236 - Like A Quilt

In this quilt episode, Karen and Georgia cover the Old Exchange and Provost Dungeon, and Stull Cemetery.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hello, and welcome to my favorite murder the podcast, the
true crime comedy podcast starring Georgia hard Start.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Hi and Karen Kilgariff. Hi. How are you welcome? Everyone?
How how are you answer the question? How's your how's
your pandemic going?

Speaker 3 (00:33):
How?

Speaker 1 (00:34):
How is the full global meltdown working out for you?
Did you?

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Did you see? There was a story about how in Wuhan,
a province, China.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
They had a huge like pool party with thousands of
people because they could finally they're finally opened up again. Okay,
and it's okay, I'm it must be. I would hope
that they're making, you know, good decisions. They start, they
started all this quarantining, so I think they're saying we're
finally done with it.

Speaker 3 (00:57):
Look, I'm I'm as bored as everyone else, But I
feel like I wouldn't go to that.

Speaker 1 (01:02):
I would need two solid years of inoculations and some guarantees.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Also, just it's the kind of thing that's such a
good point because when I saw the story, I was like, oh, yeah,
but I was like a pool party never never b
unless it's my own private yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
B like a nighttime.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Pool party, which is like every horrible la party. You've
ever thought it was a good idea, and then when
you showed up you were like, this is a this
is a zombie.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
I wore the wrong thing. No matter what you wore,
it was the wrong fucking thing.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yes, and no, I don't want to where you stand.
You're in a bad spot right.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
And there is no We also don't there's not immunity
to this yet, because just because you had it doesn't
mean you're now immune to it. That's not how diseases work.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
No, unless they're unless it's being kept from us, we
don't know anything about.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
I don't know whatsoever. I feel like a pool party
is a little premature. But I am not a doctor,
nor have I ever pretended to be one.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
Hold on, why do you have that medical advice podcast?
Then it doesn't make sense. Why would you open yourself.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Up amateur medical advice podcast. Put bactine on it, spit.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
On it, and put peats. Put some vactine in your
mouth and spit on it.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
You know what you need to do is suck out
the bacteria and then put in a snake poison. Yes,
spit it in, yes, leech it from everywhere from head
Leito Leach your ship and then here comes the merch
that says, leach your ship on the front of it.
People don't understand what it means. Your mom's upset, your
cousin's asking questions. We're doing it again. We are having

(02:50):
at it as we are to do going for it. No,
we don't know where you are right now while you're
listening to this mental listener. Yeah meant literally, yeah, where
I am personally. It's one hundred and six degrees outside,
which is not common for California.

Speaker 3 (03:09):
Especially Los Angeles. We're having this crazy heat wave. But
none of us are leave in the house anyway, so right,
it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 (03:16):
But hey, if you're okay with it's just like my
there's no air conditioning, ducked into the bathroom. So like
you go into the bathroom and it's like, muggy, it's
like a tropical uh.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Or important place for air conditioning because blow drying your hair,
like the thing of getting out of the shower and
immediately sweating again is my fucking least. Like remember last
week I postponed a meeting we were having because I
was like, I'm sweating out of the shower, so I
can't take this meeting nothing feels worse.

Speaker 2 (03:48):
I don't. I don't remember that being the reason.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Because anytime you're like, hey, do you mind if I
I'm all caps?

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Guessing you so hard?

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Post pounds, like everything anything? Please always yes, Britt, please cancel.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
You love all day? You love?

Speaker 3 (04:03):
Yes, anding my laziness or my whatever it is your
needs you.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
It's you choosing to have needs and just declaring them.
I think it's important. It's hard for us to do sometimes. Yeah,
there's there's times we were just like, you know what,
I can't get on this zoom.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I can't do it.

Speaker 1 (04:20):
No, And I don't have to, even though you know
I'm here by myself, sitting here or staring, I still
don't have to get on that zoom with you.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
That's my right as an American in twenty twenty. Thank you?
What were we talking about?

Speaker 3 (04:31):
Is there a listen? I've been I mean to ask
you this for a while now. Ever since we've been
zooming at home and recording at home. Is there a
framed photo? Because there's like you're sitting in front of
like some nice family frame photos. Is there a two
headed person framed in want to take a photos?

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Let's go over and take a look.

Speaker 3 (04:49):
From where I'm sitting. It's a it's a man's body
with two.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
Heads on it. No, let me go get that and
I'll tell you whether. Okay, Oh my gosh, it does
look like a friend. What is that?

Speaker 3 (05:02):
I've been wondering for months and never asked. I feel
like now's as good a time as any.

Speaker 2 (05:06):
What were you talking?

Speaker 3 (05:07):
I was saying, I've just been watching I've just been
noticing it and never said anything for months, But now
is as good a time as any to ask you.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Yes. So this is a This is a gift that
was given to me at the end of a job
by America's Sweetheart and Banana Boys star Scottie Landish.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
It's a picture of Craig T.

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Nelson from Coach, because that's how we met is he
was a writer and I was the head writer on
a talk show now.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
So he gave me.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
It was assigned photo by Craig T. Nelson of him
as Coach. But you can't see the signature anymore because
it's sat on my desk in my old house and
it got exposed to the sun.

Speaker 3 (05:45):
But you can't see how I would think that that
he's holding a football like up pacing up so it
looks like a two headed person, but it's not.

Speaker 2 (05:54):
It's coach with a.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Coach and his best friend, the football Stephen. Can we
get that up on the Instagram for this episode?

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Please? Thank you, yeah, please, and thank you. All Right,
Well we've solved that mystery.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
Any other questions or concerns about what's in the background
of my zoom shot, just email us at MFM. Uh no,
weeries send it there.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Definitely send it there.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
You know what I was going to say, is is
crazy boiling hot, like unlike any even though it's been
getting hotter lately. Today just went nuts and I'm drinking
a very large cup of hot coffee right now, just
like the Bedouins do out in the desert.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
I'm some black team and water, Oh, a little bit
of whiskey and the sweet because it's what's that drink
called George is having a day?

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Hey, George is having a day. Put it in there.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
It's that feeling of I've been doing some when the
commercial comes on where there's a bunch of people standing
in a bar starting to have a fake funny conversation
and it genuinely makes me.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Want to cry.

Speaker 1 (07:04):
Uh hold on the male ladies here and she's coming
up to the front door.

Speaker 3 (07:08):
Uh oh, tell her, tell her we appreciate her and
thank you for your service, and we support you, and
we've been we've been pushing your merch.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Of mister sisters.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
Zip.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
You can get little outfits for your small dogs and
make it look like you're carrying the mail.

Speaker 2 (07:23):
Or small dogs or large cats. It's pretty much she got. Oh,
she's gonna have to leave it there anyway.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I'm actually getting a thing delivered like at USPS as
we speak. Sure, go, hey, hey you I said you
could stay in here if you didn't bark.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
That was like a stare down and then yeah almost,
Hey god, that's a sharp Oh Stephen, take a photo
of that, Georgy. Is this what you do when I'm
not here? Is this what you do when I'm you
stare out the window?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
Go go get up on that bed, George, thanks for
the warning, No problem. Shit, wait, I just this this
post person. I was singing some of the things I
like to.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Do in my day.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Little little exposure is I'll go ahead and put in
the old airbuds and then just I'm now the lead
singer for the yah yea or whatever right, I think
many let's do, especially if you're by yourself and with
the freedom. I just have to go around make sure
all the windows and doors are closed, because I've definitely
done that where it's full concert and the side windows open,
and I'm like, it's such it's so early in our

(08:43):
relationship for my neighbors to be like, oh no.

Speaker 2 (08:45):
That was never a good time for your neighbors to
hear you singing.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
So the other day and I'm pretty sure it was
wait by the yeah yeah yeah, I map thank you
goods like wait maps by the yeah yeah yeah. It's
really delivering that. And I turned around because like the
dog did something and the male person was just standing

(09:11):
there staring at me through the kitchen window. No, And
it could have been I didn't have my glasses on,
so they could have been doing something yeah, you know,
like on a clipboard and I just didn't see it
or whatever. But to me, it just looked like they're
just standing there staring.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
With their mouth open.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
Like what She's just so disappointed in their in their
lives because of what happened when they caught you. They're like,
where am I going if I'm just catching people singing
this is my job? Yeah exactly, I mean I wanted me.
I don't know why I wouldn't request this earlier, But
can can male people write us please and tell us
like their craziest experience or they're like, you know, some

(09:49):
interesting story for hometowns? Please, Like, yes, tell us what
it's like to be a postal worker. I'm dying to know.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
That would be incredible right well, because also and the
people that also the people that deliver on foot. So
you're getting whatever your weird experiences in the car, but
then there's also all the experiences you get just walking
around neighborhoods.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yes, walking around neighborhoods, Like tell us, like what, you know,
what should we do to support you guys? More?

Speaker 2 (10:16):
Should what do you like when we leave you for
the holidays? You know?

Speaker 3 (10:20):
Like, what what's it like? I want to I want
to day in the life plus a weird crazy story
from male people and people love it. Yeah, that'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (10:29):
That'd be great, good idea, let's do that. What was
that I thought you were going to say?

Speaker 1 (10:33):
We want to hear what people are doing to fill
their time during the day to make themselves not go
crazy and aside from watching TV, or listening to podcast
Aside from media, how do you fill those additional hours
of the day, like, for example, yeah, tell me you
give a three to five thousand person concert as as

(10:57):
the great lead singer of a band that's never existed,
or something along those lines like this. I know this
will eat up a half an hour if I do
this for a while.

Speaker 2 (11:04):
God, what do I don't even know what I do.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Here's here's what some people are doing back into the
media today because we're recording this on Tuesday the eighteenth.
Today was the first day of the hearings of the
Golden State killer trial, where victims got to come and
give either their own victim impact report or that of
a family.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Member who couldn't be there. Amazing.

Speaker 1 (11:28):
They're doing that until Friday when they sentence him.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Fuck yes, I love that even though he pleaded, he
pled guilty, we still get to hear and the victims
still get to speak their fucking you know, lives and
their trauma.

Speaker 2 (11:44):
So it's yeah, like I love that still part of it.
It's so important, and yeah, it's great.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
I want to hear everything about it. And Paul Hols
is there right, yeah in.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Pearson that's what he said in that email.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, you guys emails.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Us guys sometimes will drama.

Speaker 3 (12:00):
Just as Paul Hole's boss as Paul Hole's bosses control
his career in our ponds of our hands.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
No, we don't.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
We like to tell him that, but it is kind
of exciting that he would email us and be like, well,
I'm up here in Sacramento for the and we're just like.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Really, it's exactly where you should be. Of course you are.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (12:24):
It's very well and it's also just like the conclusion
the thing, the inevitable conclusion of a thing that no
one ever thought was ever going to have one and
it's happening, and you.

Speaker 3 (12:35):
Know, yeah, it's never going to be fulfilling. He'll never
speak about it. I bet he's such a piece of shit.
He'll never cop up to the cop to the fact
that he's pretending to be a feeble old man, right
we all know is bullshit.

Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah, I think that's well known, well known rumor that
he he in his private time, is in no way
feeble old man. But that's a rumor. That's the kind
of thing that absolutely would kick up around something like this.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
But yeah, still it's great. You love hearing it because
you're just like yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:05):
And also it's the thing we were talking about last
week where it's just like, there's no, he's not going
to have a crisis of conscience and then say something satisfying. Now,
none of that is part of it, but it doesn't
matter because he's about participation.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
It's about those people standing up and being like, you
fucking you're a monster. I get to say it. Yeah,
you're just a man. You're not a monster, and you're
not supernatural, and you don't have any powers over me
except for the fact that you are so creepy and
crazy that you did what you did.

Speaker 3 (13:42):
But now that's over, let's do exactly right corner real quick. Yeah, yeah,
our podcast what's.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Going on the Old Network this week?

Speaker 2 (13:50):
That's right, this just in what's going on this week?

Speaker 3 (13:56):
Well, I'm glad you asked Karen Bridger Winegar I said
no gifts. I was the wonderful Lacey Mostly aka scam
Goddess on.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
Ah, the scam Goddess. I haven't listened to scam Goddess.
And you like stories about people getting ripped off and
people ripping people off, go over to the scam goddess
on your.

Speaker 2 (14:13):
Wolf and listen to her on I said no gifts.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, I get a taste on Bridger Show, see what happens,
and then go over and try scam God. There's nothing
nothing better.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
And then this week on this podcast will Kill You,
the Aarons are talking about sickle cell disease and they
have guests who are sharing their first hand, firsthand experiences
with sickle cell and they also talk about genome editing
tools to create genetic conditions. It's a really interesting episode.
If you're at all interested in sickle cell disease or
don't know anything about it, this is a really great episode.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
So that's it. Yeah, go learn.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
It's a fascinating thing that like they're basically they're fixing
like genome science and all that. Oh my god, insane
atomic atomic surgeries and stuff like that. Thank you smart people.

Speaker 2 (15:00):
Yeah for real.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Also just really quick on bananas this week Friend of
the Family. Mandy Johnson is on with Scottie and Kurt.
She is a producer for the long running independent stand
up show here in La called Super Serious, and she
has made a book of photography that's all the pictures

(15:22):
she takes of the comics before their sets, and then
she interviewed like fifty comics to.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
Talk about that book.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
So she's she's on bananas doing stories with them. But
then she's kind of there to plug that book a
little bit. So, and she's definitely a friend of the family.
She did our first photo shoot together in my apart,
my old apartment. Remember that, she's been with us.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
She was the photographer at the Santa Barbara Weekend and
our big La show.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
She's definitely a friend of the family. Yeah, she's a
good friend of mine.

Speaker 1 (15:50):
And this book is if you're interested in comedy and
you know the comics that either started in or like
have made La the La scene their home for the
past ten fifteen years. She's been a huge part of it,
and that's this book is just a compilation that's all
about that. So if that's an interest of yours. The
book's called Super Serious. Her name's Mandy Johnson. And I

(16:11):
think it's coming out in.

Speaker 3 (16:13):
Out today, I think, is it? Yeah, well today's actually available.
It's out this week.

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah. Amazing.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Yeah, so you can get it. Look it up if
that's something you're interested in. I have a picture in there.

Speaker 2 (16:23):
I know you do.

Speaker 3 (16:23):
It's a great one. It's a great it's like a
one of your all time greats. She's such a good Poto,
she's so good. And then oh, hey, let's talk about koozies, Karen, Hey,
let's do it.

Speaker 2 (16:34):
We have koozies for sale. We have it.

Speaker 3 (16:36):
Here's the thing, fuck everyone, koozy and then a koozi
with our cool new fingerprint rainbow design on it, and
it has summer sold out, it got restocked. It's so summertime.
We use koozies here at the house all the time
for our canned wines. Vince drinks beer exclusively, so we
are always competing to see whose podcast koozie is going

(16:57):
to be used.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
That day, and they doozies. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Yeah, I'm a big fan of coozies. And we have
so much cool March right now. I'm loving everything we
have and everything we've got coming in.

Speaker 2 (17:09):
It's it's exciting. It's Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
If you're looking for something to do during your day,
if shopping might be a part of it, don't be
afraid to go over to the MFM.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Store and just just kind of look around.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
We really do have a full line of items and
the apparently the fuck you, I'm divorced sweatpants are selling
like hotcakes.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Amazing.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
I love it.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
It's my favorite murder dot com. And then there's like
a storelink you can go to.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
And my friend Heather Anthony a shout out what's up?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
She made the suggestion.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
Now we should make sweatpants that say fuck you, I'm remarried.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
We just keep following relationship arcs of relationship arcs through sweatpants.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
What about fuck you? It's complicated? Can we do that?

Speaker 2 (17:56):
That's right?

Speaker 1 (17:57):
How about fuck you? I don't owe you an explanation.
It's none of your busines because it's the holidays and
I'm sitting at your dinner table.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
Fuck you, I'm single. Would be great to wear to
holiday parties or like you know, at the weekend at
your family's house. Yeah, if you're not in quarantine.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
When you realize that, you probably need your sweatspants to
speak for you.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (18:18):
Like it's loud and proud and you need it. And
I'm proud of you, and I'm loud and I'm loud
at you.

Speaker 1 (18:23):
I'm loud at you, but I'm more than that, I'm.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
Proud at you.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
Let me see, do I have anything else? Did you
watch the show, Dave, I might not talk about it
if you haven't.

Speaker 2 (18:33):
Oh, I have not.

Speaker 3 (18:34):
You know it's show. We just started watching. It premiered
on Sunday. It's so good.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Hold on, let me look it up really quick. It's
called Lovecraft Country. Yes, yes, do you love it? Yes,
it's amazing.

Speaker 3 (18:45):
Oh my god, love Craft Country. It's so good. Yeah,
and it ended on such a cliffhanger. I'm so excited
to keep watching it.

Speaker 1 (18:55):
This might be incorrect. It's just an observation and it
could be incorrect. But what exciting to me is it
feels to me like there's going to be this new
wave of black centric stories in media, especially in like
TV and that kind of like fancy TV, where it's
not about that, right, just getting heroes and experiences and

(19:20):
it's just being treated like every other any other story
instead of having to be you know, like it's it's
not typical, and it's not.

Speaker 2 (19:32):
It's just like everything else, Like sci fi. It's just
fucking cool sci fi. It's historic.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
It's interesting because it is. There's so much to learn
as well. But that's some sundown fucking towns. And there
was a guide book for black people want to how
to travel across the country without going to the wrong places,
which is so heartbreakingly awful. But it's like true, and
it's such a strange secret.

Speaker 1 (19:56):
I honestly believe a lot of people were very upset
because Green Book was such a whitewashed version of that story. Huh,
And that makes perfect sense to me. But the idea
that we're just learning about that, I mean, like I'm
just worrying about that in you know, in twenty whenever
that was eighteen or nineteen.

Speaker 2 (20:16):
It's just so crazy.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
It's just like it's yeah, it's the second they walked
into that shop. First of all, I got teary eyed
because I want to go into a store and browse again.

Speaker 3 (20:28):
Just really lame, just the straight immediate, like fucking like immediate.

Speaker 2 (20:33):
Is I miss shopping?

Speaker 1 (20:35):
I miss I miss going into a store that's set
up cool? Which is that first store he went into
that had the Green Book in the front window.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
Oh I never saw that.

Speaker 1 (20:43):
Yeah, it was like right at the beginning, and he
was going in to talk to well anyway, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (20:47):
I'm sorry, I thought you meant green Book. Yeah, okay,
they got oh no sorry.

Speaker 1 (20:51):
In the in the Bookcraft country and just the it
was supposed to, you know, because.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
It's supposed to be the fifties, right, I think it's
like it's like, right, it's I think it's late forties
because it's super post Oh no, it's post Korea.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
So yeah, you're right, So probably mid fifties or early sixties.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
No fifties, jesus, I'm saying Korea as if I know
in Korea was it's fifties.

Speaker 2 (21:13):
Korea was in the fifties. Yeah, okay, so it's fifties.

Speaker 1 (21:15):
I know that from mash It doesn't matter. The point
is that he's in this beautiful store. That is because
they made it look like the time, so nothing in
the store.

Speaker 2 (21:25):
It looks like a vintage shop, is what it is.

Speaker 1 (21:28):
And it has all these windows so it's like the
regular front windows, but then they also have the top line,
which there's a bunch of stores in my hometown that.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
Have this too.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
It was like, store, if your store faced the west,
then there is extra windows at the top that brought
in even more light so that your light wasn't affected
by the tallest buildings across the street. Anyway, the whole
thing was just very like, yeah, remember when we could
just go into a store, yeah and stand around and

(21:57):
not think about anything.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
Yeah, it's good. It's exciting.

Speaker 3 (22:01):
It's like I fucking love sci fi to begin with,
but it's also like an adventure story.

Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (22:07):
Also you know that happening it's beautiful.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, the opening itself where I was like, wait, who
is the Red Lady?

Speaker 2 (22:15):
What is happening? What is this whole thing? And then
they're not.

Speaker 3 (22:20):
Yeah, so love Lovecraft Country. The first episode is out,
I wish I could binge it. Let's all, let's all
watch it and talk about it every week.

Speaker 1 (22:26):
I mean, because there I was like, this show is
going to suffer no matter how good it is, because
it has to replace my Sunday night pairing me and
we have in our heart.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Now we do well. Also, right, it's HBO, No Prime
what HBO? Yeah? Yeah.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
So so the thing you can rely on with HBO
is they know how to the teams they hire where
it's it's completely You're never just going to get great actors,
are just going to get you know, pretty.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Cool looking set.

Speaker 1 (22:55):
But then like they they just know how to turn
in the entire perfect and get an A plus on it.

Speaker 2 (23:01):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:02):
So it just like the second it started, I was like.

Speaker 2 (23:04):
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Yeah, it's easier to let go of that one when
this one you're delivering right into my hands. That has
it's the same thing where it's period, it's perfectly produced itself.

Speaker 2 (23:14):
The outfits are incredible. Everyone looks so fucking good. Yeah,
big fan. So should we explain what we're going to
be doing today? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (23:24):
Story wise, yeah, this was, this is great. So we
have so many live shows that we've done them. Of course,
we've posted a lot, and then we have and they're all,
you know, these fun shows we had the best time at.
Then we have some shows where either you know, we
did then the night before, so they're kind of repeats
in the beginning. But the stories we did, our the

(23:45):
murder stories are still you know, mean a lot to us,
and they were great and we still want to play
them even though we can't play the entire show.

Speaker 1 (23:52):
So yeah, that we Yeah, well, I was just gonna say,
there's also the piece of it too where we used
to in the early days, and some of you remember this,
we would we would do two shows a night, and
that almost always meant that it was basically the same
we'd never do the same stories for both shows. We
learned that quickly when we did that the first time

(24:13):
in Seattle and saw the.

Speaker 2 (24:14):
Faces in the front rug go oh, why did I
buy tickets to both these?

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Or the people in the meet and greet that were like,
are you going to do the same thing?

Speaker 2 (24:21):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
And then I was just like, oh, no, that's true.
This is two separate shows. So increasing our homeworkload, yeah,
that much more. But so yeah, so some of these
are some of the shows are it reflects directly that
we are now on our five of performing. We'll just
say that there's no judgment. There's always people that are like, oh,

(24:45):
my city didn't get posted and that means this, and
it's like, no release the storyline of whatever reasoning you
think it is. It's usually something much weirder and more
specific than that. But what we want to do is
get the greatest hits out of there. So that's what
we've done. Steven's gone through and listened through and pulled
the stories that are like this one's great, Yeah, these

(25:05):
are usable stories. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:07):
And then so we're going to do almost like you
said today, like a quill tour. It's like Karen's story
from this city and my story from this city, and
that's really great hometown. That's so sad it's languishing and
like it should be, because there's so many great hometowns
that like never got posted except this week. Right, we're
posting maybe the worst hometown we've ever had.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
I argue, I argue you and say, the best hometown
we've ever had. This simply the best hometown we've ever had.

Speaker 3 (25:32):
Let's let's get well, we'll introduce it, we'll get to it.
So my story this week is from our North Charleston
show in South Carolina. It takes I did the story
on September twenty first, twenty eighteen, which actually was the
first of our fall tour that year, and Hurricane Florence
was going on, oh yeah time, and so there's flooding everywhere.

(25:55):
So we had done Durham the night before, we were
supposed to drive to North Charleston, endea up having to
fly because all the roads were closed. Yeah right, remember
that I do. And it was a really great theater.
And I did the Old Exchange in Provost Dungeon story.
So there's a bunch of like people who had been
jailed there, ghosts that people saw, lots of like creepy

(26:17):
stories from it, which I is one of my favorite
things to do, is just like take a place like
Disneyland or whatever and be like, here are the fucked
up stories from it. So that's what you guys are
going to hear today North Charleston Pacific Arts Center.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
I think something probably.

Speaker 3 (26:32):
So this is from the North Charleston Performing Arts Center
on September twenty first, twenty eighteen.

Speaker 2 (26:38):
Enjoy. This is so comfortable.

Speaker 3 (26:39):
All right, Well I'm going first tonight, right, yes you are,
Thank you.

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Guys.

Speaker 3 (26:47):
You know how much I love American history. That's one
thing everyone knows about me. This is just my thing.
So in that with that, I am going to do
the Provosts Dungeon.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Oh is it historical? It's so historical and hysterical.

Speaker 3 (27:09):
Okay, Karen, let me let me give you a history
lesson please, And I bet you guys have heard this
story in elementary school for so much.

Speaker 2 (27:18):
You guys.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
It plays about it and every you know, everyone had
to be a thing and everything.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
Happened plays about a dungeon. Yeah, it's like history. It's historical. Historical.

Speaker 3 (27:27):
Yeah, it's a historical so like everyone did play so
but we in California. We don't talk about that this stuff.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
So we just got high and serve sucking.

Speaker 3 (27:38):
You go to surf class, you go to high stoner class,
you go to snack class, and then you go back
to stoner class and take a nap and you stand
by a tree. So but it turns out that no
historical landmark in Charleston is as well recognized as the
old Exchange and Provost dungeon. Karen at the intersection. What

(28:01):
let me saying it wrong?

Speaker 2 (28:03):
Good? Shut up? It's at the intersection, Karen kiss. You
want to go there later?

Speaker 3 (28:09):
A broad street in East Bay Street? Amazing street? Is
it apartments? Now? Do you guys live there? The Exchange
was constructed on the site of a half moon bastion,
which is which is just where they fight. I had
to look all this shit up, which is just where

(28:29):
they would like shoot the fucking people from like not
like this, but like bastion. That's right, okay, like with
cannon balls boom.

Speaker 2 (28:35):
You know. The exchange was made in seventeen.

Speaker 3 (28:42):
Sixty seven as a mercantile exchange and customs house, which
is basically like where you get your shit, you like
do your city stuff, like you know, mail letters and stuff.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
This was long ago before they had stores and Ammo anything.

Speaker 2 (28:55):
Mom.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
That's Teresa Capouerz Potos there and she's pissed.

Speaker 2 (29:02):
Uh huh.

Speaker 3 (29:04):
So beneath the fucking where people are doing everyday business, though,
is a fucking legit dungeon. Like how often do you
see a dungeon? I mean you guys see it a lot.
But it's been called one of the worst prisons in
US history. Prisoners were subject to anything that happened, which
would be contagious diseases. There was no fresh air, there

(29:25):
was contaminated food. Fucking rats hanging out, always rats, and
they were attached to not the rats, but the people
were attached to heavy iron shackles and they were just
pretty cute.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
It's a little as shackle.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
Oh my god, it's just like seven paper clips.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
I love those shackle rat shackles. It's like a little ring.

Speaker 3 (29:51):
Okay, uh there, and they're left to stopper there in
the dungeon until their execution. So it sucked. Let's see,
Oh I have a photo. Let's see if we can
figure this thing out.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
I bet we can.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Yeah, I didn't bring my glasses act to look closer.

Speaker 2 (30:07):
I get this now, is this Bay Street here? Just kidding?
She's asking me, just kidding. I don't care. So, as
we always say when we look at these beautiful historical
pictures that are like, oh my god, that's so incredible,
is what did it smell like at that mottlement on
this street? What did it smell like? I gotta wonder. Well,

(30:28):
there's a pile of donkey shit right here in the foreground.
But it does look beautiful.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
And then you know, it's weird when you see that
and there's no electric electric poles, there's no wires of
any kind because they were underground. Now it was why, yes, yeah, totally, okay,
you're not that into my observation. Yeah, So this was.

Speaker 3 (30:53):
The majestic building as you just saw. That's the old Exchange.

Speaker 2 (30:56):
It's built by the British and seventy seventy four to
accommodate the knee of the trading and shipping business, you know,
be sure bartering.

Speaker 3 (31:03):
Sure that flourished in a harbor, bartering, et cetera, pelts
and it served as spices.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
And spices of all kinds. Tea. I bet you guys
did that play the tea?

Speaker 1 (31:16):
They love the tea and Duran Duran was always there.

Speaker 3 (31:22):
It was also the cultural center of old Charlestown.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
They called it.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
I'm not saying it wrong, but from now on I
will call it Charlestown because I don't want to get
yelled at.

Speaker 2 (31:31):
But at the time it was called Charles Town's what
it says, with an E on the end of town.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Ow fucking nurse like get hip, God.

Speaker 1 (31:41):
How smaller your glass has been? Franklin out of hair?

Speaker 2 (31:47):
So the building has a ship tome of American history,
as I got that quote from a history book.

Speaker 3 (31:54):
Frame was where the Declaration of Independence was publicly read
to South Carolina means and where is that real?

Speaker 2 (32:02):
It doesn't hurt her South Carolinians, man, I had it. Sorry,
South Carolinians, I've never heard that flow. We've never heard
of anything, never heard anything. We're new We've come out
of a pod and walk on stage. We're new year.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
And where South Carolina ratified the US Constitution. George Washington
used to fucking chill at banquets there and like dance Instill.

Speaker 2 (32:29):
Always leaning.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
He was just likes chilling.

Speaker 3 (32:33):
But underneath all this lovely shit going on is a
place where prisoners were subject to fucking unspeakable torture that
I'm going to speakable about right.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Now, just directly below, like one floor below, there's three floors,
and it's like nice floor, Nice George watching them hang
out here.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
It's fucking torture everyone. I let the rats hang out here.

Speaker 2 (32:55):
I kind of love that it's all in one building.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
Yeah, it's kind of It's like an early mon that's
really convenient.

Speaker 3 (33:02):
It's also like it's also that it still exists and
you can take tours of it, including the dungeon, being like,
we're not We're gonna pretend that this didn't happen, Like
let's just not open that floor.

Speaker 2 (33:10):
It's like, no, no, this whole it was great, but
for a lot of people it suck. Yeah, it sucked
a lot like today.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
So the whole building, of course, is haunted. I'm not
gonna say allegedly because I believe it.

Speaker 2 (33:25):
No, I don't, though. The goats, so they say the
ghosts upstairs and the likes and goats.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
So the goats took over the third floor and they
started arresting everyone and sending themself.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
To the dungeon, and they haunt. Now they haunt the rest.

Speaker 1 (33:43):
Goat ghosts are the scariest ghosts.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
My god, have you guys seen a goat?

Speaker 1 (33:47):
Ghost horns on those goat ghosts are nuts really sharp.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
M So the of course on the like the top
two floors that are like nice and classy, and the
ghosts are like nice and classy and shit.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
So it so goes the floor and they walk like this.
They walk like this, except for George I wrote the
Old The ghost.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Of shares in the Old Exchange are typically less pissed
off than those in the former dungeon.

Speaker 2 (34:15):
I would imagine. Can you imagine they were like, I'm
going to spend you charnity sipping tea.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Out of this cup. Yeah, and I'm not trying to
scare you. Calm down, like they don't do that. It's
now the whole thing is now a museum operated by
the Daughters of the American Revolution. They bought the building
in nineteen twelve and they were like, let's make let's
let people look around. And the staff all wear revolutionary
period clothing on which has to suck.

Speaker 2 (34:40):
I bet they get paid minimum wage.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
Well, because you know I would it would be interesting
to know. But I bet you you just yet the
outfit that's there, right, unless you can make one yourself.

Speaker 3 (34:51):
It's like when you work at like a theme park,
when you have to put the head the like the
head of Mickey Mouse on that someone that's like, you
don't get your own Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, and if nine am to twelve pm Mickey Mouse
eight Dorito's, you're fucking eating Dorita's too.

Speaker 2 (35:05):
That's right.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
It's that feeling, but in like a weird pilgrim dress.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yeah, you're just like and all the women have to
just like wear the shit.

Speaker 2 (35:11):
That's so uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
I had a job once where I had to wear
overalls and let me tell you that sucked.

Speaker 2 (35:17):
The job was that I was a waitress. I thought
you were a farmer. You're like, I was a cashew farmer.
And then and I tell you I was a ghost
at ghost farmer hurting goat ghosts.

Speaker 3 (35:31):
It's hard to say in my overalls, it is. It's
harder to deal with.

Speaker 1 (35:36):
Okay, they were nineties overalls, Like, can they just describe them?

Speaker 3 (35:40):
Okay, this I was so fresh out of Orange County
that they were Dicky's overall. Sure they were, which is
like what like mccan't like people listen to social distortion
or mechanics.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
Were, which is fine, great and good with that. It
didn't look it on me.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
It's fine, But what kind of a restaurant makes you
wear Dicki's overall?

Speaker 2 (36:01):
It was like a country themed. It was a country
themed in Santa Monica. You know what country is country?
In a countryville, they know country.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
You know they serve blueberry fucking pancakes, So they thought
it was a country theme.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
Shit, dude, did you cuff those overalls on the bottom?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
Probably? What kind of a shoe do you wear?

Speaker 1 (36:22):
Just like, I'm stressed out, like now I have to
wear overalls, which if you think they look bad on you, simply.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
Imagine can you imagine a farmer? Look up?

Speaker 3 (36:30):
If the decision to dress what we were going to
wear for this for live shows, because we were like,
what should we wear? We got this, let's just wear
black dresses. It's easier. But if it had been between
black dresses and overalls, and I fought really hard for overalls, oh.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
None of us would be here tonight.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
It would be like night three of Teresa Kaputa.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
I'm telling you your future, you can't do it.

Speaker 3 (36:51):
And that's how the podcast fell apart.

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Okay, so the staff.

Speaker 3 (36:56):
They were revolutionary revolution period clothings, and so some bit
are visitors have approached being approaching someone that they thought
was a staff motor, like, excuse me, can I can
you tell me where the latrine is or whatever, and
then only to watch in horror as that person would
then disappear into ferent.

Speaker 1 (37:15):
But if that exchange happened in front of me, I
wouldn't know who the ghost was because who fucking says, latree?

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Your husband is Abril s latrine all the time?

Speaker 2 (37:28):
Is he real?

Speaker 1 (37:30):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (37:30):
Sh this is how we find out. I just fucking
go crazy.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
And then I wrote not sure if they were on
mushrooms the person who saw the ghost.

Speaker 2 (37:40):
That would be oh, but it was just we were touching.
They weren't touching.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
They were just asking a person they thought was in
period dress a question allegedly allegedly, and then that person
and they're like, I still have to pee?

Speaker 2 (37:56):
Where the fuck is the latree? Come back?

Speaker 1 (37:58):
It's like when they put you on whole, but they
just disappear. Do you have any into one moment? Terrible music?

Speaker 3 (38:05):
Okay, so let's get into who the ghosts would be
if there were ghosts there, which there definitely are there
are for the sake of the story. So Charlestown aka
Charleston was a mix of wealthy socialites, poor immigrants, labors, slaves,
and pirates and so yeah, all right, that's hot. I

(38:25):
bet they smelled so bad. Yeah, no, just salty. I
mean hangings were super popular of course in this era.
Yes they were, and not everyone who was sentenced to
death was guilty. So that is like right for ghosting,
like haunting, like I'm passed off. I wasn't guilty, you know, sure,

(38:47):
So that's this must be true then what we call
ghost logic. So there's of course legends that in the
early eighteenth century Blackbeard would fucking get locked up and
chill out there.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
Of course. You know that pirate, Yes, the living pirate.
What when he was alive? You're saying, yes, yes, sorry,
I was. I just love ghosts, so I.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Thought we were so ghosts as a well formed human
being that didn't disappear black Beard.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
Allegedly when black Beard came here, was he American? No, No,
we'll talk about it later. We'll talk about Jesus why
my carriage.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
Yeah, he came here because it was like the harbor
and shit, you know, uh, huh so uh. He was
imprisoned in Provost after blockading the Charleston Harbor taking, and he
took a bunch of local citizens hostages because he wanted leverage,
because what he needed was medicine, because he needed he
had all these his pirate friends on his ship. They

(39:50):
needed medicine because they all had fucking crazy vds.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Oh yeah, I thought you were just gonna say scurvy.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
No, no, they weren't e they had downstairs scurvy. No,
MIM will help you there, my friend.

Speaker 3 (40:07):
I just realized how much this toweling sounds like an
episode of drunk history.

Speaker 2 (40:12):
And I'm not drunk. I did not take a big.

Speaker 3 (40:16):
Old gulp of that yetti of brown liquor in the uber.

Speaker 1 (40:20):
I wish I had, I know, okay, both taking a
long pull off that thing.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
But eventually the town was like, all right, just get
your fucking be demds and like let our people go.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
It was just all to cure sdds.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Yeah wow, yep, saying really embarrassed as they were taking hostages,
could you.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Please come here and help me.

Speaker 3 (40:39):
We're just like, you're really itchy, are.

Speaker 2 (40:45):
Are Okay?

Speaker 3 (40:47):
So one of the people that everyone says is a ghost.
Here is a dude, okay, in seventeen eighteen, a dude
who was quote a gentleman pirate. And I was like,
I don't know what that is. I'm going to look
it up. And you think it'd mean like he wasn't
a dick to like the people he captured, right, No,
he was a terrible, one of the worst pirates in history.
Oh and it was because so his name was Steve Bonnet.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
Steve, Steve Bonnes Steed, oh Stee, Steve. I was cooler
than Steve. I went to high school with Steve Bonnet
and he was a dick. So he was.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
He was initially this like kind of wealthy landowner. He
came from a good family. Then he got bored. He yeah,
married and had kids and was like, I hate this.
My wife nags me all the time. I'm going to
build a pirate ship, which you don't do. You're supposed
to steal a pirate ship. I'm going to pay the pirates.
My friend's on the pirate ship, but you're not supposed
to do. You're supposed to like divvy up the goods
the booty.

Speaker 2 (41:42):
I know.

Speaker 3 (41:44):
And so no one respected him, and he just was
like like it's like when you know, when you.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
Know there's something about a rich kid, when a rich
kid wants to be like a punk rocker.

Speaker 1 (41:55):
So they just get a bunch of tattoos and then
they panhandle and they're like, hey, can it all right
of sense?

Speaker 2 (42:00):
And I'm like, I have three jobs.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
And you have more gold in your face than I've
ever seen in my life.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Pawn something. There you go, that's exactly it. Pawn something.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
That was me living in the upper hat in Saraancisco.
I was like getting off the bus from my job
at the Gap to get on the bus to go
to my job at Bar Essentials.

Speaker 2 (42:19):
Oh the early days.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Thank you, Bear Essentials, wonderful mineral makeup product.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Thank you. I didly invent it. At Placement, I didn't
invent it.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
There would always be like nineteen year olds from Marin County.

Speaker 2 (42:30):
They'd be like, hey, man, could I have a dollar?

Speaker 1 (42:33):
And I'd just be like, you, motherfucking asshole, I know
that's your audie, get into it and drive away.

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
So he eventually Blackbeard like took him under his wing
because he felt bad for him.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
The gentleman pirate. M hm, okay.

Speaker 3 (42:48):
He was like, you fucking idiot, Let me help you out,
and they got caught. So they got caught escaping the
dungeon and they were brought back and Bonnet's crew was
imprisoned in the pros dungeon. But because he was a gentleman,
Steed got put in the town Marshall's house because he's
like rich, yeah, essentially, but the twenty nine dudes that

(43:11):
he was fucking sailing around with had to stay in
this shitty dungeon.

Speaker 2 (43:15):
Oh there's a photo ready, No, are you ready for this? Yes?
There you go. What look at that?

Speaker 1 (43:22):
Is this from that play you guys were in in
high school?

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Look at that shit?

Speaker 1 (43:28):
Right, there's George Washington on the left.

Speaker 3 (43:35):
The guy looks really bored with his head in his
hands and tights on is Steed and everyone looks pretty bombed.
It doesn't look fun. This is what is when you
take a tour. This is what it looks like.

Speaker 2 (43:49):
Love it.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I know, right, there's nothing worse than a sad pirate.
I'd rather be waving their sword around.

Speaker 2 (43:56):
That's like, I mean, it just looks and you have
a VD and you're fucking chain there. Yeah, that's such
a bummer. They're just like We're just down here with
our gone rhea.

Speaker 1 (44:07):
Yeah, we're never gonna get out.

Speaker 2 (44:09):
Yeah, this sucks. We miss the ocean.

Speaker 3 (44:13):
What if that night when everything closes up, those dudes
come to life.

Speaker 2 (44:17):
They're just really poudy, itchy pirate. Yeah, I don't do
anything being dicks downstairs. So they're all there, and they
all are.

Speaker 3 (44:28):
The twenty nine men are executed by hanging after they
had been stuck in the in the dungeon, and Steve
is sentenced to be hanged by the neck and tell
you are dead.

Speaker 1 (44:38):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (44:38):
And he wrote to the governor. At this point, he
was like, Okay, I'm done with this fucking little you
know game I'm playing.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
I want to go back to my nagging wife.

Speaker 3 (44:46):
I'm not calling her nagging, he called her nagging. I'm
sure she was lovely. And so he wrote to the
governor and begged for clemency. And he said that if
you let me go, I'll I swear, I'll even cut
my arms and fucking legs off to ensure I'll never
pirate again.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Like that that's how Like, that's what a big fucking
liar he was. Yeah, asshole, Yeah, did it work?

Speaker 1 (45:06):
No.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
December tenth seventeen eighteen, he was put to death. So goodbye.

Speaker 1 (45:12):
Now, if you're home with an STD, do you have
it as a ghost?

Speaker 2 (45:19):
Do you think these are.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Things that we could have asked Teresa if she would
just do a double bill with us what she says
she won't do.

Speaker 2 (45:28):
Yeah, that was Teresa's alive ghost. It's an a live ghost.
Would you use that paper already?

Speaker 3 (45:37):
Already use I mean sorry, I feel like that's the
first time that's ever happened on stage.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
I think I've done it a couple of times. I'll
have you. Yeah, okay, let's let's move on. Children. I'd
love to okay.

Speaker 3 (45:52):
So then the British took Charleston in seventeen eighty and
under British control, any patriots who were like, you know,
we don't want you here, they put them in the
dungeon alongside the pirates and raiders and and like so
they're like these like normal like people when they're in
like scary pirates.

Speaker 2 (46:09):
I heard pirates are scary and.

Speaker 3 (46:11):
They're left to die that from disease and injury, parasites
and rats. And because it was below the waterline and
right there on the harbor, the dungeon would flood sometimes
and drown the fucking captives.

Speaker 2 (46:23):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (46:24):
I was like, I would haunt the shit out of
that place, that would I would rattle some windows exactly
there weren't windows.

Speaker 2 (46:30):
It was a dungeon. Oh shit.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
I'd go upstairs into the tea room, book and shit,
and often they would just leave the dead there in
the dungeons with the living.

Speaker 2 (46:41):
Really, yeah, Jesus, I know, it's almost like it's a dungeon.
It's almost bad. Soon after the British shook over, they
locked up a local trader named Casper Strobel. He's a
sixty three year old dude.

Speaker 3 (46:55):
His only crime was that his two sons were fighting
for the rebels, meaning our side, and in retaliation, he
was detained in the Provost dungeon, where he remained he
quote remained in chains until he was insensible, and then
he was released and they died the next fucking day
from madness.

Speaker 2 (47:11):
So like, that's how crazy it made you there. Wow.

Speaker 3 (47:13):
The Exchange's most notorious execution came in seventeen eighty one
with the Advent of the American Advent of the American Revolution.

Speaker 2 (47:24):
This is where you guys did the play.

Speaker 3 (47:25):
But yeah, So Isaac Haine was born in seventeen forty
five to a pretty well off family. He married a
woman named Elizabeth Hudson. They had seven children. They were
just like, you know, oh wait, there's a dungeon again. Ooh,
isn't it kind of beautiful?

Speaker 1 (47:38):
Though it's pretty well, you know, it's you gotta love
and life arched dome. H.

Speaker 3 (47:45):
I'm kind of like, if I ever buy a house,
I'm going to give this to the fucking interior designer and.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Be like and be like, and can you pick colors
that go good with flood water.

Speaker 3 (47:54):
And rat?

Speaker 2 (47:56):
Yeah? And I went around the house tiny rats and chains.
It's funny. It's Nancy joke.

Speaker 3 (48:02):
Yeah, you should listen to the podcast sometimes.

Speaker 2 (48:07):
Okay, So that's him right here. She's laughing at your dude.
He's just like he's yellow. He's super yellow.

Speaker 1 (48:20):
If I have that same ruddy skin, I understand it
looks like a I understand.

Speaker 2 (48:27):
He looks like a light exit. Yeah. I wish was that.
The painter was like, I'm not going to put the
full exo, but I feel like we need to let
everyone know in the future.

Speaker 3 (48:35):
It's Rose sho, that's the one. It's Rose excuse me.
I mean it's on his chin, it's everywhere. It also
could be that he just fucking loved booze.

Speaker 2 (48:44):
Honey.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
It was just like I think I might drink like
seven mugs of meat and then get my portrait taken.

Speaker 3 (48:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Oh, but just a little kure on that Nivia.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
Perhaps a bit of nivia, can I say though? Excellent eyebrows?
Oh yeah those. I mean he's very patrician.

Speaker 1 (49:07):
But we also he just looks like someone that would
park in a handicap space, doesn't it?

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Okay? Question, you have to go around uh with that
haircut for a month. But you get a million dollars,
you have you have to go to your normal ship.

Speaker 3 (49:28):
Yes, yes, okay, here's about one hundred dollars.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
No, how No, it needs to be up in the
six figures.

Speaker 1 (49:39):
Yeh yeah, because it's really.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
Six seven, which is why we have a met canted.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
If I'm going to get a million dollars, it has
to have six numbers in it.

Speaker 2 (49:58):
Sorry, That's how I do business. I'm sorry. How could
Karen's so poor? She works so hard. She just accepted me.
She doesn't know. She always goes backwards with the zero.
She's like, no, I'll only take six biguers. Okay.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
It's like at the end of the nights when hands
me a twenty dollars bill, thank you as my twenty
million dollars.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Okay, that's okay. I was just gonna say I can't.
I can't take a bob that short. Sure, that's why,
that's why it have to be. I don't think it's
that's the that's not the problem.

Speaker 3 (50:28):
It's not.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
But what other problem I'm doing? I don't mean, are
you saying I can't wear an ascot? Motherfucker? Remember me?
Is I can? No one's questioning your askcot wearing abilities?
Wait aod bye. Remember what you said to me in
the airport this morning, what you almost accidentally insulted me.

Speaker 3 (50:45):
I went like, I feel like I look like this
person today. I kind of had this, like I had
this vibe of the kid from pre sixteen sixteen, which
I get sometimes and I love and I kind of
felt it and I told her, and she goes, yeah,
but he's attractive, But it's okay that you look like
him because he's attractive.

Speaker 2 (51:03):
But it sounded like I didn't say the first part first.

Speaker 1 (51:06):
Yeah, So it sounds like I was arguing.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
And I was like, oh, I want to cry in
an airport and this is this is why we have to.

Speaker 1 (51:15):
Go to therapy. Also, it was fucking eight in the morning.

Speaker 2 (51:21):
It's just not fair. Okay, No, it was not on you.
It was on freaks and geeks. That happens to me
all the time.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Though something comes out of my mouth and then I'm like,
did I tell.

Speaker 2 (51:31):
You that what I did in Bloomingdale's this was amazing? No,
it was.

Speaker 1 (51:36):
It was Labor Day weekend. I was in Bloomingdale's. I
thought it was going to be so crowded that like
it was the mall and it's just the store attached
to the mall, so I thought it was going to
be packed, and I uh.

Speaker 2 (51:50):
Was walking through and there was, of course hardly anybody there.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Maybe because it's fucking Bloomingdale's isn't where everybody wants to.

Speaker 2 (51:56):
Show it, you know, when labor everyone's like, you know
where I really want to been Labor Day? Bluemy's just
maxing out my credit card for two pairs of shoes.
But as I was walking around, I looked over and
there was a girl that was just standing. It's like
the thing that never happens for at least in California.
At Macy's where you know macy you can't get anyone
to ring you up. It's just like you have to

(52:16):
chase people down.

Speaker 1 (52:17):
You're just a girl standing at the cash register like
waiting for someone to buy something.

Speaker 2 (52:22):
And so I meant to ask her, like, has it
been busy this weekend?

Speaker 1 (52:27):
But what I did was yell across the store, are
you busy this weekend?

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I asked the cashier out are you busy this weekend?

Speaker 1 (52:37):
And she's like like that, and then I just started laughing.

Speaker 2 (52:46):
No, okay, not what I meant.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Then you can't explain it. It's came out of your
mouth as a full sentence. There's no there's nothing else
to be done. So now I'm day this fucking cash here.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Well, deeply in love. It's time to time. I love it.
If you get the discount, you get a discount, friends
and family, baby.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
Yes, okay, there was pot involved, all right, it was
the weekend.

Speaker 2 (53:20):
There was pot involved. It's California. We have to do it. Yeah.
They make us. The mayor makes you.

Speaker 1 (53:26):
The mayor comes around your house and makes you.

Speaker 2 (53:28):
They give you your your rations for the week.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
They're like smoke this in the mall parking structure before
you go in, and then have a real good time
and then ask out whoever you see. I don't think
I've ever asked anyone out in my life.

Speaker 2 (53:43):
Really. No, I want you to never.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
I want I'm gonna make you I'm that friend, I'm
that fucking brind I'm gonna fucking.

Speaker 2 (53:53):
Make you of some it out. Well, I mean it
worked the last time. Yeah, you just have breakfast. Let's
talk about murder. Okay, it was just so loud. Okay,
So he lived in a night he lived in a
nice mansion and all this shit. He was super rich.

Speaker 3 (54:11):
We're talking about Isaac Hayne again, Yes, not yeah, okay,
yellow jacket.

Speaker 2 (54:16):
Yes. By seventeen seventy six, in the middle of.

Speaker 3 (54:19):
The Revolutionary where he becomes a captain in the Patriot militia.
He's like, let's book in do this, you know, like
he's in it, like you know, he's a Patriot.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
He's so cool. That guy talked like that.

Speaker 3 (54:32):
There kind of like wanted to defend his country against
you know, the British.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
They're coming nine times to have to say, you know,
the British. See that.

Speaker 3 (54:46):
So then a British commander who captures the town Sir
Harvey Clinton, which I'm sure was played by the kid
that everyone hated in elementary school. He captures a town
in the Siege of Charleston. He threatens to confiscate the
property anyone who continues to be loyal to uh, you know,
our town, and he's like, you can't resist the royal anymore.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
Yeah, take your fucking shit, and.

Speaker 3 (55:09):
So, but he promised protection to anyone who would support
the British. So of course, Hayin he's totally a patriot,
but he's like, I don't want to lose my shit.
But also his he got locked up and his wife
and his children were on their deathbed from smallpox. So
he's like, I just don't I can't lose all this shit.
I'm just gonna sign it. And he signed it, and
he was like he took like there was this agreement

(55:30):
that he was like, Okay, I swear I'll be on
your side while you're here, but when you're not here anymore,
I won't be on your side anymore.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Still, that's that's when it counts the most. He's when
they're there.

Speaker 3 (55:44):
It doesn't work like that one hundred percent, But like
they were like great. So so the Patriot forces pushed back,
they get them out of there, and he is like, great,
I'm not in the Royal militia anymore. The success of
the Patriots allowed him to believe that they were gone,
so he wasn't. He didn't have the obligation to, you know,
yell about how great they were anymore.

Speaker 2 (56:05):
I love tea stuff like that. So okay.

Speaker 3 (56:10):
But then a few months later he's captured by General
Andrew Williamson. He's an American spy working for the British
aka a snitch is what I wrote.

Speaker 2 (56:20):
Haw's come on, dude, be cool.

Speaker 1 (56:24):
Wait you mean a second guy, because the first guy
is not cool either?

Speaker 2 (56:27):
No?

Speaker 3 (56:27):
That which one? Andrew Isaac case, No, no, no, he's we
like him, we.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
Do he Yeah, he.

Speaker 3 (56:35):
Did what he had to do for his wife and
children that were dying, right, And he was like, but
I'm also like, but I also like, won't be on
your side when it doesn't count, right, right, Okay, But
the really bad guy, the really bad guy who's like,
I'm gonna secretly be this guy and I'm actually that guy.

Speaker 2 (56:52):
He's the snitch. So they start to fear that, so
they catch him and decide that Isaac Canes should be
made an example for what happened to those who commit treason.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
So like, all he did was tell them he was
going to be on their side. Then he wasn't, and
then they're like, we're going to send an example of you.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Oh that's treason. Okay, technically yes percent technically two people who.

Speaker 1 (57:19):
Know nothing about history now fighting about history.

Speaker 2 (57:23):
It's such a great place to start. It's the new
TV show on History Channel. It's happening.

Speaker 3 (57:29):
So he's imprisoned in the pros Dungeon and he begs
the officials to let him, sees children will less time, but.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
They're like nope.

Speaker 3 (57:36):
And on the day of his execution, which is August fourth,
seventeen eighty one, all the citizens go into the street.
He's escorted by a party of soldiers to the gallows,
is hands tied behind him, and he's hanged until he dies.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
Yeah, okay, So he is.

Speaker 3 (57:50):
One of the most prominent Americans to be executed by
the British during the American warb in Dependence, and he
probably is haunting the dungeon. Maybe so the Old Exchange
in its accompanying dungeons spent spent the twentieth century under
the threat of redevelopment. It was saved that, like I
told you, by the Daughters of the Revolution. In all records,

(58:10):
I've identified at least one hundred and twenty South Carolina
residents or patriots who spent time as prisoners on site
for treason, sedition, sedition, and rebellious speech. And down in
the dungeon you can still see what's left of the
original wall of Visitors and staff have reported that they
hear fucking ghosts and shit all the time, as well
as moaning like someone's in a lot of pain.

Speaker 1 (58:32):
There's rancid odors that come and go at will, which
is like those are the costumes those.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
We went over that already, and visions of apparitions in
period clothing with blank stairs will walk aimlessly through the halls.

Speaker 2 (58:47):
Can I just tell you something.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
Yeah, that just reminded me of one time I was
at work and I kept smelling this really bad like
cologne or perfume.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
It was really strong. It's got to be a ghost
and it was really.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
Gross, and I kept going, who's wearing that perfume? Got
It's just a smussele bat. It's smussed about who's wearing it,
and I couldn't stop saying it, and I would walk
up and smell people and be like, I really wanted
to find who was wearing this terrible And it turned
out it was me.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Of course, I had switched.

Speaker 1 (59:16):
Normally I wear secrets shower fresh, and I switched to
spring fresh or some other flavor afresh, and it did
not agree with my armpits, and it created a smell
that was like it was like it was like if
a dirty thirteen year old like got ready for a

(59:37):
dance without taking a shower.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
But it was on me all day. You were the
one hears me. I was haunted myself, and some have
seen Shane's being bolten and stuff and dancing orbs are
reported cold spots.

Speaker 3 (59:54):
And a few visitors are reported to be pushed and
choked by invisible hands whoa and whoa, like actual.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Hands coming out of the air. I mean it was
probably seven year old Susie who just likes to get attention.

Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
These hands come up from really low. You're like, what
do you want me to lean too?

Speaker 2 (01:00:14):
He's reaching some kid was like a ghosts and Susie
like I got choked by a ghost. God Susie.

Speaker 3 (01:00:21):
Shut up, Susie, and it's all thought to be the
ghosts of those were left to suffer in the Provost dungeon.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
And that's the Provost. Look, I like learning you do?
I did?

Speaker 3 (01:00:38):
Was that?

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
What just happened? Doubt it? There it was? We did it.
You did it. You did your story? Thank you? Did
I knock it out of the park.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
I'm sure you did it most I probably did great job.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
Here Now we're gonna We're gonna then go back in
time even one year before that, because my story on
today's podcast Quilt is from Kansas City and this was
December ninth, twenty seventeen, so this was basically the one
year anniversary of when we first started touring.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
Holy shit, really.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Yeah, because our first technically first live show like on
the road was the Bellhouse show in Brooklyn, which was
in December, and the Bellhouse held three hundred people.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
Many more than that wanted to go. We didn't understand that. Again,
apologies to the staff.

Speaker 1 (01:01:34):
And management of the Bellhouse who absolutely have our faces
up like bag check writers in the back of that
cannot it was people a show here again, pure insanity. Also,
that was back when I was the tour manager. I'll
take care of it, I said to Georgia, so confidently. Anyways,
this is one year later. We're in Kansas City, which

(01:01:55):
we Kansas City. We always have the best shows there.
Those are fucking nuts. So this was a night where
we did two shows in one night, and my story
was the last. This is the story, the last story
on the second show. So when Stephen put this on
the list, because Stephen pre listens to all the live
shows and that's basically takes notes because we I'm so sick.

(01:02:19):
I'm so sick my sound of my own voice and
everything around it. So he basically says, this is good.

Speaker 3 (01:02:25):
That means everything around it is my voice, so my voice.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
This isn't about you. Stop making it about me.

Speaker 2 (01:02:33):
So this is the last.

Speaker 1 (01:02:37):
So when Stephen put this on the list of this
was a good one, I said, how is this possible?
I remember doing this and feeling physically ill. And then
when we put it together and Vince just we were
trying to think of, hey, do we have any stories,
like do you remember from this long ago? And we
were just saying if it was the if it was
the second story on the second show, that's what The

(01:02:59):
bad feeling was not that I didn't have a good time,
but that we shouldn't have been doing two shows in
right night.

Speaker 3 (01:03:04):
We stopped doing it, I think after that tour, because
it's like four hours on stage is too many hours
on stage. It just like drains you mentally and you
just don't have the heart.

Speaker 2 (01:03:14):
You can't.

Speaker 3 (01:03:15):
I mean, God bless fucking musical theater people and people
who can actually just.

Speaker 1 (01:03:18):
Ship like this Broadway Broadway people, We're like two on Sunday,
fucking yeah, we're not even singing. So I do sometimes,
but that's very low efforts.

Speaker 3 (01:03:29):
Yeah, we want to do the best show, and so
we stopped doing Even though we could make a shit
ton of more money, we were like, but we're going
to put out a shitty product.

Speaker 2 (01:03:37):
So we were fuged well.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
And also because the energy in those rooms so intense
and so big and so much like to doing two
of that in a night. I couldn't even imagine I
was doing that anymore. It was pure ignorance that we
were able to do it in the first place anyhow,
So please enjoy. This is at the Midland Theater in
Kansas City, Missouri, and one of those big beautiful old

(01:04:02):
theaters that is so insane looking. I just took a
tour of it online today just to see if I
could remember any specifics. But you know, I was thirty
seven years old, it was three years a baby. It's
it's crazy to think of. It's so funny. So anyway,
all that in mind, please enjoy my story of the

(01:04:23):
Stall Cemetery.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Well, mine is Mine.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Is slightly away, but this, this place has been of
interest to me for such a long time, and I
was so excited because it's only an.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Hour away from where we are right now.

Speaker 1 (01:04:37):
And it is apparently, according to the Internet, the most
haunted evil place on Earth. It's the Stall Cemetery where
the Bride, where the Bride ghost lives.

Speaker 2 (01:04:52):
Oh my god, I'm scared.

Speaker 1 (01:04:53):
Yeah, you should be, You fucking should be, because guess
what what the devil comes out of Well twice a
year to visit his child's grave, which is somewhere in
the cemetery, and I believe on the headstone they say
the name is something it looks like witches, but it
also kind of looks like it could be someone's last name.

(01:05:15):
And so apparently the devil, although he is the Antichrist,
and the lord of all evil also cares.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
Deeply for his dead son.

Speaker 1 (01:05:23):
So okay, I apparently that's the story, all right, Stole
is a city, an unincortable nose, Stole with a tea.

Speaker 2 (01:05:34):
Oh, that'd be fun if it was called Skull.

Speaker 1 (01:05:37):
I mean, it would be fun. But then I bid it.
It was a bit on the nose, don't you think. Yeah,
it's a touch had right, Like, oh, I guess, so
we'll go one letter off, okay, and we'll call it still.
It's an unincorporated community, I said city. It does not
qualify as a city. It's also quite.

Speaker 2 (01:05:53):
Small, smaller than your town. Fuck. Sorry, I wanted to win.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
This is a it's in Douglas County, Kansas, Kansas, representing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:08):
See all right, if it's that small, then they're all
here tonight.

Speaker 1 (01:06:11):
Yeah, all of Stolla is here and they're ready to
rise up. I'm so happy to hear you make that
noise at us Kansas because when I discovered so basically
I had, I had what I thought I was doing,
and then I changed my mind. Yeah, so I had Stephen.
I was like, can you send me creepy things? I
want to do A creepy one for the second show,

(01:06:33):
it's more fun, and so he sent me a bunch
of choices. Well, I see the Still cemetery and I'm like.

Speaker 2 (01:06:38):
Yes, this is it. It's my passion, not so much
so that I know what state it's in. So then
when I at.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
Like six pm this evening saw that it was not
in Missouri, that I was like pouring sweat at the desk.
I was just like, holy fuck, and I texted Stephen.
I was like, yeah, so that's not actually where we are,
So I need a news story.

Speaker 2 (01:07:02):
Did we fire seven? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:07:04):
I fired him, but then I re hired him at
a lower rate.

Speaker 3 (01:07:08):
Okay, so it's fine.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Thank you, that's all I need to share. It supports you.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
No, it's actually But then when I looked at it
on the map, it's so fucking close, and I was like,
whoever's mad at this?

Speaker 2 (01:07:25):
Fuck them? And then I always forget.

Speaker 1 (01:07:28):
We have such amazing listeners who drive for hours at
a time to come to these live shows. So thank you,
and now let's journey to hell together. Founded in eighteen
fifty six, Stole was originally known as Deer Creek, but
it was renamed after its first postmaster, Sylvester Stole, now

(01:07:53):
some say it was the city was renamed after him,
but some say that the post office if a town
was on a not a town. If an area was
unincorporated and didn't have a name, they would just call
it by the post master's last name.

Speaker 2 (01:08:06):
Oh that was that was what they used to do
back then. It's easy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:10):
So either way, here's to Sylvester Stall. What is a
haunted fucking name right there? I know, I build them stully.
They tore the post office down in nineteen oh three.
I don't know why. They were mad about mail price
of stamps.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
So this area was settled mostly by Germans and the
Pennsylvania Dutch aka the Amish.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
You guys are here tonight, Aish? What have we got?
A big Amish following?

Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
And they have to leave like three months before a
show because they have to go by carriage, oh, alongside
a freeway al slow with the reflective triangle on the back.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
And I love the Amish. Could you imagine and bring
us like homemade homemade?

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
Well that's what everybody does. Yeah, I don't have to
imagine that. Uh okay, So eighteen fifty seven, there's six
families that live install which I love. So the same year,
they construct a stone church on land donated by Jacob Hildenbrand,

(01:09:24):
and it's later called the Evangelical Emmanual Church. And then
in eighteen fifty nine Hilda Brand donated more land for
the cemetery area. Until nineteen oh eight, sermons at the
small county chapel were preached in Germany, a gorgeous language.

(01:09:46):
This small community never grew larger than fifty people at
the time. Now it's up to two hundred. Congratulations, stop
keep it up, they're all Every single one of those
two hundred people is about how many people try to
come to the Still Cemetery and back around.

Speaker 2 (01:10:04):
They hate it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:06):
Okay, someone named Chris christ Craft?

Speaker 2 (01:10:11):
What who wrote this? Gotta be right? It's gotta be
right like Christ Noah selic from Nirvana. It's christ Craft.

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
An inhabitant of the settlement during the twentieth century, recalls
that life in this small town was quiet, easy, sometimes
even boring.

Speaker 2 (01:10:29):
Whoah shit.

Speaker 3 (01:10:32):
Said?

Speaker 1 (01:10:32):
Everyone here right until So this is all directly taken
from a website called The Week and Weird and this
the guy that writes his website went to the Still Cemetery,
so a lot of his stuff was firsthand it's really
hilarious because he's like, I got there and there were
fires in all four corners of the cemetery, and I
was like, dude, are you sure?

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
Okay? So he writes.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
For over a century, Still Cemetery has been linked to
countless legends involving witchcraft, satanic cults.

Speaker 2 (01:11:03):
What's impointing at me? Because you love it?

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
I love it, but I'm making you love it. And
of course the infamous gateway to Hell? Have you ever
heard about this?

Speaker 3 (01:11:13):
Now?

Speaker 2 (01:11:13):
It's the best? Is it a gateway to help? It is?
It's not a highway to Hell?

Speaker 1 (01:11:18):
Ac DC owns that they have the copyright. According to legends,
Lucifer the Devil, that's who I was talking about earlier,
he once used this the church that was in the
center of the cemetery. Then it became abandoned and he

(01:11:40):
used it as his own personal doorway from the nether world.
It was install where he would rouse the spirits who
had been buried inside the gates of the most evil.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
Cemetery in existence.

Speaker 1 (01:11:53):
Sorry, people who are buried in the Still Cemetery, I
don't know what you did wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:11:57):
You fucking fucked up Amish people know you're alienating our
Amish listeners. That's scott our Amish listener.

Speaker 1 (01:12:10):
Hand crank podcast machine. It plays podcasts and makes butter
at the same time.

Speaker 2 (01:12:19):
So good.

Speaker 3 (01:12:22):
I just feel like they wouldn't the double wouldn't be
like Kansas.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
I feel like he'd be like, you know, Transylvania. I
don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:12:29):
I mean, maybe that's not against Kansas. It's fork Like
why would you know what I mean, it's like too late.
The people are better than that.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
You're better than Transylvania.

Speaker 3 (01:12:40):
Oh now I'm insulting the Transylvanian listeners too.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
That guy in a cape standing out her hairs, I'll
slick back.

Speaker 2 (01:12:47):
Oh, I know he's livid.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
He's putting his hands out and walking really slowly toward us.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
I'm not scared of you. I'm scared. Okay. So this
is really awesome.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
So this church in the center of the cemetery is
like basically the center of all this evil doings and
all this kind of stories around it.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
So there is outside of the church, there is.

Speaker 1 (01:13:11):
A there's like a platform and underneath it they said,
like grasses grown over it. But if you lift it up,
there's a set of stairs that go down to nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
No one knows where they go to real.

Speaker 1 (01:13:24):
Though, well, I mean, yeah, okay, you know, it's like
we're like a half creepypasta realness right now. I would
say got it, but they say, and those who have
done it no names, no no dates, no nothing verifiable.
But those who have walked down these stairs say that

(01:13:44):
as you walk down, a very strong force tries to
pull you to the bottom of the stairs.

Speaker 2 (01:13:48):
Gravity. Don't fuck up our scary story with science. Scary.
I got a lot of sugar today.

Speaker 1 (01:14:04):
It's just the one person started walking too fast at
the top of the stairs.

Speaker 2 (01:14:08):
And they like went down.

Speaker 1 (01:14:09):
They're like, that devil is making me oh, or.

Speaker 2 (01:14:12):
He did what I did the opposite of I did earlier,
tripped up upstairs.

Speaker 3 (01:14:17):
I tripped up a step today, No kin me. He
fell And it's just gravity, right, Did you just fall
all the way down on the ground when.

Speaker 2 (01:14:25):
My knee was really in front of people. Don't worry,
it was in front of people the whole valets dance saw.
No one tried to help me. I think that's best.

Speaker 1 (01:14:36):
Yeah, when I fall all the way down, I want
everyone to leave me.

Speaker 3 (01:14:38):
The fuck I They were like, oh, okay, leave her
to look away, look away, let her have her shame alone.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
One time I fell on this quick sidebar. I fell
out of a cab in Chicago. It was very odd.
It was like I thought I had it. I thought
I had it, like getting out of a car. I'd
done it before. I thought I had this shit on lock.

Speaker 2 (01:15:01):
I had stuffing have a fucking curve. I know, right.
The devil trues it does. The devil pulls you down.
You don't need stairs. It's a weird course.

Speaker 1 (01:15:12):
I fell down in front of this busy movie theater
in Chicago.

Speaker 2 (01:15:16):
It's out of the cab.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
It didn't make sense, like if you had seen it,
you'd have been like, but you're supposed to step up
out and I just like kind of came out and
down and I did it where it was like hard,
and it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:28):
Was like my toe caught on this curb that I
didn't see or whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:15:31):
So I went a spl full splade, and then my
stupid toe, baggy purse f fell in front of me,
so all of my things just went like and then
so I was like, Okay, I don't really live here,
so I'm gonna survive this.

Speaker 2 (01:15:46):
I'll never see these people again.

Speaker 1 (01:15:49):
But The saddest part of it was an old lady
came and helped me up.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
And I was like, oh, honey, I gotta light.

Speaker 1 (01:15:56):
Honey, you did this to me so anyhows. But here's
the twist aroo these stairs. When you turn around to
come back up the stairs, it takes longer, sometimes two weeks.
She makes that's what this article said to get back

(01:16:19):
up the stairs. Now you don't know it at the time.
It's you're walking. You think, oh, that just took me
four seconds. Should have never gone down to the dark
stairs that I die where they go to.

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
Why did I do that to begin with?

Speaker 1 (01:16:29):
Then you come out and you're like two weeks later.
This impacts my life in a very minor way.

Speaker 2 (01:16:37):
I missed my favorite murder. It's about it. I didn't
put the garbage out. It's those two seats right there.
It's too empty, those empty seats.

Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
They're down just walking a place in the still cemetery stairs.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
Mury. God, damn that devil. Oh man, I love that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:58):
No one talking about going up down those stairs reports
that it is hot or anything. There's no hellish aspect
that I've read there.

Speaker 2 (01:17:06):
It might be in there. I haven't dug hard enough
to the stairs. Okay, go on, someone I don't know.
So these are apparently the stairs.

Speaker 1 (01:17:16):
The devil comes up out of every spring, equinox and
Halloween to visit his poor dead son.

Speaker 2 (01:17:23):
Who was the devil's wife. When did they have kids?

Speaker 1 (01:17:27):
I have so many more questions now that I'm done
reading the story.

Speaker 2 (01:17:31):
Not done, but okay.

Speaker 1 (01:17:34):
So the most widely accepted theory behind the origins of
Stole's evil reputation, this again, word for word from the
Weak and Weird, is tied to both a large tree
which once stood in the cemetery and an old tombstone.

Speaker 2 (01:17:48):
Oh there it is described with the word wi it.
So it's w I T T I c h.

Speaker 1 (01:17:57):
No, that's not a word, yeah from you I T
T I see. Okay, it's just lightly misspelled witch.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
I guess now that I look at it, it's not
that big of a deal. Now.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
The tree is said to be the hanging tree for
the condemned witches who were put to death there by
torch wielding townspeople. So like this, seven Amish people got together.
They're like you, you.

Speaker 2 (01:18:27):
You make candles. We don't like you. Handles are our thing.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
And then the tombstone with the word witch engraved on
it is another than Satan's son himself, who was legend says,
was born deformed and covered in wolf hair.

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
Hey, maybe that's just a dog. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:18:58):
So a couple of sad things that have happened in
Still and a round Stole. In the early nineteen hundreds,
a boy was accidentally burned to death by his own father.

Speaker 2 (01:19:06):
H a weird turn it could have been.

Speaker 1 (01:19:10):
Now, keep in mind, that could have been the devil
and his son, and that's why he's so sad visits
him so often. In the early nineteen hundreds, a local
man in Stole was reported missing, and he was later
found hanged from.

Speaker 2 (01:19:23):
That pine tree in the cemetery.

Speaker 1 (01:19:25):
And the old church install is believed to have been
built in eighteenth I bet, I said the eighteen sixty
seven cut and paste. But then in the early nineteen
hundreds it fell victim to a fire.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Okay, So here's some other things.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
One story tells of two young men her visiting Still
cemetery one night. They become frightened when a strong wind
begins blowing out of nowhere.

Speaker 2 (01:19:52):
It's called wind. Yeah, it's not how wind works, and
it doesn't start by going wind. Yeah, I'm like, any wait,
hold on, oh weira out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 (01:20:01):
I hear the cry of an owl, and that means
wind is coming. So they run back to their car,
only to find that it had been moved to the
other side of the highway and.

Speaker 2 (01:20:12):
Was now facing the opposite direction. That's creepy.

Speaker 1 (01:20:15):
That's something only the devil can do. He just plays
these practical jokes. Once he comes up those stairs, he's ready.

Speaker 2 (01:20:23):
To have some fun.

Speaker 1 (01:20:25):
He's been bummed out by the death and the family,
and now he's like, let's fuck with some people's cars.

Speaker 2 (01:20:31):
I'm the devil, okay.

Speaker 1 (01:20:34):
Another man claimed that about the same that same mischievous wind,
that he was in the church, and he said that
the wind came up, knocked him to the floor and
held him down on the floor for some time.

Speaker 2 (01:20:50):
Sometime he was a drunk. Oh okay, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:20:55):
Yeah, I don't want I was going to say that,
but I don't want to, like, well that was this.
Now every single time, maybe there's something spooky, I'll let
I'll let one of these things land.

Speaker 1 (01:21:04):
Okay, So you're gonna of all the things you could pick,
you're picking wind.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
Pinning a man to the ground. Okay, so that's your pick.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
There's no going back, okay, okay, all right, no matter
what I come up with later.

Speaker 2 (01:21:16):
Okay, Oh is there something good? No? Okay, No, I
love this like I would go to this.

Speaker 1 (01:21:27):
Oh, I mean in one second, but they don't want
people there, and I think it's.

Speaker 2 (01:21:31):
Very hard to find. Great let's go all right. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:21:36):
So this church, uh, it's been missing its roof since
the twenties, and they say anytime it rains, it never
rains into the church.

Speaker 2 (01:21:47):
They got a new roof, an invisible wonder woman roof.

Speaker 1 (01:21:51):
Yes, no water ever drops inside the square of the
inside church.

Speaker 2 (01:21:56):
Okay, not blowing your mind the way I wanted it to.
All right, alright, Oh my god. There it is that
people would.

Speaker 1 (01:22:04):
See this, see this firsthand with their eyeball a strong.
Visitors would report that the tiny church would stay bone
drying no matter what time of year or the weather conditions.

Speaker 3 (01:22:15):
That reminds me of like a depression commercial, like a
commercial for a pill for depression, when it's like the
little thing and it only rains on him and you're
all grown, all sad, and then he gets his pill
and he's happy again.

Speaker 2 (01:22:26):
What if the what if.

Speaker 1 (01:22:28):
The devil just looks like that little blue circle that
rolls around with depression?

Speaker 2 (01:22:32):
Yeah, for what's that for?

Speaker 3 (01:22:33):
Simbalta or something be simbalta some balta circle? Is that
a heart attack medicine?

Speaker 2 (01:22:38):
It could be. I don't know. I don't know. My
you guys know what I mean. So locked this bitch
nor fucking barma souda.

Speaker 1 (01:22:48):
Yeah, let's hear the well beautrin's in them.

Speaker 3 (01:22:58):
There's a wealthy should wrap here being like I can
write this, I can take it off, plea, just tick.

Speaker 2 (01:23:03):
It to my neighbor. Murder business expense go, They say.

Speaker 1 (01:23:07):
That, oh, supernatural attributes of the time. The town finally
gathered together to take this church apart because of all
these creepy things that were happening, and people seeing things
that were happening, and then people coming to look to
see if anything was happening, and they're like, fucking take
it down.

Speaker 2 (01:23:24):
Let's burn this church to the ground.

Speaker 1 (01:23:25):
But that destruction made the speed it's angry, and so
that's when the hauntings in the graveyard flared up.

Speaker 2 (01:23:34):
Why didn't they just put a fucking roof on the
goddamn church. Ooops, I probably shouldn't say goddamn church. I'm Jewish.
I'm Jewish. It doesn't matter, you know what. That can't
just be your past. I know I said about everything.
It's not I don't care, it's not real. Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:23:52):
Okay, they said that this is this is one that
you may have wished you'd picked.

Speaker 2 (01:23:57):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:23:57):
They say, before the church was demol if bottles were
thrown at the walls, they would not break.

Speaker 2 (01:24:03):
Who the fuck is throwing bottles at the wall.

Speaker 1 (01:24:05):
And also it's not scary, It's not like they're especially devilish.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
It's also like, I mean, like, I don't know, so
I have so many.

Speaker 3 (01:24:16):
Angry questions, and they say in me is like fucking
bubbling to the surface.

Speaker 1 (01:24:22):
Well, they say that if the bottle didn't break, you
were going to hell, and if it broke, you were
going to heaven.

Speaker 2 (01:24:28):
That's true. So then they all didn't break, So we're
all going to hell. I gotta gotta get to go,
but at least we'll be together.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
When Pope John Paul the Second visited Rocky Mountain National
Park in Colorado for World Youth Day in nineteen nine
and ninety three, Remember how fun that was? Who?

Speaker 2 (01:24:46):
Like? Who planned that? I was like, you know who
we should get for a World Youth Day? You know
who the kids love?

Speaker 1 (01:24:51):
The youngest man on the planet, Pope John Paul the Second.

Speaker 2 (01:24:55):
Let's get him out here for a World Youth Day.
He loves youth and of Christ.

Speaker 1 (01:25:01):
Uh. Okay, so, but they say there's a rumored you
know whatever that when he he is so scared of
stole that.

Speaker 2 (01:25:09):
He made his plane fly around the area on.

Speaker 1 (01:25:13):
His wind all right to Colorado, Okay, which is I
guess he's the pope and he has probably the most
power of any religious person.

Speaker 2 (01:25:21):
But do pilots take requests like that? I wonder, could
you go over to the left about seven thousand feet
for a little while? Devil? So stupid. Now I'm in
the middle of the stupidest one I've ever done. But
is it also the best? Or the best and the best? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:25:44):
Wait it was in Oh the urban legend would cite
a Time magazine article stating the Pope John Paula's Second
requested his flight his plan fly far around the section
of Kansas because, oh, because he didn't want to fly
over unholy ground.

Speaker 2 (01:26:00):
Mm.

Speaker 1 (01:26:00):
But it sounds like what they're saying here, Oh that
article never existed.

Speaker 2 (01:26:08):
This is a comedy podcast. We never promised you facts
I like. I like doing gossip more than facts. I
think it's just it's better. This is now a true
crime gossip podcast. Also, it says, you're the Pope's plane
was nowhere near Kansas during its life. They're not even
making me try to they say anything. They're gone themselves.

(01:26:31):
I don't hear it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:31):
The thing about Stoll is you just have to be
You have to believe no matter what I tell you,
no matter what happens. Okay, So when October thirtieth, nineteen
ninety eight, the pine tree that the hanging tree, remember
that was you do?

Speaker 2 (01:26:46):
Remember? Okay?

Speaker 1 (01:26:46):
Good?

Speaker 2 (01:26:47):
It was cut down? And then a man from the
Laurence Journal World quotes the effort is that the best
newspaper ever.

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
Okay, So whatever happens now has to be true because okay,
and it's it's wrong.

Speaker 2 (01:27:04):
It's your guy's fault because we believe you. What does
he say, Well, he quotes the official.

Speaker 1 (01:27:12):
He everyone says that they The rumor is that they
took the tree down because would witches would go dance
around it and do fucking witchy things and hold.

Speaker 2 (01:27:22):
Black masses and stuff like that. But Kendrick Blackwood of
the Lawrence Journal World.

Speaker 1 (01:27:27):
Quotes the official position of the town's citizens on that
that the tree had to be removed because it had died.

Speaker 2 (01:27:35):
Lawrence.

Speaker 1 (01:27:36):
But then it was buried in a grave with a
tombstone marked it, so now the tree is related to
the devil. On Halloween night nineteen ninety nine, reporters from
local newspapers and TV stations went to the cemetery to
join all of the onlookers because everyone was there to
see if the devil was.

Speaker 2 (01:27:55):
Going to walk up the stairs. That sounds like a
fucking party.

Speaker 3 (01:27:58):
I want to be there with a blueberry and a
fucking long island right.

Speaker 2 (01:28:03):
Boom boom, I'm seeing the devil. No, and then you
got to sneak up and you come out of the thing. Yeah,
the devil. How did you go down those I went
down three weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (01:28:14):
I was ready for this fucking master prank.

Speaker 2 (01:28:18):
Damn. So basically, they let people hang out.

Speaker 1 (01:28:25):
The sheriffs were there, but they were letting people hang
out up until eleven thirty, and then a man who
was the representative of the owners showed up and insisted
everyone leave, and so then the deputies had no choice
but to honor his wishes and make everybody.

Speaker 2 (01:28:40):
Including reporters leave. Well, he sounds like the fucking devil
party pooper. Oh that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:28:46):
Was his hair slicked back and he was wearing a
red velvet coat and a cap. That was the devil
posing as the landowner? You vools? Okay. In early two
thousand and two, a large crack also opened in one
of the stone walls after the church was struck by lightning. Wait,
I thought the church got taken apart. The fuck, it's
the new church. It's the new church.

Speaker 2 (01:29:07):
Never letting Steven write my thing again? Wait? What not? Really?
But kind of on should you punish for picking the
wrong things?

Speaker 3 (01:29:18):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:29:18):
Okay, I get it. It was, uh it was. It
was still up.

Speaker 1 (01:29:22):
Because then on Major, on March twenty nine, two thousand
and two, it was mysteriously torn down. This for real
this time, though, you guys, I'm serious. But the man
who owned the property now here it says that man
is named Major Weiss said he didn't authorize that demolition.

Speaker 3 (01:29:39):
Tay, do you think of there hasn't been ohthah, hasn't
been a church here in twenty five years.

Speaker 2 (01:29:46):
When you do that, that used to.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
Be more of an old miner, but I just turned
it into like Blanche from Golden Girls out there.

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
I don't know what I was doing. I had a
change and I just got excited. This just sounds like
a fuck an episode of Scooby Doo.

Speaker 1 (01:29:59):
This is is this Scooby Doobies story I've ever done?

Speaker 2 (01:30:03):
It really is. It really is. No mister so and
so it's the Devil.

Speaker 1 (01:30:08):
But I feel like now that I'm reading this out loud,
I feel like the key to story this story especially
and stories like this, is when you're reading it on
a website that has black background and the writing is green.

Speaker 2 (01:30:20):
Yeah, it only lives there once you pull it off
of that. It's all ruined.

Speaker 1 (01:30:25):
Because, like you know, at the banner top of almost
every website I've ever seen about the Still Cemetery, it's like.

Speaker 2 (01:30:31):
A dead tree and fog.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
But it's nighttime and when you're lashing creaking out, the
devil is on Earth. And now I'm saying it out loud,
and I sound like a big dumb ass. Uh, this
is super dumb. In twenty sixteen, an earthquake hit Kansas
that's true, a big one, right. So there was this

(01:30:55):
there was a picture that was going around on the
Internet that said this is Stole, like still the Devil
is storn torn, Stole apart or whatever, and it was
actually a picture from christ Church, New Zealand.

Speaker 2 (01:31:07):
When they had the earthquake and their roads were like
insanely torn up.

Speaker 1 (01:31:12):
So people were like, look it Stole did. Yeah, truly
the devil is with us now. No, okay, this is
the last and best. In twenty thirteen, Ariana Grande did
a show right here at this theater, on this stage
with this same audience. She did a concert stop here

(01:31:33):
at the Midland and then uh she they knew about
Stole already, so they decided they were all going to
drive there and they're big Mariana black SUVs, you know,
Ariana Grande, Ariana whatever. I find her to be very talented.
She's she's done it all. She's very very good at
what she does. When she hosted SNL, she was awesome.

(01:31:55):
So I just want that's I want to preclude everything
I'm about to say by saying that first. Howmever, howmever,
she has her bodyguards carry her around like a dog
and it's so funny.

Speaker 3 (01:32:08):
Maybe they want to do that. Maybe they're like, you're
so cute and tiny, can we carry you?

Speaker 2 (01:32:12):
Well, she's like, I don't care. I'm tired. I work
really hard, but that here's something I love.

Speaker 1 (01:32:20):
There's a guy that I follow that's super funny on Twitter, Jesse.
I believe his last name is McLaren. And he did
a thing where he tried to re enact Aria Grande's
album cover where he sits on a stool with his
feet tucked under, and he was like basically pretending to
start a thing saying this album cover is fake because
he couldn't sit on a stool like that. And then

(01:32:41):
it got around. It was like kind of became a
meme a little bit.

Speaker 2 (01:32:44):
And then she.

Speaker 1 (01:32:44):
Fucking sent him a picture of herself not being able
to sit on a stool, like she got in on
the party herself, girl, which makes me love her. How
you gotta do it so? And I also love her
because she went to the Still cemetery. So here's what
she said. Did they carry they carried her? She said,
I felt uh a sick, overwhelming feeling of negativity in

(01:33:05):
the whole car. Oh be like, that's your makeup artist. Dude,
she's a real bee.

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
She's nice to only you. Everyone else hates her. That's right.

Speaker 1 (01:33:17):
Uh she Ariana says, we smelled sulfur, which is the
sign of a demon.

Speaker 2 (01:33:21):
That's a fart. That's what a fart?

Speaker 3 (01:33:23):
Everyone, hi, but everything, say it again, but think of farting.

Speaker 2 (01:33:28):
From the beginning of the negative I felt.

Speaker 1 (01:33:30):
A sick, overwhelming feeling, negative negativity in the whole car.

Speaker 2 (01:33:34):
And then the next line, and then we smelled sulfur,
which is sorry, but that's a fucking fart.

Speaker 1 (01:33:40):
It's Sorriana, that's the sign of an internal intestinal demon debunked.

Speaker 2 (01:33:46):
You saw it here. I wonder if this also supports
your theory, she said.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
Then there was a fly in the car, also the
sign of a demon. There was a fly in the car, sudden,
a fly out of nowhere, a fly. You know, normally
you know flies are there, you see them, you feel them.

Speaker 2 (01:34:07):
Well, this one, this was a surprise fly.

Speaker 1 (01:34:11):
So they got so freaked out that there were two
signs of demons in the car when they got there
that she rolled down the window and said to the
still cemetery, we apologize.

Speaker 2 (01:34:21):
We didn't mean to disrupt your peace. And then she
took a picture.

Speaker 3 (01:34:28):
Fucking artists, man, and they're like feeling negativity and they're
fucking apologizing to spirits, and shit, what if I just
got struck by lighting right now fucking died?

Speaker 2 (01:34:38):
How funny with that?

Speaker 1 (01:34:39):
So awesome, so many pictures social media tomorrow. So she
takes a picture and then says there were three distinct faces,
and she said, quote their famo, their faces of textbook demons,
you know.

Speaker 2 (01:34:55):
And then when the.

Speaker 1 (01:34:56):
Interview that she was telling that, she was telling a
reporter about this, and the reporters, can I see the picture?
And she goes, I deleted it because I gave it
to my manager to upload and he couldn't upload it.

Speaker 2 (01:35:07):
And then when he checked, it had six hundred and
sixty six.

Speaker 1 (01:35:09):
Megabytes of information, so it was too the file was
too big, filled with demon faces.

Speaker 2 (01:35:19):
The demon was like, I'm gonna make this take up happier.
I'm started. I'm truly satan.

Speaker 1 (01:35:28):
And that is the worst retelling of the Still Cemetery.

Speaker 2 (01:35:32):
Everyboddy Well, look exemplary, look at this. Wow that was amazing.
Can you believe I settled this thing? You did all
those things, so many things you were here, you were there.
We all laughed.

Speaker 1 (01:35:48):
Now let's get to what everyone's been waiting for, which
is the hometown. So you see now the point here
is where we've cobbled together a live show with all
our favorite live show moments without having to have you
listen to three you just get best of. This is
a hometown that has gone down in the books. It's legendary.

Speaker 3 (01:36:09):
It's an example of what not what we everything. Remember
how we always go on stage and say, here are
the rules, and everyone's like, we know the rules, Well,
you don't listen to them sometimes, so we have to
actually tell you them every time.

Speaker 1 (01:36:21):
Yeah, and you're all responsible for other people in your
town as you as all murdering as well known because
after the first time we were like, yeah, we kind
of get heckled too much. And the next live show
we did, you could hear people just going like, we
don't want to be that policing. Yeah, totally self policing,
which is so such a murdering no quality that I adore.

(01:36:43):
It's just like nobody's going to be that person ever,
and they want to allow you.

Speaker 2 (01:36:47):
It's incredible work.

Speaker 1 (01:36:49):
So this was absolutely an anomaly someone snuck through.

Speaker 2 (01:36:55):
It was my turn to pick. It was all on me.
I was picking at the time, and it's always on you.
Of course, I always put it on you.

Speaker 3 (01:37:01):
But this girl seemed really enthusiastic, and she was really
close to the stage, which is helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:37:06):
We were in DC, right.

Speaker 1 (01:37:08):
Yes, and this theater was very old fashioned. It looked
like a place where there would be a convention of
some kind where the there was almost like big huge
box seats set up on the side and then the
floor right. So she was on one of the boxes
on your side, right, and so she was close.

Speaker 2 (01:37:26):
Yeah, And as soon as she started running up, it
was o time and it continued to be on time.

Speaker 1 (01:37:31):
Enjoy this time with the in my opinion, greatest hometown
anyone's ever delivered. Do we have time for a Yeah,
let's do a hometown.

Speaker 2 (01:37:44):
Garbage? Oh what's that?

Speaker 3 (01:37:46):
Yo?

Speaker 1 (01:37:50):
Been?

Speaker 2 (01:37:50):
Saval? Been? Saval? Everybody who's this super hot history?

Speaker 3 (01:37:59):
Dad?

Speaker 2 (01:37:59):
Your talking about it here?

Speaker 1 (01:38:01):
Hey, listen, you don't listen to this podcast, so don't
worry about it, all right, tell them the rules, not
yet quick rules, and you know these rules, but I
have to say them anyway. First of all, we want
it to be a hometown murder.

Speaker 2 (01:38:16):
We would love it to be a Washington d C. Story.

Speaker 1 (01:38:19):
Please Maryland.

Speaker 2 (01:38:22):
Okay, if like it's really.

Speaker 1 (01:38:24):
Good, but but don't nowhere else.

Speaker 2 (01:38:27):
Virginia, Virginia, R dam. I'm sorry the one fucking time.
We'll let it slide.

Speaker 1 (01:38:37):
Seriously, don't get any ideas. No Baltimore shit, just kidding,
just kidding. That's like inside Baltimore comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:38:47):
You can't be so drunk.

Speaker 1 (01:38:48):
You can't tell your own story. It has to go
fast because everyone hates you for getting picked. Don't shout
out your friends because nobody cares. Not a good idea
to tell jokes. It's very nerve wracking to be up here.
But but just tell the story. This is a new
rule is don't make jokes. Uh sure, okay, can we

(01:39:11):
I'll pick Hi?

Speaker 2 (01:39:15):
Oh geor John? Do you want to put? You have
to go up there?

Speaker 1 (01:39:22):
Kay? There?

Speaker 2 (01:39:24):
Wait? She just screamed real loud.

Speaker 3 (01:39:26):
Though I guess I shouldn't have picked someone had a
full drink in their hand.

Speaker 1 (01:39:30):
Sorry we will Hi, you can bring the lights down.
It happened, so sorry, so sorry.

Speaker 2 (01:39:44):
Oh here we go.

Speaker 1 (01:39:48):
Hi.

Speaker 2 (01:39:49):
Oh Karen, what's your name? Mariah? Al Rya, Okay, that's
gonna be going. Hi Hi. My name's Mariah. Where are
you from.

Speaker 4 (01:40:06):
I'm from Nassas, Virginia.

Speaker 2 (01:40:12):
This is some crazy shit.

Speaker 1 (01:40:13):
Okay, okay, I know it's nerve wracking, Katie.

Speaker 2 (01:40:21):
I just get down here, please, Katie. If you get
down here, I will fucking strangle you. Over do it.
You got this. You don't need, Katie, you don't need anybody.
This is your story. I'm serious, this is everything. Okay.
I'm a restaurant manager. I just retired. I worked for

(01:40:43):
Navy Federal Credit Union. All of a sudden, I worked.
Shut up.

Speaker 4 (01:40:50):
I worked for Carabas Italian Grill.

Speaker 2 (01:40:53):
Oh yeah, plug Katie. We love it, baby, sister. Stay
out of this. Stay up to this, Katie. You think
you're better than we have time to shop? I kid
you not.

Speaker 4 (01:41:05):
Okay, Okay, I'm from Nassas. Yeah, but what's his name?

Speaker 2 (01:41:11):
Who? Oh? I was a candy striper?

Speaker 4 (01:41:16):
I was okay, John Wayne Bobbit, Yeah that was me. Wait,
you're just a little girl, John Wayne Bobbit. I love
your hair, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:41:30):
My good.

Speaker 1 (01:41:32):
We gotta focus, We gotta focus and tell the story.

Speaker 2 (01:41:35):
I can't believe I'm hair. I know me too, John
Wayne Bobbit, I know do it Nassas, Nassa. He got
his dick cut off. Everyone knows, they know. Okay, tell
your story. I was just a little girl in Nassas, Virginia.
I can't believe I'm here, No one can.

Speaker 3 (01:41:55):
Yeah, okay, your gasses, you got your candy striper and
I'm a candy striper.

Speaker 2 (01:42:04):
Okay, and it's around the corner. What the fuck go?
Manassas go? You got this? What do I say? I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:42:15):
Are you just telling the John Wayne that starting bobbit?

Speaker 2 (01:42:18):
Yeah, I couldn't do.

Speaker 1 (01:42:30):
Yeah, that's the best one.

Speaker 2 (01:42:36):
That's the best one. That's that's the best one we've
ever had. That's the best one we've ever had. Okay,
Oh no, no, no, no, no, sit down, no no.
That was your hometown. You got it. That was it.

Speaker 1 (01:42:57):
It was John Wayne Bobbitt and we all had a
moment together that was beautiful. It was everything we love
and listen, I feel.

Speaker 2 (01:43:07):
Like with John went Bob that it wasn't gonna be
a huge payoffer. It's a fucking we all know the story,
so it's not a murder. All right, Hey, we did
did it. Good for her, she did it. She did it. Stephen,
are you going.

Speaker 1 (01:43:24):
To leave in the part where everyone says pick another
one and I say no to that. The whole experience
just making sure because I know it's something that's wrong
with me and a bad thing about me. But there's
moments like that are my absolute favorite, where that audience
was just like, get.

Speaker 2 (01:43:45):
Rid of her.

Speaker 1 (01:43:45):
We're doing this again, and it's like you're no, you're not.
I get to say, this is our you don't run
this channel.

Speaker 2 (01:43:52):
You don't run this channel. You don't.

Speaker 1 (01:43:53):
Yeah, So we were basically like and also because that
same night, that audience didn't get ripped off because then
after all that was over, just as a backup, FYI,
we read from the book.

Speaker 2 (01:44:04):
I remember. Oh that's right.

Speaker 1 (01:44:06):
We read from the book. So that was we were
just like, okay, move.

Speaker 3 (01:44:09):
In, and we read a chapter from Stay Sexy and
Don't Get Murdered, which hadn't come out yet and we
were recording it for the audiobook. So the live episode
that we if you listen to the audiobook, there's a couple.

Speaker 2 (01:44:20):
Live readings and that's one of them. That's right, I
forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (01:44:23):
All right, awesome, let's do some fucking horahs then let's
do it.

Speaker 3 (01:44:26):
Go ahead, Okay, this is from Heidi joy Wind on Instagram.

Speaker 2 (01:44:31):
My fucking hurrah.

Speaker 3 (01:44:33):
Yesterday, my fifteen year old and I had a one
hour car ride together, just the two of us.

Speaker 2 (01:44:38):
Been a while. He decided to DJ the event, and
what followed was an hour of us singing at the
top of our lungs Paul Simon CSNY York, Peter Gabriel
and the Gorillas. Both of us had goosebumps and were
near tiers. Several times.

Speaker 3 (01:44:52):
I had this overwhelming feeling that I had done my
job as a mama well, that he would be okay,
and that I couldn't feel more love for him or
the life he has ahead of him. Oh, teenagers, they're
so hard. That's great, That's very sweet. Okay, Well, then
this one. I'll read this one. It's kind of coming
another direction. Okay, this is my teenager?

Speaker 2 (01:45:14):
Is that what it's? Where do I drop this one off?

Speaker 1 (01:45:19):
This is from someone named Alyssa and they say fucking horay.

Speaker 2 (01:45:24):
My stepdad adopted me last month.

Speaker 1 (01:45:27):
He's the most wonderful man to my mom, walked me
down the aisle at my wedding, and he's loved me
unconditionally since he and my mom got married over ten
years ago.

Speaker 2 (01:45:34):
I'm an adult and.

Speaker 1 (01:45:35):
Married, so this really is only symbolic, but I got
a new birth certificate and a new maiden name.

Speaker 2 (01:45:41):
Without going into too.

Speaker 1 (01:45:42):
Much detail, my biological father is trash and I don't
wish to be associated.

Speaker 2 (01:45:47):
With him, and we haven't spoken many years.

Speaker 1 (01:45:49):
I was worried COVID would delay what I've waited for
for so long, but via zoom in a lawyer's office,
it was made official and I couldn't be happier. My
new birth certificate arrived and I've never felt more free.
Much love to my murder girls.

Speaker 2 (01:46:03):
Love Alyssa. That is so beautiful.

Speaker 1 (01:46:06):
I've seen a couple those where it's either like, you know,
adults or teenagers right present that to their stepfather. The
ones I've seen are stepfathers, and it is the cutest,
like they immediately.

Speaker 2 (01:46:20):
Burst into tears and like, oh, it's so lovely. I
love that.

Speaker 3 (01:46:24):
And I think symbolic acts of like stuff like that
is so important too, because even though because guy doesn't
mean anything, yeah, but it's been something to you and
you're able to move on from this past that you
don't want.

Speaker 1 (01:46:37):
And it's also that thing of I think that stepparent
thing where it's like, whatever stepparent you might be, that
you're always kind of this outsider, an enriter, And so
how much that would mean to the parent who parented
you know, as as she said as Alyssa said, like
parented her for really her actual life was her real father.

Speaker 2 (01:46:56):
Like that's beautiful, that's weird. I love it.

Speaker 3 (01:46:58):
Okay, My last one's from Morgie underscore why my fucking
horay is that I just finished as a marine animal
Rehabilitation and environmental education intern at the National Marine Life Center,
And before I left, we released four harbor seal pups
back into the ocean. They were separated from their moms

(01:47:19):
due to human interaction, and it was one of the
most fulfilling things to see them successfully rehabilitated and going back.

Speaker 2 (01:47:25):
To their homes. Oh beautiful, that's so good. Did you
see the.

Speaker 1 (01:47:30):
Story of the man who punched the Great White shark? Yes,
because he was attacking his wife. I saw it on
the Bananas Instagram feed. Actually, okay, here's my last one.
And actually I found this one. This one's from an
older set of these and I lost it because I
printed them all up and lost it and have been
looking for.

Speaker 2 (01:47:48):
It and I finally found it.

Speaker 1 (01:47:50):
This is from Control Shift tabs. My fucking ray is
that today is my brother's birthday and we're all quarantined
together in our child at home. The big dupe is,
when asked what he wants for the Big two seven dinner, goes,
I don't know, tacos, probably thinking that of supporting a
local business or the nearby taco bell. He forgets that

(01:48:12):
I'm furloughed, anxious and that my motto is cooking is
cheaper than therapy. Boy. Is he getting a full taco
bar in our kitchen tonight and a cake delivered by
a friend who is a supermarket worker and will get
us an ice cream cake same day.

Speaker 2 (01:48:27):
Fucking HOORAYI taco night.

Speaker 1 (01:48:32):
I mean, I know there's lots of people with nightmare stories,
but I do love that idea of people just everybody
going back to their parents' house or apartment, yeah or
whatever and just having to go be with their siblings again.

Speaker 3 (01:48:45):
But spend time with people that you would have never
had a chance to spend as much time with again
in your life.

Speaker 2 (01:48:50):
Probably you know, it's like.

Speaker 1 (01:48:52):
Well and play some Uno, get in there, play.

Speaker 3 (01:48:55):
Some Uno, do a puzzle, eat some tacos. I mean,
have an ice cream cake.

Speaker 2 (01:49:00):
Want more delivered?

Speaker 1 (01:49:01):
Pull your pull that those strings that you have in
your town, use that juice, get some cakes delivered.

Speaker 3 (01:49:06):
I love that she's like ice cream cakes, same day,
same day, ba day.

Speaker 2 (01:49:11):
I've got fucking connection. What are you? What are you
the mayor of your town? You lucky deck? Well everybody, Yeah,
I don't. Yeah, send us your fucking arraise wherever you
feel like it. Yeah, are we the littlest things? Little things?

Speaker 1 (01:49:29):
Doing a taco bar for your brother is a beautiful gesture.
Do you need to hear about it?

Speaker 2 (01:49:33):
Totally?

Speaker 3 (01:49:33):
Things that are bringing you joy and bring any things
you're doing to bring other people joy.

Speaker 2 (01:49:37):
You can brag about yourself any of that.

Speaker 1 (01:49:39):
And of course any story about your grandma is welcome,
and that's right, always anything, always all right. Well, uh,
I think that's it for this week.

Speaker 2 (01:49:48):
Yeah, I think so. We We literally quilted something together
for you.

Speaker 3 (01:49:53):
It's beautiful. It's a beautiful quilt. It'll be for saying
on my favorite murder store.

Speaker 2 (01:50:00):
Fucking on a quilt.

Speaker 1 (01:50:01):
Start selling shitty quilts and say fuck you, I'm a
quilt across it.

Speaker 2 (01:50:07):
What else do we have to do We're quite all right,
stay sexy and don't get murdered. Good Bye, bye Elvis.
Do you want a cookie? Okay,