November 18, 2024 • 23 mins
What happens when a mother's fight against breast cancer transforms her relationship with her son? Join us as we share the incredible journey of Sherry and her son, Steven, whose bond was profoundly changed by a breast cancer diagnosis. Through the lens of their shared love for sci-fi classics like Star Wars and Star Trek, they reveal how they navigated the emotional and physical toll of the disease. Steven's role shifted dramatically, becoming the primary contact for medical updates and shouldering new responsibilities. Hear Steven's candid thoughts on managing these challenges, the impact on his daily life, and the unparalleled support he received from his workplace.
In a heartfelt discussion, Sherry and Steven open up about the ongoing medication and recovery process, painting a vivid picture of their enduring mother-son bond. Sherry expresses her deep gratitude for Steven's unwavering support, from handling the painful side effects to managing household tasks. Balancing his college studies in Baking and Pastry Arts with caregiving, Steven showcases remarkable dedication and strength. Together, they reflect on the importance of family support during health struggles and share their optimistic outlook for the future. This episode is a testament to resilience, love, and the incredible power of familial bonds.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, my name is Sherry and welcome to my podcast
Silver T, and today my podcastis about relationships and I
want to talk about myrelationship with my son and how
it was affected when I wasfirst diagnosed with Breast
cancer.
So I would like for everyone tomeet Steven.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello guys.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Stephen.
Hello guys.
And so me and Stephen, we'regoing to talk about our new norm
of how our relationship isright now, today, and how
different it is since I wasdiagnosed with breast cancer.
So, stephen, I have questionsfor Stephen.
I first want to start off withI find that me and Steven have
(00:47):
the same interest with things,that I'm a sci-fi buff.
I just want to say this I'm asci-fi buff and Steven and I
have some of the same sci-fi.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The love for sci-fi is like uh, we have a lot of the
same interest in sci-fi.
So basically, like star wars,star trek, doctor who, uh, a lot
of the marvel stuff yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So we're gonna talk about that afterwards.
Like what, how we bonded as aswe were going through this
process, that kind of made it.
We just started doing moviestogether and enjoying each
other's company.
So I want to talk about some ofthe some one of the things that
(01:42):
I noticed.
I felt like, oh, as me andsteven age, I get older and
steven gets older, it seems likeour roles kind of change a
little bit.
I feel like I I become thechild and he becomes the parent.
So but in this, in thissituation, steven actually had
to step up his game and and whenI say that is when I first told
(02:06):
him about the diagnosis, I alsomade him the.
The person that was responsiblefor the one that the doctors
would report to after my surgery.
It was steven.
So I wanted him to be in thatrole because he's he's growing
up, he's a grown man and I knowit was a hard decision because I
(02:28):
had other people to ask forhelp in that situation.
But I actually chose Stephenbecause I felt we are close and
we do a lot of stuff together.
So I felt that our bond wasstrong enough for me to ask him
to be the main contact primarythat the doctors were going to
be dealing with while I wasgoing through my surgery.
(02:49):
So, steven, let me ask you doyou feel like has our roles
changed and a hard task on beingthe primary and and the doctors
(03:10):
reporting to you and giving youall the information after and
during my surgery?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
uh, no, I didn't really feel like it was a hard.
It was hard, but I didn't feellike it was a lot more like,
okay, I gotta actually payattention, because I usually
kind of just look at things andI'll remember it, but then I'm
really won't do anything with it.
But now I'm like, okay, Iactually gotta take care of my
(03:35):
mom.
And yeah, I actually gotta takecare of my mom.
And uh, it was very much agrowing pain I had to deal with,
I should say yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So I mean, did it affect you on your job?
Like when you had to go andtalk to your job about it?
I remember you telling me howemotional it was to even have to
tell them about it, causeSteven is a very like myself,
he's a very quiet person, hedoesn't really talk that much.
(04:12):
So he had he besides me, heneeded someone else to talk to
and so, uh, he went to work andhe talked to people at work.
And how was I know you had somegood support there how was your
support at work when you had toask?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
them.
Well, yeah, my support at workwas great.
Uh, the manager at the timegave me basically all the time
off I needed to take care of youduring the surgery.
I had like two weeks off plusan extra week he gave me, and
then I went back to work.
(04:50):
No, you gave your Friday off,yeah, yeah, and then I had every
Friday off, maybe about six orseven months after your surgery
for your chemo uh treatmentsyeah, that was, that was great
yeah yeah, so I, I, I want to.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I want to touch on that because, steven, when I say
he stepped up his game, hestepped up his game when he said
he had to pay attention.
And I, and I want to say he'sused to me being in charge of
everything, so when he had topay attention, it was like, oh,
smack, I'm being treated like anadult right now.
(05:30):
Somebody help me.
But no, he didn't even say thathe was ready.
He was ready to pick me up fromthe hospital.
He was ready to drive me.
He wouldn't let anybody come tothe hospital to drive me home,
and he didn't even want anybodyin the car because he said you
(05:53):
know, I, I got this, I'm gettingready to go pick up my mom.
I don't need anybody come withme, I'm a grown man.
I got no grandma.
No, no, we don't.
I don't know, I got this.
So he actually was, and I was alittle nervous because he was a
still new driver too.
He was a new driver and he wasdriving my new car.
Okay so, but he did a good job,he.
(06:14):
He came and he picked me up.
So, steven, let me, let me askyou a question do you feel that,
now that we're past all thechemo, past all the radiation,
do you feel that our bond hasstrengthened or do you feel that
it weakened our bond after thiswhole thing?
(06:36):
This?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
whole journey.
I think it strengthened ourbond because I very much had to
take care of you, which was notnew to me because I'm an only
child.
So I all I did was just, yeah,learn from you and then how to
take care, yeah, yeah, how totake care of you, because.
So that's what I basically didand I think it strengthened our
(07:01):
bond, because, because I wasjust with you 24-7.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah, I agree with Steven.
I really feel that Ari Bond hasstrengthened over it and I
won't say at any time that itweakened it.
I was actually kind ofconcerned that I was going to
put too much pressure on him totake this role, but what he did
(07:29):
was he came out so strong and heactually surprised me.
He had to do things that a sonreally it was hard for a son.
He had to take care of mywounds.
He had to see about me when Ihad all the, when I first had my
breasts wrapped because I hadbreast reconstruction done.
(07:52):
He had to see about all thatand he was there.
He was ready to Look what doyou need next?
That's what he was.
He was who our bond didstrengthen and is stronger to
this very day.
And that's why I was asking himabout movies, because me and
steven really started, startedreally spending time on
(08:16):
realizing we like a lot of thesame sci-fi movies.
Doctor who was like totally oneof the ones I wouldn't expect
him to like.
Right, he watched the olddoctor who's in any any doctor
who fans.
They know I'm talking about we,we there, we got that.
So we, we would like scheduletime to watch those doctor who
movies.
He, he actually made sure I hadmy medicine.
(08:39):
He, he picked up my medicine.
He told me he was so supportive.
He said hey, mom, you need meto, I'm ready to go.
The doctor needs you to pick upsomething, day and night, I'm
ready to go get it.
Whatever you would you,whatever you need me to do, he
was ready to do it.
So I I feel that ourrelationship with support, our
relationship, our bondrelationship has gotten stronger
(09:02):
and we just bonded over thetiny things, the small things
that are the ones that reallymakes the difference.
It's the small things.
So, um, and we know,communication with our, our
children is, it's just something.
It's difficult because theylove having their face in the
phone.
(09:22):
So I want to say to I want toask, steven, like, how do you
feel about communication?
Do you think our communicationschanged since the diagnosis?
Do we?
Do we communicate better?
Do it?
It's almost feel like we readeach other minds.
Now, like you almost know whenI'm in distress, how do you feel
about our communications?
It's almost like we can, liketelepathically, talk to each
(09:44):
other oh, I definitely know whenyou're in distress.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I wouldn't say it's more silly Mind reading for me,
it's more of a feeling I canfeel when you're in distress.
Yeah, for me anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Like, what are some of the things that you know
about me when you can tell, isit my behavior or do I just?
I'm not a person that likes toask for help too much.
I like to.
I'm one of those stubbornpeople that you know.
You got a broken leg and you'retrying to get to somewhere
(10:23):
important and somebody's goingto say can I help you carry that
and knowing I need help, I sayno.
So I'm one of those people.
So I don't.
I don't like to ask for helptoo much.
So, steven, I do.
I do ask you for help sometimes, but a lot of times steven
would just say mom, I was righthere, why didn't you just ask me
(10:46):
?
But now he kind of knows likeI'm trying to do something.
So I I think I mean what do youthink?
You think that you got betterat reading, reading me and my
emotions?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I like to think I got better at reading your emotions
your statement is uh, I want totalk about the emotional
support.
Um, steven, do you feel thatyou got enough emotional support
during this process?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
uh, yeah, I think I got him.
I think I had enough ofemotional support.
I had, you know, the wholefamily here constantly, so it
was pretty easy to throw themout yeah, he's constantly over
here.
I was like, dang he over hereagain today.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I just saw you yesterday an hour ago, like geez
yeah, so, yeah, we did.
So we did get some really goodemotional support and, um, and I
think me and steven, we webonded, we got closer and we're
still growing.
We really we're still growing.
We try to do things together,like go for a walk, because he
(11:48):
was willing to go for a walkwith me.
Uh, just try to help with.
If you watch one of my walkingthe walking podcast I talked
about how I lost a lot of mymobility.
I was walking with a walkingstick or it was just hard for me
to get around and move.
So, steven, I was, I wanted togo walking.
So I was asking him could he gowith me?
(12:10):
Because he he was, he was mysupport and then he was my
encouragement so he was ready togo.
When I asked him, he was justlike let's, let's do this.
He was ready to do it.
So, steven, um, because when Italked about that, I talked
about because I want to say doyou feel like today, that I do
(12:37):
ask you to do a lot of dailytasks around the house?
And and, um, do you feel likethat has a part of our
relationship, that hasstrengthened that relationship?
Because you do a lot?
I mean you do a lot.
I was to the point where Stevenwas cooking my food.
Yeah and um.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, I did do, I still do a lot.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, how does it?
Is it stressful to own thatrelationship?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
it can be stressful, but you just really got to take
your time with it.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
In all honesty, yeah, like anything yeah, yeah, he's
right, absolutely, you gotta.
You gotta take your time, and Itry not to call him too much
that.
This is why I don't ask him fora lot of help, because I feel
that steven does enough.
I feel that I call him enoughtimes to help me when I have
this medication that I'm on Ineed a lot of help with.
(13:34):
Sometimes I get these charliehorses and I get a charlie horse
in my leg and I can't stand upand it's so painful.
I gotta call steven in to tohelp me.
Go get some ice.
I found I don't know if anybodynoticed Well, for me I put ice
on a Charlie horse, especiallywhen it's in your mid thigh and
(13:54):
it feels like your whole entirethigh Trying to roll over.
So I'll be Stephen, I need ice.
So he'll come, he'll bring theice, stephen.
I just think he's.
He's stronger than I realize.
That's what I think about you.
I think you're stronger and hedoes.
(14:16):
He does help me a lot when itcomes down to the medicine part,
because that medicine sometimesI'm just totally exhausted,
sometimes halfway through theday and I have to ask him to
help.
I'll be in the middle of doingsomething and I will abandon and
(14:37):
go lie down in my bed.
Just go lay down.
And I asked him to finish upwhatever I was doing.
He jumps right in Because Idon't know.
I just lost all my energy andmy strength and I would just go
and rest so I can.
But he'll come in and say Mom,what's going on in the kitchen?
(14:58):
I said, oh, my goodness,stephen.
I said I couldn't go no moreand I'm a busy body.
So what do you think about mebeing a busy body?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, yeah.
She's always been like that,ever since I was little.
She can't stop.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I'm like really, Mom Can you just sit down for five
minutes.
I do the work with like tenpeople, I'll be running four or
five things at one time and, andI feel bad when I gotta say,
steven, can you, can you do this, this and this?
And it's like, oh my god, whatwere you doing?
I'm just a busy person.
(15:34):
I I'm not, I'm not really asocial person, but I don't like
idle hands.
So I give myself a thousandprojects and, steven, if I'm
doing them, I try to slow downbecause I know it's not fair to
Steven to ask him to help mewith these thousand projects I
(15:55):
just put on myself.
Help me with these thousandproducts I just put on myself.
And so I did slow down a littlebit so he could only have Maybe
, just maybe, a hundred Insteadof a thousand.
But I just want to say Anybodythat's out there and they have a
son, or only son, and therelationship and the
(16:19):
relationship With their son, Ithink as a mother having this
diagnosis, that lean on your sonyou'll be surprised how strong
they are through the prayer andblessings, me and Steven has
made it this far and we stillgot a long way to go.
(16:41):
And so I really want to say,please, please, just lean on
your own family because there'snothing.
Steven is a co-survivor ofbreast cancer and he still has a
lot going on, because takingthis medicine for 10 years is it
still leaves me, um, with a lotof a lot of um.
(17:05):
Let me try to what I'm tryingto say.
It's still, I still need a lotof help with things, even though
I'm over to, thank god, I'mbreast breast, I'm cancer free,
but I still need a lot of helpwith things.
So he's, he's the nurse, a lotof help with things.
So he's, he's the nurse, he'sthe driver.
(17:25):
He takes me to my appointments.
He sees about me at nighttimewhen, when I I'm coughing or or
not feeling well, and he, he, hetakes care of all the doctor
stuff.
I mean, I don't think I got himwith the doctor stuff too much.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
He just tells me to call the doctor, but yeah he
don't call a doctor, I just makesure she calls.
I'm not about to call.
Yeah but I think you would haveif you had to yeah, if I had to
, if I didn't have a choice,yeah, yeah, but for being that I
have a choice.
I know you're well and able tocall.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I just got a reminder to do it yeah, because I'll be
getting like oh yeah, I gotcaught with the other stuff I
forgot to call.
So in the end, Stephen, I justwant to thank you for your help.
I want to thank you for beingmy son.
God has blessed me with awonderful son like you.
(18:14):
And, for those who don't know,Stephen is a college student.
He goes to school for a chef.
What did he go to school for?
Baking and Pastry Arts.
Baking and Pastry Arts he madesome delicious cookies, just
yesterday Was it yesterday.
No, it was day four yesterday,two days ago.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
My bad Two days ago.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
And he makes this wonderful bread, but he hasn't
made this bread in a long tomake cookies in a long time.
I decided to make cookiesinstead, I want some of that
bread.
Even though I probably don'tneed any of that bread, I like
to have homemade bread.
It's a lot healthier thanstore-bought with all the
preservatives in it.
So, um, steven, thank you againfor being a wonderful son.
(18:59):
I look forward to just whateverGod has for our path moving
forward.
So until next time, if you likewhat you hear, please hit that
subscribe button, that bellnotification button and that
like button.
And if there's something youwant to talk about, if you want
(19:21):
to get more into, uh, myrelationship with steve, with
steven, just hey, put it down inthe in the comment below.
And, steven, is there anythingyou'd like to say before we
close out this, uh, thisinterview podcast?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
uh, I love you, mom, I love you and, um, this was fun
.
Uh, I'd like to do it again,but we can talk more, you know,
not about the emotional stuff,but just about, you know, some
sci-fi, maybe some anime thatI'm trying to get you to watch.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Oh, I do like anime.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, I'm trying to get her into more anime, but she
won't do it I do watch a lot ofanime I watch.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Let's talk about that for a second.
I I watched ang on the avatarlove the avatar, yeah, the
avatar check out steven.
He has his water bender shirton.
Check out his water bender.
Yeah, all y'all yeah yeah, andwe always.
And see, let me tell you, thisis steven's age.
(20:22):
I didn't watch the avatarwasn't around when I was little,
so it's around now, but itwasn't around when I was young.
So we, we watched that and we,we, we be getting that popcorn
now.
Okay, when the movie comes,we'll be saying, oh, we going to
go ahead and make sure weschedule that day off from work
or whatever we're doing andwe're going to go to the movies.
(20:43):
So, yeah, we do Our nextinterview together.
It may be me being interviewedby Steven and see if I'm paying
attention.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, sure, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
See if I'm paying attention to what I'm watching,
because I love the big furryflying thing.
What's that big furry flyingthing?
You mean oppa?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
oh yes, I love oppa she can never say the names,
right.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's just like, yeah, I don't know why I yeah, I
can't say their names.
Right, oppa, all right, that'sthe oppa yeah, you said it right
, katara.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, katara, my girl , that's girl power right there.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Tough, soccer, soccer .
I love them all, I mean.
So that is something me andsteven we continue to bond over
sci-fi with.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Now anybody watch witcher yeah, just you know, you
got a new one coming out.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, I'm sad they replaced henry Cavill, but yeah,
I know, yeah, yeah, but theyreplaced him with uh.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
One of the um yeah, the um Hemsworth right yeah, the
um Hemsworth brothers.
One of them?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
yeah, I don't know who there's one that plays Thor,
right, I think?
I don't think so.
I think it's the other one youthink it's the other one?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
yeah, I think it's the other one.
Oh, I think it's William, notChris.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay, so again, sci-fi stuff.
We are going to have anotherinterview and we're going to
talk about sci-fi, becausethat's Steven's thing.
He likes gaming, he likessci-fi and he likes to harass me
.
So those are the things that wedo together.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Definitely harass for it.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That brought this bond that we have even stronger.
So if you want to talk aboutsomething I will tell you right
now, please hit that subscribebutton, that bell notification
button and that like button.
And until next time we pleaseremember, ladies and gentlemen,
early detection is the bestdetection.
(22:37):
So please get your mammogramsdone and if you missed it,
schedule for your mammogram.
If you had it already, put iton your calendar for next year.
So until next time, please havea nice cup of tea.
That is wonderful.
(22:58):
Bye, guys, bye.
Hi, my name is Sherry and welcome to my podcast
Silver T, and today my podcastis about relationships and I
want to talk about myrelationship with my son and how
it was affected when I wasfirst diagnosed with Breast
cancer.
So I would like for everyone tomeet Steven.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Hello guys.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Stephen.
Hello guys.
And so me and Stephen, we'regoing to talk about our new norm
of how our relationship isright now, today, and how
different it is since I wasdiagnosed with breast cancer.
So, stephen, I have questionsfor Stephen.
I first want to start off withI find that me and Steven have
(00:47):
the same interest with things,that I'm a sci-fi buff.
I just want to say this I'm asci-fi buff and Steven and I
have some of the same sci-fi.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
The love for sci-fi is like uh, we have a lot of the
same interest in sci-fi.
So basically, like star wars,star trek, doctor who, uh, a lot
of the marvel stuff yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So we're gonna talk about that afterwards.
Like what, how we bonded as aswe were going through this
process, that kind of made it.
We just started doing moviestogether and enjoying each
other's company.
So I want to talk about some ofthe some one of the things that
(01:42):
I noticed.
I felt like, oh, as me andsteven age, I get older and
steven gets older, it seems likeour roles kind of change a
little bit.
I feel like I I become thechild and he becomes the parent.
So but in this, in thissituation, steven actually had
to step up his game and and whenI say that is when I first told
(02:06):
him about the diagnosis, I alsomade him the.
The person that was responsiblefor the one that the doctors
would report to after my surgery.
It was steven.
So I wanted him to be in thatrole because he's he's growing
up, he's a grown man and I knowit was a hard decision because I
(02:28):
had other people to ask forhelp in that situation.
But I actually chose Stephenbecause I felt we are close and
we do a lot of stuff together.
So I felt that our bond wasstrong enough for me to ask him
to be the main contact primarythat the doctors were going to
be dealing with while I wasgoing through my surgery.
(02:49):
So, steven, let me ask you doyou feel like has our roles
changed and a hard task on beingthe primary and and the doctors
(03:10):
reporting to you and giving youall the information after and
during my surgery?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
uh, no, I didn't really feel like it was a hard.
It was hard, but I didn't feellike it was a lot more like,
okay, I gotta actually payattention, because I usually
kind of just look at things andI'll remember it, but then I'm
really won't do anything with it.
But now I'm like, okay, Iactually gotta take care of my
(03:35):
mom.
And yeah, I actually gotta takecare of my mom.
And uh, it was very much agrowing pain I had to deal with,
I should say yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So I mean, did it affect you on your job?
Like when you had to go andtalk to your job about it?
I remember you telling me howemotional it was to even have to
tell them about it, causeSteven is a very like myself,
he's a very quiet person, hedoesn't really talk that much.
(04:12):
So he had he besides me, heneeded someone else to talk to
and so, uh, he went to work andhe talked to people at work.
And how was I know you had somegood support there how was your
support at work when you had toask?
Speaker 2 (04:27):
them.
Well, yeah, my support at workwas great.
Uh, the manager at the timegave me basically all the time
off I needed to take care of youduring the surgery.
I had like two weeks off plusan extra week he gave me, and
then I went back to work.
(04:50):
No, you gave your Friday off,yeah, yeah, and then I had every
Friday off, maybe about six orseven months after your surgery
for your chemo uh treatmentsyeah, that was, that was great
yeah yeah, so I, I, I want to.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
I want to touch on that because, steven, when I say
he stepped up his game, hestepped up his game when he said
he had to pay attention.
And I, and I want to say he'sused to me being in charge of
everything, so when he had topay attention, it was like, oh,
smack, I'm being treated like anadult right now.
(05:30):
Somebody help me.
But no, he didn't even say thathe was ready.
He was ready to pick me up fromthe hospital.
He was ready to drive me.
He wouldn't let anybody come tothe hospital to drive me home,
and he didn't even want anybodyin the car because he said you
(05:53):
know, I, I got this, I'm gettingready to go pick up my mom.
I don't need anybody come withme, I'm a grown man.
I got no grandma.
No, no, we don't.
I don't know, I got this.
So he actually was, and I was alittle nervous because he was a
still new driver too.
He was a new driver and he wasdriving my new car.
Okay so, but he did a good job,he.
(06:14):
He came and he picked me up.
So, steven, let me, let me askyou a question do you feel that,
now that we're past all thechemo, past all the radiation,
do you feel that our bond hasstrengthened or do you feel that
it weakened our bond after thiswhole thing?
(06:36):
This?
Speaker 2 (06:36):
whole journey.
I think it strengthened ourbond because I very much had to
take care of you, which was notnew to me because I'm an only
child.
So I all I did was just, yeah,learn from you and then how to
take care, yeah, yeah, how totake care of you, because.
So that's what I basically didand I think it strengthened our
(07:01):
bond, because, because I wasjust with you 24-7.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Yeah, I agree with Steven.
I really feel that Ari Bond hasstrengthened over it and I
won't say at any time that itweakened it.
I was actually kind ofconcerned that I was going to
put too much pressure on him totake this role, but what he did
(07:29):
was he came out so strong and heactually surprised me.
He had to do things that a sonreally it was hard for a son.
He had to take care of mywounds.
He had to see about me when Ihad all the, when I first had my
breasts wrapped because I hadbreast reconstruction done.
(07:52):
He had to see about all thatand he was there.
He was ready to Look what doyou need next?
That's what he was.
He was who our bond didstrengthen and is stronger to
this very day.
And that's why I was asking himabout movies, because me and
steven really started, startedreally spending time on
(08:16):
realizing we like a lot of thesame sci-fi movies.
Doctor who was like totally oneof the ones I wouldn't expect
him to like.
Right, he watched the olddoctor who's in any any doctor
who fans.
They know I'm talking about we,we there, we got that.
So we, we would like scheduletime to watch those doctor who
movies.
He, he actually made sure I hadmy medicine.
(08:39):
He, he picked up my medicine.
He told me he was so supportive.
He said hey, mom, you need meto, I'm ready to go.
The doctor needs you to pick upsomething, day and night, I'm
ready to go get it.
Whatever you would you,whatever you need me to do, he
was ready to do it.
So I I feel that ourrelationship with support, our
relationship, our bondrelationship has gotten stronger
(09:02):
and we just bonded over thetiny things, the small things
that are the ones that reallymakes the difference.
It's the small things.
So, um, and we know,communication with our, our
children is, it's just something.
It's difficult because theylove having their face in the
phone.
(09:22):
So I want to say to I want toask, steven, like, how do you
feel about communication?
Do you think our communicationschanged since the diagnosis?
Do we?
Do we communicate better?
Do it?
It's almost feel like we readeach other minds.
Now, like you almost know whenI'm in distress, how do you feel
about our communications?
It's almost like we can, liketelepathically, talk to each
(09:44):
other oh, I definitely know whenyou're in distress.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
I wouldn't say it's more silly Mind reading for me,
it's more of a feeling I canfeel when you're in distress.
Yeah, for me anyway, yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Like, what are some of the things that you know
about me when you can tell, isit my behavior or do I just?
I'm not a person that likes toask for help too much.
I like to.
I'm one of those stubbornpeople that you know.
You got a broken leg and you'retrying to get to somewhere
(10:23):
important and somebody's goingto say can I help you carry that
and knowing I need help, I sayno.
So I'm one of those people.
So I don't.
I don't like to ask for helptoo much.
So, steven, I do.
I do ask you for help sometimes, but a lot of times steven
would just say mom, I was righthere, why didn't you just ask me
(10:46):
?
But now he kind of knows likeI'm trying to do something.
So I I think I mean what do youthink?
You think that you got betterat reading, reading me and my
emotions?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
yeah, I think so.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I like to think I got better at reading your emotions
your statement is uh, I want totalk about the emotional
support.
Um, steven, do you feel thatyou got enough emotional support
during this process?
Speaker 2 (11:12):
uh, yeah, I think I got him.
I think I had enough ofemotional support.
I had, you know, the wholefamily here constantly, so it
was pretty easy to throw themout yeah, he's constantly over
here.
I was like, dang he over hereagain today.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
I just saw you yesterday an hour ago, like geez
yeah, so, yeah, we did.
So we did get some really goodemotional support and, um, and I
think me and steven, we webonded, we got closer and we're
still growing.
We really we're still growing.
We try to do things together,like go for a walk, because he
(11:48):
was willing to go for a walkwith me.
Uh, just try to help with.
If you watch one of my walkingthe walking podcast I talked
about how I lost a lot of mymobility.
I was walking with a walkingstick or it was just hard for me
to get around and move.
So, steven, I was, I wanted togo walking.
So I was asking him could he gowith me?
(12:10):
Because he he was, he was mysupport and then he was my
encouragement so he was ready togo.
When I asked him, he was justlike let's, let's do this.
He was ready to do it.
So, steven, um, because when Italked about that, I talked
about because I want to say doyou feel like today, that I do
(12:37):
ask you to do a lot of dailytasks around the house?
And and, um, do you feel likethat has a part of our
relationship, that hasstrengthened that relationship?
Because you do a lot?
I mean you do a lot.
I was to the point where Stevenwas cooking my food.
Yeah and um.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
Yeah, I did do, I still do a lot.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah, how does it?
Is it stressful to own thatrelationship?
Speaker 2 (13:08):
it can be stressful, but you just really got to take
your time with it.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
In all honesty, yeah, like anything yeah, yeah, he's
right, absolutely, you gotta.
You gotta take your time, and Itry not to call him too much
that.
This is why I don't ask him fora lot of help, because I feel
that steven does enough.
I feel that I call him enoughtimes to help me when I have
this medication that I'm on Ineed a lot of help with.
(13:34):
Sometimes I get these charliehorses and I get a charlie horse
in my leg and I can't stand upand it's so painful.
I gotta call steven in to tohelp me.
Go get some ice.
I found I don't know if anybodynoticed Well, for me I put ice
on a Charlie horse, especiallywhen it's in your mid thigh and
(13:54):
it feels like your whole entirethigh Trying to roll over.
So I'll be Stephen, I need ice.
So he'll come, he'll bring theice, stephen.
I just think he's.
He's stronger than I realize.
That's what I think about you.
I think you're stronger and hedoes.
(14:16):
He does help me a lot when itcomes down to the medicine part,
because that medicine sometimesI'm just totally exhausted,
sometimes halfway through theday and I have to ask him to
help.
I'll be in the middle of doingsomething and I will abandon and
(14:37):
go lie down in my bed.
Just go lay down.
And I asked him to finish upwhatever I was doing.
He jumps right in Because Idon't know.
I just lost all my energy andmy strength and I would just go
and rest so I can.
But he'll come in and say Mom,what's going on in the kitchen?
(14:58):
I said, oh, my goodness,stephen.
I said I couldn't go no moreand I'm a busy body.
So what do you think about mebeing a busy body?
Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah, yeah.
She's always been like that,ever since I was little.
She can't stop.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
I'm like really, Mom Can you just sit down for five
minutes.
I do the work with like tenpeople, I'll be running four or
five things at one time and, andI feel bad when I gotta say,
steven, can you, can you do this, this and this?
And it's like, oh my god, whatwere you doing?
I'm just a busy person.
(15:34):
I I'm not, I'm not really asocial person, but I don't like
idle hands.
So I give myself a thousandprojects and, steven, if I'm
doing them, I try to slow downbecause I know it's not fair to
Steven to ask him to help mewith these thousand projects I
(15:55):
just put on myself.
Help me with these thousandproducts I just put on myself.
And so I did slow down a littlebit so he could only have Maybe
, just maybe, a hundred Insteadof a thousand.
But I just want to say Anybodythat's out there and they have a
son, or only son, and therelationship and the
(16:19):
relationship With their son, Ithink as a mother having this
diagnosis, that lean on your sonyou'll be surprised how strong
they are through the prayer andblessings, me and Steven has
made it this far and we stillgot a long way to go.
(16:41):
And so I really want to say,please, please, just lean on
your own family because there'snothing.
Steven is a co-survivor ofbreast cancer and he still has a
lot going on, because takingthis medicine for 10 years is it
still leaves me, um, with a lotof a lot of um.
(17:05):
Let me try to what I'm tryingto say.
It's still, I still need a lotof help with things, even though
I'm over to, thank god, I'mbreast breast, I'm cancer free,
but I still need a lot of helpwith things.
So he's, he's the nurse, a lotof help with things.
So he's, he's the nurse, he'sthe driver.
(17:25):
He takes me to my appointments.
He sees about me at nighttimewhen, when I I'm coughing or or
not feeling well, and he, he, hetakes care of all the doctor
stuff.
I mean, I don't think I got himwith the doctor stuff too much.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
He just tells me to call the doctor, but yeah he
don't call a doctor, I just makesure she calls.
I'm not about to call.
Yeah but I think you would haveif you had to yeah, if I had to
, if I didn't have a choice,yeah, yeah, but for being that I
have a choice.
I know you're well and able tocall.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
I just got a reminder to do it yeah, because I'll be
getting like oh yeah, I gotcaught with the other stuff I
forgot to call.
So in the end, Stephen, I justwant to thank you for your help.
I want to thank you for beingmy son.
God has blessed me with awonderful son like you.
(18:14):
And, for those who don't know,Stephen is a college student.
He goes to school for a chef.
What did he go to school for?
Baking and Pastry Arts.
Baking and Pastry Arts he madesome delicious cookies, just
yesterday Was it yesterday.
No, it was day four yesterday,two days ago.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
My bad Two days ago.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
And he makes this wonderful bread, but he hasn't
made this bread in a long tomake cookies in a long time.
I decided to make cookiesinstead, I want some of that
bread.
Even though I probably don'tneed any of that bread, I like
to have homemade bread.
It's a lot healthier thanstore-bought with all the
preservatives in it.
So, um, steven, thank you againfor being a wonderful son.
(18:59):
I look forward to just whateverGod has for our path moving
forward.
So until next time, if you likewhat you hear, please hit that
subscribe button, that bellnotification button and that
like button.
And if there's something youwant to talk about, if you want
(19:21):
to get more into, uh, myrelationship with steve, with
steven, just hey, put it down inthe in the comment below.
And, steven, is there anythingyou'd like to say before we
close out this, uh, thisinterview podcast?
Speaker 2 (19:37):
uh, I love you, mom, I love you and, um, this was fun
.
Uh, I'd like to do it again,but we can talk more, you know,
not about the emotional stuff,but just about, you know, some
sci-fi, maybe some anime thatI'm trying to get you to watch.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Oh, I do like anime.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Yeah, I'm trying to get her into more anime, but she
won't do it I do watch a lot ofanime I watch.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Let's talk about that for a second.
I I watched ang on the avatarlove the avatar, yeah, the
avatar check out steven.
He has his water bender shirton.
Check out his water bender.
Yeah, all y'all yeah yeah, andwe always.
And see, let me tell you, thisis steven's age.
(20:22):
I didn't watch the avatarwasn't around when I was little,
so it's around now, but itwasn't around when I was young.
So we, we watched that and we,we, we be getting that popcorn
now.
Okay, when the movie comes,we'll be saying, oh, we going to
go ahead and make sure weschedule that day off from work
or whatever we're doing andwe're going to go to the movies.
(20:43):
So, yeah, we do Our nextinterview together.
It may be me being interviewedby Steven and see if I'm paying
attention.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Yeah, sure, okay.
Speaker 1 (20:58):
See if I'm paying attention to what I'm watching,
because I love the big furryflying thing.
What's that big furry flyingthing?
You mean oppa?
Speaker 2 (21:05):
oh yes, I love oppa she can never say the names,
right.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's just like, yeah, I don't know why I yeah, I
can't say their names.
Right, oppa, all right, that'sthe oppa yeah, you said it right
, katara.
Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, katara, my girl , that's girl power right there.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
Tough, soccer, soccer .
I love them all, I mean.
So that is something me andsteven we continue to bond over
sci-fi with.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Now anybody watch witcher yeah, just you know, you
got a new one coming out.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Yeah, I'm sad they replaced henry Cavill, but yeah,
I know, yeah, yeah, but theyreplaced him with uh.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
One of the um yeah, the um Hemsworth right yeah, the
um Hemsworth brothers.
One of them?
Speaker 1 (21:49):
yeah, I don't know who there's one that plays Thor,
right, I think?
I don't think so.
I think it's the other one youthink it's the other one?
Speaker 2 (21:55):
yeah, I think it's the other one.
Oh, I think it's William, notChris.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Okay, so again, sci-fi stuff.
We are going to have anotherinterview and we're going to
talk about sci-fi, becausethat's Steven's thing.
He likes gaming, he likessci-fi and he likes to harass me
.
So those are the things that wedo together.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
Definitely harass for it.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
That brought this bond that we have even stronger.
So if you want to talk aboutsomething I will tell you right
now, please hit that subscribebutton, that bell notification
button and that like button.
And until next time we pleaseremember, ladies and gentlemen,
early detection is the bestdetection.
(22:37):
So please get your mammogramsdone and if you missed it,
schedule for your mammogram.
If you had it already, put iton your calendar for next year.
So until next time, please havea nice cup of tea.
That is wonderful.
(22:58):
Bye, guys, bye.
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