Episode 13: Read the Room: Prevent Conflict Before It Starts | 12MinuteLeadership

Ever wondered why some workplace conflicts seem to erupt out of nowhere? The answer lies in understanding what triggers different personality types. In this episode of the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast, I unpack how the three core motives—People, Performance, and Process—not only drive behavior but also reveal what potentially sparks conflict when these values are threatened or ignored.

Dive deep into the world of "Blues" (people-motivated individuals) who thrive on relationships and inclusion. Learn why excluding them from meetings or decisions can trigger significant discord, and discover practical strategies to keep them engaged without sacrificing efficiency. For your "Reds" (performance-driven team members), I explain why delays and excessive planning can create frustration, and share tactics to maintain their momentum while still making thoughtful decisions. Finally, understand why your "Greens" (process-oriented colleagues) need structure and time for analysis, and how rushing them without adequate information can lead to resistance or passive aggression.

This episode equips you with specific, actionable prevention strategies tailored to each motivation type. By recognizing potential triggers before they activate, you'll transform your leadership approach from reactive conflict management to proactive harmony building. Whether you're leading a small team or an entire organization, these insights will help you communicate more effectively, make better decisions, and create an environment where everyone can contribute their best work. Ready to reclaim the emotional energy you've been spending on unnecessary conflict? This episode shows you how.

Join me for part three of this series on core strengths. Check out my book "Lead Anyone" on Amazon and visit www.eliseboggs.com for information on executive retreats, customized training, and coaching to help level up your leadership.

Follow on Instagram: @12minuteleadership

Order my book, Lead Anyone!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the 12-Minute Leadership Podcast
where, in 12 minutes or less,I'll share small things that you
can put into immediate practicethat will make a big difference
in your leadershipeffectiveness.
I'm your host, eliseBoggs-Morales leadership
professor, consultant and coach.
For the last 17 years, I havehelped thousands of leaders

(00:25):
level up their influence andachieve remarkable results.
If you want to trade compliancefor true commitment and create
your dream team, you are in theright place.
Get ready for a quick hit ofpractical wisdom to increase
your team's engagement, inspiretop performance and retain your
best talent.
Ready to level up yourinfluence and get better results

(00:47):
.
12 Minutes starts now.
Hi everyone, elise here,welcome to episode 13.
Today, we're diving into acrucial leadership topic
conflict.
As leaders, we all know thatconflict is inevitable.
It's not a matter of if, butwhen.
But what if we could preventconflict before it even starts?

(01:09):
What if we could understandwhat triggers conflict in others
and use that knowledge to avoidmisunderstandings,
miscommunications anddisagreements?
On last week's episode, Italked about the three Ps people
, performance.
I talked about the three Pspeople, performance and process.
These are the three coremotives that drive human
behavior.

(01:29):
When we learn how others aremotivated, we can then be
strategic in how we communicateso that we can garner the
engagement and performance wedesire from our teams.
But the three Ps also providean additional insight potential
conflict triggers.
If we can understand others'potential conflict triggers and
avoid them, a huge percentage ofconflict becomes preventable.

(01:51):
When you know what someonevalues the most either people,
performance or process you canmake a pretty educated guess
about the type of communicationand behaviors that would not be
effective with them.
Today, I'm going to show youhow to get the emotional energy
you are spending on unnecessaryconflict back.
Sound good, let's go.

(02:14):
So before we dive intoprevention strategies, let's
quickly recap the three corestrengths motives these are
fundamental to understandingwhat triggers conflict for
people.
The first motive is people, orour blues.
People with this motive valuerelationships and achieve
feelings of self-worth by beinggenuinely helpful to others and

(02:35):
knowing that their support wasreceived and valued.
They need appreciation to knowthat their efforts made their
intended impact.
The second motive isperformance.
These are our reds.
People with this motive aredriven by goals, results and
achievement.
They thrive in high-pressuresituations and they tend to be

(02:55):
action-oriented.
The third motive is process ourgreens.
People with this motive valuestructure, systems and accuracy.
They are logical and methodical, preferring to analyze
situations carefully beforemaking decisions.
Now that we've laid thegroundwork for each motive,

(03:16):
let's talk about how each motivecan trigger conflict.
Understanding what people valuecan help us understand what
triggers conflict for them.
When these values arethreatened or ignored, it causes
tension.
Here's how that looks for eachmotive.
We'll start with our peoplepeople, our blues.
So people with the peoplemotive are deeply invested in

(03:36):
their relationships.
They're sensitive to anythingthat threatens their sense of
harmony or connection.
If they feel excluded,criticized or if there's a lack
of consideration for howdecisions impact people, it
could trigger conflict.
So I want you to think about isthere somebody on your team
right now that you can think isprobably a people-motivated

(03:57):
person, a blue?
And here's a scenario you mightfind yourself in.
So the scenario would beexcluding a team member from a
critical meeting.
So I want you to imagine you'releading a project team and
there's a crucial meeting thatwill shape the direction of an
important initiative.
In a rush to make decisions,you decide to leave one team
member, who has been closelyworking on the project, out of

(04:20):
the meeting.
You don't intend any harm.
You simply didn't think theirinput was necessary for that
particular stage of the project.
However, this person valuesinclusion and collaboration
deeply, as they're motivated byrelationships and teamwork.
This type of scenario triggersconflict with the blue for these
reasons mainly an exclusion ofrelationships.

(04:42):
Being excluded from animportant meeting feels like a
personal slight, especiallysince they are highly invested
in the team dynamics.
They may feel that theircontributions aren't valued,
which threatens the harmony andtrust they've worked to
establish with the group.
To prevent this type ofconflict, you want to be mindful
, especially with those who havea people or blue orientation,

(05:04):
that being included matters.
So ensuring that everyone feelsheard and included, either
directly or through a follow-upconversation, could prevent a
breakdown in trust.
You could also acknowledgetheir contribution.
So before excluding someone,it's helpful to acknowledge
their efforts and let them knowwhy their input may not be
needed at that time.
A quick check-in to say, hey, Ivalue your contributions and

(05:28):
I've decided this meeting needsto be a quick decision-making
session, but I'll keep youupdated.
This can go a long way inpreventing unnecessary conflict
with the blue.
So let's talk about ourperformance-driven people, or
our reds.
So they're focused on results.
They thrive on efficiency,speed and getting things done.
So if they feel that theirgoals are being obstructed, that

(05:49):
decisions are being delayed orthat progress is being slowed.
It can trigger frustration.
They might come across asaggressive or demanding, but in
reality they're simply reactingto the perceived threat to their
performance.
Conflict arises when othersdon't share their sense of
urgency or drive for achievement.
So here's a common scenariothat could trigger conflict.

(06:12):
For a red Imagine you'releading a team through a
high-stakes, time-sensitiveproject.
The project is running behindschedule and there's a critical
decision that needs to be madequickly to avoid further delays.
However, as the leader, youdecide to hold a series of
meetings for additional feedbackbefore making the final call,
which causes further delays inmaking the decision.

(06:35):
The red or performance-drivenperson is going to get triggered
for three main reasons.
One a perceived lack of urgency.
The delay caused by extendedmeetings and waiting for
feedback may be seen as a wasteof valuable time.
Extended meetings and waitingfor feedback may be seen as a
waste of valuable time.
Two, frustration withindecisiveness.

(06:56):
If they perceive thatleadership is being indecisive
or overanalyzing a situation,they may see it as a lack of
leadership and direction.
Third, the trigger could be animpediment to goal achievement.
Because they're highlygoal-driven, any actions that
hinder their ability to meetobjectives, especially in a
time-sensitive environment, canbe seen as obstacles.
So how do we prevent this typeof conflict with the red?

(07:18):
First, be clear and decisive.
Avoid dragging out processesthat could lead to frustration.
Be clear, concise and direct inyour decision-making.
Second, value their efficiencyand align on goals.
Ensure that yourdecision-making process is
aligned with the Red's focus onachieving goals.
If there are delays orroadblocks, explain the

(07:41):
rationale clearly and give thema sense of ownership over how to
resolve the situation quickly.
This is how to preventunnecessary conflict with a
performance-driven person.
And finally, let's talk aboutour process-oriented people, or
our greens.
People with the process motiveare driven by accuracy, data and
structure.
They value clarity and the timeto think things through before

(08:04):
jumping to conclusions.
If they feel rushed,unsupported or that decisions
are being made without adequateinformation, they may retreat
into analysis, paralysis orbecome passive aggressive.
So let's talk about a commonscenario rushing through
decisions without adequateinformation a sure trigger for
green.

(08:25):
So imagine you are leading ateam through a project that
requires careful planning andstrategic thinking.
There's a critical decisionthat needs to be made and the
team is under pressure todeliver results quickly.
As a leader, you push for aquick decision, urging the team
to move forward without fullygathering all the necessary data
, analyzing potential risks orconsidering the long-term

(08:48):
consequences.
This is a potential trigger fora green.
Why there's a lack of clarityand structure.
Greens need structure, clarityand a logical approach.
If a leadership pushes for aquick decision without giving
them that time, it can feel likea breach of their need for a
well-organized process.

(09:08):
Also, another trigger is a fearof inaccurate decisions.
The most compelling drive for aprocess-oriented person is
getting it right.
And how can they get it rightwithout all the data?
The third is a perceived lackof respect for expertise.
Greens are driven individualswho want to see themselves as

(09:30):
the guardians of the process andthe ones who provide the
logical, methodical thinkingthat keeps things running
smoothly.
So if leadership overlookstheir expertise or disregards
their need for thorough analysis, it can feel disrespectful and
dismissive.
This can trigger feelings ofbeing undervalued or
underappreciated, leading toconflict.

(09:51):
So how can you prevent conflictwith a green or process oriented
person?
Provide time for analysiswherever possible.
I always suggest that you sendan agenda to greens before a
meeting so that they have timeto think things through and can
contribute during the meeting.
You can also offer clear,structured communication when

(10:12):
time is tight, communicatedecisions with clarity and
structure If you have to rush adecision, but you can provide
the logical rationale as to whya pivot needs to be made.
That approach will help a greenget on board.
Pivot needs to be made.
That approach will help a greenget on board.
And finally, you can create aplan for addressing risks.
Perhaps that's creating acontingency plan with a green.

(10:34):
They're very risk adverse andoften want to be sure that, if
things don't go as planned,there's a solution.
By including them in theplanning for potential
challenges, you reduce thefeeling of being unprepared.
So there you have it Threemotives, people, performance,
process and three triggers, allconnected to when those values
are threatened, it leads toconflict.

(10:57):
So think about people on yourteam that might be
people-oriented,performance-oriented or
process-oriented.
Now you're more equipped toprevent unnecessary conflict.
Well, I hope you enjoyed today'sepisode.
Join me for part three of thisseries on core strengths.
I'll see you next time.
Like what you heard on today'sepisode and want to go deeper,

(11:26):
subscribe to this podcast so younever miss an episode.
You can also pick up my bookLead Anyone on Amazon.
Then go to my website to checkout ways that we can support
your leadership goals.
From executive retreats tocustomized training and coaching
, my team of experts will helpyou level up your leadership and

(11:46):
accelerate your results.
Go to wwweliseboggscom for moreinfo.