Universal Foolishness

Universal Foolishness

HIGH VELOCITY HOOT Universal Foolishness publishes original Think Tank studies as short-form podcasts. Dump you old Think Tank and wade into the guilt-free waters of Galveston’s Bait Camp Think Tank. The salty scholars, led by Senior Fellow Uncle Otis, serve up live bait with a side of answers, to finish off political correctness for a grateful nation. Think of it like an AOL Weekend for the Apple crowd. If you’re going to be looking for a Welcome Kit in the mail after listening, this may not be for you. Thanks for letting us into your home today; that almost never happens. Slower listeners keep right>>>>

Episodes

April 20, 2021 2 min

This hostile takeover is brought to you again by 1935, where so many deposited, but so few returned. It's back to the Master Race Virus ID all over again. From the Uncle Otis Bait Camp here on Think Tank Island, where we're always on hot standby for the next big story. Watch podcast. Wash hands. 

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Everywhere you go is half infested with men. But this won’t be allowed to continue much longer, so if you do know how to change a tire, keep it to yourself. Don't admit to anything. We’ve already lost some of the scariest male heroes - rounded up - like Pepe’, Speedy, Dumbo and even Pan, all too far gone and too intimidating to save. Uncle Otis reports from the Bait Camp Think Tank. Bring your secret decoder ring to get th...

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March 19, 2021 4 min

Everywhere you go is half infested with men.  But this won’t be allowed to continue much longer, so if you do know how to change a tire, keep it to yourself.  Don't admit to anything. We’ve already lost some of the scariest male heroes - rounded up - like Pepe’, Speedy, Dumbo and even Pan, all too far gone and too intimidating to save. Uncle Otis reports from the Bait Camp Think Tank. Bring your secret decoder ring to get the h...

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March 10, 2021 5 min

President tags Texas with "Neanderthal thinking." Texas responds in this editorial from Galveston's only Bait Camp Think Tank, with Sr. Fellow Uncle Otis. 

And remember to get in on the Uncle Otis summer office pool where you guess the month for the upcoming Harris inauguration set for later this year.  

Push button. Watch video. Wash hands.  


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March 3, 2021 4 min

Mr. & Mrs. Potato Head: a kid's toy, targeted for cancellation as gender-neutral movement inches closer to The Singularity: a oneness of thought, mind and body in a colorless, odorless cell mass. It's the New America. Can you dig it? The Otis Bait Camp Think Tank reports in as biology is replaced with political correctness - a cry for help that no one hears! Push button. Watch podcast. Wash hands. 

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February 22, 2021 4 min

It was a Texas Energy Smackdown and Uncle Otis is on BOIL NOTICE! Let's say you were cooking up another batch of hydroxychloroquine when all of a sudden, your lights go out! What now?  Here's a good snoot full from the Bait Camp Think Tank about what to look forward to once GREEN is all you’ve got. Did hell freeze over or what? Push button. Watch podcast. Wash hands.



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February 11, 2021 4 min

Here at the Bait Camp Think Tank, we study things others just can’t explain, like Texas hockey. Well I’m no beauty consultant, but one day, somebody walked into a room somewhere and announced, “I’ve thought of the perfect name for our new lady’s store – we’ll call it The Dress Barn!” How do these things happen? No one knows, but there it is. A corn fed idea like this hangs suspended in midair, while everyone nods and agrees. A...

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January 23, 2021 4 min

The "Shitegeist" of the nation - mood of the times - has somehow changed. What's stuck to your shoe today feels oddly off. You can't put you finger on it, nor would you want to, as revealed in this new editorial by Uncle Otis, Senior Fellow, Bait Camp Think Tank. Push button. Hear podcast. Wash hands.

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January 12, 2021 3 min

Orange Man has left the building and now we're getting the government we deserve! Wade into the guilt-free waters of the Uncle Otis Bait Camp Think Tank and wait for further instructions. Order you Uncle Otis Secret Code Pellet Answer Ring (free with t-shirt purchase) so you can decode the special messages. Luxury podcasts from the Masterpiece Collection from the bothered mind of a widely-ignored Southern intellectual.  


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December 29, 2020 3 min

Welcome to Texas! The new kids from California are starting to arrive, many with shortness of pants and a look of endless guilt and total confusion after seeing their first package of Pink Snowballs from Hostess. Uncle Otis and the Bait Camp Think Camp help out with an orientation program for the most vulnerable. Watch podcast; wash hands.  

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December 18, 2020 3 min

In the New America, either get woke, or get put to sleep! So, dump your old Think Tank and wade into the guilt-free waters of the Bait Camp Think Tank with Sr. Fellow Uncle Otis. Think of it like a vacation from political correctness. Today's Luxury Podcast takes a look at what happened with "Fang Fang, The Spy Who Bungled Me."  Push Button - Hear Podcast - Wash Hands - Buy a T-shirt

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December 14, 2020 5 min

Wade into the guilt-free waters of the Uncle Otis Bait Camp Think Tank while you enjoy this tale of a bunch of snotty, two-faced reindeer, all complaining about a co-worker's "wrong" nose color, held up Christmas deliveries in a protest that went nowhere. All from the bothered mind of a widely ignored Southern intellectual. Merry Christmas!


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December 7, 2020 3 min

Clause overheard offering gifts in exchange for good behavior. But now with E-Warrants, getting a court order to spy on Clause is only $20 on the internet.  

Uncle Otis reports from the Bait Camp & Discount Think Tank. Watch Podcast - Wash Hands!

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November 18, 2020 2 min

New report from Galveston's Discount Think Tank: In the New America we don't drive around in circles anymore, unless it comes with a campaign contribution. So get ready for first running of the ALL ELECTRIC NASCAR. Watts = volts x amps! Get used to it.  

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November 5, 2020 3 min

Inspired by true events, the salty scholars at the Uncle Otis Bait Camp Think Tank help kids see things that aren't there without the need for Benadryl. Public health menace or public service? You be the judge. Hear podcast. Wash hands.

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October 20, 2020 2 min

Our salty scholars have unfigured out the difference between row vs. wade. It’s not that hard. When you’re wanting to school with the wild tuna, some just like to get right in the boat. They’ll row for hours if they have to, but it’s never that far to get there. Other guys just like to wade around in it for hours, sometimes all the way up to their neck. Hell making mud pies is more complicated than this. But remember, you can’t mak...

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September 9, 2020 3 min

In the light from burning tires you'll look your best in Reform School gear from Universal Foolishness. Step aside bed wetters! Dropouts coming through!  

Hear further instructions in a secret coded message inside this podcast. Slower listeners keep right>>> Unmask and win!

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August 26, 2020 3 min

Uncle Otis and the scholars at the Bait Camp Think Tank have an easy way to understand MAIL-IN BALLOTS - just think of them like suppositories. They're not that different. So take the 3-minute podcast vacation and join in the pageantry: Uncleotis.net

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August 18, 2020 4 min

With the threat of "total liberation" headed your way, some are starting now to prepare. Find some dirt; learn to use a shovel. Once everything is free, nothing has value. This new report from the Uncle Otis Bait Camp & Think Tank may smell of fish, but it offers thoughtful guidance for a post-modern world. Or at the very least, some funny BS to make you think again about how bad you really want a revolution at your hou...

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August 11, 2020 4 min

If you don't want to start Renting-Your-Shoes in the New America, then get a whiff of what's in this little bait bucket. It's another luxury podcast from Cultural Observer and widely ignored Southern intellectual Uncle Otis. Push button. Get Otis.

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