March 20, 2023 • 20 mins
This week’s hometowns include racing the garage door and a sibling redemption story.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:06):
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite writer.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
This is the minisode. That's right. How many times can
I explain this to you?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's so easy. We beat emails. If everyone does it,
we do it.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Too out loud. It's great. Should I go first this time? Yeah,
go for it.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Okay, Mine's a real hometown. It just starts Hei. I'm
going to skip the pleasantries, but just know I love y'all.
I sent this story before, but I think I hope
this will be the last time I have to send
it lowl because I'm a massive procrastinator and have been
meaning to write this since literally twenty seventeen. I present
to you today a relic aka a classic hometown nice.
(00:53):
This story starts when I was in eighth grade and
twenty thirteen in a town located between Dallas and.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Fort Worth, Texas.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I was at school one day when suddenly the principal
announced on the intercom that we were in full lockdown,
repeating this is not a drill. Surrounded by terrified preteens.
I wondered what dramatic shit was going on to put
the whole school on lockdown. While I found out afterwards
the dumpster fire of a story that went down. A
prisoner was being transported from Miami to Nevada and had
(01:21):
escaped the car where he was being watched by two detectives.
The car had stopped at a Walmart in Grapevine, the
one my family went to every week for groceries, and
they were waiting on a third officer to assist with
the transfer. Without anyone noticing, the prisoner took out a
broken and sharpened piece of his own eyeglasses and stabbed
one of the guards with it. Before I go on,
(01:43):
I'll tell you now that fortunately the officer survived with
shackles still on.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
He then made his escape.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Somehow he was able to evade the police for four
days and tell a homeowner in Grapevine, which is literally
five minutes from my house, called the cops to report
that his house had been broken into. When the officer
arrived on the scene, they realized that this man was
the glasses wielding criminal that they had been looking for.
He was uncooperative and attempted to lunge at the officers.
They then had no choice but to shoot him. They
(02:10):
then had no choice but to shoot him dead. Although
I generally wouldn't cheer for death, this man was a monster.
He was incarcerated for sexual assault, and now he had
nearly killed an officer. The whole ordeal was so insane
I actually had to look it up to confirm that
it wasn't some sort of fever dream. The violence in
terror to a whole town caused by this ass hat
finally caught up to him. Anyways, thanks for letting me
(02:31):
share my story, SSDGM Maddie.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
She her God.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
The idea of an escaped like sexual predator is very
scary in a small town. That's horrifying. Yeah, well, sexual
predator and a murderer. Yeah, this is also what you
would call a classic hometown. Now that I think about it,
I'm not going to read you the subject line.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It just starts.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I am not even going to rewrite this story because
whoever wrote this entry for the Seattle Police Department Blodder
a Pulitzer Prize winning job. In February twenty twenty one,
I was looking at the Blotterer to find out what
some sirens nearby were about when I came across the
story about a crafty lady shopping at a thrift store.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Here's the rest quote.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So this, I guess, is from the Seattle Police Department
Crime Blodder LVA quote. Around three thirty PM, a woman
purchased a kit to crochet animal hats at a business
within the sixty four hundred block of Eighth Avenue Northwest.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
When she opened the.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Kit, there was a suspicious, heavy item encased in yellow rubber,
giving off an odd odor, with one hundred percent written
on the outside. The woman immediately called nine one one.
Officers responded and took possession of the suspicious package. Police
later confirmed the substance to be a kilogram of cocaine.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh, one hundred percent holy shit.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
The package was placed into evidence. End quote. I think
about this story often. The detail about the animal hats
tickles me. Are they hats four animals or hats with
animal designs? Stay sexy and keep crocheting animal hats?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Emuna? Wow? Pretty good?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah? Wow. Someone's grandma found a lot of cocaine. She
could have made a lot of money off that. If
there really was one hundred percent, you.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Know, high grade, she could have cut that shit with
baby laxative and just sailed into the sunset of her
That's right.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Put her with their animal hats on or her hats
on her animals.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
We don't really know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She could actually single handedly mass produce animal hats from
there on out.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
If she had done it, she could retire on that shit. Okay,
she didn't.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
They lived series A garage door story. Oh thank you
for your words and funny antics. As I drive to
one from the school where I teach disrespectful high schoolers
all day, I was recently listening to Mini So two
fifty two. Yes I am behind. I am one of
those late comers who's been catching up diligently from episode one.
One of the stories you read discussed someone getting crushed
(05:06):
by the garage door, and this finally gave me something
to write in about. Yes, I lived after being crushed
by the garage door. I was in middle school, maybe
sixth or seventh grade, and my twin sister and I
would ride our bikes to school.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Each morning.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
We would walk the bikes out of the garage and
set them in the driveway. One of us would then
walk back out to the garage to press the button
to close the door. Unlike smart children who would maybe
walk back through the house and next at the front door,
we on a daily basis would race out of the
garage door before it closed. I want to say something
that's not for kids to decide. That's like something your
(05:40):
parents should have forced you to do, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Have some sort of say on. Although I have to
say that's how we did it too.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Absolutely every kid did that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
But there's some garage doors that if you if you
pass by that like laser, it'll stop, so you can't.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I feel like old garage doors don't didn't have that though,
right right?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I think?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
So?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Okay never failed us until one day it was my
turn to press the button and run. One morning, I
pressed the button and began to race against the door
when something caught my attention and I very quickly turned
around to look at it. I still to this day
have no idea what distracted me, because nothing was there
or out of sorts, But those few what felt like
milliseconds cost me precious moments. As I ducked under the
(06:22):
garage door, it caught the top of my backpack and
pulled me back to the ground. Now, imagine the position
you have to sit in to do the V sit
and reach for the Presidential Fitness Test in PE class.
No legs flat on the ground, straight out in front
of you, and you are folding yourself in half forward
to try and reach those toes. That's what I look like.
(06:42):
But a large mechanical door was pushing my neck to
the ground so that she was being folded in half. No, thankfully,
this door had sensors poor probably the first edition of sensors,
so that helped. I also heard my sister screaming, and
she pulled the door up in a feeble attempt to
free me. Maybe it was the censors or maybe her
(07:03):
free fish middle school strength, but the door started to rise.
My sleep derived delirious father, who just got off his
night shift job, was mildly concerned and sent us off
to school. Anyways, I was shaking from the experience and
cried the whole bike ride of school that morning. The
day went as normal until I got home that evening
and I was standing in front of my mother talking
to her. She asked, why are you standing sideways like
(07:26):
you're leading to the right. I looked in a mirror
and noticed I was from the waist up leaving to
the right and had no idea. I know. Thanks to
a fe chiropractor appointments later, I was good as new. However,
we never stopped racing the garage door until our parents
got a button installed on the outside so this wouldn't
happen again. Stay sexy and get more flexible so the
(07:46):
garage door doesn't mess you up as bad next time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Patty.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
That's right, Patty, that's the perfect gen X response, which
is it's my fault.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
I need to improve somehow.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Also, the idea that this girl got smashed in half
by a garage door, her sister pulled the door up,
that she escaped, and the dad's like, get on your
bike and ride yourself to school.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Go to school. Yeah, I need to sleep.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
What did it take in the seventies and eighties for
parents to intervene in their children's fucking daily life.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
They had to do something bad and then somehow the
parents were paying attention.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah you know what I mean exactly, Or you had
to have like bone showing.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, you had to have your skeleton on the outside
before they were like, you know what, this is important?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I better I.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Better drive these And then it's what did you do? Yes,
if you're going to raise the door, then you need
to be fast. Yeah and flexible.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
The subject line of this is the time I stopped
in art heist sort of Hey, y'all, let's get to it.
This story happened early last year as I started a
new job and an art gallery. Keep in mind, this
is a regional gallery. It's big in the area, and
we do a lot of high standard exhibitions, but we
are by no means at a national standard. No pacasas
or monaise here. So I'm working on the desk one
(09:04):
quiet afternoon and I see this shady old guy has
walked past our staff entrance multiple times. On the security cameras,
we watch him take a small metal object that looks
like a watch battery out of his pocket, pull out
a tube of glue and glue it onto the wall
above the staff card swiper thing to get into the building,
obviously red flags all around. Then he moves toward the
(09:27):
front of the building and starts to glue more things
to the building. It's go time. I'm on it. I
run out the staff door and head out and use
my best no I'm the boss here voice and ask
him can I help you? Mate? Quick note in Australia,
people often use mate in situations that someone's doing the
wrong thing or all around being.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
A fuck with.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
He tells me he works with our security company, and
he's just installing some new hardware, says the old guy
wearing footy shorts and thongs and as a high viz
workshirt that's and covered in Greece on a Sunday afternoon
with no notice, and then in all caps it says,
not today a thief. I asked for his ID and
he tells me he doesn't have his work ID with him,
(10:11):
So I asked for his driver's license and I take
it off him while he looks totally perplexed by me.
The name he gave me didn't match the name on
his license. I walk back to the desk, scan and
copy his license and tell my coworker to call security.
I've done it. I've saved the gallery and caught the guy.
I have his real name and walked him to a
spot so we would have a perfect shot of him
(10:32):
in our security cameras. That'll probably promote me, definitely give
me a raise. But as it would turn out, Rex
didn't just work for the security company, he owned it.
When we called security, they told us the owner was
in the area and had patched us through to his mobile.
He had just been in town to grab a few
things from a shop across the road and thought he
(10:54):
would install the new censors while he was man. Everyone
called him Rex, but wasn't his legal name not the
unusual here?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
To be honest, was this super embarrassing? Yes?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
He did, however, tell me that if I ever wanted
a job in security, he could use someone as thorough
as me. Yeah, stay sexy and always be ready for
go time capital G capital T Maddie.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
She heard, Maddie, I think I think you're on in
the right ear like entirely.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Hey, Look, if that's your job, you do your job,
you give no one the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Absolutely, I love it. It's art. You can't have the
art stolen.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
No, my lessons called mom prank gone wrong because you asked,
Dear MFM. I've submitted this story before, but now that
you've deliberately asked for prank's gone wrong, I'm going to
try again.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You went out of your way to ask for pranks,
says in italics, deliberately.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Years ago, and my sons were about seven and eleven,
we went through a weird family phase of loving to
scare each other. We were always hiding behind doors and
around corners to jump out and scream in each other's faces.
That's I don't know how people live like that.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I don't. I don't understand. You just kind of get
you have to.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Get high off of it because that's your coping mechanism
from just having to live in that kind of shock.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
All that got it. The closer we all came to
heart attacks, the better. One day, my husband and I
hatched a plan to scare my eleven year old Charlie.
I was going to hide in his bedroom closet while
he was brushing his teeth before bed, and my husband
would somehow get him to open the closet door and
then I'd jump out, it says, trust me.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I know it sounds horrible. Now. I don't think it's
fair for the parents to like scheme together, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Although if that's the understanding in the family, then it's
not as weird as like us coming in being like
my mother would never jump up at all, much less.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Jump out of a closet. Right, It's like they're used
to it, Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
I quietly slipped into the closet, crouched down, and peeked
out through the slats in the closet door. I waited
and waited and waited. As many times as my husband
tried to get Charlie to open the closet, all his
efforts were too subtle and totally futile. Eventually, my darling
husband just shrugged and said okay, good night, left the room,
closed the door, and all caps turned off the lights,
(13:13):
with me still hiding in the closet. The prank had
suddenly taken a very dark turn, and panic said it yes.
After silently cursing my husband, I figured there was only
one way out through the slats. As I saw Charlie
reach for a book on his bedside table, I attempted
the most gentle boo as I slowly slid his closet
door open.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Since friends, he lost it.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
What I thought was a book in his hand was
actually a picture frame that was ultimately strown to the
floor in a panic smashing. He fell to the ground
in terror, rolling around in the broken glass, crying and
screaming and coating his pajamas with broken glass.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
After cleaning him up.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
And calming him down, I cuddled with him on his bed,
held a cool cloth to his forehead and apologize a
thousand times over. I looked him in the eyes and said,
I know you don't believe me now, but I promise
you that one day we will laugh about this. I
can't say that I haven't traumatized him for life, but
Charlie is almost twenty years old and we laugh about
this all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
He's still talking to you. Yeah, yeah, he.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Has long forgiven me. Have I forgiven my husband for
stoining me in the closet?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Hell no, no, stay sexy and stay out of your
kid's closet. After Dark Jay from Toronto, so evil.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
It truly went wrong. It's just, you know what, it's
a good thing to consider. It's like you have the
best intentions when you're doing your fun prank on a child.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
What if it doesn't go the way you sue?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Oh hard boo, real quick, boo boo.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Do you have one more? Yes? I do. I'm not
going to read you the subject line.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
It just starts, Hey, friend a Reno's I have a
secondhand story for you today. So for the sake of anonymity,
I've changed the names here. It goes in high school.
My older sister was somewhat of a delinquent. She sold drugs,
mainly marijuana, for some extra cash and rolled with a
crew of dudes from another local high school. She partied
a lot and even moved out at one point during
(15:19):
her senior year with said group of equally rebellious dudes.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
She was rock and roll. She sounds fun.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Here's to hardcore older sisters who were just trying to
get through teenhood in the late aughts. Any who's There
was another drug dealer in our town who rolled with
a different group of people who was notorious for being
a scammer. We'll call him Jack, think ripping people off
with astronomically high prices, selling unknowing teens or regno instead
of weed and the like. One time, Jack hit up
(15:49):
my sister to sell him an ounce of weed. They
met up in the park late one night with their
respective crews. Jack paid my sister eighty dollars in cash
for the weed and they each went on their merry ways.
The next day, went a Safeway, and if she was
checking out, she tried to pay for her items with
the cash from the drug deal The store clerk conformed
her that they were counterfeit bills and wouldn't let her
(16:09):
check out. She tried the cash at Starbucks instead, but
she received the same response, and then in parentheses it says,
shout out to my sister for trying to make lemonade
and scam the big corporations.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I guess.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Once she deemed that the bills were useless, she messaged Jack,
telling him something along the lines of give me my
actual money or my boys will come and fuck you up. Clearly,
she got the audacious gene. Eventually, after some back and forth,
Jack agreed to meet her at a coffee shop in
broad daylight to give her the money. The time and
place seemed odd to my sister, but since it was
(16:43):
just a cash exchange, she went ahead and decided to
meet him there, only arriving at the coffee shop to
find that he was AOL. As she was about to
go on another texting rampage, someone abruptly tapped her on
the shoulder. She turned around to see a little old
lady who asked her, are you here for Jack. Startled,
she replied yes. The old woman explained she was Jack's
(17:03):
grandmother and would be giving my sister the money, but
not before she gave her a little talking to. Awkwardly,
the old woman sat my sister down and told her,
I know what you're doing and what you're doing is shit.
She went on to tell her that she had been
a teacher of thirty years and hated to see young
people waste their potential selling drugs. She told her she
could turn out like one of her star students if
(17:25):
she'd just stopped being a drug dealer. My sister sat there,
stunned after receiving this unexpected slap on the wrist from
Jack's grandmother. The woman then pulled out her checkbook, wrote
my sister a check for eighty dollars, and left the
table without saying a word.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Thankfully the check was authentic and my sister got her payment.
Of course, my sister had a zillion questions running through
her head, namely, why would such a disapproving grandma still
pay off her grandson's drug debt. Regardless, everything worked out
in the end, and my sister knew not to sell
or buy from Jack anymore. And maybe something Jack's grandmother
told my sister that stuck with her, because my sister
(18:02):
cleaned up her act in the years that followed and
is now a sober software developer making six figures. I
am super fucking proud of my big siss And maybe
if it wouldn't have been for that counterfeit drug deal
and that chance grandma encounter, things would have turned out differently, right, Yes, anyway,
hope you like my story and thank you for everything
(18:22):
you do. I've been listening to the pod since twenty seventeen,
and you guys are my best ease. And then there's
five s's and less than with a three which looks
like a heart.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Love you all, xoxos.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Oh my god, it just shows you that like that
was a stranger, she didn't have to take the time
to talk to her, Nope, but she knew that there
was potential there.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Oh my god. She told her like, you could do
whatever you want. I can tell I'm a teacher.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, and maybe it really did ring a little bell
inside of that drug dealing girls.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh my god, amazing it worked. I love that story.
I know right, Yes, send us your redemption stories. Let's
have redemption stories. Let's have older sister redemption story. Ask
or older sibling that. Let's have the sibling black sheep
redemption story.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I'm one right same, I was the black sheep until
literally seven years ago when we started this podcast.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It's great, it's a great story arc.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
And now We're like top of the your top of
the Kilgarrat pack.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
On top of the hard Stark pack.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Come on, there's nothing like the black sheep turning it
all around.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Send us in My Favorite Murder at Gmail and stay
sexy and don't get murdered. Gave bye, Elvis, Do you
want a cookie?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton. Our producers all
this episode.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Our researchers are Mareon mcclashen and Sarah Blair Jenkins.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Email your hometowns and fucking horays to my Favorite Murder
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Gybye
Love, Hello, and welcome to my favorite writer.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
This is the minisode. That's right. How many times can
I explain this to you?
Speaker 3 (00:23):
It's so easy. We beat emails. If everyone does it,
we do it.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Too out loud. It's great. Should I go first this time? Yeah,
go for it.
Speaker 4 (00:30):
Okay, Mine's a real hometown. It just starts Hei. I'm
going to skip the pleasantries, but just know I love y'all.
I sent this story before, but I think I hope
this will be the last time I have to send
it lowl because I'm a massive procrastinator and have been
meaning to write this since literally twenty seventeen. I present
to you today a relic aka a classic hometown nice.
(00:53):
This story starts when I was in eighth grade and
twenty thirteen in a town located between Dallas and.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Fort Worth, Texas.
Speaker 4 (01:00):
I was at school one day when suddenly the principal
announced on the intercom that we were in full lockdown,
repeating this is not a drill. Surrounded by terrified preteens.
I wondered what dramatic shit was going on to put
the whole school on lockdown. While I found out afterwards
the dumpster fire of a story that went down. A
prisoner was being transported from Miami to Nevada and had
(01:21):
escaped the car where he was being watched by two detectives.
The car had stopped at a Walmart in Grapevine, the
one my family went to every week for groceries, and
they were waiting on a third officer to assist with
the transfer. Without anyone noticing, the prisoner took out a
broken and sharpened piece of his own eyeglasses and stabbed
one of the guards with it. Before I go on,
(01:43):
I'll tell you now that fortunately the officer survived with
shackles still on.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
He then made his escape.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Somehow he was able to evade the police for four
days and tell a homeowner in Grapevine, which is literally
five minutes from my house, called the cops to report
that his house had been broken into. When the officer
arrived on the scene, they realized that this man was
the glasses wielding criminal that they had been looking for.
He was uncooperative and attempted to lunge at the officers.
They then had no choice but to shoot him. They
(02:10):
then had no choice but to shoot him dead. Although
I generally wouldn't cheer for death, this man was a monster.
He was incarcerated for sexual assault, and now he had
nearly killed an officer. The whole ordeal was so insane
I actually had to look it up to confirm that
it wasn't some sort of fever dream. The violence in
terror to a whole town caused by this ass hat
finally caught up to him. Anyways, thanks for letting me
(02:31):
share my story, SSDGM Maddie.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
She her God.
Speaker 3 (02:35):
The idea of an escaped like sexual predator is very
scary in a small town. That's horrifying. Yeah, well, sexual
predator and a murderer. Yeah, this is also what you
would call a classic hometown. Now that I think about it,
I'm not going to read you the subject line.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It just starts.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I am not even going to rewrite this story because
whoever wrote this entry for the Seattle Police Department Blodder
a Pulitzer Prize winning job. In February twenty twenty one,
I was looking at the Blotterer to find out what
some sirens nearby were about when I came across the
story about a crafty lady shopping at a thrift store.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Here's the rest quote.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
So this, I guess, is from the Seattle Police Department
Crime Blodder LVA quote. Around three thirty PM, a woman
purchased a kit to crochet animal hats at a business
within the sixty four hundred block of Eighth Avenue Northwest.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
When she opened the.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Kit, there was a suspicious, heavy item encased in yellow rubber,
giving off an odd odor, with one hundred percent written
on the outside. The woman immediately called nine one one.
Officers responded and took possession of the suspicious package. Police
later confirmed the substance to be a kilogram of cocaine.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Oh, one hundred percent holy shit.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
The package was placed into evidence. End quote. I think
about this story often. The detail about the animal hats
tickles me. Are they hats four animals or hats with
animal designs? Stay sexy and keep crocheting animal hats?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Emuna? Wow? Pretty good?
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah? Wow. Someone's grandma found a lot of cocaine. She
could have made a lot of money off that. If
there really was one hundred percent, you.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
Know, high grade, she could have cut that shit with
baby laxative and just sailed into the sunset of her
That's right.
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Put her with their animal hats on or her hats
on her animals.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
We don't really know.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
She could actually single handedly mass produce animal hats from
there on out.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
If she had done it, she could retire on that shit. Okay,
she didn't.
Speaker 4 (04:44):
They lived series A garage door story. Oh thank you
for your words and funny antics. As I drive to
one from the school where I teach disrespectful high schoolers
all day, I was recently listening to Mini So two
fifty two. Yes I am behind. I am one of
those late comers who's been catching up diligently from episode one.
One of the stories you read discussed someone getting crushed
(05:06):
by the garage door, and this finally gave me something
to write in about. Yes, I lived after being crushed
by the garage door. I was in middle school, maybe
sixth or seventh grade, and my twin sister and I
would ride our bikes to school.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Each morning.
Speaker 4 (05:20):
We would walk the bikes out of the garage and
set them in the driveway. One of us would then
walk back out to the garage to press the button
to close the door. Unlike smart children who would maybe
walk back through the house and next at the front door,
we on a daily basis would race out of the
garage door before it closed. I want to say something
that's not for kids to decide. That's like something your
(05:40):
parents should have forced you to do, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
Have some sort of say on. Although I have to
say that's how we did it too.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Absolutely every kid did that. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
But there's some garage doors that if you if you
pass by that like laser, it'll stop, so you can't.
Speaker 4 (05:55):
I feel like old garage doors don't didn't have that though,
right right?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I think?
Speaker 3 (05:59):
So?
Speaker 4 (05:59):
Okay never failed us until one day it was my
turn to press the button and run. One morning, I
pressed the button and began to race against the door
when something caught my attention and I very quickly turned
around to look at it. I still to this day
have no idea what distracted me, because nothing was there
or out of sorts, But those few what felt like
milliseconds cost me precious moments. As I ducked under the
(06:22):
garage door, it caught the top of my backpack and
pulled me back to the ground. Now, imagine the position
you have to sit in to do the V sit
and reach for the Presidential Fitness Test in PE class.
No legs flat on the ground, straight out in front
of you, and you are folding yourself in half forward
to try and reach those toes. That's what I look like.
(06:42):
But a large mechanical door was pushing my neck to
the ground so that she was being folded in half. No, thankfully,
this door had sensors poor probably the first edition of sensors,
so that helped. I also heard my sister screaming, and
she pulled the door up in a feeble attempt to
free me. Maybe it was the censors or maybe her
(07:03):
free fish middle school strength, but the door started to rise.
My sleep derived delirious father, who just got off his
night shift job, was mildly concerned and sent us off
to school. Anyways, I was shaking from the experience and
cried the whole bike ride of school that morning. The
day went as normal until I got home that evening
and I was standing in front of my mother talking
to her. She asked, why are you standing sideways like
(07:26):
you're leading to the right. I looked in a mirror
and noticed I was from the waist up leaving to
the right and had no idea. I know. Thanks to
a fe chiropractor appointments later, I was good as new. However,
we never stopped racing the garage door until our parents
got a button installed on the outside so this wouldn't
happen again. Stay sexy and get more flexible so the
(07:46):
garage door doesn't mess you up as bad next time.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Patty.
Speaker 3 (07:50):
That's right, Patty, that's the perfect gen X response, which
is it's my fault.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
I need to improve somehow.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
Also, the idea that this girl got smashed in half
by a garage door, her sister pulled the door up,
that she escaped, and the dad's like, get on your
bike and ride yourself to school.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Go to school. Yeah, I need to sleep.
Speaker 3 (08:11):
What did it take in the seventies and eighties for
parents to intervene in their children's fucking daily life.
Speaker 4 (08:19):
They had to do something bad and then somehow the
parents were paying attention.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah you know what I mean exactly, Or you had
to have like bone showing.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
Yeah, you had to have your skeleton on the outside
before they were like, you know what, this is important?
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I better I.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Better drive these And then it's what did you do? Yes,
if you're going to raise the door, then you need
to be fast. Yeah and flexible.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:42):
The subject line of this is the time I stopped
in art heist sort of Hey, y'all, let's get to it.
This story happened early last year as I started a
new job and an art gallery. Keep in mind, this
is a regional gallery. It's big in the area, and
we do a lot of high standard exhibitions, but we
are by no means at a national standard. No pacasas
or monaise here. So I'm working on the desk one
(09:04):
quiet afternoon and I see this shady old guy has
walked past our staff entrance multiple times. On the security cameras,
we watch him take a small metal object that looks
like a watch battery out of his pocket, pull out
a tube of glue and glue it onto the wall
above the staff card swiper thing to get into the building,
obviously red flags all around. Then he moves toward the
(09:27):
front of the building and starts to glue more things
to the building. It's go time. I'm on it. I
run out the staff door and head out and use
my best no I'm the boss here voice and ask
him can I help you? Mate? Quick note in Australia,
people often use mate in situations that someone's doing the
wrong thing or all around being.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
A fuck with.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
He tells me he works with our security company, and
he's just installing some new hardware, says the old guy
wearing footy shorts and thongs and as a high viz
workshirt that's and covered in Greece on a Sunday afternoon
with no notice, and then in all caps it says,
not today a thief. I asked for his ID and
he tells me he doesn't have his work ID with him,
(10:11):
So I asked for his driver's license and I take
it off him while he looks totally perplexed by me.
The name he gave me didn't match the name on
his license. I walk back to the desk, scan and
copy his license and tell my coworker to call security.
I've done it. I've saved the gallery and caught the guy.
I have his real name and walked him to a
spot so we would have a perfect shot of him
(10:32):
in our security cameras. That'll probably promote me, definitely give
me a raise. But as it would turn out, Rex
didn't just work for the security company, he owned it.
When we called security, they told us the owner was
in the area and had patched us through to his mobile.
He had just been in town to grab a few
things from a shop across the road and thought he
(10:54):
would install the new censors while he was man. Everyone
called him Rex, but wasn't his legal name not the
unusual here?
Speaker 2 (11:02):
To be honest, was this super embarrassing? Yes?
Speaker 3 (11:05):
He did, however, tell me that if I ever wanted
a job in security, he could use someone as thorough
as me. Yeah, stay sexy and always be ready for
go time capital G capital T Maddie.
Speaker 4 (11:18):
She heard, Maddie, I think I think you're on in
the right ear like entirely.
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Hey, Look, if that's your job, you do your job,
you give no one the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Absolutely, I love it. It's art. You can't have the
art stolen.
Speaker 4 (11:33):
No, my lessons called mom prank gone wrong because you asked,
Dear MFM. I've submitted this story before, but now that
you've deliberately asked for prank's gone wrong, I'm going to
try again.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
You went out of your way to ask for pranks,
says in italics, deliberately.
Speaker 4 (11:54):
Years ago, and my sons were about seven and eleven,
we went through a weird family phase of loving to
scare each other. We were always hiding behind doors and
around corners to jump out and scream in each other's faces.
That's I don't know how people live like that.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
I don't. I don't understand. You just kind of get
you have to.
Speaker 3 (12:10):
Get high off of it because that's your coping mechanism
from just having to live in that kind of shock.
Speaker 4 (12:15):
All that got it. The closer we all came to
heart attacks, the better. One day, my husband and I
hatched a plan to scare my eleven year old Charlie.
I was going to hide in his bedroom closet while
he was brushing his teeth before bed, and my husband
would somehow get him to open the closet door and
then I'd jump out, it says, trust me.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
I know it sounds horrible. Now. I don't think it's
fair for the parents to like scheme together, you know
what I mean.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Although if that's the understanding in the family, then it's
not as weird as like us coming in being like
my mother would never jump up at all, much less.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
Jump out of a closet. Right, It's like they're used
to it, Okay.
Speaker 4 (12:52):
I quietly slipped into the closet, crouched down, and peeked
out through the slats in the closet door. I waited
and waited and waited. As many times as my husband
tried to get Charlie to open the closet, all his
efforts were too subtle and totally futile. Eventually, my darling
husband just shrugged and said okay, good night, left the room,
closed the door, and all caps turned off the lights,
(13:13):
with me still hiding in the closet. The prank had
suddenly taken a very dark turn, and panic said it yes.
After silently cursing my husband, I figured there was only
one way out through the slats. As I saw Charlie
reach for a book on his bedside table, I attempted
the most gentle boo as I slowly slid his closet
door open.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Since friends, he lost it.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
What I thought was a book in his hand was
actually a picture frame that was ultimately strown to the
floor in a panic smashing. He fell to the ground
in terror, rolling around in the broken glass, crying and
screaming and coating his pajamas with broken glass.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
After cleaning him up.
Speaker 4 (13:55):
And calming him down, I cuddled with him on his bed,
held a cool cloth to his forehead and apologize a
thousand times over. I looked him in the eyes and said,
I know you don't believe me now, but I promise
you that one day we will laugh about this. I
can't say that I haven't traumatized him for life, but
Charlie is almost twenty years old and we laugh about
this all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
He's still talking to you. Yeah, yeah, he.
Speaker 4 (14:19):
Has long forgiven me. Have I forgiven my husband for
stoining me in the closet?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Oh?
Speaker 4 (14:23):
Hell no, no, stay sexy and stay out of your
kid's closet. After Dark Jay from Toronto, so evil.
Speaker 3 (14:33):
It truly went wrong. It's just, you know what, it's
a good thing to consider. It's like you have the
best intentions when you're doing your fun prank on a child.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
What if it doesn't go the way you sue?
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Oh hard boo, real quick, boo boo.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Do you have one more? Yes? I do. I'm not
going to read you the subject line.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
It just starts, Hey, friend a Reno's I have a
secondhand story for you today. So for the sake of anonymity,
I've changed the names here. It goes in high school.
My older sister was somewhat of a delinquent. She sold drugs,
mainly marijuana, for some extra cash and rolled with a
crew of dudes from another local high school. She partied
a lot and even moved out at one point during
(15:19):
her senior year with said group of equally rebellious dudes.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
She was rock and roll. She sounds fun.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
Here's to hardcore older sisters who were just trying to
get through teenhood in the late aughts. Any who's There
was another drug dealer in our town who rolled with
a different group of people who was notorious for being
a scammer. We'll call him Jack, think ripping people off
with astronomically high prices, selling unknowing teens or regno instead
of weed and the like. One time, Jack hit up
(15:49):
my sister to sell him an ounce of weed. They
met up in the park late one night with their
respective crews. Jack paid my sister eighty dollars in cash
for the weed and they each went on their merry ways.
The next day, went a Safeway, and if she was
checking out, she tried to pay for her items with
the cash from the drug deal The store clerk conformed
her that they were counterfeit bills and wouldn't let her
(16:09):
check out. She tried the cash at Starbucks instead, but
she received the same response, and then in parentheses it says,
shout out to my sister for trying to make lemonade
and scam the big corporations.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
I guess.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Once she deemed that the bills were useless, she messaged Jack,
telling him something along the lines of give me my
actual money or my boys will come and fuck you up. Clearly,
she got the audacious gene. Eventually, after some back and forth,
Jack agreed to meet her at a coffee shop in
broad daylight to give her the money. The time and
place seemed odd to my sister, but since it was
(16:43):
just a cash exchange, she went ahead and decided to
meet him there, only arriving at the coffee shop to
find that he was AOL. As she was about to
go on another texting rampage, someone abruptly tapped her on
the shoulder. She turned around to see a little old
lady who asked her, are you here for Jack. Startled,
she replied yes. The old woman explained she was Jack's
(17:03):
grandmother and would be giving my sister the money, but
not before she gave her a little talking to. Awkwardly,
the old woman sat my sister down and told her,
I know what you're doing and what you're doing is shit.
She went on to tell her that she had been
a teacher of thirty years and hated to see young
people waste their potential selling drugs. She told her she
could turn out like one of her star students if
(17:25):
she'd just stopped being a drug dealer. My sister sat there,
stunned after receiving this unexpected slap on the wrist from
Jack's grandmother. The woman then pulled out her checkbook, wrote
my sister a check for eighty dollars, and left the
table without saying a word.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (17:40):
Thankfully the check was authentic and my sister got her payment.
Of course, my sister had a zillion questions running through
her head, namely, why would such a disapproving grandma still
pay off her grandson's drug debt. Regardless, everything worked out
in the end, and my sister knew not to sell
or buy from Jack anymore. And maybe something Jack's grandmother
told my sister that stuck with her, because my sister
(18:02):
cleaned up her act in the years that followed and
is now a sober software developer making six figures. I
am super fucking proud of my big siss And maybe
if it wouldn't have been for that counterfeit drug deal
and that chance grandma encounter, things would have turned out differently, right, Yes, anyway,
hope you like my story and thank you for everything
(18:22):
you do. I've been listening to the pod since twenty seventeen,
and you guys are my best ease. And then there's
five s's and less than with a three which looks
like a heart.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Love you all, xoxos.
Speaker 4 (18:37):
Oh my god, it just shows you that like that
was a stranger, she didn't have to take the time
to talk to her, Nope, but she knew that there
was potential there.
Speaker 2 (18:48):
Oh my god. She told her like, you could do
whatever you want. I can tell I'm a teacher.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
Yeah, and maybe it really did ring a little bell
inside of that drug dealing girls.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh my god, amazing it worked. I love that story.
I know right, Yes, send us your redemption stories. Let's
have redemption stories. Let's have older sister redemption story. Ask
or older sibling that. Let's have the sibling black sheep
redemption story.
Speaker 3 (19:20):
I'm one right same, I was the black sheep until
literally seven years ago when we started this podcast.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
It's great, it's a great story arc.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
And now We're like top of the your top of
the Kilgarrat pack.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
On top of the hard Stark pack.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Come on, there's nothing like the black sheep turning it
all around.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
That's right.
Speaker 4 (19:39):
Send us in My Favorite Murder at Gmail and stay
sexy and don't get murdered. Gave bye, Elvis, Do you
want a cookie?
Speaker 3 (19:54):
This has been an exactly right production.
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton. Our producers all
this episode.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
Our researchers are Mareon mcclashen and Sarah Blair Jenkins.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Email your hometowns and fucking horays to my Favorite Murder
at gmail dot com.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at my Favorite
Murder and Twitter at my favor Murder.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Gybye
Hosts And Creators
Georgia Hardstark
Karen Kilgariff
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