Let’s take a ride down the rabbit hole of horrible songs. Some are popular, some went platinum but all of them make us want to die.
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“I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – The Jackson 5”
Christmas is meant to be wholesome… until you look at the lyrics too closely.
This week, the boys dig into I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by The Jackson 5 — a song that somehow manages to be festive, creepy, and deeply unhinged all at once.
Was Mum having an affair with Santa? Was Dad in the corner wi...
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This week we dive head-first into the late-90s bubblegum fever dream that is “Doctor Jones” by Aqua. We break down the jungle-camp video, the chaotic lyrics, and why Aqua seemed determined to make every song sound like it was recorded inside a bouncy castle.
From the Indiana Jones knock-off storyline to the hyperactive Eurodance production that could powe...
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This week the boys dive into “Beez in the Trap” by Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz — a track that somehow manages to be about money, slang, drug spots, and absolutely zero bees. And yet we spend half the episode talking about bees anyway.
Chibs tries to decode the meaning of “I bees in the trap,” Gav has a full meltdown about the song never dropping a proper bea...
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Bruce Springsteen might be The Boss, but in I'm on Fire he's also… extremely calm about being absolutely covered in metaphorical (or maybe real?) flames.
This week, we dive deep into one of the most quietly horny and confusing songs ever written. Is Bruce seducing someone? Is he literally combusting? Did he just wet the bed in three different wa...
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Doja Cat went full devil mode for “Paint The Town Red,” so we thought we’d dive straight into the chaos and see what the hell is going on. The crew tries to make sense of devil references, kidney-level anatomy, and why she’s only letting us watch her eat exactly ten more times. We also pitch a new T-shirt slogan, debate whether anyone actually looks bett...
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In this episode of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, the boys take flight—literally and metaphorically—as they dive headfirst into R. Kelly’s delusional gospel-ballad-turned-Olympic-theme, “I Believe I Can Fly.”
From Space Jam nostalgia to the harsh reality of sex crimes, Chibbs, Bevo, and Dan Southern unravel the bizarre lyrics, ridiculous metaphors,...
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Hey team — it’s Bevo here (yep, that Bevo). We’re cooking up a Q&A episode, and we want you to be part of it.
Ask us anything: Why do they call him Mad Dog? Which songs have we rated the worst so far? Did Chibbs ever pay Dan that eight grand? (You already know the answer.)
Send your questions to https://www.1001songsthatmakeyouwanttodie.com/conta...
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Taylor Swift’s new song “Wood” has arrived — and the boys are asking the big questions:
Is it about love? Superstition? Or… Travis Kelce’s actual wood? 🌲😳
Join Chibbs, Bevo, Gav, and Mad Dog as they unpack every ridiculous lyric, dissect the erection metaphors, and debate whether Taylor’s officially gone full Katy Perry. From Daisy mutilation to re...
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Was It Must Have Been Love by Roxette really a heartbreaking ballad… or the world’s most elegant song about farts? 💨
In this episode of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, the boys dive into Roxette’s biggest hit, famous from Pretty Woman. We uncover:
The lost Christmas version of the song 🎄
Why it might secretly be about p...
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Let Her Cry was one of the biggest hits of the 90s — but does it actually hold up, or is it just a sloppy, tear-soaked mess? In this episode, we rip into Hootie & the Blowfish’s overblown ballad, from the melodramatic lyrics to the vocal delivery that made Darius Rucker a household name.
Is this song a heartfelt classic, or the definition of cringe? L...
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Alex Warren tried to pour his heart into Ordinary — but did he just give us a beige anthem for the TikTok era instead? We pull apart the lyrics, the delivery, and the over-produced vibe to see why this song feels less “relatable” and more… painfully average.
Join us as we debate whether Ordinary is a harmless pop track or an earworm that should’ve stayed ...
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Naughty By Nature’s O.P.P was a 90s hip hop anthem — catchy, controversial, and confusing as hell. But what does O.P.P even mean, and does the song actually hold up? In this episode of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, we break down the lyrics, the innuendo, and why this track had parents panicking while kids sang along without a clue.
Expect comedy, ...
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Bob Dylan’s Mr. Tambourine Man is called a masterpiece of folk music — but does it really deserve the hype? In this episode of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, we tear apart the lyrics, debate the meaning, and ask if Dylan was a genius poet or just mumbling nonsense with a guitar.
Expect comedy, hot takes, and a lot of shade thrown at one of the most...
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Score: 7.4
Huntr/x’s Golden arrives like a motivational poster you’d find hanging in a gym bathroom, but set to a synth line that sounds vaguely like it was borrowed from a video game character’s redemption arc. It’s a song that insists on optimism with the ferocity of a Labrador that’s just discovered a tennis ball.
Musically, Gol...
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Score: 8.1
In 2006, Petra Marklund, better known by her Europop nom de guerre September, released Cry for You, a track that felt less like a song and more like a government-mandated vaccination against sadness. Somewhere between a breakup anthem and an IKEA flat-pack instruction manual for melancholy, the Swedish queen of c...
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We want to give a shout-out to a brand new podcast from a friend of the show: Moose On The Loose.
If you love the unfiltered chaos of 1001 Songs That Make You Want To Die, you’ll want to add this to your list. It’s funny, it’s wild, and it’s worth your time.
👉 Search Moose On The Loose wherever you get your podcasts and hit follow/subscribe to support a m...
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Score: 3.4
It takes a certain kind of courage to title your duet One Too Many when the song itself sounds like it was written after exactly that number of beers. Keith Urban and Pink, two pop-country-adjacent titans, come together here not so much in harmony as in a musical custody battle over who can out-melo...
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Sabrina Carpenter — “Manchild”
Pitchfork Score: 5.8
On “Manchild,” Sabrina Carpenter trades in her usual sugary pop flair for what feels like a subtweet set to music. The song drips with sarcasm, which is fitting, because it sounds like it was written directly after seeing an ex-boyfriend post a thirst trap captioned “rise and grind.”
Carpenter takes ...
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Benson Boone — “Beautiful Things”
Pitchfork Score: 6.4
Benson Boone’s “Beautiful Things” is the kind of song that sounds like it was carefully engineered to play during the end credits of a Netflix teen drama—specifically the episode where the main character finally kisses their crush, only for it to start raining in cinematic slow motion. Boone’s vo...
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Pitchfork Review – Katy Perry: Waking Up in Vegas
Score: 7.9 (Best New Hangover)
If Hunter S. Thompson had written Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as a sugar-coated rom-com, Waking Up in Vegas would be the soundtrack. Katy Perry delivers a glitter-fuelled ode to bad decisions, late-stage capitalism, and the kind of hangover that makes you question bot...
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