Becoming "The One" Before Finding "The One"

Ever caught yourself thinking "I'll be happy when I find the right person"? That mindset might be holding you back from the very relationship you're seeking. In this powerful season 6 opener, we're shifting focus from married couples to singles, dating couples, and newly engaged listeners with a truth that changes everything: before finding "the one," you must become "the one."

The search for lasting love isn't about scrolling harder on dating apps or lowering your standards—it's about becoming whole in Christ first. Looking at Adam's story in Genesis reveals God's blueprint: purpose before partnership, identity before intimacy. Your waiting season isn't a punishment or oversight—it's intentional preparation where God heals past wounds, shapes your character, and refines your unique purpose.

Many singles put their lives on pause, thinking marriage will suddenly provide joy, discipline, or direction. But relationships don't create these things—they magnify what's already present. Start building your life with God now. Take the trip. Develop good habits. Grow spiritually. Your waiting season isn't a holding pattern—it's a launch pad for everything God has planned. When feeling forgotten while scrolling through engagement announcements, remember Psalm 31:15: "My times are in your hands." You're not behind; you're being set apart for something extraordinary. Trust God's timing and storyline, His plot twists are always better than our shortcuts.

Whether you're single, dating, or recently engaged, join me each week for practical wisdom on navigating relationships God's way. Subscribe, share with friends and send your questions for future episodes. The journey to finding love starts by first becoming the person God created you to be.

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Episode Transcript

Renee Richel (00:07):
Hi, I'm Renee Richel, the founder and
president of 1 True Match.
I'm here to help you find andcultivate the love of your life.
For over a decade, I'vededicated my life to the
importance, purpose and dynamicof human relationships.
My team and I are disciplinedby faith, love and integrity to
help our clients find thequality relationship they've

(00:28):
always dreamt of.
Each week, I will be sharingthe tools and tips I've learned
that have rooted my success as amatchmaker with other leaders
around the world.
Hello, loves, welcome back.
I hope you've had a powerfulweek and I'm excited to kick off
our brand new season for ourdating and engaged couples.

(00:50):
Now, if you've been with usthrough our marriage season,
first of all, thank you.
What a powerful journey it'sbeen.
But now we're shifting gears.
We're going to start talkingabout single dating and, just
recently, saying yes to thatring.

(01:10):
This season is for you.
Today's episode is calledBecoming "he One Before Finding
the One God's work in yourwaiting season.
I want to start here because,before we talk about red flags,
apps, timelines or wedding plans, we have to talk about you and

(01:33):
God, because the truth is, youdon't find the right person by
scrolling hard on the apps.
You become ready by firstbecoming whole in Christ.
So grab your coffee, yourjournal and let's dive into this
season with open hearts andrenewed minds.

(01:55):
So many of us grow up thinkingthe goal is to find the one.
And while God absolutely caresabout your relationship.
And while God absolutely caresabout your relationship, he's
been more invested in who you'rebecoming in the process.
Before Adam and Eve, he hadpurpose, he had communion with

(02:16):
God, he knew who he was.
In Genesis 2:15, it tells usthe Lord, god, took the man and
put him in the garden of Eden towork it and take care of it.
God formed Adam, placed him,assigned him.
Only after that did God say itis not good for a man to be

(02:44):
alone.
Translation purpose beforepartnership, identity before
intimacy.
If you're in a waiting seasonright now, hear me, it is not
punishment, it is preparationand it matters deeply.
So what does becoming the onereally mean deeply?

(03:07):
So what does becoming the onereally mean?
It's not about being perfect,it's about being rooted.
Here are three things God oftenworks on during this season.
Number one healing past wounds.
Whether it's a breakup,rejection or childhood trauma,
god wants to heal what hurt youso it doesn't leak into your new
relationship.
Don't just bury it deep downinside.

(03:31):
Bring it to him.
He is a good father and he ishere to listen.
In Psalms 147:3, it says heheals the brokenhearted and
binds up their wounds.
Two shaping character God wantsto build fruit in you Patience,

(03:54):
kindness, self-control andhumility.
These aren't just traits,they're tools for a healthy,
lasting love.
In Galatians 5:22-23, it talksabout the fruit of the Spirit.
Let that be your checklist,more than appearance or

(04:15):
chemistry.
Three refine your purpose.
Before you link arms aroundsomeone else's calling, you need
to walk confidently on your own.
What is God stirring in yourheart?
What makes you come alive?
The right person won't distractyou from your purpose.

(04:38):
They'll align with you.
Have you heard someone saythings like I'll be happy when I
meet the right person.
I'll travel, grow spirituallyand take care of myself once I
am with somebody?
I hear my singles say this allthe time and I tell them God

(05:02):
wants you to start living yourlife to the fullest right now.
Marriage is not a magic switchthat suddenly gives you joy,
discipline or purpose.
It magnifies what already is inyou, in your life, that you
already have.
So start building your lifewith God.

(05:24):
Take the trip, read the Word,learn the budget, grow in
community, love the people infront of you.
Your waiting season is not aholding pattern, it is a launch
pad.
And I get it because you'rescrolling on your phone and then

(05:46):
boom, another proposal post,Another couple announcing a
wedding date and you're overhere wondering when will it be
my turn?
Let me remind you God's timingis never late and never random.

In Psalms 31 (06:04):
15, it says my times are in your hands.
He sees what you don't.
He's protecting you from whatyou can't see and while you feel
forgotten, he's actually beingintentional.
You're not behind, you're beingset apart.

(06:26):
Instead of asking when will itbe my turn, try asking God what
do you want me to do right nowin my life?
Because the truth is, the rightperson at the wrong time can
lead to pain and heartache.
Let God write your love story.

(06:46):
This plot twists are alwaysbetter than our shortcuts.
Here are a few ways to lean intothis becoming journey Daily
devotion.
Spend consistent, intimate timewith God, not just for answers
but for relationship, positive,faithful community matters.

(07:09):
Surround yourself with peoplewho can call you higher and pray
with you through your waitingseason.
Pursue wholeness.
Get therapy, take care of yourbody.
Break bad habits, let God cleanhouse, write a vision Journal

(07:33):
what you want in a relationship,but also what you want to give
in one.
What kind of partner do youwant to also be?
Celebrate others instead ofcomparing.
Bless the engagements andweddings you see.
Celebrate others instead ofcomparing.

(07:55):
Bless the engagements andweddings, you see.
It's evidence that God is stillmoving.
So, in conclusion, let's wrap upin prayer.
Lord, thank you for every heartlistening right now, for the
one waiting, the one healing,the one searching for clarity.
Be their peace, remind themthat their season of becoming is

(08:20):
sacred, that you are not late.
You are working behind thescenes and in their hearts.
Teach us to trust, grow andwalk boldly in purpose and, when
the time is right, bring therelationship that reflects your
glory In Jesus' name, amen.

(08:40):
This is just the beginning of abeautiful season.
Whether you're dating, engagedor in a waiting room with Jesus,
know that he's preparing youfor something real and worthy.
While you wait, make sure yousubscribe, share this with
friends who's waiting on God and, as always, keep an open heart

(09:07):
and mind in the world of dating.
I hope you have a fantasticweek and can't wait to see you
for our next chat, god bless.
It's been another great talk onthis episode of 1 True Talks by
Renee Richel.
I look forward to our next chat.

(09:29):
Please write in your questionsand comments so I can be sure to
talk about whatever it is youwant to discuss in our next
upcoming episode.
Lots of Love, God Bless.
XOXO.