. Wash Hands.

Dog’s tail doesn’t lie, and this dog is not happy. Those with a PHD in shovel can get cranky fast at $120 a tankful. Hear Podcast. Wash Hands.  

Blame everything on inflation. But why, it's really just the swelling that comes up later after the damage was done. Hear Podcast - Wash Hands!

You can't negotiate with your own pants, even though the Mouse says you can. This is not what Walt Disney meant by Magic Kingdom! It's another News Cartoon from Think Tank Island. Hear podcast. Wash hands.

It's another News Cartoon from Think Tank Island. Secret Service asking why they have to still watch Hunter. Suggest writing BASURA on his forehead and setting him out by the curb.  This could go either way- Hear podcast. Wash hands.

Here's another News Cartoon from Think Tank Island. The Big TV Smackdown is now part of the Sheitgeist of our time in the New America. Joey should be glad they didn’t have this during the last debate or Kamala would have finished him off in the “A” block. Try it yourself at work, at school or at the store next time somebody says to you, "no worries." Click to take the 90-second vacation from thinking right!

Oh the larceny! Jesse Smallberries out of Chicago hopped a cab to Michelle's house to get the good wrinkle cream since they don't carry it in prison. D'Otis and the salty scholars at the bait camp report in this News Cartoon from Think Tank Island.

Valuable investment from the salty scholars of the Discount Think Tank & Bait Camp. Hear podcast - wash hands.

Have you seen the billboards?  “SLEEP FREE FOR A YEAR!”  Wait, how’s that gonna work? How many Biden Bucks are you gonna need before you go lights out? Hear the new advisory now!

Before you start doubting yourself, here’s somewhere else you might want to look.  Now it’s hard to believe this, but there’s more unwanted advances from BETOFRANCIS – who, this time, wants you to believe he has what it takes to be Governor of Texas. Hear this new advisory!

Kamala breaks down the Ukraine war and global crisis in a special "See Spot Run" explanation that's easy for us to understand. Don't miss this latest Otis Advisory for the back story. Hear podcast. Wash hands. 

What if all the government guys would just clump up together into a ball like wet kitty litter so you could just scoop ‘em up and throw them all out in one load? Hear the latest advisory now!

Oh look, here comes famous Brooklyn explorer and teenage congress lady Sandy O’Communist Cortez de Putanasa, seeking a new trade route to your wallet with her simplified 2-step Tax Form.  Step 1, how much did you make?  Step 2, send it in. Hear the latest advisory now!

So there you are, hanging like a lose tooth and wondering what’s up with all this TV chin boogie about freedom.  Even your little pale face brothers from the north, in Canada, are getting all worked up about having to live in doggy daycare from now on. Hear the latest advisory!

Any pajama boy can tell you, ranch dressing is a threat to our democracy! And why not? It says ranch! And ranch could remind you of Roy Rogers. Hear the latest advisory now!

Double-secret whistleblower Uncle Otis here with an exclusive dramatic reading of young Hunter’s letter to he Daddy just before the story broke about their little oil and gas honey pot in Ukraine. Hear the advisory now!

America’s wrinkly sweetheart and ghost bride of complaining, Joni Mitchell, pulled her music off Spotify in protest over something she’s pretty sure is important. So now, if you want to get really depressed you’ll have to go somewhere else for your Joni Mitchell records. Hear the new Otis Advisory!