How to Clear Your Mind (and Mouth) of Criticism

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
You become what you practice.
And if you've been moving
through your day with a
little more criticism than calm
lately, maybe it's time to
press pause.
And that's what I'm exploring
today.
We experience 1,000 waking
minutes on average every day.
How are you spending yours?

(00:21):
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and
you're listening to 1,000
Waking Minutes.
I can't wait to connect
with you here with practical
ways to eat well, move
daily, and be healthy.
To optimize every waking minute
you live for a happier,
healthier life.
Thank you for sharing some
of your waking minutes with
me today.
Let's get started.

(00:43):
I'm saying yes to better
days, yes.
I'm on my way, yes.
It's gonna be okay, yeah.
Welcome back to 1,000
Waking Minutes.
I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and

(01:05):
I'm so glad you're here.
Today we're doing something that
sounds simple, but is actually
kind of radical.
Today we're taking a break
just one day from criticism.
Not forever, not even for
a week, but just for
today.
A pause to pointing out

(01:25):
what's wrong with the world,
with other people, and yes,
with ourselves.
Funny enough, this came up
recently with my six-year
-old daughter, whom I love
to talk with and also
talk about at times.
It came up when we
were talking about words and

(01:46):
getting a start on our
day and what was coming
up.
We have a little saying,
a little routine in the
morning, typically.
In fact, I had it
made into wooden letters that
are posted on a wall
in a room in our
house.
I say, "what's in store
for today?
I wonder..."
One of us says one
part and one says the

(02:06):
other, but it always starts
with, "what's in store for
today?
I wonder..."
That morning I asked her
what she was thinking about
for school and what the
day might hold, what week
it is.
We have A weeks and
B weeks and different things
happen on them.
Then she turned it around
to me, as we often
do.
She says, "well, what about

(02:28):
you, mama?
What's in store for today?
What's your podcast about this
week?"
She asked.
I said, "well, it's about
criticism and how we all
kind of need to take
a break from it from
time to time," starting with
myself.
This is the impetus here
because we all get wrapped

(02:48):
in that routine.
But at that moment, she
looked at me, learning so
many words, understanding things and
certainly experiencing them.
But she said, "what's criticism?"
She's experienced it.
We all have.
She's witnessed it.
And she's still learning about
sort of nuance and definitions

(03:10):
and hearing context and everything.
So we talked about it
just a little and I
tried to make it.
I found it actually somewhat
challenging to verbalize a little
bit more about criticism, which
helped me for today, hopefully,
to explain it and what
we're going to do with
you.
But I explained it to

(03:30):
her as simple as I
could about when someone says
something that makes you maybe
feel small.
Or when you're corrected, but
not to help, but to
point something out just to
do it.
And we even touched a
little bit on constructive criticism,
which is where I sort
of turned next, because sometimes
the feedback, the constructive criticism

(03:52):
that we're trained to do,
it helps us grow.
And it's kind and it
can be kind.
And it's even asked for.
So she listened and she
nodded and then out of
nowhere she asked, but "how
do you keep from criticizing
the world?"
And that just sort of
stopped me.
It sort of floored me
because isn't that the question?

(04:14):
But how do we stop
from picking apart the world
when there is at times
seemingly so much that frustrates
us or disappoints us or
just gets under our skin?
So I told her, I
don't exactly know all the
time.
I don't always stay away
from it.
But that's why I'm making

(04:35):
this episode, because it reminded
me of some of the
practices and how we can
better ourselves from making the
practice.
But then she said, and
I'll never forget this.
I think I'll probably take
this into episode after episode
and you'll hear me say
this again.
Okay, well, "tell me the
practices," she said.

(04:56):
"Tell me the practices.
Then I'll start practicing the
practices."
So I wrote that one
down.
I mean, "tell me the
practices so I can start
practicing the practices."
That is just gold.
It's so good.
And that's what we're going
to do today.
I'm going to share some
practices.
We're going to talk about
a little bit about why
we fall into the 'criticism

(05:18):
trap'.
We're going to talk about
how we can take breaks
from it and what happens
when we do.
And I'm going to share
those practices, the ones that
I'm working on as well.
Because the truth is, let's
think about it for a
second.
We're all doing it.
Criticism.

(05:38):
It shows up everywhere.
And it shows up all
the time.
It's not just those big
dramatic critiques that we make
or that others make.
It's the little ones.
It's the ones that sneak
in.
It's the ones we don't
even clock as criticism.
Because they're just like part
of the day.
They're like the running thoughts

(05:59):
that go through our mind.
It's like a low-grade,
constant hum or musical background.
Not a happy musical background,
mind you, because I love
music.
But like a constant commentary
that rides alongside.
Like, for example, when you're
driving.
Let's pick some scenarios here.
You're driving.
The person in front of

(06:19):
you is going just slow
enough to be annoying.
But not slow enough for
you to pass them.
And you start narrating the
life choices through your windshield
of what they could be
doing right now.
Anyone relate?
Or how about the customer
service calls?
It seems endless.
Certain days, certain weeks.

(06:40):
You're on hold with the
customer service line.
And the recording is saying,
"your call is very important
to us."
And you're like, is it
though, Mr. Amazon Automaton?
You know, is it?
Is it really?
The weather?
Oh, my goodness.
Talking about the weather.
It's too hot.
It's too cold.
What even is this wind
outside today?

(07:00):
It's too dark, too early.
And daylight savings... don't even
get me started with that
one.
So we do it also
to other people.
We criticize other people we
don't even know.
You know, we do it
in the coffee shop when
we're in line behind someone
and we're overhearing someone ordering

(07:21):
what we think is overly
complicated, double latte, grande, cinnamon,
syrupy, foamy, you know.
I sort of made that
up just a little bit
for effect, of course.
And we do it sometimes
when children are having meltdowns
in public.
We see eyes roll or

(07:42):
commentary happening.
Maybe you've even done it
at times.
And we do it when
someone dares FaceTime in a
waiting room when we're just
trying to take a moment
to breathe.
And, oh, my gosh, I
think we've all experienced the
loud speaking individual in a
seat when people are boarding
the plane, making the deal
and having to get it

(08:03):
done before the plane takes
off.
Really?
We all need to hear
that?
The neighbor.
Think about the neighbor, our
lovely neighbors who bring in
their trash, not just the
way that you would do
it.
Sometimes we critique things as
simple as that.
And then there's ourselves.
We do it in the
mirror.
We do it to our
bodies.

(08:24):
We do it about our
jammed up inboxes and the
'to do' list.
Oh, my gosh.
The to do list.
We critique it.
Then we do it when
we forget to call someone
back and when someone forgets
to call us back.
So really, these are real
things.
Some of it's fair.
Some of it's fair and

(08:45):
real frustrations.
Some of it's real inefficiencies
with the world.
But do we need to
critique it?
And do we get into
sort of a cycle of
it being so easy, that
systematically, as they say with
the brain, the nerves set
fire together, wire together.
It becomes easier and easier

(09:08):
to replicate that as we
move through a day that
as we look back can
be filled with criticism.
So we're not wrong.
Our Wi-Fi should not
drop mid-Zoom.
People should merge together politely
on the highway in zigzag
fashion or whatever that's called.
And I will openly admit
that Daylight Saving Time is

(09:29):
not my favorite.
But when you add it
all up, we can spend
hours of our precious waking
minutes each day commenting and
critiquing, noticing what's off and
sharing it.
Sort of clogging our 'mental
inbox', so to speak.
Online, at work, in text,
in our own heads.
It becomes almost like a

(09:49):
background noise.
And sometimes even a way
we connect with others, like
venting and bonding or laughing
over what's not working.
Here's the thing, though:
A lot of us are
actually trained to do this.
And this is something that
I think about at times.
And it's a really interesting
contrast or not quite a

(10:10):
conflict, but something to reconcile.
In school, we actually learn
to analyze and assess... to
edit.
In work, we're expected to
find problems and fix them.
Critique is sometimes seen as
a sign of intelligence and
even leadership.
But when the skill spills
over into everything all the
time, it becomes the lens

(10:32):
we start to see the
world through.
And it can get exhausting.
It's like running a Yelp
review of your entire day.
Can you imagine?
And sometimes we can forget
to just live it or
focus on some alternatives that
we could be practicing instead.
So today's episode really is

(10:53):
like a little mini reset
on that.
And you can do this
periodically.
It's a break or a
little breath in that kind
of momentum.
And it's certainly not about
pretending that everything's great with
the world.
It's not about toxic positivity
or keeping quiet when something
really matters.
But it's about choosing when

(11:14):
to engage and when to
maybe soften the moment.
It's about noticing instead of
having the critical voice just
show up.
Noticing there may be a
choice on what comes next.
And maybe just letting one
or two of those moments

(11:34):
go.
Because here's an idea I
want to leave you with.
You become what you practice.
And most of us have
gotten quite good at practicing
criticism.
But what if just for
a day we practice something
else?
So that's what we're exploring
today.
The science of why we

(11:56):
do it.
The benefits from taking a
break.
The personal cost of staying
in that loop.
But the possibilities of what
opens when we take a
pause.
And I'll show you the
practices that if I share
you, you can "practice the
practices,"
as my daughter will say.

(12:18):
With a simple five-part
framework.
I keep it simple.
And hopefully a mindful and
memorable statement that will help
you.
I'm right in the middle
of real life.
One day without criticism.
And it can have profound
ripple effects.
So take a breath.

(12:39):
And let's settle in.
This might be your "Can
I just get a minute?"
type of moment.
The kind where you're not
asking for miracles on this.
But just taking a pause.
And the pause is about
criticism.
Let's now talk about what
happens when we actually try
this.
I'm going to talk about
the ROIs.

(13:00):
The benefits.
Some science when we step
away from the constant hum
of critiquing.
Even if just for a
day.
So while there's no specific
study entitled the effects of
a criticism free day.
Yet.
I love the word yet.
Not yet.
What we do have is
some research that comes from

(13:21):
neuroscience.
Behavioral psychology and mindfulness that
points to the power of
taking a break from the
negative loops and reactive patterns
that happen in humans.
And it shows what can
happen when we create even
a little space and choose
a different way of showing
up.

(13:42):
So here are some benefits.
I have five of them
or the returns on investment
of giving yourself a criticism
free day.
You might even start to
feel the shift in a
few minutes of trying.
And let's start by thinking
about the brain.
So ROI number one.
The benefit number one is
quieting the negativity loop.

(14:04):
In other words, breaking our
reflex to critique.
One of the first things
that happens when we pause
criticism, even a little, is
we begin to quiet the
negativity loop in the brain.
Dr. Rick Hansen, a psychologist
and a senior fellow at
UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science

(14:26):
Center.
Isn't that a cool name?
And a New York Times
bestselling author.
And he explains that the
brain is evolved to focus
more on negative experiences than
positive ones.
And why is that?
Well, because our ancient ancestors
had to survive.
So the brain developed a
kind of like hyper vigilance,

(14:47):
a focus and a bias
really toward what's wrong or
what could go wrong.
And so this negativity bias
means that we tend to
dwell in the criticism and
problems of ourselves, of others,
of the world, of our
environment.
It may have helped us

(15:07):
avoid danger and might still
actually in the past.
In modern times, it can
actually promote and lead to
chronic stress or self-doubt
or fatigue, emotional and physical,
really.
But the good news is
that Dr. Hansen has always
said that we can deliberately

(15:28):
build positive experiences in the
brain.
We can actually rewire the
patterns over time.
As he puts it, and
this is a quote, "weave
good experiences into the fabric
of your brain and yourself,"
so that you can weave
those good experiences.
And it really starts with

(15:49):
awareness and a little practice,
of course.
So when you take a
pause from that critical loop,
when you catch yourself, even
choose a different path, you're
not just being nice.
You're literally shifting the wiring
in your brain towards something
more positive and even more

(16:10):
resilient.
So benefit number two, another
major benefit of trying a
criticism-free day is that
it helps us break the
habit loop, that automatic cycle
of critique that many of
us don't even realize that
we're running in.
So Dr. Judd Brewer, he's
an MD and PhD researcher

(16:31):
at Brown University, and he's
a leading expert on mindfulness
and behavior change.
He talks about how our
brains form what he calls
habit loops.
And here's how it works.
There's a trigger, a behavior,
and a reward.
Maybe that sounds familiar, and
maybe that sounds very animalistic,

(16:52):
us humans as animals.
A trigger, a behavior, and
a reward.
So in this case, the
trigger might be a mistake.
The behavior is criticizing yourself,
maybe silently, but maybe out
loud.
And then the reward is
a sense of control over
that, or certainty, or maybe
just a familiar feeling of,

(17:13):
well, that's what I always
do, that type of criticism.
But over time, these loops
can become automatic.
We react without even realizing
it.
And the problem is, it's
a false sense of control,
and it's really not relief
at all.
It doesn't actually help.
It just keeps the loop
going.

(17:33):
It's sort of like the
hamster wheel, just running, running,
running.
So when we break from
criticism, when we concretely and
purposely do, even just once
or twice during a day,
we can interrupt the cycle.
We can create space between
trigger and reaction.
And in that space, that's

(17:54):
where freedom lives.
That's where change can begin.
So Dr. Brewer, and I
want to quote him as
well, he says, "A habit
loop forms as the brain
cycles and stores information to
simplify tasks.
It's important to understand how
these loops occur and identify
how some habits become problematic

(18:14):
in your life."
So it's not about any
kind of magical perfection, but
about pattern recognition, about the
power of choosing something different
and building that awareness as
we break the habit loop.
So another benefit from stepping
back from criticism is giving
yourself a chance to shift

(18:34):
from snap judgments to thoughtful
choices.
So psychologist and Nobel laureate
Daniel Kahneman, he wrote the
book, you may have heard
of it as a wild
bestseller around the world, 'Thinking:
Fast and Slow.'
He explains about two systems
that we have in our
brains.
System one is fast and

(18:55):
automatic.
It runs on instinct.
It's the one that blurts
out, "what were we thinking?!"
before you've even had the
thought sometimes.
And then there's system two.
It's slower.
It's more deliberate.
It's the part that pauses
and considers and says, you
know, "what else could be
going on here?"
Or let me think about
that for a moment.

(19:17):
So here's the thing with
this.
Criticism usually comes from the
first quick fire system.
Fast.
It's automatic.
It's the mental version of
like slamming on the brakes
without checking the mirrors first
and seeing if it's necessary.
But if you give yourself
a second, a breath, you
can enter into system two
and you can call it

(19:37):
in.
And that's where you can
get some perspective, maybe some
empathy.
And let's be honest, a
little more wisdom probably as
well.
So taking a break from
criticism isn't just about being
nicer.
And I said that before.
It's about really building mental
muscle and can let us
choose our response instead of

(19:58):
reacting without thinking through that
fast automatic system.
And it's a shift from
reacting on autopilot to choosing
and getting yourself back in
the driver's seat.
Those drivers out there, right?
We talk about the criticism
that I mentioned before.
Other drivers.
And then we get out
of the car and we
go, oh, hi, friend.

(20:18):
You know, we've just been
talking about what they were
driving.
And then we get out
and we see it's someone
that we know.
We're going to break some
of that today and laugh
at ourselves a little bit
because we're human.
So the next benefit of
a criticism free day is
you can choose curiosity over
certainty by inviting what's called
a beginner's mind.

(20:39):
So you're choosing curiosity about
the situation over certainty that
this is something worth criticizing.
And this idea comes from
Zen Buddhism and especially from
the teacher Shunryu Suzuki, who
helped bring Zen philosophy to
the West.
He passed in 1971, but

(20:59):
he's largely attributed to really
bringing many of the ideas
and philosophies of Zen Buddhism
to the West originally.
And he talked about something
called the Beginner's Mind.
It's a mindset of approaching
life and people and conversations
and even mistakes with openness,

(21:20):
with a sense of maybe
you don't know everything.
There's more to see and
more to learn, that there's
more possibilities than you assumed
at first.
And Suzuki famously said, "In
the beginner's mind, there are
many possibilities.
In the experts, there are
few."
And I don't know about
you, but that really makes

(21:41):
me pause.
Because the truth is, criticism
often comes from a place
of certainty, like you're for
sure.
Because we think that we
know already what someone meant.
We think we know why
they did what they're doing
or are doing what they're
doing.
And we think we already
know how the story is
going to play out.

(22:02):
But when we practice letting
go of the tight grip
maybe of being right or
being the expert in the
moment, again, we can create
some space.
We create that Beginner's Mind,
the openness for listening and
for learning and something softer
and maybe more gentle to
yourself and for others.

(22:23):
So stepping back from critiques
is also stepping into curiosity.
And you know I always
like to turn us away
from the negative toward something.
If you're taking something away,
what are you stepping into?
What do you create space
for?
It's about stepping into curiosity.
And this shift is not
just philosophical.

(22:44):
It changes how you can
relate to people and how
you may relate to yourself.
And finally, the most personal
benefit of all, when you
pause your criticism, especially your
self-criticism, you can create
space for self-compassion.
So Tara Brach, a clinical

(23:05):
psychologist, a renowned thought leader
in this space, and also
a trained Buddhist teacher, and
has a podcast who I
can aspire to.
She has over millions of
people listening to her every
episode.
But she talks a lot
about this.
She reminds us that one
of the most powerful ways
to break the cycle of

(23:25):
judgment is to treat ourselves
with the same kindness we
might offer to a good
friend.
You've heard a version of
this before, certainly.
Not pity on someone, not
letting ourselves off the hook
in a hollow way, but
real compassion.
And she says, and I
quote, "Whenever we're trapped in self-judgment, our first and wisest step toward freedom is to develop compassion for ourselves." And

(23:53):
I think that's just such
a beautiful way to put
it.
Because so often we say
things to ourselves we would
never say out loud to
someone else.
Things that are sharp and
dismissive and defeating.
But when we choose to
stop even briefly and ask,
"what would kindness sound like
right now?"
We can shift the entire

(24:13):
tone of our day.
So a criticism-free day
isn't just about being less
reactive on the outside.
It's about being more caring
on the inside.
It's a practice, and it's
one that can pay you
back the returns on investment
every time you choose.

(24:36):
Okay, so maybe you've been
nodding along with some of
these ideas.
Maybe you've even been noticing
how your own inner voice
and what it's saying, you
might be noticing a little
more closely as we're talking
about this topic.
And all of this is
part of the practice as
well.
So right now, before we

(24:56):
actually get into the practices
that will help you practice
the practices, I want to
offer a moment, you know,
our Mindful Minute, so that
we can practice this a
little bit in real time.
It'll be our opportunity to
pause and anchor ourselves and
gently explore what it feels
like to create space from

(25:17):
criticism.
And maybe enter and put
into it something that can
be softer.
So our Mindful Minute today
is about moving from criticism
to clarity.
So let's first prepare briefly.
If you're safe to do
so, get yourself comfortable.

(25:37):
If you're driving, still pay
attention, but come back to
this later.
Let your feet rest gently
on the floor.
Feel grounded.
Maybe dig your toes in
for a second, then release.
Dig your heels in for
a second.
Release so you know you're
grounded.
Let your hands settle wherever
you are.
Maybe soften your gaze or
you can gently close your
eyes if it feels okay.

(26:00):
Let's take one slow preparation
breath in together through the
nose and out through the
mouth.
Okay, let's begin.
Bring to mind a recent
moment today or this week
when you felt that tug

(26:20):
of criticism.
Maybe it was toward someone
else.
Maybe it was toward yourself.
Nothing dramatic, just a quick
reaction or maybe a judgment
that you made.
Continue to breathe.
Just notice that moment.
And see it without fixing

(26:41):
it.
Label it maybe like judging
or reacting.
Sort of breathe through it.
Invite in a different voice.
What else might be going
on here?
Could I meet this moment
with curiosity?

(27:02):
And let that phrase, curiosity,
echo quietly through your last
couple breaths.
Now let that moment go.
Let it be.
There we have it.

(27:24):
A little bit more than
a minute there.
I had to let go
of the thing that was
coming into my mind.
It took a minute.
Sometimes it does.
But we just created a
little space.
You can shift something even
just by noticing.
And that's going to be
the practice.
It's about awareness.
It's about taking a breath.
It's about softening how our

(27:45):
mind is thinking at that
moment.
It's how we begin.
Thank you for sharing that
Mindful Minute with me.
So now it's time to
put it into practice.
We talked about why, why
stepping away from the constant
criticism can shift how we
feel and how we relate
and even how our brains
function.
And we've taken that minute

(28:06):
together to notice, get sort
of lost in that, and
to release it, stepping into
and toward clarity and into
curiosity.
So now how we bring
this into real life, into
our 1,000 waking minutes
each day.
As you may know already
if you've listened before, I

(28:27):
like to try to keep
things simple and hopefully memorable,
something that you can tuck
in your back pocket for
when you need it most.
You say, oh, I remember
that.
Sometimes it takes a little
practice, but then we get
it.
So I've come up with
a little framework.
And it is one of
those rare moments when an
acronym actually kind of emerged
that actually is a word

(28:49):
that makes sense.
And it's a word that
fits the theme of today.
And the word is clear.
C-L-E-A-R.
Because when we step back
from criticism, especially the quick
and reactive things, we do
start to feel a little
clearer.
Our relationships, our choices, even

(29:10):
our inner dialogue that chatter.
So here it is, five
steps to help you create
a criticism-free day or
at least a few criticism
-free moments.
But I encourage you to
try the whole day.
Just keep coming back to
it.
Keep coming back to it.
And the best part is
you don't need anything fancy
here at all.

(29:31):
You just need a little
intention, little awareness to bring
to it, and five letters.
C in clear is Catch
it.
This is the first step
just to notice.
Catch the moment that the
critical thought shows up.
It might be about someone
else.
It might be about yourself.

(29:51):
It might be about that
coffee order or that driver
who cut you off.
Whatever it is, notice it.
Label it gently if that
helps like we did in
the mindful minute.
Is it judging?
Is it wanting to fix
something?
Here it is again.
Awareness is the first step
of beginning to change.

(30:13):
Catch it.
L - Let it pause.
Oh, my gosh, the pause.
Here's the part that feels
small but makes so much
difference.
Do nothing.
Take a beat.
Take a breath.
Close your lips.
Whatever it is, take a
pause.
Let it pause.
Don't react yet.

(30:34):
Don't post the comment.
Don't speak the sentence.
Take a breath and let
the moment breathe too.
You're starting to interrupt the
pattern when you take pauses.
We use this all the
time in all kinds of
things that we want to
make change in our behaviors,
in our workplace.
It's take a pause.

(30:56):
Let it pause.
And it can be powerful.
E, Explore with curiosity.
Here's that curiosity.
Explore.
Instead of defaulting to critique,
get curious.
Ask, what is going on
here?
What else might be true?
Always love that one.

(31:17):
What's missing?
What else might be true?
Or even, why is this
bothering me right now?
Why?
One of my favorites from
earlier that I talked about
is, I wonder what's behind
that choice.
I wonder what's behind that.
This is the Beginner's Mind
in action.

(31:38):
You're going to choose to
be open, curious instead of
certain.
Next, A - Ask.
Is it necessary or helpful
to criticize, to say something?
Not every thought needs to
become an action.
Not every reaction needs a

(32:01):
reaction.
Ask, is it necessary or
helpful?
Ask yourself, is this for
connection or correction?
Is this true?
Is this kind?
Is this needed?
This is a little nod
to that Buddhism's right speech
right there.

(32:22):
Sometimes the answer is yes.
And sometimes it's just not
the moment for that.
And R, Release or Rephrase.
Now you have a choice.
Because you have a choice.
You can let it go.
Release it.
You can let it go
entirely.
Maybe with a big breath.

(32:42):
Exhale.
On the exhale.
Or you can reframe it
into something kinder or more
useful.
Release or Rephrase.
You might try like a
phrase, "May I be well,
may they be well."
It's like a metta phrase
or a little mantra that
you can work through.
Or you might choose silence.

(33:02):
Or you might choose humor.
Or you might choose patience.
You can let it move
through.
And you're actually in control
here.
Because you have a choice
to release or rephrase.
So that's the practice.
Catch it.
Let it pause.
Explore.

(33:23):
Ask.
And release.
Clear.
C-L-E-A-R.
When you want to clear
your mind of criticism, even
just for a moment, this
is your guide.
And maybe this becomes your
mantra for the day.
Maybe this is your mini
reset when something gets under
your skin.
Or even the way you

(33:44):
shift how you speak to
yourself, especially when no one's
listening.
Because the truth is, when
we make room for this
kind of clarity, for using
clear, you can free so
much space up as well.
For your creativity.
For your compassion.
For calm.
Just being a little more

(34:04):
human with each other, perhaps.
Clear.
C-L-E-A-R.
So here's the thing I
hope you take with you
today:
'You become what you practice.'
And for my daughter and
you, hopefully I've given you
the practices in a way
that you can go practice
the practices to help start

(34:26):
to break the cycle of
criticism that we all find
ourselves in from time to
time.
By the way, if you,
like so many of us,
have been practicing criticism even
unintentionally, then it makes sense
that it shows up so
easily.
So don't criticize that about
yourself.

(34:46):
But what if just for
a day you practice something
else?
Maybe it's catching one critical
thought before it leaves your
lips.
Maybe it's pausing before an
eye roll.
Maybe it's choosing curiosity or
even compassion instead of a
usual reaction.
Even one small shift can

(35:08):
start to change the tone
of your day.
And that's the invitation.
Try it.
I sure am.
I do and I am
and I remind myself when
I need it most.
And sometimes it comes up
when the timing of episodes
happen as well.
So try it with someone.
This can be really cool
to try with a friend
and check in and even

(35:29):
reflect and even marvel, sometimes
laugh about it later.
And remember, this is not
about creating some idealized version
of a world that's free
of criticism, but it's about
practicing toward releasing some of
the noise, lowering the background
music of critiques, and turning
up the volume on awareness
and the happy and joyful

(35:50):
music you really want to
listen to.
It's about your presence.
It's about giving the people
around you and yourself just
a little more space to
be human.
Do you feel like you
might need this?
I know I do every
so often.
So if you do give
it a try, I'd truly
love to hear from you.

(36:11):
You can always find me
at wendybazilian.com.
That's my website.
Or you can write me
at 1KWM@wendybazilian.com.
And again, you might try
this with a friend or
share, if you would, the
episode with someone who might
like this.
And as always, thank you
for sharing a few of
your waking minutes with me

(36:32):
today as we explored the
simple but powerful practice of
a criticism-free day.
Until next time, be well.
Thank you for tuning in
to 1,000 Waking Minutes.
A huge thank you to

(36:53):
our amazing collaborators, including our
production and marketing teams, and
Gabriela Escalante in particular.
To the ultra talented Beza
for my theme music, my
lifelong friend and artist, Pearl
Preis Photography and Design.
To Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen,
Joanna Powell, and of course
my family.
And everyone working tirelessly behind

(37:14):
the scenes.
And to you, our valued
listeners, I so appreciate your
support.
If you enjoyed today's episode,
please consider leaving a comment,
writing a review and giving
1,000 Waking Minutes, that's us,
a five-star rating.
And please hit subscribe on
Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever
you enjoy your podcasts.

(37:35):
Please follow and stay connected
at wendybazilian.com.
And don't forget to share
with your friends.
Your support helps us grow
and bring you more great
content.
Until next time, find some
simple opportunities to optimize those
1,000 Waking Minutes each day.

(38:00):
days, yes.
I'm on my way, yes.
days, yes.
I'm on my way, yes.

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How to Clear Your Mind (and Mouth) of Criticism