December 18, 2024 • 38 mins
Small gestures of kindness can ripple out in ways that connect us, improve our well-being, and bring profound meaning to our lives. In this episode of 1,000 Waking Minutes, Dr. Wendy Bazilian dives into the power of everyday kindness—greetings, smiles, and thoughtful acts that brighten someone’s day while strengthening our collective bonds.
You’ll hear heartwarming stories, scientific insights, and practical tips to weave more kindness into your daily life. From a cheerful school custodian to profound research on the physiological and psychological benefits of kindness, this episode will leave you inspired to spend some of your 1,000 waking minutes making a difference.
Tune in to discover how small gestures can change the course of a day—for you and someone else.
FROM THE EPISODE:
"Isn’t it amazing how something as simple as sharing a smile or saying ‘Good morning’ can change the entire course of a day—for someone else and for you?"
WE DISCUSS:
(1:10) Small gestures that have a big impact on connection
(5:32) Personal stories: A school custodian, a childhood teacher, and simple greetings
(14:22) The science behind kindness: How it enhances happiness, health, and even attractiveness
(22:56) A Mindful Minute: Using breath to set an intention for kindness
(28:24) Practical ways to bring more kindness into your 1,000 waking minutes
(35:45) A question to ponder and reflect on
(36:04) Closing remarks and gratitude to my team and you for joining me on this journey
CONNECT WITH WENDY
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Email me at: 1KWM@wendybazilian.com
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Thank you for tuning in to 1,000 Waking Minutes and being part of this journey–together. A huge thank you to our amazing collaborators including our production and marketing teams and Gabriela Escalante in particular. To the ultra-talented Beza for my theme music, my lifelong friend and artist Pearl Preis Photography and Design, to Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course, my family and everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.
Health Disclaimer: The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered individual medical or health advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or medical treatment.
REFERENCES
Curry, O. S., Rowland, L., Van Lissa, C. J., Zlotowitz, S., McAlaney, J., PhD, & Whitehouse, H. (2016, September 21). Happy to Help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor. https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/ytj5s
Kononov, N., & Ein-Gar, D. (2024). Prosocial behaviour enhances evaluation of physical beauty. British Journal of Social Psychology, 00, 1–23. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjso.12800
Kumar, A., & Epley, N. (2018). Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Isn't it amazing how something
as simple as sharing a
smile or a "good morning"
with someone can change the
entire course of a day,
theirs and yours?
These are the moments that
remind us we're all connected.
We experience 1,000 waking minutes
on average every day.
(00:21):
How are you spending yours?
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and
you're listening to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I can't wait to connect
with you here with practical
ways to eat well, move
daily and be healthy, to
optimize every waking minute you
live for a happier, healthier
life.
Thank you for sharing some
of your waking minutes with
me today.
(00:42):
Let's get started.
I'm saying yes to better
days.
Yes.
I'm on my way.
Yes.
It's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
(01:02):
Hello and welcome to 1,000
Waking Minutes.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and
I'm so glad you're here.
Today we're exploring something so
simple yet so impactful (01:13):
the
power of greetings, of small
gestures and everyday kindness.
These are the little things
like saying "good morning" or
holding the door open for
a colleague or a stranger
or even a quick "happy
(01:35):
holidays,"
as I say to you
today, they may seem small,
but they can ripple out
and create big connections in
our lives.
Over the years, I've really
come to appreciate the beauty
in the small moments that
bring us together like everyday
gestures that build this connection,
(01:55):
even without realizing it at
times.
I've always been someone who
loves to say "hello," walking
down the street.
I find myself in cities
sometimes getting a joyous hello
or someone lifting their head
to smile and return to
look at me curiously. Whatever
(02:16):
the case, it makes me
feel good and it's just
my nature.
I've also been sort of
trained into it over the
years and just like all
habits, often there are practices
that you might engage in
and if you do them
on a repeated basis, you
get better at them and
they just happen -
they become part of your
(02:37):
you.
And because I was a
general manager of operations for
a time in my early
profession at a busy European
style cafe in the area,
this was a cafe and
coffee house.
It was bustling all the
time.
I was charged with getting
the live music on the
weekends.
(02:57):
We had very long hours
and that was hospitality to
make and delight the customers
and hopefully leave them wanting
to come back having had
a good time.
Also spending over a decade
at a destination spa with
a very high return rate...
you got to know people
(03:18):
and it was expected of
us, but it was also
something that was inherent in
the culture and the spirit
of the place to be
kind, to look up, to
say, "how may I help
you" to say "good day."
And so the practices sort
of make it habitual.
But I admit, like all
(03:39):
of us at times, when
your nose is down and
you're bustling and busy trying
to get from point A
to point B, sometimes we
forget or we don't really
recognize the real impact that
those small gestures can have
on others, but also ourselves.
(04:00):
So when the holidays roll
around, and there are a
lot of holidays throughout the
year, so I like to
celebrate them all, but I'm
always reminded how powerful it
is to pause and greet
the world around me.
I love that we have
sayings that we can deploy,
that we can use to
complete strangers.
(04:20):
So I try to be
the first to say happy
holidays, not as a competition,
but just there for it,
no matter what the holiday
is.
I love the way holidays
sort of give us permission
to greet each other warmly,
as if we could do
it every day and we
should do it every day.
Even if we don't know
the person, we can exchange
(04:41):
smiles, greetings, and we can
engage small acts of kindness,
and it tends to bubble
up around holidays.
We can greet those people
we don't even know with
heartfelt like happy holidays or
happy new year, or even
a more hearty good morning.
And even day to day,
(05:01):
if you think about you
hear someone sneeze and you
say, what do you say?
You say, bless you when
someone sneezes or another version.
These moments are more just,
more than just, I should
say, surface level interactions.
They remind us that we're
part of something bigger.
We are part of a
(05:22):
community.
We are aware of others
around us.
And as humans, we're better
together as a collective.
So I want to share
a couple of stories that have
stayed with me.
And I bet a story
of a person will come
to your mind that will
give you a smile as
well in your life as
(05:43):
we embark on today's episode
about the small gestures and
the acts of kindness and
what they can do for
our lives.
First, there's Mr. Russell.
He's the custodian at my
daughter's school who just actually
last week retired after a
wonderful career.
Every single school day, he's
(06:05):
the guy that would greet
everyone.
It wasn't his role.
It wasn't his responsibility.
It wasn't, I'm sure, in
his job description.
But he was a guy
who would be there walking
around the PE field, landing
himself at the top of
the staircase as all the
kids and parents and teachers
file in for school.
(06:26):
Every single school day, he
would greet everyone.
The kids, parents, teachers, anyone
who walked in his path.
And he would greet them
with such cheer and happiness.
He has this booming voice.
He's a big personality and
an energy that makes you
feel welcomed and seen.
(06:48):
Every day, no matter how
busy or chaotic a school
drop off can be, and
if you're a parent, you
know what that's like.
His greeting would cut through
the noise and lift everyone's
spirit.
And since I met him
and was sort of reintroduced
to 'that person' [who greets you with openness] at a
school, he brought back to
(07:08):
my mind someone from my
own childhood and even at
my own elementary school growing
up in Avon, Connecticut.
There was this teacher.
His name was Mr. Simms.
And I actually forget what
he taught.
He wasn't a direct teacher
of mine.
He may have been a
speech counselor, if I recall.
(07:30):
And he made it his
mission to greet every student
with warmth, similar to Mr.
Russell.
In particular, on Friday afternoons,
I just remember him always
standing outside where the buses
would roll up and we'd
be leaving to get on
the buses.
And he cheerfully announced, "Monday
(07:52):
is fun day.
Monday is fun day.
Don't forget.
Monday is fun day" as
a way to sort of
usher us into the weekend
and remind us that the
school week was exciting to
come back to.
Decades later, that memory makes
me smile deeply in my
(08:13):
body, on my face as
well.
And it wasn't just words.
It was a feeling of
being cared for, of being
valued and noticed.
I didn't know it at
the time.
You know, it was sort
of one of those silly
things that you just live
through.
But it has impact.
And I feel like we
all have stories, if you
tap them, of those instances
(08:33):
where there's impact in the
small gestures.
And by the way, if
there are any childhood friends
listening, feel free to correct
me or corroborate my story
on this memory.
So these moments, these small
gestures are the heart of
today's episode.
They remind us that we're
all part of something bigger.
(08:54):
We're all connected.
And like I said, we're
better together.
So let's explore by way
of some stories.
And the holiday time is
the perfect time to do
this.
We'll look at the science
and also ways, practical ways
that we can bring more
kindness to the lives of
others and also ourself within
(09:17):
our 1,000 waking minutes
each day.
The holiday season feels like
the perfect time to talk
about kindness, really.
Anytime's a good time.
But the holiday time, because
it naturally invites more opportunities
for connection.
If you think about it,
this is a time of
year that sort of opens
(09:37):
the door to say things
like, "happy holidays", "happy new
year."
"Are you traveling over the
holidays?"
"Have you gotten your Christmas
tree?"
Even with people that we
may not usually speak to
on a frequent basis or
regularly at all.
This is a time when
many people send cards.
We tip our baristas at
the coffee shops.
(09:57):
We even give gifts to
our mail carriers.
I've noticed some neighbors in
my area, they put out
baskets with snacks and water
for the UPS and the
FedEx and the Amazon drivers.
There's something so thoughtful about
this.
It's the small connections to
reach out.
Even if you don't physically
(10:19):
engage with that human being,
we tend to say thank
you or look up and
engage, it seems to me,
a little bit more during
this season.
And there's magic in these
moments.
Wouldn't you agree?
So one of my favorite
things is sending holiday cards.
So in our house, we
often send New Year's cards.
(10:40):
And in fact, we have
a long tradition of sending
Lunar New Year's cards, which
comes a little bit later,
usually late January or sometime
in February.
That's another story for another
time.
But I also love receiving
them just as much as
I like sending them.
Although I know that many
people have sort of reduced
(11:01):
this tradition for environmental reasons
or to recapture some personal
time.
It is time intensive to
do this, which I completely
respect.
What really matters is the
reach out, you know, the
greeting of the season.
It could be paper, electronic,
even a phone call.
But there's something so heartfelt
(11:21):
about taking the time to
say hello.
And it seems like holiday
times sort of re-ups
that invitation to do so.
Writing a note to someone,
a family member, a friend
you haven't seen in a
little while or even in
years, or someone who's had
impact on your life, like
a teacher or mentor, reminds
(11:43):
us that the connections that
matter most are in these
small acts at times.
And it holds a lot
of meaning.
If you've ever received a
letter from someone like that
or an out of the
blue reconnection, you can know
what it feels like already.
You can probably tap that
memory and it'll probably actually
bring back a very real
(12:05):
physical feeling inside.
It's one of the things
that makes both sender and
receiver feel seen and valued
and remembered.
And that's the beauty of
the season.
It gives us moments to
pause and to reach out.
There's a poem I came
across recently that deeply resonated
with me related to this
(12:26):
very topic because it captured
the idea and the observation
that I've sort of held
inside, or maybe not been
able to articulate well, about
gestures to others.
It's called Small Kindnesses by
Danusha Lameris.
It captures these moments so
beautifully.
(12:46):
So I'd like to read
just a few lines to
you.
She writes, "I've been thinking
about the way when you
walk down a crowded aisle,
people pull in their legs
to let you by.
Or how strangers still say
bless you when someone sneezes.
A leftover from the bubonic
(13:07):
plague.
Don't die, we are saying."
Isn't that incredible?
The idea that simple bless
you carries so much history
and connection.
So she continues with saying,
"And sometimes when you spill
lemons from your grocery bag,
someone else will help you
pick them up."
And then this part really
(13:27):
struck me.
"Mostly, we don't want to
harm each other.
We want to be handed
our cup of coffee hot
and to say thank you
to the person handing it.
To smile at them and
for them to smile back."
So I think there's something
really profound here in these
(13:48):
small exchanges.
These gestures, again, may seem
tiny in the moment, but
they're profound in how they
stitch us together as a
community and as human beings.
Holding the door open, offering
the kind word, or lending
a helping hand.
These may seem rather insignificant
in isolation, but they do
(14:10):
create a ripple effect that
can transform a day, transform
a team, and hold us
together as a community.
And that's the heart of
today's message.
Now, let's dig into the
science, because you know I
love bringing research into our
conversations.
Here's what we know about
(14:31):
kindness and why it matters.
Research has shown that simple
acts of kindness and everyday
greetings, generosity, can significantly enhance
social connections and individual well
-being.
So here are some key
findings, the returns on investment,
(14:51):
or ROIs, the benefits, in
other words, from the peer
-reviewed research.
Number one (14:58):
kindness enhances happiness.
A comprehensive review by the
University of Oxford concluded that
engaging in kind acts leads
to a modest yet significant
increase in subjective well-being.
This study suggests that even
small gestures can boost happiness
(15:20):
for both the giver, in
particular, the person performing the
act of kindness, and although
not specifically evaluated in this
study, but in others, you
can imagine the effect is
also positive for the receiver.
And though you can't predict
when you will be on
the receiving end, we can
(15:41):
choose to be on the
kindness-spreading side to bring
that personal gift back to
us and bring the joy
and value and the 'being
seen' moment to the person
receiving.
So kindness brings happiness.
Number two (15:59):
this is good
news because other research has
looked at the impact on
others, and I want to
report and also reinforce that
the impact of kindness on
others is high.
It makes a difference, and
studies have shown that boosting
mood is just one of
(16:21):
the many benefits that the
receiver gets when you choose
to gesture and give a
small act of kindness to
another.
This may seem obvious, of
course, but researchers report that
we actually tend to underestimate
its magnitude or how much
we think it's valued by
(16:42):
others.
Research published in the Journal
of Experimental Psychology from the
University of Chicago Booth School
of Business found that individuals -
evaluating nearly 1,000 of
them across multiple experiments of
performing random acts of kindness,
so think doing something for
(17:02):
others kindly, nicely, with generosity,
and not expecting anything in
return - that the people doing
the acts of kindness often
underestimate the positive impact that
their kind actions actually have.
And amazingly, sort of sadly,
(17:23):
really, this miscalculation of predicting
the level of the recipient's
joy and value received can
deter people from engaging in
acts of kindness.
These pro-social behaviors are
called in the literature, or
that kindness extended 'just because',
(17:44):
despite the substantial benefits to
both.
So I want you to
think about this and help
me spread the word.
Don't underestimate its effects.
In other words, spread the
word as you spread the
kindness, and we'll all benefit.
The third piece of reinforcement
I want to share is
(18:05):
that the net effect, these
acts of kindness, is something
we all do.
This is a human thing,
and it's universal.
People around the globe in
fact, engage and help each
other out, on average, about
every two minutes, according to
some research that I read.
(18:25):
In a multi-country study
published in Scientific Reports just
last year by Giovanni Rossi
and colleagues, they observed that
people agreed to helping out,
- saying "yes" when asked - with
small requests nearly 80%
of the time versus declining.
So they say "yes."
(18:46):
These are the small gestures
or requests like, "could you
hold the door?"
Or "could you help for
a moment?"
Far more did they say
yes than saying no.
We are a species, our
human being species, that we're
largely built on cooperation.
And I'm so relieved to
(19:06):
report this, and it's so
cool that science shows this.
And from this high rate
of compliance, let me put
it that way, saying "yes"
when asked, it does appear
that kindness really is universal.
It makes me think of
my theme song to the
podcast.
"I'm saying yes for better
(19:27):
days.
Yes, I'm on my way.
Yes, it's gonna be okay.
Yeah."
So we say "yes" when
asked, and I think that
that's really cool.
And kindness is universal.
Next up (19:41):
can engaging in
acts of kindness make you
more attractive?
I ask you this.
Well, it appears so.
And sort of, can you
believe we've studied that?
Research from Tel Aviv University
published just this year in
the British Journal of Social
Psychology indicates that prosocial traits,
(20:03):
so things like kindness and
altruism, can enhance perceived physical
attractiveness.
In other words, kind people
are seen as more physically
attractive by others.
And what's more, and I
think this is interesting, this
effect is comparable to, or
(20:26):
even surpasses, the impact of
traits like humor or intelligence
on perceived attractiveness.
So 'wow' to that one.
But being kind or being
generous and warm can increase
physical appeal to others, more
so than being smart or
(20:47):
being funny, though we know
that those have been linked
too.
Sort of cool.
And I'd be remiss with
this final benefit that I'd
like to share for today,
not to mention the physical
benefit as well.
Beyond the psychological perks of
being kind - the boost to
our mood, feeling connected and
(21:08):
warm - research has also linked
helping others and being generous
to better physical health.
In one study in Health
Psychology, older adults who spent
money on others versus themselves
had lower blood pressure, both
systolic and diastolic in this
particular study.
(21:29):
And other research has shown
that performing acts of kindness -
being sharing and caring and
generous - showed improvements in their
immune system profile too at
the genetic and blood level.
And that's a little bit
of 'wow' to add to
the mix.
Blood pressure, immune system, mood,
(21:51):
attractiveness..., there's nothing to lose.
So considering all these findings,
we can say that these
studies collectively demonstrate and support
the notion that simple everyday
gestures can foster social cohesion
and enhance individual well-being.
And they've shown to have
(22:12):
physical benefits too, like lowering
blood pressure.
That's a big one because
many of us are contending
with that and hopefully either
medically managed or medically and
managed with lifestyle.
All of these emphasize the
profound impact of small acts
of kindness.
And here's my favorite part:
(22:34):
acts of kindness can trigger
the release of oxytocin, which
is also known as the
bonding hormone.
So it makes us feel
connected to others as well.
These small moments of kindness
aren't just feel good, they're
biologically hardwired to bring us
closer together.
(22:55):
Now is the part of
this episode where we're going
to share a Mindful Minute
together.
If you've been here before,
you know how this works.
I'll guide you through a
little bit of setup, let
you know when we're starting,
and then begin the clock.
At the end, we'll take
a moment to reflect together.
Sometimes the idea of mindfulness
(23:17):
can feel a bit abstract
or even 'out there' for
some people.
But Thich Nhat Hanh, the
Buddhist monk and renowned teacher
of mindfulness, distills mindfulness into
its purest, simplest form.
He suggests that with each
breath, you are actually cultivating
(23:38):
mindfulness by the fact that
you are aware of the
present moment.
In other words, awareness of
breath is the essence of
mindfulness.
He is a man of
many profound quotes, but another
that is tied closely to
the theme of today is
the quote where he says,
(23:58):
"Breathing in, I am aware
of the interconnectedness of all
beings.
Breathing out, I send peace
to the world."
And that's what we'll do
today in our Mindful Minute.
And that's what we do
when we offer gestures of
kindness outward to others.
(24:18):
We are aware of the
interconnectedness and we send peace,
aka 'we offer kindness' to
the world.
And it's such a powerful
idea because it brings mindfulness
down to the most human
accessible level (24:32):
our breath.
So today we'll use that
awareness as a way to
pause, reflect, and connect with
ourselves.
So to start, I invite
you to find a comfortable
position, sit with your feet
flat on the ground, adjust
them if you need to,
or if your legs are
crossed.
(24:53):
If you're standing, that's okay
too, but make sure your
weight feels balanced.
Relax your shoulders, soften your
jaw.
And if you'd like, close
your eyes or just gaze
softly in front of you
a slight angle downward, maybe
45 degrees.
Take a deep breath in
and let's let it out
(25:14):
slowly just to get a
practice breath in and set
ourselves up.
Breathe in, breathe out.
As we begin, I'll invite
you to think the word
'GOOD' on your inhale and
'DAY' on your exhale today.
(25:36):
'GOOD DAY,'
in other words. This is
not just a greeting,
this is an intention.
So let's try that once.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
Exhale, 'DAY'.
One more time.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
(25:58):
Exhale, 'DAY'.
Now let's begin the clock.
(26:27):
GOOD DAY.
Stay with your breath.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
Exhale, 'DAY'.
(26:57):
Just a few more moments
here.
And that's our Mindful Minute.
Take one last deep breath
in and let it out
slowly.
(27:17):
Open your eyes if you
haven't already.
And let's reflect.
When we say 'Good day',
it's one of those small
gestures of kindness.
A greeting we offer to
someone else.
But you know what I
like even more about it?
It's the intention for yourself.
When you say 'good day',
(27:39):
you're not just offering the
kindness to another person.
You're also setting the tone
for the day you're creating
around you.
You're stating with conviction - it's
GOOD DAY - the kind of
day you want to have.
The possibility, the intention, the
energy you're bringing into the
(27:59):
world.
So think about how that
may have felt to you.
What came to mind during
that Mindful Minute.
This simple practice reminds us
to pause, to notice, and
to carry kindness forward in
our day,
for others and doing some
self-care for ourselves.
(28:20):
Thank you for sharing that
Mindful Minute with me today.
So how can we bring
this to life in your
and my waking minutes today
and this week?
Here are some simple practical
ways to start adding a
little more kindness to your
life and others' lives too.
(28:40):
Remember the title of this
podcast, 1,000 Waking Minutes.
That's a reminder that time
is life's currency and how
we spend it matters.
The benefits of these small
gestures will have great payoff
for just seconds shared and
spent in your day.
Number one (28:59):
greet with intention.
Just like we practice in
our mindful minute.
Say "good morning", "happy holidays",
or even just "thank you",
but don't rush it.
Say it like ya' mean
it, with intention.
A simple heartfelt greeting can
turn someone's day around, literally.
(29:22):
If you say bless you
or salud or gesundheit, the
latter two literally offering the
word 'health', like wishing someone
good health, to that person,
look at the person for
a moment.
Find a way when you
say it.
Even try to connect eyes.
Number two (29:40):
hold the door
or offer the spot.
Look for opportunities to grab
the door for someone.
It can be almost like
a game.
It can be really fun,
even if they're a little
farther away than usual.
Or let someone go ahead
of you in line at
the coffee shop, the grocery
store, anywhere.
These tiny moments can create
(30:02):
ripples of connection.
Third (30:04):
reach out in writing.
Write a holiday card, write
a text, even an email
that you think about to
someone you care about.
It could be as simple
as "thinking of you and
wishing you a happy season!"
It's just a small act,
but it can be powerful,
especially when it's sort of
on the unexpected.
(30:26):
Both for you, because you
feel good for having done
it, and for them when
they see you pop up
in their inbox or literally
receive a stamped envelope in
the mail alongside all the
other flyers and political banners
and catalogs and whatnot.
Next (30:43):
make a call.
So this is another way
to connect and spread kindness.
Pick up the phone and
call someone you haven't spoken
to in a while, even
if you only have a
couple minutes.
It might feel old-fashioned,
but there's nothing like hearing
a familiar voice on the
other end.
(31:04):
Something I started doing recently
was when I'm crafting an
email sometimes, even to a
business colleague that I have
become friendly with over time,
sometimes I'm mid-sentence, and
I just pick up the
phone and see if they're
there.
It sort of gives me
an opportunity to think about
(31:24):
a new way to connect,
and once in a while,
I get them.
Once in a while, it's
sort of like a quick,
"oh, hi! So good to
hear your voice.
I'm sending you an email...",
and you can cover off
at that moment or say,
"hey, can't talk now, but
so good to hear your
voice."
That's something that I've done
recently.
Another practical way that you
can spread kindness and benefit
(31:46):
is to go the extra
mile if you can.
If you're in the position
to do so - don't stretch
yourself if you're not - but
you might buy a coffee
for the person behind you
in line, or go out
of your way to help
someone in need, whether it's
offering to carry their groceries,
(32:06):
paying for a meal, or
just listening - taking some extra
minutes, even if you were
in a hurry - but taking
extra minutes if someone needs
to talk.
These are the gestures that
people remember - you too! - and
why the 'pay it forward'
stories seem to capture and
attract our interests and resonate
with so many of us.
(32:28):
Next one's really simple:
Share a smile.
Smile at a stranger.
Yes, smiling is contagious.
Even if they don't smile
back, you can smile inside
having tried.
You're planting a little seed
of kindness into the world,
and it will grow.
So the idea of all
of these - I kept it
(32:50):
really simple because it is
simple...
try not to overthink it -
just find one small way
each day to spread a
little kindness.
It might feel small in
the moment.
You might feel funny if
you're doing something new that
you haven't done before and
trying it, but believe me,
and you probably already know,
it makes a difference.
(33:11):
It can transform someone's day,
and it might just transform
you too.
So how will you spend
a few of your 1,000
waking minutes this week?
Maybe in ways that build
kindness, connection, and a little
bit of joy for the
people around you.
(33:31):
So what's it going to
be?
My little challenge to you
to consider this week is
how you're going to put
this practice into your life
or amplify it.
And as you start thinking
about that, let me share
a quick story that's been
on my mind as I
was planning this episode.
Earlier this week, I was
driving my daughter to school,
(33:53):
and we were chatting, and
I shared - we were just
chit-chatting, getting ready for
the day, and I shared -
that I was planning this
episode about small gestures of
kindness, and she's in kindergarten.
And as kids often do,
she has this beautifully simple
and yet also poetic way
of looking at the world.
So I asked her, I
(34:13):
said, "what kind of gestures
or greetings you like to
say to others?"
And without skipping a beat
to pause, she said, "I
say hello, and then I
smile at people."
I followed up curious, "...and
how does that make you
feel when they respond?
What do they say back?"
She thought for a second
(34:34):
and then told me, "it
makes me feel warm inside."
But what struck me was
what happened next.
She looked up to me
and asked, "Mom, how do
you feel when someone says
a gesture or a hello
to you?"
Now, I wasn't surprised she
turned the question back to
me, but I hadn't really
(34:55):
thought about it in that
moment.
And I paused and I
said something like, "I guess
it makes me feel warm,
too.
And I think what it
makes me feel is like
I'm being seen and that
I matter."
And you know what?
It really struck me deeply.
(35:16):
It's striking me now.
I'm welling up in tears.
It's true.
A small gesture like a
smile or hello or a
thank you can create a
profound feeling in the middle
of a big, busy world,
- in a moment - that you've
been seen and you've been
acknowledged.
And maybe you don't even
know how to articulate it
(35:37):
at the moment.
But where you matter, wow,
that's not small at all.
That's extraordinary.
So what's your gesture of
kindness going to be this
week?
Your small gesture of kindness
could be a greeting or
a smile, a simple thank
you.
And know that it's creating
a ripple effect and letting
(35:59):
others - and you - know they
matter.
So before we wrap up,
I'd like to just take
a moment to recap on
today's episode.
We explored the power of
small gestures, the kind that
brightens someone's day and reminds
them that they're seen.
From simple greetings like 'good
(36:20):
morning' to intentional acts of
kindness about how these moments
can connect us and bring
meaning to our lives.
And we looked at how
spending just a few of
our 1,000 waking minutes a
day on kindness can make
a big difference to our
psychological and physical health personally,
(36:43):
not just for others, which
is usually why we're initiating
in the first place.
But it brings it back
to us, too.
Thank you for sharing a
few of your waking minutes
with me today.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
I look forward to continuing
to building these connections together,
one kindness at a time.
(37:04):
Until next time, 'good day'
and be well.
Thank you for tuning in
to 1,000 Waking Minutes.
A huge thank you to
our amazing collaborators, including our
production and marketing teams and
Gabriela Escalante in particular, to
the ultra talented Beza for
(37:25):
my theme music, my lifelong
friend and artist, Pearl Preis
Photography and Design, to Daniel
Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell,
and of course, my family
and everyone working tirelessly behind
the scenes and to you,
our valued listeners,
I so appreciate your support.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
please consider leaving a comment,
(37:47):
writing a review and giving
1,000 Waking Minutes - that's us! -
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And please hit subscribe on
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Please follow and stay connected
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And don't forget to share
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Your support helps us grow
and bring you more great
(38:08):
content.
Until next time, find some
simple opportunities to optimize those
1,000 Waking Minutes each day.
Isn't it amazing how something
as simple as sharing a
smile or a "good morning"
with someone can change the
entire course of a day,
theirs and yours?
These are the moments that
remind us we're all connected.
We experience 1,000 waking minutes
on average every day.
(00:21):
How are you spending yours?
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and
you're listening to 1,000 Waking
Minutes.
I can't wait to connect
with you here with practical
ways to eat well, move
daily and be healthy, to
optimize every waking minute you
live for a happier, healthier
life.
Thank you for sharing some
of your waking minutes with
me today.
(00:42):
Let's get started.
I'm saying yes to better
days.
Yes.
I'm on my way.
Yes.
It's gonna be okay.
Yeah.
(01:02):
Hello and welcome to 1,000
Waking Minutes.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and
I'm so glad you're here.
Today we're exploring something so
simple yet so impactful (01:13):
the
power of greetings, of small
gestures and everyday kindness.
These are the little things
like saying "good morning" or
holding the door open for
a colleague or a stranger
or even a quick "happy
(01:35):
holidays,"
as I say to you
today, they may seem small,
but they can ripple out
and create big connections in
our lives.
Over the years, I've really
come to appreciate the beauty
in the small moments that
bring us together like everyday
gestures that build this connection,
(01:55):
even without realizing it at
times.
I've always been someone who
loves to say "hello," walking
down the street.
I find myself in cities
sometimes getting a joyous hello
or someone lifting their head
to smile and return to
look at me curiously. Whatever
(02:16):
the case, it makes me
feel good and it's just
my nature.
I've also been sort of
trained into it over the
years and just like all
habits, often there are practices
that you might engage in
and if you do them
on a repeated basis, you
get better at them and
they just happen -
they become part of your
(02:37):
you.
And because I was a
general manager of operations for
a time in my early
profession at a busy European
style cafe in the area,
this was a cafe and
coffee house.
It was bustling all the
time.
I was charged with getting
the live music on the
weekends.
(02:57):
We had very long hours
and that was hospitality to
make and delight the customers
and hopefully leave them wanting
to come back having had
a good time.
Also spending over a decade
at a destination spa with
a very high return rate...
you got to know people
(03:18):
and it was expected of
us, but it was also
something that was inherent in
the culture and the spirit
of the place to be
kind, to look up, to
say, "how may I help
you" to say "good day."
And so the practices sort
of make it habitual.
But I admit, like all
(03:39):
of us at times, when
your nose is down and
you're bustling and busy trying
to get from point A
to point B, sometimes we
forget or we don't really
recognize the real impact that
those small gestures can have
on others, but also ourselves.
(04:00):
So when the holidays roll
around, and there are a
lot of holidays throughout the
year, so I like to
celebrate them all, but I'm
always reminded how powerful it
is to pause and greet
the world around me.
I love that we have
sayings that we can deploy,
that we can use to
complete strangers.
(04:20):
So I try to be
the first to say happy
holidays, not as a competition,
but just there for it,
no matter what the holiday
is.
I love the way holidays
sort of give us permission
to greet each other warmly,
as if we could do
it every day and we
should do it every day.
Even if we don't know
the person, we can exchange
(04:41):
smiles, greetings, and we can
engage small acts of kindness,
and it tends to bubble
up around holidays.
We can greet those people
we don't even know with
heartfelt like happy holidays or
happy new year, or even
a more hearty good morning.
And even day to day,
(05:01):
if you think about you
hear someone sneeze and you
say, what do you say?
You say, bless you when
someone sneezes or another version.
These moments are more just,
more than just, I should
say, surface level interactions.
They remind us that we're
part of something bigger.
We are part of a
(05:22):
community.
We are aware of others
around us.
And as humans, we're better
together as a collective.
So I want to share
a couple of stories that have
stayed with me.
And I bet a story
of a person will come
to your mind that will
give you a smile as
well in your life as
(05:43):
we embark on today's episode
about the small gestures and
the acts of kindness and
what they can do for
our lives.
First, there's Mr. Russell.
He's the custodian at my
daughter's school who just actually
last week retired after a
wonderful career.
Every single school day, he's
(06:05):
the guy that would greet
everyone.
It wasn't his role.
It wasn't his responsibility.
It wasn't, I'm sure, in
his job description.
But he was a guy
who would be there walking
around the PE field, landing
himself at the top of
the staircase as all the
kids and parents and teachers
file in for school.
(06:26):
Every single school day, he
would greet everyone.
The kids, parents, teachers, anyone
who walked in his path.
And he would greet them
with such cheer and happiness.
He has this booming voice.
He's a big personality and
an energy that makes you
feel welcomed and seen.
(06:48):
Every day, no matter how
busy or chaotic a school
drop off can be, and
if you're a parent, you
know what that's like.
His greeting would cut through
the noise and lift everyone's
spirit.
And since I met him
and was sort of reintroduced
to 'that person' [who greets you with openness] at a
school, he brought back to
(07:08):
my mind someone from my
own childhood and even at
my own elementary school growing
up in Avon, Connecticut.
There was this teacher.
His name was Mr. Simms.
And I actually forget what
he taught.
He wasn't a direct teacher
of mine.
He may have been a
speech counselor, if I recall.
(07:30):
And he made it his
mission to greet every student
with warmth, similar to Mr.
Russell.
In particular, on Friday afternoons,
I just remember him always
standing outside where the buses
would roll up and we'd
be leaving to get on
the buses.
And he cheerfully announced, "Monday
(07:52):
is fun day.
Monday is fun day.
Don't forget.
Monday is fun day" as
a way to sort of
usher us into the weekend
and remind us that the
school week was exciting to
come back to.
Decades later, that memory makes
me smile deeply in my
(08:13):
body, on my face as
well.
And it wasn't just words.
It was a feeling of
being cared for, of being
valued and noticed.
I didn't know it at
the time.
You know, it was sort
of one of those silly
things that you just live
through.
But it has impact.
And I feel like we
all have stories, if you
tap them, of those instances
(08:33):
where there's impact in the
small gestures.
And by the way, if
there are any childhood friends
listening, feel free to correct
me or corroborate my story
on this memory.
So these moments, these small
gestures are the heart of
today's episode.
They remind us that we're
all part of something bigger.
(08:54):
We're all connected.
And like I said, we're
better together.
So let's explore by way
of some stories.
And the holiday time is
the perfect time to do
this.
We'll look at the science
and also ways, practical ways
that we can bring more
kindness to the lives of
others and also ourself within
(09:17):
our 1,000 waking minutes
each day.
The holiday season feels like
the perfect time to talk
about kindness, really.
Anytime's a good time.
But the holiday time, because
it naturally invites more opportunities
for connection.
If you think about it,
this is a time of
year that sort of opens
(09:37):
the door to say things
like, "happy holidays", "happy new
year."
"Are you traveling over the
holidays?"
"Have you gotten your Christmas
tree?"
Even with people that we
may not usually speak to
on a frequent basis or
regularly at all.
This is a time when
many people send cards.
We tip our baristas at
the coffee shops.
(09:57):
We even give gifts to
our mail carriers.
I've noticed some neighbors in
my area, they put out
baskets with snacks and water
for the UPS and the
FedEx and the Amazon drivers.
There's something so thoughtful about
this.
It's the small connections to
reach out.
Even if you don't physically
(10:19):
engage with that human being,
we tend to say thank
you or look up and
engage, it seems to me,
a little bit more during
this season.
And there's magic in these
moments.
Wouldn't you agree?
So one of my favorite
things is sending holiday cards.
So in our house, we
often send New Year's cards.
(10:40):
And in fact, we have
a long tradition of sending
Lunar New Year's cards, which
comes a little bit later,
usually late January or sometime
in February.
That's another story for another
time.
But I also love receiving
them just as much as
I like sending them.
Although I know that many
people have sort of reduced
(11:01):
this tradition for environmental reasons
or to recapture some personal
time.
It is time intensive to
do this, which I completely
respect.
What really matters is the
reach out, you know, the
greeting of the season.
It could be paper, electronic,
even a phone call.
But there's something so heartfelt
(11:21):
about taking the time to
say hello.
And it seems like holiday
times sort of re-ups
that invitation to do so.
Writing a note to someone,
a family member, a friend
you haven't seen in a
little while or even in
years, or someone who's had
impact on your life, like
a teacher or mentor, reminds
(11:43):
us that the connections that
matter most are in these
small acts at times.
And it holds a lot
of meaning.
If you've ever received a
letter from someone like that
or an out of the
blue reconnection, you can know
what it feels like already.
You can probably tap that
memory and it'll probably actually
bring back a very real
(12:05):
physical feeling inside.
It's one of the things
that makes both sender and
receiver feel seen and valued
and remembered.
And that's the beauty of
the season.
It gives us moments to
pause and to reach out.
There's a poem I came
across recently that deeply resonated
with me related to this
(12:26):
very topic because it captured
the idea and the observation
that I've sort of held
inside, or maybe not been
able to articulate well, about
gestures to others.
It's called Small Kindnesses by
Danusha Lameris.
It captures these moments so
beautifully.
(12:46):
So I'd like to read
just a few lines to
you.
She writes, "I've been thinking
about the way when you
walk down a crowded aisle,
people pull in their legs
to let you by.
Or how strangers still say
bless you when someone sneezes.
A leftover from the bubonic
(13:07):
plague.
Don't die, we are saying."
Isn't that incredible?
The idea that simple bless
you carries so much history
and connection.
So she continues with saying,
"And sometimes when you spill
lemons from your grocery bag,
someone else will help you
pick them up."
And then this part really
(13:27):
struck me.
"Mostly, we don't want to
harm each other.
We want to be handed
our cup of coffee hot
and to say thank you
to the person handing it.
To smile at them and
for them to smile back."
So I think there's something
really profound here in these
(13:48):
small exchanges.
These gestures, again, may seem
tiny in the moment, but
they're profound in how they
stitch us together as a
community and as human beings.
Holding the door open, offering
the kind word, or lending
a helping hand.
These may seem rather insignificant
in isolation, but they do
(14:10):
create a ripple effect that
can transform a day, transform
a team, and hold us
together as a community.
And that's the heart of
today's message.
Now, let's dig into the
science, because you know I
love bringing research into our
conversations.
Here's what we know about
(14:31):
kindness and why it matters.
Research has shown that simple
acts of kindness and everyday
greetings, generosity, can significantly enhance
social connections and individual well
-being.
So here are some key
findings, the returns on investment,
(14:51):
or ROIs, the benefits, in
other words, from the peer
-reviewed research.
Number one (14:58):
kindness enhances happiness.
A comprehensive review by the
University of Oxford concluded that
engaging in kind acts leads
to a modest yet significant
increase in subjective well-being.
This study suggests that even
small gestures can boost happiness
(15:20):
for both the giver, in
particular, the person performing the
act of kindness, and although
not specifically evaluated in this
study, but in others, you
can imagine the effect is
also positive for the receiver.
And though you can't predict
when you will be on
the receiving end, we can
(15:41):
choose to be on the
kindness-spreading side to bring
that personal gift back to
us and bring the joy
and value and the 'being
seen' moment to the person
receiving.
So kindness brings happiness.
Number two (15:59):
this is good
news because other research has
looked at the impact on
others, and I want to
report and also reinforce that
the impact of kindness on
others is high.
It makes a difference, and
studies have shown that boosting
mood is just one of
(16:21):
the many benefits that the
receiver gets when you choose
to gesture and give a
small act of kindness to
another.
This may seem obvious, of
course, but researchers report that
we actually tend to underestimate
its magnitude or how much
we think it's valued by
(16:42):
others.
Research published in the Journal
of Experimental Psychology from the
University of Chicago Booth School
of Business found that individuals -
evaluating nearly 1,000 of
them across multiple experiments of
performing random acts of kindness,
so think doing something for
(17:02):
others kindly, nicely, with generosity,
and not expecting anything in
return - that the people doing
the acts of kindness often
underestimate the positive impact that
their kind actions actually have.
And amazingly, sort of sadly,
(17:23):
really, this miscalculation of predicting
the level of the recipient's
joy and value received can
deter people from engaging in
acts of kindness.
These pro-social behaviors are
called in the literature, or
that kindness extended 'just because',
(17:44):
despite the substantial benefits to
both.
So I want you to
think about this and help
me spread the word.
Don't underestimate its effects.
In other words, spread the
word as you spread the
kindness, and we'll all benefit.
The third piece of reinforcement
I want to share is
(18:05):
that the net effect, these
acts of kindness, is something
we all do.
This is a human thing,
and it's universal.
People around the globe in
fact, engage and help each
other out, on average, about
every two minutes, according to
some research that I read.
(18:25):
In a multi-country study
published in Scientific Reports just
last year by Giovanni Rossi
and colleagues, they observed that
people agreed to helping out,
- saying "yes" when asked - with
small requests nearly 80%
of the time versus declining.
So they say "yes."
(18:46):
These are the small gestures
or requests like, "could you
hold the door?"
Or "could you help for
a moment?"
Far more did they say
yes than saying no.
We are a species, our
human being species, that we're
largely built on cooperation.
And I'm so relieved to
(19:06):
report this, and it's so
cool that science shows this.
And from this high rate
of compliance, let me put
it that way, saying "yes"
when asked, it does appear
that kindness really is universal.
It makes me think of
my theme song to the
podcast.
"I'm saying yes for better
(19:27):
days.
Yes, I'm on my way.
Yes, it's gonna be okay.
Yeah."
So we say "yes" when
asked, and I think that
that's really cool.
And kindness is universal.
Next up (19:41):
can engaging in
acts of kindness make you
more attractive?
I ask you this.
Well, it appears so.
And sort of, can you
believe we've studied that?
Research from Tel Aviv University
published just this year in
the British Journal of Social
Psychology indicates that prosocial traits,
(20:03):
so things like kindness and
altruism, can enhance perceived physical
attractiveness.
In other words, kind people
are seen as more physically
attractive by others.
And what's more, and I
think this is interesting, this
effect is comparable to, or
(20:26):
even surpasses, the impact of
traits like humor or intelligence
on perceived attractiveness.
So 'wow' to that one.
But being kind or being
generous and warm can increase
physical appeal to others, more
so than being smart or
(20:47):
being funny, though we know
that those have been linked
too.
Sort of cool.
And I'd be remiss with
this final benefit that I'd
like to share for today,
not to mention the physical
benefit as well.
Beyond the psychological perks of
being kind - the boost to
our mood, feeling connected and
(21:08):
warm - research has also linked
helping others and being generous
to better physical health.
In one study in Health
Psychology, older adults who spent
money on others versus themselves
had lower blood pressure, both
systolic and diastolic in this
particular study.
(21:29):
And other research has shown
that performing acts of kindness -
being sharing and caring and
generous - showed improvements in their
immune system profile too at
the genetic and blood level.
And that's a little bit
of 'wow' to add to
the mix.
Blood pressure, immune system, mood,
(21:51):
attractiveness..., there's nothing to lose.
So considering all these findings,
we can say that these
studies collectively demonstrate and support
the notion that simple everyday
gestures can foster social cohesion
and enhance individual well-being.
And they've shown to have
(22:12):
physical benefits too, like lowering
blood pressure.
That's a big one because
many of us are contending
with that and hopefully either
medically managed or medically and
managed with lifestyle.
All of these emphasize the
profound impact of small acts
of kindness.
And here's my favorite part:
(22:34):
acts of kindness can trigger
the release of oxytocin, which
is also known as the
bonding hormone.
So it makes us feel
connected to others as well.
These small moments of kindness
aren't just feel good, they're
biologically hardwired to bring us
closer together.
(22:55):
Now is the part of
this episode where we're going
to share a Mindful Minute
together.
If you've been here before,
you know how this works.
I'll guide you through a
little bit of setup, let
you know when we're starting,
and then begin the clock.
At the end, we'll take
a moment to reflect together.
Sometimes the idea of mindfulness
(23:17):
can feel a bit abstract
or even 'out there' for
some people.
But Thich Nhat Hanh, the
Buddhist monk and renowned teacher
of mindfulness, distills mindfulness into
its purest, simplest form.
He suggests that with each
breath, you are actually cultivating
(23:38):
mindfulness by the fact that
you are aware of the
present moment.
In other words, awareness of
breath is the essence of
mindfulness.
He is a man of
many profound quotes, but another
that is tied closely to
the theme of today is
the quote where he says,
(23:58):
"Breathing in, I am aware
of the interconnectedness of all
beings.
Breathing out, I send peace
to the world."
And that's what we'll do
today in our Mindful Minute.
And that's what we do
when we offer gestures of
kindness outward to others.
(24:18):
We are aware of the
interconnectedness and we send peace,
aka 'we offer kindness' to
the world.
And it's such a powerful
idea because it brings mindfulness
down to the most human
accessible level (24:32):
our breath.
So today we'll use that
awareness as a way to
pause, reflect, and connect with
ourselves.
So to start, I invite
you to find a comfortable
position, sit with your feet
flat on the ground, adjust
them if you need to,
or if your legs are
crossed.
(24:53):
If you're standing, that's okay
too, but make sure your
weight feels balanced.
Relax your shoulders, soften your
jaw.
And if you'd like, close
your eyes or just gaze
softly in front of you
a slight angle downward, maybe
45 degrees.
Take a deep breath in
and let's let it out
(25:14):
slowly just to get a
practice breath in and set
ourselves up.
Breathe in, breathe out.
As we begin, I'll invite
you to think the word
'GOOD' on your inhale and
'DAY' on your exhale today.
(25:36):
'GOOD DAY,'
in other words. This is
not just a greeting,
this is an intention.
So let's try that once.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
Exhale, 'DAY'.
One more time.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
(25:58):
Exhale, 'DAY'.
Now let's begin the clock.
(26:27):
GOOD DAY.
Stay with your breath.
Inhale, 'GOOD'.
Exhale, 'DAY'.
(26:57):
Just a few more moments
here.
And that's our Mindful Minute.
Take one last deep breath
in and let it out
slowly.
(27:17):
Open your eyes if you
haven't already.
And let's reflect.
When we say 'Good day',
it's one of those small
gestures of kindness.
A greeting we offer to
someone else.
But you know what I
like even more about it?
It's the intention for yourself.
When you say 'good day',
(27:39):
you're not just offering the
kindness to another person.
You're also setting the tone
for the day you're creating
around you.
You're stating with conviction - it's
GOOD DAY - the kind of
day you want to have.
The possibility, the intention, the
energy you're bringing into the
(27:59):
world.
So think about how that
may have felt to you.
What came to mind during
that Mindful Minute.
This simple practice reminds us
to pause, to notice, and
to carry kindness forward in
our day,
for others and doing some
self-care for ourselves.
(28:20):
Thank you for sharing that
Mindful Minute with me today.
So how can we bring
this to life in your
and my waking minutes today
and this week?
Here are some simple practical
ways to start adding a
little more kindness to your
life and others' lives too.
(28:40):
Remember the title of this
podcast, 1,000 Waking Minutes.
That's a reminder that time
is life's currency and how
we spend it matters.
The benefits of these small
gestures will have great payoff
for just seconds shared and
spent in your day.
Number one (28:59):
greet with intention.
Just like we practice in
our mindful minute.
Say "good morning", "happy holidays",
or even just "thank you",
but don't rush it.
Say it like ya' mean
it, with intention.
A simple heartfelt greeting can
turn someone's day around, literally.
(29:22):
If you say bless you
or salud or gesundheit, the
latter two literally offering the
word 'health', like wishing someone
good health, to that person,
look at the person for
a moment.
Find a way when you
say it.
Even try to connect eyes.
Number two (29:40):
hold the door
or offer the spot.
Look for opportunities to grab
the door for someone.
It can be almost like
a game.
It can be really fun,
even if they're a little
farther away than usual.
Or let someone go ahead
of you in line at
the coffee shop, the grocery
store, anywhere.
These tiny moments can create
(30:02):
ripples of connection.
Third (30:04):
reach out in writing.
Write a holiday card, write
a text, even an email
that you think about to
someone you care about.
It could be as simple
as "thinking of you and
wishing you a happy season!"
It's just a small act,
but it can be powerful,
especially when it's sort of
on the unexpected.
(30:26):
Both for you, because you
feel good for having done
it, and for them when
they see you pop up
in their inbox or literally
receive a stamped envelope in
the mail alongside all the
other flyers and political banners
and catalogs and whatnot.
Next (30:43):
make a call.
So this is another way
to connect and spread kindness.
Pick up the phone and
call someone you haven't spoken
to in a while, even
if you only have a
couple minutes.
It might feel old-fashioned,
but there's nothing like hearing
a familiar voice on the
other end.
(31:04):
Something I started doing recently
was when I'm crafting an
email sometimes, even to a
business colleague that I have
become friendly with over time,
sometimes I'm mid-sentence, and
I just pick up the
phone and see if they're
there.
It sort of gives me
an opportunity to think about
(31:24):
a new way to connect,
and once in a while,
I get them.
Once in a while, it's
sort of like a quick,
"oh, hi! So good to
hear your voice.
I'm sending you an email...",
and you can cover off
at that moment or say,
"hey, can't talk now, but
so good to hear your
voice."
That's something that I've done
recently.
Another practical way that you
can spread kindness and benefit
(31:46):
is to go the extra
mile if you can.
If you're in the position
to do so - don't stretch
yourself if you're not - but
you might buy a coffee
for the person behind you
in line, or go out
of your way to help
someone in need, whether it's
offering to carry their groceries,
(32:06):
paying for a meal, or
just listening - taking some extra
minutes, even if you were
in a hurry - but taking
extra minutes if someone needs
to talk.
These are the gestures that
people remember - you too! - and
why the 'pay it forward'
stories seem to capture and
attract our interests and resonate
with so many of us.
(32:28):
Next one's really simple:
Share a smile.
Smile at a stranger.
Yes, smiling is contagious.
Even if they don't smile
back, you can smile inside
having tried.
You're planting a little seed
of kindness into the world,
and it will grow.
So the idea of all
of these - I kept it
(32:50):
really simple because it is
simple...
try not to overthink it -
just find one small way
each day to spread a
little kindness.
It might feel small in
the moment.
You might feel funny if
you're doing something new that
you haven't done before and
trying it, but believe me,
and you probably already know,
it makes a difference.
(33:11):
It can transform someone's day,
and it might just transform
you too.
So how will you spend
a few of your 1,000
waking minutes this week?
Maybe in ways that build
kindness, connection, and a little
bit of joy for the
people around you.
(33:31):
So what's it going to
be?
My little challenge to you
to consider this week is
how you're going to put
this practice into your life
or amplify it.
And as you start thinking
about that, let me share
a quick story that's been
on my mind as I
was planning this episode.
Earlier this week, I was
driving my daughter to school,
(33:53):
and we were chatting, and
I shared - we were just
chit-chatting, getting ready for
the day, and I shared -
that I was planning this
episode about small gestures of
kindness, and she's in kindergarten.
And as kids often do,
she has this beautifully simple
and yet also poetic way
of looking at the world.
So I asked her, I
(34:13):
said, "what kind of gestures
or greetings you like to
say to others?"
And without skipping a beat
to pause, she said, "I
say hello, and then I
smile at people."
I followed up curious, "...and
how does that make you
feel when they respond?
What do they say back?"
She thought for a second
(34:34):
and then told me, "it
makes me feel warm inside."
But what struck me was
what happened next.
She looked up to me
and asked, "Mom, how do
you feel when someone says
a gesture or a hello
to you?"
Now, I wasn't surprised she
turned the question back to
me, but I hadn't really
(34:55):
thought about it in that
moment.
And I paused and I
said something like, "I guess
it makes me feel warm,
too.
And I think what it
makes me feel is like
I'm being seen and that
I matter."
And you know what?
It really struck me deeply.
(35:16):
It's striking me now.
I'm welling up in tears.
It's true.
A small gesture like a
smile or hello or a
thank you can create a
profound feeling in the middle
of a big, busy world,
- in a moment - that you've
been seen and you've been
acknowledged.
And maybe you don't even
know how to articulate it
(35:37):
at the moment.
But where you matter, wow,
that's not small at all.
That's extraordinary.
So what's your gesture of
kindness going to be this
week?
Your small gesture of kindness
could be a greeting or
a smile, a simple thank
you.
And know that it's creating
a ripple effect and letting
(35:59):
others - and you - know they
matter.
So before we wrap up,
I'd like to just take
a moment to recap on
today's episode.
We explored the power of
small gestures, the kind that
brightens someone's day and reminds
them that they're seen.
From simple greetings like 'good
(36:20):
morning' to intentional acts of
kindness about how these moments
can connect us and bring
meaning to our lives.
And we looked at how
spending just a few of
our 1,000 waking minutes a
day on kindness can make
a big difference to our
psychological and physical health personally,
(36:43):
not just for others, which
is usually why we're initiating
in the first place.
But it brings it back
to us, too.
Thank you for sharing a
few of your waking minutes
with me today.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian, and
I look forward to continuing
to building these connections together,
one kindness at a time.
(37:04):
Until next time, 'good day'
and be well.
Thank you for tuning in
to 1,000 Waking Minutes.
A huge thank you to
our amazing collaborators, including our
production and marketing teams and
Gabriela Escalante in particular, to
the ultra talented Beza for
(37:25):
my theme music, my lifelong
friend and artist, Pearl Preis
Photography and Design, to Daniel
Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell,
and of course, my family
and everyone working tirelessly behind
the scenes and to you,
our valued listeners,
I so appreciate your support.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
please consider leaving a comment,
(37:47):
writing a review and giving
1,000 Waking Minutes - that's us! -
a five-star rating.
And please hit subscribe on
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever
you enjoy your podcasts.
Please follow and stay connected
at wendybazilian.com.
And don't forget to share
with your friends.
Your support helps us grow
and bring you more great
(38:08):
content.
Until next time, find some
simple opportunities to optimize those
1,000 Waking Minutes each day.
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