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January 27, 2022 38 mins

"I look at them and they're in a different world. I don't know how to describe it other than, 'I don't know what this is, and I don't know what comes next.'" 


Esau McCaulley always knew he wanted to be a father. But he's now working through some unexpected, complicated feelings around being able to give his four children a carefree life. Esau describes how he grew up poor in Alabama and sometimes struggles with relating to his children's comfortable upbringing outside of Chicago. We talk with Esau about this tension: about how to be in your children’s world, when you feel outside of it. 


Esau, a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times, first wrote about this conflict in a recent essay: "I Grew Up Poor: How Am I Supposed To Raise My Middle Class Kids?"

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