April 30, 2025 • 35 mins
What happens after you pause the critic?After you catch the thought, let it pause, and create space — what fills that space?
In this episode, Dr. Wendy Bazilian continues the conversation from the last episode about creating a criticism-free day — and explores what comes next: the practices that build resilience, creativity, and compassion when the critic steps back.
Join Dr. Wendy as she shares real-life examples, simple (but powerful) language shifts, the science behind positive self-talk, and how mindful awareness can reshape not just our reactions but our whole mindset over time. This isn't about ignoring frustration or forcing positivity. It is about softening our lens, strengthening our resilience, and making space for calm, curiosity, and connection.
You will leave with three specific, research-backed practices — and an invitation to notice, reframe, and rewire in your waking minutes.
We discuss:
(1:46) A quick recap of the CLEAR™ method and why pausing is just the beginning
(5:12) A story about when the Keynote was in peril: When things go wrong, how self-talk shifted everything
(8:32) Why it’s not about ignoring challenges but resilience, and why biting your tongue isn’t the same as changing your mindset
(11:19) Language swaps: real-world examples to soften your self-talk and daily commentary
(19:48) Gratitude as a tool for resilience and stress reduction
(23:47) The hidden power of mindful noticing and non-reactivity
(26:04) How tiny daily practices rewire the brain for resilience and connection
(29:29) A mindful minute of reflection and reset to anchor the practices into your day
CONNECT WITH WENDY
Follow on Instagram: @1000WakingMinutes
Visit the website: wendybazilian.com
Email me: 1KWM@wendybazilian.com
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Thank you for tuning in to 1,000 Waking Minutes and being part of this journey — together.
A heartfelt thank you to our amazing collaborators including our production and marketing teams, and Gabriela Escalante in particular. To the talented Beza for our theme music, Pearl Preis Photography and Design, Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course, my family and everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.
HEALTH DISCLAIMER
The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered individual medical or health advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or medical treatment.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
You know that moment when
the critique is right there,
on your tongue, in your
thoughts, about to spill out.
You catch it, you pause.
Now what?
That's the moment we're working
with today.
Because criticism is easy, but
responding differently, that's a practice.
We experience 1,000 waking
(00:23):
minutes on average every day.
How are you spending yours?
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
you're listening to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I can't wait to connect
with you here with practical
ways to eat well, move
daily, and be healthy.
To optimize every waking minute
you live for a happier,
healthier life.
Thank you for sharing some
(00:44):
of your waking minutes with
me today.
Let's get started.
I'm saying yes to better
days, yes.
I'm on my way, yes.
It's gonna be okay, yeah.
(01:05):
Welcome back to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
I'm really glad you're joining
me today.
In the last episode, which
if you haven't heard it,
go back and listen to
it, we stepped back from
something that most of us
do without thinking.
We took a break from
criticism.
Not because life suddenly got
(01:26):
easier, or because we don't
notice things happening, but because
we were willing to pause
and look at how often
we slip into critique mode
toward others, toward the world,
and maybe most often toward
ourselves.
We explored in that episode
(01:47):
what I call the CLEAR
method.
It's a five-part framework,
happens to be conveniently a
word also, which sort of
magically happened, I didn't force
that.
But really it helps us
catch the moments, let them
pause, explore what's underneath them,
ask if the criticism is
(02:08):
really necessary or helpful, and
then reframe or release them.
And here's what I want
to ask today.
So once we've created that
space, what do we do
to fill it with?
What's next?
Because if we start quieting
the critic and getting good
(02:29):
at that, even just for
a moment or some moments,
what takes its place?
Do we just sit in
awkward silence?
Do we bite our tongues
so hard we end up
muttering something worse under our
breath as we walk away?
That's what we're going to
explore today in this episode.
And it isn't about toxic
(02:50):
positivity, about just forcing positivity,
or pretending that everything's fine
when really it's not.
But it is about finding
some tiny swaps at times,
some little ways we can
interrupt the habit of criticism
and perhaps replace it with
something else.
Compassion, curiosity, maybe humor?
(03:14):
We'll soften the tone a
little bit, maybe ask a
better question, or even just
take a breath instead of
a bite.
And we'll bring a little
bit of that C.L.E.A.R. back
in, Catching it, Letting it [pause],
Exploring it, Asking and Releasing
and Reframing.
We'll do that.
This method isn't just to
pause the critical loop that
(03:36):
we get circled into, but
it helps us start to
do something or build something
better in its place.
And we're going to look
at that together.
I'll bring in a little
bit of science, some language
shifts today, and a few
real-world moments that might
just sound a little too
familiar, if you know what
(03:56):
I mean.
So we've taken a break
from criticism.
Maybe one day once a
month, one day a week,
one day a quarter, you
decide, one day when you
need it.
We notice how often it
sneaks into our days toward
others, the world, ourselves.
But we're going to fill
(04:17):
the space with something else
because, let's face it, sometimes
when there's that void, we
don't know what to do.
One of the things we're
going to talk about is
self-talk.
It's that inner dialogue that's
running through all of our
minds.
Sometimes it's encouraging and sometimes
not so much.
(04:38):
And as it turns out,
this has a significant impact
on our overall well-being.
A number of studies have
highlighted how positive self-talk
can support better psychological well
-being.
It can improve resilience under
stress and even benefit cardiovascular
health.
(04:59):
That's a physical benefit as
well.
And it doesn't mean walking
around cheerleading yourself, but it
means offering a more helpful
inner voice when it really
counts.
But let's bring this to
life a little bit, this
idea about self-talk and
how it can help with
a little story, a little
(05:20):
personal story here, just brief.
A moment where this really
showed up for me.
I was giving a keynote
presentation at a big luncheon.
There were lots of moving
parts, including a food demo
that was going to happen
that I was doing on
stage, but also some tastings
happening in the crowd.
And the slides were ready.
(05:41):
Everything was ready.
We were getting ready.
Everyone was coming in.
Food was being served.
And the conference laptop died.
At first, you don't worry
about it because you just
think something turned off or
someone hit a switch.
But then we noticed a
little bit of scrambling.
(06:01):
And this was the main
computer for the conference.
This was not my computer.
It was completely gone, dark,
no slides, no visuals.
And the tech team was
really scrambling.
And I had a room
full of people getting ready
for their lunch on a
time schedule and getting ready
(06:22):
for my presentation as well.
In that moment, I could
feel a quickening of my
nerves, anxiety, an inner voice
trying to take the wheel,
so to speak, like take
over.
When I should be thinking
about my presentation, I'm thinking
about tech problems and "What
will I do next.
(06:43):
This isn't how it's supposed
to go.
This may not land the
way I wanted to.
I'm not going to deliver
this the way that I
intended.
Maybe I do use my
slides too much as a
crutch.
Maybe I'm panicking, even though
I teach just the opposite."
But then I stood there.
I looked out to the
group.
I was standing actually on
(07:04):
a lifted stage in front
of a table.
I took a breath, and
I reminded myself (07:09):
"You know
this information.
You've lived this content.
You can guide.
You can present.
You can educate without slides."
And even more than that,
I reminded myself that everyone
here is here to hear
me, not look at my
pretty slide deck.
(07:30):
They're here to listen, to
be with and in person
with another person, and perhaps
to learn or be entertained
or just have a nice
lunch and reinforce, many times,...
some thoughts that they have.
These were health professionals.
These were my peers.
But as I shifted the
tone in my head, and
(07:51):
I sort of brought a
smile to my inner voice
and hopefully to my face,
my nerves really started to
quiet.
I started to recenter and
get like a hyper focus.
I slowed down, and I
just connected.
And that was sort of
the power of self-talk
in action.
It was purposeful, and it
(08:11):
wasn't because it made the
tech work.
Again, it didn't make the
computer magically start, but it
helped me work through that
moment with a little bit
of calm and presence and
to come back to center.
So that shift in self
-talk didn't just calm my
nerves.
It shifted and changed my
entire approach.
So it's not about ignoring
(08:33):
challenges that come up and
approaching them with a mindset
that is just like we're
going to overcome it, but
to foster some resilience through
how we shift and how
we use our self-talk.
And positive self-talk isn't
about pretending everything's perfect either.
It's about being kind to
(08:54):
ourselves, especially when things aren't
going well.
So how do we practice
that?
First, we catch the negative
thought.
We let it pause.
We explore what it's about,
its origin, what's happening.
We ask, "is it helpful
or would it be helpful
to have this criticism at
(09:16):
the moment, to pursue and
keep down this path?"
And then we either reframe
it or we release it.
And that, again, is our
CLEAR method in action.
So instead of saying "I'm
terrible at this," maybe we
say "I'm learning.
It's okay to make mistakes
when you're learning something new."
(09:37):
A small shift in how
you self-talk can really
help.
It's not about some perfect
scenario.
It's about progress towards some
change.
So we're going to talk
about what to say instead.
Some tiny swaps that I
think have some big shifts.
when the inner critic comes
(09:58):
either to yourself or to
the outward world, let's say
you do pause.
You take that pause.
You're like, "okay, I grabbed
it."
You catch your breath.
And you think of maybe
the clear acronym that you're
getting solidified in.
And we're tackling the exploration
of this.
But now what?
Now what?
(10:20):
After that, the critical moment.
Get that?
The "critical moment".
I just said that.
Indeed, a critical moment.
This is a critical moment.
The now what?
What do you actually say
instead, out loud or in
your head, wherever it's going?
Because let's be honest, this
silence that can be created
(10:40):
in this pause, the breath,
it isn't always satisfying.
It doesn't feel like enough
at times.
And it can make us
more anxious.
And biting your tongue isn't
the same thing as shifting
your mindset.
Keep that in mind.
Sometimes we're like, "well, I'll
just bite my tongue and
not say it."
And you sort of stew,
and it even gets worse.
It's not the same as
(11:01):
shifting your mindset.
So this next part we're
going to be talking about,
I have three strategies, so
to speak, about filling the
space gently, thoughtfully, and with
a few words that hopefully
won't make you cringe or
feel fake when you're doing
this.
So, 'what to say instead'
when those moments sneak up.
(11:22):
We can use language swaps.
I alluded to it and
talked about it a moment
ago, some positive self-talk,
but also language swaps in
general, some simple human and
real examples.
I'll share a few that
you might relate to, maybe
a few that you won't.
(11:43):
And I promise none of
these will feel like a
self-help poster, even though
I do admit to liking
some of those self-help
posters that I see at
times.
So think about this.
Maybe you've attended a meeting
and you close your laptop
and you go back to
your desk or you get
off the Zoom call and
(12:05):
you sort of start to
berate yourself like, "oh, I
messed up that or I
fumbled some words or I
could have been more articulate.
Now I have my thoughts.
I could have been more
useful."
And you start replaying what
could have been in your
head.
It's like an inner tension
and maybe like second-guessing.
It's a spiral, really.
(12:26):
But instead of piling on
the critique, you might say
to yourself, "maybe that wasn't
my best moment, but it's
just one moment.
It's not the whole picture.
Here are some proactive things
I might do in the
future" or really, now we're
getting back to work.
Most of us are back
into work, and I'm going
to take what I got
from the meeting and move
forward.
(12:46):
Maybe as simple as that.
Another scenario, you're in your
closet or you're pulling out
something out of your drawer.
You're trying on your outfits
for the day or you're
trying on something you haven't
worn in a while and
you expect it's going to
fit.
And nothing is feeling right.
Nothing is fitting right.
Nothing just feels, you know,
you're frustrated.
(13:06):
Your body all of a
sudden becomes the problem.
You were just trying to
get your clothes on and
now you're critiquing your body
in some way.
And that can create a
downward spiral to a lot
of individuals and it can
set a tone for the
entire day.
Instead, you can use some
other words and think, "you
know what?
This is a hard body
(13:27):
day for me."
You know, we have our
bad hair days and we
sort of laugh those off
at times.
"This is a harder day
for my body for me.
You know, I'll wear something
that's a little softer and
more gentle" and gently move
through the day.
Just shifting some things.
Maybe that resonates with you.
Maybe it doesn't, but shifting
a little bit.
(13:47):
You don't have to fix
it or be rah-rah
about yourself altogether.
You can be gentler with
yourself instead.
Or maybe here's another scenario
that all of us have
fallen into, I imagine, at
times.
You're scrolling.
Maybe it's late at night.
Maybe it's, you know, a
mindless moment when you're waiting
for someone to come meet
(14:09):
you at a car.
You're scrolling on your phone
and someone posts a success,
a confidence, something they wore,
something they said.
It just hits you wrong.
And you let either comparison
or criticism creep in.
It becomes like judgment, basically.
Who wore it best?
We're, like, trained to do
(14:30):
this.
Like, magazines, like, who wore
it best?
And it's like asking you
when there's two, you know,
beautiful humans wearing beautiful clothing
and they're asking you to
choose and therefore critique the
other.
When you're doing this and
pointing it either at yourself
or making comparison, maybe one
of the things you can
say (14:49):
"they're on their path,
I'm on mine, and mine
doesn't have to look like
theirs right now."
Or "let's find something positive
to say.
Let's point out some attribute
that doesn't allow this brain
to walk down the path
that I'm seeing myself going
toward."
Another scenario that we probably
(15:10):
all experience at times is
sort of the kitchen mess.
You know, it might be
post-dinner.
It might be just a
day.
It might be just, you
know, the chaos that is
life at times.
Maybe you meant to do
the dishes.
You didn't have time.
It's been a long day.
And you walk into that
messy kitchen.
(15:30):
You're like, "ugh, I dropped
the ball again or I
should have done this."
Everything just feels wrong because
you're looking at a messy
kitchen.
It seems like it's representing
or symbolic of so many
other things.
"I dropped the ball again."
"Pause.
Breathe."
I'm saying this to myself
at the moment.
(15:50):
Sometimes this happens to me.
This isn't ideal, what I'm
looking at.
This is not a moral
failing on my part.
It's just dinner.
It's just dishes.
I'm human.
We'll get through this.
Small shifts.
We're not correcting the world
with these.
And then there's others.
You know, it might be
your partner, your co-workers,
(16:11):
even your children at times.
This can really hit a
nerve for some.
An inner voice that might
make you say, "Seriously?! Again?!"
Or, "it's so unbelievable that
this person does X, Y,
Z."
Or (16:25):
"how can this happen?"
Or maybe it's about you
and them.
"They always do this.
Why do I even bother?"
"I always do this...
why do they even bother?"
I don't know.
But maybe you can try.
"You know what?
Something's really getting to me.
I need to take a
pause before I respond."
(16:45):
So this can be person
to person.
Or maybe just taking a
pause and saying, "let me
regroup on what I'm tending
toward, what I'm anchoring into,
what I'm moving toward.
Let me see if I
can rephrase this."
And finally, just one more.
This is about taking it
back to the Beginner's Mind.
(17:07):
Something that I talked about
very briefly in the last
episode.
A Zen practice of, instead
of being the expert on,
and you might relate to
this, at the moment, whatever
thing it is, it may
not even be your work,
your discipline, but you're the
one who knows what's wrong
and why.
The expert.
Try to stay open in
(17:28):
those moments.
The way that the car
is fixed, the way someone's
pumping their gas, the way
that someone takes out their
garbage.
All of a sudden, you're
the expert on how it
should be done.
And your critic comes out.
You may not verbalize it,
but you might be thinking
it.
Remember, we're going to pause.
And then be curious.
(17:49):
Use curiosity.
Use the Beginner's Mind.
Approach the moment with a
little more, maybe, humility?
But curiosity.
Let's use our curiosity and
a little less urgency to
try to solve or point
out, what's wrong with this
scenario?
Because after all, you're the
expert.
Which maybe you'll chuckle, because
(18:10):
that's the funny part.
A lot of us, when
we do that, and put
those words to it, we
go, of course I'm not
the expert on that.
But I never really thought
to open up to the
idea that there might be
other reasons that people do
what they do, right, wrong,
or otherwise, just different reasons.
And when you do that,
you get to say one
of my favorite two words,
(18:32):
"I wonder", instead of, I
know exactly what's going on.
I wonder.
And something shifts.
I wonder.
It's something my six-year
-old and I try to
practice every day when looking
at the world, open-eyed
and curiously, curiously, with curiosity.
I guess it's curiously at
the world at times.
Maybe that's a critical eye
(18:52):
coming in.
But with curiosity.
We literally have it up
on the wall in one
of our rooms.
"I wonder, dot, dot, dot."
And we've got the dot,
dot, dot after the ellipsis.
So it's pausing, shifting to
maybe "ack", still, like "ack!"
But more with like, "why
is this getting my goat
(19:13):
here?
I wonder."
Why?
Can you create some space,
maybe, for a little more
grace in that moment?
So these are the moments,
the little frictions, the quiet
corners of the day where
criticism slides in without a
sound.
We don't need to replace
them with beautiful rainbows and
affirmations, although we talk a
(19:35):
lot about rainbows and unicorns
in this house.
But just with something more
honest, maybe something more helpful,
a sentence that leaves space
instead of silence.
So the next tool for
your toolbox and practice that
you can use, the first
one was sort of swapping
in words and using language.
Now we're going to talk
(19:55):
about using gratitude and reframing.
And it's another tool that
I love, and it doesn't
sound fancy, gratitude, you hear
about it.
But it's one of the
most grounding tools that I
know, and it really is
a good practice, gratitude.
This isn't about the fancy
gratitude journal with gold pens
that you use at night,
(20:15):
which, by the way, are
amazing, and I really support
that and encourage expressing gratitude
as sort of your blessings
of the day and what
you can be thankful.
Those are really great, too.
But here I mean the
simple moments, the kind that
can happen anytime when you
take pause and on purpose.
(20:36):
So it's quiet, it's easy
to skip, but it can
shift your entire lens if
you practice it regularly.
Noticing just one thing that
went well, maybe in an
otherwise chaotic scenario, or a
moment that makes you smile
amidst other parts of that
hour, that day, that meal,
whatever it is.
(20:57):
Maybe one thing about a
frustrating situation.
This gets a little bit
more tricky, but so wonderful.
That's still somehow okay.
Something within a frustration or
frustrating situation, that's still okay.
And why is this important?
Because research has shown that
practicing gratitude actually changes the
ways our brains scan for
(21:17):
information.
So research back several years,
but much since as well,
by Emmons and McCullough, that's
research that dates back a
while, found that people who
wrote about things they were
grateful for even once a
week heightened well-being.
And in other words, being
more optimistic and feeling better
(21:38):
about their lives physically and
emotionally.
And other research has sort
of substantiated that further.
A big review sort of
confirmed this,
though they noted that it was
more about the frequency and
regularity, the consistency of expressing
gratitude that really started to
show up.
More than four times was
(22:01):
really key to showing up
for benefit.
So that could be once
a week over four weeks
or longer.
It could be multiple times
a day.
But it's about the impact
on our mood, our mental
health, especially feelings of stress
and depression, and also our
physical and overall well-being.
(22:22):
So that's a little bit
less clear in the research
science.
This is about expressing gratitude
frequently and consistently and its
impact on things like mood,
on stress, and physical well
-being.
So how do we do
this without the fancy journal?
How about shifting again or
(22:42):
using some of that word
shifting and thinking like instead
of "this meeting was a
disaster", the first scenario I
painted before, you might reframe
it and say, "well, that
was messy, but I got
through it."
Or "I'm proud of how
I handled that moment."
Then you take a breath,
and it's always good to
take the breath because it
(23:03):
helps sort of cleanse and
settle you to move forward.
So the expression of gratitude
doesn't have to like shift
and be artificial.
It's just within a moment,
is there something you can
be grateful for or identify
that you can be grateful
for?
Simple as that, you know,
that went well or amidst
turmoil, is there some saving
(23:26):
peace ?
And even just taking the
breath and moving forward is
something to be grateful for.
So as a final practice,
we explored gratitude just now.
We explored some language shifts,
and you can use those
in tandem.
Those are more active things
you can do after you
take that pause or as
you're taking that pause.
(23:47):
And there's one more practice
I want to mention here,
and it might be the
most subtle of all.
It allows us to sort
of zoom back out and
take a breath, take that
breath, and bring awareness to
the moment.
And it's simply noticing, being
aware, in the first place.
I could have put this
at the beginning of the practices,
(24:08):
but I actually wanted to
put it deliberately at the
end because it's good sometimes
to come out of the
actual scenarios and say, observing
what's happening, taking a look
at what's happening in your
thoughts and your body in
a moment without rushing to
judge it will make some
of the tools that I
gave you easier to practice.
(24:29):
It can slow you down
- the pace - and be really
the deepest part of allowing
us to think about what
might come next, start down
the path, either to criticism
or other.
What might come next?
It may not sound like
much, but it can be
(24:49):
powerful.
When you notice a critical
thought and you don't immediately
react to it, you've already
interrupted the cycle.
Think about that.
This kind of awareness is
at the heart of many
of the mindfulness traditions like
Taoist philosophy.
And there is this concept
of wu-wei, it's called,
(25:10):
about non-forcing.
It's a type of flow.
We talked about FLOWS in
a different way recently in
some episodes.
But a type of flow,
rather than reacting to control
or change something, a sort
of way, not an inaction,
but it's sort of referred
to as 'effortless action' in
(25:32):
Taoist thought, the wu-wei.
And it's learning to move
with the world a little
bit more with ease, but
with intention.
So let's think with intention,
but a little easier, without
over-correcting or resisting at
every turn.
And when I think of
that, even when I was
(25:53):
preparing for today, when I
just think of that, it
puts me more at ease.
It sounds nice.
And research backs this up
as well.
Studies show that present moment
awareness can reduce emotional reactivity
and also increase resilience, all
by helping us take that
(26:14):
pause before we speak or
act.
Psychologist and mindfulness teacher, Jon
Kabat-Zinn, you may have
heard of him, has written
extensively about this kind of
noticing as the foundation for
stress reduction and healing, simply
by paying attention on purpose
and without judgment.
(26:36):
So there we have it.
We have moved little by
little in a few practices
through and from critic to
curious to hopefully compassionate.
Is there hope for us?
Yes, I think that there
is.
What all these practices have
in common - the noticing, the
(26:57):
language shifts, the quiet moments
of gratitude - is that they
gently pull us out of
autopilot when it comes to
criticism.
They almost force the pause.
They allow us space to
choose.
And they remind us that
if criticism comes fast, kindness
(27:17):
can come just as easily
once we know where to
look.
Noticing.
This is a chance for
us to respond with curiosity,
"I wonder...", or compassion, or
even just with less urgency,
less reactivity.
Because it's not about walking
around being endlessly cheerful, although
(27:39):
I do like to be
around people who smile, but
I like it to be
authentic.
But it is about being
a little more spacious with
our reactions.
And sometimes you don't have
to say something positive to
do this.
You just have to say
something different than the criticism.
(27:59):
So when that critical voice
creeps up in the traffic,
in your commentary of other
people driving, in your conversation,
even when you're looking in
the mirror, take pause.
Use the acronym CLEAR, the
word I shared.
Catch it.
Let it pause.
Explore.
(28:19):
Ask.
This may be where you
evaluate your options and identify
which of the practices you'll
use.
And R for Reframe or
Release.
This is where you choose
to respond, whether to respond,
how you'll respond, which may
be in one of these
practices we talked about today.
(28:40):
Language.
Gratitude.
Choosing to release and let
it go.
So you might try a
language swap.
Try a breath.
Try reframing.
Try asking, "what else might
be true here?
I wonder..."
And turn it into a
moment of gratitude related, or
(29:00):
even into something else.
Just notice how you might
make a shift.
These are tiny changes, but
over time, they sort of
soften the hard edges of
the day and they create,
very importantly, they create more
space in your waking minutes
for the curiosity, for more
calm, and maybe even a
(29:22):
little more joy away from
the criticism and that comes
naturally.
So before we wrap up
this episode for today, I
think having a Mindful Minute
together could do us some
good and help us anchor
into what we talked about
today.
Help us get to that
next place and space where
we can start to do
(29:44):
something differently, when the move
to criticism can be shifted
at least some of the
time.
And just a reminder also,
you don't need to be
anywhere special or do anything
fancy to have a minute
of meditation or mindfulness.
You just need your breath
and a willingness to take
pause.
So rest your feet, ground
(30:06):
them on the floor.
If it feels safe, sort
of soften your gaze or
even close your eyes.
Let your shoulders relax, your
hands rest, and let's take
one full preparation breath together.
In through your nose, out
through the mouth, and we'll
(30:28):
begin our mindful minute now
together.
Just breathe.
(30:54):
If a thought comes up,
let it pass by like
a cloud and come back
to your breath.
Think to yourself, I'm showing
(31:16):
up in my life.
Sometimes it's harder, sometimes it's
easier, and I'm enough.
Take one last easy breath
in and gently out.
(31:37):
And that's it.
One moment shared to pause,
rest, renew.
Our mental energy can come
back into focus and see
what's possible in our waking
minutes each day.
Thank you for sharing that
Mindful Minute with me.
So today, we explored what
(31:58):
we can say instead of
criticism, how to soften our
inner voice, how to practice
something different, and how those
small shifts can really start
to change the tone of
our day.
And when you pair this
with some of the things
we talked about, like language
swaps, gratitude, or even just
(32:18):
mindful awareness, noticing, you're not
just avoiding criticism.
You're rewiring your response system.
You're actually creating new patterns
in the brain.
And this is where science
meets the practice because over
time, when you repeat a
pattern, catching, pausing, exploring, asking,
(32:42):
and choosing a better response,
that becomes your new groove.
Nerves that fire together, wire
together, is what neuroscientists say,
and you can get into
a new groove.
And that's not woo-woo,
that's neuroplasticity, literally.
Our brains can change.
And these small intentional practices
(33:03):
are the way we help
that happen.
And I think it's really
cool.
I hope you do too.
And it's definitely worth trying.
I'm so glad you spent
a few of your waking
minutes with me today.
Thank you for listening and
for practicing.
If you found something helpful
here, I'd love to hear
from you.
And I'd also love for
you to leave a comment
(33:24):
on your podcast channel and
send a note, or share
this episode with someone who
might appreciate the pause.
You can find me at
wendybazilian.com or write me
at 1KWM@wendybazilian.com.
I'm grateful to you.
And I'm Wendy Bazilian, your
podcast friend in pursuing a
(33:46):
life well-lived by thinking
about the choices we make
during our 1,000 waking
minutes each day.
Until next time, be well.
Thank you for tuning in
to 1,000 Waking Minutes,
a huge thank you to
our amazing collaborators, including our
production and marketing teams and
(34:06):
Gabriela Escalante in particular, to
the ultra talented Beza for
my theme music, my lifelong
friend and artist, Pearl Preis
Photography and Design, to Danielle
Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell,
and of course my family,
and everyone working tirelessly behind
the scenes.
And to you, our valued
listeners, I so appreciate your
(34:28):
support.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
please consider leaving a comment,
writing a review, and giving
1,000 Waking Minutes, that's
us, a five-star rating.
And please hit subscribe on
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Please follow and stay connected
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(34:49):
forget to share with your
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Your support helps us grow
and bring you more great
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Until next time, find some
simple opportunities to optimize those
1,000 waking minutes each
day.
I'm saying yes to better
(35:09):
days, yes I'm on my
way, yes It's gonna be
okay, yeah I'm saying yes
to better days, yes I'm
on my way, yes It's
gonna be okay, yeah
You know that moment when
the critique is right there,
on your tongue, in your
thoughts, about to spill out.
You catch it, you pause.
Now what?
That's the moment we're working
with today.
Because criticism is easy, but
responding differently, that's a practice.
We experience 1,000 waking
(00:23):
minutes on average every day.
How are you spending yours?
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
you're listening to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I can't wait to connect
with you here with practical
ways to eat well, move
daily, and be healthy.
To optimize every waking minute
you live for a happier,
healthier life.
Thank you for sharing some
(00:44):
of your waking minutes with
me today.
Let's get started.
I'm saying yes to better
days, yes.
I'm on my way, yes.
It's gonna be okay, yeah.
(01:05):
Welcome back to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
I'm really glad you're joining
me today.
In the last episode, which
if you haven't heard it,
go back and listen to
it, we stepped back from
something that most of us
do without thinking.
We took a break from
criticism.
Not because life suddenly got
(01:26):
easier, or because we don't
notice things happening, but because
we were willing to pause
and look at how often
we slip into critique mode
toward others, toward the world,
and maybe most often toward
ourselves.
We explored in that episode
(01:47):
what I call the CLEAR
method.
It's a five-part framework,
happens to be conveniently a
word also, which sort of
magically happened, I didn't force
that.
But really it helps us
catch the moments, let them
pause, explore what's underneath them,
ask if the criticism is
(02:08):
really necessary or helpful, and
then reframe or release them.
And here's what I want
to ask today.
So once we've created that
space, what do we do
to fill it with?
What's next?
Because if we start quieting
the critic and getting good
(02:29):
at that, even just for
a moment or some moments,
what takes its place?
Do we just sit in
awkward silence?
Do we bite our tongues
so hard we end up
muttering something worse under our
breath as we walk away?
That's what we're going to
explore today in this episode.
And it isn't about toxic
(02:50):
positivity, about just forcing positivity,
or pretending that everything's fine
when really it's not.
But it is about finding
some tiny swaps at times,
some little ways we can
interrupt the habit of criticism
and perhaps replace it with
something else.
Compassion, curiosity, maybe humor?
(03:14):
We'll soften the tone a
little bit, maybe ask a
better question, or even just
take a breath instead of
a bite.
And we'll bring a little
bit of that C.L.E.A.R. back
in, Catching it, Letting it [pause],
Exploring it, Asking and Releasing
and Reframing.
We'll do that.
This method isn't just to
pause the critical loop that
(03:36):
we get circled into, but
it helps us start to
do something or build something
better in its place.
And we're going to look
at that together.
I'll bring in a little
bit of science, some language
shifts today, and a few
real-world moments that might
just sound a little too
familiar, if you know what
(03:56):
I mean.
So we've taken a break
from criticism.
Maybe one day once a
month, one day a week,
one day a quarter, you
decide, one day when you
need it.
We notice how often it
sneaks into our days toward
others, the world, ourselves.
But we're going to fill
(04:17):
the space with something else
because, let's face it, sometimes
when there's that void, we
don't know what to do.
One of the things we're
going to talk about is
self-talk.
It's that inner dialogue that's
running through all of our
minds.
Sometimes it's encouraging and sometimes
not so much.
(04:38):
And as it turns out,
this has a significant impact
on our overall well-being.
A number of studies have
highlighted how positive self-talk
can support better psychological well
-being.
It can improve resilience under
stress and even benefit cardiovascular
health.
(04:59):
That's a physical benefit as
well.
And it doesn't mean walking
around cheerleading yourself, but it
means offering a more helpful
inner voice when it really
counts.
But let's bring this to
life a little bit, this
idea about self-talk and
how it can help with
a little story, a little
(05:20):
personal story here, just brief.
A moment where this really
showed up for me.
I was giving a keynote
presentation at a big luncheon.
There were lots of moving
parts, including a food demo
that was going to happen
that I was doing on
stage, but also some tastings
happening in the crowd.
And the slides were ready.
(05:41):
Everything was ready.
We were getting ready.
Everyone was coming in.
Food was being served.
And the conference laptop died.
At first, you don't worry
about it because you just
think something turned off or
someone hit a switch.
But then we noticed a
little bit of scrambling.
(06:01):
And this was the main
computer for the conference.
This was not my computer.
It was completely gone, dark,
no slides, no visuals.
And the tech team was
really scrambling.
And I had a room
full of people getting ready
for their lunch on a
time schedule and getting ready
(06:22):
for my presentation as well.
In that moment, I could
feel a quickening of my
nerves, anxiety, an inner voice
trying to take the wheel,
so to speak, like take
over.
When I should be thinking
about my presentation, I'm thinking
about tech problems and "What
will I do next.
(06:43):
This isn't how it's supposed
to go.
This may not land the
way I wanted to.
I'm not going to deliver
this the way that I
intended.
Maybe I do use my
slides too much as a
crutch.
Maybe I'm panicking, even though
I teach just the opposite."
But then I stood there.
I looked out to the
group.
I was standing actually on
(07:04):
a lifted stage in front
of a table.
I took a breath, and
I reminded myself (07:09):
"You know
this information.
You've lived this content.
You can guide.
You can present.
You can educate without slides."
And even more than that,
I reminded myself that everyone
here is here to hear
me, not look at my
pretty slide deck.
(07:30):
They're here to listen, to
be with and in person
with another person, and perhaps
to learn or be entertained
or just have a nice
lunch and reinforce, many times,...
some thoughts that they have.
These were health professionals.
These were my peers.
But as I shifted the
tone in my head, and
(07:51):
I sort of brought a
smile to my inner voice
and hopefully to my face,
my nerves really started to
quiet.
I started to recenter and
get like a hyper focus.
I slowed down, and I
just connected.
And that was sort of
the power of self-talk
in action.
It was purposeful, and it
(08:11):
wasn't because it made the
tech work.
Again, it didn't make the
computer magically start, but it
helped me work through that
moment with a little bit
of calm and presence and
to come back to center.
So that shift in self
-talk didn't just calm my
nerves.
It shifted and changed my
entire approach.
So it's not about ignoring
(08:33):
challenges that come up and
approaching them with a mindset
that is just like we're
going to overcome it, but
to foster some resilience through
how we shift and how
we use our self-talk.
And positive self-talk isn't
about pretending everything's perfect either.
It's about being kind to
(08:54):
ourselves, especially when things aren't
going well.
So how do we practice
that?
First, we catch the negative
thought.
We let it pause.
We explore what it's about,
its origin, what's happening.
We ask, "is it helpful
or would it be helpful
to have this criticism at
(09:16):
the moment, to pursue and
keep down this path?"
And then we either reframe
it or we release it.
And that, again, is our
CLEAR method in action.
So instead of saying "I'm
terrible at this," maybe we
say "I'm learning.
It's okay to make mistakes
when you're learning something new."
(09:37):
A small shift in how
you self-talk can really
help.
It's not about some perfect
scenario.
It's about progress towards some
change.
So we're going to talk
about what to say instead.
Some tiny swaps that I
think have some big shifts.
when the inner critic comes
(09:58):
either to yourself or to
the outward world, let's say
you do pause.
You take that pause.
You're like, "okay, I grabbed
it."
You catch your breath.
And you think of maybe
the clear acronym that you're
getting solidified in.
And we're tackling the exploration
of this.
But now what?
Now what?
(10:20):
After that, the critical moment.
Get that?
The "critical moment".
I just said that.
Indeed, a critical moment.
This is a critical moment.
The now what?
What do you actually say
instead, out loud or in
your head, wherever it's going?
Because let's be honest, this
silence that can be created
(10:40):
in this pause, the breath,
it isn't always satisfying.
It doesn't feel like enough
at times.
And it can make us
more anxious.
And biting your tongue isn't
the same thing as shifting
your mindset.
Keep that in mind.
Sometimes we're like, "well, I'll
just bite my tongue and
not say it."
And you sort of stew,
and it even gets worse.
It's not the same as
(11:01):
shifting your mindset.
So this next part we're
going to be talking about,
I have three strategies, so
to speak, about filling the
space gently, thoughtfully, and with
a few words that hopefully
won't make you cringe or
feel fake when you're doing
this.
So, 'what to say instead'
when those moments sneak up.
(11:22):
We can use language swaps.
I alluded to it and
talked about it a moment
ago, some positive self-talk,
but also language swaps in
general, some simple human and
real examples.
I'll share a few that
you might relate to, maybe
a few that you won't.
(11:43):
And I promise none of
these will feel like a
self-help poster, even though
I do admit to liking
some of those self-help
posters that I see at
times.
So think about this.
Maybe you've attended a meeting
and you close your laptop
and you go back to
your desk or you get
off the Zoom call and
(12:05):
you sort of start to
berate yourself like, "oh, I
messed up that or I
fumbled some words or I
could have been more articulate.
Now I have my thoughts.
I could have been more
useful."
And you start replaying what
could have been in your
head.
It's like an inner tension
and maybe like second-guessing.
It's a spiral, really.
(12:26):
But instead of piling on
the critique, you might say
to yourself, "maybe that wasn't
my best moment, but it's
just one moment.
It's not the whole picture.
Here are some proactive things
I might do in the
future" or really, now we're
getting back to work.
Most of us are back
into work, and I'm going
to take what I got
from the meeting and move
forward.
(12:46):
Maybe as simple as that.
Another scenario, you're in your
closet or you're pulling out
something out of your drawer.
You're trying on your outfits
for the day or you're
trying on something you haven't
worn in a while and
you expect it's going to
fit.
And nothing is feeling right.
Nothing is fitting right.
Nothing just feels, you know,
you're frustrated.
(13:06):
Your body all of a
sudden becomes the problem.
You were just trying to
get your clothes on and
now you're critiquing your body
in some way.
And that can create a
downward spiral to a lot
of individuals and it can
set a tone for the
entire day.
Instead, you can use some
other words and think, "you
know what?
This is a hard body
(13:27):
day for me."
You know, we have our
bad hair days and we
sort of laugh those off
at times.
"This is a harder day
for my body for me.
You know, I'll wear something
that's a little softer and
more gentle" and gently move
through the day.
Just shifting some things.
Maybe that resonates with you.
Maybe it doesn't, but shifting
a little bit.
(13:47):
You don't have to fix
it or be rah-rah
about yourself altogether.
You can be gentler with
yourself instead.
Or maybe here's another scenario
that all of us have
fallen into, I imagine, at
times.
You're scrolling.
Maybe it's late at night.
Maybe it's, you know, a
mindless moment when you're waiting
for someone to come meet
(14:09):
you at a car.
You're scrolling on your phone
and someone posts a success,
a confidence, something they wore,
something they said.
It just hits you wrong.
And you let either comparison
or criticism creep in.
It becomes like judgment, basically.
Who wore it best?
We're, like, trained to do
(14:30):
this.
Like, magazines, like, who wore
it best?
And it's like asking you
when there's two, you know,
beautiful humans wearing beautiful clothing
and they're asking you to
choose and therefore critique the
other.
When you're doing this and
pointing it either at yourself
or making comparison, maybe one
of the things you can
say (14:49):
"they're on their path,
I'm on mine, and mine
doesn't have to look like
theirs right now."
Or "let's find something positive
to say.
Let's point out some attribute
that doesn't allow this brain
to walk down the path
that I'm seeing myself going
toward."
Another scenario that we probably
(15:10):
all experience at times is
sort of the kitchen mess.
You know, it might be
post-dinner.
It might be just a
day.
It might be just, you
know, the chaos that is
life at times.
Maybe you meant to do
the dishes.
You didn't have time.
It's been a long day.
And you walk into that
messy kitchen.
(15:30):
You're like, "ugh, I dropped
the ball again or I
should have done this."
Everything just feels wrong because
you're looking at a messy
kitchen.
It seems like it's representing
or symbolic of so many
other things.
"I dropped the ball again."
"Pause.
Breathe."
I'm saying this to myself
at the moment.
(15:50):
Sometimes this happens to me.
This isn't ideal, what I'm
looking at.
This is not a moral
failing on my part.
It's just dinner.
It's just dishes.
I'm human.
We'll get through this.
Small shifts.
We're not correcting the world
with these.
And then there's others.
You know, it might be
your partner, your co-workers,
(16:11):
even your children at times.
This can really hit a
nerve for some.
An inner voice that might
make you say, "Seriously?! Again?!"
Or, "it's so unbelievable that
this person does X, Y,
Z."
Or (16:25):
"how can this happen?"
Or maybe it's about you
and them.
"They always do this.
Why do I even bother?"
"I always do this...
why do they even bother?"
I don't know.
But maybe you can try.
"You know what?
Something's really getting to me.
I need to take a
pause before I respond."
(16:45):
So this can be person
to person.
Or maybe just taking a
pause and saying, "let me
regroup on what I'm tending
toward, what I'm anchoring into,
what I'm moving toward.
Let me see if I
can rephrase this."
And finally, just one more.
This is about taking it
back to the Beginner's Mind.
(17:07):
Something that I talked about
very briefly in the last
episode.
A Zen practice of, instead
of being the expert on,
and you might relate to
this, at the moment, whatever
thing it is, it may
not even be your work,
your discipline, but you're the
one who knows what's wrong
and why.
The expert.
Try to stay open in
(17:28):
those moments.
The way that the car
is fixed, the way someone's
pumping their gas, the way
that someone takes out their
garbage.
All of a sudden, you're
the expert on how it
should be done.
And your critic comes out.
You may not verbalize it,
but you might be thinking
it.
Remember, we're going to pause.
And then be curious.
(17:49):
Use curiosity.
Use the Beginner's Mind.
Approach the moment with a
little more, maybe, humility?
But curiosity.
Let's use our curiosity and
a little less urgency to
try to solve or point
out, what's wrong with this
scenario?
Because after all, you're the
expert.
Which maybe you'll chuckle, because
(18:10):
that's the funny part.
A lot of us, when
we do that, and put
those words to it, we
go, of course I'm not
the expert on that.
But I never really thought
to open up to the
idea that there might be
other reasons that people do
what they do, right, wrong,
or otherwise, just different reasons.
And when you do that,
you get to say one
of my favorite two words,
(18:32):
"I wonder", instead of, I
know exactly what's going on.
I wonder.
And something shifts.
I wonder.
It's something my six-year
-old and I try to
practice every day when looking
at the world, open-eyed
and curiously, curiously, with curiosity.
I guess it's curiously at
the world at times.
Maybe that's a critical eye
(18:52):
coming in.
But with curiosity.
We literally have it up
on the wall in one
of our rooms.
"I wonder, dot, dot, dot."
And we've got the dot,
dot, dot after the ellipsis.
So it's pausing, shifting to
maybe "ack", still, like "ack!"
But more with like, "why
is this getting my goat
(19:13):
here?
I wonder."
Why?
Can you create some space,
maybe, for a little more
grace in that moment?
So these are the moments,
the little frictions, the quiet
corners of the day where
criticism slides in without a
sound.
We don't need to replace
them with beautiful rainbows and
affirmations, although we talk a
(19:35):
lot about rainbows and unicorns
in this house.
But just with something more
honest, maybe something more helpful,
a sentence that leaves space
instead of silence.
So the next tool for
your toolbox and practice that
you can use, the first
one was sort of swapping
in words and using language.
Now we're going to talk
(19:55):
about using gratitude and reframing.
And it's another tool that
I love, and it doesn't
sound fancy, gratitude, you hear
about it.
But it's one of the
most grounding tools that I
know, and it really is
a good practice, gratitude.
This isn't about the fancy
gratitude journal with gold pens
that you use at night,
(20:15):
which, by the way, are
amazing, and I really support
that and encourage expressing gratitude
as sort of your blessings
of the day and what
you can be thankful.
Those are really great, too.
But here I mean the
simple moments, the kind that
can happen anytime when you
take pause and on purpose.
(20:36):
So it's quiet, it's easy
to skip, but it can
shift your entire lens if
you practice it regularly.
Noticing just one thing that
went well, maybe in an
otherwise chaotic scenario, or a
moment that makes you smile
amidst other parts of that
hour, that day, that meal,
whatever it is.
(20:57):
Maybe one thing about a
frustrating situation.
This gets a little bit
more tricky, but so wonderful.
That's still somehow okay.
Something within a frustration or
frustrating situation, that's still okay.
And why is this important?
Because research has shown that
practicing gratitude actually changes the
ways our brains scan for
(21:17):
information.
So research back several years,
but much since as well,
by Emmons and McCullough, that's
research that dates back a
while, found that people who
wrote about things they were
grateful for even once a
week heightened well-being.
And in other words, being
more optimistic and feeling better
(21:38):
about their lives physically and
emotionally.
And other research has sort
of substantiated that further.
A big review sort of
confirmed this,
though they noted that it was
more about the frequency and
regularity, the consistency of expressing
gratitude that really started to
show up.
More than four times was
(22:01):
really key to showing up
for benefit.
So that could be once
a week over four weeks
or longer.
It could be multiple times
a day.
But it's about the impact
on our mood, our mental
health, especially feelings of stress
and depression, and also our
physical and overall well-being.
(22:22):
So that's a little bit
less clear in the research
science.
This is about expressing gratitude
frequently and consistently and its
impact on things like mood,
on stress, and physical well
-being.
So how do we do
this without the fancy journal?
How about shifting again or
(22:42):
using some of that word
shifting and thinking like instead
of "this meeting was a
disaster", the first scenario I
painted before, you might reframe
it and say, "well, that
was messy, but I got
through it."
Or "I'm proud of how
I handled that moment."
Then you take a breath,
and it's always good to
take the breath because it
(23:03):
helps sort of cleanse and
settle you to move forward.
So the expression of gratitude
doesn't have to like shift
and be artificial.
It's just within a moment,
is there something you can
be grateful for or identify
that you can be grateful
for?
Simple as that, you know,
that went well or amidst
turmoil, is there some saving
(23:26):
peace ?
And even just taking the
breath and moving forward is
something to be grateful for.
So as a final practice,
we explored gratitude just now.
We explored some language shifts,
and you can use those
in tandem.
Those are more active things
you can do after you
take that pause or as
you're taking that pause.
(23:47):
And there's one more practice
I want to mention here,
and it might be the
most subtle of all.
It allows us to sort
of zoom back out and
take a breath, take that
breath, and bring awareness to
the moment.
And it's simply noticing, being
aware, in the first place.
I could have put this
at the beginning of the practices,
(24:08):
but I actually wanted to
put it deliberately at the
end because it's good sometimes
to come out of the
actual scenarios and say, observing
what's happening, taking a look
at what's happening in your
thoughts and your body in
a moment without rushing to
judge it will make some
of the tools that I
gave you easier to practice.
(24:29):
It can slow you down
- the pace - and be really
the deepest part of allowing
us to think about what
might come next, start down
the path, either to criticism
or other.
What might come next?
It may not sound like
much, but it can be
(24:49):
powerful.
When you notice a critical
thought and you don't immediately
react to it, you've already
interrupted the cycle.
Think about that.
This kind of awareness is
at the heart of many
of the mindfulness traditions like
Taoist philosophy.
And there is this concept
of wu-wei, it's called,
(25:10):
about non-forcing.
It's a type of flow.
We talked about FLOWS in
a different way recently in
some episodes.
But a type of flow,
rather than reacting to control
or change something, a sort
of way, not an inaction,
but it's sort of referred
to as 'effortless action' in
(25:32):
Taoist thought, the wu-wei.
And it's learning to move
with the world a little
bit more with ease, but
with intention.
So let's think with intention,
but a little easier, without
over-correcting or resisting at
every turn.
And when I think of
that, even when I was
(25:53):
preparing for today, when I
just think of that, it
puts me more at ease.
It sounds nice.
And research backs this up
as well.
Studies show that present moment
awareness can reduce emotional reactivity
and also increase resilience, all
by helping us take that
(26:14):
pause before we speak or
act.
Psychologist and mindfulness teacher, Jon
Kabat-Zinn, you may have
heard of him, has written
extensively about this kind of
noticing as the foundation for
stress reduction and healing, simply
by paying attention on purpose
and without judgment.
(26:36):
So there we have it.
We have moved little by
little in a few practices
through and from critic to
curious to hopefully compassionate.
Is there hope for us?
Yes, I think that there
is.
What all these practices have
in common - the noticing, the
(26:57):
language shifts, the quiet moments
of gratitude - is that they
gently pull us out of
autopilot when it comes to
criticism.
They almost force the pause.
They allow us space to
choose.
And they remind us that
if criticism comes fast, kindness
(27:17):
can come just as easily
once we know where to
look.
Noticing.
This is a chance for
us to respond with curiosity,
"I wonder...", or compassion, or
even just with less urgency,
less reactivity.
Because it's not about walking
around being endlessly cheerful, although
(27:39):
I do like to be
around people who smile, but
I like it to be
authentic.
But it is about being
a little more spacious with
our reactions.
And sometimes you don't have
to say something positive to
do this.
You just have to say
something different than the criticism.
(27:59):
So when that critical voice
creeps up in the traffic,
in your commentary of other
people driving, in your conversation,
even when you're looking in
the mirror, take pause.
Use the acronym CLEAR, the
word I shared.
Catch it.
Let it pause.
Explore.
(28:19):
Ask.
This may be where you
evaluate your options and identify
which of the practices you'll
use.
And R for Reframe or
Release.
This is where you choose
to respond, whether to respond,
how you'll respond, which may
be in one of these
practices we talked about today.
(28:40):
Language.
Gratitude.
Choosing to release and let
it go.
So you might try a
language swap.
Try a breath.
Try reframing.
Try asking, "what else might
be true here?
I wonder..."
And turn it into a
moment of gratitude related, or
(29:00):
even into something else.
Just notice how you might
make a shift.
These are tiny changes, but
over time, they sort of
soften the hard edges of
the day and they create,
very importantly, they create more
space in your waking minutes
for the curiosity, for more
calm, and maybe even a
(29:22):
little more joy away from
the criticism and that comes
naturally.
So before we wrap up
this episode for today, I
think having a Mindful Minute
together could do us some
good and help us anchor
into what we talked about
today.
Help us get to that
next place and space where
we can start to do
(29:44):
something differently, when the move
to criticism can be shifted
at least some of the
time.
And just a reminder also,
you don't need to be
anywhere special or do anything
fancy to have a minute
of meditation or mindfulness.
You just need your breath
and a willingness to take
pause.
So rest your feet, ground
(30:06):
them on the floor.
If it feels safe, sort
of soften your gaze or
even close your eyes.
Let your shoulders relax, your
hands rest, and let's take
one full preparation breath together.
In through your nose, out
through the mouth, and we'll
(30:28):
begin our mindful minute now
together.
Just breathe.
(30:54):
If a thought comes up,
let it pass by like
a cloud and come back
to your breath.
Think to yourself, I'm showing
(31:16):
up in my life.
Sometimes it's harder, sometimes it's
easier, and I'm enough.
Take one last easy breath
in and gently out.
(31:37):
And that's it.
One moment shared to pause,
rest, renew.
Our mental energy can come
back into focus and see
what's possible in our waking
minutes each day.
Thank you for sharing that
Mindful Minute with me.
So today, we explored what
(31:58):
we can say instead of
criticism, how to soften our
inner voice, how to practice
something different, and how those
small shifts can really start
to change the tone of
our day.
And when you pair this
with some of the things
we talked about, like language
swaps, gratitude, or even just
(32:18):
mindful awareness, noticing, you're not
just avoiding criticism.
You're rewiring your response system.
You're actually creating new patterns
in the brain.
And this is where science
meets the practice because over
time, when you repeat a
pattern, catching, pausing, exploring, asking,
(32:42):
and choosing a better response,
that becomes your new groove.
Nerves that fire together, wire
together, is what neuroscientists say,
and you can get into
a new groove.
And that's not woo-woo,
that's neuroplasticity, literally.
Our brains can change.
And these small intentional practices
(33:03):
are the way we help
that happen.
And I think it's really
cool.
I hope you do too.
And it's definitely worth trying.
I'm so glad you spent
a few of your waking
minutes with me today.
Thank you for listening and
for practicing.
If you found something helpful
here, I'd love to hear
from you.
And I'd also love for
you to leave a comment
(33:24):
on your podcast channel and
send a note, or share
this episode with someone who
might appreciate the pause.
You can find me at
wendybazilian.com or write me
at 1KWM@wendybazilian.com.
I'm grateful to you.
And I'm Wendy Bazilian, your
podcast friend in pursuing a
(33:46):
life well-lived by thinking
about the choices we make
during our 1,000 waking
minutes each day.
Until next time, be well.
Thank you for tuning in
to 1,000 Waking Minutes,
a huge thank you to
our amazing collaborators, including our
production and marketing teams and
(34:06):
Gabriela Escalante in particular, to
the ultra talented Beza for
my theme music, my lifelong
friend and artist, Pearl Preis
Photography and Design, to Danielle
Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell,
and of course my family,
and everyone working tirelessly behind
the scenes.
And to you, our valued
listeners, I so appreciate your
(34:28):
support.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
please consider leaving a comment,
writing a review, and giving
1,000 Waking Minutes, that's
us, a five-star rating.
And please hit subscribe on
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever
you enjoy your podcasts.
Please follow and stay connected
at wendybazilian.com and don't
(34:49):
forget to share with your
friends.
Your support helps us grow
and bring you more great
content.
Until next time, find some
simple opportunities to optimize those
1,000 waking minutes each
day.
I'm saying yes to better
(35:09):
days, yes I'm on my
way, yes It's gonna be
okay, yeah I'm saying yes
to better days, yes I'm
on my way, yes It's
gonna be okay, yeah
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